₦airaland Forum

Love braids. I think they even make women look younger.

Shy-One:
For some reason - if you mentioned it - I didn't retain it

And if you did mention it before - at that time, you were more or less just a user name, whereas now, you are a bit more than just a userid as I am talking a bit more to you on NL and off

So you have my attention much more and I am now able to retain your words and you are separated out from the crowd of other user ids.

So I can see you for you a bit more clearer if you understand what I mean

Ok Ma'am. Roger that!

^^^ Yes I am Yoruba.

Actually thought I mentioned this before.

Shy-One:
I don't know what to say,

But I can tell you that you are a very handsome man and I will leave it at that.

What is your month and day of birth - may I ask you?

Oh my. I blush! Thanks for the compliment. Never been told that before.

I'm a Taurus.

Yeah, thts me.

Why? What if I am?

^^^ Sent

Lol, funny question.

6ft 1 and 205lbs. I am told athletic build. Won't say I'm the big, muscular type, but quite cut. Would say I'm in btw. I'll see if I can find a pic.

Interesting thread. Always thought most ladies prefered the big n muscular dudes.

Shy-One:
He got pretty upset with me - really, really upset - but we worked through it - I really hope I don't have to deal with the "silent treatment" from a future mate again. I tire ooo.

Do you give "silent treatment" or have you received it from another?

Lol! I see you have blended in and become an honorary naija.

I must admit, I have been guilty of giving the silent treatment. Very guilty as a matter of fact. But maturity and experience has taught me that it is not an effective means of dealing with situations. Not at all. Your mate should be your best friend and you should learn how to air out differences w/out hitting below the belt.

Shy-One:
You flatter me  

Lax - I had dealt with it for 2 years - trying to be a good wifey - but it really hurt - it hurts when someone gives silent treatment and you go over the top to please them.  It really hurts especially if you are from an environment where you talk about your thoughts, troubles and concerns.  My family - both parents were teachers and had masters and doctoral degrees and really believed in discussing and working things out.  So to find out that my husband (now deceased) was into using a "silent treatment" approach - I found out after we married that one of his few not-so-good qualities was this approach - I just knew for the sake of the marriage and resolving issues "we had to talk" - so I had to study what would or wouldn't be the most effective approach - and those were what nipped it in the bud.  I felt a bit guilty about "spending his money" though because he was a very frugal saver and I knew if I spent money - he wouldn't stay silent for long.  Also, hiding his underwear and deodorant - gave me a bit of qualms as well - but I needed him to talk to me and it was effective.  I knew that crying or screaming or theatrics would not work on him at all.

We were able to work things out by talking things through.  

So how have you been?  I will respond to your last transmittal.

Hey! Been doing ok. Cool, take your time.

What you did in response to the silent treatment was kinda cute. I must admit. If that was me you did it to, I would have been mad as hell, but on the inside I wouldve been kinda light-hearted and touched, but I would still keep a straight face not to let you know!

Lol

Shy-One:
I had someone who used silent treatment as a weapon - and since I had never experienced silent treatment - it was very painful to me and hurt me deeply.

Then after a few years of dealing with this person (a mate) and I studied that individual closely to ascertain/figure him out.  It dawned on me how to remove "silent treatment" from my life.  

The first thing you have to do is to immediately go into "automatic pilot" and stop caring about him speaking or not speaking to you and START focusing on yourself.

Also introduce him to "gorilla warfare-type of attention grabbing conversation items"

1.  I started spending his money (normally I am a saver-when he stops speaking it initiates that very lavish spender that resides within  )
2.  I started selling things out of the home that I knew he would miss
3.  I interrupted his daily routine (relocated his hygiene products and shaving/bath items as well as his underwear)

I also did not do the above list in the order listed and I did not do them ALL TOGETHER - I also did it really QUIETLY WITHOUT SOUND or advance notice of any sort - and I would do them randomly and then go to the gym or the spa or visit friends for hours and hours and hours so that I am not seen or heard when he comes home and I MAKE SURE THAT I intentionally am not around as his frustrations peak as they usually peak whenever he cannot find this or that (he would arrange his personal items according to shape, size and color) - after a few times of not being able to find this or that - he immediately stopped the silent treatment and when he stopped and started speaking and asking me - "where is this and where is that and what I am doing and where am I going" - I decided on my own to extend his silent treatment routine FOR HIM - just because he wants to now stop doesn't mean that I am going to stop from staying silent so "I continued to stay quiet until I was ready to talk"

When I turned and flipped "his silent treatment" back on him - he stopped - but it took me some time to figure out how to rid my life of that nonsensical manner of his.

If you have a problem with me - we need to discuss it - or I will make you join me in the "hell you create" in your attempts to control me.  You will be my partner in that hell.  Adults should learn to be adults or pay the consequences that comes from irrational behavior.

Lol.

Sister Shy, this is funny, and quite strategic I must admit. You cornered him.

anonymous6:
https://www.afrobella.com/wp-content/afrobella%20images/FebVibe.jpg

Ouch! Who is this? She can have my babies, I won't object.

For God!!!

nolongTing:
Just the way I like it

She ain't lying

Notice how this thread didn't get much "press." Seems like many Sisters don't play with their weaves. Was looking at the other threads (south eastern and south western beauties), and noticed the majority of them had weaves on. I wasn't really impressed by the southwestern thread though. Seen better beauties than the ones that were posted.

african1:
My white teacher once told me black people don't blush! lol

I'm sure she believed we don't play golf either. lol

^^^^^

100% Black-Sexy!!! Love it!! Black Queen for real.

anonymous6:
@Lax95


That's is good of you, any Black woman that is with you would be lucky

Aww bless! Thanks, Sister. I blush. And us chocolate folks don't usually blush much

Jenifa_:
unless those women are mixed or have naturally long, straight hair, those "cute braids" you talk about are made with extensions (fake hair).

This is true my Sister. However, braids are still considered a natural "look" on black women. And this is why I also appreciate this. I think its a damn sexy look as a matter of fact.

horny4u:
Thanks for the kind words my brother

Lots of 9ja babes better than me , and some are still single.

The problem is this gals compete with the TV at home and the printer in the office : they donot go out, but as a Man please source them out, men need women and vis a vis.

May the Almighty bless you too.

Sister

I have read your comments in this thread and some others, and I must say I appreciate your thought process. You process things from a "realistic" and "practical" school of thought. Rather than with emotion and cultural norms. Shows you are an independent thinker. I think alot more women would be happily married to good men with great work ethic and a bright future if they thought like you.

Hugs from here, Sister.

Jenifa_:
I totally agree.
not matter how comfortable one is with her natural hair. she is not a one-man island and there are many external factors that influence her choice besides her own internal confidence and pride. ex. employers, family, men etc opinion matter. Like i said, most women wear weaves to fit in the society. and the societal standards are defined in a large part by our celebrities.
I have seen many women who wear out their natural hair. I admire their confidence and at the same time feel bad for them because I know the rejections they will face by society. esp if their natural hair is very nappy.

same goes with bleaching. it is a horrible thing to do to oneself but the women who do it are not silly or oblivious of the social benefits (in the short term at least lol). It is a fact that men and society in general prefer lighter skin and straighter hair. that is exactly why women do it. It's not a silly reason at all although it has consequences for ones self esteem and health. It's like choosing your poison or the lesser of two evils.

This is a shame. Don't know about other men, but when I see a hot black woman with some cute braids, I always thank God for creating my race.

^^^
@Anonymous

Sister.

I do agree that black men are partly responsible for this. Its not just the western world though. In Nigeria too. Why do you think these chicks in Nigeria are trying to copy (even out-pace) the Sisters in the western world, when it comes to "marrying" weave?

Corporate world in America also takes some blame, as I mentioned earlier. White folks are intimidated by the Sisters who sport their natural look owing to misconceptions they have, that these Sisters would be rebellious in the corporate world.

Personally, I would pick a Sister with braids over one with brazilian, indian, scandanavian weave, anyday. But that's just me. Nothing wrong with a perm, but wearing someone else's hair and expecting to get credit for that is a false sense of beauty IMO.

More of them. The weave warriors.

All

I will tell you why I despise weave.

1- It doesn't give black women 100% beauty-bragging rights, since you are loaning features from other races.

2- It suggests that the women who wear them don't feel comfortable with their REAL God-given features. Thereby suggesting that black can't be beautiful when it is 100%.

3- It enriches an industry that isn't black. We are its biggest customers. What a shame. Do you see any of them buying features from black women?

4- I once dated a chick who lived by weave. She shed like a dog. Weave all over my place. Even months later, after I had my carpet professionally cleaned and shampooed, I still find strands of her weave.

@ OP

Now that she has asked you out, be prepared for her to wear both the heels and the pants in the relationship. Not sure what planet or time you are from, but seriously Bros, this is NOT a good move. When YOU heard that she had been asking after you, why didn't you go ahead and be a man and ask her out. And you are also feeling like a stud because she is going to also pay for the date too? Wow! I will tell you this, this chick has an agenda. You will soon find out.

All the best, bros.

anonymous6:
she is pretty

She is. And she actually has a group that focuses on black women sporting their natural hair/look.

I'm not entirely against weave once and a while but what I am against is black women using it 24/7 and take care of it more then their real hair, they cherish the fake hair over their own and as a result their hair gets damaged, it just doesn't make sense. look at what happens to women who only wear weave and how their hair gets damaged as a result that they can't do with out weave, here is one black women celebrity named Naomi Campbell that is a good example:
[quote][/quote]Ouch! Now this is horrible. Take a look at these ones below. These are actually Yoruba chicks. These chicks live and die by weave.  

My Sister,

Let's not even get into the weave-marrying chicks in Naij. Them and weave made a covenant to each other even before weave became their soul-mates. Many of them invest way more in their weaves than their bodies (diet and working out). Take a look at pic below. The pic below is what I call TRUE Black beauty. No weave, no fake eyes. Natural and truly proud of BLACK beauty.