₦airaland Forum

what people re crazy!

I see the future Fichard is going

police hm they never cease to amaze me

hey ve u noticed constant light is this part of Yar Adua's work or is fluke or mistake?

@ Dis Guy
its not that hard u can try

lol re the prisons in Naija pimped up now do ve ve internet in there now so its possible that someone is in there viewing this site hmmmmm

@ migines
Kirikiri hey u re wicked oooo
@ tessybaby
dont ming him oo people dont even go there by mistake

i worry

nice one all flavours

stop stop stop re u guys not tired of this
listen it ll be cool only if the moderator can paste all the replies on the thread so u can see PLEASE enough of this people keep repeating words

@ Aiphie
u re the nuttiest nutty nut!

yeah yeah only if guys could drive normally

cant see anything

@talktoahmed
lol

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her family. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen and shouted, "Careful. CAREFUL! Have you put in butter? Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT NOW! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

cheapskate

@ soudmind
u re caught up in this ur mysterious tree so much that u dont even know when someone like Black Mamba is pulling your leg, take it easy ooo

this is to wish all the muslim brothers and sisters a woderful month of Holliness i pray that we all find it mandatory to take part of this wonderful religious practice.

tx

nice! proper word

@ Otuwe
let cal a spade a spade spit it out

so u mean there are capless dxxks out there

this wish thingywen will experience one, poor bear he can make do with the golden frog if its a male

A married man was having an affair
With his secretary.
One day they went to her place
and made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep
and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed
and told his lover to take his shoes
Outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied,
"I'm having an affair with my secretary.
We had sex all afternoon."
She looked down at his shoes and said:
"You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!"



The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters
but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant
and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery
to see his new son.
He was horrified
at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the
father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied:
"Not this time!"



The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,
about to be cremated,
and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part
he had ever seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician
commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated
with such an impressive private part.
It must be saved for posterity."
So, he removed it,
stuffed it into his briefcase,
and took it home
"I have something to show
you won't believe," he said to his wife,
opening his briefcase.
"My God!" the wife exclaimed,
"Schwartz is dead!"




The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover
when she heard her husband
opening the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him,
then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you,"
she said, " pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired
as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue," she replied,
"the Smiths bought one and I liked it
so I got one for us, too."
No more was said,
not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up,
went to the kitchen and returned
with a sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths
and nobody offered me a damned thing."



The 5th Affair

A man walked into a cafe,
went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir , that'll be one cent."
"One Cent?" the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked:
"How much for a nice juicy steak
and a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man.
"Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied:
"Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs
with your wife?"
The bartender replied:
"The same thing
I'm doing to his business down here."



The 6th Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly:
"I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to, " his wife replied.
"No," he insisted,
"I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend,
her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know," she replied,
" now just rest
and let the poison work."

if not that u re new i would have sent u back to the village poison ko decease ni look for the right thread and introduce yourself.

Men they know d smell even in thier sleep, heheheheheheh

hmmmm i mean hmmm here now as in hmmmm i dont know ooooo just kidding

@ kk
is u or Seun?
@migines
clem is always in a good mood

@KK
toobad i read ur annoying post first b4 the cool ones but this is really cool
i hail our rev father Seun

?

and fuming nostrils and her mouth spiting out fire raging on how confi he should be on the couch

oooooooooold boi! this is sad thats the old roosters strategy hmmm cool