₦airaland Forum

zomby:
Today is MLK day, how many of you munchies went out to join the African Americans to match and celebrate the day?
How many of you clearly understand what MLK stands for in African American history?
How many of you truly understand the African Americans’ struggle yesterday and today?

Instead of senselessly judging this group of people, we need to simmer down, be grateful and be thankful to the Africa Americans...Without the struggle of their forefathers most of you guys in America today wouldn’t have the opportunity to leave your shithole country/ your retarrded leaders and sit in front of your fat TVs in the United States of America.

You must be a new member of ADOS!

Lionessza6:
Ok,I get you .It's much safer campaigning on a faceless forum

Hey, Lionessza6 I know say your face ugly reach like that. ****SHAME*** in south African accent.

JaceBlaze:
South Africa doesn't need your dime,that's the point I'm trying to get across.

Yes they do otherwise they wouldn't be taking all those applications at the embassy and denying like 75% of them while keeping the money in their pockets in the name of "administrative fees"

cucumbar:
oh well, I’m quoting what a tour guide stated when I visited recently. That’s asides the interactions I had

How could I have forgotten this: I love your babes, with their huge backside . I’m still single and searching, maybe you could be of help here .

My friend leave that big nyash o if you no wan sick!

Lionessza6:
Can't you sponsor the initiative?. I think for years you have had these feelings and prophecies ,not that I care or think you're wrong or right, that's not the point but I find your passion and dedication to SA and its problems quiet fascinating for someone with nothing invested in the country.

you have been on this clearly futile campaign on nairaland,can't you take just a week off your busy schedule to actually be at the embassy ?. I think a week and a couple of volunteers that would help you spread the word would do a lot more good. It's just a suggestion though.

1. with the desperation of my country people to jump ship I will probably be mobbed at the embassy and beaten blue black. I love my life so that's one reason I haven't spear headed that option.

2. Southern Africa has always been interesting to me and South Africa in particular. The peculiarities of its history are intriguing to me in comparison to other regions in Africa hence the interest. I have also lived in several European countries and juxtapose this experience with that of my time in Southern African in general in terms of their over-riding influence on the region and its people in terms of their mindset.

PS , please don't think your people are special in anyway, tis just a past time of mine in addition to my interests in human genetics, African languages and anthropology in general.

Lionessza6:
It used to be what ,& when was this?.

in 2008

JaceBlaze:
South Africa doesn't need your naira to maintain its welfare system.

Obviously you are slow in mathematics. Try studying exponentials, will give you good insight into compounding of numbers. eh Mfethu!

ImaIma1:
Watch your step because you are just jumping up and down into conclusions.

You obviously did not understand my comment and decided to jump on it and give it your own meaning.

Did I say all ladies should marry rich guys? Men on this forum are so quick to defend struggling guys and condemn the rich ones. You guys get so touchy on this issue and are unable to process simple information.

Please try to process information well before attacking and making baseless conclusions and declarations.

Sorry to burst your bubble...I am married already . And guess what! He was not rich. But unlike you, I won't blame those who married wealthy guys. It's their choice and it's not a bad thing.

I understood your point clear and concise so don't try to divert or digress by stating the above.

Whether a guy is struggling or not, rich or poor, blind or able bodied, short or tall, you made the decision to marry him, marriage is not only about love, it is about commitment.

If you go into marriage on expectations then you have already signed your divorce papers before you even began that marriage.

zed7:
People don't change. You can only hide for a while. When you are carried away by love, you explain all faults away. Faults that are glaring to you suddenly don't become a big deal.
As usual, when the emotions wear off, we start claiming that the person has changed. People should learn to be sensitive, signs are always there. Also watch out for how your partner treats others. That's a very easy way to spot a pretender.

This is unfortunately the truth. Love blinds you to many signs that are there but you wave off.

godblessuyirich:
SIR I HAVE CONFRONTED HIM TIMES WITHOUT NUMBERS BY TELLING HIM MY MIND, BUT HE IS NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON COS HE IS NOT THE KIND OF PERSON THAT FEELS ASHAMED. I REPORTED TO ONE OF HIS CLOSED FRIEND ONE DAY AND THE MAN ASKED HIM COS HIS FRIEND SAID I WAS LIEING. HIS FRIEND WAS SHOCKED THAT HIS FRIEND HAS NOT BEEN TAKING CARE OF HIS RESPONSIBILITIES AT HOME ESPECIALLY THE RENT, MY HUBBY DID NOT SAY A WORD, THE FRIEND SHOUTED AND SHOUTED IN SHOCK AND TILL DATE HE DOES NOT SPEAK TO MY HUBBY AGAIN. IN ANGER AFTER SOME DAYS HE REPORTED TO THEIR MUTUAL FRIEND WHO IS AN ELDERLY LADY, THE WOMAN CALLED A SMALL MEETING JUST ME, HUBBY, HIS FRIEND AND THE LADY. THE LADY ASKED MY HUBBY SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT I TOLD HIS FRIEND COS SHE SAID SHE DOES NOT BELIEVE, SHE WANTS HIM TO DEFEND HIMSELF, MY HUBBY DID NOT SAY A WORD. RIGHT THERE THEY TOLD ME TO DIVORCE HIM. HE WAS SHOCKED. SIR ABOUT FINDING LOVE, IS NOT MY PRIORITY BUT A WISH, BUT I BELIEVE AND KNOW I WILL LIVE A GOOD LIFE VERY SOON COS I HAVE BEEN GOOD TO HIM BUT HE TREATED ME BADLY GOD ALMIGHTY WILL MAKE ALL MY DRAMS AND WISHES COME TRUE. I TRUST IN GOD. THANK U SIR FOR UR CONCERN

If all you say is the absolute truth, then you are wasting your time with someone who will not compromise with you or meet you half way.

The choice is yours to either stay or go. Good luck my dear.

ImaIma1:
Guys will not understand when ladies say they cannot marry a "broke" guy. They only align with ladies that want to "grow with" a struggling guy.

I pray everything turns out well for you.

So all the millions of ladies married to men who do not have the wear with all are all "mumu's" abi or they are just not as sharp as you.

Your kind should not get married at all cause its true essence has lost meaning in this generation where everyone is "living their best life"

I urge you all to remain baby mamas and single mothers make una no give man heart attack.

For those who stand in this sacred institution till the end, I tip my hats off to you. It is not easy to follow the path with the most resistance.

godblessuyirich:
MY DEAR I AM STILL IN IT OOO WITH A VERY BROKEN HEART COS OF MY KIDS. BUT PLANNING ON HOW TO CHANGE MY LIFE FOR GOOD. I HAVE TOLD MY GOD I MUST EXPERIENCE LOVE IN THIS MY LIFE TIME. NOTHING IS BETTER THAN LOVE. I DID ALL I DID FOR MY HUBBY COS OF LOVE BUT HE FEELS I AM A FOOL. I DONT WISH WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH ON EVEN THE PERSON THAT KILLED MY PRECIOUS MOTHER. I AM ALWAYS SAD, ALWAYS DAYDRAMING, FILLED WITH REGRETS AND WISHING I COULD TURN BACK THE HAND OF TIME

Have you confronted your husband to tell him that you feel like a fool for all these things you are complaining about. Most women behave exactly the same in most marriages. They harbor a lot of anger, resentment without expressing this to the man then one day they up and leave with the man bewildered about what just happened.

Financial problems after infidelity is the number 2 cause of marriage breakups. When a woman no longer sees the future potential of a spouse it begins to dawn on her and regret sets in as the hard wiring of females is to see men as providers, comforters and protectors. This your marriage my dear is conditional contract you are living. You say you want to find true love. If you leave your husband that is not guaranteed either. It could become worse or better of you. Is this a gamble you are willing to take? Remember, It takes two to tango and this problem is something that has two sides to the story. Reflect on yourself as well and see where your short comings emanate from, what past experiences are influencing your decisions and what kind of expectations you have.

Woman up, tell your husband your feelings, lay it all down and see where the chips may fall but again you are a woman my advice will fall on deaf ears and I am about 90% sure you will not do what I just said. You will stay because of the kids and continue to suffer in silence. Na una nature!

BlackSwan:
I don't think I will marry him again.
Ungrateful, selfish, stingy, argumentative, sex is all about himself, not caring at all. Just an all round negative person. Only thing he is good at is conversation and gisting, he can't do good for others without expecting something back.
I am 8 months pregnant and was vomiting and rolling on the floor yesterday and he heard from pallor where he was pressing phone, he didn't want to leave his precious Facebook and attend to me so he just sat there and did nothing. After like five minutes he brought our two years old baby to drop with me in the room and returned to the sitting room to continue pressing phone.

This is someone I have passed through all manner of inconvenience to make him comfortable, I spent all my savings from when I was working before marriage to furnish our house after we got married because he didn't have much. My parents sponsored everything about our marriage and all he did was show up and go home, they were even willing to pay for our flight ticket back home but as of today he doesn't talk to them or even call them, just cut them off th totally. They are the ones assisting me with money now that I don't have s job and am pregnant because he doesn't like to give. Last time I asked for money to buy new clothes he came from work that evening and started venting all his anger on me and saying very insulting words because he didn't like the idea of giving me money.
But his unemployed friend outside was receiving monthly stipend of 20000 from him before the guy got a job, his friend that was living with us for 6 months was receiving daily transport fare and recharge cards from him. While the only thing he gives me is market money and that is after he had complained that the money is too much.

I made a big mistake thinking if I started small with him and helped him grow he will appreciate me and treat me well. He is just a very ungrateful and entitled person.

Madam you and your husband need counselling asap. You have a lot of pent up anger and unresolved issue, better come to a finality in your marriage or else one day you will bust as most women end up doing.

Decide if you are ending this marriage or if this can be resolved. Do not live a half life or manage manage life, it will destroy you eventually.

if I could do it again unfortunately no I will not marry the same spouse again. Terrible way to feel but being very honest.

OneNigerianist:
calm down bro. you still sound hysterical

How can I sound hysterical when you can't hear my voice??

Guy shift left!

cucumbar:
How do you mean?

It is a beautiful country but its "soul" needs deliverance from all the past evils that are haunting the people that live there who use liquor, promiscuity, rape and violence to camouflage.

KLEINBASS:
. Tell them they must stay away from south africa the country is not good at all..

If I had time I will be at the embassy in Lagos with a bullhorn day in day out screaming it out loud !

kizonero:
Na wa o, this SA visa thing is indeed pain in the head. I am planning on touring SA this year as part of my travel history. But from what I have read so far, I am not encouraged with the way the processing stuff go.

Pls gurus in the house, which other African country do u think I should sub for SA. I have been to Ghana and Dubai. Just want to burst my travel history once more.


Thank u

Go to Zanzibar or Seychelles or Mauritius, forget South Africa, it is not what it used to be. You are just giving them free money to put into their economy so they can fund their welfare programs.

KenModi:
I would have to disagree with your third point.

This mentality of “children are a blessing” is one of the reasons for the high rate of almajiris and poverty in Nigeria. Children are a blessing, children are blessing....how una go dey born children wey una no fit take care of ennn?!!

You would see a family living in ‘face me, I face you’ house, yet they have three or maybe even four children or even more. No good furniture in their house, no good food on their table, no good clothes on their bodies, yet they keep giving birth like no tomorrow. And if you ask them why still having children, they would tell you that God would take care of them.

Born according to your means...don’t just put preek inside totoo and expect not to get pregnant. Use a condom, take ‘after morning pills’ whenever you guys finish fucking if you know you don’t want to conceive a child that would further stretch your budget and means of livelihood.

Nigerians make una dey born with sense abeg!!

The point that children are a blessing does not mean people should not practice planned parenting so don't lump the two together. This is not my point. There is no where in the poster's write up where she indicates that the husband is panicking about taking care of a fourth child so this is your personal opinion on the matter.

The birth of a child or the creation of a child is a blessing noting that a good number of people find it difficult having children. The poster did use preventive methods but this was not 1005 proof due to her removing it. The poster is more panicked at her mental health and her inability to have sex with her spouse so please focus on that and not on the point that she is having a child within wedlock and does not seem to be creating any financial anxieties for the couple.

khiaa:
It doesn't matter what they said it's all about their DNA, and they were, are and always will be African.

I don't agree with your above premise. It is true genetically speaking the ex slaves who landed in the West Africa i.e. Liberia and sierra leone were of African descent however their mind sets were very European-centric.

OneNigerianist:
throwing around abuses is logic to you?

The only abusive word used in my whole write up was "st.u.pidest". The rest is obviously too complex for you to decipher.


If you don't have anything to add to the subject matter I suggest you close that hole in your face.

OneNigerianist:
dude why are you unsettled?

What is unsettling about the response. Is the logic too difficult for you to decipher?

Timson01:
Hello NL,

Before I got married my husband said he needed 2 children while I wanted twins but our second pregnancy was twins so we had 3 instead. Then I took implant so to avoid getting pregnant again but my system became messed up that my monthly flow would last for 2 to 3 weeks.
So after 3 years I decided to remove it so to get back myself only for me to get pregnant instead and I found out when I was already 3 months gone and the pregnancy is causing me to be in so much pain that I can’t move at times making my husband do everything at home cause i’m always in bed
Now I discovered my husband is chatting another lady calling her babe and the rest although he assured me that he accepts this baby but I feel we are getting apart by the day.what do you suggest i do?
I can’t even have proper sex with him because my heart rate increases and I can’t move afterwards. Yes he was the one who took me to the hospital for removal we have been together for 11+years now
Just before I got pregnant I was having a lot of guys wooing me that my husband became very active in his affections towards me and it made me feel like I’m being courted again then this happened
The worst part is that I’m in physical pain. I can’t satisfy his desires. He even made me watch porn movies with him but I’m just too tired to respond to him. I have never been like this but I don’t know what to do
He has no parents as they pass away his senior brother just got married and always asks for marriage tips from us so saying this to him now I just can’t bring myself to do so.
Should I still keep the baby although I can’t bring myself to do anything to my child i just feel all this wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t get pregnant.

Anonymous NL Member

1.Your husband is flirting, confront him and tell him to stop it if he values your 11 year old marriage, sometimes men are silly like that and need to be jolted back into reality to realize what they have in a wife and 3 children.

2. Let your husband know you are having difficulty with sexual activity during pregnancy and try to compromise and adjust with him, this may be the reason he finds reason to be flirting.

3. Children are a blessing, sometimes we feel overwhelmed with the prospect of taking care of another child but it finds a way to work itself out if we stay positive an not over worry about it. The hardest part for children is usually the formative years by 4 to 5 years they are a little more independent and you are back to your normal life.

Babyvet:
Boy bye

You be real Baby!

Babyvet:
I disagree, the rift between the two parties is still very strong. I think we need to acknowledge that all we share is just a skin color and that’s it. Forcing unity would cause more problems.

We don't just share skin color. We share ancestry, descent, epigenetic DNA transfer, cultural similarities, oppression, discrimination.

We share a myriad of things in common and there is nothing wrong in aligning on those basis while keeping our identities intact.

You can see the impact of the year of return on a group of AA who are curious about reconnecting with the continent. There is nothing wrong in building bridges however there will always be a segment of the AA community that will disassociate from their roots, that's human nature.

Common Ikwerre man who is without a doubt of IGbo extract is denying his own ancestry talk less of AA who are separated by close to 500 years.

nlPoster:
all that fawning and kissing up to whites in Africa especially on NL that you people do

Its in your head my dear. If you see a Nigerian sucking up to a white man he is about to make him is MUGU!

DexterousOne:
Yea
That is something I noticed too.

A white supremacist is a white supremacist

#Period

And a n.igga is a n.igga in his eyes

Black African or Black America

It's the global supremacist game

I think the perception that Afrians suck up to whites is a skewed one full of misconception and born from the contempt AA have for Whites.

If you ask me Africans are simply acting as they always do towards Whites in and out of the Americas, as they do any other races of people in that they treat them without that preconceived notion of superiority or inferiority.

They do not carry the baggage of racism, jim crow etc as much as AA do.

1Sharon:
Oh God. Pls don't give me this, you're better than this.

Please explain why you thing this is a conspiracy theory. I am not saying all Africa's problems emanate because of the West, I am saying the west has no advantage in allowing African countries progress at an accelerated rate much like China did.

The Chinese isolated themselves during Mao's revolution, preventing the West from contaminating or heavily influencing their trajectory. The Chinese went through hell but they did it without the interventions of the West and they are the better for it. Africa on the other hand continues to be baby sat by the West.

Sorry if you don't understand this but it is a reality, from the IMF to WARs to the use of the Franc to neo colonization to the purported establishment of Africom to deliberate influence in democratic process to sponsorships of coups etc etc etc.

Pick your poison.

1Sharon:
I don't buy into your conspiracy on westerners trying to destabilize Africa.

.

The whole agenda of the west is to keep Africa destabilized so that they can come in exploit, has always been that way, will always be that way.

This is fact and is no where close to conspiracy.

1Sharon:
I don't need to go to know history.

Are you Liberian?

Doesn't the same thing happen in Nigeria? Arent ppl that try to shake things up accused of being self-hating and thinking they're better?
Africans are too insecure. Yet they want change.

Yes AAs too are self-destructive, but they're thinking is slightly better than Africans in the liberia situation.

The bolded simply shows how ignorant of what you know about the Liberian situation and the Americo-Liberians.

These individuals came in and isolated themselves from the other tribes around them because of there aristocratic attitude inherited from their former masters while in captivity. They exported this exploitative behavior and regarded the natives as heathens while they were uppty blacks who were here to show the natives the way.

They exploited the resources and used the natives as cheap labor, excluding them from politics and marginalized them from all political activity which caused the first coup that caused assasinations and blood shed in Liberia.

Charles taylor who is an Americo Liberian by descent is an example of the descendants of these AA's who continued to exploit the long standing exploitative relationship with the US and the Americo's to distablize that country. The official report was that he escaped from an American prison when in reality he was deployed by the CIA back to Africa as an ally to destabilize the country before he switched to Ghadaffi for arms and training to stage a revolt.

Please know your history before coming here and embarrassing yourself.

Liberia is a glaring example of how AA's pretty much messed up an entire opportunity to show what they were made of and you can't wipe that history away.

mroyato:
For clubbing activities, visit cubana if you want a familiar clubbing experience but trust me it isn't close to the Nigerian experience. There are also some local clubs that offers full Nigerian vibes but you may not be able to locate them.

Make him hold money for pocket if he reach cubana, those girls there sharpen eye well.

Cubana gives more of and African vibe than a naija vibe.

JaceBlaze:
If this wasn't a virtual interaction I would have afforded myself a pleasure to slap you across the face.You are too stupid to last in a textual discourse with me fool!

A short midget like yourself would struggle to reach my waist, don't waste your energy boy.