₦airaland Forum

owning a home should ONLY be a priority if A) this is what you desire for your life or B) you have the MEANS to afford the house you DESIRE, where you desire it.

so many clueless people buy cheap homes in RUBBISH area, just because they want to own a house... and in turn, they are miserable as soon as they set foot in. if buying a home isnt beneficial to you 110%, then you shouldnt dream of buying it.

tell us something we dont know

someone instructs you to pay via POS, you DIDNT but yet want to make your own rules as to how payment should be made?!
the security simply did the job he was instructed to do... not letting anyone (who hasnt made payment) in.
case closed!

anyone who would expect anything less than 1st class (or business if there isnt any 1st) for the immediate family of the president, is clearly not using their brains.

the man cannot be blamed for what is happening, but my question IS: why would he even want to settle with any member of this family of shameless h0es?!

why is there a foundation-like hole under the structure?!

did that NLer forgot to take her meds?

Mhizklefpixie:
Lwkm,what will b ur reaction?

i would be very surprised, because i thought most black men didnt eat coochie

so many failing such an easy question.... kai!

BellaSwan:
I won't say the parent in this case handed her kid over to a stranger. Most times, the parent may use an okada to drop of their kid in school. After a while, they may realise there's a particular okada driver who carries them to school. The parent on getting used to seeing that particular driver now designates him as the 'official' driver for the kid, thinking he can be trusted.

yes parents may use whatever they desire to take their kids to school, but it must be SAFE, and they need to know where their kids are AT ALL TIMES. how can a person disappear to a hotel 5 times with her 13yr old kid? if school finishes at 3, and it takes 20mins to get home, then you need to be calling home at 3:20 to make sure all is well with them.

Mayflowa:
You are really bad to say this! You don't need to have to give. Giving is love. I can't live in the midst of giftlessness. I either give or receive. This woman only receive Dickson and you criticize her!

If you don't see a self and egoistic tendencies from the man as she as explained, clearly, you have an issues

NONSENSE!!!
you should DESERVE a gift before you dream/hope of getting one. women who foolishly think that being in a r/ship means you deserve a gift, are MAD!!!! only your actions AND the will of that man will dictate if you deserve a gift.

let me educate you further on the issue: people who give out of their heart kindness DONT ask for a receipt OR that the person should return the favour to them... they do so because thats what they believe is RIGHT to do (they believe that person DESERVES it). all you brokeass begging women, who are quick to say that you give your hard earn cash away, are a bunch of liars. ANY person who thinks that giving (for no reason whatsoever) is a must, is clearly lacking some sense. each and everyone has the right to DECIDE where their hard earned cash is going.... your life, your priorities, YOUR CHOICE! any deluded person (man or woman) who think otherwise is clearly living in La La Land!

- if a woman "claims" she has money and a good life, then she doesnt need cheap tfare handouts from her man. in my world, thats an insult. FACT!
- if a woman "claims" she has money and a good life, then she doesnt need her man to pay for her hair, and she needs to answer the important question: HOW WAS SHE MANAGING HER HAIR BEFORE SHE MET HIM?

to be stingy (towards beggars) is NOT a crime, its a DUTY!

@sista tearoses
his dark mood should have been a hint that not all is as "great" as the OP thinks, in this man's life. she sees oil company worker and automatically wrongly assumes that he is a cheerful giver, and that life is fantastic. if she had any sense of care then she should have tried to UNDERSTAND what was wrong (aka the source) instead of coming here and talk about the handouts/gifts she didnt get. SEX is a stress reliever, we all know that, it helps relax and let go of the worries.

imagine a man having lots of stress at work, finding it HARD to make ends meet, struggling with money, due to whatever reason... and then when it is time to relax, he goes home and find this woman (who "supposedly" makes her own money) biatching about hairdos and tfare handouts. this type of woman dont see below the surface... when he says he doesnt have it, she doesnt try to know/ask why. the man says he is BROKE, why should she even doubt that?! for her, its all about OIL COMPANY. are you "all" claiming that oil company workers cant be broke now?!

you DONT need extra money to show care... go have a walk on the beach hand in hand, et voila! if any woman place the value of her man on handouts (however small) then this woman has failed miserably in that particular r/ship!

a man can only buy a bday gift that he can afford, and if he knws that his ladyfriend is hell bent on fancy gifts, then its best keeping your money. since when did dating turned to monetary gifts and handouts?! let a partner be judged for his CHARACTER, and nothing else.
you dont have to spend money on your gf to show LOVE, CARE or AFFECTION. fact!

as much as the OP is right on many things, one of the issue he fails to understand is that many are failing in the west because they want to burn bridges. but people have to understand a few things:

A) to have any remote chance of succeeding you need EDUCATION/SKILLS and the proper status, aka a WORKING VISA. with proper education/skills and a genuine working visa, it isnt difficult to find employment anywhere in the world, and have a simple life (like the majority of people)... but even with that, you are not assured to get a job right away. unemployment is rampant all over the world...so what will you do until you get a job? you need to have some savings before coming to the west, in order not to desperately fall into the wrong hands.

B) sadly, the majority of Africans heading in the west dont want to live like the masses, their heads been filled with dreams of RICHES and success stories, where they become the new Bill Gate. so when they arrive in the west and understand that the majority of people have a car/house and good standards, BUT everything is on credit (aka you have to WORK hard), they are disappointed... because in their foolish minds, making money in the west can only be EASY!!!!

C) instead of accepting such simple life (like many), which is better than what they had in Africa, a few turn to crime etc because they cant BE HONEST and possibly show their families back home that they are struggling like the masses. how dare they should be middle class in the west?! it is a "get RICH or NOTHING" attitude for them! if they cant, they will settle for menial job, then use the little they have saved (or get a loan) to go back home and flaunt wealth they HAVENT got, so that clueless people in Africa will say that he has succeeded in the west... thus continuing the vicious circle where ignorant people back home will now dream of "also" going abroad to MAKE IT!

let us put some of the blame on BAD PARENTING as well. in this day an age, nobody should hand their kids over to stranger for grooming "outings".

Tolany25:
Hi Nairalanders, please can any matured and reasonable person help me on how to spend my money. I wish to run a business but I don't like to venture my money into a big business ofcos I don't think I can manage any big business for now. I just need something I can be doing and that will be fetching me at least little money everyday...I had so much money in about two to three months back, that even one of my banks blocked my account. Here is the message I got from the bank: Dear customer, you have exceeded the deposit limit on your account. Visit a branch with any means of ID. I decided to start helping families that needs help with the money, I invested some, I paid people's school fees and now what's next? I don't want the kind of business that people will be using rich man pikin eye look me...I just want it on a low-key. I thought of frying akara, plantain andd dun-dun every night by the junction of my house but I got discourage that only witches do such thing...now I'm fed up and I don't know what to do...please give me ideas please!
Mods please help me move this to the front page, I need quick response from people before it's late. Thanks

10 days ago, you were an expert on running businesses in Nigeria, yet today you need business ideas?!
https://www.nairaland.com/3035729/very-important

2 to 3 months ago, you couldnt even afford the rent for your OWN place, and was looking for people to share house with... and suddenly now you are a good samaritain spreading cash?! ok!!!!
https://www.nairaland.com/2890423/need-flat-mate-somebody-flat

a month ago, you were a pseudo lesbian looking for matured men to impregnate you in the following thread: https://www.nairaland.com/2974127/need-matured-man-needs-baby...strictly

what is your next BS story?!??!

vbiye:
I really want to reply every point you think you have made here but on second thoughts i dont have to prove anything to you. I am just sorry for you that came from a family where giving your younger ones financial aid when they need it makes them beggars, glad to tell you am not from such and i have a younger one who can testify to that.

it is PARENTS responsibility to cater for their children's needs, and not "elder brothers". if an elder brother can help once in a while then fair enough, but if you expect him to settle you every months while he clearly says he AINT got the money, then yes thats begging, and he has the RIGHT to complain endlessly about it.... as if being elder means you CANT be broke?! NONSENSE

stop trying to shift the issue here, and you shouldnt even have opened this thread, since you make your own money... "supposedly".... as we can clearly see that spending on small things such as Tfare and recharge card is an issue for you.

vbiye:
Dear Nairalanders, I need advice, i have been dating this guy for a couple of months now, initially i really liked him but now that i have been spending time with him, his attitude puts me off.

his attitude OR reluctance to bankroll your life?!

He is the kind of guy that believes a woman should take care of herself and all her needs, this is not really a problem for me because i work and earn a good salary,

if it REALLY wasnt a problem then why open a thread biatching about what he hasnt paid for you?! the issue IS the money that he aint willing to spend on you, YES!

but i have come to notice that he is always complaining of being broke, it's annoying because i know he works with a good oil company,

this above is the goldigging clueless mentality that believes that anyone who works in an oil company must be swimming in cash

he complains endlessly when his Siblings ask him for money, if i tell him its normal that i used to ask my elders ones for money when i was in school he gets angry and says i never take sides with him on any issue,

NEWSFLASH: just because you were begging your elders for cash, doesnt mean they werent "complaining endlessly", just like this man. typical of beggars to only see their side of the story and expect people to provide for their needs, at all costs

whenever we are together he is either complaining of being broke, or being angry because his colleagues provoked him at work

working in an oil company can be a stressful job

or he is hassling me for sex and he never takes no for an answer.

thats because he shouldnt even ask

The only time i asked him for money to make my hair he told me other women carry one hairstyle for 3 months that i should start carrying my own like that too and he didn't give me anything.

he was RIGHT, and he should also have asked you how you managed to do your hair before you met him.

on my last birthday he said the country's economy is so bad and so he could not afford a birthday gift for me.

as much as he is right about the economy, we can all confirm that you are focus on money, thus i doubt you would have accepted flowers (probably the reason he didnt waste his small change to buy any)

He always complains that i don't call him everyday but he has never recharged my phone,

so your man MUST recharge your phone before you can lift your fingers and call him?! BWAAAAAAH you are amazing! no wonder this guy guard his money against you like the CBN.

to make matters worse he is always asking me to borrow him money to fuel his car whereas he has never given me as much as 1k for tfare when i visit him. My question is this his attitude normal with guy's.

"borrowed" money to fuel the car will be reimbursed so no big deal, but its different than "giving" T-fare, which we know you have NO INTENTION of paying him back.

sadly, such attitude is needed with a certain type of women.... abeg, give me that guy's contact, i need to buy him a well deserved DRINK!

how is getting nekkid gonna solve anything? its only gonna make a laughing stock out of her...

softcara:
God bless u...I dont even know Wat to say again....i feel dey cn contact the lady and ask all dis questns cos I don't knw wat else to type..honestly....am jst trying to help so she doesn't end up in d street again. Pple who contact could tell the weight of wat is go on....i cant ans all nairalands questns....

how can people contact her and confirm the story, if the email given is yours?!

softcara:
My email ladycara24@yahoomail.com

layla129:
Easy now. I think only the victim alone can answer all these questions you're asking

the victim is the OP's friend "since they were young" yet doesnt know the details?! he/she is even willing to put up money for her, therefore he should know and give people all the important details, or ask her these questions since she has no access to NL.

the whole story makes no damn sense. is the father violent or they just want her to leave? and why only in Surulere, couldnt Ijebu Ode be a safe place for her too?! who asks for help but dictate where that help should come from?

softcara:
The dad is frustrating her, her mum wants her to get a place to stay...her sisters are also squating with other pple...everybody sort themselves out. Do u understand

pls stop beating around the bushes and speak concretely about the issues...
- what are these "frustrations" you are talking about?
- if these frustrations were "that" bad, to the point that she decided to leave, then why did she go back there?
- or better yet, why did this "supposedly" evil dad accepted her back?
- since this lady is broke, how will she feed herself, transport or care for her daily needs while squatting?
- what are her life plans apart from squatting at other people's place?
- all the other GROWN UP children of the family are squatting with other people!?!?!?!?!?

Emexicoman:
I have been dating this gal for almost a year now, and I must tell u she is the best thing that has ever happened to me relationship wise. Everything about her is just awesome...minus her height but I didn't mind. I have loved her the best a guy could love a gal, and she has always responded even greater. So early this year I decided to make her my life partner cos she's also from my community, I told my mum about her and she said she'll check her background. She did and gave me the nod. Then I told her I want to wife her........ She said she's OK with it but I should give her time to pray over it I said fine. She's 24 and I'm 28 we are both ssce cert but I'm making a good living (I earn about 80k monthly). I told her my mum wants to meet her by first week of may.....na dia issues start, she told me I should wait for her for another 2yrs to get her ND I said no. Let's marry I'll start u a business and from there after two kids u would start a part time with the open University. Or any part time program... Currently we both have not reached any compromise and she has been crying on phone since Friday.... Pls what should I do? . Ur advice is important to me right now
Thanks

its called communication, and sadly you guys are clueless and selfish.
- why cant you guys get married and let her to do her OND then? where is the rush?
- why would you even think that she wants you to start a business for her?
- what kind of proper business can a married man, earning 80K monthly, with an unemployed wife can start?
- when did you even talk about having 2 kids with this lady? obviously she is unaware of the plans in your head
- why dont you think of HER for a sec, instead of only thinking of yourself and plans?

such breast will be disgusting outside the bra. they will reach her damn knees. DISGUSTING!

PS this lady should actually spend her money on bra that fits her breast as these are definitely NOT right.

i am gonna talk about lesbians in Africa, as there are ALWAYS been lesbians (and gays) in the west. let us be honest here, there are many reasons why there is sudden surge in lesbianism in Africa...

1) there was always lesbians (and gays) in Nigeria, anyone believing otherwise is a damn fool... but back in the days it was "taboo" and viewed as evil practices so these people had to suppress their homosexual impulses and pretend to be straight, while daydream about lesbian/gay sex. today its a bit more "acceptable" in Nigeria and therefore many are openly flaunting it... but its only with the younger generation. ask yourself, why you dont hear about OLDER gay/lesbian Nigerians? do you really believe there are NONE? or is it that the way they were brought up in Nigeria makes it impossible for them to come out the closet?

2) many African men FOOLISHLY dont suck coochie while we all know that the act makes some women lose their damn minds (sometimes it is the difference between good and bad sex)... so guess what? if men dont want to suck coochies, then these women will turn to each other and thus find fantastic pleasures. pleasures that it is OUR duty to give them. so lesbianism will bring pleasure to these women that the good part of African men are UNABLE UNWILLING to provide.

3) the African mindset is AGAINST women, they arent treated as equal, and no matter how successful a woman is, she must remain under a man (and married to one) in order to be respected in the community. so again, who can treat these women as EQUAL, if not other women?

4) we all know what women desire (aka care/affection/kindness etc) but African men see such practices as showing weakness in a union, and therefore you RARELY see African men being affectionate to their partner. women will show such affection/kindness towards other women naturally (because they know themselves and their desires).

softcara:
The other 2 are grown ups and hav left to sort out tinz for demselves....she is 20...years still young....her mum cnt do anythng....she cnt leave her husband and she advise she lives because it's killing the lady...she has attempted poison on several occassions....I would have love her to explain in details...but her fone cnt browse...but from all I know since we were young...dis girl has been suffering....u could meet her physically and see tinz yesterday

so the father wants her out, the mother too... and even her own 2 sisters dont want to help her with a place to stay?!

these are the people that should be met before taking on this gal, so that all the facts are on the table.

people are now becoming BRAINWASHED SHEEP that cant even use their brains any longer... what a damn shame!

agoadiv:
why would a girl say no after showing u all the green light u needed to woo her??
my latest experience.

there's this girl I like, after getting her number n started chatting, we never had a boring moment, we chat n chat about everything, we tell ourselves we love each other, we got to know everything about each other on our finger tips, she even wait for me to go watch champions league n cum back b4 we start chatting, I fell inlove with her seriously so I dropped the bomb shell and all I got was 'AM NOT READY TO DATE' reply.. mehn I got mad, how can she be calling, be texting, be saying she loves me playfully n all those n still gives me a rust head reply

any idea why girls r this unpredictable?

- how long has this "back and forth chit chat" has been going on?
- how often have you guys hang out and spend REAL time together?
- could it be that she only has time for this phone/online chit chat fun?
- are you saying that if someone likes you, they MUST date you at all cost, regardless of what may be happening in their lives?

you tried to be greedy, went too fast and got burned by this stranger.

justmine:
Men are the major people who cheat, but for them they expect the ladies just to take it normal when caught which is not fair at all.

from the above it is clear that you dont know what you are talking about, especially when THE WIFE was the one cheating here.

justmenoni:
I'm sure you're a child from a failed relationship so please keep your trash to yourself and like I said earlier your beliefe is yours while my belief is my opinion..I won't force mine on you or anyone same way like you shouldn't do your's as well and stop advocating for what wil cause potential issues for families.

BWAAAAAH what a confused sheep. so we (i and anyone thinking like i do) should keep our beliefs to ourselves but we should stop advocating for our belief, because "you" dont like it?!?!?!?!?! what kind of deluded NONSENSE is this? you have NO RIGHTS to demand that anyone should stop advocating for what THEY believe in, NONE WHATSOEVER! keep your narrow minded religious beliefs to yourself, and let other do (and advocate for) what the hell they desire for their lives (so long as it aint against the law).

here is a clue: next time you see a thread like this one (about people who obviously dont give a damn about your marriage beliefs), stay away from such thread!

ideology:
What will be cut off women who rape men and young boys

well said!
pedophilia is not gender based, even though many here think that only men can be pedos.

freeze001:
Would you rather the head be cut off then? Since there's a distinction as to the location of the illness? I'll have u know that men generally regard that region higher than the cerebral area and any threat to the nether regions generally make them comport themselves.

it all depends on what your AIM is, if you remotely want to solve the problem at hand, then cutting their dikc will do none of that. but then again, if it makes y'all feel better then fair enough... the problem is in THEIR HEADS, so unless you fix the problem at its source, these people will keep doing their evil deeds.

remember there are 2 important issues here, therefore there should be 2 ways to deal with this issue: A) the adult who is attracted to children (but dont act on their impulses) should get therapy, B) the adult who decide to molest/rape a child (or anyone else for that matter) should get life emprisonment or the death penalty.

i am sorry to say that... if THIS is their best then it is NOT good enough. lets stop celebrate mediocrity as this above nonsense has nothing to be proud of.... the local mechanic can do this type of crap. they couldnt even get the body work to be straight, the panel beater must have been drunk when doing this eyesore.
whats innovative about this ugly looking rubbish?! how will this crap help Nigeria. it looks like it was made by pre school children, and remind me of one of their cartoon cars.

even Ugandans university students are doing a HELL of a better job, check their electric car: