₦airaland Forum

Netmuch:
Hi fellow nairalanders,

I and my fiance were both bankers, I brought her in town and God used me for her to secure a job.

Where I used to stay was a bit further to our work place, so their is another banker guy who has a CR-V Honda car that usually drops her in the morning at her office whom she later became close friends with, although dey do call themselves whenever the guy is about leaving his house to pick up my fiancee, which I was aware of.

However, suddenly I realized that my fiancee WhatsApp chat is always cleared not to let me see their chats which I suspected a foul play, but the worst came last week when I was trying to get my car engine oil and I was approaching her, she was calling the guy, as I near her to eavesdrop on what she was talking with the guy, she quickly ends the call. I got angry that why will she not let me hear their conversations if truly she has nothing to do with the guy. I challenged her but she insisted nothing was going on between them that she had to end the call on my arrival which she has always call in my presence.

I don't want to be a fool as am about to end the relationship, but I guess I need your honest and positive response on this matter why she had to do what she did. I am a very simple guy and I believe every one should have their freedom. And I don't cheat.

I will love to hear your mature opinion on this.

Thanks.

Three things are involved here;
1. It's either she's already cheated on you fully (both emotionally and sexually).

2. Or she's only just cheated on you emotionally.

3. Or she's probably keeping the guy as a backup plan, because she thinks you are not committed enough in the relationship.

The second case is pretty obvious, if not, why would she be hiding their conversations from you. Emotional infidelity usually preceds sexual infidelity.

Conclusion:
If they continue with whatever they have between each other, it will eventually lead to sexual infidelity sooner or later (if that hasn't happened already).

My advice:
1. Tell her clearly and calmly that you are not comfortable with her closeness with the other guy.
2. Take her less serious (I can see you already called your "fiancee", until she takes you serious by INTENTIONALLY breaking that closeness with the guy.

DryMouth:
Correct.
This is my number 1 reason.

I can't carry anybody's problem. Lemme tell you, pvssies are littered everywhere on the streets of lagos especially pvssies of smallies(under 20) and the most exciting thing is that it cost almost nothing to get.

Why will i now tie myself down with responsibilities of another person that offers only that same pvssy?
It's lame getting married these days.

Brutal reality

Francisanointed:
Pardon my grammatical errors
A lot of people who regretted getting married to their spouse can attest to the fact that they saw the "red flags" but they insist on continuing the relationship and getting married.
Why do people do this ? Married men/women, single ladies/guys,what make/made you to think of marriage even after the red flags
A girl continues a relationship or marry a guy that beats her often,cheats on her unrepentantly,abuse her and disrespects her.
A guy continues a relationship where he sees the girl cheats,lies and disrespect him. Sometimes you know there are things you can't naturally tolerate but you tolerate them in relationship and eventually when you get married,you want those things you tolerated in your marriage to stop. That is impossible!
I know you can't marry someone that is 80 percent a version of you. But you must know what you can cope with

Why do people get married with someone they saw "red flags" ?

A relationship without "red flag(s)" does not exist. It's just a matter of choosing between the ones you can tolerate and the ones you can't, and how the virtues your partner possesses complement his/her vices (or red flags).

If you are married (or in a love relationship) and there is/are no red flags, kindly enlighten us how you went about it.

chronique:
Lol. One thing I have found out during this short war is that while some European countries have been trying to apply diplomatic solutions to this conflict, UK and US have been largely stoking the fire and doing and saying everything to ignite and complicate the whole thing. I'm beginning to think they purposely stoked the fire of this conflict, to get at Russia and Putin especially. There's something we probably don't know yet but would eventually come out someday.

To buttress your point, US and Uk are also using the opportunity to test their advance weapons in Ukraine, by sending it there for the Ukrainians to use against Russia-which is also an opportunity to test or weaken Russia's military strength.

Buyer: Good morning snake farmer, how much is that huge Cobra?

Snake farmer: it goes for ₦8,000.

Buyer: how about I pick it up for ₦6,000?

Snake farmer: I can only sell it for ₦6,500.

Buyer: Ok, I will buy it at ₦6,500.

Buyer pays, then...

Snake farmer: Oga, You can now go inside the cage and pick up your snake.

Buyer: No o, you mean I will be the one to go into that cage full of snakes to pick it up?

Snake farmer: of course, aren't you the one who wanted to buy a snake, Oga, go and meet your snake, as you can see it's waiting anxiously to meet its new owner.

MamiTer:
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.

I don't think you are matured enough for a relationship, it seems you are still in the trial-and-error phase that most girls of this generation go through.

My advice:
You don't need to rush into any relationship (forget about peer pressure), take some time off, like a year to heal off from your past relationships and figure out what you really want in a life partner. If you don't, you will keep falling into wrong hands, thereby increasing your body counts without achieving your goals and that might really affect your self-esteem.

A confused individual is very easy to manipulate and exploit.

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Totilopussylick:
He's a real n**ga

See pump action

pyyxxaro:
Wow that’s interesting


I just showed these pics to my Landlord, immediately he knelt down and started crying ... Immediately he requested for my account number , he transferred my 2years rent back to me

Told me he has 4 daughters, said I should choose anyone I like




Sai Baba

;DLol

vastolord4:
If this is true, then it's confirmed that Donald is a big comedian.. how can an ex presido of a Nation troll the current presido of the same country.. Donald na pure nut case

If he's not careful, the CIA will deal with him.

SugarPapi:
So... I'm 39/m, married with 3 beautiful kids. Wife and kids are abroad, while I'm gainfully employed here in Nigeria. This is my story -

I've always been a chilled introverted guy with almost zero worries. I'm committed to my work and my work is also committed to me, at least, I'm able to send a healthy amount to my wife and kids in the Queen's country, every month. As a 'Manchelor', this is my daily schedule - wake up, go to work, close late, get home, play PS, skype the fam, sleep, rinse and repeat.

I seldom have time for social media, but once in a while, I log into Facebook and IG to catchup with friends. This was the beginning of my dilemma.

December of last year, I was scrolling on my timeline when I got a notif. Someone had liked my picture. I clicked through her profile and saw this young pretty girl. Honestly, I did not exactly fancy her at first, but I reciprocated the like on one of her pictures and logged of to bed.

When I woke the next morning, she had followed me. I followed back and thanked her for the follow in her dms.

This damsel was around 6ft, pretty, fair and easy on the eyes. She did not have any revealing or tight fitting clothes on her profile so at the beginning, I could not exactly place her physique.

We started chatting that day and as satan will have it, one day, I got leave from work. It was an unfateful Friday so I invited her to a day out at The Palms. We ate , watched a movie then when I wanted to book a ride for her back home, she said she'd like to know my house.

Tbh, I thought this was quite forward and voiced it. I love my Wife dearly. I love my children as well. I would never do anything to deliberately hurt them so I turned down her offer and booked the ride. She stays at Yaba, I at LP1.

She entered her ride and I did not contact her again.

Well, hello next morning!

Her WhatsApp call woke me up. It was a Saturday so I was at home. We spoke at length, she thanked me for the previous day and told me to at least allow her pay me back. "This girl sef!" I thought to myself.

We got to know each other better across the phone in that singular call and I felt it in my soul that she was a genuine one... not an 'InMessage' girl. She was a student at UNILAG in her 300l, studying Accounting. She was a really homely girl, light spoken and very respectful.

It was not yet mid-day when her cab to my house was 10 minutes away.

She came in, looking like a queen. Jeeez! Remembering that day sends shivers down my spine. Thankfully, I leave in a building all to myself so there no prying eyes to call Mama omo SugarPapi in faraway Ireland. My security guy opened for them, she alighted and paid the cab herself. WAWU!

She came and hugged me, we held hands as I pulled her in. She had not fully entered my house when I swept her off her feet, our lips crushed together in intense canoodle. Her tongue was probing inside my mouth as mine hers. Before I could process what was happening, she went on her knees and I felt my soul leave my body.

By this time, I had still not seen her body, so I led her to my guest room and my God!

Brief history... before this day, I had always considered myself an 'ass guy'. Actually, the few guys I consider friends know me as an ass guy. I loved huge melons but 'the behind' gets me most of the time.

Dear NLers, this girl's bossoms where neither ginormous nor small. They were just the perfect size and they stood! My God they stood! Firmly in my face, begging, begging to be...

I'm a 39yo guy and I confess that I have never experienced sex like that till that day! She was so sensual, so soft, no rush, no wrong. She mounted and rode me that day till I came. It has never ever happened before... not even with my partner and my she can f*ck!

It took every fiber of my being not to cry like a child as she rode me with ease and finesse. It was not that type of riding where the girl tries to burst your kidneys or emasculate you. It was focused on just my shaft and its cap. At some point, I was afraid I will pass out.

I had to quickly pull her off me before I pass out.

We ordered some take out, went at it three more times and around 8pm she was on a ride home. I told her to send me her account for me to send her something for the weekend. She out rightly refused and also refused me paying for her transport. WTH?! Abi na mami water tins?

Well it's been three months now and I can't seem to let her go. I have never experienced sex the way she does it. I confess that I may be catching actual feelings for her. I see myself jealous when she receives a call from her male counterparts, she once showed me a video she made with her ex. I was so angry. When she noticed my demeanour, she came, sat on my naked groin and whispered in my ears - "he is in the past, THE PAST".

I have to come voice out my predicament because she is now taking space in my heart. I can't do this to my family.

Guys, how do I 'divorce' this girl?

Hmmm... Chidinma comes to mind.

benuejosh:
If there's no wheat then we have an alternative. We can use Cassava. It will also boost our local production. Our local farmers from the North will make more money.

That's if the killer Fulani herdsmen allow them to farm peacefully.

Russia, USA, North Korea and Iran all want the same thing, that is, to be the world power. Their coexistence in the world brings balance to the world's power ecosystem.
If one or two amongst these aforementioned nations are taken out of the equation, it will only embolden the others.

In as much as I like the USA, I know one thing for certain, that if any of its archrival e.g, Russia is weakened militarily, USA will become a bigger monster. Hence the popular saying that "absolute power corrupts".

Goodvibes8:
My girlfriend is a Banker at GTB (not a contract staff). I just love her unconditionally. I thought she was different from other ladies. My girlfriend is cheating on me with an elderly ugly man.

She switched off her phone for 2 days, since on Tuesday. The first day I noticed, I was scared for her safety because she don't behave like that.

I called her very close friend and she said she haven't heard from her too but I shouldn't worry that she's fine.

Then I knew something was fishy. I live in Ogun state, so I went to Lagos early this morning as at 4:45am hoping to see her at home before she go to work.

When I got to her house, I saw her neighbor (she haven't seen me before else she would have lied to me as well) so I asked after my girlfriend and she said she has not been around since on Sunday.

In my mind, I was like since Sunday? Well, I know since last week, she has been acting strange. I noticed she's always quick to discharge me whenever we're on call.

I just went straight to her office at ikeja. I met with a security man and i asked if miss Lydia (not her real name) has come to office this morning? He said no but she will soon come afterall work starts by 8am and it's just 7am.

I just sat inside my car looking angry and curious. As at 7:25am, a car dropped her. I came down from my car immediately to approach her.

I was like so this is the ugly slowpoke you have been staying with since on Sunday that made you switched off your phone abi? She even have guts to ask what am I doing in Lag?

This is a girl I have never cheated on her before. Despite I am good looking, dark and tall with a good physique.

I don't know what to do. I'm heart broken . She hasn't even call me till now. This is a girl I have sacrificed a lot for.

Now that you have found out who she truly is, you should be grateful to God that you haven't married her. Do the right thing by moving on, any attempt to entertain her calls or explanation will leave you open to her manipulations.

Cheating is a habit that's very difficult to break, do not allow her back, unless you are prepared for more heartbreaks.

Ricky97:
Guys checkout how updated you are with some world's famous people.

Abraham Lincoln
Cassius Clay (A.K.A Muhammed Ali)
Bob Marley
Adolph Hitler
Mother Theresa
Leo Tolstoy
Napoleon
Bruce Lee
John Lennon
Paul McCartney
George Harrison
Mahatma Gandhi
Michael Jordan
Dalal Lama
Michael Jackson
Ernesto De la Sena (A.K.A Che Guevara)
Nelson Mandela
Elvis Presley
Princess Diana
Buddha

dawnomike:
Double wahala for dead body... Kyari's village people have just woken up from their slumber
From future IGP in the making to a Fugitive.

This one Don pass fugitive o, na jailbird.

There's a wise saying that goes thus; "To sensible men, everyday is a day of reckoning". So, the phone numbers of the next of kin that each of them dropped were unreachable. They contributed to their own misfortune.

Stedygrowth:
Op, what you're going through is normal. The response you're experiencing is completely biological in nature, remember, you have not met her before. She, being your cousin's sister, does not in any way, stop from being a woman she is. The problem here is that, there is no conditioning between you two that establish the fact that you guys are sisters, as such, there is a clear prediction that if you have opportunity, you will make love to her.
Based on the above submission, I will suggest you help her find a place to stay. Even if she changes the way she dresses from now on, it will not still change anything, because you have been conditioned already. Until you will not rest. So, to be on the safe side, find a place for her as quickly as possible.
This does not require discipline, it require removing or staying away from the source of the stimulus. If you keep staying, you will do it one day.

@Op: this is the best advice. I also like the fact that this advice is not characterised by hypocrisy.

Ohibenemma:
I guess Man Utd needs to sue some people to court over their constant harrassing moves to create issues within their camp.

I see the hand of their rivals in all of this, cos this matter done dey be like Lai Mohammed in his hey days as party spokesman, always looking for truths, half truths and outright lies to spread and promote disquiet in the camp of the then ruling party...

The English sport media has become very powerful and influential in the world of football, and they are fed up with the rubbish the current Man utd captain, Harry Maguire is playing, that's why they're putting him against CR7 so that fans will hate him (Maguire) more.

God bless the waiter, thunder fire the Op. In Jesus' name, Amen

Nedangel:
So this girl ( 15 years) was brought to my house by my wife after my wife gave birth a year after. My wife said she really needs someone to help her, but I kicked against it. After much pestering from my wife, I agreed.

I sooo much have feelings for this girl.
I have fought it so much. Some times my wife is out/ travels and am alone with her and kid when am back from work. But this strong feeling comes up and I feel like having her. Most times I find my self thinking about this girl. It's to the point that my chest pains me.. When I ask my wife for s*x, Most times & always she says she's tired.

Please it's really affecting me, it's eating me up. I need suggestions/ advice from my well meaning Nairalanders. Thanks allot.

You know the solution already; send the girl away by all means, don't destroy your marriage.

seunsiju:
Even though she always warn me to be using condom, but i like it raw and sweet, couple of weeks ago, she is feeling sick and tired, and i sent her money for checkup, the news break my heart, the test shows she is three weeks pregnant! i want to denied the pregnancy based on say i read her chats on Whatsapp cheating and having sex with another guy, but deep down i know i responsible for this cos the date tally with the time we had last sex....we have agreed to abortion, but am scared it might go wrong.

Pls advice me
Should i denied that i owned the pregnancy, cos i can back my claim up cos she cheated during that periosd or should we go for the abortion.

Pls am not ready to be a father to another kid!!! Help a depressed brother

Congratulations! daddy junior, 8.4megawatt impregnator machine, you are now a daddy. Lol

SalisuJasper:
When you quit smoking weed, what can one actually use to replace the habit.

So u will be so busy that you wont have time to think of smoking again

Dynamite smoking

Mineralzz:
Hello everyone.
Am an active member on this forum, I've have my main account but I wish to remain anonymous, i just want to hide my identity and i will deactivate this account as soon as I get a solution. I'm so heartbroken right now

I thought my fiancée was different from every other guys, despite his gentle and innocent face I never knew he was a liar and a cheat

He's fond of connecting his laptop to his smart TV (65 inches). What displays on the laptop automatically displays on the smart TV screen. See what happened, he went downstairs to pickup something, So I wanted to see a movie on Netflix, while I was looking for a suitable movie to watch, a message popped up from Facebook and it stated "Whr are U? Check ur phone...6 missed calls "

At first, I wasn't triggered to open the msg but what drew my attention was the "cry emoji". When I opened the msg my heart melted, I was crying . Their secret affair has been going on since April last year. A married woman with 2 kids, I checked her profile I saw her kids and husband photos everywhere, she has visited my fiance at home several times, I saw lot of romantic messages.

I videoed their chat conversations as evidence, thank goodness his TV screen is wide enough for the blind to see. The moment he came inside he noticed my mood has changed, he was smart enough to know I opened his msg. He's started begging me, he said he can explain. Explain what?

Am on my way home now feeling devastated, heartbroken and sad . I plan to upload the video on Facebook and tag all the woman's friends until her husband sees it. I will also send the video to instablog, Linda ikeji.. Honestly I feel dejected and heartbroken. Help I don't know what to do .

A broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage.

Omicron007:
The phonebook or contact list of a phone contains names or nicks of family, friends, loved ones or business clients.

However, taking a glance through someone's contact list can make someone laugh based on the names used to store the contacts.

I have seen funny names in phones such as 'Shawarma Guy', 'Urgent 2K', 'Amadioha' etc.


What is the weirdest name you have used to save someone's contact?

Judas - because the guy once betrayed me.

USA, Russia, China and North-korea all want the same thing; to be world power. The question is; do China and Russia trust each other enough to make the collabo work?

SUPERPACK:
She told you she has a boyfriend and in a relationship but that did not stop from shifting her paent.

She is in your house and on your bed, you had no problem with that too because someone else is paying her bills.

All of a sudden you are angry because of a long call from one of the pússy co-owners like you that pays her bills possibly.

Conclusion;''He who wants equity must come with clean hands''

You are blessed for this comment.

Promise47:
Hello Nairaland
Good morning to everyone.

My name is Promise I'm in my mid 20s. currently I have graduated but still having some outstanding courses (full session) .

I graduated from one of the state university.

My problem is that I'm an Amateur boxer (Paramount king boxing) Lagos and still need to clear my courses before I can take my results. Things haven't been going well with me, the people training me in boxing has told me to choose between my Career in boxing and the school I'm going ( because it's really affecting me I can't go to training anymore) .

I don't know what to do should I just leave this degree and focus on my boxing career ( may be I may travel abroad when opportunity comes) or should I finish my school because this degree has been drawing me back ward(since 2015 I was suspended and I came back in 2019 ) now I graduated but I'm still owing my school delsu (9 outstanding courses) .

I'm really suffering because my parents don't have much, but they are still struggling to make sure I go.

I'm really tired.

please I need advice. please u can insult me but I also advice me thank you I'm the first son I have two sisters.

My advice:

Try as much as possible to complete your degree programme, even if you have to graduate with a 3rd class. This could serve as your fallback plan, in case you sustain a career threatening injury that forces you into early retirement (God forbid) in the future. That way you can easily pickup another career path.

Giftlove11:
I was being blinded by love to the extent that my boyfriend and I took a blood covenant, that was about some years ago..

The truth is that I was so madly in love with him, and when he brought out the ideal, I thought that was the only way he will be mine forever. So I agreed with him, and we made the convenant.. We use needle to cut out blood from our thumb, and we made a vow never to live each other or make love with another person..

i've been discussing with him to end this convenant, but he always refuses. We took the convenant when i was 17yrs, and Its been 8years now, and i've loved only him. Even though i don't love him again, i'm afraid to have or make love with another person.
he say we can't end it and that we must mary each other.

I already found someone else i love, i'm planning to report him to the police or his parents if he dosn't give me a chance to go away..

*i don't kno if it will actually hurt me if i love another person.

i really want to go away from him

Let me boldly tell you that even your ex-boyfriend doesn't have the power to end the covenant, only a greater power, the power of God can end it.

Few things to consider:

Is the dreadlock natural?

Is the applicant good (either through assessment or relevant work experience) in what he/she applied for?

That lady Bola Taiwo must be serving a very big God.

bestme:
Hello, nairalanders in the house, pls I need your sincere advice in this matter.

I have known this lady I really want to marry for over 2 years now. Though our friendship have been a casual one. The issue is she told me she is a graduate and then i visited her house over 2 years back I met her mom and she asked me where I came from- my tribe and if I am a graduate and told her my tribe and yes I am graduate.

She said she wants her daughter to marry a graduate because she has done her best to train her school. It was of recent we started a serious marriage relationship and I told my pastor and we both met with pastor already.

It Is now she told me that she did not graduate that she was unable to pay school fees, though she went up to 500level and did I.T but her parents only paid 100 and 200 level school fees. She said she has no result/certificate. I told her am honestly disappointed for hiding this from me ever since and she said it is because I have not really made my intentions know to her.

One of the reasons I like her was being a graduate and I have not dreamt of marrying a non graduate.

Pls your sincere advice.

1. If she's the one who told you herself, and not because you were about discover yourself.

2. If you see the potential and zeal in her.

Then you can marry her and sponsor her education.