₦airaland Forum

MRbrownJAY:
@poster
Wouldnt you cheer and support your father if he was a great man/leader?!

Don't get it twisted with this war for OIL CONTROL! The invaders(UK,US,France) don't give a damn about human rights and all the BS they claim to go in Libya for. Where were all these hypocrites when Africans were dying by the MILLIONS in Rwanda, Congo or Sudan etc?!
Are human rights in oil rich countries suddenly more important than others?!

Where are they in the Ivory Coast dispute that started before Libiya Exactly where they wanted to be. Minding their own business. Why were they not minding their own business in Iraq?

@Inked Nerd, that was the best video I've ever seen on this topic! I hope my boys will be as smart and well spoken as that little fellow.

MRbrownJAY:
@poster
Hhmm sorry to say this but you make no sense. So you went in the US within this last 2weeks, had a DNA test done on the kid(the results came that fast?!) Btw: if the kid really wasnt yours, a birth certificate would have proved that because the dates wouldn't have matched. . . . . . . then you simply came back without even dealing/thinking/talking about divorcing this "supposed" rat. Just like that?! Life goes on?!
I, For one, don't buy it!!!

^

Superstory! How were the police able to see two hidden bombs? X-ray vision? And, if they did find two bombs how could they be certain there were no more? Where are the culprits? Who are these unnamed police sources?

Give me a break. P*R*O*P*O*G*A*N*D*A

Is God in control of your life, or is your president?  

Yes. Why not.

Sex before marriage isn't advisable.

Lol!

(OT, but Nigger/akata=same thing?)

In conversation I've heard people say, "Nigga please," or "That's my nigga." In most cases it is slightly derrogatory, much like saying "You dey craze." Depending on who you say it too and when you say it, the word "nigga" can be offensive, or can be joking around. Personally I wouldn't want someone using the word to describe me, or directed at me.

Awwww,

^Bravo to all the real men out there.

PhysicsMHD:
1. Marriage is neither "desirable, wanted, etc." by men, except when they're reaching 40 and have no children and no legacy. It's all about sex or about having kids. The overwhelming majority of men in this world are not romantic. Sexually active, yes, but not romantic. There's a very real reason that successful marriages are on the decline in many Western countries and in those (mostly developing) countries where it isn't on the decline, romance is an almost alien concept to men.
2. It's actually pretty easy taking care of a home compared to a real job, unless that job is simple, part-time, low-wage, etc.
3. Saying that a woman "sacrifices her body" for her children is exactly like saying a man "sacrifices his freedom" for his children. It's ridiculous. How is it a sacrifice if you're deliberately doing something for your own pleasure (the joy of having children, being a father/mother) and benefit? People don't seem to understand the connotations of the word sacrifice.

Just clearing up some misconceptions.

1. Hmmm.  By your own definition, if the only reason a man desires marriage is for sex and kids, then it is true that men desire and want to be married.
2. Taking care of a home is, in most cases, in addition to having a real job.
3. A woman sacrifices her body for the pleasure of herself and her children. But she also sacrifices her body so that her husband can have the pleasure of becoming a father. Most women would not choose to sacrifice her body in this way for a mere boyfriend, no matter how much she wants the pleasure of being a mother. A man sacrifices his freedom, but the woman also sacrifices her freedom. Most men are free to pursue their dream educational path or career before and after marriage and kids. A man can choose to move their entire family anywhere in the world for a job opportunity. After work, men are free to pursue their vocational interests and indulge in recreational activity. After a full day of work, a woman comes home to continue to work by feeding her children, doing their hair, the laundry, the housework, ect. A man comes home just in time for a ready made dinner and to tuck his kids in bed. While the woman continues cleaning up, the husband relaxes. Then later the man often expects his wife to be ready for this sex he married her for. (Which may or may not be work in the woman's case if she is up for it.)
The next day it starts all over again with the husband going to work in his clothes that were cleaned and ironed by his wife, and the wife getting both herself and the kid(s) ready and going to work.

The sacrifice of freedom goes both ways.

wiseman2011:
I am a man, but be honest to ourself is a 'Woman' because it is easy 2 carry her belly 4 9month and during d labour. Bravo Mother.

It's sad that alot of men that are raised by single moms turn out despising women. It's natural for these guys to only see the negative things associated with raising a family, since they never saw their dad do anything. It seems like these men are trying to find reasons in their mind to rationalize away the need for a father/husband to stick around. Because to acknowledge that marriage is desireable, wanted, and respected by men, is to acknowledge that their absentee dads are really sad individuals. (Even if the dad is late, these boys sometimes grow up to misunderstand the role of a father in the home.)
Any man that was raised by both parents would have seen that a marriage isn't always perfect, but the good times outweigh the bad, especially if you have found the right person.

Both husband and wife make sacrifices in a marriage.

The man, who is the head, bears the burden of responsibility. As the oldest child I understand that this invisible pressure can sometimes be overwhelming. However, as much as I resented it at times, this pressure has pushed me to succeed. The pressure that a man faces in a marriage should push him to succeed. It is a weak man indeed who will destroy/tear down their marriage by abusing or cheating on his wife. If you can't control your sexual desire or your anger, most likely you do not have the control necessary to be successful in the real world.
The woman is responsible for  the household duties. It is no easy task to keep a house running amoothly. It can be a full time job by itself. In childbearing a woman must sacrifice her body. This is more intense than it seems, because a woman has shoulder this responsibility alone, even though the man might be by her side. In the case of a miscarriage or stillbirth it is the woman who suffers the longest, in most cases these things haunt her for life because she will feel like her body failed the baby. Pregnancy is not easy. A woman goes through a whole lot of misery in those 9 months. And childbirth itself is an unbelievable amount of agonizing pain. After, the woman is tied down to the baby 24/7. A man thinks he gives up his freedom? He most likely knows nothing about being shackled to a mini person for months and years. It basically makes the woman do double duty because she has to feed, cloth, clean, and entertain another person beside herself for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Every other child multiplies this effort.

Bottom line, a mother sacrifices more for the children. My mother sure did. That doesn't mean she contributes the most, but sacrifice, yes.

Blazay:
Real men walk away and act like men. No man that commands respect by his person and physical presence from a woman will be rubbished by ANY woman.
Anyone who cannot communicate without violence should be locked up. Period!

^ I second that!

@$$hole!

Keep both, and play them against each other. Win win for everyone.
1. You win because I'm sure you are not looking for a serious relationship from these guys anyways.
2. Frank wins because he can still have you and his 'baby mama'.
3. CM wins because, as you must know, you can't possibly be the only woman in his life. Boss man is just getting a rise out of dating one of his employee's girls. You see he didn't want your single pretty cousin, and your single hot friend.

Both guys probably suspect you are with the other and it only makes them pay you more attention, and desire you more. Wait to see how the competition plays out.

_{And please don't play bedroom arobatics with either one.}

Most of the time people that have contempt for others usually have a greater level of contempt for themselves. Be greatful that you are not her. Respectfully tell her that you are thankful for the time that she allowed you to stay and that you are moving on.
After all, if you don't love yourself you can't care about anyone else. It's sad but she is just a miserable person. No matter how respectful, kind, considerate, and helpful you are, she will always treat you badly. Subconsciously she is pushing people away to avoid being pushed away. When u leave she will play the victim to all who will listen.

@ Sagamite- I'm glad you realize these types do not make good partners. Some of these men made this mistake and ended up in trouble.
I actually agree with you on this, and I can honestly say that I understand the necessity of a prenup, where as before, I would have been opposed to the idea of a prenup on the grounds of being a 'Selfish' woman (as you described), and I woudn't have looked at it as giving a man peace of mind.

Sagamite:
There is no way you or any woman can get half of my wealth.

As your lawyers want to serve me, I will run to Western Union and transfer 90% of it to my cousin in Nigeria.

A 400 pound transfer can not cost me more than 7 quid with Western Union. Lets see how the courts will award you the remaining £100 when I need to eat.

I'm smarter than that. I would have already ran to Western Union and transferred 300 pounds to my cousin in the caribbean islands.

harakiri:
@Sagamite. . . At this point, i think it's safe to say it's pointless bantering with these women. The system is aimed at benefiting them and even when they know the truth of this injustice, they will defend the anomaly by regurgitating all they've been brainwashed via the media and feminazi progandadists. A wise man once said "women and logic don't mix". The kind of comments on this thread says it all. The same women defending the system would feel different if their brother,son or close relative was affected. And there's a dumb hypocritical bimbo here talking about hypocrisy as if she knows the meaning of the word.

Why this even a debate? Are any of these wealthy men complaining?

Since you don't believe in the institution of marriage at all and that men should just keep girlfriends, it's safe to say that you believe these women were wrong to get even one single penny in the case of divorce, no matter how many years of marriage and if there are children involved. You are alone in this view point. Maybe you want your sister, daughter, or other close relative to be girlfriends their whole lives. If my brother, son, or anyone else was affected I would say the same thing: get a prenup in place, and make sure you are marrying a woman who contributes to your life in a meaningful way.

@Sagamite- I'm not your sweetie. You must have me confused with a bimbo looking to trap you intro marriage and steal half your wealth. Your funds are safe for now.  

harakiri:
@ Nekai. . . What criteria determines the "true worth" of the opposite sex?

This is a great question! However the answer would be better gained by opening a new thread on this topic. Truthfully the answer of what is the true worth of a man and what is the true worth of a woman is not as cut and dry as spitting out few bullet points on a forum. Life is a far better arena for learning the answers to this question.
It's also individual because every man and woman has to discover their true worth by applying their God given talents and abilities to develop their self worth.
Manhood and womanhood have different and equally as important roles in a marriage.
Personally I look to my mom first when making my determination of a woman's true worth, and I look to my dad when making my determination of a man's true worth. They were not perfect, but both their strengths and weaknesses have shaped my personal views on the matter.

harakiri:
At last! We've finally agree on the same thing i hammered on in my first post on this thread where i clearly stated that marriage is pointless due to the fact that men can always get what marriage "offers" WITHOUT being married in the first place.

Kudos Nekai. . .You finally saw the light. . .lol

Nekai:
If all a man contributes is financial security then why should a financially stable woman get married? In the west single women are in the workforce in full force, making the same amount of money as a single man. Also, if all a woman contributes is beauty, then why get married at all? Keep your beautiful girlfriends and trade her in for a new model every few years. Poeople (men and women) need to stop blindly getting married for selfish reasons or to yeild to social pressure. It leads to disrespect, comtempt and untimately divorce. Manhood encompases many things, not just bringing home money, just as womanhood encompasses many things, and not just being beautiful and popping out babies.
Maturity is not only about knowing your strength and worth as a man/woman, but in also knowing the strength and worth of the opposite gender.

Harakiri, I'm glad we agree that those not mature enough to understand the true worth of the opposite gender should not get married. . .lol

Sagamite:
So because the law is like that and the men get into it knowing the law, the law needs no changing.

Oh, now I get it!

So because African women get into marriages knowing that, in that country, after divorce they will be left with nothing, that makes it fine. That law does not need changing. It should be left like that.

Great point, Nekai!

Sigh. It's a shame that this is the only thing you gained from that post. That wasn't my point and you know it. That argument about changing laws and all that is a different dicsussion altogether. But since you went there I had to bring this up.


The following is a link to Nigeria's Matrimonial Causes Act:

http://www.nigeria-law.org/Matrimonial%20Causes%20Act.htm

In case it is too lengthly, it does talk of earnings capacity, maintence for both child and former spouse, settlement, child support, and many of the things being discussed here.

harakiri:
Please, let's be objective and leave out sentiments shall we?

Now, if you had followed the my posts on this thread with a clear unbiased mind, you would have noticed that what i am against is irrational and biased system of divorce laws in the west. I NEVER indicated that a man should divorce his wife and kick her to the curbs without any support for the kids ( i don't know why people like to paint a different picture instead of issues). Put yourself in this scenario :

You have an elder brother who you saw struggle throughout his twenties and early thirties to make something out for himself. Sunday to Saturday, he's always busy with work. The only time he has for himself is when he sleeps. Christmas,New year,Easter and Birthdays are mere formalities and a waste of precious time to him. He is 100% focused on winning the war against lack and poverty.With time, he becomes a billionaire. He now decides to get married. They have 2 kids together within 5 years of marriage and because she's bored and "unhappy" with the marriage, she wants a divorce. In all fairness, do you think this man deserves to be kicked out of his mansion all because his kids must continue to "live the good life"? Do you think it's fair that all his assets be split into half and given to a woman who has no idea how many sleepless nights he's had worrying about how to protect and improve his investments? Do you think it's fair such a woman gets anything from $100million to $500 million of his money all because she "sacrificed" her time to raise HER OWN KIDS? Do you think it's fair that a man MUST compensate a woman for having kids? (child bearing is at the top priority list of almost every woman and yet when she has them, a man must PAY! ! !). Do you think it's fair that a woman receives huge amounts of money that can corrupt the heavens all because she changed diapers (Actually, a nanny does that job for them, a steward does the laundry, there's a cook,driver,security guards and even live in cosmeticians who do her nails,hair,make up for her without her needing to lift a finger. All she does if phuck him once in a while and blow tens of thousands of dollars in a 2 hour shopping spree)? Do you think it's fair that a woman can cheat on a man and get half his wealth but the same is not applicable when a man cheats. It only makes his case worse. If she cheats, it's because her "needs" are not being met in the marriage. If he cheats, it's because he's an unrepentant he-goat that didn't put his family first before making a bad decision and as a result, the judge hands him down the harshest spousal and child support ruling obtainable within the state laws. I can go on and on with a lot of unfairness in the system but a rational thinking person knows I've said all that needs to be said in my first post on this thread.

Yes it's fair that the assets gained in those five years are split. (The mansion woudn't be a part of those assets unless they bought it during the marriage, and even still he would split the value if he didn't want to leave. He wouldn't get thrown out.):

1. He knowingly got married into a society that splits the marital assets. If he knew that he was going to be making a 'huge amount of money that can corrupt the heavens', then he should have had her sign a prenup for a lesser sum.
2. He got married to a woman of little value. She has no idea he has many sleepless nights, she prefers to have a full staff do the things that she could be doing, she doesn't lift a finger, and she blows money on shopping sprees.

He sold himself short by joining himself to a woman like this. Why did he get married and sign on the dotted line? A girlfriend could have served the same purpose.

duduspace:
Go read the legal basis of marriage and exactly what people are saying when they affirm "I do" and the various laws that govern that institution in the society where these cases take place.

It boils down to this:
A. These wealthly men know what they are getting themselves into when they get married. They are choosing to get married in a country that provided them the opportunity to amass this wealth in the first place, and are quite knowledgeable about the legal implications of marriage and the potential ramifications of divorce.

B. It was mentioned on here that a man brings his wealth and business skills and all that into a marriage and all a woman contributes is her beauty. Marriage isn't by force. It is up to men to find their missing rib. Why get married to a woman who only has beauty? There are beautiful women out here that also have many of the skills necessary to make a positive difference in a man's life. A man's job is to find a woman that can bring to the table just as much as he can.  A woman that is his female equivalent. A woman that has reached her potential in womanhood, to match the potential you have reached in manhood. This is what marriage is all about.

If all a man contributes is financial security then why should a financially stable woman get married? In the west single women are in the workforce in full force, making the same amount of money as a single man. Also, if all a woman contributes is beauty, then why get married at all? Keep your beautiful girlfriends and trade her in for a new model every few years. Poeople (men and women) need to stop blindly getting married for selfish reasons or to yeild to social pressure. It leads to disrespect, comtempt and untimately divorce. Manhood encompases many things, not just bringing home money, just as womanhood encompasses many things, and not just being beautiful and popping out babies.
Maturity is not only about knowing your strength and worth as a man/woman, but in also knowing the strength and worth of the opposite gender.

Outstrip:
How many of you men would walk away from your marriage without a penny of you wife hit the jackpot and wins 100 million dollars. Will you be gracious enough to leave with just the clothes on your back after all it was a money she used to buy the ticket SMH

Truth! Especially if she was having affairs all around town.  

seyibrown:
I think the OP should put his Sisters (no insult intended) in the shoes of this so called 'liability wives' . He might reconsider his position on whether 'liability wives' should be forced out of marriages with cheating inconsiderate men without anything. A woman who stays at home and looks after the kids and the home is contributing A LOT to the marriage.

Let men who do not want to give half of their money to women keep their trousers zipped! . . . or 'marry' a 'non-woman' !

'Millions' is a relative term. Tiger's wife got a mere 10% of his net worth. The typical divorce settlement might be in millions of pennies and not dollars. It's about maintaining lifestyle for her and their two children. I'm sure many men would have liked to see her and the children end up in a shabby one bedroom apartment. She was married to him for seven years, and would have stayed married if not for his many affairs.

aca77:
There is no reason why a man should give a woman money he worked for, unless he freely chooses to. That is just it. If raising or taking care of children is such a 'big deal', then nannies should be the highest paid people in the world. Nonsense.

When you have raised/taken care of your first child, I fully expect you to update us on this theory of yours.

I stick by my assertion that a marriage is a union in which two people are joined as one. If more people took this seriously then they would choose a partner that can be their equal, and they would respect each other's contribution. If more wives had to endure the pressures of being the husband/father/head of household for a day, and more men had to endure the pressures of being a wife/mother/household organizer for a day, than there would be more respect for one another.
My father was a great man, my mother was a great woman. They achieved much more together than they did before they were married. They supported each other when they moved to america together. They took turns supporting each other through school, saved money together, worked opposite schedules at times, all for the sake of the union. They didn't have a perfect marriage but they had respect for one another. It is truly shocking to read some of the responses on here. My idea of marriage is not based on a woman snagging a rich man and relaxing while the man slaves away at work. We were considered middle class and we had no nannies, househelps, or maids raising us.

He needs to run from this woman. If it were the other way around she would be cursing him to high heaven.

Sagamite:
No 1, having more degrees means nothing if it is not in areas with premium earnings and unique skills (Quantitative stuff).

No 2, having degrees does not mena jackshit. Most end up working for someone. A better tool is to look at what proportion is setting up successful businesses.

No 3, you erred making such a silly assumption that financial progress is the only consideration for a man when coupling.

1. True.
2. I disagree because where would one go about securing funds to start a business without some sort of stable income to save money?
3. Financial progress seems to be the topic of the hour. I don't believe it should be the only consideration, but with all this talk of women sitting at home doing nothing and getting the benefits of a successful man, I thought I would point out that many women can hold thier own financially.

I'm sure many women would gladly relinquish half of the household duties so that she can build up a sucessful career as well. Men, are you prepared to change half the diapers, get up for middle of the night feedings, do half the dishes, laundry, and clothing repairs, attend half the doctors appointments, cook half the time, miss work half the time when a child is sick, stay home and babysit so the woman can go out networking and socializing with colleges, play host when family and friends pay a visit by cooking an elaborate meal half the time, be responsible for birth control half the time, grocery shop and keep the house clean half the time, leave your job behind if her promotion calls for relocation, and best of all bend down and scrub the floors, bathroom, and clean the rest of the house half the time.

The reality is that the majority of men would prefer not to do this, and women are happy to put her career second to her husband's own, and apply her excess energy into doing these things so that her husband has more time and energy to focus on his career. And most men are happy with the role of being the primary provider.
I feel that we all mostly agree here. Worst case senarios exist for either gender in marriage, but a good marriage with the right partner will contribute to both parties success and happiness. I believe the institution of marriage helps people to reach their full potential. Poeple just need to make sure they are with the right person for the right reason.
BTW, not all women think with their emotions and react with their feelings. There are rational minded women out there that can logically analyze situatioons without getting tied up in emotionalism.

Chaircover you have hit the nail on the head as usual.
The funny thing is, in my part of the world the woman makes more than the man does in many cases. In fact women in the u.s. actually are actually attaining college degrees at a higher rate than men. This is in spite of the fact that we have to do the housework, cooking, and child rearing.

And it's now official: Women dominate men at every level of higher education, in terms of degrees conferred. Here's the breakdown for graduates of the class of 2009:


Associate's Degrees: 167 for women for every 100 for men.


Bachelor's Degrees: 142 for women for every 100 for men.


Master's Degrees: 159 for women for every 100 for men.


Professional Degrees: 104 for women for every 100 for men.


Doctoral Degrees: 107 for women for every 100 for men.(http://mjperry..com/2009/06/women-dominate-higher-education-at.html)

It can be agreed upon that the males here are trying to protect their potential empires and the females are trying to protect their fellow women from a potential poverty in the case of divorce. What's not understandable is the attitude that women are a liability, a wife contributes barely anything to a marriage, and a man can be significantly more successful if he stays single. It sounds like some men don't understand the value of a good woman. It almost sounds like a hatred for the female species. Men like these grow to truly despise their wives once they have a few children since that is all they are good for. Why else get married then? According to some of you guys you will end up financially, socially, mentally, and vocationally limited in a marriage. Why get married then? Why date women at all then? Use your millions to buy prostitutes who will at least tell you upfront how much she is milking out of you. Pay some woman to be a surrogate mother to your kids. Please, just don't get married if all you see out of it is pain and frustration. Don't forget, if women are this bad, there is another option out there.  

dayokanu:
^^ How about both parties using their intellect and brains to make money for themselves. And not leeching off the other?

In a union there is no need for you to feel like your wife/husband is leeching off you if you have found an equal partner.

Atreides:
I still say both partners make sacrifices in a marriage,sacrifices which i've mentioned previously on this thread.
If a man is not rewarded for the sacrifices he makes,i don't see why a woman should be.

Agreed. Neither party deserves a reward for doing their part in a union, but in the event of divorce neither party deserves to be punished to the point of being thrown out on the street either.

Shinatu:
We are the same people who will condemn and be ready to crusify the woman for neglecting her 'roles' as a woman.

Yes! We can't win either way. If we go to school for many years and build a career instead of accepting the first marriage proposal that comes our way, we will suffer. If we pursue our carrers and money while we are married then our husbands complain that the housework is neglected, or the kids need more minding, or there isn't enough kids, or we are too tired for intimacy.