₦airaland Forum

'mistaken rough play'? Old people can't have sex now? Anyways, Abraham impregnated Sarah when she over 90 years old, lol. Anyone who's parents are younger than them are in danger of waking up to find out their mum has a belle!

Your brother needs to be happy in his own skin. If you can't be happy with yourself then you can't be happy with anyone else either.
He needs to stop looking and start taking care of himself. Get dressed up and go out alone. Buy himself dinner. Learn to have a positive attitude about life. The right woman will wonder who is this confident gentleman and will want to be in his company. Then boom, before you know it he will be married and giving you nieces and nephews left and right.

@ OP, I think by 30 some of a woman's "fairy tale" romantic notions are replaced by what a sense of true love, comittment, and relationships is all about. Many younger women feel tied down in relationships or they date the wrong type of guy, and then the partners grow apart. Not every one, but like you say the 20s are for self exploration and self discovery.

ak47mann:
But nekia my baby his tall i saw him in the scan tall boy and yes iam tall why cant my kids be like their dad?offcourse my gene will produced tall fine good looking babies both girls and boys

Awww, that's so nice! Godbless you and your baby son. Maybe there might be another one hiding behind him!

ak47mann:
190
I dont no, but what i can tell you is what the doctors told me may be they are playing basketball not football cus they are tall babies

Babies

I'm not a fan. I don't want any and I don't think I would ever date a man with any. Why do something that permanent to yourself? However, they are not repulsive if they are small and discreet.

A fibriod does not necessarily prevent pregnancy. I was diagnosed with one a couple of years ago.

This boyfriend of your thinks he is your husband. Ask him is this his way of proposing? Because as a single woman you can do as you please. Either that or he thinks he is your daddy,

blink182:
I dont see that question coming up as they wont even know they're adopted and if they find out later well they're free to.

True.

These stories are so great.

Siena:

I'll look after her - she can be a sister and playmate to my daughter Sienna!

Are you volunteering you and your wife to become NL godparents? Where do I sign up?

Blazay:
Easier said than done. All without 'congo'. . . witi pickin sucking my bobby every 2 hours? Nor be only back the man go rub.

LOL!

Yes, men should get maternity leave so that he can help with the baby. If it's the first baby it's stressful, and if there are other children it must be very, very stressful.

I am a single parent, so I have to consider if I die for one of my children, who would take care of the other one?

However, if God put me in the situation to make the choice, I would have to die, even if a slow and painful death.  I will have to trust God to take care of them.

(Maybe I may have answered differently before I became a mom. My perspective on life has changed alot since that day six months ago.  )

Advocator:
Any man who impregnate a woman and runs away the moment she informs him is a not a man at all. I find those kind of batty boys to be cowards and immature. If you can’t step up to take care of your children then you are nothing/zilch/zero.

It’s not good to take broad view @ OP. Lots of men keep their promises. But those who don’t keep their promises, the least punishment a girl can do is let him go – because chances are if he’s gonna step on such a big vow (like not keeping the marriage underway) he may cheat in the long run.

True.

one thing i know about the nairaland romaance and sex forum is that it is fille with inexperienced virgins who dont even know the alternative use of their focal places besides pissssing so i dont expect some of you guys to understand, talkless of taking a stand when such happens, because asking a lady to do an abortion is TOTALLY WRONG AND UNETHICAL (MY 2 PENCE) and so is having unprotected sex; but she was someone i rusted with my life and health.

OP, you say u trusted this girl with your life and health, How would getting pregnant be totally her fault? I don't understand why you would be telling her that you are not fathering the bastard child because it's not yours, when you just finished 'pounding the chick' unprotected and depositing your seed into her, like there was no tomorrow. Then you have the nerve to call her wicked

I was kind of in this girl's shoes before except we had no discussion about timing and all that before hand. And I was not joking. I have accepted responsibility for my part and the guy could care less about the 'bastards' that he fathered. It is really immature to blame the woman in the situation because both of you made the mistake. And although you both knew you were unprotected the least you could have done was to 'pull out' on time. Not the most effective method to prevent pregnancy, but don't go around making deposits into fertile soil and not expecting them to take root.

I think a surrogate mother is the best option. Do you know that a surrogate mother can even breastfeed?
As a woman if my man were infertile I would discuss getting a donor. Adoption is also good as well, but going through the doctor nobody even has to know that the husband has an issue.

I have had to do it on several occasions when my children could not breathe. The taste was the last thing on my mind as I was watching them struggle.

Blazay:
Yes, I have.
Swallowed it too.
Tasted salty and slimy.

Like sperm or poohsie juice.

Why r u so silly.

It's better to remain childfree than to bring children in the world to be abused and abandoned by both parents. Some people don't want the responsibilities of being a parent. I wouldn't choose such a path, because I think bringing children into the world under the blessing and sanctity of marriage must be the greatest feeling ever.

foyeks2001:
nope, If I must do it without protection, it must be someone (no more a boyfriend thingy) I wanna spend d rest of my life with, and he must accept me and the baby

ZIM DRILL:
cool from your point of view and principle but if he is playing along but in his heart he is just having fun he doesnt want to spend the rest of his life with you

^^^That

I don't think there is anything wrong with video games. They challenge the mind, and also they can be a kind of stress relief. I would only see a problem if he neglected his regular duties to play all day and night.
I used to love to play myself, but I gave my playstation away when my studies became more intense.

I was in this situation and I did not want to marry the father. I didn't want to correct one act of ignorance with another. Turns out the 'father' turned out to be irresponsible anyways, after talking love and future, bla blah blah, for a few weeks, he pulled a disappearing act. I'm glad I saw his true colors.
How many women married because of suprise pregnancy turned out to later find out the guy was uncaring, not ready for family life, had anger issues, can't handle stress well, or worse?

You can enjoy and be revived daily, she's God's perfect match for you, maybe a change of attitude will help.
read on !

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said,

'I've got something to tell you'.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what
I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,

'Why?'

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks
and shouted at me,

'You are not a man!'

That night, we didn' t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to a lovely girl
called Dew. I did'nt love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that
she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced
at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of
her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time,
resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved
Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I
had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea
of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and
clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at
the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep
very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke
up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I
turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life
as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time
and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day. She
requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our
bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was
going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted
her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face
the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both
appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his
arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting
room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She
closed her eyes and said softly;

'Don't tell our son about the divorce'.

I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went
to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn' t
looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was not
young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had
done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to
me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of
intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became
easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout
made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses
but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the
reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the
moment and said,

'Dad, it's time to carry mum out.' To him, seeing his father
carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife
gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face
away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then
held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to
the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her
body tightly, it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone
to school. I held her tightly and said, I had'nt noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind, I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her,

'Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.'

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead.

'Do you have a fever?'

She said. I moved her hand off my head.

'Sorry, Dew', I said, 'I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not
because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realise that since I
carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until
death do us apart.'

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the
floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The
salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote,

'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.'

[/b][b][b][/b][size=8pt][/size]The story is continued,

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Dew to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband,


The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Congrats! I'm so glad your children approved, and I'm glad you found someone that will truly love them. I wish you all happiness!
When you write that book be sure to let us all know! It sounds like you went through alot, and you didn't rush the process. I admire you patience.
Congrats again to you, your children, and your new fiancee!

How do you feel when you find yourself in this position?
I was in this position a while back and it wasn't easy. I felt so alone. Maybe it was God's way of drawing me nearer to Him because I had nothing left to do but pray.

What do you think should/would solve the problem
I had to adjust my way of thinking. I also readjusted my views about the future. Everything changed in an instant and I was stuck on the past. I had to wake up and realize that my life would take on a different path than the one I had prepared for.

What lessons did u learnt from that experience (If it had happened to you or Have found yourself in such situation)?
Even if nobody else does, talk to yourself positively. Don't focus on negatives. Love God, and love yourself. I had to keep telling myself that God created me and God alone knows my purpose for putting me on this earth. I learned that sometimes the greatest blessings come out of the greatest disappointments. I wasted alot of time focused on the disappointments, and when I started having a spirit of thanks and gratitue, the blessings started to come.

What did you do or happened to get you out of the situation?
Prayer was important. Also, some of the most unexpected people came into my life and was there for me. Don't shut everyone out because someone you least expect may be able to be of help.

Remember, God knit together your DNA in your mother's womb. He created you o be on this earth for a purpose!

Can you and the kids go live with your uncle for a while? I'm sure he knows that you would want to escape the situation. Does your husband have family that you can talk to? I don't trust this agreement between you two. Involve both sides of the family in the agreement.

chaircover:
First things first don't let anyone and I mean anyone make you feel guilty for the way you look after your kids. People just like to transfer their own issues onto someone else to make themselves look good.

I agree. It's about what works for the family at the time. In some places childcare s so expensive that the wife must stay home. In other cases the woman wants to stay home because of the lack of trustworthy childcare. Some families cannot afford to be without two incomes and both parents gladly have a career that their kids can be proud of.
I know many homeschooled, sheltered kids that were not prepared for the responsibilities of the real world.
It's about the big picture.

No suggestions yet but congrats!

What a lovely baby! And she looks so peaceful! Daddy's little girl! Congrats to the Mr. and the Mrs.!!!!