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CultureRe: African Men V. African Women by nene1: 7:29pm On Dec 04, 2009
This is very true. First of all a lot of african girls in general not only nigerian tend to mingle with other african girls mostly. If not from their same country at least from another african country. Even some of my african girlfriends who were born and raised here still stick to african guys. It is the men who usually tend to date out. But with AA it's the same thing. It is much more common for an AA male to be with a white woman or woman of another race than an AA woman. It's a male dominated society so it is easier for men to do certain things. Besides when an AA woman marries an African man she is marrying into an african family and their children will carry an african surname, but if an african girl marries an aa male, she married into a non-african family and her children carry a non-african name.

Anyway, I noticed it is much more common for nigerians and ghanaians to marry black american women, but for other african men it is rare. They mostly stick to their own. Naija men/aa women couples are really common.

Why do you want to marry an african woman anyway? There are plenty of single black american women. Not many african fathers would accept an aa male for their daughter.
CultureRe: Nigerian Men Vs Black-American Men! by nene1: 7:16pm On Dec 04, 2009
finemocha:
u cant really compare nigerian men to african american men. that is an insult to nigerian men. that is like comparing nigerian women to african american women.
I agree there is no comparison. It is insulting.
RomanceRe: Dating Indian Men : Old Topic Want New Thoughts by nene1: 7:07pm On Dec 04, 2009
[quote author=Blood_Shed link=topic=360767.msg5049262#msg5049262 date=1259941523]Its funny how black women can openly talk about dating men of other races but if a black man were to talk about dating other races of women openly then all hell breaks loose.[/quote]The difference is black women don't do it nearly as often as black men and we also don't date/marry out as much as black men do.
FamilyRe: Trust In A Marriage:having A Joint Account With Your Spouse by nene1(op): 1:42pm On Dec 04, 2009
Siena:
Thanks buddy, yes, we're both Nigerians. smiley
O okay. Some naijas do look like black americans. That's just why I was asking. You guys kinda looked American to me.
RomanceRe: Is It Possible To Still Be In Love With An Ex For 5 Years by nene1: 5:08am On Dec 04, 2009
michelin89:
Why did you break up in the first place?
That's what I was wondering the whole time I was reading this thread. Was it the ex who broke the relationship? I'm thinking that would make more sense otherwise if you feel that strongly about someone why are you not together? Well, I guess the other person does not feel the same way b/c otherwise wouldn't they have gotten back with you if they are still very much in love as well? Its a waste of emotional energy to obsess over someone who is probably enjoying their time with their new significant other. I hope some people don't still go into even marriage while still in love with their ex. I am surprised it is the men here who are saying they are still in love with their ex after X years. I though it was usually girls who had a harder time letting go after being so attached to someone.

So for those who said you are still in love with your ex after a certain number of years, have you been dating other people during that time?

Well I've never been in love so I guess I could not understand why some people could latch on so long on someone who probably doesn't return the same feelings. What could be so special about someone that it would take so long to forget?
FamilyRe: Trust In A Marriage:having A Joint Account With Your Spouse by nene1(op): 4:57am On Dec 04, 2009
Siena:
I see nothing wrong in operating a joint account with your wife or husband.

If you trust your spouse enough to have children with them, not trusting them with money says a lot about you as a person. And before folk start defending their unwillingness to have joint accounts due to unfaithful spouses and all the rest, think what led you to marry your partner in the first place.
Some folk would die for money, yet fail to put the important things in life first.
Having children with someone doesn't mean anything. That does not measure the amount of trust you have for someone. There are people who live together and choose to have children together, but are not married. However I definitely agree with the bolded part.

By the way, your profile pick with your wife is very nice. Are you nigerians? Just wondering.
FamilyRe: How Many Children Should A Couple Have? by nene1: 1:20am On Dec 04, 2009
[quote author=THE-AMAKA link=topic=360261.msg5045175#msg5045175 date=1259885549]has anyone thought about the earth? WHAT ABOUT MOTHER NATURE?!
how many more mouths can she afford to feed.
oh i weep. embarassed cry[/quote]Well I look at it from a religious perspective. God is the one who created the world so he will make space for us. If someone is meant to be born, it will happen. Personally I love big families, but I do get annoyed with those people who have kids in the double digits knowing well enough they can't afford to take care of them all and depend on welfare, which is taken from people's taxes. People liek that make me livid. Some people just give birth to receive more welfare. I can understand why some people criticize people who have so many kids. As much as i love kids, if I was in a situation where I could not afford any more kids, I would stop.
FamilyRe: Why Do Poor Men Give Birth To More Children Than D Rich. by nene1: 1:16am On Dec 04, 2009
This is true. I also noticed a lot of cases where rich men have wives who also have difficulty conceiving as well. Well I don't know if it's just me that has noticed that. If I was the wife of a chief I would have a kid every two years until I have like 6 or 7. Seriously. But for rich muslim men however, this is usually not true. They love to have many children since we believe in sharing wealth.
FamilyRe: How Many Children Should A Couple Have? by nene1: 1:10am On Dec 04, 2009
As many as you can afford. I personally want 4 kids (ideally 2 boys, 2 girls). I want a strong unified family. I want my children to have many siblings. Well at least three, but 4 is definitely my ideal number. If I was living in the old days where woman mostly stayed home, I would have ideally 6 or 7. But I want a career so I can't have that many lol,
FamilyTrust In A Marriage:having A Joint Account With Your Spouse by nene1(op): 12:50am On Dec 04, 2009
Why do people have joint accounts with their spouses? Do you need to have a joint account to pay bills? Couldn't a couple pay their share of the bills through their own separate accounts? I think it's a good idea to have a joint account, but due to so many stories I hear about unfaithful spouses, I don't know if I could trust my husband with all my money when I get married. But I guess I can just put a certain perctage in the joint account and the rest in my own personal account. Would you want to have a joint account with your spouse? I feel like a spouse should be someone you could trust with your life, but I feel like the meaning of marriage today has dimished. People are making it into a business. It is more about money and profit now. Many people marry for the wrong reasons and these things are making it hard to trust people. When I see stories of women who have been married for 20+ years for their spouse to cheat on them and they end up divorcing. It's pretty discouraging. I don't want to be with a man today who claims to love me more than anything today and then tomorrow it's a differnt story. What is your take on this? I feel like trust is the most important part in a relationship yet the hardest to maintain.
RomanceRe: What To Do When Your American Wife Throws Your Stuffs On The Street. by nene1: 12:40am On Dec 04, 2009
MUZBO:
He should just pack it up once and bail before he hears sirens.
lol, true. She can do whatever she want to him and get away with it, but heaven forbid he even gives her one slap. His ass would be in jail. He should just leave before this bitch provokes him and he ends up like Chris Brown. HE will be the one to get in trouble, not her. U.S. law favors woman so she would have to do a lot to him before she could get in trouble, but all he has to do is bruise her a little and he will land in jail. But when kids are involved it makes it harder, b/c a woman like that would probably try to get full custody of the kids. Even if she doesn't get full custody, she would still most liklely get custody and he visitation rights or something like that. He's probably just sticking in so he can be with his kids. It's painful to lose your kids and even more painful to have another man come in and raise them if the woman marries or dates someone else. Whether that new person is good or bad to the kids does not help either way. If he is mean to them, the kids will just suffer. If he is very nice to them they will get to know him more as a father and more used to him than the actual father. It would kind of be like he takes your place in your kid's lives. Well this is assuming the kids are still young, which they sound like they are in this case.

It's sad when I see many nice single women in their thirties and would make a great wife who are still unmarried yet you have bitchy women like this who has been blessed with a husband and kids and is taking it for granted.
RomanceRe: Dating Indian Men : Old Topic Want New Thoughts by nene1: 12:30am On Dec 04, 2009
I have never seen an indian with an african with the expection of one couple I know. In rare cases I see Indian men married to white women, but that's ok in their culture since white skin is highly prized. An Indian family would accept a white woman for their son, but with a black woman it would be a different story. It has a lot to do with their caste system. Maybe Indian muslims might be more open minded if the girl was a muslim as well, but still they are all very endogamus. They have a strong culture and rarely do they marry out of their cultures. Even marrying whites is not that common either. Many Indians no matter how long they have been out of their country still maintain their culture and preserve it. They have a lot of pride in their culture so they are very homogenous when it comes to marriage. Have you wondered why despite the fact that there are many of them in parts of africa, they rarely marry the native africans? I actually admire their culture and how they love to stick with their own. In some cases I think it has more to do with preserving the culture for them than racism even though the also suffer from colonial mentality.

Personally, I have never seen an Indian guy that has struck my fancy. I can spot a cute one, but I'm not really into them when it comes to dating/relationships. Besides, most of them would not marry a black woman, b/c they will not go against their family's wishes to marry one. And most likely their family will not approve. Planned and arranged marriages are very common in their culture. A planned marriage is different from an arranged marriage in that they propose suitors to them but they are free to choose from those suitors unlike an arranged marriage. Even the most educated and westernized Indians rarely marry out of their culture. I actually admire them for that. They are very into their culture.
RomanceRe: Why Do Nigerian Girls Prefer White Men To Nigerians by nene1: 12:16am On Dec 04, 2009
I noticed with even a lot of my naija girlfriends who were born here in the states don't even date outside of their tribes or even other africans talk less of white dudes. It is the naija boys who want to date all these akata, oyibo, asians, and latinas. I know so many naija boys with akata and oyinbo girlfriends and the same with other african guys. African women usually stick with african men, but with african men it is the opposite.
RomanceRe: Why Do Nigerian Girls Prefer White Men To Nigerians by nene1: 12:13am On Dec 04, 2009
londoner:
Nigerian men, to be honest, increasingly Nigerian girls/women are opting for White men. Its true.

I see no reason why they shouldnt, its not as if Nigerian men have not been doing the same for years now.
I agree, especially with the bolded part.
RomanceRe: Why Do Nigerian Girls Prefer White Men To Nigerians by nene1: 12:13am On Dec 04, 2009
sjeezy8:
Yes it is true because some tribes would rather their daughters marry white men, as oppose to a fellow Nigerian from a different tribe.

dont know why naija folks are in denial about some stuvs
exactly. that is something i still cannot get. it is the same with some other africans too. it is big deal to marry some from even the same country, but another tribe, yet there isn't that much opposition against marrying whites. tribalism is ok, but racism is not. makes no sense.
RomanceRe: Guys/Girls What Skin Color Or Looks Do You Prefer Your Dream Woman/Man To Have by nene1: 12:09am On Dec 04, 2009
hickybrax:
perfecto
thanks, you have good taste.
RomanceRe: What To Do When Your American Wife Throws Your Stuffs On The Street. by nene1: 12:06am On Dec 04, 2009
By the way is this woman a naija woman who grew up abroad or black american? I noticed some african girls growing up here in the U.S. are adopting the bitchiness many black american woman have. Some of them are even worse.
RomanceRe: What To Do When Your American Wife Throws Your Stuffs On The Street. by nene1: 12:03am On Dec 04, 2009
It's woman like the one in this situation that make some men run away from independent women. Even if a man makes less than his woman, as long as he is not responsible and contributes to the marriage in some way such as helping with the kids and domestic tasks while the wife is at work, then what is the problem? RESPONSIBILITY is more important in a man than money. I would rather have a husband who didn't make much, but was there for me and our kids than a rich husband who puts me in a beautiful house, but is sleeping with prostitutes in hotels and is hardly home. I mean don't get me wrong, ideally it nice to have a man who makes a lot and pays most of the bills or at least half, but what can he do when his job becomes unstable during the recession? I can't stand bitchy women. I guess their husbands never sensed bitchiness from them when they were dating.

But as much as I hate to say it, women do tend to get big headed when the have a successful career. Female bosses do tend to be meaner than male bosses. I think it gets to their heads. For men it is normal to be the breadwinner and making more money than your wife, but I guess for women, especially african women it is a big deal. We have been taught that is is men that run the house and bring the money so when the tables are turned and it is the woman, she thinks she runs the house now. I guess head of the household is tied to who brings in the money. However, that is no excuse to be disrespectful. It is not as if the guy is a useless and jobless loser. He just happens to be in an unfortunate situation because of the recession. The wife should see this as a way to help her husband since marriage is not one sided, instead of seeing it as a reason to feel superior to her husband and the father of her kids.

Some men need to be smarter. Instead of financing a girl's education while you are a taxi driver or working some other menial job, you should spend that money and pay for your self to study that way you won't end up in a situation with a bitchy and controlling woman  who want to dominate the relationship simply because she makes more money.
CelebritiesRe: Rita Dominic: Is She Really All That? by nene1: 6:46am On Dec 03, 2009
Here skin is too smooth. It's like butter lol,

CelebritiesRe: Rita Dominic: Is She Really All That? by nene1: 6:45am On Dec 03, 2009
Some people have said here that Rita is considered beautiful because of her light skin. It's not like every time people find a light woman as beautiful it is simply cuz she's light. As a dark skinned chic, I think she is really gorgeous. I think her skin is beautiful cuz it is SMOOTH not b/c it is light. She still looks very african to me. I like her complexion b/c like all africans of different shades, it is very rich in color. No matter what color your skin is, if it is smooth, soft and free of any blemishes, acne, pimples etc, it will look nice.

I wonder what Rita uses for her skin. I also love her hair and she definitely does have the best taste in fashion. In my opinion, she is the most beautiful nollywood actress and she can act very well too. She is my idol and inspiration. Here are some of my fave pics of her.

RomanceRe: 17 Signs U Love Someone by nene1: 8:50pm On Nov 30, 2009
but are you sure this also describes TRUE LOVE. I felt all the signs you listed about a certain guy, but I don't know him all that well. We've talked briefly, but that's all. I like him very much, but I don't think I could say I'm in love with him though. Can someone fall in love that quickly?
RomanceRe: Why A Lot Of Black Woman Are Single. by nene1: 8:44pm On Nov 30, 2009
giddysgold:
My point exactly. This is an AMERICAN issue. Most african women are NOT single. Most african men marry african women. It's akata men that are running off to oyinbo.

hmmmm,

shred of truth,  but what about the naija men who leave wife and kids back home to travel abroad to london, or US and come back with another wife or don't come back,  and yes o ,  they marry "akata" (what an ugly word) women for greencard or at least that's what they tell u and seven years pass and then b4 u know it,  him papa dey tell your mama, his son can't marry u again,  and to top it, he will be home in one month with new "akata" wife or Oyinbo wife and babes, 

this happens everywhere,  but the point is that a woman is a woman, 
vagina is vagina, human being is human being,  and besides the arrogance of thinking that one race is better than the next is so last year and truly part of the problem,  like it or not, black Americans come from Africa and had the same culture as most Africans until this lil thing called "slavery" ,  read up on it u'll learn a lot,  and o ,  black women used to think like this too, 

And for this post to be made,  somebody's doing something with somebody and one of em aint a nigerian, 
too much pls,  vry funny 2 me this topic
lol
                 we are often blinded by the prejudice of our own ignorance
                                -anonymous

lol,  I did not say there was anything wrong about marrying an akata or black american, whicever you want to use. I was just simply stating that the problem the poster mentions applies to AMERICAN BLACK women and NOT AFRICAN BLACK women. I did not say anything about african men marrying black american women. I was saying that black american men are the ones who chase white women more than african men do, although they do it as well.

But since you did bring up the topic, I don't see anything wrong with african men marrying black american women since they are an extension of his african sisters. It is marrying oyinbo that I have a problem with, but hey who am I to judge. People will be with whoever they want to be with. It's their life and their business. Maybe if black men stop obsessing over oyinbo and chasing after them so many AMERICAN black women won't be single.
RomanceRe: 17 Signs U Love Someone by nene1: 5:24am On Nov 30, 2009
oh my goodness. this is so true. EVERYTHING you said was exactly how I felt.
RomanceRe: Why A Lot Of Black Woman Are Single. by nene1: 5:08pm On Nov 29, 2009
bufflevy:
the real reason black men date white women is because they are easy, cheap and goes with anything as compared to black women. no matter how ugly black woman is, she value herself. she doesn't just throw her self cheaply at guys, we know what we want, that is why a lot of people called black women loud and strong. we are not loud, we just know what we want and men do not take us for a bow ride, as a result, black men have look for at alternative, white women give them sex easily, and as we all know our black men like to act like GOD they like to be in control, and white women are easily control. poster I think you may like to take some note down
yeah right,dont decieve your self nene like black women are queen of virtue and all bull shit.The difference between blacks(especially naija) and white girl when you talk of sex is that blacks dont give sex for the sake of pleasure or love white girls ,they believe it is their bargaining power and they must be something to gain something first .And most of the time ,it isnt love so don't start getting all worked up about virtue and shit.Naija girls are as loose and as can do even nastier things to men in the bedroom, if there are mostly financial or some other material benefits .its very rare to see a naija girl give it up for just love ,it happens but it is rare and so pls tell me who is worse , girl who give it for love or girl who give it up for money or connection/prestige etc.White women on the other hand like women of all races have the tendency to be materialistic,I agree but not as much as black (naija) women.
that was not my post u were responding to.
RomanceRe: Why A Lot Of Black Woman Are Single. by nene1: 3:49am On Nov 29, 2009
Gabry:
dreeldee, Im dissapointed in you. Uve been abroad and out from your country, do you even think those white ladies are that great?

U are deceiving yourself. The whites might not nag as much but they throw stuff here and there, they waste all your money for their shimmy shimmy lip gloss and their hair and clothes and their pet dogs and cats dressing them like some paris Hilton's Chihuahua and above all that, most of them can't cook and clean these days. . .

I dont know what are you rying to say here really.  undecided
Exactly. You cannot say a white women knows how to take care of a home better than an african woman. Please. African women spoil their men. Where do you think so many african men got their huge egos and chauvinistic attitudes from? Our society teaches us that men are the head of the house so I don't know where these guys are getting this bs from that we are too confrontational and want to challenge them lol,
RomanceRe: Why A Lot Of Black Woman Are Single. by nene1: 3:47am On Nov 29, 2009
stillwater:
When did you Africans begin to engage in black men Vs black women Vs White women talk? huh Please keep it in America.
My point exactly. This is an AMERICAN issue. Most african women are NOT single. Most african men marry african women. It's akata men that are running off to oyinbo.
RomanceRe: Why A Lot Of Black Woman Are Single. by nene1: 3:42am On Nov 29, 2009
Is this a characteristic of AFRICAN black women now as well? I thought this was a stereotype about AMERICAN black women.

Well anyway, I don't know where many black men get the idea that white women are submissive. You mean to tell me that white women are more submissive than african women? White women are so spoiled and pampered it's ridiculous. I thought BLACK african women were the ones known for being submissive and taking care of their men. How many african men do you know who share the housework with their wives? This post is so ridiculous. Just because white women are easier to get into bed and are more open to doing nastier things in bed does not mean they are easier to get along with. I guess sucking a man's d*ck does stroke his ego lol, Well I guess sex is more sacred for african women. IN GENERAL we are not as quick to give up something so precious to just anyone.
RomanceDating A Momma's Boy/married To A Momma's Boy by nene1(op): 3:36am On Nov 29, 2009
To all the women here:

Do you happen to be in a relationship with a guy who happens to be very much a momma's boy? Or are you married to a guy who is one? How is that experience like? Do a lot of issues come up with his mother?
IslamRe: Sallah Greetings to all Nairaland Muslim Ummah by nene1: 8:32am On Nov 27, 2009
eid mubarak to you too brother and the entire muslim community on nairaland.

RomanceRe: At What Age Did You/would Like To Have Your First Child? by nene1: 9:53am On Nov 25, 2009
first of all congratulations on your new baby.

i hope to get married at 26 and have by first baby by 27 god willing.
RomanceRe: When Should A Girl Start Dating? by nene1(op): 9:52am On Nov 25, 2009
[quote author=izeek link=topic=356900.msg4991486#msg4991486 date=1259133257][/quote]i don't think he is talking about crushes. he is talking about someone you have strong feelings for. but then again a 12 year old can claim to have strong feelings for someone. i guess the question is when are you mature enough to know that those feelings are not just lust.

to ME dating is loving someone with no strings attached (no engagement or marriage), but hopefully is a way to lead to those more serious relationships. i wouldn't get involved in a relationship with someone i know i probably would never marry anyway. for example someone who is of a different religion etc,
RomanceWhen Should A Girl Start Dating? by nene1(op): 8:53pm On Nov 24, 2009
When age is it normal for a girl to start dating? 18? During college? After college? When? Is there any point of dating if there is no intention that there could be a slight possibility of it leading to marrriage if it works out well? Otherwise what would be the point of dating someone you know you will eventually break up with, especially if you're gonna have sex with him?

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