₦airaland Forum

The skit is in poor taste, in my opinion. The simple way to decide whether it's "funny" or not, is to turn it around so that a group of women holds a hot guy at gunpoint, to do a close personal inspection.

Youngsage:
Your point is well understood and I'm not disputing that the schools of other countries there are also the standard in the respective countries.

Now, would you say that the picture of 'Nigeria' up there, is also the standard of public schools in Nigeria?
If not, is it fair to have it up there on a public forum as this?

As I understand the OP's purpose in posting, it was to highlight the deficiencies in uniformly meeting the standard for public schools in Nigeria. If there were no failing, there would be no point to make.

Well-functioning schools are not the concern. They would be in the congratulatory section. This post is a call to action.

friendlyadvice:
those other countries make them show their northern equivalent, you sef go open mouth

They don't have a northern equivalent.

Youngsage:
For once I'm dissapointed, Explorers. You decided to use a single instance of Adamawa state to represent the Narrative that is Nigeria! How apt.
Why didn't you use a public school in Lagos, for example??
This is the danger of a single story.

Sure, there are some nice schools in Nigeria. And there are the ones as pictured. The point is, the schools in the other pictures ARE the standard in their countries. "Schools" like the first one illustrated, are inconceivable.

So an unfortunate human has collapsed on the road, where he is in danger of being run over by traffic, and the "pastor" feels that the appropriate thing to do is pour water on him and yell? And when he is done yelling, he will return to his church, leaving the man to get run over by a truck, while he is incapacitated?

thorpido:
It's a male name.You can find feminine names that also mean beauty for your daughter.
Why do you want controversy for her in the future?

Not a guarantee of controversy, given a lot of respondents are quite unfamiliar with it, and if it was a source of controversy...so what?

Having a slightly unusual name makes people sit up and take notice, speaking from personal experience.

Having a more masculine name on a girl is also subtly steering her away from olosho culture that is so prevalent. The name Aluko acknowledges her beauty, without making a commodity of it.

If Naira Marley likes big backsides, let a plastic surgeon give him one on his own body.

How did the trailer even fall? It's a flat, straight road with a decent surface, and an ordinary left turn into a broad driveway, which can accommodate the wide turn that the long vehicle needs. Yet the tanker is upside down like a beetle on its back, on the side of the road it ought to be on, if it were upright. How did events unfold?
Yes, it was an articulated vehicle; not the safest choice when transporting fuel...with hazardous materials, it would be better to use a rigid unit, a dedicated tanker truck, for better stability. Why is it only fuel tankers that fall? Never hear about water tankers falling....

wink2015:
Do you mind the federal government?

They do not want to think outside the box.

NIGERIA GOVERNMENT IS ONLY INTERESTED IN HOW IT VIOLATES THE FEDERAL LAWS.

Till date it is only governor Akeredolu of Ondo state who has come out to show the interest to invest in these hard drugs to tap out of the medicinal use for the development of the health sector and to grow the IGR of Ondo state.

It will be very difficult for states in this present Nigeria to think they can develop their respective state with federal allocation sourced from crude oil and Lagos state Vat money.

Wow, my comment drew a lot of attention. Yours is the post that I would like most to reply to. Please forgive my preamble.

Cannabis sativa is "just" another plant that God made, if you are a creationist, or that found itself able to grow on this planet, if you are not. It is not inherently good or evil. Manner of use determines its moral value. Like many other familiar plants already in use, in the form of traditional cures and remedies, it has pharmacological properties. Many modern pharmaceuticals are even based on those plants.

North America is starting to open its mind about C. sativa as a pharmaceutical. (It is already considered a soft recreational drug there). Various strains are being researched, but are not yet officially approved. Meanwhile, unofficially, it is being used to treat chronic pain, epilepsy, and lack of appetite. There are compassion cafes offering baked goods containing C. sativa, for people so afflicted. The derived COBD oil is non-psychoactive and has a broad legal following, using it for every sort of complaint. Although its benefits are yet to be proven, it seems to be harmless.

Beyond recreational use, there is a big opportunity to develop very useful varieties of C. sativa, putting a team of Nigerian researchers on the global map. There is a big opportunity to grow it as a valued, legal, cash crop for export.

If Ondo leads Nigeria in research, development, and internally generated revenue, more power to that state. Nigeria desperately needs more bold innovation at every level, rather than wait for the status quo to magically change itself. Perhaps Ondo will blaze a trail for the rest.

If the OP doesn't like girls who have opinions, or who are even conscious, then he can buy himself a f^ckdoll to amuse himself with.

(I think a lot of the problems raised on this forum would be solved, if others did likewise.)

Properly managed, C. sativa could be a useful and profitable crop for Nigeria, including for export. There are both medicinal and recreational strains. Why not rethink it as a legal cash crop?

Meanwhile, other guys I know of the same age, are doing their best to look older.

OP: If you can't respect your wife and her explicit wishes that you already agreed to, why should she marry you? What is the point of marrying a man who can't even keep his word until the wedding? Do you only hear what you want to hear, and ignore everything else?

I don't understand guys who want a "virtuous woman", then complain about same, when they get one.

Some people are asexual, but enjoy being in relationships. Some people have a low sex drive. Some people prefer romance to sex. Some people are aromantic. Some are sapiosexual. Some....
There are all different levels of interest in sex and romance, just as people come in all shapes and sizes. As long as the parties in the relationship are satisfied with the level of sex they are having, that's nobody's business but theirs.
It all boils down to everyone being happy with the arrangement that they have.

She is responsibly supporting them. It is only unfortunate that she brings them home before discovering that they are useless...if she could determine this beforehand, she would not have to chase so many away later.

seanswitch:
You see we bereft of thinkers in this country.
Imagine, just imagine if all those who did NYSC since inception were mandated to take courses in paramedics and emergency care. At least we will have one person out of 5 that will volunteer to help the person in need while the others continue to take pictures.

I volunteered to join Red cross a long while ago after my encounter on my first trip to Abuja. A man was visibly alive after been pulled from a car that veered into a canal. He was alive, his soul fighting to stay alive, but all we could do was watch him. I realised how useless I was at that point and how useful I could have been to that man. He was left alone to die surrounded by people who knew next to nothing about emergency care. It could have been me I said to myself.

This. Exactly. This is what taking initiative and responsibility looks like. Don't wait for "the government" to offer training. Go out and seek it.

Dress for the job you are applying for. Look like you are ready to start, the moment the interview is over.

OP, never mind the King James version. Go back to the Aramaic, the Hebrew, and the Greek originals. We'll hear back from you after you've had time to learn those languages and study the books again, with your conclusions. Meanwhile, sincere Christians will get on with godly works, in the clothes they are wearing.

"The buck stops with you." It doesn't have to be about not listening to a woman's voice. It is about not listening to any voice that is telling you to do something, that you know better than to do.

I think I met this guy online. Claiming he was stationed in Yemen.

I admire the OP's determination and patience, though perhaps finding another vocation would have been a better use of time. That's for him to decide, though. I appreciate that he did the work, instead of taking a shortcut.

If you find yourself in similar shoes to the OP, or at least if you're struggling with English, I can coach you. DM if interested.

Can I Unlike the original post? Can a man not take the least bit of responsibility for his actions, and for the people he brings into his life, and into the world? A male who wants a free ride in life at the expense of his wife and children, does not deserve to be called a "man".

Wean yourself, please.

Your pastor is out to lunch. Leave that church.

This is spousal abuse. Same thing I'd say to a woman whose husband behaves this way: get out and take the kids. You are staying together for the kids' sake--wtf? To teach them domestic violence? That is good for them somehow?

Look, avoiding cheating is not only about being honest with your partner(s), it's about being honest with yourselves--before anything happens. Before getting deep into a relationship. Before getting married. I think a lot of people never discuss how they will handle things as a couple, if one partner is attracted to someone else.

A lot of people take marriage vows without an understanding of their own nature, nor giving their natures due weight and consideration, and thus deal with the fallout later on. Marriage vows themselves seem not to account for human nature. And premarital counselling...how many couples have gone for this, and not just followed a script for marriage written by someone else...with the expectation that marriage will magically fulfill their needs--socially, sexually, emotionally, financially? How many people know their own needs deeply, never mind their partner's? How many people have made allowance for the changing needs of themselves and their spouse?

This is not to justify cheating. It's to point out that what makes cheating, cheating, is that one partner is going against their original agreement with the other partner, whatever that was. How many couples discuss what they will do, if one of them is attracted to another person? Absence of meaningful communication leads to lies, secrets, and distancing of the couple from each other. It manifests in BS such as the following:

1. S/he seduced me. Translation: I don't take responsibility for my actions.
2. S/he didn't mean anything to me. Translation: And you don't mean all that much to me, either.
3. It was the devil's handiwork. Translation: I don't take responsibility for my actions.
4. I didn't want to do it, but... Translation: I don't take responsibility for my actions.
5. It was never my intention to hurt you. Translation: I snuck around so you wouldn't find out.
6. It only happened once. Translation: Once is almost never, right?
7. You are the one I truly love. Translation: But we don't communicate, don't understand one another, and don't fully trust each other.

How many married people on this forum have the trust built within their marriage, to freely discuss their attraction to others, with their spouse? How many of you have an agreement with your spouse, on how you will handle such attractions? How many of you have a strong enough marriage that you would trust your spouse on a date with someone else, and not feel that your marriage was threatened?

But--!!! 41 and 90, bad photo quality notwithstanding, they don't look anything like the photos they're being compared to.

1. Sometimes, less is more. Not if it doesn't inspire, though.
2. "Motivational lectures" are an industry unto themselves, further funding the already rich: name-selling. Be warned.
3. The easiest way to become a billionaire is to inherit a billion.

If you like my short, sweet VALUABLE INSIGHTS from a BILLIONAIRE TO BE, sign up for my EARLY BIRD MOTIVATIONAL WORKSHOP SPECIAL for only 12,000 Naira. ACT NOW! DON'T MISS OUT!

The mer-student should see a doctor about her night sweats, or enroll in Hogwarts, where she will be accepted. Or both.

She is already never home to share each other's company, you already have house help for chores, you already aren't having sex any more...what is left?

It boils down to this...if she were no longer in your house, ie. you get a divorce, what would be different, except for no more arguments?

midnighter:
The problem is not the flogging or the discipline but the way the person uses it

Even people who have never hit their children are capable of abusing them with shouting, humiliation, emotional manipulation and insults that still constitute abuse

Most people lean on physical violence as a punishment in a lazy way without taking the time to reason with the child or use punishment proportionate to the wrong they have committed. As a result the child gets messed up

If OPs aunt had meted out punishment fairly instead of taking her problems out on him as a boy I dont think he would have minded

they have just banned smacking and made it a criminal offence in Scotland but not everybody agreed with it. Some oyinbo still believe that theres nothing wrong with giving a mischievous child a light slap because children are not automatically logical and dont always understand the scale of their actions

But all this stuff we do here about bicycle chains, slippers, spoons, koboko just brutalises us and makes us psychologically unviable. Even the politicians we venerate after stealing millions were beaten as children and it didnt teach them anything except how not to get caught

Well said.

It seems that parents forget about the "raising" part of "raising children". They have them, but don't take the trouble to teach them what TO do; instead, they wait until the kids do something wrong, then smack them down. Hard.

To me that's like planting a fruit tree or vine, and every time a branch grows in a wrong direction, cutting off the branch instead of redirecting it so that it can bear fruit. Besides scarring kids, psychologically or physically, this sort of treatment stifles their curiosity, exploration, discovery, learning, initiative, and growth, on an individual, and dare I say societal, level--coming back to the questions that[b] sassysure[/b] raises, and leads to intergenerational transfer of aggression, as seen in the original post.

sassysure:
Upon all the African method of scolding, are we better?
Is our IQ higher?
Are we not the poverty capital of the world?
After scolding and beating, we are still vehemently wicked, desperately greedy and materialistic to the core.
We grow up to jungle justice idiots, we kill with no penchant for mercy.
We are inetly wicked.

We don't know how to reprimand children
What we do is transfer of aggression.
Cos we are not naturally humane in nature.
Cos we don't know how to love.

Aside from your pessimistic conclusion, this is a very good post, and these are excellent questions that you ask...was thinking about starting another thread asking these very questions, but will invite you to do that, as you spoke first.
Some people here have said they came out better from having been "disciplined" (meaning flogged). Would they not have come out equally well or better, from being corrected without flogging?

Charleys:
I have this aunt who used to flog me, give me all sorts of punishment when I was a child.

Most of my childhood worst childhood memories are tied to her.
But she thought me lots of things, like self discipline, patience etc.

I was always with her when my mum was working.

Fast forward to now....
She has two kids (boy & a girl) very stubborn.

She doesn't want me to do the same thing she used to do to me. Is it fair at all.

Example I went home to visit during holidays, her children broke the plate they were washing...

If I was the one hell would have broken loose that day but while I was talking to them I noticed she was protecting them. I kept quiet.

Secondly when I tell them to do something they do not do it, that will be the right time to flog them.. but my aunty boldly told me not to touch her children.

I believe deep inside me I'm trying to pay her for the evil she use to do to me but I'm not aware of it.

Or am I being too harsh on them... Her kids.
Why doesn't she want me to also flog her children. My mum never had problem with her if I did something wrong. So why is she having problems with me now that her kids are doing things wrong.

I believe my generation have been cheated, children dont learn anymore in school. in fact she secretly told her children not to greet me. (This can never happen if I did this to her).

What should be my next move now. Because I believe there's a cold war going on in the house.

Note we stay at family house when we travel back to the village.

Note it's out of disrespect that makes me think this way.

Yes, you are aware of wanting to pay back your aunt for the evil done. No, it was not right, what she did to you. No, in eye-for-an-eye terms it is not "fair" that you are not to treat her kids as she treated you.
But, fair or not fair, it is time to rise above eye-for-an-eye mentality. Her kids are just kids...they didn't even exist yet when your aunt was flogging you, they are nothing to do with the resentment you already bore toward your aunt. Don't take out your frustrations on them, or else they will just be looking for someone else's kids to flog when they grow up, to relieve their frustrations about you. Stop the cycle.
Someone suggested treating the children kindly. So do I: not by spoiling them with gifts, but with kind words and constructive correction, eg. "do it this way, and then you won't drop the plate". When they do well and behave well, tell them sincerely how happy that makes you. Be the relative that you wish you'd had. It will be much more rewarding in the long run...your revenge on your aunt will be that her kids will be happy to see you and to greet you, no matter what she might or might not say. They might even help you in your old age, who knows....

Angelfrost:
All these plenty words and paragraphs on top a man-made issue of overpopulation, congestion, poor urban planning, and overall poor leadership..

The only solution to the malady of Lagos is forceful decongestion, and opening up of blocked waterways by destruction of properties built illegally.... Till then, keep suffering and suffering in that over hyped slum.

Red pill answer, but still, about the only on-topic answer thus far after Uche took the time to consider Lagos' flooding problems and write clearly about them. Rather than getting sidetracked in tribalism and doctrines, can each person replying come up with at least one constructive step that can be taken by an ordinary human without special privileges? One person said, clear the gutters. That is an example of what I'm suggesting. Even if the gutters lead nowhere, they can hold more water if they aren't full of rubbish. Next step after that--go out and follow through on the suggestions.