 Family / Re: I Have Phobia For Pregnant Women. by NiCurious: 5:21pm On Aug 04, 2020 |
PataAlhaja:
You are definitely not alone.
I learnt heavily pregnant women find it hard to tamba (wash their Nyansh) after defecating because their hand no dey fit reach their anus well well. Besides, I find pregnant women and nursing, lactating mothers very nauseating. Their toto go don scatter badly. Their breasts sef go dey leak water water. E go be like say make I vomit.
By the way, I'm an antinatalist. I'm against giving birth, child-bearing and the vicissitudes that subsequently come with it. The world is over-populated enough. Let's stop giving birth. If you want a kid, you can surely adopt legally.
I quite agree about adopting if one wants children. There are so many unwanted and uncared for children. With the over-population of the world, I cannot justify adding to the numbers. Some people feel fulfilled bringing new lives into the world, and can cater for their children--fine. Other people bring children into the world by default, as if they had no agency in the process. The kids "just happened"! Smh. Then there are those people who can only "love" a child if it's their own. What kind of love is that, then? 2 Likes |
| Jobs/Vacancies / Re: My Near Death Experience While Working As A Mason by NiCurious: 4:57pm On Aug 04, 2020 |
Thank goodness for your life, and for the man behind you who knew your trouble better than you did. You tried, that matters a lot. I understand oga's position, too. 1. He paid you for the work that you did do. (If he paid everyone a whole day's pay for a half day's work, his crew would all go home at noon.) 2. His trouble is not that you couldn't do a whole day's work, because he can find someone else next day, to replace you. But because you pushed yourself past your safe working limit, you became clumsy and almost fell and died. You think your death on his jobsite isn't trouble for him too, professionally, and not just on the level of human decency? I don't find him hardhearted from your writeup. Just frustrated because he can only control so much of what goes on at the site, and then his workers have to use their own common sense and know when to stop, because he can't feel what is going on in their body. He is building a building, not babysitting.  Las las you're okay, and you learned a lot on that day, right? Glad you're on the mend. MrOjay1:
Last friday evening, my friend in the hood called me on phone to inform me of a job opening in an ongoing construction site somewhere around Agbara (Lagos).
He told me the pay is 2,300 per day depending on if you were able to finish the day's job.
I told him i was interested (no choice for a broke man) and asked him when we are to leave for the place. He said we'll leave for Agbara the next day early in the morning to get there on time and start with others.
'No wahala', I said.
We set off the next morning and got there before 7 or thereabouts. When the supervisor saw me said, 'oboy as you dey lenge lenge (slim) like this, you sure say you go fit do this kind work so??'
I told him i could. Shey no be my mates dey do am?
I started the work which was carrying mixed concrete and sand up into the second floor of the building.
The work no easy o. I wan die true to God but i just chinned up and continued. I worked like this till afternoon.
My body was telling me to stop but i continued being that i wanted my full pay for the day then something happened.
As i was climbing up the scaffolded stairs, my limbs had become weak and my eyes dazed, i had no energy left again to climb up to the second floor so while trying to muster up energy as i climbed, I mis-stepped my footings and was about falling off the stairs down to the ground laden with bamboo, nails, stones and co far below but was saved by the hand of another worker coming up the stairs behind me. He had already noticed my fatigue and signs of faint feeling.
My headpan had already crashed down the ground.
I wonder what would have happened to me. Probably would have died.
The supervisor heard of it and was furious, lambasting me saying,' shebi i tell you say you no fit do this work? Na so you for put me for trouble.Oya dey go house now now, he said as he put his hands in his pocket and brought out 1400 as my payment.
I protested and demanded my full payment but he wasn't listening and was threatening to call the police.
I left the place, went home and used half the money to treat the sprain and pains i was feeling all over my body. 3 Likes |
| Jobs/Vacancies / Re: My Near Death Experience While Working As A Mason by NiCurious: 4:55pm On Aug 04, 2020 |
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| Foreign Affairs / Re: Apple Fire Rages In California, Thousands Evacuated (Photos) by NiCurious: 2:51am On Aug 04, 2020 |
starbuck:
I am still confused on how these wildfires emanate... I don't even know between natural disasters or human disasters we have here, which is the best 
Hardluck to the victims.. This one was caused by a malfunctioning vehicle, apparently. Otherwise, could be lightning strikes, cigarette butts, kids playing with matches, anything...it's tinder dry and very hot there. Wildfire is part of the natural cycle there, even when humans are not involved. https://www.cbsnews.com/video/cause-of-apple-fire-determined-southern-california-2020-08-03/ 1 Like |
| Family / Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by NiCurious: 1:43am On Aug 02, 2020 |
abdullahi45:
I think a better idea as stated is for the husband to have a good and honest conversation with his wife. I mean, he needs to understand what is going on and use that information to improve his and her wife sexuality. It might be that the problem is with him, perhaps he is oblivious of what induces her wife for play. It is better for him to stop assuming and avoid remediating a problem with a greater one... I agree. The core solution is honest communication with one another. The husband is not communicating the idea of taking a girlfriend, with his wife. The wife is not communicating her problem to the husband. (For example, how might she find a way to say "you are more boring than a robot in bed", without hurting his feelings, and building an even taller block wall between them?) Fear of making waves, of having an emotionally and factually honest blow-out, where every issue is in the open, is common. So work-arounds and surface level fixes are resorted to, playing house with the stranger one is wedded to, without making foundational changes, or getting to really know one another deeply, through conflict.) Failure to communicate will only lead to decades of frustration and resentment for both of them. Whatever solution they come up with, is theirs to discover. Who knows what the true issues are, much less the creative solutions that work for them as a couple? Only them. But one of them might have to say something "outrageous", to get the conversation going. 1 Like |
| Family / Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by NiCurious: 12:59am On Aug 02, 2020 |
abdullahi45:
Sorry, are you suggesting polyamory? Modern fornication and adultery? Well, so many people have already sensibly suggested that the young man actually TALK to his wife to find out why she isn't interested in sex, and make positive changes--whether that's going out together, or having time away from the kids, or seeing a gynecologist to find out if there is a physical problem...all about communication. I side with TALKING with each other to find out what is amiss, and whether they are compatible in the long term, before the husband rushes to find a side chick. But sometimes I like to push the discussion a bit...when it's late, and I should be doing other things.  zzz Therefore I suggested that maybe the couple just aren't sexually compatible, but like each other and don't want to divorce. The husband is already thinking of adultery, in the form of a girlfriend. It follows that the wife might be thinking of getting a boyfriend. (I don't know how any of that is modern.) If this is a real story and my suggestion doesn't shake them up and get either "Over my dead body" or "yeah, that would work for me, thank you for being understanding, baby" out of either of them, nothing will. |
| Family / Re: His Wife Denies Him Sex Even When He Pays All The Bills by NiCurious: 12:27am On Aug 02, 2020 |
Tunjingwu:
So I met my childhood friend yesterday at lekki.
He is still the elegant young man he has always been.
We spoke at length.
Nothing much has changed about him.
He is still very enthusiastic about life. An Engineer who after working with a firm is now on his own. Things are not very rosy but he can still hold his own.
We started talking about family since we all are married abielt for few years.
Here is the gist.....
He is contemplating having a girlfriend.
His wife hardly have sex with him.
Sometimes it takes 2 months for them to make love once. Nothing appears to be the problem other than the wife complaints of tiredness and not being in the mood for almost every time.
They have two kids(twins).
He had come to tell me to either approve or disapprove his strong intention of keeping a lady by the side since he can afford it comfortably.
I felt for him.
I disuaded him though I know how it feels to stay without sex with your wife under the same roof for months.
You pay all the bills yet you don't eat from the goody bag to your test.
Since yesterday, I have been a little worried for him. I do not know whether to call him and advise him to go ahead with his plan but try and be careful.
It's a dicey situation especially when the wife is not ready to change. Your friend could bring up the topic with his wife directly. He can tell her he is really missing sex. He can ask her if there is anything they can change to bring back their sex life. If there isn't, then he can bring up the topic of getting a girlfriend for sex. The wife might even prefer another guy for sex, herself. If the marriage itself is good, then they can talk about these things together. If they can't discuss their relationship matters frankly with each other, what sort of marriage is it? |
| Health / Re: British Man Who Lost Penis To Blood Infection Has New One Built On His Arm by NiCurious: 9:48pm On Aug 01, 2020 |
SlyCharlie:
You didn't read the post
If you did, and understood, you won't be posting this Oohkay, only got half way through and it wasn't making much sense. Reread through...but still, an infection that spread from his perineum to his fingers and toes as well...he must have been very, very sick. Some parts of this story are missing, I feel. |
| Health / Re: British Man Who Lost Penis To Blood Infection Has New One Built On His Arm by NiCurious: 9:34pm On Aug 01, 2020 |
But why on the arm instead of restructuring the healthy stump? Doesn't make sense. Why reroute reroute the urinary system to pump urine up against gravity...something tells me this is a fake story. Do you know how sick he would be throughout his body, for his fingers and d!ck to blacken...his fingers seem fine now, btw.
*Modified: I read article through more carefully this time...but still...that original infection.... |
| Religion / Re: Pastor Chris Oyakhilome: How Dare You Tell How Long We Stay In Church by NiCurious: 5:10pm On Aug 01, 2020 |
alezzy13:
Wow! I've never seen him this angry. . .  Hmmm... Isn't Anger one of the seven deadly sins? |
| Business / Re: Pictures Of Aba Automated Shoe Factory, Best In Nigeria – Technical Partner by NiCurious: 4:42pm On Aug 01, 2020 |
Where are the shoes? |
| Romance / Re: I Want To Leave My Boyfriend For A New Guy. by NiCurious: 1:13am On Aug 01, 2020 |
You're distracted by the new and shiny.
As stated severally by others, a relationship is held together by the choice and will of those in it. Observe your own behaviour. The guy says he's no longer available to you--so now you want him more than ever. You seemed content with your boyfriend, before you met this guy. Has he changed? Or are you just whiling away your time with him? If so, why are you wasting his time, then?
Supposing you dump your boyfriend for this new guy.
(a) You date until one of you gets distracted by somebody else, new and shiny.
(b) He's just playing you, making you want him by making himself unavailable, then he uses you once and dumps you.
(c) Maybe your boyfriend is testing your loyalty with him. Think about that. |
| Health / Re: Asaba: 4 People Die Mysteriously In A Newly Rented Flat by NiCurious: 6:10pm On Jul 31, 2020 |
Kenny9857:
Anybody behind this moniker is really crazy and new to be mentally evaluated.
Something is really wrong with this person and that guy righteousness Maybe it's the same person pretending to be someone else correcting him? They same made for each other....  1 Like 1 Share |
| Crime / Re: Canadian Lady Says Men Should Shut Up And Accept False Rape Allegations (pics) by NiCurious: 7:40pm On Jul 30, 2020 |
Rubbish and insanity. |
| Investment / Re: Safe Betting: How I Lost N880,000 In 8 Minutes by NiCurious: 7:28pm On Jul 30, 2020 |
Know your limit, play within it. |
| Foreign Affairs / Re: 2 Indonesian Women Publicly Whipped 100 Times Each For Sex Work by NiCurious: 1:43am On Jul 29, 2020 |
Vatod:
What about those men that patronize them!! 1 Like |
| Foreign Affairs / Re: 2 Indonesian Women Publicly Whipped 100 Times Each For Sex Work by NiCurious: 1:42am On Jul 29, 2020 |
LadySarah:
We're they selling the sex to themselves? 1 Like |
| Family / Re: Have Women Lost Their Feminine Mystique? by NiCurious: 6:06pm On Jul 28, 2020 |
AHHH...thank you so much for taking the time to explain what you mean, so clearly. Now I believe I follow your meaning quite well. I probably even agree with about 90% of it, but there are a couple of points I would reply to...inserted in red, within your text.MiddleDimension:
i was trying to neutralize the feeling activists of various ideologies like feminism want to impose on us that the human being is in grave danger hence the call that we should get up and do something. this is why i said there is no fire on the mountain. and that there are underlining issues which resorting to activism can never solve.
take for example the kiki mordi's revelation of the sexual misbehaviours of lecturers. that's a crime that has been investigated and punishment meted out. so why the activism? should we start an ideology to agitate against robbery and all the other crimes that exist in the human society? the only reason they resort to activism is because there is another underlining issue on a personal level, an underlining issue of hate, bitterness and resentment which cannot be solved by a resort to activism; instead, the activism can mask and complicate their emotions because of the intellectual argument they can bring up to back up themselves. but as soon as they meet their match who can bring up a higher intellectual argument, and they always do, then their emotions that have been masked for so long will become obvious again and the wound even worsened. this doesn't only apply to feminism, but to all other ideologies out there. The model you use of some people using activism to mask underlying emotional issues can occur in anybody, not just activists. Underlying hatred or bitterness might be the case with some "activists", but I'm pretty sure that's not the case with all of them. Often, activists are people who perceive the roots of social problems which other people are unaware of, or prefer to ignore, so they speak up and ask that individuals/society examine their ingrained, underlying assumptions. In the case of feminism, it's not just about developing rights for women, which has been happening, but examining the sense of "entitlement" of some men, whether overt or covert, which opens the way to sexual harassment in the first place. Does your argument hold true for causes other than feminism? How about the Black Lives Matter movement abroad?
she is not the first to talk about feminism in Nigeria. she is not the reason schools and organizations have laws against sexual harrassment as schools and organizations already have that since long ago. proof of her bitterness can be seen in her twitter handle: "politically incorrect" and "views are all mine" including those views expressed in tweets she retweeted, that humiliates the man. tweets like "women's freedom=men's suffering". she wishes men suffer even after justice have been delivered her. that's why she resorted to activism trying to paint the idea on her timeline that the society is on fire. but by that post of mine which you responded to by saying "you do't follow", i was trying to douse that alarm raised by her and all other activists of other ideologies with the exception of the LGBTs since i feel those ones still have a genuine reason to form organizations, and tell you that there is no fire on the mountain. since there are no rules in Nigeria to forbid women from driving, owning properties, going to school and climbing any career ladder, etc, i see no reason to form an ideology and create the fear that the world is on fire, and by extension, divide the genders even more. sexual harrassment is a crime like any other crime and will not go away. this means it should be treated like any other crime like robbery, murder etc. and when these other crimes happen, we do not start an ideology to divide the various demographics in the society. I agree, posts that say "women's freedom is men's suffering" are not doing a favour to anyone, especially when they are not true, or definitely do not need to be true. Division does not heal, and fanning unfounded fear does not lead to progress.
I don't follow KM, so didn't get your reference to her post.
Whether sexual harassment is a crime like any other, not so sure...harder to prove.
I would love to hear your views on the LGBT movement, in another post or thread.
be sure that in the future when another case like the one she investigated happens again, and they will still happen again, the said person will still resort to activism again claiming all the things she is claiming now even if at that time, more things have been done for women in addition to things they enjoy now, and even after justice must have been delivered. activists are never satisfied and the reason for that, is the hate, resentment, and bitterness that underlies their activism. and this bitterness (especially that from feminists), if i must tell you since i sense you are a very young person in your 20s who do not understand these issues very much, is not [just?] caused because they were sexually harassed; but also because they have been hurt, not by JUST ANYONE, but either by someone they love so much and had a relationship with, or they want so much they cannot have.
I will set aside your wild guess about my age.  You are suggesting that activists bring pre-existing pain to an unrelated issue, and burn off their emotions through activism, instead of addressing their emotions directly, correct? Maybe some do. But I don't accept that as a blanket statement. I might accept "Activists relate the pain they have experienced, to the suffering of others in the same situation, and bring the energy of that pain to their advocacy, to change the conditions that caused it, for themselves and generations to come". Then I would open it up for discussion, inviting activists themselves to respond.
the one who denies this, is only willing to say hurt from love or lack of it has no devastating and chronic effect on the human psyche.
I will never deny that hurt from love or lack of it, has no chronic effect.
1 Like |
| Travel / Re: My Friends Exploiting Money From Me, Advice Needed by NiCurious: 4:29am On Jul 28, 2020 |
Stop sending. If you want to block them, block them. |
| Health / Re: Woman's Body Transformation Surprises Social Media Users (Photos) by NiCurious: 3:58am On Jul 28, 2020 |
In the first picture she was smiling and looked content, though. |
| Family / Re: Have Women Lost Their Feminine Mystique? by NiCurious: 11:26pm On Jul 27, 2020 |
MiddleDimension:
there is no fire on the mountain, like the OP tried to paint. it is up to everyone the kind of discussion they want to engage in; but all these men this, men that; women this, women that; if you want to tow that line thinking it will lead to peace, happiness, fulfillment, etc, then i guarantee you that it will get to a point, you will break down, and what a break down that would be. Sorry, I don't follow.  |
| Family / Re: Have Women Lost Their Feminine Mystique? by NiCurious: 10:24pm On Jul 27, 2020 |
MiddleDimension:
feminism is not new in Nigeria, it is well established. growing up, we were indoctrinated with the mantra ''what a man can do, a woman can do better''. before we were born, there were already women like fela's mother etc.
i don't know where you got the idea that feminism is new in Nigeria. also, what the lady described is alive and well in Nigeria. do you live in Nigeria, i would like to ask! looking around, there are a lot of people cohabiting. there are a lot of women wearing skimpy things. you do not live in Nigeria to have said this. I should rather have said that feminism in Nigeria is not at the same point of progress, as where I'm living. Different factors contribute--cultural traditions and religious conservatism come to mind. The discussions on this thread alone show divergent understanding and acceptance of various shades of feminism. To me, cohabiting and wearing skimpy clothes, do not equate with feminism. For clarity, let me try to separate the intertwining threads of women's sexual liberation from women's liberation on other fronts, from "feminism" (for which everyone has a different definition). What I'm seeing in the OP is sexual liberation on the part of the teenage girls. Sexual liberation here is acknowledging themselves as sexual beings who express and indulge their sexuality. (That they are crude and obnoxious about it is negative liberation, in my opinion, as Crackhaus also noted above.) "It's my body, I can do what I want" suggests that the speaker is sexually liberated, but might yet be insecure in their self-understanding. By insecure, I mean by posing scantily clad and pouty lipped, seeking social media likes, they are marketing themselves as sex objects. Objects, not self-defining persons. They are seeking external approval; male approval. It might be a youthful thing, taking the new, blooming body for a test drive, and seeing what it can do. But it is still gauging their worth by male opinions. Women's sexual liberation is not the whole of women's liberation, though. Women's liberation includes freedom of education, career choices, choice of mate, an equal voice within marriage, access to contraception, not to mention financial emancipation, political involvement, and the right to vote...every aspect of life, not that this is a complete list. With these rights, come all the attendant responsibilities. A liberated woman, in my view, is one who has matured to a whole, well-rounded, adult, responsible for every aspect of her life. Women's liberation can't really be discussed without talking about men's liberation. At the same time that many women find traditional roles and expectations confining, and want to carve out a broader life for themselves, many men feel threatened, because those women are, in their view, "taking over" what they consider to be their territory--taking on roles by which they've defined themselves--or limited themselves to; roles which they feel define them as men. (Some other men accept the entitlements traditionally accorded to manhood, without earning them, and feel threatened and exposed when some women show merit, more than they do.) As women increase their presence and roles in society, men also benefit from broadening their own concept of themselves. That may be through increasing their own competencies, or exploring non-traditional roles and skills, and perhaps excelling in them. The liberation movement is an opportunity for people to become liberated--growing into their whole selves, using all their talents, and becoming responsible and well-rounded adults, without limitation through sex or gender. My view. 1 Like |
| Family / Re: Have Women Lost Their Feminine Mystique? by NiCurious: 6:45pm On Jul 27, 2020 |
MiddleDimension:
i think the op and all the women that agree with her are angry and think men have all the cards in their hands (which is not true). so they feel they have to return back to witholding the 'all important' card they think is their only bargaining chip against men. to the woman who is 'boxed-up' and feels boxed-up already, all things look unfair, hence the desperate need to look for an 'all important trump-card' to hold against men who she thinks have all the advantages. when she sees women, usually younger living their lives, she feels angry because she feels they are messing with women's 'trump-card' therefore depleting their collective power.
men do not value women more or less for being open. every man wants what he wants. there are men for every kind of woman.
nicurious ibkaye liberalchick cococandy crackhaus sagamite A thoughtful analysis, and I think the pattern holds true for anyone feeling "boxed up"--all things look unfair. In this case, an older woman who has withheld the "trump card" against her own inclinations, might feel angry...maybe just on a personal level, that the rules of the game, as she perceives them have changed--after she sacrificed some of her happiness to live by the old rules. Or she might feel that the collective power of women is being depleted, as you say. |
| Romance / Re: The Too Much I Know About Her Previous Sex Life Is Hunting My Feelings For Her by NiCurious: 12:17am On Jul 27, 2020 |
SIR0:
There's a girl in my neighborhood who I can refer to as my home sister. We're so close. We share feelings, advice & keep nothing from one another, our love life inclusive.
She has had quite a number of relationships and got disappointed in all. I've had one relationship too.
There was a time I told her about my feelings towards her & she said she would have loved to accept my proposal but she couldn't handle double-dating. Well, I felt okay having let her know my feelings. I understood her decision & I don't think I was ready to be kept as a spare tyre, too. We moved on with our friendship.
We talked both clean and dirty stuff. She would even tell me anytime she felt Hot & needed to see her boyfriend for sex. In short, we are now having mixed feelings for one another. It could no longer be hidden on her face, too.
As a lady, she's expecting me to make the first advance. Making the move is not my problem but the thoughts of some dirty talks we've had together. The most worrying part was a time she got drunk with her friend at a birthday party & she mistakenly called one of her Ex-bfs (who she loved most) over & he took advantage of the moment to have his way with her again. Though she claimed she was not sure if something really happened between them but she noticed she had no pant on when she woke up in the morning, blablabla. To me, the guy is not that reliable as he is into drinking & smoking. She appears too innocent to be dating such a guy & I gave my advice. She might not really disclose all that transpired at the birthday party. [b] I kept thinking the guy could have recorded the act, knowing well that she's stark drunk. What if our relationship leads to marriage & the guy begins threatening her with sex-tape or he leaks any sex tape involving her, how would I go about it? Aside her other sex life, this is most worrisome of all.
My thinking/guess may be wrong, yet I do not want to be caught unaware, to avoid stories that touch later. This is a dilemma for me. I truly love her but my happiness matters a lot.[ /b]
Don't hesitate to advise a brother.
Kindly overlook any grammatical blunders.
Thanks To answer your main question. If you did marry, if a sex tape was recorded, and if the guy wanted to try blackmail--you will not be caught unawares, because you already suspect it. A blackmailer's secret weapon is your fear of exposure. If you're cool about it, like Jeff Bezos, that just takes the wind out of their sail. "Yeah, so what?" is not the answer they want from you! 1 Like |
| Religion / Re: Archaeology: Explorers '99.9% Sure' Remains Of Noah's Ark Is Discovered (Photos) by NiCurious: 11:58pm On Jul 26, 2020 |
DAYOODS:
Bros,your statement shows you are ignorant. When was Nigeria created ? During Lord Lugard's lifetime. |
| Politics / Re: Akeeb Semiu: Why I Wore Traditional ‘Fetish Armour’ In My Campaign Poster by NiCurious: 6:34pm On Jul 24, 2020 |
Following traditional beliefs is a guarantee against embezzlement? None of the current politicians who visit babalawo, embezzle funds? |
| Health / Re: Madagascar's Covid-Organics Can’t Cure COVID-19, Only Cures Cough – Ehanire by NiCurious: 5:02am On Jul 24, 2020 |
silicon:
with the said scam, how many casualties have they recorded. Please, make it available for those interested. At least it cures cough which is a component of covik-419 symptoms They have recorded 70 deaths to date. |
| Religion / Re: Man Writes Abuja 'Witches And Wizards' A Warning Letter (Photo) by NiCurious: 1:15am On Jul 24, 2020 |
kikero:
He just killed an innocent cat.
Just becacuse somewhere he read about how ' a witch came to a house, and manifested as cat and so on'.
Sometimes, I think we are not practicing christianity in Nigeria. We are practicing 'witchianity'.
If the Son sets you free, you are free indeed. Period. |
| Travel / Re: Boat Accident At Okrika Kalio Rivers, 16 Persons Rescued Alive (Graphic Photos) by NiCurious: 5:33pm On Jul 23, 2020 |
See lifejackets (though some not adjusted correctly). Everyone survived. If that capsized boatload of churchgoing youth had been wearing life jackets (zero were wearing lifejackets), maybe the survival rate would also have been above zero.
It would also have been good to put the rescued people in the recovery position (on their sides, supported by their bent knee and elbow. This would allow them to cough out any inhaled water, easily. Perhaps those in the photo chose their positions themselves. |
| Romance / Re: Please Help! I Have Over Dependent Girlfriend Relationship Is Demoralizing Me by NiCurious: 7:14pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
You have been able to see what the problem is after seeing several examples, yet you have not been smart enough to end the relationship. Do you need us to spell it out for you? All she wants is your money. She doesn't care about you. Only about herself. You are mumu enough to think that you can buy her affection. See where it's gotten you? Absolutely nowhere. If you'd kept the money you made (I hope it was earned money, not yahoo money or such), see how much further ahead you would be. You are smart enough to know that when money is in your hand, you become irresponsible with it. Especially when using it to try to buy security from this girl. See how she plays cruel or kind to you, depending on whether you're spending money on her? Get rid of the gold-digger "girlfriend". Just because she's your first, doesn't mean she's the best. Focus on improving yourself, understanding and overcoming your insecurities, and learning to be responsible with the money you make. I know far too many people who could use only half of the money you wasted, to turn their lives around. Olamila:
Let me not bore you guys with my relationship history but this girl is my first love, i met her while i was in school 300l. Ever since then i have always been there for her despite even having a low budget as student because I'm not from a wealthy home, even her parents has times10 more than my family. But despite that i try all i could to maintain my role in the relationship because i don't fancy myself asking anything from my girlfriend.
Before anything else i need to tell little about my girlfriend, she is beautiful and nice. Almost every guy wants to woo her and all of that. Aside of that my girlfriend is very stingy to me, she can never allow her anything be in my possession, she doesn't have this idea that we could end up one day though she will always say something close to it only during fun time. But when she is at her leisures she will say how she fancy how husband to be and all of that which i no I'm not the person she could had been referring to. That not even my major issue.
She always been cruel when she asks me for anything and i refuse to give her maybe i don't have or just don't see needs to do so.
I also discovered that most of our fun times comes immediately money enters my hand. Because i remember when i was in school my first 800k i made was finished and squandered with her, i haven't dated anyother or even have another girl since i met her. Because i try to make her feel comfortable because i no how many guys wish her to be with her. So secondly i made another 1m i squandered it with her too. But when this money just finish guyz i always see hell in her. This was the ups an downs i was experiencing till i finished my school with her. It was a shame for me upon the money i made in school i graduated with zero account looking for money for my law school. I wasn't fortunate to get any help so i sat back to Hustle. Then i was begging looking for helper to assist me when i saw one big opportunity that i need to take but it the opportunity required money as my account was bleeding zero. I begged everyone including my girlfriend but she told me she doesn't have even if she happened to get money for me i will pay her interest. This words alone made me cry, did you no instead of helping me out she told me I'm not the only one that needs help she also need to invest on her self which she was right i believe her. She later invested her money in one fraudulent sheme which she lost the money.
FastTrack to what is happening now, i later got help from someone who offered me 50k and my mum 20k making it 70k i picked myself up and started my Hustle again. Within three months i made 800k again. All this times i was giving her update about my business and earnings. Could you imagine she had the gut to ask for money despite her behaviors. Because of my nature i don't believe someone's bad nature should change my own nature so i still sent her some money because i also no she is broke.
Since then i just forgot about what she did and all of those stuffs because my money kept coming and i don't keep grudges i keep taking care of her. Now i had issue with my business i want to fix something up i was also telling her. this girl went ahead to start asking me to send her money. I was really disappointed i protested because i noticed when i have money i become very careless. It seems money covers so many things.
I just need advice because i think it is time to let her go coz with her nature and type of girl it might end in tears for me. All she do is stay on social media, snap and post and look for who will send her money. No skills, i have begged her several times to look for something to be doing she refused and tells me how her dad won't allow her. She doesn't listen to me, always feel like boss when little money enter her hand. Guys i really love her but i think it is time to seek help because i will regret if this continues. 1 Like |
| Crime / Re: Woman Defrauds Victims Of N179m, Uses N139m For Sport Betting, N1m To Pay Tithe by NiCurious: 6:13pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
Cumtroller:
Nkechi Mercy Ikogwe.
I doubt if this is her true name. Since when did people of Igbo extraction begin to have pronounced claw like tribal scars on their faces.
This is fraud. A calculated attempt to smear a particular tribe
Gutter journalism . May or may not be her true name, but I don't see any scarring on her face. Have you never seen the lines on a sunken face, before? |
| Family / Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by NiCurious: 3:24am On Jul 21, 2020 |
bukatyne:
We need to update Social Studies text book with all the 'fathers toil day and night, mothers are at home' posts I am seeing all over this thread.
Wives don't work same hours with these fathers? Abi there is a special closing time for men and women?
If we talk of hustling jobs, women don't also stay long hours in the market or cooking?
Yet they manage to know what is going on on their kids' lives. They manage to impact training to the kids.
Fathers, go the extra mile and learn intentional parenting if you don't do so.
And the men wonder why they are easily replaceable once the mothers start earning well enough.
When your presence and absence is same thing once someone else can provide the cash . What you wrote in the bolded cuts to the heart of so, so many discussions here on Nairaland. As a one defines one's self, so one limits one's self. |
