₦airaland Forum

And, by extended logic, another man is quite possibly training your own child, if the op is correct.

If you want to avoid being a daddy, to your own or to others' children, use a condom. That also avoids sharing STDs around between you and your other girlfriends, talk less of sharing babies around with her other boyfriends.

Meanwhile, to anyone finding himself training a kid that isn't his...for the innocent child's sake, take it as a compliment that you were chosen as the fittest role model. Under your guidance, that child could turn out to be a winner, and do you proud. Own that.

That must have been some extraordinary sacking, to be able to contain quick, thin spirit. Ordinary petrol jugs designed for the purpose, are always leaking at the cap.
One little puncture, one little dribble, from just one sack...

Danrizzle:
Who interracial copulation epp, the white man did well abeg. Interracial copulation is a genocide against the original races; if its trend is allowed to continue a little longer, generations to come would surely contend with preserving an extincting race.
Parents, society, and even the government should discourage the profanity of interracial copulation.

Naaah...interracial mixing will help broaden the human gene pool, and reduce heritable conditions like sickle cell anemia, as one example. If everyone were part of a homogenous "human race", that would get rid of racism.
If we accept that Africa was the cradle of the human race, does it not follow that the other "races" are simply genetic derivations of the made-in-Africa human template?
If we instead accept that God made Adam and Eve, does it not follow that we are all the descendants of that first couple?
Whether following creationism or evolution, the differing races are just derivatives of the whole potential human genotypes and phenotypes.

The English term "loose woman" may go back to the time when women wore corsets, tightly laced undergarments. "Loose women" (promiscuous, or of easy virtue) tended not to tie up their undergarments tightly...just loosely...hence, they were "loose women". Or so I have been told.

-Even if the above explanation is not true, vaginal tightness/looseness is not a result of how much sex a woman has had, but how tight the muscles of her pelvic floor are, as Offpoint noted. Kegel exercises (google that) can tighten those muscles. The reason that would be a popular google search, is that sex is more pleasurable for a woman if she has strong, tight muscles there.
-Also, a girl or woman might be nervous or tense or reluctant, making her vagina tight on that occasion.
-Engorgement of the vaginal tissues will also have an effect on how tight the vagina feels. That is, the degree to which her body is turned on and prepared for intercourse. Engorgement can vary with the menstrual cycle, as well.

Not only lying, but lying, with his hand on the Quran, perjuring himself before God. And then turning around and using the same Quran to justify having up to four wives. Cherry picking for his convenience. I'm sorry to say, your cousin is insisting on ruining his own life. If he is capable of lying to that lady, whom he would need to have a solid grounding of trust with, as his wife and mother of his child, what dishonesty is he capable of, with people more loosely connected with him? The lady did not overreact in reporting him.

I wonder how they're getting home, in that condition.

I feel your disappointment, have experienced similar myself...cleaning the house top to bottom to fool someone into thinking I'm tidy, only for them to not show up...with or without calling. Then I look on the bright side: my house looks wonderful, at least! Next we speak, I thank them for tricking me into tidying my house.

This story doesn't add up. It doesn't sound true, and I hope it isn't.
1. How would anyone know if the girls were wearing pants or not, without making a point to look under their skirts?
2. Is it common procedure at that school to look under the skirts of latecomers? Please explain?
3. Who has the right to check if they are wearing pants? Whose business is it?
4. If the mother is so ashamed, why is she advertising the story on social media?
5. "Pride goeth before a fall." The mother is tying her own image to that of her daughter, and is guilty of the sin of pride in her own way.
6. The daughter's behaviour (that nobody would know about without an invasive search) can be a reflection of her upbringing. Looks to me like a silent, invisible act of teenage rebellion. Who here can honestly say that they haven't done such, themselves? From a stolen cigarette, to a forbidden kiss, to secretly listening to music your parents hated...c'mon. Be honest.

sodiqapril:
Hey guys, can anyone advice me on what do..I'm always hungry even after eating a heavy meal. Like today for example, I ate five wraps of fufu and two hours later I was already feeling hungry. And it's really affecting me, I'm not greedy buy no matter what I eat it digests so fast that my stomach starts rumbling . Please help me.

Are you getting a balanced diet? One cannot live on fufu alone. Do you eat meat, vegetables, yams, etc.? Your body will crave nutrition that it's not getting. You must give it variety to satisfy its needs.

Another possibility is that you have a Vitamin B12 deficiency, for whatever reason, and your intestines are simply not absorbing the food properly. Try taking Vitamin B12 methylcobalamine pills. If your body doesn't need it, it will simply pass through; it is not harmful to take it.

You could also go to the doctor to see if you have some other medical issue that's making you hungry all the time.

Graxie:
Nairaland boys with confusion, you are against marrying single mom, yet you are angry that this lady refuse to be a single mom. Oga op, for 4years you didn't do introduction but you want to now just to tie her down. Nairaland boys insults women that are jobless or not having career, yet you are angry because this woman wants to help her future. Are you looking for Nigeria? Look no further, come to nairaland. Hypocrite and chameleon. A lady wrote about no sex before marriage, nairaland boys came for her, claiming sex means nothing and she is not a virgin. Now, this is the consequences of sex, you can claim to be using condoms, it only takes one bursting and pregnancy is sure. You hate abortion but enjoy fornication. What a society.

Unfortunately because your post is on page 5 already, probably nobody will read it, even though they really should.

PerseDew:
What gets me tired is the way guys and girls will be chanting how they must have sex in a relationship but when it results to pregnancy in this unfavorable economy for the majority, you will realise that a lot of them are just clueless adults and when the girl or her family decides to abort, the guy turns to one holy Nweje talking of how he can't partake in murder but can put someone's life on hold without marriage and bring a baby to this country to live a life of chance.

This. Loud it.

[i]The Brain That Changes Itself [/i]by Norman Doidge starts with a discussion about a matter similar to yours. It's been years since I read it, but it discusses retraining your brain away from addiction, and almost certainly mentions the kind of therapy that will help.
Best success to you in your quest.

Try meeting the eye of the camera and smiling. Pretend the camera is not a lens in a metal box, but a dear friend you've just reunited with. Then you won't need to ask other people's opinions of your profile picture. You'll like it, yourself.

Is this a prank post? I'm finding it hard to believe.
Assuming it's true: I've never heard from someone with so little foresight as to the consequences of their actions. Seek counselling to learn impulse control. That seems to be the core of your problems. Doing that will help you avoid bringing about countless situations as bad, and worse, that you will face over your life, if you don't learn to stop at just thinking you'd like to do something.

zyzxx:
what will you now be talking about?

Or he should keep mute?

It's about striking a balance. Do you want to hear your date talk nonstop about how great they are, tell you everything they accomplished since winning the running race in primary school?
Say No to Verbal Diarrhoea. Let the other person talk too! And save some information about yourself to entertain your date with, next time you meet.

Hmmmm…. Poor economy, so the girls find a way to turn their home-grown assets into capital. They are selling their product to get cash flow from an external source to boost their domestic economy, to pay their legitimate bills, without paying a middleman (love-vendor). An efficient business model, even if one might not relish the business.
Let government take a lesson, and boost exports of home-grown assets to bring in foreign currency and a trade surplus, to pay for their own obligations, and get rid of fraudulent government officers that are living on the wealth of the nation, like pimps. Then the economy might improve, and there would be fewer graduate runs girls, and more female engineers, doctors, etc. in their chosen fields.

Abujaexpress:
My fellow employers in the house, I crave your indulgences to be guided on this issue, thus:
I employed a lady as my secretary. She had worked for about 3 months before she failed to resume work on a particular day and all my phone calls to her were not answered by her. [/b]After a few days, a friend that brought and guaranteed her employment with my firm called me that the girl said I shouted at her and flinged a document towards her, as a result of which she left.

The following day, I called the girl, this time around she picked, albeit reluctantly and I told her that since she has refused to show up at work, she should return the office key which was with her. [b]A few days later, I did not know when she sneaked into the complex and gave the key to my neighbour, which he delivered to me.

I subsequently called the girl and asked her if she does not want to work again, she simply said that she is attending to her health in her village. I did not hear from her since then untill the 2nd of the following month, December when she called me to request for transfer of her salary to her. I initially asked her to come to office to resign and handover officially for me to work out her salary, but I later allowed human feelings to take hold me and I calculated/substracted the numbers of days she did not work for that month and transferred the balance to her.

Immediately she called to thank me and she again called on new day to wish me a happy new year.

Then suddenly on the 3/01/2020, she sent me a message that she would pls want to talk with me. I agreed to listen to her. She called me to say if I have not employed another secretary, that she would want to resume and that if I will allow her to work with me again. I simply told her that I would look into it and get back to her. Am yet to give her field back.

The issue now is, considering the nature of her leaving work AWOL, and now calling to beg to come back, should I accept her back or I should her engage a different person (already I have some applications for the job on my table).

N. B. Kindly note that her brief stay in my office have exposed the girl as a dishonest fellow and her penchant for excuses from office citing sickness and flimsy excuses is very her.

I need advice please.

Why are you even asking for advice? What is not clear? She failed to show up, failed to pick your call, and it wasn't because she was unconscious in hospital after a traffic accident and unable to. She left with no notice and no reason, sneaks back the key instead of facing you, then makes nice to you to ask for the job back that she left, because apparently you shouted at her? With all the possible better employees happy to take work, you are even thinking of taking this one back?
Next time, please avoid shouting at your employee (if you even did); workplace discussions should be professional, as matured adults.

Well, if I was your Bae, I would be happy with the cake I got. It looks yummy!
I understand that the product was misrepresented which is not the right way to advertise. But that is between you and the baker.
I'm sure your Bae is happy!

If you were in a bar and you weren't drinking, maybe that would be a sin!

Situation001:
Shocking details posted on Facebook has got many people angry and slamming the man for humiliating his wife and her family, read the details posted below by Sandra Ibeh and lets know your opinion, was the man right?
.
Sandra Ibeh Posted :

Tomorrow is 31st December 2019 and the last day of this decade. While some are in celebration mood, a man has decided to humiliate a whole family by pulling out of his church and traditional wedding scheduled for tomorrow somewhere in Anambra because his bride to be cheated on him 2 months back.
.
In as much as I am not in support of what the bride did, I equally condemned the groom's last-minute decision. He knew that his bride cheated on his since October and didn't confront her. He went along with the marriage preparation putting the lady through so many stress while he remained in England hatching his evil plan.
.
He came back to Abuja on the 28th and told his mother this morning that he's not going ahead with the wedding.
.
The painful part of this whole thing is that he's acting as if he's doing the right thing. Spoke with him, he was laughing and the next thing he said was that I can provide my brother to take his place since everything is in place. He carefully planned to humiliate this girl and her family and to be honest, this is wrong.
.
Bride to be has been crying uncontrollably in the village. She admitted that she made a mistake and she regrets her action. She had more to drink during her friend's birthday and ended up sleeping with one of their mutual friends (action she greatly regrets) without knowing that it was a setup. The next day pictures were sent to her fiance and he held on to it and acted normal until today.
.
I asked him why he kept quiet and continued with the preparation, he said that he wants the girl to feel the kind of pain he felt when he saw the pictures.
.
I honestly think that what he's doing is wrong and insulting to both his family and the bride's family because both families have been preparing for this wedding and are ready until he called this morning to cancel.
.
Every other person is against his decision except his older brother but he's not ready to change his stance.
.
This is not the kind of news one should be hearing at the end of the year. It's painful and annoying.

Meanwhile, the girl said that he had cheated on her before and she forgave him.
.
My question is, why can't he forgive her too and call it even? Why grandstand? asked the poster..
.

https://mobile.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10219109943432415&id=1021399118&refid=17&_ft_=mf_story_key.10219109943432415%3Atop_level_post_id.10219109943432415%3Atl_objid.10219109943432415%3Acontent_owner_id_new.1021399118%3Athrowback_story_fbid.10219109943432415%3Astory_location.4%3Athid.1021399118%3A306061129499414%3A2%3A0%3A1577865599%3A-5882944422975432997&__tn__=%2AW-R

Did y'all read to the bottom? Can't say I condone her cheating, BUT, apparently he had cheated too, and she forgave him. He is not capable of forgiving as well? No? In that case, he should rather cancel the wedding plans back in October already, and not set her up to see if she will fall the way he did. Maybe this is a sneaky way of his to marry the one he cheated with, and make it all look like the bride's fault...and put her family and his own to great inconvenience and expense in the process. What kind of a guy is that? One who cares about nothing but himself and his own appearances. Not a great loss to her, in the long run.

Yakira:
About sending the student out of the class, I've taught before so I have a lil bit of experience, some students are actually waiting and praying for you to send them out, even during my secondary school days, We had classmates that would be glad to be sent out[b] especially when it was a class or a teacher everyone dreaded [/b]

Hmmm...some of that might be immaturity on the students' part, at least as far as a dreaded subject goes. Because it doesn't get easier to learn by not attending class.
BUT, when the[i] teacher[/i] is the cause of students wishing to be sent out...that is counter productive! So much for instilling understanding or a desire to learn...in such a case, it sounds like the teacher is a discredit to the school, and should consider a different profession. Imagine paying school fees to support a teacher who by their actions, effectively discourages students from attending class!

hopismo2000:
I have taught in schools for many years and if there is something that I have learnt it is that no one method is sufficient when dealing with a child. In extreme cases, caning may be needed.... for those that are clearly against beating.... They should realize the fact that students of nowadays are very intelligent.... I have a friend who always threaten his child that he would beat him if he misbehaves just to make him behave and it works until the child discovers that it's just an empty threat, this boy told his friends about his father's threat and how he knows that the father would never do such, I happened to hear the conversation and told the father, so when they got to where the father was the father just gave him a light beating . since then he understood that the father means business whenever he tells him to behave.....

It's the emptiness of the threat of discipline, that's the problem, whatever the threat happened to be.

hopismo2000:
[url][/url][i][/i].....
I have thought in schools for more than 7 years... for those that said caning should not be used... what would you do if you do if you have a serial raper as your students? what would you do if you told a student to stand up because of her unseriousness in the class and she tells you no.... what would you do if a student fatally injure another student and you are reported to... and these are students you constantly preach to

Have you thought in schools, or taught in schools? Are you indeed a teacher?
For heaven's sake, rape and manslaughter are criminal issues, not for a teacher to deal with by caning!
As for unseriousness…send the student out of class, with assignments still due, without her benefitting from the lectures...either she will fail because she is unserious, or beg to return to class because she is ready to become serious. Either way, the disruption in class will stop, and when she takes the decision to return...it will not be by force, but by the beginning of wisdom.

Reference:
Violence is the preserve of the ignorant.
Parents that have to be physical with their kids do so because they lack the mental capacity and competence to 'train' and nuture. So the advice:

Plan well ahead of child bearing.
Start forming the mind and character early.
Have deliberate objectives and set specific goals.
Create the right domestic atmosphere for the nourishment of the mind.
Lead and live by example.

Big donot. Donot form the mentality of punishing what you may term wrongdoing and rewarding what you may term right behaviour. That is an unfortunate introduction to the destructive human nature of fear and greed. Donot trade with their minds. Rather reason with them exolaining why wrong is wrong and right is right, period. Appeal to their conscience as they grow into self consciousness.

This above, that you say so well--maturity of mind is needed to be a parent.
Raise the child up, don't beat him down. There's a big difference between the two.
A comparison I like to use is a fruit tree: (as the twig is bent, so the branch grows). You plant a tree that you want to bear fruit. Do you water it, pull out the weeds around it, fertilize it, and train the branches to the direction you want them to grow? Or do you stick the tree in the ground and ignore it until a branch pokes you, then cut off the branch because it annoys you, and keep doing that until there are no branches left?

sprints1:
see them ooo pioneers of Laissez-faire approach to discipline... I see baseless points listed above.. You were flogged during your days but now you are against it.. Flogging is an SCT of drilling a child let the child feel the pain of doing something bad..my child stole money and you think I wont beat the child blue black..abeg stop this nonsense campaign of saying flogging is wrong...

My parents didn't flog me, but I know what blows feel like. And supposing they flogged me as a child, and I was against it now--wouldn't that speak volumes about how useless and ineffective I found it?

I remember what worked, and why.

First, teach children from a young age not to steal. (Teach them what stealing IS, as the very youngest will have no understanding...nor will they have empathy yet, to understand what it is like to be stolen from.) The child stole something? Take them to the person they stole from, make them apologize to them in front of you, and give the thing back. They can't give back money they stole? Make them work to earn it, then take them to give it back. Go ahead and scold them. Go ahead and take back any privileges until they make reparation. Give them unpleasant jobs that they normally take for granted that someone else will do. The temporary inconvenience of a flogging is nothing, compared to the prolonged discomfort of being "in trouble". The flogging can be endured, forgotten. Being in disgrace, not so much.

For those in favour of flogging...why is it that there are children who are flogged, yet who grow up "undisciplined" or "immoral", while other children who were not flogged, grow up with discipline and a strong moral compass?
Flogging is not a substitute for guidance, explanation of why to do or not do something, nor proper training; and it is certainly not a substitute for leading by example.
At best, flogging conditions a behaviour through fear, but not by teaching how it is good to behave this way or that. Think about it. Which do you respond to better? "I wash the dishes right after supper, because otherwise I will be flogged" versus "I wash the dishes right after supper, because it is my job in the family, to keep the kitchen clean for mother, so it is ready for when she cooks for us." Which method do you think is more likely to lead to the child spontaneously choosing to be helpful in other ways?

Ornament2003:
That's the filter. Ideally, the filter should run continuously in the pool. Fresh water comes in and dirty particles are removed through the underground filter. And the cycle continues. Laymen call it pump. But it's the filter. And that's a normal thing in a standard pool. I rarely swim in pools without functional filter!

I repeat, no good Swimmer could drown at just about 7 feet swimming pool.

Well...actually...it is possible to drown in just 3 inches of water. If you're wondering how, think of being unconscious in a bathtub. If the girl fell into the pool and tried to take a breath at the same moment as she went under water, she would have lungs full of water and be in distress. If father went in after and she clutched at his neck for her own safety, this is often how would-be rescuers become victims themselves. Along with learning how to swim, learning water rescue is highly advisable.

HazzanTazzan:
Vasectomy is an irreversible step and I can get you no sane human will consider that unless in medically critical condition that only vasectomy can solve...


So let's be truthful here, 99.99% will say NO to vasectomy just because they want to avoid more children

Ah, so they lack the courage of their convictions...
I will leave you and this issue alone now. Peace and good night.

HazzanTazzan:
I'd stick to family planning and aborting if it fails at any point ...

Why remove the feature totally?

What if the need arises in future in case of unforseen havoc?

Thank you for your explanation. If that is what works best for you, use it. Let's hope it does, indeed, work. The unforeseen havoc you refer to...there are a lot of ifs, ands, and buts I can imagine, but discussing that would be a long side-journey on someone else's thread.

uninspired07:
Lol....this is funny. I will pass, thanks.

Why is it funny, and why do you choose to pass, after all this talk of keeping to only a 2 or 3 kids? Seriously.

HazzanTazzan:
Wtf... Will you do such thing to yourself and your wife?

Learn to think thru and your advise before dishing it out ...

Yes, I would. To me, preventing conception of unwanted children is preferable to aborting them.
Also, I did not ADVISE you to have a vasectomy. I pointed it out as an option. Choosing such may fit with the values of others reading this thread, who are considering their options for keeping the size of their family within limits.

HazzanTazzan:
I have 2 already... a male and a female and that's it...

No more...

God help me raise them better than my parents raised me ...

If my wife get a pregnant, na to abort

Since you know you've got all the children you want, having a vasectomy done would remove the risk of more children by accident, and avoid abortion.