₦airaland Forum

Wyttcat:
The Okoyes family is clanish and will not rest until there's divorce between Peter and his wife. They just can't stand him marrying a Yoruba woman plus the fact that he Peter is and will remain the most successful among the trio. I hope Peter cuts them loose finally and focus on his family, they are not a true and loving family otherwise they won't be working to destroy his life. I really hope Yoruba are watching how ibos treat Yoruba daughters married to them and pay them in kind.

EOD.
That's just the major ish, they never wanted him to marry her from the onset and they don't want to move on after these years and 2 children.

If you want to see the good side of a man with one wife don't fight his wife. You try to diss my spouse you are looking for my wrath its that simple.It doesn't really matter who you are.

Very very easy, just that if you are a male church member you go to the females church and fulfill all their marital requirements and if you are a female the bro will come and fulfill all the requirements. Marriage committee etc etc.

In fact if you intend to get wedded in my church and your parents(if they belong to another denomination) disapprove of the marriage solemnization being conducted in my church you will fulfill all the requirements here counselling medicals etc and you go for your solemnization in your parents church we will carry gele and follow you.

Where they will have issues is when it seems you are marrying from a controversial church.

MrBigiman:
Thanks. So far I have managed to save 800k. I told the lady we should try and budget 500k, so we still have some change but she claim I don't value her and says I should step it up to 1.4m. She also say I must buy a ride, DAT she can't be married and trekking.

Bros both of you are not on the same page and its not a good sign.

Step it up from 500k to 1.4m haba nau, a whole 900k difference.

1.4 m is not a big deal to some couples but you just can't afford it which is not a bad thing, some people are even looking for less than 500k for their own wedding.

Whatever you do make sure both of you are on the same page.

walesalak:
Watabout half plot

Will have to confirm availability.

Kindly send a PM.

A lot of silly people on this thread, its beginning to piss me off.

Operation blame the lady, if he lent money from the bank or LAPO microfinance let him tell them about his ego,self pride, the business is not out of the woods yet and that he's stressed out as if they won't destress him by coming after his assets.

Too much naija mentality on this thread, you borrow money and it becomes a pain to pay back , calls you are avoiding explain you are not explaining.

He was even the one that requested for her to invest things went wary and then production went back to normal, the dude didn't seem it fit to gradually pay back his investor.


That guy is an irresponsible one.

Lot of boys parading themselves as men on this thread.

Now they are saying "mere 500k" its just pissing me off. You call 500k ordinary.

franchuks:
Hi, are the plots of land still available? Sent you a PM and you are yet to respond.

Will check and reply now sorry for the mixup.

Modified - PM replied.

franchuks:
Hi, are the plots of land still available? Sent you a PM and you are yet to respond. Kindly call me. on 0.8.1.3.7.2.7.9.Three.Six.Six
Your number had not been reachable

Yeah still available will check my mail now.

Modified- PM replied .

Tuham:
The guy did wrong for not picking calls bro but that doesn't mean he had duped her. They've been in a relationship for long bro and how about looking things in a different way like; the guy might not have found his feet back

So he can't open his mouth to say he has not gotten back to his feet, no picking of calls no communication because of that? If he had communicated to her she won't be thinking of the word dupe, you go blank on your fiancee because of money.


Its an irresponsible person that does that.

Silly people everywhere as usual they must blame the woman.

When I say nairalanders have comprehension issues it seems I exaggerate .
It seems people didn't read where she said things have returned back to normal in the company after the engineers worked on the problem.

No explanations , not picking calls is a bad signal and shows signs of irresponsibility, I wouldn't advice anyone to marry such a person

Madam OP your 500k has dissapeared , count your losses, try to get the little you can get back .

Some people are saying ordinary 500k as if they can lend it out 10k that they lend someone they will be screaming to the heavens.

Nonsense.

Abeg they should not strike ooo, the hospitals will be practically paralyzed.

What kind of terrible family is this, any little thing they come online to display, even if its a stunt don't they respect their family name.

As for those blaming lola Una no dey rest, same story for a long time, the twins will be displaying their stupidity they will be blaming lola simply because she's Yoruba. What kind of vengeful people are this.

Even if he offended his family by marrying lola is it not time to forgive?

Na wa oo

Beverly1:
going to church is not a doctrine......but so many things everybody know about his church.....he had a big fight when I was 23 for using a sun shade in a photo that I had to leave r house for 2weeks....
I just wish he would see life in a different way.

Just let it slide, even the past things he has done that hurt you let them go.

Elderly people some times see things their own way you just have to manage them that's all.

chii8:
My dear,op,thread jeje oo, most nigerian papa are like that ooo,travelled to see my father with my kids, this long vac, on the first night,I did midnight prayer,in the following morning my father rebuked me for not praying for one hour (in my mind, I was like shey this man dey count how many hours wey I take dey pray ni) throughput my stay with them, praying became difficult cos I will be feeling that someone is somewhere counting the number of hours I used in praying.

Our old folks are wonderful people, you just can't get angry at them.

Well its the intention that matters, in their mind they are looking out for us, that's what I use to console myself.

So Sorry OP

I won't be surprised if the government has made provision for all those things but some ogas at the top are "eating" the money.

A lot of corruption takes place in state and federal owned hospitals, it seems its only Lagos state that has been able to curb corruption in their hospitals to a reasonable extent.

We are our problem in this country.

Bros you cut ties with your father because of this, you are even in another country so why are you even bothering yourself.

Going to church on Sunday is not a religious doctrine in my opinion, a lot of Nigerian parents do that, it may be to the extreme me but in his mind he is looking out for your spiritual well-being.He's just doing what an average Nigerian pastor parent would do.Its important to him (maybe not to you) that's why he's asking.

Will he use cane to flog you if you don't go to church -NO . so why breaking ties with him because he asked for the number of times you attended, you either answer or laugh over it.

It doesn't make much sense to cut communication with him because of this, he's still your father you can always have your way around him and ignore some of those things. You are not even in naija so why the huffing and puffing.

People have worse parents but still its not advisable to cut them off, you deal with them in wisdom.

A lot of Nigerian parents do things that piss their married children off but you deal with them with wisdom.
Elderly people are to be treated wisely don't hurt him abeg.


Its an irrelevant issue

Seems people don't know what a forensic lab is, why shouting paternity test up and down.

You gave him wifey duties so now he's having no need to make it official.

1. Consider other options, if there are other men that are asking you for marriage pls begin to consider them.
2. Please stop wifey activities, sex etc etc.


Whatever you do don't pressure him

mabea:
Your advise is based on hypothesis. You only work base on the informations you were given. Trust me if you think the lady is acting this way in order to push the op be a man you will be making a mistake.

I never said she's pushing the OP to be a man, based on the info he gave its not hate, its just power play.

And the irony of it is that most men never know.

Nairalanders will never forget an incident, no matter how long it happened.

broswilli:
Let me contribute a bit. I don't know ur wife. I don't know ur sisters, but Women are a bit different from men believe it or not. Your wife wants a man not controlled by his sisters, if she fells you are controlled by them she will eventually hate you

Your sisters will definitely want to control you, without regarding that you are now a man. Your wife will hate that. If they are contributing to the marriage ceremonies don't let your wife know. After the wedding or right now start turning down some of the request of ur sisters, like little brother can you help to pick my husband from the airport.

Please note that women control Men and most times the men don't know. Their husbands may complain, "You are disturbing ur younger brother too much", and their reply would be, "Don't worry he is my younger brother".

No Woman wants to marry a man controlled by another Woman or Man. If he is to be controlled then they should do the controlling.

Watch yourself if you have madr these mistakes if not you know what to do, the other post has already mentioned useful decisions to make.

1000 likes.

When they say men should be man enough they think its only about financial responsibilities

I just pity the OP, no matter who he marries this same issue will crop up again.

What is happening is simply power play and I am surprised the OP is not seeing this.

When you are an only son surrounded by sisters your head has to be 101% correct or else..... if you are not careful you will see one party as the enemy and most times its not so. Same power play also happens with mothers in law and daughters in law.

amliftedhigher I think I need a new definition of the word hate.


She hardly visit your sis in the same city?
She grumbled when your sis brought a vendor of lower price?
Doesnt Discuss anything with them, (I am suspecting marriage plans) is that really necessary?
she visited your family once before the trad and so?
She's not happy when you discuss with them on phone(I am sure this also has to do with wedding plans, what you are suppose to plan with her is it your sisters that's doing it?)


Has she said your sisters can't visit you guys after marriage?
Has she insulted them openly in your presence, or even outrightly blasted them.

This your own definition of hate get as e be.


If your sister has to tell you that you should give your wife good money for wedding gown then she may be right about the controlling aspect, some things are not really necessary.

They told me to...
They told me to...
Na so e dey start.

I don't know how they plan weddings where you come from oo, but I think some decisions about some things should be taken by you and wifey.

Guy be smart, you should be smart enough to know how to manage your sisters and your wifey, 5 sisters and one wife is not easy to manage that's just the simple truth, your sisters will always want to tell you what to do, its natural wifey too will always want you to do what she says, if you don't manage this well you will have a disaster in your hands. Its not about your sister loving your wife and vice versa its about boundaries now that has to be respected, this one you are saying is not hate at all. If you jam correct hater you won't even have time to type on nairaland.

Re evaluate yourself, and how you see her view your family. Some people are not very mushy about their own relatives and in-laws, its not even hate, some live in the city and don't see themselves for even a year.

Except there are other things your wife does apart from all you be stated on this thread.

By the way you are married oo, if you divorce this lady and marry another you will most likely have the same challenge again. Women and wahala are 5 and 6.

yinkslinks:
Traditional Marriage is nothing and can still be broken.

Traditional marriage is nothing lool and lool, don't deceive the poor guy abeg. He is as married as the word married. I just don't know why we have this mentality that trad marriage is not marriage, may God deliver us oo.

Winning01:
Thanks to all the people that patronised me.

I still have several stuff like bookshelves, small drawers, mirrors, tv stands, rugs and 1 more 4 by 6 bed.

I also have 2 Samsung 1hp ACs for sale at 47k each.

Location is Ajah but i can meet up with you in some areas on the mainland based on availabilty.

Check my earlier posts for pictures.

Check my profile for contact details.

Madam called your number severally but you didn't pick.

Jazmiynne:
Whoa! Op this thread reeks of persimism and I can only imagine the depth of your current confusion. I'd feel same too if I were you...

I studied Biochemistry at the Bsc level and then focused on the environmental aspect of Bch at the MSc level.

I'd say you pause from all of these advice and ask yourself "what's my plan?"
The reason being that something must have made you consider those two courses while applying for Jamb. So think about it...
What is that picture you had painted in your mind? The picture you feel that a path in biochemistry/MCB would help you fulfill?

When you identify the final destination you are headed, it becomes easier to chose a path. And in trying to identify this final destination, listen to your passion without of cos ignoring the reality. Lose or win, acceptance of the reality can make you succeed at a rather difficult cause or completely deter you from it.


Now this is what I know as the reality:

* Indeed, getting a job in Nigeria either as Bch/Mcb graduate is not easy, but hey where is it really easy?

* Truly the reality above is worsened by the fact that there's really no BCH/MCB specialized field here in Nigeria. Which of cos means that if you plan to settle abroad, u have no worries cos the courses are hotcake over there.

* Indeed the presence of MLS has worsened reality number 1 especially since many graduates of BCH/MCB hope to work in the lab. The MLS guys have used their association brouhaha to ensure its only their MLS people that near labs, in fact they won't even allow you do IT in a lab sef.

* However, with all the gloom, there is light. If you want to practice Quality Control, I'd say fire down with any of both. Although I have to tell you that getting a QC job isn't easy as almost all the BCH/MCB peeps want this job and employers value experience (which you can get during your IT or through an internship after graduation). Some others do medical sales rep job for pharmaceutical firms before eventually settling into QC. And once they get it, they ain't in a hurry to move. The good news is that the Quality Control/Assurance department has come to stay in the manufacturing industry. So while it may be difficult to secure, the role is ever present. You can work in just as good as anywhere there's manufacturing: pharmaceutical firm, breweries, Fmcgs, Bakeries, Restaurants, Paint firms, in fact anywhere they are producing something. If you start on time to grow your depth in QC, know all the Jurans of the field, you would so love it.

* On the other hand, you may want to venture into HSE/Environmental studies. This is another ripe pasture. The world is going green and slow as it may be, Nigeria is not left behind. In this case I'd say you choose BCH and then do Environmental as MSc. It's a very interesting field. But, if you have no plans for MSc, you could decide to study Environmental straight during BSc. Although its a wider exposure for you to do BCH Bsc and then Environmental MSc.

* However, if your plan was to venture into medicals e.g hospitals or laboratories, this is the time to reconsider. There is no space for BCH/MCB there. The space is clogged up already as almost every graduate of Basic medical sciences believes their 'calling' is in a lab or hospital. No think am, MLS ti take over

* If your plan was to venture into the food part of Biochemistry, why not go fully into food science straight up? Cos I believe you would get more food related knowledge and exposure there. That's because in BCH everyone learns same thing until final year where you get to choose which aspect you like and even then, I feel like it's the basics of the food science they touch. However, if you have MSc plans then go ahead to do BCH first and then food as your MSc that provides wider exposure for you.

* If you also want to do academics, fire down. Only that this path isn't for the faint-hearted. You would need to do BSc and MSc in the same course for most schools. Note that if academics is not your path, do not make the mistake of doing BSc Biochemistry & MSc Biochemistry collabo (same for MCB)... That is a sure path towards frustration.

* Another reality is that, if you indeed choose any of both courses, make sure to excel at your grades and come tops. Anything short of a 2.1 greatly reduces your success chances and increases chances of frustration. People are going to tell you the courses are difficult - BCH for the insane diagrams of pathways and MCB for the jaw-breaking names of microbes. But hey, which course is easy really?

I wish you success.

Now this is someone that studied biochemistry , the most important part is get a good grade, find out which part exactly you want to go into.

BCH is vast , very vast and you can fit into a lot of places, the only factor is time and chance which is applicable to any course you studied.

Environmental part of biochemistry is looking like the next big thing.

Research in Nigeria, I think its dead.


The only reason I don't like MLS is because you can only work in a lab there are jobs available though but even the very good ones are not easy to get.I also think food science is a bit limiting to study as a course, what if you don't have opportunities in the food industry. People should go for flexible courses abeg.

rightwingz:
Oni and the yorubas talking bad about this woman should be ashamed of themselves.

1. This woman is not marry many times as speculated. Co-habitation with a boyfriend is not marriage.
2. We should be talking of a man that divorced 2 times under 12 months.

If this Olori is bad, is the other lady too bad? so only Oni is righteous
If this Olori married 20 times as people claim, was the other lady divorced by Oni married many times too?

Oni should respect himself, A king is not suppose to divorce every 6 months but its allowed for a king to marry many wives.
I wonder whos sister is next to be victimize by Oni.

According to what I heard the ooni first wife left, she wasn't in support of him being ooni, they had been together for years.It was not really because of any problem between them it was the issue of kingship, they did try to convince her to stay according to the reports.

I guess she couldn't cope with that life. Not everybody can ,in fact I wouldn't advice my sister to marry the ooni.

Don't bring tribal coloration to this, wura too was not exactly a saint.

As much as its easy to say it was infidelity or even battering fom the ooni that caused their seperation , I think it was more of expectations cut short, life of a queen is not always glam(especially that of a king like ooni).

The principles of marriage does not really apply to their marriage, he can have as many wives as he wants, concubines etc etc. He is king. Do people think that the ooni first wife was foolish when she left, as a daughter of Yoruba she knew what it means to marry the ooni, she knew what was involved I guess that's why she quietly left, not everyone can live that life in reality. I believe it takes someone who is kind of accostumed to that kind of life to cope with it. Rituals involved nko, not everyone can also deal with that too.


You see the glamour and prestige attached to it and put your head and get stuck, I guess she didn't know the downsides.I had thought they said she was a princess in her town she should know how the thing is now.

The fact that the wura had a very colorful past and the oba was warned doesn't even help matters at all.

Even if she's free, a lot of Nigerian men would be very skeptical to have any thing to do with her, she should have just stayed with her Lebanese guy jeje.

Not everyone is cut of for that kind of life.

.

luluman:
My point is show bible quotation to argue in Christianity not just argue.If you don't have any, then shhhhhhh.

You have not answered my question, I can as well ask you to show me a quotation that invalidates a registry marriage (in fact any form of marriage at all) but I won't.

Now I will ask - Show me any biblical quotation that invalidates a registry wedding, tell me that if you are married at the registry the marriage is not acceptable before God ,Tell me that if you are married at the registry you can go and marry another person because the marriage is not valid in Gods eyes then we can take it from there.

You don't need to be rude you know, E never reach fight I don't argue Christianity, I discuss. No need for snide comments, if you can't do without that pls don't reply.

Prestige2050:
This comment is completely correct bt the problem is with the parent not understanding all dis also with the females and churches also add día own to the commotion. Some churches will go as far as telling an individual that if u r not married in a church, u r not married yet.

Yeah I do understand, some churches will even frown at you if you don't do a church solemnization but biblically marriage is when you go and see the parents and give them whatever they ask you to bring to marry their daughter. All other things na feferity.

Bible is our standard

If you now want all other jamboree you are allowed but I get pained when people say if you have not done church wedding you are not married. This is part of the reason why fornication is rampart nowadays , If it I s just to give the parents of the girl what they require , feed the people that came to the little occasion and carry your wife and register your marriage at a registry for cerrtificate purposes a lot of folks would have married since.

You know we are in naija we like notice me a lot, and in a lot of churches having a church wedding is real expense. Are we to put ourselves in debt because we want to marry? Why not call your pastor to bless both of you abi the blessing is not valid ?

I always feel for christains couples grumblinh and groaning when preparing for marriage simply because they want to live up to the expectations of the society and the church.

luluman:
In Christianity, you need to back up claims with Bible quotations .Show where God recognises court wedding pls.

Are you saying if a christain marries in the registry the marriage is not valid in the eyes of God and he can as well marry another person ?

I doubt if that money is pure, ahan that kind amount even if its to transfer it legally in installments. Someone can't be this naive abeg.

zionmde:
Traditional marriage is not valid in the eyes of God. Is it an occasion they pour libations for their ancestors? There is a difference between paying the bride price and traditional wedding, When the former is done, in the sight of God u become husband and wife. Now all other things that follow can as well be left out. That is why i used the word "ideal" in my first comment.
Now a prophet is a mouthpiece of God, and the bible says how shall they believe if they dont hear, so the pronouncement of a prophet is intended to voice out the seal of that marriage but spiritually the marriage is sealed once the bride price has been paid.
Now in court marriage u take an oath which has legal consequences if the oath is broken that is why people prefer to wed there, the same court can dissolve ur marriage and the two processes is biblically wrong. First bible says "let ur yes be yes and nay be nay" second the bible says "what God has joined together no man should put assunder"

Oh really traditional marriage is not valid in the eyes of God thats a first.

Where I come from there's no diff btwn trad marriage and bride price payment , the list is brought and everything is settled that same day no long wahala.

Now even if for some reason it happens in your culture are you saying God does not honor that marriage that the marriage is not valid in the eyes of God.

I know that churches (my church advises )couples getting married during counsellinh to ensure they avoid all forms of libations and alcohol during their traditional stuff.

If the marriage has been sealed when the bride price has been paid(which we both agree on) why any need for another form of marriage.

Bros hope you know that the oath taken in registry and in church have the same spiritual and legal consequences, are you aware that churches have been licensed by govt to wed and its that same cert they give you at the registry they will give in church.

Hope you also know that a marriage done in church can be dissolved by a law court( not an advocate of divorce anyway)

The oath taken in registry and a licensed church has the same consequences legally and spiritually if the oath is broken.

If its because of the fact that registry marriage can be dissolved in court that you feel its not accepted in the eyes of God, church weddings can also be dissolved in the law court. But our discussion shouldn't even be about divorce anyway because its biblically frowned at.

Pastoral blessings I agree, church wedding (which is feferity) I agree but saying being wedded at the registry is not valid in Gods eyes (biblically)you have to convince me more.