Samsimple:
I lost my dad last month, according to tradition we were told to cut our hair excluding the last born. It's been a week since then, but this rash on my head won't leave. I have been using damatol since I cut my hair, please can anyone recommend something better for me.

This is my first time of barbing bololo in years. Please nairalanders help me

sulaak:
Akeredolu is a fraud, Ondo schools are dilapidated, the roads are a mess. His bitumen programme is non existence and he has jump on the Amotekun bandwagon that was initiated by Makinde.

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

pansophist:
1. Make sure she chooses you. Arranged marriage works well when the lady in particular finds the man attractive and naturally wants to be with him. Men generally can be with a woman that they do not love, especially if she is a good person, I can not say the same for women. So I repeat, make sure that she chooses you and truly want to be with you. By choosing you, I do not necessarily mean meeting you herself and not through arrangement (that is just a vehicle to meet each other), but that she finds you attractive, adorable, and respectable.

2. Do not go have a relationship with her because of the prospect of green card. You NEED to find her as a good partner genuinely. and the prospect of living in the US will just be an addition, to make your marital life prosperous.

3. Be conscious of the power dynamic in your relationship. Traditionally, it is the woman that integrates into the lifestyle of a man, not otherwise. She is the one adopting your surname, moving to you, being impregnated by you, and submitting (not to be understood as tyranny/subordination) to you. Make sure you have something going for yourself, and green-card is not something that will be that attractive, or at least have self-respect to not make it influence such a lifelong decision. Moving to live with her in the US, getting your papers through her, being economically handicapped while she simultaneously assume the role of the torch bearer is not a recipe for a good start. Only truly good women will take that role and not look down on you. You know her better, so don't take this as an express advice.

4. Most importantly, make sure she is not settling for, but chooses you out of all her options. A question I would ask myself would be why she can not find a man in the US, a country with a population of about x2 of Nigeria. Why go through the stress of long distance relationship with you and considering marriage when she haven't even met you? It is important you know that in every deregulated relationship (meaning a lady freely making romantic decisions without social/cultural pressure), it is the woman that chooses the man, not otherwise. You may argue that you asked her out firstly, but her acceptance is mere confirmation of having choosing you out of all her suitors. Your words/toasting skills didn't do the job, but the kind of man you have made yourself to be.

Tell her to consider the prospect of visiting you in Nigeria, and explore the possibility of living in Nigeria and lead your family life there, then in the nearest future, you may both move abroad when you are convinced about the kind of woman she is. Don't just uproot your life and move to her to the US, leaving you vulnerable and dependent on her, in a feminized society. personally I would never do that. After all, Nigeria is her country as well. I am advising you as someone that lives abroad, and have seen how lots of relationship crashed because of not having proper planning and jumping to marry anyone because of the chance to move abroad.

Be honest with yourself. If you want to marry her genuinely, pay attention to the above advice. But if you want to marry her to move abroad, I can guarantee you that she probably will be that smart to see your intention and rain hell on you, and it would be better you just remain in Nigeria and live your life peacefully, than be at the mercy of an estranged wife in a foreign, feminized society. Good luck.

Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.

kingemaker:
Good morning my NL people.

I usually don't do this but I've been forced to create this thread because my friend (a lady) needs my advice on the subject.

She met this cool dude about two years ago, they started dating after 2 months or thereabouts and everything has been fine with them.

Dude has a good career and she's also doing very well for herself. A couple of days back, she ran into some of his documents and realized that she is 5 years older than him she confirmed this via a photocopy of his international passport, WAEC certificate and Jamb documents; his DOB was consistent in all.

I advised her to confront him, at least to hear his own part of the story (because I'm aware so many Nigerians tend to reduce their "official" ages). But she insisted that that wasn't the case because she remembered when her boyfriend's elder brother in the US once celebrated his birthday with a cake with "**** at 29" inscription. She saw the photos on IG late last year and she was confused but decided to shrug it off thinking it could be a mistake.

As of this moment, she feels the dude must be hiding some other things from her, she's so broken right now.

I'll be expecting your input guys.

I don't mind if you help push this to the promised land.

Thanks

winkmart:
A Nigerian lady identified as Bola Aseyan who falsely accused UK-based doctor, Dr Olufumilayo has been remanded in Prison after she escaped to Lagos.

If you recall, sometimes around April, the lady called out the medical doctor for allegedly raping her during her visit to his resident in the UK, an allegation the doctor denied and vowed to take legal actions.

He was eventually vindicated after an investigation by the UK Police, and while the accuser was being requested to report to the Police for further inquiries, she eloped to Nigeria.

The case was escalated in Nigeria and she was arrested and arraigned by the Police.

Reports have it that she has been remanded in a Prison in Lagos today.

Read Comprehensive report by Lagos Lawyer, Segalink.



https://lailasnews.com/bola-aseyan-who-accused-dr-olufumilayo-remanded-in-prison

Crispels:


As a Nigerian in the US, I’ve always preferred ending up with a fellow Nigerian because I just love that Naija aura; spirit and energy but most of the Nigerian girls I met when I first arrived here were so cocky, condescending and unapproachable.

However, I think age plays a big factor. If you were born here(a Nigerian - American) or you came here at a relatively young age(below 23), it's somewhat easier to find a life partner. Maybe if you came here for college or grad school - you can easily find a partner while in school.

Nevertheless, many Nigerian girls in America tend to waste their chances by being unrealistic when they are still below the age of 25. Many of them easily look down on people and they play themselves later on. Let me tell you a story. I have this friend of mine who lives in New York - he was born and raised in Naija. He came here for his Master’s and when he first arrived - he wanted a Nigerian girl by all means but most of the Nigerian girls around him then looked down on him. They saw him as a ”fresher” who had a thick accent, weird dressing, and all those kinds of stuff. I had a similar experience with some Nigerian girls too but his own experience was worse. When the guy was struggling in the US - none of these girls offered any friendship/support because they all felt he was not within their illusionary standard. The only people that supported him were the foreigners in his graduate school. But the guy who was talented. He worked hard at Columbia University and he eventually got a top investment job with JP Morgan. This my guy earns ridiculous six figures amount almost every month now. But do you know most of the Naija girls who looked down on him all tried to be friends with him after he was featured by Bloomberg business report? Can you imagine such nonsense! Why did they suddenly find him attractive now?

Well, the guy is currently dating the white girl that stood by him when he first arrived in New York but he still told me last month that he had always preferred a Nigerian babe but life happens. What if those Naija girls had even given him a chance of being their friend? What if they had tried to know him and not just judge him based on his looks as a struggling freshly arrived immigrant?
Nigerian girls in North America keep looking for finished products when they themselves are not in any way ready-made. They want guys that are 6-4 tall, beards, cars, houses, and all of those fleeting things at the same time. It's a wrong mentality to have and that's why most of them are still single. Life is a process. You don't expect men to have achieved 90% of their life goals when you meet them. People grow! A guy may not be muscular today but he can look like Anthony Joshua after spending some months in the gym. People need to understand the fact that life is a process. Then, we can take it from there.


Many of them are also intoxicated with this whole feminist stuff. See, as I am, I can cook by myself and I probably don't need a wife who knows how to cook. But do you know what? I’ve had female friends who are East Africans, black Americans, and whites who cook Nigerian food and give them to me. My friends who date these foreigners enjoy Nigerian food made by these foreign girls.

Yet, our Nigerian ”sisters” will be shouting up and down that it is not their duty to cook in the family. I know how to cook but I also want a wife who is homely. If I don't see these qualities in any girl of Nigerian descent but the qualities are present in a Kenyan girl or a white girl, why should I marry a Nigerian girl? The incentive is not there! Some foreign girls even embody Naija qualities than the so-called Naija girls.

Mbdovey:
So, I got talking with a senior friend about challenges most new migrat faced in Canada and US. After several discussion, this got my attention. According to her, it's very difficult to get married or come in contact with a prospective life partner. As most Nigerian's single ladies are over age but no husband.
How true is the above statement?
Are there most Nigerian's single ladies than single men?
As a single Nigerian in Canada or US, is it really difficult finding a life partner (a Nigerian partner to be precise)?

Is it adviseable to get married to a Nigerian partner before going, what if the marriage fail due to long distance?

What's the possibility of seeing more black (Nigerians) to mingle?

What part has large number of Nigerians?

Because it's good to plan every aspect of one's life.

Sirfemisky:
I am in HND l.

My life has been in a mess since when I was a child. My parents did care much for me when I was a child. I was a victim of child bully.

I wasted many years after my secondary school.

I now steal from them as a revenge for not teaching me self love

GuyWise101:
Please Advice Me

Please NLs advice me, I am serving my Oga what we Igbo people call (Igba boyi) now I am saving his money mostly from profit, I want to use the money to start my business when I am settled and it has reached 1.3m but my mind is telling me to show him the money while the other mind is telling me not to show him the money.

Please advice me on this.

Alimzy20:
Good evening my fellow nairalanders i need your strong advices.my parents are forcing me to get married !! I'm just 21.I've tried all possible ways to change their mind. it ended in vain.

I'm not in relationship either. What should i do now? I'm still schooling and unemployed too..