TallNigerian:
Thank you Sir. Do you have a reason why you emphasised on getting married before migrating because I am not in a relationship presently? I also do not think I can get married that soon before leaving.

TallNigerian:
Hello Nairalanders,

I will be 30 years in a few months and I have never felt so much unease as I do right now. I work with one of the federal parastatals and I am currently on level 10 going to 12 next year. I have a Master degree athough it is not exactly relevant to my current job.

The problem is that my organisation uses the Ministry salary structure and my monthly net is below 80k even as a level 10 staff.

I am not married and I am academically inclined. Asides having a Master degree, I have over 8 professional certifications.

I have been trying to clinch a transfer of service to a better parastatal where the remuneration is better and where my knowledge/experiences as a science graduate will be better appreciated but it has been a bit difficult.

However, just before the COVID-19 episode in Nigeria, I got the right link for a transfer of service to a better parastatal but the process got stalled with the COVID-19 palaver.

I have 4 siblings who are Canadian citizens and they have been on my neck to migrate. I never took the calls seriously until this lockdown period. My siblings are arguing about the uncertainty of the Nigerian economy post-covid and advising me to seize this opportunity to migrate and start a new career over there?

My question therefore, "is it wise to stay back since I have gone quite far in my public service career and just wait for the opportunity to transfer my service to a better paying federal parastatal OR do I migrate to Canada and start a new career?

Your honest inputs will be highly appreciated. Thanks!

@CrazyMan @1forall Please I need your help in pushing this forward for a wider view. Thank you.

Preciousgirl:
My 30 year old brother is going to marry a 43 year old woman. The woman is never married before and has no kids but been in 7 different past relationships.

I am not endorsing this, what do you advise?

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

purples25:


They love them but they come back here to insult them.

Gracealone:
The main issue that may make your wife disrespect you is your lack of money. If you are the breadwinner, it cannot be this bad.

recklesslove:
Is this not Seun? The idiot that attended Africa magic award that came from UK? I've also seen him on a BBC video. How come he is the only one talking? How come he hasn't been arrested? How come? This is definitely a scam