₦airaland Forum

Initially I assumed you were a girl.

NigeriaIsGreat:
Obi will not win 1 single polling unit up north

You know you are just talking. Hope you know?

PO is the man for the job.

donaldking100:
broke men association slogan.
oga bring out money & do things the right way it's done.
it's a once in a lifetime something, & it deserves to be done well.

Who determines the right way of doing something?

If Tinubu thinks it is his turn, then its even more the turn of South East.
Take note, I'm not Igbo. So chill.

Chinco

S

Hmm omo

Is this question alright?

Shetemi12:
PETER OBI Is on CNN lying again

If your candidate is confident, let him appear on CNN. Shikena

Did this mother know that she bought a demon for her daughter?

Whiteangel1234:
Obi is a goal

PO for president.

Okada riders snatching our wives —Protesting Osun Police constables

‘Okada riders are sleeping with our wives; pay our salaries now; pay us our 18-months salary; pay us our stipends and allowances now’, were some of the inscriptions on the placards carried by the protesting police constables in Osogbo, the Osun state capital, yesterday.

The police constables, recruited to complement the police structure in the state by providing intelligence, were inaugurated in May 2021, at Police Headquarters, Osun State, after their training in April 2021.

The protesting policemen, who were wearing uniforms, converged at Osogbo Grammar School area and marched through Oke-Fia, Alekuwodo before they stormed the Ola-Iya flyover to register their grievances.

Speaking on behalf of the protesting policemen, Constable Tijani Adewale, disclosed that they are committed to their duties, despite not being paid salaries, adding that three of their colleagues have lost their lives in the course of discharging their duties.

He lamented that commercial tricyclists and motorcyclists have snatched their wives, due to their inability to discharge their family responsibilities. His words: “We have gone to the local government, met with lawmakers and dignitaries in the state, yet no positive result. We lost three persons in Ikire and one in Iree. These people died in the course of discharging their duties.

“We are very dutiful, even though we have not been paid a dime. Due to unpaid allowances, tricycle and Okada riders have snatched our wives because of our inability to take care of them.“

Meanwhile, the state’s Police Commissioner, Olawale Olokode, who later joined them at the Ola-Iya bridge, ordered them to stop the protest. He assured them that the concerned authority will intervene and that issues will be looked into.

He said: “You are embarrassing the force with your protest; you should have channelled your grievances to the appropriate quarters. You are disturbing public peace with this your protests. As far as you are wearing this uniform, we expect you to maintain high discipline as a force man.”

https://www.vanguardngr.com/2022/09/okada-riders-snatching-our-wives-protesting-osun-police-constables/

MasterJayJay:
A party that has Liar Mohammed has the audacity to talk about fake stats.


To employ 50 million youths to join the military is not a wrong figure? Olodo!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP0WRxbq4o0

From fry pan to fire? This can'tbe. No no no

What is one thing you accidentally taught your child that came back to bite you?
I'll let you decide if it came back to bite me or not. I guess I could see it either way.

My daughter was being bullied in high school by a few other girls. More than once they ganged up on her, slapped her around, embarrassed her. The school wouldn't do anything but make excuses. So during summer break between her freshman/sophomore year I got her outside and taught her how to box. Gloves, punching bag, jumprope, the works.

To be honest, I really didn't technically teach her how to box. I showed her how to get her wind up, keep her chin down, and taught her how to hit. How to punch through, to counter punch, and put together combinations. Put her shoulder behind it, and her hip into it.. And she done well. Before summer was over I had the bruises to prove it.

Now, don't get the wrong idea. I told her to walk away when she could. I made her promise. But if she found herself jammed up, don't just stand there and let herself get beat up.

Well, once school started it was only a few weeks before the phone rang. They told me my daughter was alright. Then right away, off to the principal’s office I went. The same three girls had jumped on her again in one of the bathrooms. When I got there the first thing I saw was two girls sitting in the outer office wearing bloody clothes. The secretary showed me right into the principal’s office, and there sat my daughter without a scratch on her. The story was she whipped two of them and the third girl ran away.

So we got through all of that, warning about this, threats of suspension if it happens again, blah, blah. About halfway through the school year, and my phone rings again. This time it's my wife. The school called, my little girl’s been fighting again.

Her best friend is a gorgeous sweet heart of a young girl, whose only physical flaw is she had been a breach birth. It damaged her hips, and she walks with a severe limp. They were in the school cafeteria and a couple boys were picking on my daughter’s friend. Apparently it was more than she could stand, because my little girl got up and beat the snot out of both of those boys before anybody could stop her. Then when I got to the school there they sat, in the same spot, bloodied up worse than the girls before. Now she had started beating up the boys, two at a time. After the dust settled she was suspended from school for three days.

I don't regret teaching her to defend herself, and if I encouraged her that's alright too. Since she was in the right (mostly) I took her side just as I promised I would. We left the school and had pizza buffet for lunch, I wasn't angry.

I'll tell you what though, don't think that girl can't hit. But maybe I should have taught her how to wrestle instead.

https://qr.ae/pvOI8u

Is it wrong to go on vacation?

Op and Faber, thanks for your write ups. You added something positive to me today.

Confessions of a Male Domestic Violence Survivor

How long were you together when the physical abuse began and what did she do?

The physical abuse didn’t really start until a few years into the relationship. In retrospect, I can honestly see that it went in stages of her seeing how much she could get away with.

First, it started with constant criticism, then it turned to controlling my actions; who I could and couldn’t see, what I could do in my spare time etc… then it turned into verbal abuse and bullying and then finally it turned into regular physical violence.


But part of the reason it continued to escalate was that I would always acquiesce to everything she wanted thinking it would calm her down. But in reality, the opposite happened.

As soon as I gave into one thing something else was upset or anger her. Nothing was ever good enough and that just eventually lead to her becoming physically abusive to take her anger out.

The physical violence started with just things like slapping me, biting me, throwing things at me. But eventually, she started using weapons like broom handles, rolling pins – anything she could use to inflict maximum harm.

Then eventually she started using knives. She stabbed me in the forearm then wouldn’t let me go to the hospital until 2 days later after the wound had got much worse.

Then she sliced open my arm so badly I could literally see the muscles inside the wound. After that the violence stopped for a bit but then inevitably once things had died down a bit she knew that it was a level she could get to without risking me leaving so it started again

Can you describe a specific incident where it escalated into violence?

One time she had lodgers staying with her and one was a female German student. I was walking to her house and I happened to bump into the lodger so we walked back to the house together. For some reason it sent her into a rage that I was “talking to another woman” and she just started beating me around the head.

The problem was I pushed her away and she fell over and hurt herself. So because she was so manipulative she convinced me that I had attacked her and not the other way around. That just started a guilt spiral where I believed I deserved all the things she did to me.

What’s the worse way she beat you up?

Attacked me with a large kitchen knife that cut my arm open so badly I could see the muscles and tendons in my arm. I still have a 6-inch scar across my forearm from that.

At what point in the relationship did you see the red flags? What were those red flags?

I had only been dating her for a few months and I was at her house when this mad argument started between her and her mother. They were saying all types of vile shit to each other. Honestly I’d never heard anything like it before.

But soon I realized that was normal behaviour in her household which she just carried through into our relationship.

Did she ever try and keep you away from your family/friends?

Yes. That was one of the very first things she did. Within a few months she had isolated me from all my friends and within a year she got me to move out of my family home and stop talking to my family for the “sake of the relationship”.

Of course there were always excuses and reasons why she thought I should do what she said, but looking back it was all just a way to isolate me from anyone she thought would get in the way of controlling me. I just wish I’d seen it that way at the time and walked away. But it was my first relationship and I really wanted to make her happy so I went along with it. But sadly that was just the first step down the road towards abuse

What was the breaking point?

When she used to get verbally abusive with me. In the end I started recording the things she would say to me.

Some days she would be really nice and it would make me kind of forgive her for all the crap she put me through. But when that happened I would play back the recordings to myself to remind me.

But I think the breaking point was when I happened to be recording when our dog came into the room and I realized that I couldn’t tell if she was shouting at me or the dog – when I realized she was literally talking to me like I was a dog that was when something tripped in my brain. I know it sounds strange but when I think about it that’s the point when I realized “no this is too much”

How did you get out?

We had a friend who was much older than both of us so he was kind of like a father figure. I sat down with him and her and just told her that I can’t be in the relationship any more. I made sure he was there so she didn’t flip out and get aggressive. She put on an act around other people of course and nobody knew the extent of how she behaved so thankfully I was able to use his presence to neutralise the situation.

Then after that I just got out as quickly as possible.

How long were you in the relationship for?

10 years.

Why did you stay in the relationship for so long?

There was two reasons really. The first was that she was really good at making me feel like things were my fault. So I would end up feeling like I had pushed her to get violent or abusive because that’s what she was telling me. This was a slow burn thing done over months and even years. She broke down my already fragile self esteem in order to have total control over me. Once she did that she could get away with anything.

And secondly as you say I stuck around out of loyalty. I felt like even though the relationship was broken I could fix it if I just gave in to her demands and made her happy. Because believe it or not I did love her and of course there were good times as well as bad times. I did want to be a “strong” person in the relationship and put up with her abuse in order to keep it going.

But as I realize now there is nothing that I could have done to fix the relationship or make her happy. No matter what I did she would expect more from me. As soon as she started getting violent the relationship should have been over. But sadly I didn’t realize that at the time.

Do you think the stigma around being a male victim of domestic violence made it hard for you to seek help or leave?

I didn’t have a support network to help me because I was too embarrassed and ashamed to talk about it to anyone. If anyone asked me how things were going in the relationship I would just say good even though they weren’t.

Every time I went to emergency room for stitches or with a concussion I would lie about how it happened. One time I went to work with a black eye that she gave me and told everyone I was in a car crash. Looking back there were escape routes if I’d just used them but it was the pride and shame that stopped me. I think we need to focus on making men understand that being with an abusive partner isn’t a weakness on their part and they need to get help as soon as it starts.

But I think a big part of the fact that domestic abuse is focussed on the female victim is because male victims are so reluctant to talk about it. So it’s a catch 22 situation – men won’t talk about it because it’s not something that’s spoken about in society, but it’s not spoken about in society because no men talk about it!

When you left her was there any remorse from her? Was there any acknowledgement they’d done anything wrong?

My ex is still in the stage where she denies most things which is so infuriating. She still tries to use excuses for the way she treated me. Somehow everything was “my fault” for getting her so angry.

She shows some remorse but she’s still very manipulative. Guilt tripping and gaslighting were major tricks of her to maintain control over me.

Sadly her dad died young in tragic circumstances. If I ever try to raise the issue of what she did she will say “I know, that’s why my Dad died, it was my punishment for what I did”. She is STILL trying to guilt trip me by suggesting I’m somehow responsible for her dad dying. She knows that whatever she did to me I’d never of wanted her dad to die, so I’m 100% convinced she says it to make ME downplay what she did by making up a punishment worse than the crime so to speak.

This is a classic narcissistic attempt at switching the narrative so she’s the ‘victim’.

She did it all the time. Nothing was ever her fault. The violence and the abuse was always “my fault” for making her so angry she couldn’t control herself.

Do you feel as though male abuse, of any kind, often gets overlooked because it not being considered “manly”?

Honestly, until a few months ago I never spoke to anyone about it. I have told one of my closest friends about it who was shocked. I have scars all over my arms from being attacked with knives and I lied to everyone who saw them about how I got them.

But honestly, I’m just tired of lying and denying what happened any more. If people ask I’ll tell them. In some ways, it’s easier to talk to strangers than people I know because it’s so shameful to admit what happened. Partly because I’m ashamed I let someone physically abuse me but also because I’m ashamed of how easily I allowed myself to be manipulated by someone.

I guess I don’t want people to think I’m a weak person… at the time I didn’t think I was being weak I thought I was being strong by tolerating it for the sake of the relationship.

But I’ve still not told my dad about what she did to me and I doubt I ever will. He’s quite old school so he doesn’t talk about feelings and that conversation would just be too hard.

What happened to her?

She got into another relationship pretty quickly but the same patterns started to emerge. But in the end she pushed that guy too far and he left pretty early into the relationship. Obviously of course it wasn’t her fault – she decided to blame his sister for “turning him against her” when in reality he just had enough self-esteem to realize the relationship was toxic and go.

Does she still try to contact you?

I still have to maintain some level of contact with her due to financial commitments. Thankfully those commitments are coming to an end soon so I can eventually separate from her entirely (apart from picking up our dog to take her for a walk lol)

What kind of commitments? Spousal or child support?

We were never married and have no children. However we had a small business together and the usual things like car repayments, a joint tenancy on the apartment etc. The business is in the process of being wound up but there are still obligations. and I still pay my share of joint credit agreements.

I resent doing a lot of it but obviously, there is the legal aspect that most of the agreements are in both of our names so if I don’t pay my share she could go down the legal route to get the money off me.

How are you now?

I’m angry that I wasted 10 years of my twenties and thirties on a person who wasn’t worth my time and affection. But I thought I was doing the right thing sticking with her because she had a lot of issues in her own life separate to me.

I’m not so much angry with her though… I’m angry with myself. I’m angry that I allowed myself to be manipulated for so long.

Do you feel as if this experience made you grow/learn/become someone better?

Honestly no. Before I met her I was a happy go lucky guy who people liked hanging around with. But she would always barage me with insults about how I’m useless and she’s the only person who would ever put up with me. She would always tell me that people are bad and you can’t trust anyone in the world. Now I’m bitter and angry and very cynical. It was honestly like being a member of a cult! I am still “indoctrinated” in many respects in viewing the world the way SHE wanted me to and now how I want to.

What do you wish you had known 10 years ago?

Honestly what I wish I’d have known is that it’s fine to put yourself first. I spent so many years putting her and her family first because I thought I was doing the right thing. I took physical and verbal abuse not just from her but from her mother and sisters as well.

But I stuck around because in my mind I thought that I was somehow being “chivalrous” or whatever you want to call it. But in the end it was pointless.

Nothing I ever did was good enough, and whatever sacrifices I made to make her happy would never be enough. She would always expect more whatever I did. I should have left the first time she made me feel like shit but I just took it, and as soon as that happened it was only ever going to get worse and worse because she knew she could get away with it.

I also started to realize that people like her target people that can easily manipulate. Especially people with low self-esteem. Of course, anyone who is willing to stand up for themselves tells them to get lost soon into the relationship so they look for people like us who they know they can control.

https://cavemancircus.com/2022/05/12/male-domestic-violence-survivor/

Agreed, It's wrong sleeping with married women. What about ladies sleeping with married men?

This is why Peter Obi is needed!

If it is wrong to have those questions then it is wrong to have muslim -muslim ticket.

josh123:
Nigeria do not stand a chance to host the world cup... The only african countries are SA, Egypt, morocco, Ethiopia and rewanda...the rest na wash

South Africa hosted before so the likelihood of them representing Africa is slim.

Top 10 Countries Where Government Beg Citizens to Have More S*x

This might sound ridiculous, but do you know that there are countries where citizens are being begged by the government to have more s*x? Have a look at the s*x-starved nations.

There are few things more important than fertility in determining a nation's future viability.

Demographers suggest that a country needs a fertility rate of just over two children per woman to hit "replacement fertility" — the rate at which new births fill the spaces left behind by deaths.

But because of certain cultural and economic forces, only about half of the world's 224 countries currently hit replacement fertility.

For those that don't, encouraging people to have sex can involve strategies that range from highly explicit to downright bizarre.


1. Denmark

If you aren't going to have a kid for your own family, Danes are told, at least do it for Denmark.

No, literally, do it for Denmark.

The small Nordic country has such a low fertility rate — about 1.73 children per woman — that Spies Rejser, a Danish travel company, has come up with ingenious incentives to persuade women to get pregnant.

First, it offered to provide three years' worth of baby supplies to couples who conceived on a vacation booked through the company.

Now it has come up with a sexy campaign video titled "Do it for Mom," which guilt trips couples into having kids to give their precious mothers a grandchild.


2. Russia

Vladimir Putin once brought Boyz II Men to Moscow to rile men up right before Valentine's Day.

Can anyone blame him? As Tech Insider recently reported, the country is experiencing a perfect demographic storm. Men are dying young. HIV/AIDS and alcoholism are crippling the country. And women aren't having babies.

The problem got so bad that in 2007 Russia declared September 12 the official Day of Conception.

On the Day of Conception, people get the day off to focus on having kids. Women who give birth exactly nine months later, on June 12, win a refrigerator.


3. Japan

Japan's fertility rate has been below replacement since 1975.

To offset that decades-long trend, in 2010 a group of students from the University of Tsukuba introduced Yotaro, a robot baby that gives couples a preview of parenthood.

If men and women begin thinking of themselves as potential fathers and mothers, the students theorized, they'll feel emotionally ready to take a stab at the real thing.


4. Romania

The 1960s in Romania were a perilous time for couples.

Population growth flatlined, prompting the government to impose a 20% income tax for childless couples and to implement provisions that made divorce nearly impossible.

The idea was: If you weren't contributing to the communist state by creating future laborers, you had to contribute with dollars instead.

The 1980s weren't much better, however — women faced forced gynecological exams that were performed by "demographic command units" to ensure pregnancies went to term. When Romanian leadership changed in 1989, the brutal policy finally came crashing down. But at 1.31 children per woman, the fertility rate is still well below replacement.


5. Singapore

Singapore has the lowest fertility rate in the world, at just 0.81 children per woman.

On August 9, 2012, the Singaporean government held National Night, an event sponsored by the breath-mint company Mentos, to encourage couples to "let their patriotism explode."

The country has also placed a limit on the number of small one-bedroom apartments available for rent to encourage people to live together and, presumably, procreate.

Each year the government spends roughly $1.6 billion on programs to get people to have more sex.


6. South Korea

On the third Wednesday of every month, South Korean offices shut their lights off at 7 p.m. It's known as Family Day.

With a fertility rate of just 1.25 children per woman, the country takes any steps it can to promote family life — even offering cash incentives to people who have more than one child.


7. India

India as a whole has no problem with fertility — the country's ratio of 2.48 children per woman is well above replacement.

But the number of people in India's Parsis community is dwindling — it shrank from roughly 114,000 people in 1941 to just 61,000 in 2001, according to the 2001 census.

That problem led to a series of provocative ads in 2014, including one that read "Be responsible — don't use a condom tonight." Another, geared toward men who lived at home, asked, "Isn't it time you broke up with your Mum?"

The ads seem to be working: By the latest measure, the population has inched back to 69,000.


8. Italy

With a fertility rate of 1.43 — well below the European average of 1.58 — Italy has taken a controversial approach to encourage citizens to have more kids.

As Bloomberg reports, the country has been running a series of ads reminding Italians that time might be running out and that kids don't just come from nowhere.

"Beauty knows no age, fertility does," one ad said. "Get going! Don't wait for the stork," another said.

Couples haven't responded positively to the guilt trip. Francesco Daveri, a professor of economics at Università Cattolica del Sacro Cuore, has called the ads a failure.


9. Hong Kong

With a fertility rate of just 1.18 children per woman, Hong Kong faces the same challenge as many industrialized countries: Without enough young people to replace aging citizens, populations are dwindling and economic growth is slowing.

In 2013, the country proposed giving cash handouts to couples to encourage them to have kids.

The idea took its cue from Singapore, where parents receive a "baby bonus" of about $4,400 for their first two children and $5,900 for their third and fourth.

But in Hong Kong, the plan never came to life.


10. Spain

Fertility rates in Spain are creeping downward while unemployment is rising: About half of all young people don't have a job. It's the second-highest rate in Europe, behind Greece.

To combat the worrying trends, the Spanish government hired a special commissioner, Edelmira Barreira, in January 2017. Her first tasks are finding the myriad causes of the trend and devising macro strategies to reverse it .

"We have a lot of work ahead of us," Barreira told the Spanish newspaper Faro De Vigo

http://www.businessinsider.com/countries-that-want-people-to-have-more-sex-2017-3?IR=T/#italy-8

Government why na?

You don't mean it?

There is herbal medicine for the heart and cardiovascular system. It's a foreign drug.

seunmsg:
Did ASUU go on strike for over 6 months under his watch? If he couldn’t prevent local ASUU from going on strike for over 6 months in Anambra state, how will he resolve the problem of ASUU on a national scale?

National ASUU is currently on strike and their demand is not about salary increment. So, if Obi’s only solution to ASUU problem is to increase salary, it’s obvious then that he’s not the right guy for the job as ASUU demands are far more than salary increment.

You can't change my mind. Instead I'm the one who should change your mind.
Peter Obi is not perfect but is better.

DeleTaller:
Obi can never change his ways.. is a liar and a criminal who is ready to keep on manipulating young people in this country. I just safe a lady from Obi's brainwashed.. I asked why do you think you need Obi? and she said because people on social media are saying is the best.. Then I asked her now that I have showed you his deeds with proves? she said she now knows better and will try and show same to her friends in school. know the truth and the truth shall set you free. Obi is a virus and its a pity that the younger people are now leaving themselves and exposing themselves to it.

God forbid Obi in Aso Rock.

Who is your alternative to Peter Obi?

I'm not changing my mind. Peter Obi for president.

Hmm

Let the comments roll in.