₦airaland Forum

I once drew a friend attention to this and what she yold me was that t is better to live with a dozen men that to have one miserable man for life,

@poster,

What can I say other than you are the cause of the problem? The lady was right to accuse you of not trusting her. In fact, you ran yourself into trouble my repeating the same action more than twice. What else do you want her to do? Yo folllowed her everywhere and tempt her. She passed and you still have to go through the same thing again after all.

Now, you find it difficult to say a simple sorry to her mother. As much as I am not in support of your going to her mother, the truths is that if the woman truly know of all those tempting texts you have been sending your lady, then you should at last clear air on it and humble yourself. After all, she has come to aid aid several times.

On a lighter note, I think you are insecured, and proud! This is what I inferred from your post. But you can get your lady back. Just remember, fr now on, every strange messages that enter her phone may be presumed to originate from you. That is the "wage of your sin"

Well pardon the grama. I am just in my 100L. So i wil still improve, ok?

Because most people cant compose one again!

@GEW,
I really don't know whether to reply you or ignore you. You are certainly reading my post for the first time. I am therefore willing to excuse your misjudgement.

Let me re-direct you to my post again. Go digest it and try to understand me. If you still didn't get it, then it in no wonder why you are attacking everyone that doesn't agree with you.

It is pathetic!

That said, did the poster narrated what actually happened between the two when they are alone? Was she a witness to the crime? Did she answer the big question my parable outlined?

Instead of dissipating your energy fighting a lost cause, try and understand that Law are guided by certain principles. You don't judge someone without hearing the other side.

If you have used the head GOD gave you, you will be asking questions instead of being the judge and prececutor.

Take note that she must have willingly entered his house, A lot of holes abound in the story and I hate to say it is unworthy of being pushed to and fro.

The only way you can know the truth is to listen to the guy side of the story. It is easy to judge that way.

Even the poster didn't witness the crime. She was narrating what she was told.

Dont be hasty in condeming people you don't know and abusing them just because they refused to act like todler who has mastered the art of talking early in life and therefore presume that everyone else is insane just because they discover that the tone of their voices is not as deep as the tones of elders.

@poster,
I Have just one question for you. What will you have been if the guy have dead?

Teomot,
I was not saying the guy was right or wrong. My experience in this life has taught me to look at both sides of the road before crossing.

If indeed she called off the affair without any reason after the guy have made personal sacrifice and commitment, then she must not be seen as someone incapable of hurting the guy.

Maybe you should ask what took her to the guy house when she had hurt him. Or the guy raped her on the street or in her own house? The answer to this question will reveal sth about what happened. You cant stab a man and still go to his house to dine. He does not know why you stab him and you wont apologize either. Do you sincerely expect that man to be dine with her?

If the act is committed in the guy room, then something must have happened that led to sex NOT rape.

Maybe the guy later boasted of conquering her and she felt used. I am sure the guy will have his own bitter naration that will make the girl guilty.

Hilarious, yet parthetic!

I am refusing to accept that he rape her though. He might have invoked his power to neutralize her resistance which obviously took her by surprise while she lost control.

People should look deeper before accepting false accusation. In a court of law, the girl may lose the case anyway.

My dearest, sweetest, fondest, fantastic, extra-ordinary, paragon of beauty a.k.a Bose,

I hope this letter meets you in a fabulous state of metabolism, if so doxology. My principal aim of writing this letter to you is to gravitate your mind towards a matter of global and universal importance, which has been troubling my soul. The matter is so important.

Even as I am writing, my adrenalin is 100 per cent on the Richter scale, my temperature is rising, the windvane of my mind is pointing North, South and East at the same time; the mirror in my eyes has only your divine image. Indeed when I sleep, you are the one in my medulla oblongata, and I dream about you.

I went out to sea in my dream, and I saw you: surrounded by H20 and you in your majesty rose from the abdomen of the sea like Yemoja, the avatar of beauty. Oh, Lord be with us! We are thy servants.
As you can see, I am in a serious dilemma. And I want you to take my matter seriously. At this junction, what our Lord said on this matter is germane. He says we should ask, and we shall be given, we should seek and we will find, and that we should knock, and it will be opened unto us. I am this 10th day of the seventh month in the year of our Lord, one thousand, nine hundred and seven eight, asking, seeking and knocking at your door. My prayer is that thou should open so that thy servant can enter. I want to wake up in the morning and see only your face.

I want you to be the only sugar in my tea, the only fly in my ointment, the butter on my bread, the grey matter of my system, the oxygen in my head, the planet of my universe, the wall clock of my room. The conveyor belt of my soul. I pray that you realise the gargantuan nature of my predicament. If you refuse, my life will be like tea without sugar, like a snail without shell, a Xmas goat without a horn; in fact I'd become an orphan. In fact I'd kill myself.

What is life if I can't wake up in the morning and behold your face? You model of pulchritude, patiently created by God on a Sunday morning before he went on a deserved holiday. Please Bose, let me be your Romeo. Make me the Adam to your Eve. Shakespeare said it all: if music be the food of love, play on. I want to emphasise, universally and responsibly, that you are love itself. You are the metaphor, oxymoron, thesis, antithesis, irony, gerund, conjunction and the adverb of love.

At this juncture, let me also say that geography of your body is a permanent allelluia. Not from your body, ammonia, urea and iodine- you are too beautiful for that, what I see in your body is milk and honey.

At this juncture, brevity is the soul of wit. A stitch in time saves nine. Procrastination is the thief of time. An opportunity once lost can never be regained. Make hay while the sun shines. All that glitters is not gold. The journey of a thousand years begins with a step. What God has put together let no man put asunder.

To be a man is not an easy task even if God's time is the best. But time waits for no one. A man without love is like a fish out of water. I know you are a sagacious girl. If you like the veracity of what I am saying, please fill the attached form and let me have it pronto. The mark at the bottom of this page is a kiss from me to you.

I remain Your beloved, faithful, loyal, One and only admirer.



I got this letter from a friend and feel I should share, lol

when has being intuitive become a problem? you should rather be happy,

your explanation isnt clear at all,

"Her boyfriend just told her that she should be getting married in two years…" did he mean she should marry him or marry someone else?

"Or before she goes off to medical school.", Is the girl about to go to medical school? and what is she doing now?

"She asked him “what about you“? He said he is relocating to Naija.", meaning that they are both abroad before and the man is back in Naija now while the lady is still looking for way to go for her medical degree?

", they are still hanging out… ", but you said the man is in Naija now!!!



whatever you mean, it wnt be fair to judge unless you clarify

@poster,
As much as I hate people spying at their patners' private mails etc, I am very reserved when judging in matter like this. If your girl is not a lesbian and you are sure of this, well, caution is the word. You may drive her to become one if you continue to act this way. I really don't know how to handle this. But I can tell you I have a couple of lesbian friends and they are highlyy principled and very persuasive. This may sound strange from me, I have found out that some of them are driven to the act by men.

regarding your girl, she is already going to sleep with the lady. But you can't say of she will have sex with her unless you install a CCTV in her friend's or spy at them. You know this is a silly way to handle such delicate matter.

In my opinoin, you shoud follow topup advice. lesbians don't drop from heaven, they learn the act. If your girl is going to be bisexual, there is nothing you can do about it. Stop begging her and accept the fact that she may eventually do what she want. If you can confirm that she did it, you have the right to terminate the rellationship. begging her will just be like complicating the matter. You can talk to her of find someone who can talk to her. And once she fail to heed the advice, please let her be and find someone who will meet your expectation.

Both the pro and anti are here debating while some people are wailing,

The two sides maybe right, it is only the victims that can tell us who is more righteous,

We must all be careful on how we use words, the poster, may have lost his job at OBIN, but someday, he may find himself there again at the highest level, this time, with the task of solving the problem people like him created,

And those saying OBIN is right and praising it to high heaven may have to wait for a day when the sack cakes will be passed to them, unless they are related to owners, In anything we do, I recommend that we are moderate about it. regardless of how oceanic is performing, I am aware that the bank was not one of the Banks considered as "strong" in Nigeria. Therefore no amount of publicity can change that.

I am also going to reject the general conclusion that everyone sacked are those who didn't meet their targets or are fraudsters, It is impossible for any bank to knowingly accommodate a large number of staff that are known to be in disciplined and fraudulence just because they want to employ people, let us see beyond our noses, there is more to the sacking that the claimed we are being fed with.


Let me remind everyone that only four banks are considered strong among all the banks presently dangling fat profit at their shareholders. And Oceanic bank was not among them. Even Skye bank that is not as big is financially better. So we don't need antagonists and protagonist to debate something that is already causing tear in some families. Let us just know the facts so that we can know how to prepare for any eventualities.

Now you can see how confusing it is. My advice is that you befriend him and watch his trait. He will one day clarify what he meant when he get over the break up and he is ready to talk. Dont judge him yet, until you have known him better.

@poster,
if he has said that the wife flirt, that would have been understood. But for him to marry a woman who has husband, and the parents are aware, is a confusing scenerio.

But it is not impossible. There are cases of people marrying another partner after they seperated and live in different cities. One negative observation in traditional marriage is that either partner can walk out of it anytime! And when that happen, it is the elders, and parents that will come in to resolve it.

So, yes, a man and woman can walk out of the traditional marriage, but to divorce, only happen in court. Mark you, magistrate courts accept traditional marriage as legal. And the can disolve it.

May i ask you, why are you interested in him? Marriage, I supposed?

How did you know she is a lesbian? Just curious,

By the way, is your girl also Lesbian?

hmmmm wait till she slip out of your hand before you know when you are ready,

Some guys are just amasing when creating excuse why they can't mary a woman. Instead of telling her outright that you can't marry her, you are playing waiting games. It is not easy to be dating a woman whose mind is on marriage while the man still think of looking for a better alternative.

while I may agree that you may want to sort out somethings, I quite see no logic in why you can't discuss it with her when she is working and confortable. I am sure she may understand.

The puzzle she is trying to solve is " Are you are marriage type?" Or are you just using her as a back-up?"

If you can't marry her just tell her so and break away from her instead of letting her have a false sense of security until it is too late,

The decision is yours to make,

Well, in the olden day, and before the coming of European colonizers, traditional marriage is what we have in Africa. The only law guiding them are the law of the lands. Nothing specific, but it worked out fine. Once you have agreed to marry the person, and you are satisfied with one another.

Like someone said, in traditional marriage, there is no divorce. true, but it is not like that everywhere. each tribes has their rule governing marriage and they always stay faithful o them.

However, I must commend the taditionalists for one thing, they are able to maintained stable families long before we start witnessing western education. I still don't know how they did it. But we must admit that it worked. Perhaps the gods are very much alive during the period. If you hurt someone unjustly and divorce the wife, it may lead to life long tragedy to the offenders. I have read of this before.

However, traditional marriage is basically the formalisation of marital union by parents and the couples who then accepted to be man and woman for the rest of their lives. It has no legal backing (today) but in the the past it has spiritual backing!

if your man told you he had traditional marriage and is now divorced, you must sincerely ask him why he separated from the woman after promising to stay by her, Legal or traditional, you can know a faithful man by their ability to stick to the truth and by their words, you will know their minds. Let him tell you about the relationship and what went wrong. maybe he is telling the truth, maybe not. Only in asking him question can you know. Truly, if you marry him now, you will be the "legal" wife.

But what will being a legal wife be to you if you wake up one day and found that he was not being honest with you on why he separated from his ex? Your duty is to ensure that he is clean!

@poster,

I read through your post, and was tempted to see you as a responsible man. But in my estimation, you are far from it. However, I am going to give you the benefit of doubt, and accept that it was the devil's hand in the whole matter.

I think, you can go ahead and use the fake AID test and you may end up regretting the lies. Why? Because if the gilr go hysterical and tell everyone you have infested her with HIV, not only will it lead to your being denigrated but and also you will eventually lose the job you are trying to keep. You see, we tend to underestimate the capacity of our fellow human to react to issue that bother on emotion. It is bad enough that you have been using her for your sexual gratification, while blaming it on her. But it will be worse if you hink she will just keep quiet knowing she had has sex with HIV carrier.

Sure, you can always defend yourself when people challenge you to prove you have no HIV in your blood (trust me, you have it your head already). That act of self defence will inevitably lead you to telling them what you dont wnat them to know and then you will lose in more than one way. Your credibiility as well as your job will be on the line!

Now, what should you do? First you have to admit that you are the one enjoying the show, and not the other way round. Only a fool will listen to you and believe the girl is just having sex with you for fun. You must eiher be giving her something in return, like money and silly promises or she is hoping you will marry her eventually. First find out why she is into you. Next, find out what she found in you that made you her sole target. Dont tell me she is sleeping with everyone else in the plaza like that. else, you won't need to bother us with how to ditch her.

Now, my advise to you is this:

First repent and then get a lady of your own. Someone who will love you and also understand your past. Next, you should win her trust and confide in her of your sexcapade with a dangerous co-worker. Once you can win your woman. begin by showing your woman to the lady and let her see the two of you together. I am sure it will send a message to her of your future plan. And if she remain adamant, you have to stop giving her whatever it is that made her attractive. She can't force you to hotel. And she can't force your penis to salute when she is around you. In short, you have to take control and be a man.

finally, you may have to confide in your boss if things get out of hand, provided you are as innocent as you claimed you are. If your boss is a good pastor, he will find it in his heart to forgive you and save you from humiliation. After all, christaninity is preaches forgiveness. If a pastor can't forgive, who else will?

Let your faith lead you aright!

@theolar
I couldnt go through the whole thread. But the bit I read made my day.
However, the poster is one out of many that are asking the same question. Unfortunately for her she, from what I have read, is the one limiting her chance of getting a man!

That said, you must realise that there are millions of singles who doesnt have time just like you. Your only means at getting them is to engage everyone positively without thought of marriage. Saying people are their best online is, to me, an unreasonable conclusion. Personally, I can read someone faster online than at a first date. It all depends on what you discuss and the mentality.

Having the right partner is both a grace and hardwork, you can get your man whenever you are ready!

@topic,
I dont know how true it is. But kids from broken homes tends to have some misgiving about families. As much as I can say it is not genetic but rather psychological programming which eventually gained ground in the victims lives.
Like someone have said, you can break the chain if you reprogramme yourself. Living with "steps" or a caring guardian is a great way to solve this. However, it is grace of God that can completely remove the problem.

From my observation of single parents, I saw hatred and revenge being their most potent languages. If kids are raised with such foundation, only grace of God can make them transform into a good family in future.

Outlandish!

Definitely!

@topup,

Thanks for the topic. I have see the result of the survey, I can now understand why we have many irrational replies,

It is there on the result collated so for, Well, that categories have the highest number of disgruntled and misinformed members of the populace, I am not surprised.

What is that something you are feeling for her? hatred or Love? Disdain or admiration?

This is a great opportunity for those of us who are professionals and those who are intellectually endowed and morally sound to offer help to the young ones. It is something that should be supported by all well meaning folks.

I strongly encourage anyone with good judgement to support this cause.

I willl surely be one of the first to apply,

wow!

My eyes must be playing jazz, who is this Abuzola that is promoting Islam while violating Islam etiquette of decorum? I have taken time to read his posts here and there s nothing to tell me that he has a valid point to make. I don't even understand his rant.

Are you saying the mukinah should support your every silly comments just because you are a muslim desiring of converting everyone to your illogical way of thinking,

I think instead of the xtains lambasting mukina to join Abuzola in calling her a terrorist, we should look at the underlying messages. It show that Mukina was not as biased as was often misunderstood. When a christian is punished, we shout, "Biased" but not that a muslim is punished, we called her terrorist! What else d you want? Mush she turn to pagan just to satisfy your yearning? Or must she become a Muslim to be seen as human?

Your logic baffled me!

@davenport,
Why Nigeria?


@poster,
when you meet your woman, what was the thing that turned you off? Did you see her before meeting her?

interesting!

What do we expect Emirate to do? To do positive publicity for Nigeria while lying to her numerous customers?

hmmmm I thought ladies in that age bracket are still in their parents' homes,

Nice one, it is a welcoming development, KSA is worthy of that honour,