₦airaland Forum

Yeah, I hope that is what she meant. I posted in general sense knowing that someone is reading while he boils within!

But, iice, how can your anger be as hot as red iron when you are always sub-zero temp? Anyway, I doubt you get angry that much. It is not in your character.

Why on earth would anyone cheat someone he claimed to love?

@sista,
that made sense.

@tytylayor,
I heard you don't do two, is that good? How about a handsome el godo?

I remember while still in school, we would be given tough assignments to solve. Most of us simply ignored it. The rare few among us that bothered to sleep in the lib will finally come up with a solution. On the second day, lazy students would start copying what we have done and submit it!

That is 30 marks! I was so naive at the time that I hardly submit my assignments. I thought what matter is that I know it.

Well it turned out that that assignment is in itself very crucial to our final scores! Sadly on the exam day the lecture would simply use the assignments as Exam questions!

For anyone with sense, how on earth do we expect a dullard (who simply need to memorise answers) to have first class if we run that kind of system? Yet, employers insists that is what they want!

Nobody is happy about it. But then, let assume that yaradua lost the case. Who will contest against him? Buhari, whose party had disowned or Atiku, whose party have just two states out of 36? He can't even count on the people who formed the party again. Beside, it is obvious he had lost interest in the case. Or how else can one explain his absence at court premise throughout the trial?

Some people are waiting in line to bank on the judgement. INEC and it contractors would be the greatest beneficiaries.

What we need do now is to pile up pressure on the idiots ruling us while appealing to great minds to come together and salvage the rots.

There is it! He has no right to mention it at all. I can't blame the graduate much as I would blame fake drugs. Graduates were made and circulated by the system, so we don't have to blame the product when manufacturers continue to roll them out and the regulators turn the other side.

Somebody granted them admision, by fair of foul. Another aided them to have a high grade even when he know that they don't merit it. Yet, there is the third element, the employers.

Employers contributed indirectly to the problem by insisting on high grade instead of competency. Imagine how many Nigerian graduates with unique ability that have been confined to mediocrity simply because the don't have first class certificates!

And the man with the power to make a change is passing the blame to the product he helped manufactured. I think he is still sick!

@poster,
could explain why all these guys are aeter you? Maybe that is the answer to your problems.

@Chatupkay,
Don't start mending fence by creating tension. Forget the new guy. By the way, you have not tell me how you know that the number belongs to a man.

Forget the new man and show you lady why you are the best for her. One line of recommendation I will make is for you ask her what are the things she dislike in you. Women don't just lose interest in their men, overnight. They must either have found someone better or they find something they hate in you.

Money can't buy true love, just know that. Don't talk of the new guy. At least not now.

You may however find time to pay her visit if she stay near enough. I know some guys that visited their ladies during NYSC. It is no offense if you can afford it.

Once again, I strongly advise you not to invest 100% in a shaky relationship. Love with care!

@adam brody,
I read your story. It is unfortunate you see it that way. I don't agree with the manner you view every woman as potential heartbreaker. If you truly want a happy relationship devoid of deciet, you have got to change first. Believe me, you are hurting yourself.

@spikedcylinder,
I don't know why you made that comment. But could you identify 3 reasons why you think the guy is at fault. Please do!

Let him bury his head in shame.

First he is the president, only him have the power to make a change. Second, he was a Nigerian lecturer, in Nigerian University. If he know deep down within him that Nigerian Universities are producing half baked graduates, then he must realise that he was part of the problems.

If as a lecturer, he can't do anything but blame the innocent graduates that are being fed garbage as knowledge, he must bury his head in shame and resign for a better man to do the job.

My take is that he is creating alibi to ignore education sector. He is already mapping out his strategy for failure.

I think the judgement is a blessing to Nigeria in many ways.

It save us from having to organize another election that PDP will win anyway. The oppositions are in disarray. They are already in PDP to benefit from govt jobs.

Wasting billions of money to confirm fraud as done in Bayelsa, Adamawa is not a better option.

I blame Buhari and Atiku for their lost. The two men had the goodwill of Nigerians to wrest power from PDP. All the were expected to do is for one to step down for the other so that progressives would align with one candidate. But they stuck to the selfish personal ambition.

I think Yar'adua has to complete his tenure. Let the opposition unite, and then restrategise for next election,

@Spikedcylinder,

well, you are also right!

I maintained that in such instance where there is a clear case of unfaithfulness, he was right to verify.

How many of us male and female, long to know who their partner is talking to? Maybe with the exception of those who don't have a heart.

Jealousy has it virture just as anger has it merrit.

I once told a lady I don't care who she was talking to. And guess what? She said I was heartless! And when you care to find who they are talking to, you hear words like : "what is your business?!" WOMEN!

@d obama,
you girl want to travel and you feel fucking her would help prevent her from cheating on you? Isn't that absurd?

Let me tell you, sex is like car battery. Once you charge it, you will have to service it once a while to keep it alive. Are you telling me you will follow her to her camp, so you can be there when she has the urge for sex?

Did she follow you to camp when you were doing yours?

When it come to issue like these, men need to be careful. If your partner want to cheat, she will. There is this law in philosophy which state that: WHEN ANYTHING WILL GO WRONG, IT WILL.

So there nothing you can do unless you either follow her to camp or stop her from going.

I have done my NYSC, I didn't touch a woman till end. I knew a lot of people who didn't even think of sex. I just wonder why some people think NYSC camp is a red light district. Admittedly people have sex there. That is because they hit it off.

If you partner is not worthy of your trust, why did you sustain the relationship? Why don't you look for someone else who have your absolute confidence?

Man, IF ANYTHING WILL GO WRONG, IT WILL. Don't give yourself heart attack,

@poster,
you will called names for what you did. You will insulted. But don't let it get over you.

You are right to check her call log, but you are very wrong to tell her or anybody for that matter. If I were in the same mess, I will check the log if that is the only mean to catch her. But I won't tell her.

No matter how much she love you, it is inevitable that she will meet a male friend. That she get closer to a man does not mean she is fucking the man. To get the fact, you have to be smart.

But in your own case, it is happening. Unlike d obama case. You have to handle it with extreme care. If a lady want to dump you, she will. Just take it as that.

Call her and act as if what happened was nothing. Tell her you were just joking about the call log (if you have told her). The apologize. That will set in motion a confidence rebuilding. If you can't do that, you won't ever get to the root of the whole matter. Just remove this feeling of insecurity first.

Next, I want to ask you why you think you can't afford to lose her. (this question also goes to D OBAMA) does it mean if she die during the service you will also follow her? I asked to outline the futility of man dying for another man in the name of lust.

Lo behold, I tell you verily verily, you must never fear to lose what you love. For that fear in it self would hasten the lost! Be wise. Man is a creature of emotion. Be in control of your emotion. Don't let your emotion control you. I have noticed that women hate men that are weak and insecured. They tend to capitalize on such weaknesses to unsettle the man, consciously or unconsciously. If you find that your woman is unfaithful and is out of control, why beg her to change? Exert your authority and call it quit. Let her do the begging. You have good job and don't feed on her, why die for her when millions out there(better than her) are single and searching?

By the way how did you know the number was that of a man when numbers don't carry gender tag?

Number 1: Do you realize that the girl can make you end up in jail? By checking her call log at your company you have violated privacy law which may cost you your job!

That said, I think you should apologize to her. Not because you are wrong but to make her calm down. If she accept your apology, then you can proceed on mending fence. If she doesn't, you must leave her alone!

Why? Because you have boxed yourself into corner by revealing to her that you check her call log. You should never have done that. You should never have told her where you get your information. If I were you, I would have said something else.

Calling the guy is useless. He would turn the table.

So what should you do next? I don't know. Until you provide more detail, advising you further is useless. Your action and lack of self control is going to cost you more than you thought unless you apply wisdom.

One of my creeds was "NEVER TO BE AFRAID OF LOSING WHAT I LOVE, for fear of losing is a CATALYST for eventual lost".

I am saddened by the fact that most relationship were wrecked because someone fear something!

I think the two of you should meet a lawyer.

At a stage in life of any human, he/she would raise kids. Since children are the essential foundation of any society, it goes without saying that they invariably have the power to determine the destiny of a nation.

The prosperity or otherwise of any society is hinged on the kind of children that is being bred therein. A corrupt nation is product of corrupt children. Between Good and Bad children lies the soul of any society.

An interesting fact however is that children are born innocent. They came into the world with open mind and then grew up to fit into whatever duty we assigned them.

Let use this thread to discuss the making and moulding of children destiny. Why are some children good and others bad, even though they are born alike? Why are some endowed with wisdom and others foolishness even though they pass through the same education systen?

Parents, and would-be parents, let's look into the most important role a responsible human will ever perform in life. Let look into the making of good children and bad children.

Sistawoman,
your hubby was right. He gave you the very clue that can help solve the problem. You have to learn to control your temper.

You said when you are annoyed everyone around you must know. That is a weakness. You can't have it like that always. Those witnessing the drama will silently resently you in their hearts and that is a bad reputation.

"The strong, calm man is always loved and revered. He is like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or a sheltering rock in a storm. Who does not love a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life? It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those who possess these blessings, for they are always serene and calm.

"how many people we know, who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character and make bad blood!

"yes, humanity surges with uncontrolled passion, is tumultuous with ungoverned grief, is blown about by anxiety and doubt. Only the wis man, only he whose thought are controlled and purified, makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey him."

James Allen.

@topic,
When you are annoyed, do NOTHING!

Let it go. Let your temper cool.

When you are calmed, then you can have word with your spouse.

Expressing annoyance while temper is on the rise should not be encouraged. If the other person is also annoyed, it will take wisdom to avoid conflict.

At any rate, it depend on the individuals and the object of annoyance.

Exactly.

The real lessons in life are learned outside homes though they begin from home.

Same here. I don't think it is good for progressive people to make resolution. But it is great to set goals.

In the last few months, I have been studying the partern of people doing yahoo yahoo business. I have gone to cybecafé and also interviewed the people involved. My finding revealed that most of them are ignorance of the gravity of their offence. They thought they are in business!

What is more, over 80% of the people I studied are either semi-illiterates or school drop-outs!

I also observed that they run a network which at time, with friends and "associates" abroad. There also share information among themselves. For instance the articles and false emails they circulate are created by some very smart ones among them. I wonder how long they spend composing the lies.

One boy, I interogated told me he had operated up to 50 emails within two months! He spoke as if he was going to "work!". He said, for instance "when I have much work, I spent 4 hours at café, "

When I asked what they gained, he said, "some people" send money, sometimes.

I strongly believe that some of them are in "business" because their victims are either greedy or desperate to have a partner.

The two most common way they make money are:
1. Offer of instant money to the victims.
2. Love scam.

I think unemployment and greed is one factor responsible for their act. They will run out of business when people learn to recognise the need to perform due diligent on their friends and stop sending money to complete strangers.

The fact is police can't stop them. Only the victims can. The biggest mistake police are making is raiding cybercafe. The raids often don't identify the scammers as both criminals and law abiding customers end up in detention. In the end, everyone will regain their freedom the following day as they have no evidence to procecute them.

The best approach is for plain cloth detectives to infiltrate their midst. I am sure alot of evidence would be obtained to put them behind the bar.

I am still learning though.

Spying have difference dimensions. Putting your spouse on surveilance may create problem if it turn out to be false and the other person find out. To be frank, the other person may never trust you again even though he/she had assured you it is nothing. He/she would put you on indefinite probation that forever place a big question mark on your integrity. What is more, such act would actually create insecurity and may drive the other person out of the home.

There are ways to spy on someone without having to jump into a trap.

@topic,
I must confess, this topic is one of the best I'd read so far on nairaland.

Many of us are into rat race running after things we may not use. Some say they are working to insure their old age. But by the time the old age arrive, the things they laboured for would have become obsolete.

The poster forget to add that in most case, the man would end up with high blood pressure. Some spend the bulk of that money trying to fix their health. Some ended up with hypertension. Some never even reach the old age as they die during the rat race.

Yes, the housegirl is enjoying the fruit of his labour! As for those who have no housegirl, they are labouring in vain! The house may make the best use of the opportunity in life. Everyone that benefit from her is benefiting from you.

I think the best way is to have a balanced lifestyle. That is something many people will resist anyway.

Taking annual vacation is not enough.

None!

That is very true especially where their own parents had establised effective bond.

Nevertheless, it is very essential for kids to learn how to adapt to change. Those who fail to adapt often grow up with negative conditioning. I am yet to see where someone who could not embrace change succeed in life.

Parents, whether step or real parents must understand this and learn to help kids adapt to changes. Failure to do so have a great consequence.

Meaning?

@spikedcylinder,
you are right. But why are they?

@sister woman,
well if you have difficulties in getting children to consistently perform their chores, then that cause for more works from you.

Please don't forget to hug their dad also. It multiplies the affection.

Iice,
thanks for that. It is well.

Lol

@karmabod,
you didn't have to say it. You see, by using MOST MEN, you must have done research on it. Well, it will surprise you to know that men who don't care about what happen to their children rarely bother to take the child from the mother when they are parting. And if they do, they are always quick to dispatch the unlucky child to an old grandma, never to check on them unless they happen to lose their ability to bear children again.

Which ever the case, I know that even some men in marriage don't care for their own children talkless of another man children. Let just learn to recognize them before they invade our homes. Whether man or woman, prevention is better than cure.

Outstrip,
I am sure you said that because you are fortunate to have a good obedien child and a good partner. Some parents are just not as lucky!

When there is a balance, it make parents proud. But that doesn't mean it is flawless.

@ebony,
that is why I said the child would need help. You may have to force them sometimes. Yielding to kids demand everytime, whether rational or irrational is the most wicked thing any parent can do to their children.

Let me give you a simple explanation. Some children, if given the chance would choose not to go to school. I am one of them! I remember, I hate school when I started my primary one. My mom has to cajole me by giving me food packed in my school box. But after a year, of forceful attendance, I started loving it. If parents were to give in to my "want" knowing that I am picking the wrong choice, I doubt if I would sit here today and blame myself!

Most cases of juvenile delinquent are moulded at home, when a child get everything and had the final say in everything, just because the parents love him.

Another case is that of school experience. You may like a particular teacher and detest another. Just because a student hate a teacher doesn't mean that teacher must be withdrawn from his class. Yet, that is exactly what some parents do.

If the man is good and upright, if he know his onion and is worthy to be a father, a brother, a husband; if you are convinced beyond doubt that this man was righteous, by any means, give him a free hand to help you kid and never side with any of them.

Why the question in the first place? I bet the poster assumed that the meat is impure.

Maybe I should ask the poster why he does not throw meats bought from Abatour away. He probably don't know that muslims killed the cows!