₦airaland Forum

Are these the same people that complained when Nigeria won gold medal in world corruption some years ago? Now they are willing to destroy the man that gave the country a better image. His offence was that he was "selective" in his war against corruption.

While I am neither a fan or foe or Ribadu, I would love to get answer to the following questions:
1. Is it really true that Ribadu did not go after OBJ friends and associates? If yes, what is Sunday Afolabi, Tafa Balogun to Obj?

2. How many of such confirned Obj friends whose hands had been soiled with corruption had been convicted by the present EFCC?
3. Why is the FG not bold enough to sack Ribadu when his tenure expired instead of sending him a course that later turn to be a smokescreen?
4. Why did the present FG unable to try Obj, and other accused long after Ribadu is gone?
5. What happened to all the case files Ribadu left before proceeding on study leave?
6. The house of Rep recently concluded probe on power sector, why is FG or EFCC silence on the issue?

I don't know, but I believe we can at least find someone with a good answer.

Barka da salah!

Wishing More life to this thread and more wealth to those who post there!

Shortage of good men or shortage of men in general?

It depends anyway.

Party time!

Well, since you are abroad, it shouldn't be something that bother you. Some people are just particrazy. Once you gave the signal that you are obeying them, they would arrange for Aso Ebi etc most of which empower them.

What you should do is wait till you are in Naija. By then, I expect them to have forgotten it. If they don't forget, maybe when you chance to do a naming ceremony, invite them and let them have their fill that is all. But if you have money to throw about, dance to their request. I am sure they will ask for more.

He did not even give the buyers the idea of what they are paying for.

CodeRED,
you are very correct in your observation. Let me add that there is no use in proceeding to marriage no matter how strong a love relationship is, if the man does not know how to relate with kids. Whether you have a child before or not. It is by ignoring this very important observation that man great love, resulted in lavish wedding, and ended with social nuisance as kids. It is by ignoring this fact that many women find out later that they are made to bear the responsibility of raising the kids alone. It is by ignoring that observation that some women end up with a husband that will sleep soundly at night while the woman keep awake all night singing to a wailing baby. It is not the final test, but like you put it, acid test.

As for kids that are selfish, that is equally true. I said it earlier. To be sure, one to know if indeed they are selfish.

@kamabod,
can you say because some men are insensitive, then every man is insensitive? That is a fallacy over overgeneralisation. We tend to look at the society one where an individual would represent the whole community.

A criminal was caught in Nigeria, therefore all Nigerians are criminals! Some men flirt in marriage, therefore all men are unfaithful! A man isn't concerned about his child, therefore all men are like him,

It is the thinkings like these that hinder societal growth and cripple mutual trust. Most people now go into relationship expecting a cheating partner, and to their prediction, they get what they imagined. If only they had been told that our thought are very capable of transforming to reality if watered enough in a fertile environment.

Men that didn't introduced their kids to their would be wives are just like women who don't. It is those who have something to hide that would behave that way. We all know our society is not perfect, so expecting everyone to do good is a sign of weakness.

Man or woman, if you already have a kid then introduce him to your spouse before marriage. Anything else is an attempt to hide something and then pave the way for conflict at home.

Ebony silk,
What is a psychological problem? It is a problem connected with a person's mind,

The problem is in the mind. FYI, what we thinks affect our persons and at times can become a social desease at the extreme. I can assure you that most of the social problems we are seeing are cases that were implanted first in the mind of the suffers. It is when they don't recieve the right attention that they become diseases.

Let me give an example. A kid whose dad had just remarried loathed the step mum so much. The step mom is a nice no nonsense woman. But the child never get to like either her or the father. So they don't live together but live within the same compound. The father is a womanizer and the circustance of his dumping the child mother was brutal and still fresh. The child, probably believed he was not loved so he didn't get along with step mom. The grand mother lived in the same compound, so it turned out that he prefered staying with grannie than his parent.

He grew up in such environment, untreated, and isolated from his dad. As a grown up man, he started seeing the world with disgust. He trusted no one and treat women like a game,

It is a long story. I know because the boy in question was my childhood friend. We lived in the same compound and played together. When I grew up I became another man. I was not infected with his "stinkin thinkin" because my parents protected.

When I was 18, I had to leave my parent and live with the boy's parent-his dad and step mom. By then, I had develop inquisitive mind that enable understudy the family. Luckily the said boy was living with us too, this time, far away from the grand mother. Yet, he didn't settle well in the family because he had conditioned his mind not to accept them as parent due to what happened to his mom,

And if the problem is because he felt that he had not been introduced to the man, then it is easily solved. But in this case, they are already living together. So that can't be the case.

That will be if the child has a psychological problem. In that case the parents must help him. Still the root cause must be ascertained.

Let assumed that a child don't want to have anything to do with a step dad. He must either have seen something in that man that created the resentment or he felt the man is there for the wrong reason. If that child is matured, a grown up, then he must be seeing, or thinking of something negative about the man. In such case, he need to be educated. He need to be persuaded. He also need to open up. And if he stubornly refused to see reason, he should be left alone! But not totally alone.

But if the child is immatured and young, he may be feeling insecured, and uncertained about future. (I assumed that the step dad is perfectly okay in all departments). To help him my earlier suggestions applied.

But if by your question, you mean he doesn't want to have anything to do with any step dad at all. Then the problem is psychological.

To that, I will ask you a question: when you want to inject a sick child with a syringe. What happened? Resistance as a result of fear. But eventually you have to calm the child down one way or the other. Either by force or by persuasion,
Use the same trick,

Additionally, one need to take into consideration the circumstance of his real dad departure. In whatever case it may be, know the cause before applying remedy.

I won't be surprised if it turn out to be false alarm. The woman needs help seriously.

@Ebony silk,
the solution is simple but would demand wisdom.

First you need to put what Siena said in consideration. I mean communication. Whether with mum or kids, communication( not talking) is a great weapon that can solve any problem.

One way to tackle such case is to unravel the cause of problem.Then who is culpable. Is the man responsible? Are the kids just being emotional?Dissect the problem and try to get the facts. Once you are able to locate the root of the problem, then you can proceed to solve it.

Let assume that the kids feel insecured and think the step dad want to deprieve them of their mum's love. What to do is to first talk to the man in private. The man must realise he had a role to play and must be able to play his part well. Unless he is a wicked, or immatured person, he should be able to understand. The kids need to be carried along. They need to be informed. They need to be convinced. This is one of the things that happen in marriages. That is what make marriage challenging. I believe any man that can not handle such a scenerio will not be able to handle even his own child when he run into serious problem that involve the kids. Little wonder why many parents can't control their own children.

I have seen alot of that scenerio where a father find it hard to communicate with his own son. Like the one I handled two weeks ago.

If you felt that you and the step dad can't handle it, engage a counsellor. It helps.

On the other hand, if there real father is still alive, and you find that the kids' behaviour is because they want to be reunite with him, I think it is wise to let the go! But do it after having talk to them.

@hauwa,
hmmm, no one pray to have more than one husband, but sometimes, it is only way to be sane when things don't work the way they are planned. For instance some couple that married early may lose of the partner. Most around late 20s to early 40s can't cope alone.I think remarrying is good for them if they found the right mam

Nice idea! A woman who had kids and need to remarry must learn to see the beauty of that act.

When you have someone you want to marry, then bring him home! Let him get familiar with the kids. Let the kids see him. It is important. At that stage you will see the sign of hamony or discord between them. It is a clear sign.

Well, I am not married. But I have seen difference type of marriages.

Regarding the topic. Children can be selfish when it come to issue like this. If their father is late, they would wish he were alive. In truth, the mother have a role to play. But taking or not taking side is out of place. If you want the man to treat the kids as his, then she must not interfere. Even real fathers disagree with their kids.

At any rate, it depend on the personalities involved and the kind of father they had.

If they are used to pampering by old father while step dad is a moralist, the mother must not intervene! She either take the kids to the father's parent or let a real man teach them moral. That is if she want the new marriage to stand.

However, if the step dad is overzealous type whose idea is out of place, the blame is on the mother for marrying him. In such case, the rule remains. DON'T ARGUE IN FRONT OF CHILDREN. The adult would sort it out in private. And if they need to split to bring peace to the home so be it! I just hope they have no kid between them, But if they have kids, then commmmon sense will solve the problem.

I will rather have a broken relationship than a broken marriage. So I broke up with when I knew it would be a marrige of convinience. Well, i did that with her conscent anyway.

Back to you, Adam,

What if the lady had died? Will you turn your life into a wreck and give up on God simply because he killed your lover?

What if you two marry and the marriage turn out to be a house of horror where peace has no place?

What if she did that to you when you have married or at worst on you day of joy?

Your faith in God was the reason you are saved from the worst possible outcome if you had insisted on the relationship. But you failed to see the hands of God and the opportunity before you.

You are like a son whose father took away his (son) car because it has a faulty break. The father wanted to help so he took the car away without explaining so he can repair or replace it. But in respond, the son went to jump into lagoon, threatening to kill himself unless he get back the car as it were!

Rescued, while still not yet recovered, he vandalized every new cars presented to him and still insists on getting the faulty car!

You may love the girl, no doubt, but she is gone. What else do you want? She called you a weakling and had openly flirted with other men. She was right, as long as you fail to see the big picture.

What is the way out? Please pick one of the following options:

1. Would you rather prove to the lady that you are not a weakling by being successful in another relationship as well as in your work?

2. Would you rather prove her right by letting your life be ruinned by alcohol and weeds while women coming across you help spread the story of your weakling and infidelity?

You have a choice. When you have made a choice come back and you will be guided.

Hello Adam,
I read your story and a few addition you added to it. I greatly sympathise with you. I realize that if I blame you, I would be adding fuel to the flame in your heart. And if I blame the lady, I would be indirectly encouraging you to use and dump women and hence multiply your troubles.

Obviously, you are one of those who see the world simply from two angles : good and bad. Wise men know that our world is more complicated than that. Again, you sounded as someone who was raised to expect only what is favourable to you, simply because you pray to God. You also look to me as someone whose childhood didn't taste sorrow. I may be wrong.

That said, I want to congratulate you for being dumped by that lady. She was, in the light of what you said about your experience, quite frankly, right to dump you. I am expecially happy that you are still in touch with her.

Don't get me wrong. I am not mocking you. I am here to tell you the home truth and if possible, help you to get back on your feet if you desire to rise and walk into victory.

Firstly, you have to realized that you not alone. There are people with greater challenges and they refused to give up and surrender to sorrow.

Secondly, you knew that the lady was not in love with you, yet you hinged your hope on her! You said it at the beginning that you have your up and downs and are hoping thing sort out. That is an evidence that something was wrong in the relationship. But you hid under the religiou banner and expect the reverse to be the case simply because you believe in God!

Adam, let me tell you I had had two broken relationship. One was like yours, the lady simply walked away without reason to the waiting arm of another man. I cried and begged, but eventually let go. Today, I thank God that we broke up! The second one was my own making. I had grown wiser than to allow lust blindfold me. I never maltreated her. I call it off because I found that we have irreconcible differences,

this is very serious, But I believe anything can come out from the experience.

Beware of marrying a man just because his only password is that he is a muslim, It is a trial. BEware of marrying a man just because he claim to love you,

what many of us seem to have ignored is that, the man you will marry is known afforehand to the creator,

many people are impatience with Love, hence they fall into the hand of Mr or Mis wrong, what we call love is in many way, lust,

dear poster, take it cool and be calm. Pray to god, be friend to all but do not compromise your conviction as long as you are in the right path. Let God do it for you,

You will surely smile at last, And if your igbo man turn muslim, that would mean something to you are him, but it would be tough, yet, anything can happen.

to your progress.

she needs help,

what a crap!

If the woman want to become Governor, let her wait till 2011, she must not go beyond her bound, Like it or not, she is not a governor,

I am sorry for Nigeria. 40b naira equipment parked in orbit? By the way, I hope the chinese builders are competent enough to handle it repair.

Nigeria needs help!

Can this thread be real?

And commuters are made to pay high fare just because some jobless people are making vocation of begging.

Militancy in Nigeria is not that uncontrolable. I strongly believe that our soldiers are up to it.

But people thinking that Army would just walk up to the militant camp and bomb it up are radiating ignorance. Cameroun can do that because they are not our people. Nigerian Army can be corrupt, but they are not babaric.

To solve ND problems, we first had to address their grievances and stop the blame game.

As for the NYSC, I think corp members shouldn't be posted to volitile regions. Afterall police are not posted to war zones.

Na tru o! Politicians don't steal money like before. They don't carry Ghana must go again, but, they have re-invented corruption.

Now, they increase their salary every 6 months, got fat security votes, inflated contract or award contracts to their cronies. Things are changing,

Just to show them pepper!

***shedding tear in agony***

Speechless!

@nuzo,
I am not a sexist. You are probably reading my post for the first time. Go do the research.

Secondly, It is better to have a WAEC holder with human compasion and ability to deliver on target is far better than the man with multiple Doctorate Degree that don't know how to lead. Is a surprise that most of the world greatest achievers are not academia? Thomas Edison, the man with one of largest patent to his credit didn't spend up to a year in the class. Bill Gates was said to be a school drop out. Segun Awolowo hasn't got a Degree when he began his political career. We can go on and on.

Thirdly, on why some women tend to perform better when given leadership position. I have an idea here. It is always true though.

One, they are the underdog when it come to public life. And therefore the whole community would be watching to see what they do. Critics are on hand to magnify their failure etc. So, smart women, conscious of this complex would go extra mile to prove they can also perform. It wasn't as if they possess any special gift, it is just that they want to show they want to show they have something to offer. Men on other hands are the predator, they are only afraid of the canibals among themselves not among the women.

Finally, male or female, the brain and the mind remain the same. I don't think people who think with their "sex" organ ever go farther than their extended family.

Kobojunkie,
I feel you jare. The guy need to be reminded that Nigeria is blessed with talents. So many Doctorate Holders home and abroad that the rest of the world envy us. But we are still underdeveloped even when those prof. Found their way to govt. Think of Babalola Borishade, the prof who failed woefully in managing 3 ministries including that of his own constituencies. Anyway, I also need to remind him that developed countries don't place emphasis on education and career alone in choosing their leaders.

You seem to have lost the key element of my argument. I am afraid, I don't argue for argument sake. You may find it hard to draw me into that.

My point is simple and clear. MERE ACADEMIC AND PROFESIONAL ACCOMPLISMENT IS NEVER THE BEST WAY OF ASSESSING LEADERSHIP CAPABLILITY WHETHER IN MALES OR FEMALES. If you have difficulty getting that point, then we need you as Nigerian Next President.

Madam NSE was not the most accomplished public official in the land. Without the Banking Consolidation and other reforms, instituted outside NSE, she could NEVER have achieve so much. Don't give her the credit that isn't her own initiative.

Akunyili succeeded NOT because she alone went about chasing fake drug manufacturers. Without the BACKING OF SECURITY AGENTS (which was lacking in the past) she would never have achieve so much. Okonjo Iweala was credited with many economic reform of OBJ, but we tend to forget that she was operating with the president economic team. Which comprises, El Rufai, Soludo, and other worthy citizen. According to reliable source,( these was confirmed by Iweala herself), these kitchen cabinet of Obasanjo dictated the tune of the economic policy of that era.

When you guys talk about individuals, you talk as if those people act unilaterally. It is cheer ignoramous to expect an individual, no matter how intellectually sound he/she may be to succeed when everyone else is against him/her.

I refuses to believe anyone can save Nigeria without everyone else.

I male or female, leadership is not entirely subject to career/educational success.

I bet if you are in United States, you would say only Hilary Clinton can solve American economic woes! Or that Obama/Mcain are the most intellectually endowed in USA. If that is not so, the

Lol!

That would be WASOBIA tribe of course!

Hey I forgot to mentioned mama NSE! That Obama fund manager. She would make a perfect incorruptible president. With the way she went about Obasanjo Third Term agenda, and Obama Dinner, her track records is unasailable.

@kobojunkie,
that made sense. I just hope feminist campaigners see the logic.

My thinking is that the poster, like many of his ilk, equates academic and professional accomplishment with leadership capability. That kind of thinking is what is retarding Nigerian development.

All the ladies mentioned above no doubt has great academic and profesional records. But whether they will make a good leaders or not is another thing.

There are so many profesors in this country that are impoverished. Including professors of Economics! That is not a news. So let not decieve ourselves by looking at these people as the Nigerian savior.

You must be having fun at your own expenses. May I ask you why UK, US, Japan and other developed countries didn't hinged their development on Gender motivation. Perhaps you thought those countries didn't have more than Okonjo Iweala etc.

You sounded as if you are portraying menfolks as corrupt, irresponsible. Farida waziri had been out performing Ribadu. She had jailed all corrupt Gov and had their files kept securely in National Library. She has also recently concluded investigation of former president obasanjo. See why ALL ladies are better equiped as leaders. Etteh was the first Female house of Rep speaker. During her tenure, the House had relative peace and is corruption free. She was removed by greedy MENFOLKS who are bent on ensuring NO WOMAN ever rule this country.

Adenij Grange was another outstanding, corrupt free female leader Nigerian had produced. During her tenure, there is no bribe, no pilfering of public funds. All unspent funds were returned to Fed account. She is presently on trial because she is a WOMAN!

My friend, don't sentimentalise issues as this. We all know that we have better women than Okonjo Iweala, Dora Akunyuli etc. But, think of it, why weren't in public domain? The answer is not because they are chained. The answer can, if well researched, be found to be the same reason Good men don't have the chance of ruling Nigeria,

Nigerian destiny is in our hand. If we ended up with corrupt leaders, it is either because we helped put them there or we refused to actively vote for good leaders. Forget the fact the elections were rigged. We made the rigging possible in the first place when majority of the populace sold their votes for fez caps, T-shirts and flying Naira!

He had a good case at the wrong court. I would have prefered he wait till he meet God before presenting his case. I am sure that time will come.

So what is the solution? State police or Effective police?