₦airaland Forum

The wailing of an injured woman?

Oh gosh! Why don't you settle it indoor? Why here? Am sure he is reading this. It would hurt his pride the more.

@topic,
I diagrees.

Distance is never a barrier in relationship. And I can tell you that it depend on who you are dealing with.

Yeah 54 times is a disturbance. If fact, a bad habit even if they are married and in long distance. But, I still want to believe that something must have transpired in the dark to warrant that frequency.

It is not against human nature to trust. Please take note.

Next?

I think a point or two is missing on this topic. Or maybe an exception. It is not fair to criminise such girls until one know the background of their desperation. I am of view that exception abounds.

For instance, when she is with the gal, what kind of discussion do they have when they are together? What is the level of their relationship? Are they dating or just friends?

And on this call thing. Is it "calling" or "flashing"? There is a wide gap between the two.

So, being objective makes one realize what is at stake.

Men and women has a difference definition of desperation. I have noticed however, that in most cases, the word is used out of context. At times, it is wrongly applied.

@poster,
you really stunned me with your reply to my questions. Unbelievable! Let us be honest here, you are spoiling him. If the story is true, then, I can tell you that you are already preparing for him to spend his old age as a beggar. At 35 plus with no reasonable cert, nobody will employ him with 30k per month salary. Did you know how much OND are being paid? The guy is living in fool's paradise.

I think it is time for action. Call him and have a heart to heart talk with him. Let him realize he can never get a job paying that much with that cert. Let him go and think of what to do and train him. Stop saying he had no nerve for trading, you are limiting him. In fact, you are spoiling him. He has no other option except to ride okada or work as security guard in a bank.

Map out a plan for him. Then ensure that you follow it.

Next, start withdrawing your financial support. If you have been giving him 30k per month as pocket money, cut it to 10k. That is where he belongs. However, make it gradual. Tell him you are cutting it because things are not the same with you. At the same time, that period must be the time you help him build his career.

You can die tomorrow, anyday. Does it mean he would follow you to heaven? Who would give him money afterward?

The guy is being wasted. And whoever raised him up had done a shoddy job.

It is never too late to reform him. Let him starve if he enjoy starving. But NEVER give him money beyond 15k maximum. Later cut it to 10k. However, if he dines and wines in your house daily, slash it further to 5k per month! Let him feel the heat until he is able to reason.

This is just an opinion. That is if he is an able body man.

On a comical note,
there are jobs that can fetch him 30k per month.
1. Begging on lagos street.
2. Yahoo yahoo
3. Security guard at any leading bank or one of lagos streets.
4. Okada riding
5. Danfo driver/bus conductor
6. Shit business
7. Labourer at construction sites.
8. Robbery

That is, if he can't trade.

.

Yoruba men are funny about what? Well, it depends on how you present yourself and why you left your former husband. If you are a reasonable excuse and you are good for him, he would take you. At 38, I don't think he would reject a 34 year lady.

By the way has he proposed to you or you are trying to propose to him? Because, he must have seen your status before approaching you. And if he is still in the dark, tell him and let him decide what to do.

Allow him to suffer and let him waste his life? Allow him to go on and let him waste his chance? Allow him to go on. . .

I am never going to tell you to do the above. I am going to ask you questions before advising you.

1. How old is he?
2. Did you ever bother to know why he couldn't get job? If yes, what was the outcome? If NO, then, you are not a good sister!
3. What business did he try to undertake, did you follow it up to know if the business is feasible or not? Are you sure he did his homework before he embark on it? What was your role as the financier of the venture?
4. What kind of upbringing and lifestyle did your brother had? Is he your only brother? Is he a womanizer?
5. What about your parents? Dead or alive? Are you married?
6. Did you sat him down and talk to him about his state? What was the atmosphere like?
7. What course did he studied and grade? Is he an intelligent guy of a dullard?

Please give reply. But before then, I would say the worst decision you can ever make is to make him suffer. Suffering don't impact any lesson to a spoilt brat. It rather pushes him to crime and desperation. Yes, you are partly responsible for his state. I would tell you why after I get your reply. I don't like blaming people but then, let hear you.

Easybaby,
cool down now. Almond is only here to bring joy. Iice is coming back. It seem she had a little hold up.

Almondjoy,
I doubt if I can start looking a profiles but I tries when I am free. Especially, when I want to understand somebody I don't know. You see, reading people's posts in enough for me to understand them. But some people are just to close to call. So I go to their past posts to dig deeper. You can only find that on their profiles.

Easybaby,
cool down now. Almond is only here to bring joy. Iice is coming back. It seem she had a little hold up.

Almondjoy,
I doubt if I can start looking a profiles but I tries when I am free. Especially, when I want to understand somebody I don't know. You see, reading people's posts in enough for me to understand them. But some people are just to close to call. So I go to their past posts to dig deeper. You can only find that on their profiles.

Perished? I doubt that. You would find that you can adjust to the change.

When I went to live with my guardian for two years after secondary school, I only have the benefit of watching tv 2hour a week! That is no joke. And we watch it on saturday nights only. And through that period, I don't know what Nigerian tv stations look like as we only watch video.

The next two years, I was in school. Again, NO TV throughout not even video. By then, I have adjused so when I actually came in contact with tv, it look like a useless box. Till day, except football and news and occasional movie, I am out. It won't kill you, iice, it would make you closer to your hubby and possibly nairaland.

Haaaagh! That is interesting! I thought it only happem in the South!

Well, the girls are having their ways. I can count up to 3 instances where they got their wishes. That is to get pregnant for the guy if he turn out to be a real family man. Most responsible guys would accept the baby and the wife. That account for why guys marry ladies they don't love and why a good guys suddenly marry a bad lady just because she got pregnant for him. My friend fell victim to this kind of trick. But he had learn to take the lady. While the lady he love is still mourning her loss.

Girls are becoming predators now!

Enough to make an album? I am one of those who lost out. I hardly check people's profile. I don't know why. I didn't even update mine.

Maybe you can restart the whole thing. After all this is 2008. You are adding a year to your age.

Well said. Unfortunately, some people see lust in very negative way.

But before 2020, we should be up and doing. The children and adults to be raised between now and then would need protection. So my suggestion is that tv programmes should be suspended till we realize Vision 2020 so that we can have a cleaner beginning.

Somehow, the damage had been done already.

Mature mind also have lust. But infatuation is what they won't possess.

How do I do that? Don't worry. I would send it. I don't promise, but I shall see!

Ayeesha, are you interested?

How do I do that? Don't worry. I would send it. I don't promise, but I shall see!

Ayeesha, are you interested?

Yeah DBD, It means Deaf Blind, and Dumb viewer.

There is hope. But I doubt if the proponent of Vision 2020 would be alive then. Abacha initiated vision 2015 and we all know that he is still pursuing the dream with a vigour.

Lol.

Are you an admirer?

I like seeing the wrong side of people. If I weren't busy, I'd have send you a roasted chicken as val gift when I know that you allowee is running out.

I have never seen anyone that fall in love without having it root in lust. Lust is the seedling that brought forth love. No Lust No love. So, whatever one say, lust is very normal feeling. It is like salt. It mustn't be too much, else it grows to infatuation.

There will always be women who are ever ready to get pregnant at the slightest opportunity. And there would always be men who would flee at the hearing of pregnancy. That is why, inspite of there being more men than women, more women remained unmarried. And men always have a way of going back to claim the paternity of the child years after his abscondment.

In the end, I believes, such lady as mentioned above gives other ladies bad reputation. They are best as foster mums unsuitable for marriage.

Almondjoy,
that is why we are giant in everything. I hope something would be done in year 2020. That is the year every stupid potitician want Nigeria to be better.

Iice,
you aint a DBD viewer then. You are smart.

That is why I gave him an open answer.

Yes, if he is lucky.

No, if he is unlucky.

But, in the end, he can only get what is destined for him.

Seriously, I don't know of any. I stopped watching tv long ago. I mean Nigerian tv except for news. That is why tv is permanently on Channels Tv. And CNN. A lady came visiting me on new year and was surprised at my choice of channels. I don't choose for my guests. But once they are out, I switch it back to news channels or science programme.

Talking of educationally tv on Nigerian TV, I know none o. Maybe KALI and TAWA would do. Seriously, Papa Ajasco and Super Story is what I heard from people. No single science programme. I think there is nothing worth mentioning. But if you ask me to mention entertainment, ha, we get them abundantly. Sound city, Nigerzie, Music Africa, that one run for about six hours daily and nightly. Too numerous to mention. People don't watch them anyway. Home video, internet, and mp3 is taking over.

God helps the up and coming youths.

happily single!

Yes and No!

Let me clarify what DEAF BLIND AND DUMB viewers mean. They watch films like papa Ajasco, the only they see is mama Ajasco bumbum and papa Ajasco and Pa james baldness; they only thing they hear are those word that incited laughter. And the only thing they talk about are the useless comedy from the film. Maybe a sentence or two. That is actually funny.

They would NEVER see, hear, or talk about the glaring moral the film is projecting.

Ask any DBD (Deaf, Blind and Dumb) viewer what he saw after a major TV programme and you will sorry for the producers.

Let me give you an example from personal experience. Whenever Abacha deliver a national broadcast the only thing I remember is a LARGE GOOGLE and a dark man sitting behind it.

When I watch "INSIDE OUT" with Agatha, I sees people arguing for the sake of argument. That is examples of DBD viewers.

For adult, it is manageable. For children, it is a serious disease that can only be cured by taking the tv away from home. Unfortunately, when ht come to TV, some adult are in fact children with chronic infection.

I love that. I wish Nigeria would follow that path!

@poster
thank God she is changing. But your friend must not relax! Look, she may be using what Robert Greene called " The surrender tactic." she back out of the dangerous game when she know she would lose. So as to restrategise for a better and more effective plan. "Let's be just friends", she would say. Then friends sees daily, meets daily. You know they work in same environment. Soon, both would relax and your friend would not know when the friendship transmogrify into love. It is a possibility if he let her come closer in this circumstance.

I am a fan of Machieavelli, and I can tell you that your friend is in trouble if he "be just friend" with a lady that had gone that far with him in the past. Tell him to avoid her altogether! As Robert Greene said "crush your enemy completely" if it is possible that he can become more vicious than ever after he recovers.

If he/she can't resign from that office then he must dine with her with a long spoon until the spirit of desperation is completely cured. That is until she get another bobo to tango with.

Naja Haja,
well, It would be nice to watch me bark like I did. I am sure you would have fun. Fortunately, it won't happen again! Maybe, possibly if I act a film.