₦airaland Forum

Almondjoy,
I am still sensitive. But I had learn how to vomit the bitter truth even at the risk of losing face. I let my intuition work out something while commonsense prevails.

I quite understand the poster. It is not that she delibrately hurt herself. She is being haunted by the past. That is number one problem and her biggest problem. Her being born again has nothing to do with her disappointment. The real issue lies in her.

My favourite quote is that of James Allen:

"not what he wish and pray for does a man get. His wishes and prayers are only gratified WHEN HARMONIZED WITH HIS THOUGHT AND ACTION.

I have not doubt in my that behind her repeatition of "due to past experiences" phrase, we would find the real reason why she is drawn to guys with sex instinct. I can also not rule out the possibility of the guys trying to eat their cakes.

The question is "why must they be born agains?" and the answer is that "most of those born agains guys and gals are not real. Even pastors that baptized them fornicate when opportunity present. Most of the so-called born agains are first class candidate to Hell.

What is the way out? That is another issue on it own.

Almondjoy,
I am still sensitive. But I had learn how to vomit the bitter truth even at the risk of losing face. I let my intuition work out something while commonsense prevails.

I quite understand the poster. It is not that she delibrately hurt herself. She is being haunted by the past. That is number one problem and her biggest problem. Her being born again has nothing to do with her disappointment. The real issue lies in her.

My favourite quote is that of James Allen:

"not what he wish and pray for does a man get. His wishes and prayers are only gratified WHEN HARMONIZED WITH HIS THOUGHT AND ACTION.

I have not doubt in my that behind her repeatition of "due to past experiences" phrase, we would find the real reason why she is drawn to guys with sex instinct. I can also not rule out the possibility of the guys trying to eat their cakes.

The question is "why must they be born agains?" and the answer is that "most of those born agains guys and gals are not real. Even pastors that baptized them fornicate when opportunity present. Most of the so-called born agains are first class candidate to Hell.

What is the way out? That is another issue on it own.

I am sure a lot are wrong somewhere. Reading her post is enough to conclude she is the problem.

Gloria?
There is something wrong with you. Please don't look at issue from one side. Romance is not defined from religion angle.

I repeat, THERE IS A LOT WRONG WITH YOU. I would have to meditate on you to find out what is wrong.

One thing I can tell you in all certainty is that EVERYBODY CANNOT BE ALL WRONG at the same time.

Location?

Location?

What would zignor do with Dagger? He is born again. Beside he can't kill a mosquito.

By the way, how do you manage to come to nairaland inspite of the weather? I supposed you should be warning yourself in a heater.

Anyway, heard they are freezing in china. It is a good development if it can help reduce their population. How I wish you are there to give us report.

Zignor? Born again?


that is great to hear
Pls get in touch with me on YIM I got a message for you from Abuja, your being a born again had made you abandoned your pals.

How is easy baby? has she put to bed? I dreamt that she is pregnant! I hope I was wrong, just a dream sha.

I am not aware of such certification in Nigeria. Maybe some people would bring it on. However, there were trainings in some areas depending on specialisation. Eg. Automobile, Industrial maintanance etc

Nairaland wedding? Oops! Happy married life!

@poster,
when you talk to your friend, let her know that real men are hard to find. The man you meet yesterday wearing the garment of perfection may well be hidding his short comings from the world. You can not know a man through his smiles.

After she gave you her reasons, tell her to arrange a meeting with the guy and tell the guy the truth. They have been friends for four years, it is tough, but she must open up. Since her silence would give the guy false hope and complicate his problem.

He would cry and beg. That is normal in heart breaks. My heart bled for the guy though. I can feel his pain. He is a man, let him take it.

The guy would naturally call you to beg her. Tell him, you have tried your best and you wouldn't want to be at the cross-road.

Thereafter, stay away from their wailing party. If in future your friend regretted her action, you can always console her and remind her of her error. And if she was right to quit, you would still be there to smile with her.

At 27, I believe she still have enough time to romance another man. I wishes her goodluck. And you too.

@poster,
CONGRATULATION!

Welcome to the University of Reality!

So far, you don't get belle, it is worth throwing party.

Those condeming the guy without hearing him are simply wasting their time. Adjudicating without hearing both sides of dispute is a serious blunder. From the poster's language, she sounded young at heart and grossly inexperience. She lost her virginity not because of love but because she wanted to lose it. My favourite slogan at University of Reality is that NO ONE CAN FORCE YOU TO DO ANYTHING UNLESS YOU ARE A WILLING PARTICIPANT.

Back to your problem. I won't believe the guy walked away just because of Religion unless he is a fanatics. And muslim fanatics won't come near a christain in the first place. Neither would he sleep with you just like that. Again, muslim men don't mind marrying a christain lady at all. What is more, your dad was once muslim. You have the root in you.

The issue therefore go beyond religion. He is tired of you. That is all.

What should you do?

Forget him and stay single for awhile to re-evaluate yourself. What went wrong. I sensed your temperament from your post. And You didn't tell us if the guy promised you marriage. Even at that, I have seen young ladies lose their head to over-excitement thinking it is love.

Anyway sha, I know you can still win him back if you want to. I am sure of that. But wait, haven't I just said you should forget him? Indeed, that is hard. But you have the last word.

My advice to girls is to always look before jumping to a guys bed. Some guys thinks with their phallus. Beware!

It is hard to convince someone to love another. It is tough to expect her to marry him if she had no feeling for him. But, looking at this case, they have been in it for four years, I can tell you two things:
1. Your friend had found another man and she is hoping,if the man has not proposed to her, that he would sooner do.
2. Your friend had a new idea what it means to Love.It may be a delusion, and it may not.

On these two,she is unlikely to confide in you due to you closeness to the guy.

That said, while I agree with Aisha that you should stay out of it;the truth is that you can't extricate yourself now.You must exercise great caution in dealing with the issue.My most important advice to you is that YOU MUST NEVER BE A CARRIER OF BAD NEWS. Whatever your sentiment,find an excuse why you can't carry the news.Let her tell the guy herself. And,one more word, don't be in attendance during the period.

So, how do you handle the mess?

Very simple. Tell the guy to give you time extention. That way, you would have enough time to strategize. Also it would allow you to know more.

Next, have a heart to heart talk with your friend this weekend. Don't talk to her with the intetion of admonishing her. It is useless. I once had a similar issue with a lady everyone had though I would marry. I told my friends that I have my reasons. But their attempt at crucifying me of how good the lady was actually made me hate the lady! I started seeing the lady as desperate. I simply nailed the coffin on the affair. Not even my mum could change my mind!

The lesson? Always listen to the other sides before mediating in a cracking relationship. Your friend may have a good reason for turning the guy down. Like my case, my primary reason was that very sound. I don't need to know a lady for years before I know her stuff. By the way we all define "kind" differently.

Talk to her and hear her out without advising her. Let her pour out her heart and tell her you would give your opinion later.

I don't think so. It is going to need you physical presence. This is Engineering, not management.

They trains and recruit. You can also try the link above.

Any specific area? You know Engineering is diverse.

By the way are u in Nigeria?

Pls try Huawei Technology at Adeola Odeku V. I.

It is not hard to do. No matter how busy you are, you can balance the two. It depends on the nature of your job. I can try to help though. But then, I would naturally ask questions since we are not seeing face-to-face.

I hope yimiton would join the dialogue.

Ifyalways,
he is alive o. I don't think he want to die anymore.

Thanks for the complement.

Naja Haje,
thanks.

Ika,
Thank you o. So I am now a questionaire? I hope that isn't a title.

Mukina2,
CIV won't win the cup. If they win, I would dash you nairaland.

I would wait for next batch. At least it may be by December. I just hope, they would be twin. So I can slip my name for them both.

Don't worry about nimbus, I got something better. The dreambus. I would soon be there if I don't miss my way.

Lesson 4.
Learn to improve your communication. Communication and talking are far apart in term of result they produce. Everybody can talk, but not everybody communicates. From your posting above, you radiates negative mentality. And if you communicates that way in real life, God help you! You don't need Wole Soyinka head to do that. Just a simple common sense and self confidence could have helped you.

MY ADVICE
1. Forget her and let you fragile heart heal. But if you want her at all costs, then first extirpate the cowardly thought you haboured in you. Be ready for further disappontment. Anything can happen even if she had to pour pepper soup on your face. You must be ready to smile all the way home.
2. If you agree to forget her, face your study and make a good grade. She would love you for that. But if you want to try your luck again, send her a beautiful card and say sorry for wasting her time. Expect your card in trash can. But don't give up. Buy her things she can't resist even if it takes your last kobo. One day goddess of luck may smile at you.
3. Learn how to communicate. And stop talking. Take note that communication doesn't implies cramming Oxford Dictionary. Change your attitude and build your courage. You can still communicate with the lady. But pretend you are no more interested in her. Let her see in you why she need to fraternize with you. Let her see what you have to offer.

Make friends and socialise. That would ease your tension.

Finally, Anuki, always remember that every umpleasant experience you encounter in life were meant to impact a useful lesson in your life. Take that rejection like a man and celebrate your failure while consciously making attempt at success. Before you know it, you would be envy by those who rejected you.

Goodluck.

Anuki,

You committed a terrible blunder. Let this be the last time you would do such a silly thing. YOU WERE NOT HEART BROKEN. To the contrary, you were honoured. For all I know, you could have been subjected to public ridicule or humiliation of the highest order had the lady turned out to be a ruthless type.
Secondly, anything could have happened to you on the road and nobody, not even the lady would know what was wrong.

Once again, I congratulates you for being rejected. You should rather throw party and celebrate your rejection than contemplate stupid suicide. If you must commit suicide, Join Hamas. It is more honourable.

Lesson 1.
Never pay a stupid surprise visit to a lady that is playing hard to get. If you must "visit", make it a "chance occurence". You could tell her you come to see a friend in the town and feel you say "hello" to her. That is saver than telling her you came all the way from God knows where only to "toast" her like toast-bread while she is supposed to be in lecture room.

Lesson 2.
Always have a fair idea how your host would treat you. Don't expect anything possitive for a potentially hostile host. You are walking to her den, expect rejection and be prepare for it while working toward your success.

Lesson 3.
Never show desperation when approaching a lady. No matter how much you want her, don't turn her to your god. Treat her well, but don't demean yourself for love sake.

When she asked you "why are you here?" it wasn't what you said that made her said you are not serious. It was how you said it. You are probably shaking from head to toe. And I could see her scan you with amusement written on her face. She took a quick look at you and your attitude and concluded you don't worth her time.

You messed up a golden opportunity to make a good impression.

She was kind to you only for you to act "Mr Bean" stuffs. That she came out to see you in the first place meant she was curious to know something about you. She honoured you.

Almondjoy,
see? My mirror was never wrong! Not even iice can have impact.

Now that you have seen Mukina2, you would soon hear that frozen words from iice.

@mukina,
which team did you support? I hope not the fumbling Eagle. I didn't bother to watch nation cup matches. I reads them after the match. My heart is fragile, I can't suffer for a useless team.

By the way, I can get to pluto within a second if you can assure me you would be there with iice. All I have to do is take a valium or any sleeping pill and connect to dreamland.

Thank God, the grand chilly are fine. Tell her to name one after me o.

Almondjoy,
my mirror is still shinning. You can see that iice is no where around it.

She is coming soon. By the way, did you checked your YIM lately? I send you an offline. You would find me there. At least you would always have time to keep awake for 48 hour aday.

You are right. They got sick of the land. It happen to everyone that have sense here. I would have gone too.

After the break, there was mass purges. People were asked to nominate those members that should be sent on compulsory leave and threads that should be deleted. I guess, that stupid act affected iice. She expressed surprised at the cavaliar manner one of her threads were sent to recycle bin. She posted a little after that but not as before. I think that action may have contributed to her desire to spend her winter in Russia instead of Nairaland.

She would return, the temperature here would melt her. That is why she hibernate at a place that would preserve her cool nature.

Amuki?

What is the problem now? You wanted a lady badly, you went there to meet her and she turned you down. Sure, you have the right to feel bad. You okay if you felt like taking the next trip to the world beyond. It is normal to feel that way. I congratulate you for passing through that stage. You are growing up.

But we human must never act everything that come to our mind during crisis period. We must behave like humans and not animals.

So far, you didn't kill yourself. You have the opportunity to make amend and learn from your mistakes.

One, did she invited you before you went there? Or you simply made a surprise visit?
Two, when you first saw her that day, what was the first word that came out of your mouth? (FYI, the first word you utter and your body language can influence her attitude toward you)
Three, what impression do you have of her before and after your visit?

You can't tell us that she invited you only for her to act as if you never existed. Something must be wrong.

Whatever the case is, I can assure you that if you don't obey the spirit of suicide, you have alot to gain from that experience than you think.

While waiting for your sincere reply, I congratulate you, once again, for being rejected. It is well.

Amuki?

What is the problem now? You wanted a lady badly, you went there to meet her and she turned you down. Sure, you have the right to feel bad. You okay if you felt like taking the next trip to the world beyond. It is normal to feel that way. I congratulate you for passing through that stage. You are growing up.

But we human must never act everything that come to our mind during crisis period. We must behave like humans and not animals.

So far, you didn't kill yourself. You have the opportunity to make amend and learn from your mistakes.

One, did she invited you before you went there? Or you simply made a surprise visit?
Two, when you first saw her that day, what was the first word that came out of your mouth? (FYI, the first word you utter and your body language can influence her attitude toward you)
Three, what impression do you have of her before and after your visit?

You can't tell us that she invited you only for her to act as if you never existed. Something must be wrong.

Whatever the case is, I can assure you that if you don't obey the spirit of suicide, you have alot to gain from that experience than you think.

While waiting for your sincere reply, I congratulate you, once again, for being rejected. It is well.

Iice ke?

She is in Russia to savour the below zero temperature. That is her natural habitat. I guess seun sent her on compulsory holiday.

As for mukina2,
i would consult the oracle to find out what is up.

Hmmm

I thought you know better. Almondjoy is a fine chic with 21st century head.

She used to be bad until "Bad" got tired of her. Now, we don't know what next after all this is 2008. I am sure she had a new year resolution. Possibly, to be good while pronouncing bad.