₦airaland Forum

Nazzyon,

there is such a body. But it is not a club. They are presently working on going public and it was an initiative of Nigerian Society of Engineers. Meanwhile you can attend the NSE programme and join the chapter that suit your field.

If you need further info on that you can email me at oracle_nj@yahoo.com

Alimondjoy,
I did not missed the point by thinkerberry, I just read deeper into it. It is an open secret that most Lecturers discourage their students from aiming high in their career. Their method of teaching, their way of giving assignments and expecting mass failure, and their attitude to failing students show they don't care. They only care about their salaries. Imagine as she said, a lecturer making such a comment about his student? I have heard a lecturer saying that his student will not pass an exam! That is their mentality and no one need such a person as mentor no matter how intelligent he maybe. Yet, we have exeption ones among them. A mentor would be transmiting not just his knowledge to his protege but his personality. Therefore in choosing a mentor, we must realize that we are equally exposing ourself to his personality.

From my experience; I once had a Guardian who is now late. I lived with him for four years to learn what made him thick. He was successful but he had a weakness- he is a hot tempered man. Sure, I succeeded in learning what I went for but, I had to spend the next two years to extirpate that unwanted emotion I picked from him. I guess, I got too personal with him.

Yes, the facility and provision for the attainment of that goal is not in existence, but it has to be done. I would discuss it with Aisha2 and hope you would lend support.

Something bother me about this Nigerian factor. You go to a man to mentor you, then you outilines your goals and plan. Somehow, he started poaching on your idea to his own benefit! This has happened to someone I know and it was very sad experience for him. That is why some guys are reluctant at opening up to a stranger.

Nevertheless we have to do it. We have to find a way.

THE MEN WHO BUILD THE FUTURE ARE THOSE WHO KNOW THAT GREATER THINGS ARE YET TO COME AND THAT THEY THEMSELVES CAN HELP BRING IT ABOUT. THEIR MINDS ARE ILLUMINED BY THE BLAZING SUN OF HOPE, THAT THEY HAVE NO TIME TO DOUBT.

Life is not passing you by, you are the one passing life by!

If the girls you are meeting see you as play boy, that is their problem. If you are worth your look, then the right one will come when you are ready.

It is obvious they are not rejecting you due to your look or player like posture. They have made another observation that you probably don't consider as important. Even from the little you wrote, I could pick out 3 reasons why they are reluctant to date you.

In a land where thousands of ladies are quietly dying of loneliness, isn't it strange that a supposed mr perfect is singing rejection? Any rational mind know something is wrong. Check yourself.

Life is not passing you by, you are the one passing life by!

If the girls you are meeting see you as play boy, that is their problem. If you are worth your look, then the right one will come when you are ready.

It is obvious they are not rejecting you due to your look or player like posture. They have made another observation that you probably don't consider as important. Even from the little you wrote, I could pick out 3 reasons why they are reluctant to date you.

In a land where thousands of ladies are quietly dying of loneliness, isn't it strange that a supposed mr perfect is singing rejection? Any rational mind know something is wrong. Check yourself.

Ifyalways,
I am surprised at your response. It was like you are look at the negative. I hope I am right. If you follow the thread very well, you would have noticed that we are sharing experience and trying to educate one another by learning from that experiences.

No where have I made attempt to portrait you in bad light. I honestly see nothing to be sorry for. I see nothing wrong it asking you. Thanks.

what do want from the mentor? and Who is he/she? If you need experince on how to get him, just tell us, perhaps someone can give you a tip.

Niceuzor,

Can you tell us what you have lean from the king of the land? let share your experience.

Yeah Uche. What about you, can we share your experience? You need not mention name if you feel so but be practical.

War! War! War!

Let see where it leads. I don't imagine Yar'adua going to war with Cameroun, but if it happen, we would have our hand full. Nigeria cannot win that war.

Sure, we may defeat cameroun. The Niger Delta Militant are waiting for their break just as the Biafrans are waiting to capitalize on the crisis to arm themselves. Once Nigerian Army are through with Cameroun they would then have to face a reinvigorated Niger Delta Militants and MASOB.

War is a serious blunder.

Diplomacy is the best option.

Aisha2,
the email is oracle_nj@yahoo.com

i did not get the first mail. Kindly resend.

Aisha2
I will check it right away.

Alimondjoy,
so back to your question. My springfield mentor was advising me on a Technology related programme, which I can't specify here but you'll get it on you YM. I have a long term goals that are broken into stages.

Unfortunately, alot of "debris" need to be cleared. No thank to Nigerian factor. We are taking slow but firm steps as I give her honest report from time to time.

She recently sent me some books to prepare me for the task ahead. I am still digesting them. Right now, I have broken down the process and the stage one is seriously under construction.

As for the other one the "adopted parent". I am interested in developing a stronger family value. I consider myself to be seriously in need of family ethics. Therefore I choose her! I have gained tremendously from this woman more than I ever learn from my biological parents! She is a great mother whose words of wisdom would ever remain in my mind. To make it more interesting, her children are known to me.

Hear her:

"GOD MEASURES THE PERSON WITH THE BURDEN HE PUT ON HIM. SO WHEN YOU FEEL YOUR LOAD IS HEAVIER THAN THE REST BE HAPPY FOR GOD SEES YOU STRONGER THAN THE REST!"

That was what she told me when I was in great pain over something. I follow through her lead and motherly advice and today, when I look back, I wonder how wonderful it is to have gone through it. I am wiser and stronger but still yearn for more.

As you are aware, family goal is forever! But you take a step at a time. Right now I know how to live if I won't marry. I know what to do if I end in marriage. I know what to do if I end in polygamy, though I don't want it. Whatever, however, we have to learn the golden rule of happiness and then practice it.

?

Maybe seun should open crime diary for people like ymx to complain.

Somze,
so what do you say of the distiction between greatness and success. Do you mind completing it?

By the way, have you any mentor before now?

Why not from Ogun? Could you educate us?

Yimiton, how are you? Sorry I didn't call. Could you take a tour at the career section? You'll know when you get there.

I missed you sha!

And if you are online, Aisha2, send me an YIM i would chat you later.

Almondjoy, hope you don't forget the Yahoo? We'll pick it up no matter how slow.

Aisha2,
I was planning similar project. Can we work together? In fact, I'd written to one of my mentors to advise. You can email me and let make it a big project. We'll share idea. I hope we could.

Alimondjoy,
Actually the boy have problem. I mean the JAMBite. He would never listen to suggestion about trade. Beside, I am yet to find a serious trade school in present day Nigeria that could be recommended. It is a shame that Nigeria focus more on University while other sectors are left to their fate. How sad for a nation desiring progress! Little wonder why hen, goats, and chicken are scrambling for university admision.

Indeed he was a brilliant chap. But he kept choosing competitive courses. Petroleum Engineering this year, Medicine next year. That was when I discovered him. I asked him why the choice of those courses and his reply was "there is money there"! Can you imagine?!

I pity him so I decided to guide him. I gave him assignment meant to help him discover what he "love" and not what he "want". I made him understand that success is not measure by money. I discovered he is sharp in commerce! He can succeed in it. But he went for Engineering!

And guess what? When the JAMB form came out again, he follow his friends' advice and choose a school I had asked him to avoid. I did so because the school always have high number of applicants. Frustrated, he started talking of "traveling out". He spurned the idea of going to vocational school etc. I immediately decided to place a "stop loss order" on him. Thanks to Dale Carngie.

Stop loss order, is a very effective way of halting a potentially useless undertaking. You are doing something, then you discover that you are getting negative results instead of the positive. What you would do is to place your order. Tell yourself you don't want to tolerate any lose beyond a certain limit.If the loss reach that level, then no deal.If it continues without any change after that allowable limit you placed, then "abort" before you are corrupted.That is my principle and it works for me.

So you have weakness for opposite sex, alimondjoy? Hahaha, let me apply too! I am a monk so you don't have to "fear the fear".

Seriously,

@poster, pls tell the mystery lady to come to nairaland.

Face saving gesture? I don't believe you. We are no mugu.

1. Is The person that use your username living with you? How on earth did she get your ID and password? If you have not been giving her your yahoo mail password, then it is foolish of you to donate your nairaland password.
2. Did she have any number of her own? Why would she use your phone number to advertize for a husband on nl? Something fishy.
3. If you are not interested in bobo anymore all you have to do is says. The suitors would stop calling you.

There is nothing wrong in the infomation. What happened was that you posted something and the result overwhelmed you.

Is it really possible for some guys to abandon a lovely wife and their kid for whatever reason? Maybe, I am weird. But I can't ever think of a lady that give me a baby.

@poster
point of correction, being single is hell not heaven especially when you are of age.

Yimiton, alimondjoy,

it is no news that some women are violent. I have seen a lady that beats her husband regularly! My own very neighbour! We used to live together but I had to leave the place. It is demeaning to man pride. Outside, they behave normally but once inside, the wife is the boss. The husband fetches water, cook sometimes if the wife insist! And they have two boys. During my stay I almost had a fight with the wife to teach her a lesson when she cross my path. I told her she would ends in mortuary! We were seperated though but the threat obviously worked as she never cross my path again till I left the place. I hate men beating their wife. But a woman beating her husband make me vomit. I can't stand it.

So, some women can actually be violence. You can't always win a battle with an enraged woman. She would always go for you jogular. "kill me! You must kill! If you don't kill me you won't go!"

such a scenerio did not require violent solution. You need wisdom.

@poster,
I can't help but laugh at that your friend. First, what type of woman would beat her husband to pulp just because of dashing his mistress a meagre #2,000? There must be more to it. Perhaps your friend had been doing it for long, which is in itself provocative. What is he doing with a mistress in the first place and how on earth was he get carried away by love to marry a merciless boxer?

He know what to do. Nothing we say here matter. He is the one wearing the shoe and he know where it pinches. If the wife had been using him as training material for her next bout with Laila Ali, then, he has the right to file for divorce. Going to court would merely drain his purse and turn him into a laughing stock. This is Nigeria, a man that cry in public of being beaten by his wife would not only lose the wife but also his selfrespect.

Alimondjoy,

I quite understand difference between mentoring and sponsorship. There is another element you didn't mentioned. Favouritism! That is Nigerian version of mentoring. When a young jobless graduate approaches a wealthy man for mentoring, his primary instinct is to get job through his mentor's "connection" if not through him. Before you know it, he would submit his cv and then start making material demands. This practice had been with us for ages. My study show that it is a corrupted version of mentoring. Another version is "godfatherism". This is also very common. In fact, young men would rather get close to a "bigman" not to learn anything but to earn his trust "so that when the 'big break' they are looking for appear", they would have the blessing of their godfather!

It is this kind of intellectual corruption that had transformed Nigeria into a crawling giant. A Nation where wealth flow like water, yet poverty ravages the land. Corruption in Nigeria is not limited to finance. We have spiritual corruption. (you can see how many modern day "jesus and muhamed" are sprouting from every local govt daily yet, our streets and hospitals show how successful these miraclemen are), we also have mental corruption as manifested in our reasonings and lack of national ideology. Intellectual corruption had been mentioned already. And today, our universities ranked among the best in the world and our professors are winning Nobel prizes in Science.

Regardless of what is happening, we must never do nothing just because the situation is so bad.

Yes, I am going to mentor others just as I keep learning from my mentors. In fact I have been doing just that to those below me. Unfortunately, I am mentoring frustrated people! For instance, a young boy who had been writing JAMB in the last 5 years. All he wanted is jamb and no more! I am happy though as it give you more hindsight about the problems.

On what I seek from my mentor, I would reply later as the thread progresses.

Doyin13,
I have searched for you but, I am happy I found you here. So do you have mentor? Whatever for? Please let share. And what happened to Kobe? Banned or Reformed?

Bolaoni,
since you are in Nigeria, you may link up with me. I don't post number on public forum my email is open. Any unwanted spammer can easily be blocked. So get it on my profile.

Somze,
No country is brought up to have mentors. It is a choice and products of their determination to be counted among the great. If Nigerian Leaders are content to glorify mediocrity, then, nature can't be blamed. We must be prepare to make a difference if we are not satisfy with the system. Lucky for you, you have the ingredients needed to make it. All you need to do is to work it out. Nobody was brought up to do anything he does not know. . . We all learn it at a stage in our life.

People working for money rather than passion are making the matter worse. A survey of nairaland jobseekers shows that nearly 80% of them would look for bank job first before anything! Are Nigerian banks productive? What special job does a Banker Cashier render that make them earn such a large salary? Yet, a reporter walking length and breath of the world for news would earn peanut. Teachers, and lecturers has to embark on strike before they get their little raise.

What has this to do with mentoring? Alot! A well informed graduate with a good mentor would know that he need not join a company for money but for the satisfaction he craves. He would know how to work in a "little" company and still become rich. Is it a concidence that Bankers are not the richest people in Nigeria in spite of their paychecks? Only their CEOs, all of whom actually have investment porfolio, (more likely financed by other people's money) features on Rich list. At least for a while.

We need to open our eyes and be prepare to make a difference.

Mentoring is one way of achieving that. You will have access to knowledge you are not borm with.

Good choice.

What? Mukina2! The guy was telling the truth.

It is not only guy that do it. Ladies are more active in this game.

That said, from my own experience, that is if the guy is an honest type, certain issues must have been considered before any sane man decide to back out of a rosy relationship. That other person can be the world to you, but if there is an element in the relationship that is sure to block your long term happiness, then love had to be quenched by all mean!

The poster must first look for any of such sign before embarking on fence mending. It is the way you handle your finding that would decide the outcome.

If the guy/gal is honest, then it would not take you long to know his game. But if the guy is a player, and had recently find a new lady, he would first take you on a trip to eldorado before you know his motive. If you are smart, you would read from his body language.

When a guy say, he is not interested in relationship, may or may not be persuaded to change his mind. It is all about knowing his real motive.

What about me? Did you missed me or discovered me, Ufo?

Greatness is not a special food for special people. Everybody is great in his own right. As for me, I am still learning. My email and YIM is on my profile. You are free to chat me. But let keep this going.

What are the challenges expected in mentoring? How do you select your mentors? And what next do yo do after getting his consent?

Chai, somze, you are really choosy! How on earth can you manage such combination? You must be a superman!

You practically stole all the ladies on the land. Thank God, you won't get it all.