₦airaland Forum

True love, is Trust itself. No trust, no love. Trust give relationship it meaning. When there is no trust, you are just wasting your time.

I just hope the guy is not reading this thread only to act faster by hurting her more or by preparing himself against the so called attacks. Werepe has antidote, just as police would eventually release him even if he serve jail term. Do you think these cure madness of a man with such bitterness?

A madman don't just go out of his way to attack passers by, something must have stir his madness. Are you that something? Did you owe him something?

For God sake, you have been dating him for almost a year and sleeping with him. Don't tell us he had always been mad all through that time. If the guy is an area boy, God help you.

The solution you seek is not far from you.

Guys this is a comedy of absurd. But in my own way, I won't pass judgement without facts.

Worry lady, could you be sincere to tell us what happen and why you called it quit with him.

How did you get yourself with a violence man and when did he transformed into beast? Before or after break up with you?

Was there a covanant between you two, written or verbal ? How old is he? I could guess your age anyway, dont't bother to tell your age.

I will also want you to let us know if you have been taking his gifts, if you cheated on him etc. There no smoke without fire. A man don't just wake up one day and turn himself into nuissance because of a jambite, there must be more to it. Sure, he may be at fault. But no one can do you harm without your input.

Please give us more information if you are truthful.

If you ever try to bath him with acid, you are in soup! The law won't spare you!

First, it is not abnormal. God Himself envisaged things like this when He mandated the believers to pay tilth, Zakat, charity, or be your brother's keeper whatever you called it. So every normal humans must expect it. The more people that come to your doorstep, the more your blessings. Givers never lack, but DON'T BE A FOOLISH GIVER.

World over, Industrialized nations faced similar problems at home and abroad. From individual to NGOs and the Nation's like Nigeria among others.

Talking from individual point of view, it is expected that in a nation where 7 out of ten live below poverty level, some hungry people would always show up with one form of demand or the others. You can't be successful without their patronage. The trouble is some people had made it a vocation to ask for favours from people. One had to devise means of giving only those who merrit it. Don't make promise and don't give them impression that you are too rich to go hungry. Avoid giving in public glare. You are soliciting for more prospective candidates.

When you must say NO, do it with empathty.

If however you want to avoid people demanding from you, the best way out IS NOT TO SUCCEED AT ALL. Even a miser would receives one form of demand or the others. It is how you handle those demand that determines if you would be villify or not.

There is no hidden place for goldfish. If you don't want to be seen, don't fly. Crowl and live beneath the earth.

If it is true, churches and mosques will make fortune from it. I just hope people are enlightened before that.

Is anyone here know more about the phenomenon?

Next what?

It may be a cock and bull story to you. Try and believe for once that it had happened, is happening and may happen again, and again until somebody learn from others. The story I presented above is real. I know because, I am close to the fellow. He may not be a member of Nairaland, he is certainly reading this with me and laughed at your unbelief. See?

It may be a cock and bull story to you. Try and believe for once that it had happened, is happening and may happen again, and again until somebody learn from others. The story I presented above is real. I know because, I am close to the fellow. He may not be a member of Nairaland, he is certainly reading this with me and laughed at your unbelief. See?

It may be a cock and bull story to you. Try and believe for once that it had happened, is happening and may happen again, and again until somebody learn from others. The story I presented above is real. I know because, I am close to the fellow. He may not be a member of Nairaland, he is certainly reading this with me and laughed at your unbelief. See?

I praise the lord. Naturally every man feel on high. What goes through my mind are many. WILL SHE REMAIN THE SAME AFTER, MARRIAGE? WILL TO LOVE CONTINUE TO WAX STRONGER?

The other side of me however, wouldn't go to sleep. I would equally plan in my mind what i would do if she disappoint me. It is not that I am expecting disappointment, I just must have my insurance policy.

Aik.mamah,
sincerely, I know a guy in real life who had had similar experience as yours. His case was compounded by the fact that he kept quiet. He was hurt, humiliated and badmouthed by the lady's friends. Incedentally, those friends were the one that started the stupid rumour which lead to the breakup. The guy, unlike you however wanted to forgive and win back the lady. This gesture took him through path that lead to his losing his job.

Like in your case, he opted to stay off deep intimacy and in the process, the daughter of eve begin a new attack, heartless, idiots, impotent, etc! They even tempted him with anything. Unlike your case, one stupid virgin suceeded in getting to his bed and after months of seduction, she LOST HER PRECIOUS POT. That began another trouble for him. The lady insisted he must marry him. He was adamant. placing the blame on her raging cunt. He insisted he signed no such agreement verbally or otherwise.

The girl came with another game plan. TO GET PREGNANT! The man had to give her the boot when it became obvious trouble looms. Naturally he was branded HEARTLESS! I wonder why. Yet ladies keep troubling him!

He solve the problem at least temporarily by getting a steady companion he trusted. So when daughter of Eve come calling, he made a show of his new heartthrob. Today, he is talking seriously about marriage with the lady. It wasn't a smooth journey, but it brought him a peace of mind.

My advice is simple, FIND SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST AND STICK TO HER AS FRIEND. Some ladies like that type of relationship. Ladies don't like rival. Once they see you are with another lady, they would make a retreat, at least temporarily. And you can find sometime to profer permanent solution.

Women who think it is a mistake to tell the truth are merely posponing the evil day. What happen when the man got the facts later and walk out of the relationship? Men are no fool. They should know that men's mind are complex. They need to realize every man had a unique way of thinking. Some men appreciate the truth, others would never show their mind.

Telling a man about your past or otherwise is subject to the man's peculiar nature. Know him before you lie to him.

Aik.mamah, it is indeed possible to find real love on internet. I have subjected this to practical experience and I can say from my find there is 2 out 10 chance of developing lasting real life relationship on internet. It is in line with the reality. The trouble with most people is that they let their negative mindset and internal insecurity get the better of them. Most of them, expecially those who failed does so due to their ignorance of the reality.

So what is happening may become real only after the two had established long term communication. It is dangerous to fall in love within days of meeting someone on internet. It is a gamble.

My suggestion is that you get to know one another to satisfactory level before you plunge into intimacy.

In what form?

Can HND holder actually have direct Masters degree in UK? How about it?

How come there are so many stupid men around you?

Are you sure? It is really cool. I just hope some people out there won't give it spiritual interpretation.

We seem to forget there is a difference between falling in love with someone and loving someone. Most people could hardly differentiate and that is dangerous. This is because a time would come, when you would discover that you are actually not in love with someone you have been going out with after 3 years.

Secondly, some guys expecially those who are loaded may discover, often too late, that the particular lady is in love with their pocket or their JT. That is why some guys play ladies like football.

Everyone had a yardstick to measure how to know if a lady is in love with him. To me, I will know if a lady is in love through her actions and inactions. My mentor once said

"WHEN A LADY IS IN LOVE, SHE LOSE HER HEAD,AND WHEN A GUY IS IN LOVE, HE LOSE HIS ******'

sorry ladies, we are discursing ladies not men.

So, a lady in love would do anything for her guy, reasonable and unreasonable. She would not necesarily cling to the guy. Her words, actions etc would give her away. Ladies in love, will overlook the guy's fault, or try to change him, but she won't leave the man even if her parents were to hang themselves!

There were others which had been mentioned earlier. However, I must admit Love can be faked. In that case, guys employ time know if it is real or fake.

Then take her to your church for conversion.

Aik.mamah, you get it. That should have been the motto. Just like liverpool: YOU WILL NEVER WALK ALONE!

People are sharing problems, getting jobs, securing education, brokenhearts are mended, no boring moment, etc just by coming to nairaland. Thanks for that. Thanks to Seun.


By the way where is the owner of this thread? I expect him to at least check this thread in a week time. If he is truly in need we shall see.

No need to wrry about any generation spill over. The first step toward solving any problem is to identify it. Now, you can follow up from there. all you need to do is try as much as possible not to personalize the issue. The issue between your day and mum is not your business. you must not try to blame your action on any any curse. Even though you may be under one. you cannot blame the rain for wetting your cloth when you could not use umbrella. keep praying. When you offend dad, try to be sober and prompty appologize to him. as long as he doennt curse you, you arefree. Also go to you granny and warm your way to her heart. She would pray for you one day and that prayeritself would neutaralize whatever curse she put on your dad, that may spill over. You might be unwittingly using that curse as rewason for your own error. Don't be. I trust in The Lord to give you strenght and power to overcome any curse or whatever that is uopn you in His might name! He had never fail to deliver when asked for helps and he would never fail you at this time if you are sincere and truthful in your heart. Just abide in His ordinance and stay close to him. Your Dad may be innocent of the curse, so he may not deserve any of the teatment you melted out to him. Yes, he might be. Just don't meddle in it. the lord will help you.

if it is true that you are praying and try your best to free ourself, you would be free from it. trust in God and He would not leave you to suffer! Cheers

I am not a marriage counsellor. A psychologist? maybe! But I am honestly not a University graduate of psychology. It is self learning so I won't claim to be an expert. I look at the people and then, learn from them using the gift I had, I can't say more on the secret on this thread. All I can say is that I just have the ability to decipher something, from within.

As for those who think it is not worthy to know what marriage is about, little wonder they keep falling in love and fall out as fast as they fell in. Makes mistakes, trail and error kind of. In the end, they started regretting ever taking that path.

marriage is so important that like it or not, you are going to be there someday.

I am not surprised at our youths. In the years gone past, our forefathers marry early and learn what ever they want to lean from their parents. and they live happily to reap the fruit of their labour. see their ground children and so forth. it is not common to hearthem talk about broken heart and all kind of nonesense that we read everyday. What we have is a man of 35 year old single and still searching! or a woman of 40 still searching. at times, they got married only to be booted out of their matrimony with nothing to show for it. they would later comeout to lambasted their opposite sex and blame one another for their own ignorance.

A young man would have sampled about ten ladies before marriage. so that by the time he marry a "virgin" he would have ween all kind of breasts and cunt sizes. as for ladies, some of them would have become a public properties that could not even tell their children a simple moral story. they are corrupted. imagine looking at your wife and you started seeing all the pictures of men she had slept with before you! how i wish God should have given us the power to see the past! many ladies now nowaday would simply die without husband!

My sympathy goes to men and women who are looking for wife at the age of 35 upward. some even have to fake their ages to get someone they like! i had seen a lady that had to settle for a man she once derided when she found no suitor to take her. she is approaching 32 and the man is still free. Nothing near her liking But she don.t want to be left behind.

what is more? after all these delay, most of those who marry late at 40 upward may have to be nursing a child while they are60! at that point in time, their comtemporaries would be doingtheir children wedding.many may not even be able to see the child to maturity.

we need to reflect deeply on thisand stop all the nonsense about love being blind and junkies about romance that lead nowhere. we must realize that time Wait for on. take it or leave it, if you are so sure you can live till 90 year of age, Marry at 40!

well, I am not saying masturbation is evil. But, have you ever check their believe about it? Go ahead and find out what most of these people think about it. in fact, let any student claim that he masturbates and you would see that he is going on suspension. believe m,e, that is what they think. I had engaged someone from that school on this topic. Let them subject it to debate and you will see the wisdom behind it.

They are the one that hate everything sexuals regardless of the source.

can we know more about her?

Rhinno, you have got a wonderful advice! As if you read mind. That is in my view the best way nairalanders interested in helping him should do. If he is real, he won't have any problem with that. Then, the kind hearted men and women can then arrange how to get the fund for him. Maybe seun could help in leading the cause. If we discover him to be a yahoo style, we would disgrace him and remove him permanently from nairaland.the donated money would then be refunded to the donors. It is simple. If the albinos in europe had been doing this, maybe yahoo boys would be incuring loss in their business.

Again Rhinno, may your head never lack ideas. God bless.

Anything is possible. You must be careful to land on a mattress so that you won't have to break your bone. At any rate, we have doctor love in the house who can help u mend ur broken heart.

That is what you get when you try to wipe everyone in line of your own ideology. Unfortunately they may never catch anyone. And this evil is even worst than sexual immorality. No amount of threat can deter them as long as they are not caught.

There is even another, natural possibility- MASTURBATION. The man of God had better wake up to realize that when you try to resist human movement and will power, the devil get stronger.

He want to achieved what jesus with his divine presence didn't achieve. Whta Muhamed with his divine Army couldn't achieved, What Moses with his fiery musaic Laws failed to realize. Bishop must not destroy the good things he had done in a bid to realize a dream,which may not survive him.

Our obsession with first class graduate is one the reasons why students make every crooked mean to cheat. The truly inteligent students find no motivation to excel. Everyone just 'study to pass exam and make first class' their target is bank jobs, oil and gas. Very few of them if any want to be retained in the university.

The few that had the ability and capacity to excel are mostly cheated by the system. We need a rethink. Obj had ruled this country more than any other man, regardless of what we think, he is not even a graduate talkless of being first class. Most of the outstanding scientists world over, are not first class graduates. The system that produced the like of Edison, Einstein etc does not placed undue emphasis on first or second class.

Nigeria may never truly developed into industrialized nation until we stop looking at the paper but rather focus on the ability of our youths to rise up against odds and exceel

What about gmail? Can it contain the book?

Charity begins from home. The problem youths have in relationship would have a root from their background, peers and the society as a whole.

Thanks for the advice. Just know that I am well equipped for such matter. In fact, I know a lot about people sleazing others. However, I had learn from experience that Nigerians are the major casuality of their own invention. That is why we are backward. There is no doubt that in making general conclusion, we exposes the needy to negligence. There are ways of identifying fake from real needy, we can help the outside world have positive impression of us. If we Nigerians do not have mechanism in place to check the rascals among us, the outside would (and had already) cast aspersion on the whole populace. They would reject your business proposals, subject you to humiliating experience, and would not help the needy among you since they don't know how to identify those with clean hands.

Rather, than condemn everyone who come to us for help, we should encourage them to work out solution to their problems. If they are real, they would try it. And they would eventually find someone who would lift them up to higher glory.

Every rich man, you see that claim he is self made is a liar. Check it out. Nobody had ever truly suceeded in a honest undertaking with the help and support from another person. Please prove me wrong.

It is for this reason I don't jump into conclusion when someone cry to me in need. If I won't help him, I would not discourage him either.

Yoruba adage said 'TI A BA NI KADIJU KI ENI BURUKU KOJA, ENI RERE NAA A KOJA' If we decide to shut our eyes against evil men, we would miss the good one.

My advice is he should keep praying. If he is real God will bring helper to his way.

Omoge, Taken from my personal perspective, Yes. But when view from larger corrupted society I will say the blame is evenly distributed. We must understand that first and foremost, for reason best known to the society, they collectively made man polygamous. As such they had given him licence to cheat. When the time come for him to test his wife conviction about polygamy, man would never tell the poor woman. Unless the man is as careless as his JT,he wont tell the wife until he had found a partner. Even then, responsible men would rather do it with diplomacy. This must never be interpreted as cheating. It is an art created by the system. The way the man handle the drama would give him away.

Why I said the wife may be the cause is for the following reasons among otherr:
1, if the woman take her domestic role for granted and become negligent at home, she is giving her man licence to seek peace outside.

2, a woman must never discountenance polygamous nature of men regardless of their religion. Christains seen to flirt more than muslim for obvious reasons. The woman must not show any anxiety at all if your man is faithful during courtship as someone put it. She must rather spend her energy on cristallizing the love they had created. It must be mutually inclusive.

Yet, I know something about 'players' they may never stop playing unless they suffer injury.