₦airaland Forum

ggood:
Good evening please help me , I met a lady three weeks ago and we started dating , everything was going well , few days ago she told me that where she stay her room mate want to leave the town , and she does not have money to pay for her rent that she want to stay with me. I stay alone in very nice apartment my house have everything inside including running water, steady light, shower etc. She has been begging me to allow her stay for the main time and I don't know what to do. I Barely know her, she said she want to pack her bag and come and drop in my house, and am new in that town. My fear is that she will block me from having other ladies and exploring other girls and she will be feeding in my house because she is not working at the moment she a graduate waiting for her NYSC according to her.

Please help me out what should I do

Tell her to pack to her father's house ni.

Ariza:
I will!

I dare you to upload a picture of your D.

My pinky is small.

Who's gonna dare me?

Dare!

CeterisXVII:
Do what...without which dirty approval? Something they have been talking about for 3 years? Ok, while she was still waiting for the man's so called approval, so where should she have left her son? On the streets?

She was suggested to put the boy in a boarding school pending the time the reach an agreement. Even the boy would have started visiting during the holidays and then boom, he stays over. But no she choose to play the boss. And how much are you being paid defending her?

Winneygirl:
In other words, Prostitution.
This is why the internet is no place to seek advise. If you don't look well they will lead you into the lagoon, like this OP was led astray.
I rest my case!!

That is no prostitution. That is using the feminine power.

CAPSLOCKED:
Let me tell you a secret, this woman is an error. forget plenty talk.

Lol

Winneygirl:
So, now that they are single mums, now that they already have the children, what is expected of them?

Two options:

1. Train the kids all by themselves by working 9 to 5 and earning cash.

2. Look for a simp who has a lot of cash and is sex starved and get hooked to him so he can get an lift the burden by providing for you and the kids.


I'd advice them to go for the latter if they can bring out their feminine side. Be that damsel in distress and your prince charming will come running to save you!

proclinician:
Who challenges a dead man for pushup competition?

A mad one perhaps.

Winneygirl:
So the criterion for "bowing their heads in shame" is no longer having children out of wedlock, but difficulty in getting married?

Both man and woman are jointly responsible for any child they create.
The child does not belong to the woman more that it belongs to the Man.
We as a society should not shame people for having kids and choosing to raise them.
We as a society should hold men responsible, and not encourage men to walk out on their kids.
If there's any shame, it should be channeled to the man who abandons a child he has, not to the mother who steps up and raises the child.
I don't see why you argue that single mothers should walk in shame while the Fathers who walked away from their responsibilities should hold their heads high.

I did not absorb any man who walks out on their children of shame. They're worse than infidel. But I wanna ask, those women who get turned to single mom, is it that they didn't have better option to choose from? Or is it after making choices based on emotions, and it bounces back on them, they will want the whole world to pity them?

90% of all single moms had an opportunity to date a nice guy who will be there for them, who will make their(SM) happiness theirs(nice guys).

LadySarah:
This boy stole foodoo, not money not a break in just to quench Hunger.If there was food he wouldn't dare it.
90 percent of children do not have good experiences living in relatives homes, how much more a mum alive, capable n willing leaving her Child going through hell.

My mum brought my 12 cousin to live with me. After my aunts(mums youn ger sis) death, he was been maltreated right under his father's nose by his relatives. I fact the day my mum met him he was hawking unripe baby plantains and out of school. She flung them away and brought him to my house.

In 4 yr of his mums death his ordeal was heartwrenching.
It took only but love to bring him back. Since 2016 April till when he left my home he doesn't joke with me.

My husband had the same reservations cos of his exposure to the streets but love weaned him from evil.
He is 16 yrs old now and very well behaved even though he isn't with me anymore .
He visits once school closes.

The scars all over his body from constant maltreatment is a a sordid reminder...

Don't wish that on a child.
I'm speaking from the place of a mother and that is what I believe the Op is trying to do.

I know what it's like being maltreated even when your mom is alive. I am not condemning her act of trying to save the boy child. Hell that boy's life worth the save. But what really pissed me off was the way she went about the whole thing. How can you confidently say your child from another man is worth more than your marriage to another on a forum you are aware of your husband presence and not expect what befell her to befall you?! Does that speak of intelligence? Who knows maybe she must have said to her husband's face. There are ways she could have gotten her husband to bring the son in. What is her feminine nature doing? This is time for her embrace her feminine nature and manipulate her husband but no she wanna show the man who's the boss of the house.

Winneygirl:
Should the men who had children out of wedlock bow their heads in shame too?
I just want to know how this works

Does the men who get children out of wedlock find it difficult to get married too?

I just wanna know how this works.

CAPSLOCKED:
I DON'T KNOW WHY MADAM 70% IS EVEN LOOKING FOR MARRIAGE. FOR HER TO NEGOTIATE WITH A HUSBAND WAS SO HARD, BUT GOING NAKED NOW AND SWEARING FOR HIM IS ABC. THIS IS HOW TO RECOGNIZE EVIL PEOPLE, AND FROM THE FIRST DAY SHE DROPPED HER COMPLAINTS WITH "STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN, I DO THIS, I HAVE MONEY, THIS, THOSE" I KNEW THAT MAN WAS IN CHAOS.
TO EVEN TELL THE MAN THAT HER CHILD IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEIR MARRIAGE IS ENOUGH FOR HIM TO PACK AND GO. BUT NO. HE'LL EVEN BEG TO STAY. I JUST TIRE.
LIKE I ONCE SAID. GETTING MARRIED TO AN SM IS AN EASY TASK. BUT HOW DOES SHE BEHAVE?
I NO FIT BEAR THIS KIND DRAMA. MINOR ISSUES SHE DON BEGIN POST HER CHILD FOR STATUS "MY WORLD". "MY ALL". "THE ONLY MAN IN MY LIFE". SHE'S FLAUNTING HER "ASSETS" WHILE YOU'RE BY THE CORNER FINDING A WAY TO MAKE PEACE.

At least you understand. It's not easy to have an SM as a wife, because you will always be THAT GUY at the corner. The THIRD WHEEL!

ambient:
In your write up you said single mother have no right to talk,can you explain that sentence?

Those who had children out of wedlock should not talk but bow their heads in shame.

But hell! Today's men wanna give them crown!

CeterisXVII:
See this irrational cretin! What manner of useless advice is this one?!

Did anyone hold a gun to the head of the man to marry a single mother with 2 kids? Didn't he see those kids there, living with her in her house, before agreeing to marry her?

Didn't he promise he had accepted them, BEFORE he even married her, set? Didn't he agree that both kids will love with them after marriage?

He could have gone ahead to marry a single girl without any kids, if he didn't want to be bothered by a single mother's children.

Or was he blind and couldn't see single girls without any kids, to marry? Tell us, o!

No one held a gun to his head! If you read well, you'd see where I wrote I blame the man for marrying a single mom. They had an agreement, it was broken by the man, not fair! But then should she because she's the financial pillar do things without the approval of her husband? Even tho her husband refused, she should have used the same manipulative skill she used on him to get married to him, why choose to be autocratic?

You make the bed, you lie on it.

klenton:
you would have also told us the identity and history of the other people used in the other memes, abi dem no dey exist

my friend just shut ur crap....those are just memes, its just for illustrations, and it doesnt take rocket science to understand that

the joke is actually on you.

he don't know wais goinon

husbandsnatcha:
1...Do they want God turning their stupidass to females or what ? Is just so weird ,and I have damnass questions for their absurdial selves...

2....Do they hate their gods giving them joysticks than vaginas or wat?

3... Carrying 100s toilet tissues about is that what they want?

4...thick dark blood gushing outta u every 14-20days is that what dey want?

5...Do they know giving birth is the most painful thing on Earth?

6...Drinking multiple n smelly antibiotics (Minimum of 20tablets) cos of non stop vaginal troubles , do you want that 4 ur childish ass?


7...if they want vaginas and boobs ,No problem ,I can grant them that ... But they shud know that:

8There are dicks tasting like knives in ur tongue , ....boobs gives pains 100 times more Dan it's pleasure ...


Know what u wish 4 ur childish ass!

SMH in disgust!

Numbered your question for ya baby. I'd go ahead and answer them, then I'd tell you the secret.

1. No we don't want our God to turn us into one.
2. No we do not hate our God.
3. We certainly do not want that either
4. Neither do we want this
5. Have you been hit in the balls before? I me an literally.
6. Nor do we want this.
7. You can?
8. I had no idea boobs gives pains more than the pleasure. But MissGhosted says otherwise. Last time I squeezed her boobs, she loved it!

Now we have female monikers because we can.

ableguy:
Women always claiming victim

Very appalling. Like would it kill to take responsibility for your shortcomings?

Men! Screw all of them! I'm pissed at this Vivian girl. And her fvcking story. If she was closer I'd have beat the hell outer her for even bringing it to the public. Stupid fella. She get luck Sha.

Vyvyanvyvy:
A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words

You are sick in the head! Your husband has as much right as you do to your kids I mean the ones he had with you. You are now playing victim at what you started.

Well I blame men who give single mothers a chance to talk like they had right. In a saner society, so long as you had children without a man to call yours, whether through divorce or baby mama shit unless death, you do not have right to speak in public. I hope your husband learns his lesson.

Men out there, we do not hate you when we tell you never to marry a single mom. Most of you out there who think it's okay to marry single mom just like me were raised by a single mom. And I will not because mom raised me alone with my dad alive and does not care about me marry a single mom. It just doesn't work. It is better to start with someone on same pace than with someone who's got a head start. It is always their kids before any new man. Hell it's always their kids before their biological father let alone a step dad. My mom never remarried do you know why? It's cause of us! She didn't want us to be with another man as a father! She wanted us to be for her, we were her closure.

To you Vivian, that prayer will backfire if your hands aren't clean, so you better stop it, swallow your pride and call your husband and stop victimizing your husband. He's done nothing wrong. Like you brought your kids into your home without his consent, he's taken his kids without yours. So in a subtle word, FVCK OFF!

iClef:
Okay.

I knew something was wrong somewhere.... Legend that's you.

Casalindal:
So I got this mail today and since the monika doesn’t not got the balls to share, she reached out to me to help out... if you got any useful advice you could drop them as she will be reading thank you

Hi casalinda, please help keep me anonymous for reason personal to me as got families here. So I got married to this lovely man from Ogun state at first it was beautiful and our union was peaceful until I got pregnant and it seem that was the beginning of my DOOM. 5month into my pregnancy I had contraction which was unusual and it eventually cause me losing my child, 3days after this my husband started misbehaving and blame the whole process on me and blame me for not saving our baby life it make it seem I was the one controlling the narrative. Things got bad that within a week my husband filed for a divorce which it was finally granted and I lost everything I mean totally everything. I don’t know what to make out of myself as I have resulted into hating men and especially Yoruba men I am losing my mind and I am confused. Please help me post this I dnt know where else to go or what else I should do

First I thought it was you and I was like TF! is you the only one in the world, broke up, signed a prenup.... Meh.

Back to the topic at hand. She just have to pick herself up and move on. And she should feel free to hate all men as much as she hates Yoruba men. We used to it.

MadeINchenzen2:
Of course most ladies are brave enough to take the bull by the horn and ask you straight @ your face "WILL YOU MARRY ME"?

Guys, you cant be dating that lady for many years and keep raising her hopes, thinking u think of her as a wife material or if u even have plans of ur future with her.

I actually admire ladies who shows courage by proposing to the guys in their lives.

Guys of nowadays are not ready to propose... I think it's about time the tables turned!

I would love such scenario where I would use the popular “let me pray about it and ask my pastor too”. I'd love the thrill.

franchasng:
Okay, I will try, I hope I remember

We still get court case. So if you forget am, e go still appear for court. So no reason am.

franchasng:
Welcome my brother. I have to be explicit to help other youths in similar situation I was some years back.


Internet is a very wonderful tool, if our youths make good use of it, they will never smell poverty.


Because of this thread, I am inspired to create a thread soon on "How Nigerian Youths Can Escape Poverty Through The Internet".

Once you create it, tag me.

MadeINchenzen2:
it's not fair calling you only when he needs something... life's hard dating someone who cares more about himself "

if he dosent call you @ least 3 times a day, I urge u to quit

I justify this thread by suggesting that;

@ least ladies can be sure they're not alone... calls from a partner gives a lady that feel she s not dating herself, 1 call is not enough neither is 2, so therefore, let him call 3 times... he needs to check on her. [/b]Communication is key remember[b], a guy who cares for his woman should endeavour to call at all times.

So we were told, but we weren't told which lock.

Alexaonfleek:
Women who like men treating them like trash have insecurity issues.
That being said,no woman likes a doormat either.
Be loving,dotting but firm as a man.


But how many times will they flog this issue on nairaland sef

Until these weak boys learn to toughen up.

ubsky:
why are you guys fond of opening female account,do you enjoy guys sliding into your DM.....Nawa ooooo

God no! We don't enjoy it. We just ignore their dms and don't post em like some douche bag who's got low self esteem.

I really wish I could tell you.

RisenPhoenix:
Sex cannot happen by mistake.
It may be overhyped, but what comes as a result of it can last a lifetime.
It may not have expired, but it could be diseased, filled up with someone else's seed or slackened. And if it isn't any of these things now, the road has been opened for it to be in future.
That was not a wise man. That was a cuckold of a fool.

Bless you sir! For you are the bearer of harsh truth.

omale88:
a man's responsibility in the family is to guide and mentor the young ones through their chores to learn to make right choices and decisions in the future and offer protection.the role of a man is to provide when necessary. but this is a relationship let's not ditch the topic,In a relationship it is based on agreement or terms,a man can decide contribute to help financially or not based on what they agree.

@bolded above, begs the question;
Why is she sounding like it's a must that any dude who dates her must take care of her kids and be RESPONSIBLE for them (in your terms)? And why are you saying it like the dude didn't do right? Check bolded below.

omale88:
did she tell you she does not have a job?responsibility isn't about money it's about being involved in the important things not necessarily spending, I mean how can you be dating a woman who has a child and not know how to get along with her child? that's the responsibility I thing she is referring too,you are free to think otherwise. I've had similar experience it's not always about your money.

omale88:
if you where a juge how fair is your judgment to this case?did she openly say she needed his money as a sign of responsibility? or you just as the rest is just assuming?

Bro I am not assuming. What do you know is a man's responsibility in a family?

Nagol95:
Good day house.

I bring this here as I always see here that it's not advisable to forgive a cheat. I and my girlfriend had a smooth relationship mid last year but by early this year we started having issues.

I was calm about the whole scenario to be brief, she cheated along the line. I saw hints but I had no evidence and we kept having issues till the end of February.

She felt the issue was too much and suggested a break up which I accepted immediately and stopped calling or texting her. We were not in contact for a week then she broke it and started calling profusely but I ignored it.

She used another number after three days and when I picked, it was her mum and she just enquired why I've been distant, I just told her I've been busy then we talked normal.

In a nutshell, she confessed all her doings with all the details and has been asking for a last chance begging everyday and feels extremely guilty. I don't want to accept because I've started rubbing it on her face but she is willing to continue.

She has made efforts by changing her number and saying that she is not in contact with the guy.

This is just a brief, I'll need advices and I could provide more info on request.

Never ever! Give a cheat a second chance, you know why? It's because she will do it again because you forgave her the first time. She will do it again and again. You will worth nothing before her as your respect will diminish. Tell her to move on at least with that guy she cheated on you with.

About she changing her number, she could memorize that dude's number. She could just change her number to convince you and still keep that other guy's number. It's all a game. Don't fall for it. Look for a new girl and make it a sound warning to her that if she ever cheats on you either texting or calling or even sexing whichever way is the end of that relationship. Don't ever accept this one back, she crossed the line and she will do it again if given another chance.

omale88:
I was backing a point which you missed,the person I replied was saying this single mum was after his money,was only saying there are single mum's out there who are only looking for men who can help them father their children while in the relationship,which means responsibility,not him necessarily spending his own money.

No doubt there are single mom with cash, and they are those I advice men to go for. As for this one on this thread, she's after money and you know it. Don't lie to yourself...