₦airaland Forum

He says sorry, then keeps quiet for a while and later heads out to buy food (cake works wonders! ). I bone for a full day (sometimes vex and pack my stuff into the bedroom and pretend to bring down boxes), then I come and meet him (he's usually in the parlour) and say "let's talk. First of all, I'm sorry".

n

armyofone:
Right Ify. Having a laundry sorter comes in handy.
When you have so many of them, really no need to wash your undies daily. Everything goes into the hot wash laundry machine during the weekend. Hand washing at night leaves your cotton undies damp and mold breeding. Don't use your bath soap to wash your undies (as common with daily washers).

Oh noes! You have mentioned a bad word: A WASHING MACHINE. Don't you know that apparently that thing is for lazy people and doesn't wash clothes cleanly (even though people have been using it for decades to wash heavily soiled clothes, in climates hotter than ours )

Oya repent and gwan take a bar of Joy soap. and wash.

zsazsa:
Please where can I buy contacts? I also have myopia plus astigmatism as well. Somebody who knows should please answer urgently. Thanks

Don't get them cheap because of your medical issues, go to a reputable eye clinic and have them measure and order for you.

Bruce Fein is not some twopenny hack, he's a lawyer with a lot of experience in Constitutional and International Law. And he has concerned himself with critiques of most U.S. presidents and foreign Heads of states with issues in their country.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruce_Fein

What kind of illegal nonsense this? The police says he was not taken by masked men, alright show the record of who bailed him out, they cannot produce it.

Abeg all the police officers in that station need to be investigated and arrested.

Why is Nigeria so. lawless??

cutiereborn:
Thank you nurse kaffy, I introduced pap to her diet, but that's like 2weeks ago, the boil like pimple just started this week & its only on her head(sclap).
@onegai, thank for your response but it isn't on her hand or anywhere else apart from her head, also I saw the pic that mama posted and its not same thing with what my DD has. Mine is more like small boils.

It sounds like. a case for her paediatrician. Actually sounds like a skin condition, not a food thingie.

oniadedoyin:
gud day mamas in d house, pls can i give my 14wks baby Similac, bcs i was tod it's good. N ao do i prepare it, like ao many mils of water and ao n as many scoop of Similac at each feed. Tnx

Hello mama. How. are you?

Please read the back of the can of formula you are giving your baby. It says there the amount of milk (scoops) per ml or ounce of water to mix. All instructions are there. It is better you read it for yourself rather than. us telling you. I don't have ay advice on Similac, it depends on your baby if he/she likes it. I've heard milk like Gerber, Aptamil, Enfamil, Nan1, SMA, FrisoGold etc are good. I'm sure Similac is fine if it's for babies from birth upwards (it will say so on the can).

I've noticed you sound kind of frantic a little in your questions. Take a deep breath, you're doing good.

cutiereborn:
Good afternoon Mamas, Hqappy Sunday!
Please, my BG has this lil boil like pimples on her sclap(skull). When I first noticed it the day before yesterday, I used oilve oil on it & it disappered but more has come up today. Please wat do I do? I don't know if she is reacting to something.She has hair on her head.
Cc: Nurse kaffy4bill & othher experienced mamas.

Someone posted a picture of what you described, happening on her baby's hand a few pages back. Why not flip back and see what answers she got and how she eventually handled it (it cleared up). HTH

5minsmadness, when they started kidnapping young girls up North and during that whole Chibok girls saga, a lot of people didn't believe and were not unfazed by the tale. Do you know why? because a lot of people said northerners marry early so why complain they kidnapped 15-16 year old girls writing exams, when their mates are marrying at 13?

Same thing I'm seeing in this situation: people are saying "why is this girl complaining when I've read her blog and she doesn't fit the mould I believe a teenage girl should be and just see the way she expressed herself on her blog". Does that mean she deserves to be assaulted?

Do we discount victims of any crime because they're not good people?

All she has to prove is to a judge that she was 17 and that the first group sex was against her will.
They are taking it to court and that's good.

5minsmadness:
nope.
But then he has spoken his side.

Onegai
Cococandy
Afroknight

for your reading pleasure.

Sorry, not gonna get into this again. I'm googling up "Queefing" and wondering how to convince hubby to gestate our 2nd child. All these side effects of having a baby...

He sounds like a saint. I don't know any saints in this world, family included. I strongly believe he had wild sex parties, but that is his business (who am I to judge? How do you I'm not just done attending one sef? ). But I'm surprised because at first he earlier said she turned 18 after their relationship started but it has changed. The important thing is WHAT AGE SHE WAS when they started. If she was of legal age, well I may deplore their morals but it ain't my business. Like I've always said.

And anyone who truly believes such wild stuff doesn't happen in Nigeria, is being unbelievably naive. And if course they always blame the girls. The only guy I know who was honest enough to admit liking group sex and didn't blame the chic involved (she was a willing partner), I still respect him till now. The others who (for example) took a LASU girl back to his room and then walked out after he was done, leaving her to the rest of his roommates and the guys next door, not only made a joke of it (that was how I heard, they cracked it in front of me). And they too, swore they didn't rape her. Because she agreed to it (never mind that it was 1am, in an unfamiliar place, person who brought her there set it up and walked away when the other boys showed up and they said the girl first begged to be let go but they told her they will drop her back at school. after, just like the boys on the ABSU video). But yeah, according to them, it wasn't rape.

Sigh... people don't. get sarcasm...

daretodiffer:
LOLZ

I stopped defending them a long time ago

Their kids move from one place to another without giving a f

Even an average Oyinbo kids sef do spend money the way they do

One of these politicians is sending his kids to Summer camp in SA for $100, 000. That's why they steal. our money, so their kids can get the best. Then give the youths N5000 to fight over and call it a day.

And the moronic youths will be hailing them...

rman:
It is disappointing the youths find the dark skin of OP the most important message that is worth pointing out instead of the underlying message of absolute failure of their leaders.

It is a shame.

Private schools that looks like this in Nigeria will cost 10times the minimum wage and we don't see that as re-colonization of the poor by the rich.

I bet there is not a single public primary school that looks like this in the whole country. We have failed ourselves.

They will see this, make jokes about the OP, fight over APC-PDP, someone will shout "FTC Endtime school" and life will go on for them. Then they will now wonder why no-one wants to. hire them but prefer the politicians' kids. who attended such schools. And this school. isn't even a private school. in the. UK

daretodiffer:
The likes of British International school= An average European School

Ahswear.

it pains me to see people fighting to defend any politician. Because those people are all United in giving their kids this sort of schooling and depriving everyone else of it. Instead of us to gang up and execute all of them.

By the time a public school. in a Nigeria reaches this level, the rest of the world will. be using Virtual a reality to learn.

otiigba1:
Idiat! So you commend him for pushing barrow with dignity? I can bet my butt you will never let any of your families take up a career in barrow pushing even if it is with dignity, as long as its some one else, barrow pushing is a brilliant job/ career.

Customers are calling him to pre-book his services. When demand for him gets too much, he will hire clean, savvy barrow pushers to work under him and give him a cut of their money. So he becomes an employer of Labour... whilst all of you are here, looking for whom to give you job in your pretty white shirt, tie and suit.

Singing defiantly "Amma get a gun, get a gun".

One of my brothers gave Baby E a book on child abuse. She was only 2 months old. Her father is there, innocently believing the best of people. Me, I assume the worst until you prove me wrong.

No sitting. on anyone's lap, Stranger Danger, no-one touches you, scream and run, I'll drum it into her head. No assuming anyone older than you is automatically a good person because a lot of predators use that "I'm an adult in a society where age is worshipped" to impose fear on their victims.

Child Abuse has always been rampant, it's just because now people are calling it a bad name and more are reporting it. 10 years ago, this story would never reach any police station, the rapist family will go and beg and he will be hidden in his village until news dies down.

It's not just gateman, drivers of schoolbuses, swimming teachers, lesson teachers, your neighbour and your child's relatives.

EfemenaXY:
Pls, you lot are scaring me.

Where was her mother when all of this was happening?

Abeg o! Still reading through this thread - but if there's one thing I'm quickly learning, we as parents - mothers especially - can't take our eyes off our girl child. Not even for half a second!

Her parents gave her the money to pay for the lesson and left. Would you think Ikoyi club was a dangerous place? Would you think a swimming lesson in the afternoon was a dangerous place? The whole thing happened in the pool, who could see what her abuser was doing? Plus add to the fact that Nigerian society usually shames a woman (do you know one guy even asked her why she was taking swimming lessons, that "is it godly, what benefit was swimming lessons to her, she was not doing the right thing at the right time, all these ajebutter kids" blah blah), she was scared.

We cannot say "where was the mother?" Haven't you heard of pastors raping teenagers during prayer meeting, would you think a church was an unsafe place? Didn't someone here say a 3 year old got molested at creche, would a creche be somewhere you would panic about leaving your kid?

We cannot keep policing our children, how many eyes do you have? Won't you blink? If you're at work, if you're in the kitchen no? We must change society's perception of abuse and rape, so that if it happens, a couple of moronic university boys would not. laugh about it when they hear later on. They will be furious.

We have to change our mindset. Churches, creche and pools exist everywhere, it's the people inside that make it dangerous.

5minsmadness:
Wait let me understand you.
So you are saying you havent seen ANY post where people, even guys especially, were castigating the guy for what he did?

I did, but 75% of the posts I saw exonerated him to the point that they ought to be paid for their hard work. Some said it was APC-PDP, others said our ancestors married at 14, one said 17 and 25 are now agemates, said she wasn't a virgin, her eye don tear, she's a vengeful ex.

Most people didn't pay Audu on the back, they simply screamed abuses at Sugabelly. There was no need to pat him on the back after that. If i were him, I'd go to court and pick a jury off NL. Not only would he win, but any girl who was no longer a virgin before 18 would have to attend mandatory sex parties and 11 would be age of consent.

No-one said "hey why didn't this guy just free her till a year later... "

My hubby went to school with him and said he wasn't a nice fellow. Another friend more bluntly called "a Shi.t". This behaviour of aggressive ownership didn't just start with this girl. But if we shoot her down, we will not hear about the quiet ones who did get their drinks spiked and end up crying in a hotel room with him and his friends. You may not like the messenger, but the message is valid.

cococandy:
Should we hold a 13 yr old responsible too?
I know they understand sex at 13 and can say No or choose to roll with the adult without being forced or coerced.

Of course we should hold a 13 year old responsible! Their mates are getting married up North, the ones down South are bi.tching about the elderly landlord grabbing them and giving them phone and recharge card afterwards to keep quiet (of course after threatening. to kill them, like a good criminal should).

18 is a magical age: we are allowed to have group sex, buy drinks, get a driver's license, join the army and learn how to use a gun to kill people so that some random guy somewhere can keep posting on NL in peace.

Now, if we train and place a firearm in a 17 year old boy's hands and tell him to protect us, most of us would say it's a bad idea.

Because...?

No-one is calling Sugabelly a saint and an innocent victim. People are upset because she is the one being blamed here for making bad choices at a time when the Law said she was too young to make good decisions. No-one will blame Mustapha Audu even though the Law says he is old enough to make good decisions. That is what Statutory Rape is: a crime against someone who should not be making decisions to have sex with another person older than he/she.

If she had been 18 when this all started, I'd be sad about her questionable choices but that's it.

5minsmadness post

Please answer these questions honestly:

1. If you travelled to a Western country and got hit on romantically by a beautiful high school senior who was everything you've fantasised about but was just turned17, would you sleep with her?

2. If i shot you and had a phone (with several names in the address book) in my hand with just enough credit for one phone call to save your life and made you pick whom to give it to, would you pick a 17 year old or a 25 year old?

Btw, I didn't have sex till I was in uni and over 18 oh. I was actually a mindless zombie (a uni boy once met me during hols and sent me a love letter in secondary school. I gave it to my mum, so at least you can now say you've met a teenage zombie ) but I'm not a good or virtuous person (on this thread I've admitted to wanting to take a life).

cococandy:
Lol @Onegai until proven innocent.
It's not that bad Na.

First let me be clear I'm not defending anyone much less this guy in question.
I'm speaking for the average guy and girl out there who are first to blame victims of rape.
Some are not evil horrible people per se. The culture bred that kind of attitude into them.

Women's sexuality is policed to no end and men are left a free hand to do as they wish. And hypocrisy is made to sound normal.
The result is what we see everyday.

Even unconsciously without realizing they are doing so, the look for how to exonerate the man and shame the woman in matters of sexual misconduct because papa Okonkwo who lived 1000yrs ago said that's how nature made it.

Don't say it's not that bad. I know someone who at 14 took swimming lessons at Ikoyi club. She was the smallest child ever, in thick glasses and certainly no Boobs or curves. The entire lesson, the older male instructor kept sliding his fingers under her bathing suit into her crotch. This terrified child would remove his hand and he would chill for a few. minutes, then fingers would. head back in. All this happened in broad daylight and since she was an inexperienced child, she began to. shiver and go even more quiet (that is the behaviour of most women when attacked, they retreat into. themselves). Finally. she. couldn't take. it anymore and whispered that her stomach was paining her so class should. end. Her fear and anguish reduced her to whispers.

Years later, when she was telling some guys the story, half of them blamed her for not shouting and acting like a combo of Voltron and Super Girl and beating him up, the rest half of those guys laughed and said she must have been enjoying it that was why she was quiet.

Even when. it's wrong, their minds instinctively go on the defense to the male accuser. Until that mindset changes, every man is a potential rapist in my eyes. Yes, family included (na dem worss pass sef). We need to stop defending the inexcusable.

There are good guys out there, but how am I to know which one is good until I'm in a compromising situation? It's upto them to defend their manhood and reclaim the honor that should be theirs by telling their peers to stop. After all, they keep. writing us women lists for How to keep a man, Ladies maintain your shape, Submission in Marriage etc so let them start weeding out the bad apples.

Jahblessme:
@cococandy
It's not that she's popular..I found her blog when she started and it just was morbid and realish..
Always talking about Bakura.I was always wondering how a person could be so miserable.People always tried to encourage her but she just could never got better..From one dark story to another,sometimes just one line.I had to stop reading cos of the gloom and so much mental suffering she wrote about.
But she's so talented and her stories about her illustrations so beautiful.
I'm now more determined to raise my children up to be healthy emotionally..I'd rather my child is over confident than suffering low self esteem abeg.

Even that over-confidence is. dangerous. I remember in uni, boys planning for girls because "they were feeling too big" or lecturers telling students "that thing you are keeping that you think. is. so. precious, I will taste it. or you won't graduate".

I've told Baby E's dad that I'm heading to that shooting range in Ogun state. I don't believe in the a Nigerian justice system and I'm smart enough to get away with murder. I will train my child to see the average Naija man as a monster until proven innocent (let anyone who is pained go and hug a live transformer). I know what i went through myself.

Do they think it is today or this case these politicians' kids behave as if they own human beings? Do you think the corruption and rot in their parent's souls doesn't affect the. child?

Sugabelly is certainly not innocent, but it. is baffling to me that they are expecting a 17 year old girl to make better decisions than a 25 year old man and blaming her.

What stopped that 25 year old guy from finding a consenting 22 year old woman to join his games? He is guilty of statutory rape because He has admitted to a relationship with her when she was legally underage. Shikena. He is not even the problem (I've rarely met a sane child of a politician), but the average guy on the street is defending him...

modath:
The guy should get a better PR team, this is a shoddy Job!!


TonyeBarcanista, search yourself & try to reconcile this guy's story, Karma is laying siege for all wrongdoers..

Onegai, see excuse..... mtcheww!!

Na real wa.

Ghost01:
This consensual sexual relationship was between two spoiled brats aged 17 and 25, and if the emails are anything to go by, it took place in the very year she turned 18. Unless we want to make hypocrites of ourselves, this kind of relationship is very common in our society. They belong to the same age bracket. This is different from, say, 17 to 45.

Please where exactly are you from that 17-25 is in the same age group? In my village, age group is 3+ years according to how my ancestors defined it. In the city I grew up in (Lagos), 17 and 25 is cause for alarm (one is about to enter uni, the other is about to get a job). So how are they mates? Or where you come from, 11 and 19 is a normal dating couple bah? Same number of years, so I guess that's also right.

chai...

modath:
I have a friend who refuses to allow her own blood brother pick up from school, take them out , let alone, be alone with her daughters & all that comes to my mind each time is "which bastard made my dear friend so paranoid & scared of her own shadow" ... Wish I could break it out of her but have a feeling she's taking it to her grave!!! ;


One day, some boys in OAU were paraded in just boxers for raping a jambite, all 90% of the guys were talking about was "how useless the chic was for going off campus with a guy she barely knows" ... One mumu in my class would never forget the hell I gave him in a hurry!!!

Women in Nigeria(Africa sef) are getting punished for Eve's sin... So pathetic!!

Howdy & LO?

We are fine o. Today was spent arguing with hubby if she will go to a mixed boarding school (my short answer: Never). Now it's to go to the shooting range in Ogun state and practise with a gun that remains.

How's LBK, has he started university?

@stillfire,

In a normal society, a 25 year old man having kinky. affairs with a 17 year old girl would have had his arse in jail by now. But we're in Nigeria... so her morals are to be judged. I mean, he could have waited till the following year and done as he pleased and whilst it would have been immoral, it would certainly not be illegal. But everyone is falling over themselves to defend. an illegal relationship.

It doesn't matter if. she rode to his office on a camel and offered herself wearing nothing but a Persian rug and had slept with the entire U-17 football team before then, the Nigerian Constitution says that it is illegal for an adult. male. to. take advantage of her stvpidity. He should have controlled himself till she was of legal age and therefore presumed to be adult enough to make that decision. But yeah, him breaking the law is not important, let's focus on her morals and her parenting.

Next time I see any thread in which someone rapes a minor, I shall certainly congratulate the accused. He's innocent until the underage minor can prove to us that she didn't deserve it. After all, a 10 year old in a spaghetti-strap top is clearly asking for "it" in Nigerian society. And just let me hear anyone hashtag #ChildNotBride, i'll insult them. We need. more 13 year old happily married women...

modath:
Bros, why are you so concerned about this matter & addressing the wife like she is on NL ?


Any personal stake in this matter?


I'm with Seun on this, one can't believe or disbelieve the story& 17 & 25 is still statutory RAPE ..

Statutory Rape is being defended by men and people are asking me why I say I cannot let my daughter end up with a Nigerian man. Nigeria, the only place where Rape and Domestic Violence is not just tolerated, but celebrated. This Mustapha. guy went to school. with my hubby and when he heard, he couldn't deny the claims or defend his. old. classmate. No-one who knows these guys will publicly stand up for them, they'd rather keep quiet. Na today? Do you known how many girls. would rather keep quiet and forget anything rather than speak up and be insulted by strangers?

Later on, they will be clamouring for a better country. You deserve your leaders, o Nigeria. May you continue to. wallow. in your corrupted lives.

Jeloma:
Leave these gullible and ignorant people. Right from when this bullshit story came out, I never believed it and when I expressed this, you should have seen the insults I received. Some even went as far as accusing me of being among the rapists! I really don't get why people would believe a story with no concrete evidence! It doesn't make any sense whatsoever, and I believe it's only irrational, illogical people that would do so. Anybody can come on a social media platform and just make up any story, and it would be foolhardy to believe any of it. Some people would just never get it, show them proof from today till tomorrow, they'll still believe sugabelly's lies, and to make matters worse, she's a known liar on twitter and instagram (more reason not to believe her story). Maybe it's because a governor is involved, that's why they believe this story.

Do you realise that people who went to school with this Mustapha and know of him, are not defending him?

Yet here you are, passionately fighting for a man you have never set your eyes on. Good on you!

Seriously I do sincerely hope you get paid for your hard work.

TonyeBarcanista:
You are now shifting goal post from he forcefully raped me with his friends to having consensual sex with a 17years old is rape. Total bumkum! We are not in America. This way of reasoning is improper, it only shows that people like you are determined to rope a the proverbial dog in order to have it killed.

Well in the eyes of the Nigerian Constitution, he has broken the law. The law says legal age of consent is 18. So whether or not she walked there and begged for it a million times, it was ILLEGAL of him to accept.

But since that is not important, then there is no point in us complaining about any politician or any party's corruption. Since we all don't care about breaking the law, then anything goes. So if someone rapes your underage minor, he won't go to jail. And if you attack him because he does, you should go to jail. After all, the law doesn't matter, does it?

If your 15 year old daughter complains that your 40 year old landlord raped her, but gave her a recharge card afterwards to shut her up, we will certainly not defend her. She's making a false accusation against him because she took the recharge card, even though he knee she was too young. Agreed?

NosoChic:
For the fact that she was 17 years at that time and he was 25 years, he took advantage of her.

In saner communities, he will be serving time for this.

I pray you STAND through it all in the end.....Rising above it all

THANK YOU. Finally, a sane comment.

It does not matter if she walked there several times and he kept passing her around to his friends. a the legal age of consent in Nigeria is 18. So The Audus are guilty of Statutory Rape of a Minor and Sexual Abuse.

There was nothing stopping Mustapha Audu from turning her away once he found out her age, no matter how "experienced" or not he thought she was. He could have waited a year, then we could deplore his morality but it won't be illegal.

As it is, he's a criminal already for admitting he slept with a 17 year old girl. and used her for wild acts.

kovak:
You've got my point. So how do I deal with the situation so that everyone can have a happy home to live?

Firstly, ask her if those. words. were words. she. grew. up. with. Remind. her how it felt to hear them and tell her "words. can maim. and if you are. not over that type of. language, don't pass it on to your kids". She may not see. it as. a big deal. but remind her of. it (no-one forgets those. words. said. to them).

Practically, get 4 jars with lids. Everyone gets a jar. Create a list of bad words (in my sister's home, STVPID, IDIOT etc are bad words). Anyone who uses a bad word, deposits N50 in the jar. And the end of the week, the person with the fewest amount of words gets all the money in the jars or collate all the money frpm the jars and donate it to the charity home near you or give it to a low-income family you know.