₦airaland Forum

Kimoni:
Happy happy birthday mama E!!!

Where is our cake and jorrof rice biko?

God bless you dear

ore mi, tenkyou o.


No cake nor rice o. I got dressed, painted my face and wore Akpola high heels. Le Husbs looked at me confused and asked "do you have plans because I didn't plan anything o"

These are the contents of my diaper bag, you can see the cloth diapers at the far right corner. That's about 5 diapers there (I picked blue ones for Baby E to wear because her outfit today is blue and white). That white flowery bag is the wet bag to store dirty diapers and any wet clothes. They come in different colours and patterns and you can use them (if you take care of them well) for multiple kids. Red diaper bag with everything packed to go.

ciano1110:
Good day mum and dad,pls help my 8wks old daughter is having this patches on her face that are lighter than her normal complexion and it spreading to her hair, I just started using sudocream, pls wot can I use to clear it off...thanks

Sudocrem is an antiseptic cream, 15% zinc oxide. If she doesn't have a rash or eczema, I don't know if you should be using it. Why not show it to your doctor to see what she prescribes? Or put a picture up here, maybe someone can recognise what's going on or show a dermatologist. Also try coconut oil or shea or cocoa butter on the patches, it may work.

I mix my own diaper rash protective cream from basic ingredients like beeswax, cocoa butter, Shea butter, lanolin, coconut oil. It's safe to use even on faces and hair (I use as my body cream) and keep the zinc oxide creams for when we have a rash (which is rare).

Y'all still fighting? Oya stop, hammer time! It's nah birthday whoop whoop

xynerise:
Obasanjo

But was it ever confirmed or just his son accusing him in anger?

bushdoc9919:
Takeaways with Bushdoc....loading....


Before I talk......RIP to the woman

I have a few questions for the case....

1.We do not know how long the woman was in labour before she got to the hospital. That is crucial. If she had been in labour for a prolonged period of time...something tells me that her condtion was a disaster waiting to happen.

Note that the water breaks when the cervix is fully dilated....meaning that by then the woman HAS been in labour for over ten hours. The man AND wife presented late to the hospital.....and something tells me that his wife did not go for ANC.

2.Why do we tell women to go for ANC?

Because disasters like this could happen?

We do not know the woman's ANC history at all. How long she attended clinic, whether she did ultrasound....so that we can catch any possible complications on time.

3.Yes the nurses sent her to Igando General....because this was an obstetric emergency....and I doubt a small clinic could handle post partum hemmorhage that bad.For that you need a specialist.....and that is why they sent them to Igando General. But our husband did not go...and vital time was wasted.

4.When she was taken there....there was no space. Husband made noise...they found a bed....but if she had lost lots of blood....the case was too late. She needed ICU plus transfusion of lots of blood And a hysterectomy. Am sure the lack of space hampered care....everyone is busy with lots of emergencies....and one more stretches the whole workload.

5.In my opinion, the woman died not because of nurse....but because of lack of adequate facilties, and lack of specialists.


NOW HERE IS WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE.

1.Labour starts.

2.Woman is rushed to the nearest hospital by ambulance. LONG BEFORE THE WATER BREAKS.

3.Active management of labour starts with every change noted on a PARTOGRAM

4.Based on the changes....labour can be terminated medically or surgically (CS).

5.Post partum haemorrhage can be stopped by active measures.


The problem started long before the woman went into labour....and was prolonged by the fact that there was no adequately trained staff, and no adequately equipped hospitals.(Government .....una don hear? especially the APC governor of this state).....and poor health education.We also need more specialists....especially obstetricians.

If you are a woman reading this

1.Register for ANC as soon as you are pregnant.

2.Go to hospital when labour starts...do not wait for water to break.

3.Make sure there is an obstetrician on standby.

The husband took her to the first clinic because she was registered for ante-natal there. It's in the story so let's not pass the buck. Why were there no doctors on call? The nurses, well, they were trying to avoid getting into trouble and they couldn't handle the emergency.

GHoJes:
Hahahaha

...You spend a little bit of everyday hidding from the children.

...when third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his pocket money.

Onegai, your mum told you to apply brake by riding into the gate. The gate must have been so strong to withstand a bicycle that have survived two kids or she was tired of the gate, bicycle or both..lolz.

This was in the era of armed robbers so that gate was nice and strong, she cared for the gate and knew it could survive impact. It was the bicycle and me that were expendable

When will the masses get angry, rise up and have a revolution? Then publicly execute the politicians.

France did it successfully. By the time you have executed even half of the heads of service and different parastatals, the whole federal and state government will be scrambling to work hard. You will see your LG chairman personally sweeping road. under hot sun and senators will pass bills and paratstatals will work and healthcare will be fixed.

Chai

babygirlfl:
Thank ma'am. I am learning from you. Mine is not unisex but now I know to buy unisex clothes next time. Could you kindly expand more on the clothes diapers. Heard about it but have really not done much research on it or used it.

Cloth diapers are awesome. They save quite a bit of money for you and neither i nor my friends ever have diaper rash (due to the fact that you change them more often). But I probably won't buy them here in Nigeria: you won't get a lot of variety and you need to get the right fit and absorbency. The ones I've seen here are really cheap Chinese stuff or just one brand.

Types:
They have All in one's (which are like disposable), complete diaper, just change and wash them. These are convenient but dry longer.

All in two,
made up of a diaper cover and an insert. Like the ones your parents used but much better. So if the baby is wet, you can change the insert but still keep using the cover all day. These are usually cheaper but don't get microfiber inserts, get cotton or bamboo or hemp inserts or prefold cloth made of those fabrics. I haven't seen any very absorbent inserts sold here in Nigeria but if you can shop off Amazon, you'll get everything you need.

Maybe I'll write everything down and add pictures as well later, so you can see. There are a lot of options on the market and truly the best options are a mix and match, not one system (please don't let anyone convince you otherwise) you will buy easily off Amazon and be happier in the long run.

babygirlfl:
So true. I just kept buying things when I was pregnant for my cutie. Most of them ended up not being used. Then the over the top cleaning of the whole house.

You'll use them for the second baby. Baby E's newborn clothes are all unisex colours for that reason. I went even more gangster and inherited baby clothes, a carrier and some stuff second-hand from others and bought a gym and other things from a second-hand shop. She's using cloth diapers which the second child will also use as well. I didn't go overboard buying stuff for her, her father ok the other hand (thank goodness I stopped him)

My mother

First daughter: had a special bicycle flown in from the UK

Second daughter: had a pretty pink bicycle from Mothercare in Lagos

Me: "abeg use the bicycles your other ones used, I know it doesn't have seat, it's rusted and it has no brakes. Ride into the gate if you want to stop"

4C2215131:
Straight up! BTW you sure do get around or maybe your views are professional in nature? Please don't take this the wrong way. When I said professional I meant the possibility of you being in the hospitality business/industry. I travel much owning to business and have been in some of these hotels but your breakdown seemed very professional. Nice one.

Thanks hubby and I like to travel but his favorite part is booking the hotel, he feels the right hotel can make the holiday. We do getaways to hotels even though we live in Lagos because sometimes one simply needs a break. I even bought hotel-style pillows for our bed back home.

modath:
Yesssssssssssss.....

LBK looks fantastic, congrats mama

modath:
Where all dem biuriful bebe gyals attttttt !!

LBK in da house...

Baby E says "have you gathered my bride price? "

Laid2001:
SPOT on.
That Kittycat is only being mischievous by half.
There are reputable site on the internet that can help him. I have been in Many Hotels all over the world and surely that Nike will struggle to get to 4 star. Stars are given based on combinations of service, esthetics, facilities etc.

Nigerian hotels are the most expensive star for star compared to most other places in the world.

Nigerian hotels are overpriced. Oya, since you've stayed in hotels around the world, name. your favourite (name and country)

.

kettykin:
Federal palace is not as good as Nike Lake, the best in Nigeria seems to be Eko lemeridien

You've clearly not stayed at those hotels now, have you

The best are Oriental hotel, Radisson Blu and The Wheatbaker. Eko hotel (VI) is very standard (not so big, not so impressive rooms but their pool is lovely) and Four Points by Sheraton (VI) is pretty nice too (with a great spa). Federal Palace (VI) has a nice African feel to its decor and is quite nice. Protea hotel (Ikeja) has this lovely bathtub which is a proper tub, not attached to anything, it's in the room so someone can lie down on the bed and watch you bath (very romantic). The Wheatbaker (Ikoyi) is beautiful and very artsy. Best Western is like a typical hotel go find anywhere. Radisson Blu has a lovely lunch buffet. Southern Sun hotel (Ikoyi) is quite small but they have a nice breakfast buffet.

All these hotels above have their price ranges from N60, 000 upwards per night (unless you're a card member). Nike hotel (Enugu) looks decent but is no where near any of them. Unless you're having a laugh, then sure, you can compare. No go talk dis your talk outside, dem go call you village pikin

alienvirus:
Pics 4 to 6 (Federal Palace)

You didn't even show one of the nice features for Federal Palace hotel's pool, which is their awesome waterslide and the fact that it overlooks the sea

Federal Palace and Eko hotel have the nicest pools IMHO.

Protea hotel Ikea has a pretty water feature at the top of its pool.

OP, no vex but this your hotel, I won't pay more than N12, 000 nightly for it.

Kimoni:
yeye woman. How's baby E?

She's fine. We, her parents, are not


How una side?

Kimoni:
Hehehehehe so men also give and get this kind of advice good to know. Fair points though

@onegai - have you seen this

I saw nothing because a pig flew across the sky as I read it

OK, only one poster here has given you great advice: Madam Tearoses.

Turn all friendships into family friends. The reason you should have a problem with this guy is not because he's a guy, but because of the TYPE of guy he is (an ashawo). Do what she says and you start wearing "red pant and black bra" i.e. loving up your woman emotionally. If you want to do "StrongMan" and command abi na instruct her to cut ties, guess what, that guy is also a Naija man. Which means he knows you're go in to command her and like a good playa, will subtly manipulate her once you do (because according to your wife, he's slept with other married women so he definitely knows how to turn their husbands' words around).

Love her up and sweetly tell her you'd be more comfortable if she reduced her convo with this guy. Love her up first! (gifts, petting, kisses, compliments). I've seen "StrongMan" tactics fail twice in this situation in my family and the only time the wife didn't stray was because her hubby loved her up and removed the threat.

First find a training school for them that you, the kids and the dogs will attend. You can train them to be housepets (not dogs chained outside) and they will be so behaved that they will bark and rush to the door/gate anytime they want to potty.

Tell the kids "it is your responsibility if you want to keep the dogs". Which means baths and feeding and walks must be sorted by your kids, so you stop getting HBP.

Food, go to pet section and ask them to give you a reasonable meal plan of rice and imported dog food.

And divorce is not the worst thing that can happen to a marriage. There are so many cheating wives out there, if I were a man, I would be too busy close-marking my wife to cheat. Theirs is worse because the deceit is so clever, you can never catch them. The one that sends out monthly "Happy new month IJN" messages, who told the other man "is it because I just had a baby that you don't want to sleep with me? " She didn't even say "is it because I'm married", her husband was of no importance to her. Yet she's a strong church attender. Or the other who registered her kids for after-school swimming and lessons (that Ikoyi club, the number of affairs going on there eh, Sodom and Gomorrah). Or the lady who confessed to be sleeping with her ex, her husband didn't know she had another SIM card to communicate.

A woman divorcing you is a woman tired of you. Infact that's the easier option. Fear the woman who stays with you and says nothing when she knows you're a philandering idiot. Those women told me as a child "property in your name, and there are ways to help a man have a heart attack quicker, because Nigeria is so stressful".

nevanevaland:
Thanks, had d convo with him , he couldn't / didn't deny it. He had no explanation, was just looking at me like a dumb. I left him standing, and left d house.
Oh yes, d grief kicked in eventually, cried my eyes out. It just came as a rude shock I guess, now I know better

Pele.

I wanted the grief to come out, I knew it was shock and anger and pain that made you open his thread.

You know better. You now see how weak he is. But you cannot change him, he has to change and work on himself (he should use his hands to send away the friends that were encouraging his lousy behaviour). He has to earn your trust. He has to wake up every day and earn your love. Because forgetting will not be easy and neither is forgiving. And anyone who tells you to cry to God and instantly God will heal, is expecting a lot from you. Because that is not reality, it takes years for people to truly heal. So don't force it, take as long as you want to be angry and upset.

Now, watch him. He has to fix this. HE HAS TO FIX THIS. If he doesn't give a damn about fixing the mistakes he made in jeopardizing his marriage, then he's an arse. If he dares try to turn the tables and make this all your fault, know that is not. Because he had several choices and he chose to cheat and be led astray. Tell him that he was willing to throw away a woman dedicated to his happiness forever and the unconditional love of his wife and child for a few minutes of pleasure that was very cheap (N2000 right? ) and he should decide what is important to him because this is not a mistake that should ever be repeated. And there must be consequences: no more late nights, total honesty and openness, true remorse, better communication and telling you about everything (had you two been good communicators, he would have shared with you that he had hopeless friends encouraging him to cheat).

And for you, guard your heart. Focus on loving your son.

daretodiffer:
It happened in the divorce case of Dr Tunde Soleye and his exwife( after his marriage to Nike Oshinowo). I don't know much about the ratio of the court

That was an epic case! Book of Angry Women Chapter 11, verse 23 and I quote: "Thou shalt not fvck with Nike Oshinowo, particularly after thine has played away match with younger women and she knew precisely what you were and smiled like a hungry shark"



There are some women in this Nigeria that when they smile at a man, his people should save his life by kidnapping and smuggling him out of the country before she comes over to introduce herself.

Beryl15:
Pls mamas my baby has eczema, we saw the pediatrician and was asked to use hydrocortisone cream, the rash is gone now but her skin is still very dry and scaly. What baby moisturizing creams can I use?
I'm currently using aveeno baby eczema therapy and I'm not seeing any sig improvement.

Hydrocortisone is a steriod. It may have thinned her skin a bit. Try adding oil (olive oil perhaps) to her bath water daily then using olive or Coconut oil as her moisturizer. A lot of baby lotions and creams are not as emollient as possible. Add the olive oil to her bathwater, then Aveeno cream followed by more olive oil on the worst scaly parts. It sounds like overkill but should work. Avoid Baby oil, it's usually just mineral oil that does nothing and worsen a situation. What soap are you using, why not try Aveeno creamy wash as well?

So, Aveeno creamy wash+olive oil in bathwater, followed by Aveeno Eczema lotion+ a layer of olive oil on top. Don't worry, she won't sweat, olive oil will be absorbed into her skin and has many lovely healing properties (but don't use baby oil, that will sit on the surface of her skin, make her greasy and probably make things worse). HTH.

Way inappropriate for an underage girl. She looks 18 in that dress, so she should not complain when she gets the attention of men and "what they want". And her mother (knowing what men are) allowed this...

shoksimba:
Madam, its clear from your response that you indeed have a wonderful and caring husband, that both of you have a perfect marriage in bed and in home generallym.
Did you even remember all you went through before your title changed to MRS; as a lady you'll understand better.
Beside, I'm not soliciting nor support your hubby's cheating on you, but men are just too weak before their wives. You caan use your powers to make things right and with the help of God.

nevanevaland:
Found out last night.
That's d major problem! How do I know am not in danger of std! Or worst scenario, d girls realise he's just using them (2k, Wat sorta money is dat?) n decide to use juju It's a sad story honestly, he's even sleeping wt divorcee n married woman. I think he's deranged.
Can't believe I didn't kill him before daybreak!

Oh honey, don't. Go pour yourself a drink (alcoholic, even if you don't drink). Let your nerves calm down. Say nothing for now (your emotions are raging justifiably). Weekend, during football, turn to him calmly and mention the names of some of the regular ho's he meets with and say sweetly "honey do you mind using a condom, since I'm also careful? " And say nothing after!

Be quiet. If he shouts, stay calm. Just tell him he has lost your respect, your trust and any goodwill and you will not go around carrying happy face and dying on the inside to preserve his public persona of a good husband. Be very calm when doing this. Let's see what he says and does.

An angry woman calmly speaking to a man terrifies them.

or... you can let everyone guilt you into believing it's your fault and use religion and culture to drown
you into swallowing and shutting up and bottling it up to the point where you take it out on your child or friend or coworker or one innocent pepper seller or housemaid and then they will come and punish you for being "bitter" later.

Deep breaths.

When did you find out?

Before you call a divorce lawyer, do you have a plan, finances, somewhere to stay?

Why not calm down and see what's going on? Is your marriage in danger, can you stand this man, did you like him before you found out? Try and understand your feelings. Then confront him. What's he doing, why and how is he going to fix your marriage? His answers will help you decide how to move forward. If you cannot continue, if his behaviour put you in danger (std) and you have a plan and can be emotionally strong and all you feel is contempt...

If he is remorseful and immediately starts doing EVERYTHING to fix your marriage, rebuild your trust in him and regain your love....

If you hate him but he's rich, get separate bedrooms most nigerian men will have a heart attack before 49.

But this is not your fault. He had problems with you, he should have brought it to you rather than carry his cheating butt to women outside.

PDP convention over a decade ago, they packed buses of. university girls. Even before that, it's old business. The smart ones amongst them. leverage on the guys they meet for contracts and use the money they get wisely. The stvpid ones buy phones and weaves and flashy bags.

And all of you wailing about not finding girls to marry, oh puhleeae sit ya arses down. Do you know how many guys I know, who slept their way into a fortune, both with women and men? And uni boys even organised the girls for these parties for a fee.

And this is not a Nigerian woman thing, you clearly didn't hang out with the bigwigs, there are so many foreign chicks (black, asian and white) in Nigeria, especially in Lagos and Abuja, doing this runs. They even have an agency for it (for those. in the know) to cater for elite parties. Or did Lara met Osho in church??

Do you know how many light-skinned chicks get approached by men, that they are friends with a politician and all they need do is attend their parties and befriend said politician and in return put in a good word for them to be awarded contracts? Do you know how old that game is in Nigeria??

Blame the government and society. Your politicians stole from you and you hailed them, so they decided that since you were so obliging, they would also help themselves to your daughters and sisters and wives.

saxywale:
There are no alligators in Africa.

A lot of people don't know that...