₦airaland Forum

You weren't testing her, you were being awful to her because you wanted yo, and now you've realised no-one else will take this amount of crazy from you and guilt is eating you up. Apologise to her, get yourself counselling, it's hard to find in Nigeria, but look for someone who's head is screwed on right and see una fit start a group, talk about this, maybe read your bible, not a fellowship. Then give her space. Let her decide what she wants, because all you've done is punish her and she's become used to it. If you marry her the way you are, you're going to make her miserable. Trust me

Why are you advising him not to break up these girls' friendship, he has already made up his mind that h wants to. Everyone is saying, don't do it, chances are it won't work out. I have seen this situation several times, it never works out, even if it leads to marriage (infact, the 2 friends reconciled because after the 2nd girl had married the guy and couldn't give him a baby, and action started happening, she needed a place to stay). It is oju kokoro that is worrying him. I've said it before and I'll say it again: you cannot build your happiness on someone else's sorrow. You are happily saying "well I promised her nothing", trying to justify this. You've still not answered my question "if your friend follows you to visit a chick and does the proper duties of a wingman to be nice to her (in order to strengthen your case), and the girl opens a thread on NL "How do I move from this guy to his friend, we are not dating yet sha, but I flirted with him and intimated that maybe I'd like to date him", what would your answer be?

Or are you one of those who feel "True love doesn't respect any boundaries?" Are you determined to have your way at all costs? Then go ahead.

mekaboy: YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG, EVEN IN THE BIBLE, JESUS VISITED 2 WOMEN, ONE WAS ALWAYS RUNNING AROUND COOKING, BUT ONE WAS ALWAYS CLOSER TO HIM. GUESS WHICH WAS HIS FAVORITE ?

YOU PEOPLE ARE JUMPING INTO CONCLUSION HERE, WHO TOLD YOU I WAS SAYING SWEET STUFF AND PROMISING TO TURN HER WORLD AROUND IF WE DATE. PLEASE WE JUST HAVE CASUAL CONVERSATIONS. I DID NOT SAY I WILL COME AND TAKE THIS ONE OUT THIS WEEK AND THE OTHER OUT THE NEXT WEEK, I JUST SAID THEY SHOULD BOTH PREPARE. I TRIED MY BEST TO KEEP MY CONVERSATION TRANSPARENT WITHOUT GIVING MORE ATTENTION TO ANY .

THERE IS THIS INWARD BEAUTY I FOUND IN THE OTHER ONE THAT MADE ME FEEL SHE WAS THE ONE. SHE WAS SO CALM AND HUMBLE, EVEN AFTER THE MEAL WE WERE GISTING, SHE TOOK THE PLATES OUT AND WASH THEM. SOMETHING TOLD ME, THIS IS THE ONE.

THIS IS LIFE, YOU COULD MEET YOUR WIFE THROUGH A FRIEND. PEOPLE EVEN MARRY 2 SISTERS, HOW ABOUT THAT ? HAVEN,T YOU GONE TO THE MARKET TO BUY SOMETHING AND ENDED UP BUYING SOMETHING ELSE.?

Do you know I actually bet someone you'd quote the bible soon? I've won recharge card, my guy, thanks. It would be different if you met them separately and was trying to make up your mind, but you didn't. Go read your bible, lovie, Jacob didn't have an easy time marrying 2 sisters. In real life, I've never seen what you want end up happy. You're trying to justify it, which shows how wrong it is. And as for clearing plate making her humble, go and meet my cousin's wife, she will even pound yam, heck, that's too far, my sister will make ogbono from scratch (ie. grind the ogbono herself). Then go and ask anyone whether they like any of those women's tempers or if people even feel cool going to visit them for more than 2 days without them getting angry or making you feel uncomfortable for coming. But they will clear your plate after food for you, make no doubt about that Did it occur to you that the reason her roommate cleared the dishes was because she was trying to support her girl with this new guy, or you think they didn't discuss it before?

Please I pray you start talking to a girl, who meets your friend, who then pays for her ice-cream while you're all out together and tries to make you look good in her eyes, like a good wingman should. Then let the girl come and say she likes your friend better because of that. If that happens, you'll understand this decision.

See why you should not be good to naija men? They don't deserve it. You'll meet someone, you and he will be talking, even though he hasn't asked you out, he will say all the sweet nothings in the world and treat you like you're his girl. You'll let your guards down, invite him to come see you, cook him a nice meal, pretty yourself up for him. He'll then show up and his dick will start making decisions for him, wanting to break up a friendship between 2 women. Then you'll now come crying and saying "why are women so wicked to other women".

You see a naija man and the devil, choose the devil. Because there's 3000 years of documentation to show how badly the devil acts, so you know what to expect. Naija men are still unpredictable.

mekaboy: YOU GUYS ARE GETTING IT ALL WRONG, WE ARE JUST FRIENDS.I HAVE NOT HAD ANYTHING WITH EITHER OF THEM, I HAVE NOT EVEN ASKED THE ON THAT INVITED ME OUT .

I HAVE NOT EVEN TOLD HER I LIKE HER OR WILL LIKE TO DATE HER, I JUST ENJOY HER COMPANY. I THOUGHT I WILL GET SOME ENCOURAGEMENT FROM GUYS HERE, BUT I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN NL GUYS. IM SURE MOST OF YOU HAVE BEEN IN A SIMILAR POSITION AND JUST PRETEND, IM TALKING OF A LIFE PARTNER HERE NOT JUST GAMES. WELL WITH OOR WITHOUT YOUR HELP,I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FIGURE OUT THE FIRST STEP.

I HAVE TOLD THE BOTH OF THEM THAT I AM COMING TO TAKE THEM OUT NEXT WEEKEND, AND MADE THE BOTH OF THEM PROMISE THEY WONT DISAPPOINT AND THEY DID. I JUST HOPE WHEN THE DAY COMES, IT WONT BE ONLY THE ONE THAT INVITED ME THAT WILL BE AVAILABLE.

Yup, you sound super-mature, so mature that you are even more mature than the word "Maturity". Gosh, sarcasm can be hard to convey well over the internets, innit?

You have now gone to announce competition "I will come and take you out next week, I will also come and take out your roommate next week. You must both promise to be available for my test-driving. The one wey show and perform well, go win". It's like the Olympics. Will you award your choice with a medal? See how people start causing trouble and selfishly declare, "no o, am a nigerian christian".

This has to be best decision I have heard on NL, a place filled with amazing decisions. Yup. Sarcasm, how does one convey it well....

Monjerk: Why are you analysing the post, for ur information she said she n her ex do see each other constantly not only on communicating. So what have you come out with, u ar justifying good what she is doing.

Please when you re-write JAMB, spend more time practising Reading and Comprehension. People were saying her story didn't make sense (which was weird, it was very easy to follow), so I broke it down to show the timeline of events. No-one supported her, but you weirdly saw that answer in my reply. So, my free advice to you is to focus on Reading and Comprehension, and Spelling.

You're welcome.

mekaboy: R U GUYS SAYING U NEVER SAW SOMEONE AND HAD AN INSTANT CONNECTION WITH THE PERSON?

Yes, we call it Lust. But the normal decent people don't become dismissive and almost insulting of the first person that they are attracted to, which is what you did, which is why we're all insulting you. Because you showed us your character and what you really want from the girl(s).

Leave them alone. There are women who want what you want out there. Just hold your money when you're going to meet them, simples.

So you're a dog, what else in new?

I think what happened was that her hubby travelled abroad, before they got married, then she met her ex. Since she didn't wanna break up with the hubby (most likely at that time, they had confirmed they were getting married and the ex was awesome, but an unknown quantity), she went back to hubby and they got married. And now she and ex are still comunicating

Please listen to the less-known composers like Elgar, Debussy, Mascagni and Sarasate.

I don't agree with you that the girl that marries him is special compared to the one that he played and dumped. A co-worker of mine used to love and support her bf. One special day, sleeping over in his house, she checked his phone and saw a number that wasn't hers as wifey. See crying. Of course, she had to end the relationship, the guy was unrepentant about the whole affair and got married. 2 years later, they meet and she now becomes "the one that got away". She just ran.

Men and women value things differently and then with hindsight, realise they threw away something very good. My cousin, with his money and popular last name, is desperately searching for wife. His older brother insulted him to me "he had several good girls when he was younger and was chopping and cleaning mouth happily. One was even wifely. Now he's sobered up, all the girls around him love him for his money and status. He's thrown all the good ones away".

eliznkiru: the man i love is getting married to another lady soon and we still see each other and my feeling for him is still strong likewish him too i dont no what to do because i no if we continue to see each other i may end up bring more and more problem to his home but i dont want to quit

what do u think i should do

He doesn't like you. If he did, nothing in the world would stop him from breaking up with that girl and following you. Tell him to leave that girl and marry you, you will hear the excuses he will give you. That's when you'll know your level in his life. All over NL are threads with men breaking with people to marry another, even though they have kids, yet you're accepting his excuses. I don't condone a man cheating, and it's worse when na you dey cheat with am on his fiancee, as he's never gonna be faithful to you (but somehow, you'll expect this when you marry him, because even though you got by cheating, you amazingly expect he will be faithful SMH )
In his mind, you are good enough to sleep with but not good enough to marry. If you're satisfied with being that, more grease to your elbow.

Fill in your eyebrows with a dark brown pencil or powder that has a cool undertone (i.e not something reddish). You never want to use black, as it looks too heavy. Also, never have really slim over-shaved eyebrows. The more full your eyebrows, the more it frames your face and makes you look youthful. Use short strokes when filling in your eyebrows.

Always take off ALL makeup before you go to bed, use baby wipes, or some vaseline on cotton-wool, if you don't have access to a makeup cleanser

http://www.facebook.com/#!/nory.mua

Anyone who think sey dem know how to play electric guitar, watch the original Queen guitarist and weep

chaircover: did anyone just hear that?? 16 years ago Team GB only won one gold medal

And they started working hard and planning and are going home with 60 medals. Instead of Nigeria to start training for Rio this week, we'll wait till 2 months to the Olympics and expect miracles. China, France, GB, America have already picked the next olympiads for Table Tennis and they're only 12 and 13. South Africa said it takes a nation to win a medal. Jamaica will go and train more Usain Bolts and Yohan Blakes. And you bet Brazil will not rest until they win a Gold in Football in Rio. Let's see if Nigeria will start asking athletes to train and sponsor their training including competition participation this month.

But nooooo

Watching Stomp, see how we can use anything to make music and art. See Spelbound, Amazing.

Music acts so far: Madness, One Direction and Pet Shop Boys. They've got to bring Take That and Spice Girls. Pop acts in Britain are usually more talented that their american counterparts, as they can actually sing.

I've passed this bridge a lot. It collapsed a few years back, wonder why it's in bad form already. Obviously not repaired well. There should be a LASTMA/KAI official there to direct traffic and stop it for pedestrians and stop usage of the bridge. Nigerians can also use their brains and stop using it, get to Ibalex or the next busstop and use it. A hassle, but better be safe than sorry.

Let's revive this thread!

Well, my cousin's dad was like this, he only dropped money when he wanted to eat something special. He worked in govt, and his wife was a teacher, yet even down to school-fees and household bills, he would divide it in half and tell his wife to pay her share, even when they seized his wife's salary for months. She would pay all the bills, support her kids and feed them, then the man would bring bushmeat home and tell her to prepare soup for him and woe betide the person who finished the soup except him, then off he'd go to have beer with awon boys. Once when teachers were on strike, he refused to pay for my cousin's schoolfees, because he said their mum had not contributed their share, so her friends chipped in and paid for her. My cousin's mum said he had been that stingy from the get-go and made her pay for half their wedding, but she was too blinded by love to see what he was.

I don't think 70% of the marriages I see now make any sense. I've lived with my brother, he dropped house-keeping money and paid the bills. I made sure the money lasted for a month and anything else I wanted to eat, I bought myself. It trained me to learn housekeeping, and fending for my family and I still saved money on a low income (yet my family is wealthy). Those are the traits one should look for in a wife: a woman who loves you and when the chips are down, will buckle up and support you, and you do the same. A woman that if you said you wanted to leave your oil-coy job and become a teacher, she'll hala, but when you tell her it's because of stress, she'll help you look for a less-stressful job and tell you "we'll manage till you get back on your feet". There are ladies like that, but guys don't wife them, they're not "exciting" or they're not aggressive and men stupidly assume that because she's quiet, she's a dodoyo.

Imagine if I chase one so-called "made boy" or one idiot who is attracted to me for all the wrong reasons, marries me, then we fight. Na that day we go see our true colours. All this disgracing of man in their marriage by wife, let the man be honest, there was one very sweet girl that played mugu for him and loved him die when he was single, but he rejected her because she's not "fine, exciting, hawt, does not bleeps well, he is bored, she is not his status, she's too emotional, there's a younger hawter chick around the corner, she no fit his swag, he just wanted to chop her punny and clean mouth" or another daft reason I continually see on the Romance section. Not pausing to think ONCE that this girl is supporting him so well he cannot even see it. They now dumped her and happily went for the sugar that will run their belle. Then 5 years later, they come to the Family section with opened eyes. That train is never late.

Mschewwwwwww.

Let's get every major blogger to carry this story and follow up, make it trend on twitter, let the international community carry this story. Because that's the only way justice will be served, as nigerians are like children, they only behave when everyone is watching them. Start with Linda Ikeji.

At OP, I dated this guy. Still painful to think about it. After all the complaints, and trying to pls him, he left happily to look for another victim.

Nah, OP copied this. And it's certainly not poetry, lacks the basic rules of poetry. However, it is very true. I've been a victim to this kind of guy. The last line should read

"And then he will break up with you, relieved that he's done damage, and move onto a fresh victim. You'll cry and one day, when you wonder what you saw in him anyway, he'll attempt to return. So he can try break you again".

engrtee: God ask prophet jeremiah to marry a harlot.

God intentionaly uses d gud to mix wit d bad so dat d gud can influence the bad ways and d bad can change to gud

In that case, you must be definitely marrying an ashawo from VI. Praises be! You're not? Mschewww.

God doesn't punish you or doesn't make a good person marry a bad person. God told Jeremiah to marry a harlot because it was His plan, He didn't tell the other guys who have married harlots to do so. He does things according to His will, not because He's trying to "mix good and bad".
You can marry a good girl, very easy, especially if you're a player. You can't make a good girl happy in marriage (personal testimony here). If you like marry the Virgin Mary, but don't be as good as Joseph, yet expect the same outcome. You can scheme and manipulate to marry a rich guy, but there's no guarantee that you're what will satisfy him.
The test of a relationship isn't making it to the altar, it's what you do for the next 30 yrs after the altar.

@ brokoto: maybe so, but Pavarotti might be the last of the great tenors in this generation. And he came at a time when everyone sounded great due to technology. Corelli and Manon, Callas and co had to fill a theatre with their voices. They still get my respect.

Most of th popular composers are from the Baroque era. Try and listen to other stuff, in our time, the film score composers (Zimmerman, John Williams, Ennicone, Vangelis, John Murphy) are doing a great job.

Any love here for Tchaikovsky?

J.S. Bach, because that man' music is like rock music: awesome. And for Tenors, go back to Franco Corelli. He made Pavarotti sound like an italian gondolier singer, compare their versions of "Nessum Dorma". I like Hayley Westenra, she has perfect pitch and stunning control. Has anyone ever heard Vaugh-Williams "Fantasia on Greensleeves" and Mascagni "Intermezzo, Cavalleria Rusticana"? Beautiful and haunting.

Rocktation: Hmmn, good point. It kind of takes things deeper though. It makes it seem as though life in its entirety, must be based on manipulation. I mean, who does anything like tells stories about themselves, without anticipating (subconsciously or not) a reaction/end effect to/of it...be it good or even bad? I get where you're coming from yeah, but you implied so yourself; the remaining 30percent of cards played right cases you know, account for exceptions.

You can be yourself, and that man/woman will love and appreciate you. There's this thought going round now that a person isn't off-bounds as long as he/she isn't married, ie go for what you want at all costs. Or there's a rival and you "step up" your game to win him/her. Be honest, if you hadn't pulled out the stops, that man/woman would have walked past you. That alone should tell you to back off. And here's the sad part: you sold them a false note, so once the ring is on, be prepared to keep acting like that, or else. In all the playing cards right situation, it was the manipulator who was the one who came to meet me to confess their regret. For the 30% it seemingly worked well for, I'll hazard a guess: one of the couple was being honest and understood the other. God is Love and last I checked, He didn't manipulate you to win your eternal love and obedience, so why are we doing it? If you are so willing to fight for something that should be free, doesn't that show that's not free for YOU therefore, it's not yours?

Nah, an unplanned good move is not playing. It just happened and gave great results. A guy listens to me talk and realises my goals, and likes are his, he falls for me, totally unplanned. A guy meets me and I say "I love footie" because he's wearing gear, cards playing. The example I cited above, the gf used to cry and swear on her virginity, and declare she loved the boy. They had not met in real life, it was an internet rel. When they met, she got into her bf's email account and checked on him. The guy went from making jokes abt the situation to marrying her. That's playing your cards right. Having a strategy to marry someone is wrong. Because it means the person wasn't yours, so you had to pull tricks to get him. Which is why all those books that advise women to play hard to get, think like a man, blah blah are great for catching the man. They suddenly stop working once he's caught and the marriage has to be sustained. Because that advice works for catching men who, left to themselves, wouldn't notice you, because he wasn't yours in the first place. If he was, you being yourself would keep him with you.
An aunt gave me advise "don't talk too much, you don't wanna sound too smart and like a talkative, let the guy talk more, you can reveal that after marriage." I kept quiet, because my cousin had taken her advice and sweetly smiled her way into an 8-months courtship and marriage with a Big Boy. Who 3 yrs later, is complaining that he never knew my cousin had a temper. Yup, he's cheating. I keep advising my male friends "don't marry any girl until you've pissed her off more than 5 times".