₦airaland Forum

“Deliver your church from evil and increase your church.”

That was the last words Pastor Pius prayed that morning. He was deeply bothered. He wasn’t himself lately as he was searching deeply for solutions. Day and night he prayed. He even fasted but he was yet to see the changes he desired. All his mates that started together with him had overtaken him. How did it began!

13 years back, after graduating from the university. Pius was a fervent Christian with a rugged faith. After his NYSC, he rented a small hall and started his church closed to hs house. After all that years, the church was not growing. The hall he rented 13 years back with a capacity of 70 people that was the same hall he was still using. With faithful members of about 45. Few of his friends who were in the same campus fellowship with him back in school. Some who became pastors had overtaken him. Two of them who had churches some few kilometers close to him are doing well with mighty auditorium and large crowd. Infact, their churches were the happening place in town. Many miracles nd signs and wonders happen there. When Pastor Pius’s church has a program, nobody notices. But if Pastor Makun, one of the churches close to Pius has one, “come and see people.” Infact pastor Pius’s church environment would be turned to a parking space just for the program.

Pastor makun drives extravagant cars, lives the life of the wealthy. “He has forgotten me who was the student fellowship President back in school,” pastor Pius would say. Pastor Pius would swallow his pride and invite Makun to his small church sometimes for a program. Makun won’t even come. What do you expect from a wealthy man of God like him! He doesn’t minister in such small churches or even mingle with those kind of pastors. Each Time Pius tries to have an audience with Makun, it proves impossible. Too many protocols and even security preventions. Sometimes, Man of God has travelled abroad. Pius just wants to see him, maybe his church’s problem is deeply spiritual which needs a higher anointing and grace.

As pastor Pius prayed that God should save him and his church. After the prayers that morning and left for church. He got a letter from Pastor Makun’s church inviting him for a two day ministers conference taking place in his church. At first Pastor pius had made up his mind not to attend but as time went on, he changed his mind. Maybe that would create an opportunity to meet with the man of God in charge, Pastor Makun.

The first day of the Ministers conference came, Pastor Pius prepared and went. Many ministers from in and out of the town came. Even popular pastors in the country came. Infact Pastor Pius saw some of their classmates in university who are now pastors. They are doing amazing well. After the church program for the day, he struggled to see if Pastor Makun, but it proved abortive. One of his aides told him to write a letter and wait for response before he can see makun. Well, Pastor Pius encouraged himself. Maybe because he wasn’t popular so nobody knows him. Many pastors who came are rich. Some of their cars parked outside, words cannot describe it. Some even came with convoy. The refreshment provided at the conference sef, it was poor and wretched pastors like himself took it. The rich pastors didn’t bother if such a food exist. They left them for the host. But pastors who hasn’t eaten such a food in a while, one need to see the way they were gobbling the food into their mouth.

I got home and refused to give up on seeing Pastor Makun. The next day I prepared myself and went to the conference. It was the final day of the conference. I made sure I came early enough and dressed like a wealthy Pastor. With my traditional regalia (Agbada). I didn’t come with a car. One of the ushers who I perceived didn’t recognized me ushered me to the front seat. I was even one of the pastors that came early.

After the day’s conference. That was the opportunity Pius have to meet pastor Makun. As he was about coming down from the alter, going to the left hand side. He guessed he was going to greet one of a popular Nigerian pastor like himself. Pastor Pius stood up immediately with his agbada flowing like a wealthy politician and walked towards the direction. As he walked up to them, he greeted them fairly. Ofcourse many pastors wants to have an audience with them when he looked around, pastors are waiting. “Pastor, I will like to see you sir,” he said to Pastor makun. He said I should give him a moment to finish conversation with the pastor. The pastor he was talking with turned to me. “You only want to see him, how about me,” he said jokingly. Pastor Pius told him he wouldn’t mind too having a word with him. They laughed as he tried to excused the pastors to talk. The other pastor asked him his name and the church he pastors. Ofcourse Pastor pius doesn’t need to ask the man of God who he is. He is a well-known man of God in the country. Before he knew what was happening, they started a great conversation. Pastor Pius was excited in his heart that he had gotten the attention of of two senior pastors and great men of God in Nigeria.

Pius didn’t hesitate to tell them his problems, what has being going on in his church. Pastor makun asked him to go and asked one his aides to give Pastor pius his number so they can have a meeting.

Pastor Pius tried as he could to get intouch with Pastor makun after the conference. After about 3 weeks of shifting their meetings, Pastor makun finally asked Pastor Pius to come see him.

Pastor makun and Pastor Pius finally met. Pastor Pius was expecting him to give him a date he would come to his church and conduct hot prayers that would break all the yokes of that is tieng his church down. But that was not so. Pastor makun told Pius to meet one of his pastors. He will tell him what to do if he was willing to do it. Pastor Pius met the pastor. He received the shock of his life what he told him. At first he played a mind game on him and asked he was willing to. Guessed Pius thought it was just fasting and prayers. But it was beyond that. He told him plainly that if he was to get the power of healing, he would go to cairo, Egypt. He called the place for him. Well, that was not the first time he was hearing about a place in cairo were some prominent men of God get their powers.

When he got back home and thought about everything that he was told by Pastor makun’s aide. He wondered that that was where he gets the power to do miracles. He thought about it for two weeks, consulted with pastor friends and majority of them told him to take a shot at it.

He calculated the cost of going to cairo, Egypt. All the expenses were N700,000. Now were would he get the money! most of his church members are not rich. But he had to lie to them that he was going to Egypt to minister in a popular church. That was how he was able to raise the money. It took him 7 months to raise the complete money and he finally travelled to cairo to the Shrine he was referred to.

The day came. So the people at the shrine told him what to do. They opened a room and asked him to enter. And something will come out of the wall. He should take the thing and swallow. He entered and they locked the door. Pius was a little beat afraid and skeptical of what would happen, what would come out of the wall. They were lights in the room. Windows were closed. “hope they won’t send something to come and kill him,” he thought to himself. As he stood there, he turned to his left hand side and saw a tiny small snake coming out of the wall. Shocked at what he saw. Does it mean that those people mean he should swallow the snake! As the snake crawled out, turning to him, it looked as if it was looking at him. Immediately, out of fear, Pius ran outside. He told them outside he can’t swallow that snake.

The people of the shrine told him he was going back inside because that was the only way he could get the power he requested for. They opened the door and pushed him inside again. The snake that crawled out that second time was slightly bigger than the first time. Chaiiii, Pastor pius looked at it again and couldn’t swallow it. He ran out of the room. With anger, the owners of the shrine were losing patience with what the man of God was doing. And they have thousands of customers from around the world whom they are keeping in wait. They pushed him inside and told him that the snake that would come out that time would be bigger than the second time. And if he doesn’t swallow it, it will swallow him. They locked the door from outside.

The moment came and it happened. I very mighty snake crawled out of the wall. With the way the thing was crawling out, the mouth and how it was moving towards his direction. Indeed, he can’t swallow that. That thing can swallow him. Immediately, Pastor Pius went on his knees and began to pray. He asked God to forgive him. As he prayed, the snake fell off the wall and died on the spot. The owners of the shrine had noticed what has happened. They opened the door and met the man of God on his knees praying. They beat and bundled him out of the building. Pastor Pius was amazed. He wondered.

“So he had that kind of power that he prayed and a demonic snake died. And he never knew, but came to Cairo looking for power.” That were part of his words as he confessed and narrated his story to his church congregation. He asked them to forgive him for lying to them that he was going to Egypt to pray.

Today, Pastor Pius is doing amazingly well in his ministry.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/943-pastor-pius-and-the-hand-of-god

There is what people don't realise. Not after the wedding, i will go begging. Marriage is beyond wedding. What happened that day was wedding and after that day was Marriage.

I have always been a good Christian. To me my faith permits marriage but I can’t just marry anybody. At 35, marriage was already on my mind. I need it, my body needs it. I have abstained from sex for too long. I had to do something before I fall into the evil hands of the sons of Lucifer. Even though my finances were a little bit low I prayed fervently to God to give me the right person.

Two weeks later I was returning from evangelism, I saw a very beautiful young lady preaching to some group of young menu in the neighbourhood. I decided to come closer to listen to her message very well. I began enjoying her message, she was so fluent. Her beauty didn’t attract me as such, what attracted me the most was her charisma and the way she preached. I decided to sit on one of the empty chairs at the back. After the message, I approached her, we exchanged pleasantries and introduced ourselves, I requested that I should walk her home and she agreed. We chatted and talked as I walked her home. I got to her house and we spent over 2 hours talking. I really enjoyed her company that I requested if we could do a joint evangelism together, she agreed.

As we go to evangelism together we became closer and fond of each other. I was not comfortable with our relationship as just friends. I wanted us to move to the next level.

Behold it happened. I asked her to marry me. She appreciated my courage but asked for little patience for her to go and pray to God about it. On my mind I was very sure that she is the right one for me.

A month later as we were going to visit some of our new converts, she broke the news to me. That she has agreed to marry me. I was just so happy about the good news.

We courted for about 6 months and started the preparations for the traditional rites. It proved a little difficult when we (me and my family) went to see her parents.

They insisted that all the drinks we must bring will be alcohol (ogogoro, sepe), because they are from isoko in Delta state. Isokos love taking alcohol a lot. I totally refused buying any alcohol because it’s outside my faith.

I gave them my own option of what I will do. I told them I can’t buy them alcohol, I will rather give them the money so they can make do with anyhow they like. They refused my offer, they still insisted that I must buy the alcohol if I must marry their daughter. I myself refused too, I told them that in fact I wasn’t interested in the marriage any more if I have to buy alcohol for them. Later on they called me back after 3 months. They said they don’t want anything to stand on their daughter’s way of happiness. They accepted my offer to take the money, and the traditional rites were completed.

We started planning our wedding immediately after the traditional rites, I didn’t want to waste much time about it. I had wanted it to be a month after the traditional rites. Even though I didn’t have much money for the wedding, I had to make do with the little I have. My “wife to be” had just graduated from the university some few months back. She was yet to get a job. I myself was an NCE holder and a class teacher. I only had about N50,000 in my account. I was determined to carry on with the wedding, to manage the little money I have, I had already told her we wouldn’t borrow or beg. We budgeted N30,000 for that wedding while the other N20,000 will be for our upkeep after the wedding while I wait for the result of the interview I did which I believe and sure I would pass very well because they had informed me that before the end of the month they would call me back for the appointment. It is a good, well-paying job. Not forgetting that my fiancé will look for job too to reduce the responsibility on me.

I was so sure that we would have much guests, even unwanted guests too, because it’s a village. I told fiancé is either we give them biscuits and drinks or rice and fish with water as refreshment. We had to cut our coat according to our material.

On the wedding day, our guess was actually right because we had over 700 people as guests including uninvited once. The whole reception hall was packed full. The wedding vows were taking in a scanty church. But the reception! It was a massive turnout.

We made a very beautiful small cake worth N2000, though we didn’t share it because it will not get to everybody. We kept it for just the traditional “Cutting of the cake.” After cutting it, our helpers took it away. Thank God we made use of rice and fresh fish, the people sharing just had to manage it little by little so it could get to everybody. It was 2 bags of rice.

We made available about 7 drums of water. After eating you take water. No drinks or meat were provided. Infact we didn’t have high table and chairman of the occasion.

Finally am happy I was married to the love of my life and the wedding was successful. To those who spent or are spending big budgets for wedding/marriage, borrowing for people to be impressed, at the end of the day all of us have one thing in common! Which is, “We all got married.”

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/978-my-wedding-story-how-we-met-and-did-our-wedding-with-just-little-money-we-had

In February 2008, Pius and the landlord had a quarrel. Barely 2 months of the incident, Pius lost his new wife. He had married the woman in November 2007. Now he’s lost her in April 2008. Nobody could understand what was happening to Pius. Everyone was accusing the landlord. Pius threatened to go to a deity, Alusi Okuna that the landlord was the one doing evil to him. The landlord agreed for them to go to Alusi Okuna.

Well I didn’t know what happened because I went into the university. But I could remember when I came back from school in late 2009, my mum was telling me that pius was very ill and he was taken to the village. She said his condition was so bad that she started cursing the landlord to leave pius alone.

I saw pius again after five months he was taken to the village for treatment. “Thank God he didn’t die,” So many said. Pius looked healthy. Not until 2012. The strange ailment came back again. These one was worse. His mouth was full of sores. His head swollen like a balloon. Pius was in pains. He was taken to one shrine. We got the shock of our live before he died. My dad said pius confessed that he was part of the people that killed and collected mama ebuka’s money in 2001. He said they didn’t want to kill her but because she recognized him, that was why she was killed to cover up. So it was the Deity, Alusi Okuna that Papa ebuka went, the problems pius was having was as result of Alusi Okuna. It was the revenge. He wasn’t the only one. All of them that killed mama ebuka, Alusi okuna didn’t spare any. It killed all.

Pius properties had been locked up in the house and his car abandoned. According to papa ebuka, he said he couldn’t wait for God to judge because He is too mercy and late. He had to go to Alusi Okuna which the repercussions are fast. He told Alusi Okuna to strike all those that killed his wife.

Pius family had to beg Papa ebuka to help so they could go and appease the deity to leave. Without that, they can’t touch the late man’s properties because the deity strikes anything connected to its enemy including properties.

When the church discovered, Papa ebuka was later stripped of his knighthood in his Anglican church for participating deity service.

Papa ebuka wanted fast judgment and he got it.
http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/975-true-story-the-revenge-of-alusi-okuna

Mama ebuka and my mum were great friends. I still remember vividly when she showed interest in packing into our compound. Then someone just packed out of the flat opposite ours. She approached my mum to help facilitate the deal for our landlord to give she and her family the apartment. My mum talked with the landlord and he agreed. the landlord asked them to pay. Mama ebuka said she doesn’t have up to the amount the landlord demanded. She asked my mum to borrow her N31,000, that when she collects her money from the cooperative society she was, she would pay. Imagine N31,000 at that time. Such a huge amount of money and what it will do for you if you have it. my mum gave her the money expecting that by the end of the year, mama ebuka would give her the money.

End of the year, December 17 came. It was the day mama ebuka would collect her year’s savings from the cooperative group she was. I knew about it because my mum told my elder sister. She was part of the cooperative group. My mum asked my elder sister was in Jss 2 to come back early enough so she could stay with me while she and mama ebuka goes to collect their money, their year’s savings, bags of rice and groundnut oil.

That was it till my mum came home in the evening, at about 6:45pm and asked from ebuka if his mum was back. Ebuka said his mum was yet to be back and he was the only one at home. His older siblings went out with their father. My mum said she thought she left the place before her. Maybe she branched to another location. Well, mum left there.

Not until about 9:21pm when most of us in the compound had slept. We were woken up with shouts and wailings from outside. My mum opened the door. She didn’t allow the kids out. She and my dad went outside.

It was the next morning I knew what had happened. The whole compound was full of mourners. Mama ebuka was dead. Previous night, her body was found close to a bush in an area. They said her body was full of cuts people said it was knife or cutlass. Apparently, she was intercepted on her way back home after collecting her money and she was murdered. According to mama ebuka’s husband, he said his wife’s killers knew her very well. “They knew quite well that she was coming back with a huge amount of money. They waited for her. They are enemies within that was why they didn’t just take the money but cut her to death.” All that was his assumption.

Mama ebuka burial. Many cried. One of our neighbors who was a police officer, Pius asked that the incident be investigated. Pius said he was pained by the incident. Himself was part of the cooperative group. Papa ebuka said no need for police handling the matter. Infact, at the burial he announced that the family won’t be going to the police. The police tried their best but he asked them to close the case that the family has decided to take the case to a deity, Alusi Okuna.

All that was in 2001. Whether Papa ebuka went to Alusi Okuna or not, I didn’t bother.

In 2003, my family moved out of the house. We rented an apartment close to our former house. My mum said she doesn’t like the compound again. It brings back bad memories coupled with strange nightmares she was having about the place. Before we packed out of the place, the younger sister of pius who was staying with him died in that house.

Late 2003, Pius got married and his wife gave birth to a girl early 2004. By November 2006, the wife and daughter became sick simultaneously. The sickness was so severe that by January 14th 2007, the daughter died. And on the 20th, the wife died. It was a big blow to pius. So many people pointed accusing fingers at the landlord because he was diabolical with a questionable character in his doing.
http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/975-true-story-the-revenge-of-alusi-okuna

I began my job of evangelism. The first month, I evangelized to over a hundred people but managed to get 5 people to be full members of the church. But I was still paid the N10,000.

As time went on, I discovered that my other colleagues were making more money than me. They go for rich and elites in the city. They convince them to come to the church and make them stay. With that, the church increased their allowance and payment. It became the best strategy that can win new members. Baba God’s chosen church was growing massively with too many rich members. However, I noticed that the church was making huge amount of money but the evidences are not seen on the main pastor, Elder martins. Our church offerings had grown greatly. Tithes has swollen and even seeds sown by many. Yet, elder martins is still maintaining his rented apartment and his Honda accord. No private jet and expensive properties and accessories like some other Nigerian pastors. Well, I guessed he’s trying to leave a humble life like Jesus in the Bible.

The church suddenly bought a land and started building a 65 seater edifice. It was going to be the biggest church in the city and one of the biggest in Nigeria.

I was still receiving my normal N10,000 monthly while my other colleagues in that same evangelism team style, their pay had increased. Friday called me one Friday. He told me that the church may soon dispose some members of the evangelism team because they don’t need their services anymore. He told me I was part of the people to be dropped because I was into the usual style of evangelism, no major strategy. He told me that other people, they don’t only bring rich members, they also make them donate. Infact some who are not ready to join, “Baba God’s chosen church,” some evangelism members make them pay huge amount of money to the church. I asked Friday how the other members were doing it. He said to me that some members of the evangelism team would go out to meet rich fellows, and tells them they had vision about them about evil ahead. They would invite them for prayers to meet the prayer warriors who will further tell them to sow seed before meeting Elder martins. Some of them would go as far as possible to go and investigate their prey’s family, get to know their problems before approaching them.

As Friday was explaining, it looked as if my ears were hearing double of what he was saying. Chaiiii, conmen has finally invaded the church. “You can do your own, if not. You no fit chop.” Friday said to me. He said, that is what many Nigerian pastors do. And they even do more. I thought about what Friday had said. But couldn’t imagine myself going to the extreme of giving false prophesies. I wanted to pull out of the church but the temptation was enormous on me. The huge amount of money, the suit allowance. Nna mhen, if you look at the suits that our prayer warriors are beginning to wear, even Friday. My N10,000 salary for 8 months can’t afford it. Even Friday was benefitting from the events. His dressings had changed. The way he talks as if he’s a king, as if he can even see God.

I decided to take a shot at what Friday said. Me and Friday partnered, we created the strategies we would use. That was how it began with me. We would secretly investigate rich and business owners in and out of the city; get to know their problems and I approach them with it that I had a vision concerning them. Then invite them to Baba God’s chosen church for prayers were they would sow seed.

That was how my bank accounts and pockets began to swear. My dressing sef. I became a corperate evangelist.

Baba God’s chosen church had a meeting. They said they want to expand and recruit fresh pastors. They approached brand new and young churches and asked them to close down their churches and join us in Baba God’s chosen church as pastors. Many agreed and few of them refused. But who would not join the Baba God’s chosen church as a minister when the offer comes with a mouthwatering salary and incentives. And they also get fame because the church had made a name in the city.

After recruiting about 15 junior pastors, by then, our 65,000 seater auditorium was ready. And we moved in. Baba God’s chosen church became the happening thing in the country. Every top Government official would always want to worship with us. But if only people who visits the church knows what is going on behind the scenes.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/974-elder-martins-baba-god-s-chosen-church-and-i

“Thank you Lord for this day. Lord trouble my troublers. Many have risen against me. There is no help elsewhere but you. The lifter of my head. For though Oh Lord art my shield, My Glory and the lifter of my head. Thank you for lifting me. Make way for me, direct my footsteps this day. Amen.”

That was my prayer that early morning when I woke up from my sleep that morning. I had finished from Federal Polytechnic, Idah Kogi state two years back. I was done with my NYSC and seriously searching for job, yet have not gotten any. Many who promised me were disappointing. Not even a reasonable job. Its either a sales boy or restaurant that pays N7,500 monthly that I was seeing. I was not ready to take those jobs.

And that was why I prayed that God should lift my head up more than my contemporaries.

As I arranged my house, preparing to go out that day for job hunt. My phone rang. I checked who was that and it was my cousin, Friday who leaves in Kaduna. I was surprised because he doesn’t call me. And his number was just occupying space on my phone. We spoke last 3 years back.

I picked the call and we talked. He said he was a now a pastor and working for their church with a good pay. He asked what I was doing since I finished my service. I told him I was still searching for a job. He said if I will like to work for their church there in Kaduna, I told him I don’t mind. He said I should join him that I was going to enjoy the job and the place, Kaduna. After dropping the call, I was so happy that I have gotten a job in the church. I believed I would be favoured because I am a good Christian. I was happy without knowing the kind of job it was. But I shah was relocating to Kaduna. My mum came back from the market and I told her everything and what my cousin said. Well, She had no choice than to give me her blessings.

The next morning, I left for Kaduna. I arrived Kaduna and met Friday in good condition. He welcomed me so well. He was staying in a one bedroom self-contain. His house was really beautiful with pictures, posters of Jesus Christ dominating his parlor walls. He was indeed a complete bachelor. He has almost every home things a bachelor would. From refrigerator, Home theater, T.V and many things. I didn’t hesitate to ask him where he works that paid off so largely. He brought out a take away pack of food. He said I should eat first and after that, we would discuss. I opened the pack. Indeed God had answered the prayer I prayed the previous day morning. He has lifted up my head. The pack contained fried and jollof rice with 2 chicken laps. I began imagining. Staying with Friday would be fun. So that would be what I would be enjoying. Friday gave me a canned malt to step the food down. Maybe as time goes on, God will further lift me up to be eating full chicken.

After the food, we began discussing. I couldn’t believe what he told me his job was. Because with his house, he was living like a king. He said he only works for their church, “Baba God’s chosen church.” The church has 7 dedicated paid prayer warriors. So their pastor, Elder martins pays them N50,000 monthly just to fast 6am-6pm twice a week and continuous prayers for the church and the pastor. That was their work. As Friday explained, I was just dazzled because I have never seen that kind of church where people are just hired specifically to pray every day. Friday laughed when I said that. He said that means I was not exposed, I should go to places like Lagos, Abuja, Portharcort and many big churches. Some of the prayer warriors that follow some big pastors around are being paid. Their work is just to come to church every day to pray, from 8am-4pm from Mondays to Fridays, then Wednesdays and Thursdays are for fasting, 6am-6pm. Waiting on the lord for the pastor and the church. All that is just for God to sustain the pastor and for a continuous miracle that is happening in the church. And Friday said their church was the happening thing in town.

Well, I wasn’t much interested in his own shah. I want to know where I belong. He said the church is recruiting “evangelism soldiers.” They are recruiting about 20 in which he said he had submitted my name to the church administration. I was very happy when he said he had submitted my name to the church admin. He said, each of the 20 people would be bringing at least 6 people in a month to the church and make them remain. My face changed when he told me would be paid N10,000 each every month for the job. Chaiii, I wasn’t expecting such an amount. And if I can bring rich wealthy people into the church, the church would increase my pay. “Its too small nah,” I said to Friday. He laughed. He told me as time goes on, he would help put me into his own level of prayer warrior. I thought about what Friday said. I could still do another job with this one. And perhaps and Friday’s own was full time and mine is per time.

The next day, we went to their church. Indeed the church was a beautiful sight to behold. Huge building, the biggest in the vicinity. Magnificent alter befitting a new generation church. Friday introduced me to the church admin and the pastor in charge, Elder martins. They told me what to do and how to be going about it. Though I explained to Friday that my major challenge was getting to every area in the city. I was still new to the city. Friday gave me some scope and said he would be giving me transport fair to were ever I would go in the city. But I was so good in evangelism.

I wasn’t quite satisfied with the job. But I had to be doing it for the main time till I get a better job or get an upgrade in the church as a paid prayer warrior.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/974-elder-martins-baba-god-s-chosen-church-and-i

As I and mercy was still discussing at their house, one of her friends whom she said graduated from university of Kent in UK joined us. Her name is bellinda. We talked about so many things from politics, sports, entertainment.

After everything, I no wan comot for the house again. how I wish say the place go be my new home. I went to my house. While I was leaving, “Prepare my chicken and goodies oo because am coming to your house on Christmas day ooo,” mercy said. “No problem,” I said to her. But there is problem oo. Wetin I go give her that day! I had spent all my money in my final year and I don’t have any. I am still looking for a job for the main time before going for NYSC. Many firms I went to said I should come January, by then, there would by vacancy. Now wey I no get job, no money. Na mumsy dey give me money for church offering sef.

The N3,500 wey dey my account, I wan use am buy better chicken for my family. At least make we chop for Christmas. Rice don dey. Mercy is nice and awesome and I want to reciprocate her kind gestures, but I no come get money much. Na zobo drink my wum dey plan to make for visitors wey wan come visit us. No money. I made up my mind, I can only give them what I have. If na the zobo, I will give to her.

On Christmas day afternoon, mercy sent me a message on BBM that she was at the gate of their house waiting. I came out of the house and saw she and bellindah. They came towards my house and to my door steps. I never had butterflies inside my stomach. At least I passed through the four walls of university, which had thought me confidence, morals. I don’t have a low self-esteem. We don’t have as much that Christmas, I had decided to give them what I have.

They came into my house. “You have a beautiful place here,” mercy said. I thanked her for the compliment even though there house was better, which I told her. She laughed. As mercy was laughing, I noticed bellindah wasn’t saying anything. She was busy staring at the walls, photos in my house. The way she was looking at them, the weird looks of “yimu” on her face that I felt she was mocking me and my house. As if it wasn’t befitting to the rich man’s eyes. Me no even send her look. I no fit kill myself. The way wey the girl bellindah just dey do her nose as if say my house dey smell. The house wey I sweep dey prepare for the christmas. I used one whole new air freshener for the whole parlor for it to smell nice. I just ignored bellindah’s attitude. If e too smell, make she comot for my house go hug transformer wey dey outside.

They sat down and we began talking. Mercy sat and was very free. Still, bellindah was still on her weird uncomfortable attitude. Sometime she would hiss, another time she would just be adjusting her skirts. Mercy asked her what was wrong with her, she said she will soon be leaving. I asked if she wasn’t enjoying the conversation or the company. She just hissed and said she was. Within me, I feel the girl bellindah is just one head of a demon that is spoiling the atmosphere. It was embarrassing to me.

Well, as bellindah was given the attitude, I felt she wanted to go, I stood up and went to the freezer and brought out a jug full of zobo drink my mum prepared. I brought 2 big fried fish, all tales with it. The zobo sef no too cold because light no too dey. Na wetin I get na im I bring. Chaii, immediately I drop the package for table, see as Bellindah come dey do. “What’s this,” bellindah asked. I told them it was zobo drink. Na so this bellindah girl come squeeze face as if dem stone her nylon bag full of shit. It’s what I have I will give. i learnt she schooled in UK. They are rich. If she is at home, she can eat the expensive things and drink the assorted. This one na my house and wetin I get na im I go give.

Bellindah stood up and said she was leaving. I didn’t bother to ask why or if she didn’t take the zobo drink and my fish. It was mercy that asked her. I don’t know where she said she was going and why she was not going to eat my fish and take my zobo drink. I didn’t even bother to know. I just prayed she should remain there and never come back to my house. Bellindah left.

Mercy took the zobo drink and ate her fish. At first, I thought she wouldn’t like it but she loved the zobo drink. She really enjoyed it. We talked and joked. At a time, she said she wants to go to toilet. Chaii, I come dey fear. Make e no be say the fish and zobo don dey purge this girl. Make dem no come arrest me. I was scared. She stood up and said she was going. I asked if she was purging or just an ordinary stomach ache. She said I should put the remaining zobo into a take away bottle. She wants to take it home. Well, I did as she asked. She thanked me for everything she really seems to have enjoyed every bit of the company, fun and my house. She left.

After 20 minutes she left, I sent her a message on BBM.

“Hi, thanks for the visit, i really appreciate. I believe you enjoyed the drink and fish.”

That was what I sent her. But there was no reply even till 9pm. I called but she wasn’t picking. Fear gripped me. Many thoughts started running through my mind. Hope there was no problem. Hope the purge was just ordinary. Hope say she never land for hospital. She wasn’t picking my calls or replying my messages.

I slept with troubled mind that I had weird dream of Bellindah chasing me with cutlass shouting, “You killed my friend with poisoned zobo.” I didn’t have rest of mind. At around 4:15am the boxing day when I received a reply of the previous day reply of my BBM message. “You have caused commotion in my house,” was her message. Chaii, na so my mind begin beat like pounded yam. I didn’t know what to do. Should I call or not. I was so scared that I had to switch off my phone. Chaii, today wey be boxing day, police go take me learn boxing. Dem go pound like fufu. Dem go beat me like band.

6:30, I couldn’t take it anymore. I brought the remaining zobo leaves that have not been boiled. It was large in a big nylon bag that I took them all outside at the backyard with kerosene and match sticks. I poured kerosene on it. I went inside, and took the remaining zobo drink in the freezer. I threw all of them away. It caused me pain and the police are getting ready to come to my house. I have killed somebody ooo. I went outside to light the match to the zobo leaves when I heard a knock on my house door. My mum shouted my name from her room. She asked me to go check who was at the door. She was awake but I guessed she was yet to be aware of what was happening. I rushed to the door and it was mercy and her older brother. I was surprised and scared. Maybe they have come to take me away. “Why are you not replying my messages,” she asked. “Which message,” I asked. she said I should check my phone. I was scared of what was going on and why she came to my house. I foolishly went to pick up my phone, switched it on and saw her messages where she said she wants more zobo drinks. And that the one I gave her the previous day, her mum and the entire family drank it and they loved it so they want more. She came if there was more remaining so I can give her. Na so I ask myself. na because of zobo drink this girl come my house this early morning. So na im make this girl send me message say commotion dey her house. Because the zobo was delicious and everyone drank it. And I come dey fear sef. Me sef come mumu join am. I immediately started regretting why I threw the zobo drink away. I went to the backyard where I had already poured kerosene untop of the zobo leaves to burn. Chaiiii, I don already pour kerosene untop. I went inside and told mercy and her brother that zobo was no longer available, but I will get my mum to buy and help prepare and will bring it to their house before evening. Na so my family and mercy become close oo. Just through zobo. That is the power of zobo drink. I and mercy became closer. Me wey no sabi prepare the zobo drink, na so I learn am sharp sharp. I learn from my mumsy come go teach mercy and her mama. But them they always prefer the one wey we dey do for our house. they said that one was special with a unique taste. Each time I come visit, if mercy’s mother was around, she will always say, “Hope you brought my zobo.” Na zobo dem take know me for the house now.



Mercy once said if guys were to be proposing with food, she would have fallen for me that Christmas day because I made a very great impression on her. I was different. I didn’t bring the usual chicken, rice or malt and the usual drink people offer. I was different and I brought my own delicacy. I guessed that romantic impression got me an award; Her heart. But wait a minute! Maybe I would do it again in another special way and ask her out.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/970-my-romantic-impression-that-got-me-an-award

I have always been this cool guy to ladies. I don’t like acting desperate or impress any girl.

After a long stay out of town, I finally came back from school and my parents had relocated to another street. Well, it was a pleasure because I don’t want to see old faces in the street. I want to see new faces and make new friends.

I came back home and loved my new area. It’s an area of the rich, even though my parents are not rich. Half of the people staying there are rich. We, Na rent we rent house for there and na one small house wey dem no fence sef. The houses opposite us are duplexes and they easily see what is happening in our compound. Many of those duplexes has relaxation gallery upstairs. Na there many of them go stay for evening come dey see wetin dey happen for another compound from that upstairs. Our house, dem no even fence am. Wetin man go do! And this street is what I describe as “Mind your business.” Everyone is minding his or her own business.

I came out this early morning Saturday to sweep the compound. As I was sweeping, I looked up to the house opposite mine, the gallery, I saw a beautiful young lady. I guessed she was enjoying the morning breeze and watching me sweep. Come see me dey do like Ode immediately I see the girl. The mumu in me came out. na so I come dey look the girl oo. I no sweep again. I come dey look as if say I never see fine girl for my life again. She noticed I was looking at her from where I was, she waved at me. Come see mumu like me. I no fit wave back, responding to her greeting. I was still looking at her before she waved again and shouted “Good morning.” Before I regained consciousness. “ happy weekend,” I greeted and responded. She stood up from the chair she was and walked inside. Chaii, I come dey imagine myself dating her. She was even kind enough greeting. If it were to be other girls, they won’t even bother to look at my face, talk less of speaking to me.

Two days later in the evening, I brought out my plastic chair outside and sat under the Guava tree in my compound. I was there to take the evening breeze. I sat there when the gate of the house opposite mine opened. It was the girl that waved me the other day. She came outside. “This is an opportunity for me,” I thought to myself. It is an opportunity to strike conversation with her, talk and get to know her. She was dressed casually. As I saw her, I stood up, “Hi, good evening” I said to her. “Good morning too,” she responded as I walked towards her. I apologized for not responding to her greetings and wave early enough the other day. “Never mind. I saw your mind was too far,” she said. “I guess it was the too much work, pushing the wheel barrow. So you were tired,” she said again. Chaii, she even see me when I dey struggle they push wheelbarrow when I dey fetch water. Immediately she said that. I come dey swear for the man wey build my house. Every house for the street get water, borehole. Na only us no get. Na only us dem no fence their house. Na only us no get borehole. I come dey stress myself everyday dey push wheel barrow dey fetch water. After fetching, all my muscles will be aching as if I lifted some bags of cements.

“well, that is it,” I said to her. I asked where she was going as I moved closer to her. She said she was just taking an evening walk and maybe get a bread at the other street. “Let me keep you company if you don’t mind,” I said. She didn’t object at all and we walked. I had already forgotten that I had okro soup on the fire. It was the remaining small okro soup remaining and my mum said my dad, she and I would manage it for super at night. I was warming the soup when I went outside for fresh air.

As we walked down the street, I was feeling fly, like a superstar. I won’t I, when the lady am walking with is very beautiful. People were just looking at us as we walked by. She said her name was mercy. I told her mine. We talked about so many things. As we dey talk, my soup dey fire dey burn. Devil don catch me if e burn finish. After about 45minutes of strolling round the street. We came back while she entered their compound. By then, my mum was back and was sited at the veranda. Na so my mama begin para ooo. She said all the soup I kept on the fire had completely burnt and nothing was left. That was when I remembered I had soup on the fire before I followed mercy. Na im be say no food for me for that house that night.

As time went on, I and mercy got more familiar. Not just because they stay opposite mine house, but we became very good friends. I was not intimidated by her family’s wealth.

On the 23rd of December, mercy invited me to their house. That would be the first time of coming into their compound since about one month moving to the street. That day, towards the evening, I knocked at their gate and she came to open the door. Immediately I entered their house, I saw the wonders of God creation. I never knew mercy’s family has a Rolls Royce car. I was only seeing her dad with a Black range rover and her mum with a portable Toyota car. The cars at the garage i saw are up to 7 in number. Indeed mercy’s family is wealthy. How I wish my Dad listened to his grandfather and gone to school, his life, our life wouldn’t have been like that.

As I was admiring the beauty inside their compound, I asked mercy why her parents don’t drive other cars except for the range rover and Toyota. She said they do, maybe I don’t really see them drive other cars. May be I no dey see dem shah. She said the Rolls Royce belongs to her elder brother who is in U.S. He would be coming with his family the next day 24th. That would be the car they would be driving. Na so I come dey imagine if to say my papa go disown me make mercy family adopt me.

We went into their sitting room. The interior décor there is magnificent. She brought a bottle of wine. The wine expensive. She opened it and I took a little and gave the rest to her. She said the wine that has been opened, we would finish it at once, not leaving it. that na money na. Not the N350 wine we buy in our house every Christmas period. The wine was always reserved for visitors for Christmas and New Year. Na so we go dey do the thing small small make e no finish. we go put small for tumbler come give visitors den carry the remaining one go keep for our fridge wey no dey work. Dis one, this girl say we go finish everything there.

After the wine, she brought 2 canned malt and 2 full chicken laps for me. Na so I start to dey devour the things ooo. Though I still remain small for the plate, make e no be say I dey behave like hungry fool come finish everything. I chop only one. I no even finish that one finish. I wanted to ask mercy to tie up the remaining chicken for me so I could take it home. But I coupled myself, doing that would be an embarrassment. Considering it was the first time I was coming there. but poverty na disease shah oo.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/970-my-romantic-impression-that-got-me-an-award

Was it my fault, am I at fault? I did what I did because I felt it was necessary to protect my family and my home. Looking at all that has happened and my husband’s reaction makes me look like a fool. How did it all started? This is how it did.

I got pregnant with my 3rd baby. I and my husband wanted a suitable apartment. The family is becoming bigger and we wanted something befitting. I had to pressurize hubby to get us another apartment. At first hubby objected, but after much pressure from me, he had no choice but to get us a nice and befitting apartment in a highbrough area of the city. I was happy about it, infact I loved him more. I was just 3 months pregnant.

A week before we packed in, Saturday, I went with my junior sister and couple of my male relatives. We went to clean up the house. I could remember that there was an old man at the gate. The way the house was built, the fence was not high. Just 3 feet, then with iron rods like burglary on the top. It’s just like beautiful houses one can find in expensive estates abroad and Nigeria.

Throughout our stay, cleaning the house and outside, the man stood across the gate looking at us. At a time, I began wondering why he was looking at us. At a time when I came to throw water away, still saw him across the gate looking at me. I became scared. He doesn’t look like someone who is insane but with that kind of attitude, he could be considered as one. His dressing was normal but that look he was giving to us was abnormal. At a time when I came out of the house to throw water away, I still saw him. Immediately he saw me, he started smiling. I just threw away the water and ran inside. My sister asked what was happening and I told her it was the same man looking at us. They were laughing. After washing and cleaning up, when we were leaving the compound, we still saw him looking at us till we entered the car and left.

When I got home and narrated the incident to hubby, he just laughed it over. But I wasn’t comfortable with it.

One week later, it was a Saturday, hubby and I took some people to help us out and we packed our things to our new apartment. After we have packed everything and arranged it, we discharged our workers. Hubby asked me to drive our second car which was outside. He said I should drive it inside. Immediately I got outside the house to go to the gate, I saw the man looking at us the other day. He stood close to our car and was looking at my direction. Immediately i saw him, I ran inside and told hubby. He followed me outside. We went there; hubby asked him what he was doing there. He was just smiling and didn’t say anything. “Leave here now,” hubby shouted at him. He never moved an inch. He just stood there. Hubby concluded he was insane. He drove the car inside.

Two days later, I and my junior sister was coming back from the market. I was driving. We got to our street and stopped to get some drugs at a pharmacy shop close to my house. After getting the drugs, we were walking out of the shop, we saw the weird mad man passing by my car I packed. I consider him mad because his attitude is way beyond normal. Immediately he saw us, he stopped and began looking at us. I told my sister I wasn’t going close to the car because I was scared and I don’t like seeing him. My sister began laughing. As she laughed, the weird man began laughing. Fear gripped me. I immediately ran back into the pharmacy store as if he was chasing me. As the store attendant saw me, “madam, what is that,” she said. I couldn’t talk. I was just pointing outside. She went outside and came back laughing. “Is it Pa loko you are running from?” she asked. I didn’t even know who is Pa Loko. I guessed that’s what they call the weird man. She came to me and said I shouldn’t be scared of him. Though he’s mentally unstable but he’s friendly. “Friendly keh,” I thought to myself. Is this woman really joking or she’s serious! How can looking at someone like an idiot means to be friendly! ‘Maybe the woman and the Pa loko are working together,’ I wondered in my mind.

The pharmacy store attendant began telling me about Pa Loko. She said Pa Loko has very beautiful house at the entrance of the street. He’s was very rich. He was formerly a casket maker.

As she narrated, I began wondering. “Hope this Pa Loko didn’t make his money through rituals and it backfired.”

She said a very big and popular Christian organization built a huge shopping complex with stores. The organization rented out stores to people in which Pa Loko was one. Before renting out the shops, they anointed and prayed. They sowed a seed that people or anyone who rents any of the shop, their business, sales would prosper. God answered their prayers. Shop owners, their businesses prospered. The place became huge business hub for many people around the country barely 6 weeks of construction. People came to buy goods there.

Barely 2 months of the grand opening, one of the member of the Christian organization that owned the complex died. What do one expect! The Christian organization had to patronize someone in their complex. Pa loko was the one they went to for casket.

Another 2 months later, another of their member died. Pa loko provided the casket. And it continued. Members died like chicken while they buried them with caskets made by Pa loko. It happened for a year. The Christian organization rose up from a meeting one day, after prayers and fasting. They gave Pa Loko all his rent and asked him to leave. After about a week of dragging the case, with police involvement, Pa loko finally left. Barely 4 months he left, nobody knew what went wrong that he became mentally unstable and began roaming the streets.

That was how the pharmacy shop attendant narrated Pa loko’s story to me. Though I didn’t bother to ask how his family are coping or if he even has. I felt pity for him shah. But who knows what he did that brought the problems on him!

As I left the shop I and my sister, I still saw him standing close to my car. I was almost scared but I remembered what the shop attendant said. She said I shouldn’t be afraid when I see him. I got to my car, brought out N500 from my pulse and gave to him (Pa loko). He didn’t even collect it from me. He was looking at the money as i gave it to him. Well, my sister collected the money from me and dropped it on the ground. We entered the car and drove off.

That night, I had a dream. In that dream, I was pregnant and was ill. I went to the hospital and Pa loko was the Doctor in charge. He took my blood samples for test. He said he would give me an injection and asked if I had eating. I told him I haven’t. He said I should go and eat before he can give me an injection. I checked my pulse to take money, I discovered I couldn’t find the N7,000 I kept inside my pulse. I began searching my bag and Pa loko came in and asked what I was looking for. I told him I couldn’t find the money I kept in my pulse. He dipped his hand inside his pocket and brought out N500 note. Exactly the Naira note I gave to him at the shop. He said I should go and buy roasted yam and eat and come take my injection. Later I can go and look for my money. I collected the money and left to go eat the yam. After eating the yam, I discovered I couldn’t stand up. I couldn’t leave the place. I began farting. As I took my phone to call hubby. Immediately, I woke up from the dream sweating profusely with a loud fart that woke up hubby. I became pressed and I rushed to the toilet to urinate. The unfortunate happened. As I was urinating, blood was coming out of my private area. It was bad that I passed out. I woke up at the hospital with the bad news that I had a miscarriage. I was pained but I took it in bad fate. I told hubby what transpired the day I gave pa loko money and the dream I had which lead to the miscarriage. But it was unfortunate that hubby pushed it aside and never considered it relevant. He didn’t believe Pa loko or the incident has to do with the miscarriage.

After leaving the hospital, two days after the miscarriage. As I went out of my house with the car, I saw Pa loko standing outside the gate laughing. It just looked as if he was mocking me. I just felt like coming down and hitting him. I began to think. What of after hitting him, maybe he will come kill me this time. I began regretting giving him money the day I gave him N500. I began blaming myself for telling hubby to look for that apartment. If I had not packed into that street, all that wouldn’t have happened.

Well, I moved on but our lives never remained the same because it happened again and again. It would first come in the dream, the same dream before the miscarriage would come. And each time after the miscarriage, he (Pa loko) is always the first person I see when going out of the gate. And each time I see him, he will be laughing in a mocking way. Making me feel his hands are not clean. I have reported this issue to hubby, but he doesn’t listen to me. He laughs over it, telling me Pa loko is just an ordinary mad man. For me, his not just an ordinary man. I began feeling he is sane but intentionally faking madness to frustrate people lives. I hate seeing him around or even that street. I had gone to his family and asked them to keep him away from me and my family and I was planning to even go to the police. Hubby was angry at me when he learnt about it. He said I shouldn’t try it again. But what should I do when no one is agreeing with me that Pa loko is diabolical.

The last one that happened, after the usual weird dream, then came the miscarriage. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was sad in my spirit. Pa loko has done it again. Hubby wouldn’t take it again. He was busy consoling me because he wasn’t the one carrying the baby. I began regretting. If I had known I would have even married Charlie. He first proposed to me before turning him down to marry my miserable hubby. If I had married Charlie, I won’t be having this problems. Charlie would have listened to me and do something.’ All that were my thought.

After the last incident, I and my sister were coming back from the hospital. As usual, I saw Pa loko as we drove by. Immediately he saw us, he began laughing as usual. A laugh of mockery. My sister was driving. I told her to stop which she did. I came out of the car. She was asking me what I want to do, I didn’t bother to respond. My mind was made up. I had to do it before Pa loko ruins my life.



As I came down, I went to were pa loko was standing and began slapping and beating him. My sister ran towards me and began holding me but she couldn’t as I picked up a big stick I saw on the ground and began hitting pa loko. With my anger and tears running down my eyes, people starting rushing to the scene. The wondered What must be happening as they held me as an elderly man asked why I was beating a mad man. With tears running down my eyes I narrated my encounter with Pa loko and my miscarriages. It was unfortunate many didn’t believe me. “na Pa loko come dey chop your pikin?” one of them asked. Many believed I shouldn’t have started beating him, beating a mad man, the incident now made me look like a mad woman. As we were arguing and quarrelling about it, hubby drove by. He asked what was happening that was making me cry. I told him. He didn’t even say a word. He went into his car and drove home. You need to see the way people were looking at me. it made me look like a fool and a mad woman. But it wasn’t my fault. I was fighting someone I believed is an enemy. No one is seeing it from my angle. Who will fight for me! hubby believes I was now a mad woman for fighting a mad man in the street. I said I had embarrassed him. but can someone tell him to do something about it. I will soon go spiritual. Pa loko is evil and am still saying it. Hubby, my sister are all blaming me for beating a mad man in the street. It is not my fault.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/967-yet-another-miscarry-who-will-believe-my-story
now nairalanders, what do you think? is this woman to be blamed for beating up a mad woman?

Smoking weed is very dangerous. Weed has numerous names we used in addressing it here in Nigeria. The oyinbo people will call it, “weed or marijuana.” We call it that too. We also call it, “igbo” or ikpokiri or whichever names the smokers used in addressing it.

I could remember my days in Delta state Polytechnic Oghara. Then I was undergoing my National Diploma (ND) and, in my ND1 precisely. I could remember seeing what igbo or weed can do to people. That was when I came to realize it’s not only smoking it that could make you high, (taking you to cloud 9 as people would say), but chewing it, eating food laced with it can also harm.

I remembered that Ibori was the Governor. He (Governor ibori) came to commission some few projects in Polytechnic Oghara were I was studying then. After commissioning the projects, the ceremony ended, the Governor went back to Asaba the state capital. I went back home. When I got home, I met my 2 roommates cooking beans. Our room was very big. Just like a big parlor we see in some Nollywood movies, so it contained three of us. It can even contain 2 more people, only that there would be no much privacy and it may look like a refugee camp. One of them said he wants to add weed into the beans, the other said he shouldn’t try it. As both of them were still arguing and contemplating on whether to add weed to the beans, I sat on the chair looking at them, I didn’t want to say anything to them because I felt it was a waste of time. They can’t put weed into the beans; where would they find it. If only I knew they were not joking, they were damn serious. I was still forming jew while them (my roomie) are neither Jews nor Jentiles. They may decide to be holy today and the next day, they change. I laughed as they argue, I felt they were under the inspiration of hunger, they really had the strength to argue.

After couple of minutes, the beans was still on fire, I left the house and went to check a female friend of mine. I spent about an hour and came back to the house. As I entered the room, I met my 2 roommates and one other guy laid on the floor behaving funny, doing some abnormal things. The other guy was chidi, my roomie’s friend. Chidi was on the floor wanking. I have only seen this kind of scene in movies, where people are high on cocaine. This was the state I saw them in. One of my roomie was just gushing out saliva out of his mouth. On seeing this, fear gripped me. I didn’t know what was going on with them, neither do I know how to help. I ran outside and called the neighbors to come. Barely 3minutes I screamed for help, the whole room was filled with people. Some suggesting that they had gone mad and we should just take them to one babalawo to cure them. Some suggested we leave them at the babalawo’s place. “Dem don mad oo,” one of the visitors screamed. Mad! How manage, people that were normal that I left some minutes ago before I came back. About 3 people said maybe they were reacting to drugs use. One was asking me if they took drug(cocaine, marijuana). Immediately he asked that, I quickly remembered they argued about putting weed inside the beans they were cooking. After all, weed is drug too. I told them it may be the weed they used in cooking because they were arguing about it before I left. After hearing that, one of the neighbors went out, in about 15minutes time, she returned with a nurse. The nurse injected them and they slept off. They woke up the next day evening. Since that day till I finished my ND and left Delta state polytechnic, I never saw them smoking or using weed to cook. Thank God I went out and never tasted the beans. According to them, it was their first time of adding weed to food and, it was someone who suggested they try it.

I later left the house and rented my own apartment. This happened some years back. Now am in Funaab, I never knew how the experience was until this particular day. My friend, Ife took me to see his sister in Pansheke. We got there and his sister was not around. He knows where she normally drops her house keys. He went there, took it and opened the door. We entered. I saw some male clothes on the hanger. I asked ife about the male clothing because he had earlier told me that his sister was not married. He said the clothes belong to her sister’s boyfriend.

He opened one of the pots in the cupboard. “chaiiiii,” he screamed. I asked what was that, he said I should come and see. I came, it was the ogbono soup her sister cooked. She cooked it with kpomo, beef, fish. Those kpomo were so big and enticing. Looking at the face of the soup , one would believe it’s a well-cooked soup. Ife boiled water to make eba. He asked me if I will eat. I told him I won’t;( even though the soup already caught my eyes). After making the eba, he warmed the soup and served himself. He asked me again to come join him. I was still doing shakara. He was still enjoying the food with the big meat and fish while I watched him. After much shakara, I washed my hands and joined him in eating. After I couldn’t kill that appetite in me that time.

Barley 5 minutes we had finished eating, it started. It looked like something came over me. It looked as if I was formerly in captive and the thing unlocked me out of captivity. I began sweating, I began to hear a voice in me. The voice told me to start jumping, I began to jump. The voice told me to go outside and pull my clothes. “Hmmmmm,” this is not normal nah, I said to myself. I turned to ife, the guy was behaving abnormal. He was on the floor beating himself. “Guy I don’t know the way am feeling oo,” I said to him. He didn’t even respond. I was struggling within me, I want to control myself and don’t obey the voice, but it was hard for me. Before I knew what was happening, my guy ife had begun summersaulting in the room. It was just like a child’s play but that was no joke. I knew within me that something was wrong and it wasn’t normal. But I couldn’t help it. It just looked like something was pushing me to do abnormal things but I was struggling to control myself. I pulled my trouser wearing only boxers and my shirt. I ran outside. I saw a very beautiful girl, light in complexion and busty; she was passing by the house. The way the house was built, is that when one comes outside, they get to see shops, and there was a tiled road and people passing by. The house was not fenced so you can imagine when displaying under the inspiration of this substance, people and passersby will be looking at you. Seeing the fine girl passing by, that voice told me to go and grab her breast. Immediately I ran after her. I tapped her shoulder from behind. She turned around looking at me in a weird manner. Thank God she didn’t even slap me because I tapped her so hard, am sure she would feel some pains at her left shoulders.

I became speechless as she turned and faced me, I couldn’t talk. She was staring at me like, “what can I do for you”. The voice was telling me to press her breast. I was struggling to hold myself. “Do you have a pen there,” I asked. “Are you okay at all,” she asked. see me see wahala. I no fit answer again. She looked at me again from head to toe, turned around and walked away. I wondered why she looked at me from head to toe, I looked at myself and discovered I was only wearing boxers and shirt, I wasn’t putting on any slippers, I was on bare foot. The voice told me to go after her. I told myself that this can’t be. I turned back and was walking home. I saw some secondary school girls coming towards me, they were coming back from the school. The voice told me to run towards them, collect the bags they were carrying and runaway. I began to run towards them, as they saw me running towards them, they turned around and ran away too. Some women in their shops there came out and started looking at me, as if there is a new mad man in town. As I saw them looking at me, I ran inside the room. As I entered the room, I met ife shouting on top of his voice. He was singing one don meon song like that. He ran outside too, came back within 3minutes with a loaf of N70 bread. He started eating the bread with ogbono soup in the pot. After he finished, he ran out again. Barely 20 minutes he ran outside, I was still inside wondering what must be wrong with me, a young man dragged ife into the house and locked it. He brought out some thin milk and began pouring it into our mouth. He also brought some liquid bottled drugs and gave it to us, and we slept off, only for us to wake up the next day afternoon Very hungry and tired. I discovered the man was the boyfriend of ife’s sister. I guessed the women with shops outside called him to tell him that there were some guys in their house that are behaving abnormally. I also discovered he was the one who added weed into the soup. What I don’t seem to understand is that; does it mean that ife’s sister and boyfriend takes weed? I didn’t even bother to ask ife or his sister’s boyfriend because, immediately I woke up and heard all his explanations, I wore my clothes and left the house, never to return there again; and since then, I don’t even eat in people’s houses unless I was there and saw them cook the food.

Igbo (Weed) is bad, Please stay off it. Please Note that this story is not the true life story of the author, it was narrated to him while he wrote.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/965-my-wierd-experience-with-weed-igbo-in-school

Looking at all that has transpired in my life. The pain, the trauma that Boko haram has brought on us is this country. And finally, the pain, anger and hatred they made his her mum have for her dad. Late 2012, in the city of Maiduguri was a time and place he would not just forget like that. His mum was pregnant and about to deliver. She was in labour and in great pains. His dad was called up that mum was in labour, that he should hurry up and come over to the state owned hospital. Dad hurriedly left his shop and went to meet mum at the hospital.

On getting to the hospital, mum had already delivered of a lovely baby girl. Dad was so happy. With this baby, the number of children became 3. Dad had earlier promised that after the birth of the child, they would be relocating out of the town to a better place due to the incessant Boko haram attacks. Even though there was no much money, dad chose to save our lives first, it will shield us from dangers of the cankerworms called “boko haram.”

Dad was so happy. He couldn’t hold himself when he came into the ward. He hugged mum so tightly they were so happy. He even promised to get mum a car when we relocate out of the town. The nurses told dad to go get baby wears and other things mum would need. He immediately left the hospital to get what he was asked to get. And the unfortunate happened. Boko boys struck.

When dad came back, he met blood bath at the gate. Boko boys had surrounded the hospital killing the gatemen. They were shooting sporadically in air. While so many were struggling to take cover. Boko boys had already laid a siege on the hospital. According to dad, the way bullets are bumping out of their guns, so many must have been killed inside the hospital. He couldn’t go in. He wondered the fate that must have befell mum. He tried moving to the other side of the hospital, which was fenced he tried to jump the fence to get into the compound to see if he could save his beloved wife and new born baby. He couldn’t. He kept on trying till he was able to get hold of it and jumped in. as he jumped in, he turned only to find a gun pointed at him. It was one of the boko boys. Dad stood their speechless wondering how life would look like for us if he was killed there. He stood like a tree looking at the boko boy with his gun still pointed to dad’s head. Dad was waiting for him to shoot. For about 45seconds both of them were there, it seems the gun refuses to release bullets as the one of others. The boko boy brought down his gun and ran away. Dad was surprised. He looked around in amazement. With heart full of fear, with the bag containing the baby cloths he was carrying, he ran as fast as possible from the place. The boko boys had started setting the hospital buildings on fire. Dad was so afraid, he wondered if mum was still alive. He watched as stray bullets were just flying in air, hitting people as they run trying to find a safe place to keep their lives safe. Dad watched with tears from strolling out of his eyes, as people were running outside a particular ward, some boko boys were already waiting outside with guns. As they run out, boko boys were just shooting them down. Dad had lost hope. At that moment, dad had lost hope about mum, her life and the fate that has befallen her.

The whole buildings were on fire. The boko boys had virtually set the entire hospital on fire. Nobody, not even the security agents were around to stop them. Dad ran as fast as possible towards the building ward mum delivered. With gas fumes, smoke coming out. Against all odds, he managed to pull himself into the room and met the shock of his life. heavy fire was raising women as if it was roasting animal. Tears rolled down his eyes. Could mum be among the women or did she escape? Many thoughts were running on his mind. He tried to push himself in to see if he could save a soul as the screams and shouts become louder. But he couldn’t. He nearly chocked because of the fumes. With sad face dad left the place crying. He moved fast as possible to escape the scene. By then the boko boys had left the hospital. They left the place in chaos, with so many women, man and patients scampering for the safety of their lives. Some mothers who got delivered of babies managed to escape alive with their babies, while those who unfortunate enough left their babies. Some couldn’t even make it alive.

As dad walked out of the gate to a huge crowd. The security officials had already been dispatched. They were taking positions why the fire service had begun work. But he guessed it was too late. Many are dead, hundred are injured and his beloved wife was yet to be found. Maybe she was still alive or dead. The security officials told dad to go home and allow them do their job, that they would pull the casualties together and get back to him. Dad refused, he insist he was staying back to see the dead bodies and know if indeed his beloved wife was among them. But the officials blocked the scene. Dad waited till he got tired and encouraged himself and went back home just as the officials earlier asked him to. Dad got home to a great surprise. He met mum at home with his new born baby. ‘how, when?’ it was a huge surprise to him. It was a huge miracle. According to mum, she said immediately the boko boys came in and shooting. She was taking her bath. One of the nurse was the one who came and told them to run for their lives. Before she could even finish the talk, she had already been shot. Fortunately, he was still in the bathroom and was hearing sounds of Gunshots. The only she was thinking was her baby. The guys had gone out of the ward, she came out of the bathroom. Every women in the ward have been shot dead. But fortunately her baby was alive. She took her baby and stayed there praying that God should protect her and the baby. And finally when the security officers started coming in, they helped her out and led her home. I guessed dad was at another direction when they led her out, that was why he didn’t see her.



We celebrated, rejoiced that all was over. But it wasn’t. They came back again that night. It was deadly. They have succeeded in getting hold of Maiduguri. The whole street was burning. They shot sporadically, killing like no body’s business. Immediately they came into our own compound. My dad took us into the room and asked us to lie down and remain calm. We did but the baby couldn’t. He asked my mum to make the baby sleep or calm so the boko boys won’t hear the cry and come and kill us. Mum tried but the baby’s cy was becoming louder. It resulted into a slight argument between my parents as dad was still insisting that mum should make the baby shut up. Mum said she was trying but babies would remain babies. They are not like adults that would listen. And the sound of shouts and gunshots are making the baby restless. Dad couldn’t reason with mum about it. He immediately took the baby from mum and strangled her. After the incident, our lives in that family never remained the same. Though the boko haram members left the place. Thank God we were unhurt because if not for what my dad did, the cry of the baby would have attracted the insurgents and they would come to kill us all. My dad strangled my baby sister to save us all. But my mum wasn’t happy with it. Till today, she still reminds dad he’s a murderer. He killed his daughter. She blames dad for almost every misfortunes in the family. That day they struck was the last time I have experienced their wickedness.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/961-the-last-time-i-saw-them-struck

Some of u ar asking for her Twitter handle. Una wan follow the girl. I pity una. As am talking to una now, She has sent a text to my friend threatning him. I dont know how She Got his number. But we must defeat her.

Sankabson:
Whewww! Nice Story,Nice Concept!! But I took my time to finished your story with summary. Congratulations!! This what I have to tell You Bruh! You not free Yet bruh..She's still coming back for you with a full force. Locate her first and beg her before she........

come back! Thats what a friend said. I will prepare for her

I was at the function with my boss when I brought out my phone and checked twitter. This girl don already update her status for twitter. “Oh dear, am purging, God save me,” was what she wrote. Trust guys na, many people don dey tweet back dey offer advice. I tweeted at her, “leave my house before I get home.” She retweeted the tweet. One girl come ask her who I be. “never mind him, he’s the son of the fish seller that poisoned my fish, making me purge.” Chaii, see insult. Na wetin she tell them say I be. Come see as people they abuse me for twitter. I ignored her.

After the day’s work, I went home. I met another shock. Everywhere in the house were well swept and clean as if nothing happened some hours ago. I saw her in my bedroom. No matter what, I still want her out of my house. I asked her to leave. She begged me. she went on her knees begging but I didn’t care. Well, she agreed to leave but asked to leave the next day. I be no gree but the beg come too much and I agreed.

In the night, we didn’t sleep in the same room. The next morning when I woke up, I went to the guest room to check her. The room was locked from inside. I knocked multiple times and there was no response. Make una come see me see wahala ooo. She no wan open door. I called her name and no response. I became scared. Many thoughts began to run through my mind. Maybe she’s dead, or maybe she has turn to a big snake and if I should enter, she may swallow me. As I was thinking about that, another thought came into my mind. Maybe she and her witchcraft group are performing rituals. Na so I call my friend, joe that morning. He arrived. He brought olive oil with him. We began breaking the door. We broke it open and found her lying on the bed like a sleeping angel. But she wasn’t breaking. “God don catch me,” I thought to myself. We began hitting her but she didn’t wake up. We poured her water but no response. How would I explain this situation! That a girl that visited me died in my house. who will believe my own side of the story. Joe asked if I gave her anything to eat, but I told her I didn’t. We tried reviving her but couldn’t. Joe suggested we report to the police first before taking her to the hospital. But I told her that would be deadly. “Maybe she be imere,” joe said. I don’t know if I should shout for my neighbors to come help. Which kind sleep be this one wey person sleep, she no dey breath. She was not responding. joe said I should wait that he has a doctor friend. He called her. As we were waiting for her to come, both us began to pray.

30minutes later still waiting for the Doctor. I was full of fear. As we were walking around the room praying, we heard her laughing. Na so we open eye see her they look us they laugh. “What are you people doing,” she said. I couldn’t talk. I was speechless. I no even fit go meet her sef. Na joe go meet her come touch her. He asked her what went wrong. “I was sleeping nah. And you people poured me water,” she said. wetin we for do! Make we for pour her hot fire abi! I asked if she was okay. She said she was alright. I come dey fear to tell her to pack her things leave. I fit tell her to pack her things and leave, she go come enter coma wey she no go wake again.

That morning, she took her bath, packed her things and left. I was so happy that I was free. I went to work late. I was at my place of work when my colleague called that someone was downstairs looking for me. I went down and it was the girl. She said she wasn’t going again and that she was back. “Back for what. Not in my house,” I said. ahe laughed and said she wasn’t going anywhere and I should give her my key. Chaii, na dis one I come enter! Before I knew what was happening, this girl began to make a scene there. I was scared and afraid but wasn’t ready to give my key nor allow her into my house because I don’t want any wahala. my colleagues came out to know what was happening. She told them that she was a prostitute and that I slept with her and refused paying. As we were arguing, my boss came down and called the security to throw us outside. People started telling me to pay her but I refused. Many didn’t believe my own side of the story. My boss came out and asked me to pay, but I refused. I no fit pay. She lied against me. she refused to leave and was still making a scene which was becoming embarrassing for our office. One of my colleagues brought out N17,000 and gave to her and she left. Na so my quarry come increase for office. I don’t know whether to laugh that I was free from this strange girl I met on twitter or to cry that I was at the verge of losing my job.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/959-the-strange-girl-i-met-on-twitter

Two weeks later on this Thursday evening, I just returned back from work, I was watching channel enjoying my music, a bottle of canned malt and popcorn. I heard a knock on my door, I opened the door and behold it was this strange girl. In my mind I was like “ I thought our business is finished.’ Na wetin she come dey find for my house again chineke zopu ta kwa nnwai oooo, Baba God deliver your pikin ooo. She was carrying a big travelling bag as if she was going to visit her sugar daddy. I asked her what the problem was, and she said I should just allow her to come in first. She came in with her bags and sat down. In my mind I was thinking, ‘hope she is not using scope for me. To come and start staying with me. She sat down and started telling me cock and bull story. How she came for a seminar and she was short of cash and her hotel fees got expired and she had no place to go to in this city. See me see wahala oooo. You are going for a seminar and you didn’t prepare yourself, she just came empty handed believing that God has already provided angel like me that she will stay in my house. She said she will like to stay with me till Saturday when the seminar would finish. I agreed and I took her to the guest room. She said why can’t I allow her to stay in the same room with me. I told her she was just a guest. She screamed, “a guest”. But what is she, landlord or caretaker! She be guest,’ I said on my mind. I didn’t bother to reply to any other things she was saying, I took her bags and baggage to the guest room and went to the parlor to continue my movie. She took her bath and later joined me. Before she joined me, I had a rethink about my attitude because I shouldn’t even treat her that way. Come to think of it, I didn’t even have any company who will keep me warm for the two days she would be staying; she will definitely make a great company considering that she’s beautiful and has the right shape. Even though I told myself I was going to eat the apple once those few weeks ago. ‘I could still taste it again,’ I thought to myself. I decided to make it right for her to allow me taste the apple.

When she joined me, I apologized for being rude to her when she first came in. I gave her some excuses that my boss annoyed me that was why my mood was like that. I talked and begged, for a moment her face changed and she smiled. She actually bought the lies and the excuses I gave. I also asked her to pack her bags and move into my room.

The next day she had already woken up before me, she had already washed some of my dirty clothes, even when I didn’t ask her. When I woke up I went to the toilet to urinate. I found out that the bathroom and the toilet were looking cleaner. All the dirty dishes I used for days that I dumped in the kitchen, she washed them all. I went to the sitting room, you need to see the way she crossed her legs on my chair as if she was the owner. She was watching African Magic channel. I went to her and thanked her for the work she did. At least she saved me some little energy even though she was sitting like chiefoo of my house. We talked some few minutes. She told me she was once married when she was in 200level, though her parents pushed her into the marriage due to financial problems of the family and the man she was married to was a jerk and an unfaithful bigot. She never told me all these the first time she visited me oooooo. I asked her what happened to the marriage. She said that she couldn’t take it anymore because she was being physically and emotionally abused. And she finally had a divorce. After all the stories, I felt pity for and encouraged her. But still, I wasn’t comfortable with her coming back. Though I enjoyed her company the previous night.

Rescheduled day she said was the seminar came. We prepared, I told her I would drop her off at the hotel she said the seminar would hold. We prepared and I made sure I locked my house door very well before we left the house and I dropped her at the hotel before leaving for my office.

At 09:12 am, just about 45minutes I got to my office. My guest called to tell me that the organizers of the seminar has postponed it again. Na so me sef come dey wonder the kind waka wey this girl waka come. She said she’s at my office gate and I should come give her my house key. Na so fear come catch me. How would I just give a total stranger my house key. Infact I no even know her plans. E fit be say dem don even finish the seminar and she wan go back, she wan use style steal something for my house. so many thoughts began to wonder on my mind within 30 seconds. Shey make I give her or not.’ I told her I won’t give her. Before I knew what was happening, she came straight into my office building. He told people I was her fiancé and she was there to see me. na so we start to dey argue untop my own thing ooo. Untop my own house key. She was about to start a scene. I didn’t want to get a query. The last two I had gotten was less than a week and it was women matter. I had no choice but to give her the key and she left. I took permission by an hour later and rushed home to check if my property was still intact. When I got home, I met the shock of my life. This girl, messed up my parlor and bedroom. When I came into the parlor, everywhere was scattered. My TV was not where it was when I left it. The chairs were turned upside down. It just looked as if arm robbers ransacked the house. This girl cook 3 packs of hungry man size of indomie noddles. After chopping the thing, he left the pot on my bed in the bedroom. The whole kitchen was messed up with 4 bottles of juice littered on the floor. Even though say na glutton, shey e go chop wetin this girl they chop. Me come dey para for the girl. She dey inside my room just balance on top bed dey chop indomie. The way this thing is going, she may finish the whole drinks in my fridge. I told her to pack her things and leave. She started crying and pleading. But I no gree ooo. When she found out I wasn’t moved by her tears. She became stubborn that she was not leaving. Na so I grab her to push her outside. Na so she no gree. She ran through the kitchen door with the house keys. My Oga in the office had already started calling me. he had already told me we were going somewhere by 1pm, and it was 12:35pm. I began chasing this girl inside the compound ooo. I found out I can’t do it. I had to leave back to the office till I came back.
http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/959-the-strange-girl-i-met-on-twitter

I woke up this Saturday morning at about 3am. I just couldn’t sleep any more. I tried to force myself to sleep but I couldn’t. It seems heading towards daylight was slow. The time was crawling. I just want to see sunlight. I couldn’t sleep. ‘What should I do now!’ I thought to myself. Well I picked up my phone and began to browse. I checked my facebook messages, I replied the once I could and I moved to twitter to check what was trending. I saw a post by this lady or girl if I should call her that. That was not the first time of seeing her post, and in fact I didn’t know when I started following her till I checked and found out I was following her some few weeks back. Maybe she is one of those girls that buy followers, because sometimes I do notice it. I would be following some strange people but really know when and how I clicked on, “follow” menu.

So when I saw her post I loved it and decided to retweet it. I later sent her a private message complimenting her tweets. I told her it was so inspiring. And guess what! she replied my message. I never knew she would reply because, from her profile and photo, with her large over 15,000 followers, she looked like a twitter celebrity and a big girl. With so many fans retweeting her post.

She thanked me for the compliments and I began to blush. She said she has been following my tweets. I was happy that I had met a new friend on twitter. I was happy that a twitter Celeb replied my message and complimented me.

Two days later I tweeted at her again and she replied. And it began. That was where we started exchanging regular messages. We started chatting and sending each other private messages. At first I was scared to push it further to the next level but later, I summoned the courage to ask for her BB pin. She gladly gave it to me. We chatted for some couple of days and we exchanged mobile numbers. I invited her to come over to my place this particular weekend.

When she arrived she called me to come pick her up from the car park. I was happy that I was going to meet this sweet girl I was chatting with for over 1 month. I arrived the car park and behold this fine chick I was fantasizing about. This girl was so gorgeous, her looks like that of halle berry, she has this drop dead gorgeous smile that can make any fall for her with a nice dimples, I hugged her so hard that I nearly kissed her in public. I took her straight as we headed home. Right from when we were in the park I don even dey imagine wetin I go do to that her fine body for my bed. I never knew that I was thinking of how to bring problem upon myself.

We got home, I brought out some wine and beverages I bought and we drank. She only with just a moderate sized pulse or bag if I will call it because she only brought along with her a towel and just 3 clothes, a pair of female trouser and 2 tops. We enjoyed our weekend, it was fun and lovely. On Monday morning I was so happy that I have won, she was to leave to her base that morning so I waited for her to prepare and leave before I leave for work. After getting ready, I gave her some cash while I drove her to the park. Immediately I dropped her I off I left. After preparing myself to go to work I heard a knock on my door, I opened it and behold it this girl. She just entered; I thought I dropped her off at the park! I was trying to ask her why she came back but she ignored me as she badged into my sitting room and straight to my bedroom. I followed her immediately to know what she was doing. As I was trying to enter my bedroom to know what she was looking for, she just came out holding a female pant on her left hand. She said she forgot that her pant. Was that what she came to back to collect and I was asking her but she ignored me. I was just looking at her as she was leaving, I called her and ask if she didn’t forget any other thing, she was like “was I chasing her out of my house”. See me see wahala oooooo, na me get my house nah, mission is completed why is she coming back again. I told her I wasn’t chasing her but I was running late to work and want to make sure she wasn’t forgetting any other stuff. You need to see how her face changed after I made that statement. Her faced looked like that of mama iyabo in my village. That mama iyabo has so many wrinkles and when she laughs, she looks like tamed demon. That was how this chick’s face looked when I told her I was going to work and I want to shut my door. She finally left “thank baba Jehovah”. Immediately she left I went to my bedroom to check if she didn’t put any voodoo or juju in my house. I searched my bedroom and almost the whole house to make sure my house is free from any juju if she brought one. I regretted it because I went to work late.
http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/959-the-strange-girl-i-met-on-twitter

After we passed the “Welcome to Okiigwe sign post,” the car stopped. The driver tried starting it, it couldn’t. And it was night, cars were passing but the place ours had this fault, there were no houses. It was just the entrance of the of the town we had not gotten to the main town. Looking at the situation, I didn’t know what to do or say again. the driver asked us to help push the car. The Jezebel we have in the car, teju, she had already slept off when the driver woke her up to come down and help push the car. “Push which car! After paying our T-fair, I go still push car,” Teju said. “Abeg I no fit push any car,” she repeated again. I was deeply angry within me. I began regretting embarking on the journey.

I, uju, kosi and the driver managed to push the car while teju stayed inside the car while we pushed. It was a big embarrassment to me. Na because say she pay our Transportation. I began to think of how to revenge what she is doing.

After pushing for about 15minutes, the car finally started. We entered and we moved. Barely 10 minutes we moved, the car stopped again. This time I was angry in me that I had to voice out. Thank God, the place it stopped people are passing and we were seeing motorcycles (Okada). I told teju to driver part of the money, and we should get another car, maybe okada to our destination. At first she objected but after arguments, she agreed and went to meet the driver where he was checking ‘God knows what’ in his car bonnet. I wanted to call victoria but I had no airtime. I had to use Uju’s phone. Victoria wasn’t even picking up my call. Kosi tried too but she wasn’t picking. I had to send her a text. As I and Kosi were thinking of what to do, how to get in touch with victoria. We heard Teju and the driver arguing. I went to meet them to know what was happening. i got there and asked, the driver was angry that Teju offered him N800 for the 4 of us. teju tried explaining that since the driver didn’t get to our destination, the full money won’t be given to him. Driver no gree. He said we must give him the complete N2,000. Na dat one me no agree with the driver. We began arguing, I told the driver we can’t pay him N500 for each. Na so we drag this thing. And time was going. I took the driver to one corner and explained things to him. We negotiated and he finally agreed on N400. I was happy that he said he would accept N400, I had already forgotten I was not the one paying. I went to Teju and told her what I and the driver concluded. “Lai-lai, I can’t pay N400 for this stupid journey,” Teju screamed. She said she was even planning to even pay him N150 but changed her mind. “If you people have the money, pay him the N500. But for me, I can’t pay it,” she said. kosi and uju started begging her to pay but she refused. How I wished Victoria was picking our call, so she could come and take us out of that place’ I thought to myself. Even the birthday party we are going to, how am I sure the party had not ended. Victoria was not picking her call, she was yet to reply my text message. She didn’t even bother to call us sef. Though we had earlier spoken and I wished her a happy birthday, but since that morning, we are yet to speak again.

Teju refused to pay. She was still insisting on the N200. As we were still arguing and I was pleading for teju to pay, the driver just left us to work on his car. The car started. I didn’t know how he did it. Immediately the car started, teju opened the front door and jumped into it. “I no dey carry una again,” driver shouted. “Make una comot for my car,” he said again. “Lai lai, we no go comot unless you carry us reach were we dey go,” teju replied. both of them began to quarrel. No be that one e dey me, I began stopping motorcycles to see if they can take us to victoria’s place. I called 2 motorcycles (okada), one will pick kosi and teju while the other one would be for uju and i. Each of them charged N150. Teju refused. She said she won’t enter the okada that the car must take us to victoria’s house. “I say I no dey go again nah, make una pay me for the one wey I carry,” the driver said. “Teju pay this man and let us leave here,” Uju shouted at teju.

“I won’t. I won’t” teju said. It was dawned on me that this girl teju was just a mischief maker. She doesn’t listen to what we are saying. I tried calling victoria but she wasn’t picking. I was tired, I didn’t know what to do again. I started regretting embarking on the journey. As at that time, it was 7:56pm. This is a place we were not familiar with and I have to take it gently with teju, if not she may cause more problem.

I thought of begging money from passersby. Maybe I could raise some money to get out of that place. Na so the 2 people wey I meet, all of them talk say dem no get. This one na pure Gobe. I went to meet the driver, I pleaded with him to ignore teju. He should just take us to our destination, when we get there I would pay. Thank God he finally agreed and we entered. I never knew we were in for another drama.

I joined teju at the front seat as I pointed the lights on my phone and the touch the driver gave to me. Barely 20 minutes the driver began driving, I discovered that everywhere was just quiet. The road was lonely. I felt like being scared but managed to hold myself. Everywhere was cold, goose pimples on my hands. “This place na cemetery nah,” teju shouted. ‘cemetery keh.’ Wetin we come dey find for cemetery. Na cemetery victoria dey stay! Abi, we are just passing by. I pointed the touch lights to my right hand side. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. So many tombs and small bushes around. Na so fear start to dey catch me. “Oga na cemetery be this place nah,” I said. “Yes na cemetery. We go soon reach were we dey go,” the driver replied. Before we knew what was happening, the car stopped or maybe the driver intentionally stopped. “Oya make una come down, car don stop,” the driver said. Shey dis man dey joke nih or. Driver came out of the car asked us to come down. Na so we start to dey para ooo. I believed the driver brought us there to use us for rituals. Infact I began thinking everything was preplanned. The driver began threatening us to pay him, and if we don’t pay him right there that moment, the spirit of is dead father buried at that cemetery would rise and strike us dead. Chaiiii, we don enter one chance oooo. Teju said she was not coming down, that she wants to see how that spirit would strike her dead. She sat comfortably at the front seat while I and the 2 other girls went down. Uju was scared, she started crying. I don’t even have any money to give to the driver. I called teju, asked her to pay the driver so we could leave the place. Since it seems the driver is an evil man. Teju no gree ooo. She said either the driver takes us to our destination or return us back to arochukwu. By then I knew that teju was ready to die. She had been infected with the spirit of death. Maybe it was her destiny to die that day. No be for me. That is not my destiny. I nearly started crying. I began praying in my mind. If God should save me from that incident, I promised not to fornicate, chase women, drink. Infact I will turn to a pastor. Those were my thoughts as I and kosi and uju left the place in a hurry. “Una no wan pay,” the driver said. We didn’t even bother to reply as we ran for our dear lives. The person who supposed to pay refused. As we were running, finding our way out of that place, something stroked me. Leaving Teju at that place wasn’t a good idea. What would her fate be. The man may even kill her and use her for rituals. Part of me told me to go back and bring her. Another part of me told me to leave her because she was stubborn. And that’s true, upon everything, I tried to convince her to follow us for us to leave, she refused. Another thought came to my mind. Maybe teju and the driver was working together. And If we get there, both of them may just hijack and kill us. I was scared. And what of when we get there, it may be too late. The driver might have used teju for rituals. Hundreds of thoughts were just flying across my mind. I didn’t know what to do. If 3 of us were able to make it alive out of that death zone, how do we explain it to people, what are we going to tell people of what happened to teju! Who will believe our story? We escaped alive and left teju there.

As I was thinking about going to get teju, I never knew the other girls were bothered too. Uju agreed we should go and get her. I agreed but what of if she objected. Because na so her way be. Another thought came to my mind. What of when we get there and they had already disappeared! Or they had already turned to beast and swallow us. As the thought came, I became more scared but I was determined to do it and there was no going back. If we die we die and if we live we live. I took kosi and uju and we went back in that dark night.

When we got there, I saw the car but couldn’t see the driver and uju. “E don happen,” something in me said. We began calling her name. Something in me said we should leave there fast. But I refused. I don’t even know were the boldness came into me. It looked as if I wasn’t scared again. I began to look for her. Not until we found her on one of the tomb. She held the drivers shirt and was not letting go. She insisted that the driver must take her to victoria’s place. it was all dawned on me that teju has gone mental. I grabbed her immediately, held her tightly. She was struggling to get down, hitting me with all her long nails scratching over my body. Uju was crying. At that moment, I don’t know what is wrong with her. But I held her firmly and dragged her along as we ran. The driver stood and was checking the time on his wrist watch. Maybe he was waiting for his people to come and hijack us.

As I carried teju and she struggled, kicking and hitting me. I felt the pain that at a time I put her down. “What is wrong with you,” I shouted. Na so this girl stand up carry one stone for ground come nack me for head. I couldn’t take it anymore. I began beating her. the other 2 were crying and begging me to leave her. I plucked out a small cane from a tree and flogged her. I grabbed her by the waist and we moved fast as possible till we got to a tarred road. We saw some passersby and narrated what was happening. One of them managed to help us get a keke and we entered and he took us to our destination.

When we were narrating what happened to victoria, she was just laughing. The relationship between I and teju never remained the same. She doesn’t even talk to me. I knew I really dealt with her at the bush but it wasn’t my fault. I did it to protect ourselves. After the incident that day, we went to the church for prayers and deliverance. Teju didn’t join us. I believe she needs a special deliverance for her own case. She has a weird attitude right from time but she went took it to the extreme that day. But all in all, thank God for saving and delivering us from evil and death. I don’t know what would have happened in the bush if not for God.

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The first bus we boarded, the driver said he would take us for N700. Chaii, na so teju scatter, “N700 is too expensive nah. I can’t pay for this,” she said. she don finally tell the whole world say na she dey pay our transport fair. I begged and pleaded with her. Uju and kosi joined. We pleaded with her to pay so we could just leave. At least victoria will give us some money. Even though she doesn’t, I promised to pay her and the extra, but let’s just leave so we could get there on time because Night was fast approaching.

Everything we said fell on deaf ears. This teju girl no gree. She said she can’t pay N700 each. Na so we stay there. The bus load comot, another one load comot. Bus just dey load dey go, teju still they do strong head. Other girls were angry. I had nothing on me. my last N100 was what I used to transport myself to Teju’s house. My transportation to the park was paid by teju. I began to think. How I wished I had about N200 on me. I would have just gone back home and forget about the birthday. After much para wey we para for the teju girl. She said we should move forward and stand on the main road side, that we will see a car going to Okiigwe for N400. I was confused and didn’t know what to do. I don’t even have money to go back home. Uju asked some people at the park if it was true we were going to find a car going to Okiigwe for N400. Some said it was possible. Na so we comot for there come go stand for main road they wave car. Maybe we could get a car going to Okiigwe. After over 45 minutes, we finally found an empty old Pegeot car. The driver was a not so young. He should probably be in his early thirties’ I guessed. He said he can take us to Okiigwe, even to the place we are going. He charged us N600. Na so another wahala start. I just couldn’t argue. Na so Teju and the driver drag this amount ooo till finally. The driver finally agreed to take us to our final destination for N500. That was about 5:25pm. The journey sef no dey my body again. we finally entered the car and the journey began. Teju sat at the front seat opposite the driver. She said she must seat there since she was the one who paid. Who get time to drag! Nah make we get to our destination be the matter.

As we moved, I discovered the car was moving slowly, I don’t really like it. I wanted to talk to the driver but I changed my mind. The car was too old. Maybe if he increased the speed, the car may scatter. The way it was even making noise as it moved, I was just praying it shouldn’t stop half way.

15 minutes into our journey, it looked as if the car wasn’t even moving. It was crawling and the lady gaga jezebel we have, Teju, I was surprised she didn’t say anything to the driver. Since they said the journey from Arochukwu to Okiigwe was just 45 minutes. I had to cool my temper. The driver brought out some pilled oranges inside a black nylon he kept near the steering. He gave us. ‘Make una come join me ooo.” Uju, kosi and I said we were not taking but thanked him. even though I was so hungry. I needed to take something but my mind was in getting to Okiigwe. “Abeg leave them make them dey do shakara joor. Give make I lick,” Teju rushed the oranges. She took one and the way she was gobbling it was embarrassing.

I wasn’t even bothered, my own was for us to get to Okiigwe safetly and on time.

Half way into the journey at about 6:17pm, the driver told us to bring out our touch lights, phones with touch lights because his car’s front lights are not working. Chaiii, this one na gobe. So na wetin we go experience! Na so I come on my touch light phone come point the thing. Kosi also helped me with hers too. I joined teju at the front seat as I pointed the lights for driver to be seeing as we moved closer to Okiigwe.

It was about 6:37pm, we were finally at the entrance of Okiigwe. I saw “Welcome to Okiigwe” sign post afar. ‘Thank God’ I thought to myself. My hands were already aching me. I was tired of pointing lights for driver to see clearly. I was so happy that we would soon get to our destination, I never knew the troubled journey just started.
http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/952-4-corpers-our-adventureous-birthday-journey-to-the-cemetery

One of the days I would never forget in a hurry. The day 4 corpers, young and vibrant were thrown into the cemetery. I was among the 4. What happened? How did it happen?

It was a beautiful Saturday. The D-day. That was victoria’s birthday. Every one of us, Uju, Teju, Kosi and I had been anticipating the birthday party which would take place in Okiigwe in Imo state where she (victoria) was serving.

Victoria was the happening girl when we were in University of Nigeria Nsukka (UNN). She was from a rich family. Year in year out, we don’t miss her birthday party because there was lots to eat and drink. Considering she was a close friend of 4 of us. We couldn’t miss that birthday. It’s a special course on its own. And that kind course, you no fit carryover. That God she was posted to Imo state while we the 4 other people in the clique were posted to Abia state for NYSC. Our PPA was Arochukwu in Abia while victoria’s was Okiigwe in Imo state.

I woke up that day with a sad face. The journey we were about to embark, I had no money on me. Government was yet to pay corpers their allowee. ‘Only God know how I was going to get to Okigwe,’ I thought to myself. As I was complaining about money, other 3 was complaining too. But Teju had some money. She said she would pay our transport fair to and fro. Though victoria had promised that she would give us some money when we come to okiigwe. So I was anxious to go. If it were to be another person. I wouldn’t have thought about going. But victoria na sure girl. Her papa get money so she go give us better money when we come.

I prepared myself. I took one of my deepest school bags. So all the juice, food and take away wey I go collect, the bag fit contain them. After preparing, the only N50 on my phone, I used it to call the other 3 others, teju, uju and Kosi. Teju said I should come to her house so all of us will go from there. Na so I use the N100 wey remain for my pocket enter bike go Teju house. Since she’s the one to sort out the transportation to Okiigwe.

I got to teju’s house, other girls had already prepared and were there. Teju never still prepare finish and that was about 11:12am. “When we go come go nah. Nah night we go come rich Okiigwe,” I said to them. “Abeg farabale joor,” teju said. Well, that’s how she would behave because I don’t have money. Na she get money to transport us so she come dey do anyhow. I had to endure it till she finished and we left the house to the park. That was around 02:17pm that afternoon. Okiigwe is not too far from Arochukwu but i love us to be there on time. But the girl wey dey pay our transport fair. Na she get money. she just dey use us dey do yeye. She even dictated the bus we will enter. Her blood just dey hot because she dey pay our transport fair. She don forget say sometimes wey the thing dey hold her, she no go get, na me dey even dey buy sanitary pads for her.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/952-4-corpers-our-adventureous-birthday-journey-to-the-cemetery

Njideka; Baby Oku as many in the street call her. Onu gbajie boys. She fine like no body business. Her beauty and fair skin complemented her stature. When she is in the midst of her siblings, you won’t seize to wonder if they were actually born by the same mother. According to story, she and her siblings were given birth to at the bank of ofiaha river. I heard the river was later cursed which caused it to dry up few years later. Maybe Baby Oku was born when the angels just came out to take their birth. And when it came to the turn of her siblings, the angels cursed the river which made her siblings so ugly.

As a youth corper posted to that village, the first day I came to the community, Baby Oku was on the lips of almost everybody I met. At first I began to wonder if the personality was a chief or a rich fella in the community. I began to wonder who Baby Oku was. Because I had only watched the movie which featured mercy Johnson Okojie. Or has mercy Johnson come to the community to start acting the Baby Oku she played! Not until I was told she was a young lady with 5 children from 5 different men. She had 4 husbands.

Baby Oku means “Hot Girl.” I heard that the Baby Oku is so hot that year in year out, Male corpers can’t get enough of her. And she is a very generous giver.

I woke up this morning, which is the second day of my stay in the community. I woke up to prepare to go to school I was posted to. That would be my first day in that school. I heard a knock on my door. I went and opened it. Standing before me was a very beautiful damsel with some slight spot on her nose.

“Good morning corper, My name na Njideka but many people dey call me Baby Oku,” she said hastily.

“So na dis girl people dey call Baby Oku,” I thought to myself. Indeed she was hot. I didn’t know what to reply her because I don’t even know why she came to my house.

As I was still speechless like a dumb. I couldn’t alter a word. Still staring at her like an idiot. “Corper, I say make I come greet you. Welcome to our community,” she said. She spoke in Nigerian pidgin English. I thanked her for her kind gesture. She also told me that she has five of her children in the community primary school. The way she talked, indeed she is the Baby Oku they call her. Her mouth was running ta-ta-ta-ta like tap water as words come out. She didn’t waste time to tell me she had 4 husbands and she was 27 years of age. “Nah who come ask am all these things she dey tell me,” I thought to myself. Because I didn’t ask her all that. No be me ask her ooo.

I smiled as she talked. She seemed friendly and a bit scary as words falls from her mouth like oranges falling from its tree. I told her “Thank you.” She said I should feel free and incase if I need anything, I should call on her. That she’s very popular in the community. As she was leaving, she turned around to me, “No forget ooo corper, if you want anything, even ukwu nwanyi owerri. I go give you.” “Ukwu nyanyi owerri, what is that,” I thought to myself.

I prepared and left for my school. When I returned from school, I was informed that another corper had also been posted to the community, making us two. Funny enough, it’s a female. I was informed that I had to vacate the house I was staying, that the community had made another accommodation for I and the corper to stay.

When I got to the new house they made. It was a big flat with 3 rooms. I met the female corper. We introduced ourselves. She said her name was Adanna. As we were talking, Baby Oku zoomed out of one of the rooms. “ Yah, corpers. Hope say una like the house,” she asked. Adanna told me that she was staying at the third room. “That means we would stay with Baby Oku in that house,” I thought to myself. In as much as I find her beautiful, attractive, friendly, she has this awkward attitude that I couldn’t explain. She talks anyhow.

“erhhmmm, corper sam, you fit come out for night,” she asked me. I asked what she meant. “Plenty of Ukwu nwanyi Owerri go dey for that palmwine joint. You go come select the one wey you like. If na my own sef, I no mind give you, ” he said. adanna hearing that busted into laughter. They began speaking in Igbo language. I couldn’t understand what they were saying. But my mind was still on the “Ukwu nwanyi owerri” Baby Oku was always referring to.

When baby Oku finally left, I asked Adanna what they were talking about and what the Ukwu Nwanyi Owerri meant. She tried telling me that Owerri woman are the most beautiful and have the best waiste (ukwu) in Nigeria. So what Baby Oku was referring to was that there are plenty of girls I can sleep with. Even though I if I don’t like them, she is available. As Adanna explained, we laughed. Baby Oku no dey dull at all. So she expect say I go come copulate with her. But come to think of it, she was damn beautiful and attractive. At first look at her, one won’t know she has given birth to over 3 kids. Me sef, I just shout God forbid as adanna talk say I go copulate with her. But in my mind, I don’t really mind ooo.

As days go by, all the parties organized in the village, you must surely find baby Oku there. The party is not complete without Baby Oku. She often goes with her 5 children. I refer to them as “football complete squad 5.” 3 boys and 2 girls. Each time you see them coming back from any party, they come with nylon bags full of food.

There was this particular party the king invited us to. Adanna and I sat together. That period, both of us were broke. And Government never pay us allowee. As we dey dia, we wait oooo, food no reach us some people dey chop for plates of rice. But the 2 corpers were yet to eat. I don’t want us to downgrade ourselves, start begging for food. “How corpers wey go school go come start to dey beg for food,” I thought to myself. while we were there filling our ego, food were just being passed around. It looked as if they intentionally snubbed us. And hugger just dey hammer us. I was contemplating on what to do. Na so Baby Oku land. “Corper sam, una don chop,” she said. I smiled like a he goat. I didn’t know what to reply. I don’t want it to look as if we are begging for food. “No,” adanna replied. Na so Baby Oku go inside come bring 6 plates of rice. She also brought palmwine with it. I devoured my own. I couldn’t even finish two plates. She brought out a big nylon bags. Only God knew where she got them. She had to put the left over inside. she went inside and stacked the bag with food. Infact, that food helped us that period because Governement was yet to pay us. We wake up, we warm and chop. Na dat good reason I start to dey like baby oku.

Me and Baby Oku were close. I saw her as a nice and great woman. Not until I travelled to Osun state. I brought back Yam floor, Amala dudun(Black amala).

Immediately I came back, Baby Oku entered my room. She took the Amala dudun. I told her she couldn’t prepare it. She should leave it that when I come back from CDS, I will prepare it with Vegetable soup (Efo riro), and we would enjoy it together. Alagidi, Stubbornness. She no gree. I left her to take it and went to monthly CDS.

I was at the event when I and Adanna got a call that I had wiped away a family. The person who called said I shouldn’t come back to the community, and that the youths are looking for me. If they find me, they would kill. I wondered what I had done that the villagers were looking for me. I wanted to ask what I did when the guy ended the call.

I got another call again that all 5 of Baby Oku’s children were dead. They said the food I gave to them killed them all. “Did I give Baby Oku any food. I never gave her anything.” I began to shiver, I was scared. I reported the matter to the NYSC coordinator for the state. He took his car with some few police men and an a soldier. I and Adanna joined them and we left for the community.

When we got to the community, if not for the police and soldier that was shooting in the air, we would have been lynched by the villagers. I began to wonder what happened. We dropped at the Kings palace. It was there that the king explained to us that the Baby Oku and 3 of her children were dead. And it was the black amala. But how come the Black amala killed them. Was it not from it I ate in Osogbo before coming down to the east. One of the youths explained that they couldn’t prepare it and it was ignorance. They prepared it and ate it like someone drinking garri. But I remembered telling her to leave it for me till I come back. But after I left, she went to pour cold water, inside, added sugar to it. She and her children started drinking it like garri. But I began to wonder again. How could they have died after taking Black amala in cold water. Was it really what killed them? I was pained about what I heard. That baby Oku and 3 of her children were dead. it was unimaginable.

Baby Oku being a popular personality in the village made it worse. Loved my many, me too. Almost everyone in the village wants to kill us. the police that came with us arrested me. They said they would investigate the matter. Maybe I added poison inside the Black amala. The Nysc coordinator had to transfer adanna out of the community immediately for security reasons. I was taking to a nearby police divisional headquarters.

While I was detained, one officer came to meet me, he said I should tell him the whole truth and what happened. I opened up to him. I told him the truth. That I didn’t kill Baby Oku. I only brought amala dudun (Black amala) from Osogbo to eat. It is not an Igbo food but everyone can eat it. it told him I didn’t see any poisonous thing about the food, and it can’t harm. Maybe it was how they prepared it. And it’s most likely that the dead ones have a sensitive stomach. I told the officer that I was ready to do everything to clear myself. I was ready to even prepare the Amala and eat it to prove I never poisoned it. The officer told me never to try that. He said some police officers would be bringing the Amala dudun soon. He said they would want me to prepare and it. He said I should insist on not eating. He said he was suspecting that Baby oku was killed with diabolical powers but I was being used as a scape goat with my own incident and food. So I should insist on not eating the food. He also told me that if I should eat the food, I may die or something bad might happen to me because they(some evil men in the community) must have poisoned the food. I borrowed the officer’s phone and airtime called my family to inform them what is happening. I also told couple of friends.

In the evening, some police officers came. They brought the amala dudun and hot water. They asked me to prepare and it. I prepared it but refused eating it. They tried forcing me but I refused. “you see nah, I said it. Now I know say nah you kill this people,” one of the officers said. Before I knew what was happening, they called some of the chiefs in the community and told them that I had confessed to killing Baby Oku and her children. Barely 1 hour time, the king arrived the station. The officers began to beat me. NYSC coordinator was called. They told him that I had confessed. He told them to treat me according to law as a criminal.

The DPO said they would be taking me to court. But the king said they shouldn’t. They should shoot me to death at night. But DPO refused.

2 days later, my parents arrived. Through my uncle who works for one of the senator in Abuja. I was released but the case was yet to be closed. Na only God go deliver Him people. I so much love Baby Oku and her family. But what I have gone through with her death had made me hate her.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/950-the-love-and-hatred-for-njideka-baby-oku

This reminds me of the acronym we Nigerians use for old houses with rooms opposite each other in ghetto areas, “face me I face you.” Or “Face me I slap You.”

Living in face me I slap you might be disgusting to some people. Maybe they hadn’t the opportunity to live or stay in that kind of areas. But to some people it seems normal staying in that kind of area. Not because is conducive but because they can’t afford better living houses in a good and better environment.
A woman once told me this story of the first time she visited her cousin in Lagos. She’s kind of a working class lady living in a better house in the beautiful city of Portharcort, but on getting to Lagos, she saw what she felt was the most disgusting area she had ever visited in her life. She got to Lagos and her cousin came to pick her up from the airport and off to her house. She couldn’t believe her eyes what she saw when they got to her place. She couldn’t believe that her so called cousin who lied to them that she had a good job and a comfortable house in Lagos was staying in “face me I slap you”. According to her narration.
Immediately we got to her place, the odour that came out of the compound was like an abattoir. Opposite my cousin’s room was their toilet, a general toilet were about 18 people use. The toilet has no door. When one is going there, he or she has to go with a wrapper to cover the edges of the door so that nobody will see you when you are doing your thing. Almost everywhere in the compound was full of children’s poo.
This kind of experience was bad that I wondered if they are able to identify their neighbors because about 8 people stay in a room. For the period I stayed in the compound, many come in and people are leaving.
At the center of my cousin’s room and the toilet was a drainage canal with dirty and smelling water passing through. When kids wash, they throw the water inside the canal, including dirt and all will be drained along with the water. At night everywhere would be smelling that I began to wonder how they cope and no one was yet dead because of the smell. The smell alone can make someone go out of their senses.
Coupled with all that were Mosquitoes that are so big, their eyes look like touch lights flying all around. The noise in the compound sounds like group of village men going to war. At about 10:00pm that night, i found out that i couldn’t sleep as the smell oozing out of the toilet was so heavy, i was even hearing the sound of that thing as the person inside the toilet was forcing it out.
i was supposed to spend about 4 days at her place(cousin), but changed my mind the next morning when, at about 6:00am when i went outside to see if i could manage the toilet. As i walked out of the door, i saw one of the neighbors urinating inside a small bowl in front of her door, after urinating she poured it into the flowing canal and kept the bowl in front of her door. What i saw next was a man who came out of the room the woman went in. I guess that was the woman’s husband. The man just came out, took the bowl on the floor, went to a drum close by and took water from it with the bowl and was washing his mouth with the water from the bowl and immediately one of their kids came out of the room and he used the water to wash up the kid’s face and the mouth. I was like, “what is this.” I immediately went inside and packed my bags, told my cousin i was leaving. I couldn’t take it anymore. Abeg I no wan die before my time.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/948-her-weird-experience-of-face-me-i-face-you-house-in-lagos

After long months out of Asaba the Delta state capital, I returned. I visited my parents’ house. I was shocked when my mom told me that they had been having electricity problems for the past 6 months in there street. They said they stole something from their transformer. She said at first when it started, the PHCN or their new owners and they asked them to contribute money to buy the stolen materials about 5 months ago, and its worth over N100,000. The whole street actually contributed the money. My mom said she gave them N1,200. After buying the stolen material, the electricity came back but didn’t last for 3 weeks. It was gone. And the power holding said they have stolen that same materials again. so they have to contribute money again to buy it. For about 4 months now, they had refused to contribute money because they couldn’t understand why after buying materials, who was the thief who went to steal it.

I visited 3 of my relatives in 3 different streets. All of them complained of the same thing. No electricity. The PHCN said they have stolen something from our transformer.’ That was all their complain. Another of my relative I visited, I was shocked to have seen that she had electricity in her house. She said it was the previous day they began giving them electricity after one month. That the PHCN or their new owners said they stole something from their transformer so the whole street had to contribute some money to buy it back and it was the previous day they did everything and power came back to the street.

With all these things, I began to wonder. Has Asaba turned to a town that electrical cables, transformers are been vandalized! Currently, close to 70% of electrical transformers mouthed in Asaba are not working. Ask the PHCN, they will tell you that something’s have been stolen in the transformers. Now who are those that are stealing these things? Because I don’t see how almost all the transformers in a City are been shot down. Week in week out, you will hear that they have stolen something from transformers. Who are those stealing it and how do they do it? some of the things I hear was stolen, it’s not easy stealing all those kind of materials and it takes time. It requires those that have electrical experience to do that kind of thing.

I heard of one story were of a friend. After staying for 4 months without power, their street contributed some money and they got it done. A day after it was repaired, the power refused to come. They went to PHCN, and they told them that the material they changed in the transformer has been stolen again. But how come? Barely 24 hours they repaired it. Who stole it and how? I guessed they stole it in the midnight the day the power came. Me I dey talk all these things because I know understand again ooo. After buying materials for PHCN, they would still want us to pay for monthly subscription. This is bad for Delta state, Asaba. This is an oil producing state.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/946-asaba-a-city-where-electrical-power-transformers-are-vandalized-by-electrical-workers

8th December 2014 was a great day in the life of my friend. Being unemployed and in lack for a long time; making that huge kind of money was a huge plus for him.

That early, frank called me. He said that day was Delta State PDP primary election for Governorship. If I cared to join him at the place. Who knows, we could make huge amount of money because he heard they would be sharing money there. Well since I wasn’t doing anything, I told him I would join him later. Though within me, I had decided not to put myself in any form of politics and anything election.

I promised frank I would be there, but I lied. I had made up my mind not to go.

I was still inside my house thinking of how to go about my life. I had graduated, finished my NYSC, yet no job offer. I was thinking of going back to a teaching Job I was invited for. The monthly salary the offered was not reasonable. N10,000 per month, and I have to teach Biology, mathematics and Civic Education. I was considering going back to it, at least for a main time. As I was thinking about that, I got a call from frank. There were noises at the background.

“Guy, were u dey nah, e don dey happen ooo,” he said.

I asked him what that was. He said they are sharing money.

“As I dey here now, I have about 5 pieces of Dollars on my hand,” he said. With the hearing of “Dollar,” I jumped up from the bed immediately. “Dollar keh,” I screamed. Or maybe I didn’t hear well.

“I say dem dey share dollar here ooo. Were you dey,” he screamed again. I told him I was at home. He said I should hurry up and come and come to the place.

After dropping the call. I was confused. Hope this guy is not joking shah’ or he was just pulling my legs. I took my bath and rushed to the place they are doing the PDP primary.

When I got there, I met hundreds of people. Come see old women and men. Some were counting money on the floor. I called frank and he came to pick me where I was. Na so this guy dip hand inside him pocket come bring out dollars. Yay, this guy was serious ooo’ I thought to myself.

Frank told me that they were 4 major Governorship aspirants. Former house of Assembly speaker, Victor Ochie. Senator Okowa, Hon Elumelu. One of the aides to the current Governor Uduaghan, Tony Obuh. These were the major contenders. He said Victor Ochie gave someone N1million to give to delegates. He(Frank) was happy that at least he was going to go home with N2,000. Not until Senator Okowa’s people started sharing Dollars and he got his own.

We calculated the Dollar he got into Naira, and it was about N125,000. Chaiiii, frank don hammer be that. All the shops, stores close to the hotel were the primary was conducted, they closed down and some of the owners came over to the place when they heard they were sharing money there. Them wan come collect their own. I saw an old woman who brought 3 of her teenage grandchildren. She say she wan collect her own share.

In as much some people were lucky, some were not because they went home empty handle. I began to wonder how my friend frank managed to get his share. But he never voted. Him too no dey interested. By 11:30am, we left the place immediately. As we were leaving, we saw an old woman swearing for Nigerian politicians. She said they are busy sharing money while the money Is not circulating as required. We laughed as we heard her. Some who were lucky there got up to N300,000. Some even above N1m while some like me left empty handed.
http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/944-how-my-friend-made-huge-amount-of-money-in-the-last-pdp-primary-election

keep on laughing.. but thats the truth. Atiku understands how to catch delegates.

Looking at the APC primary election that would take place on the 10th December 2014. From what we have heard and seen, Kano state Governor, Kwankwaso is going, Imo state Governor, Okorocha is going. Former vice President, Atiku Abubakar and former military head of state, Buhari are also going. But the battle is between Atiku Abubakar and muhammedu Buhari.

In the past few weeks, Atiku has grown more stronger and better. Even though Buhari is more likeable, acceptable among major political stakeholders.

Buhari has that passion, he believes in Nigeria and would love to take it to greater heights. So many believes he’s the better opponent who can do the job well. But it seems Atiku has a wider edge over Buhari from my observations.

Here are these 3 reasons why I think Atiku will win the APC primaries.

1- Age- So many has complained about Buhari’s age. At over 70, he still wants to be the President of Nigeria. Atiku is younger and more vibrant. He still got age on his side. In as much Buhari would be more active, has a clean corruption record and transparent. Atiku may be preferred by delegates due to age.

2- Appealing to Nigerian Youths.- Atiku is smart, that was why he started his campaign by involving strong Nigerian Young Political commentators. The likes of Omojuwa, Ogunlesi. He also organized a youth forum, an interactive forum where he related with some youths. Majority of people involved in Buhari’s campaign and supporters are elder statement, far from the youths. This won’t really count well for the former military junta. 60% voters are youths and he is not carrying them along. So many things I know about Buhari are things my dad told me and what I read on the pages of newspaper and internet. That was what he has done some years ago.

Buhari is not carrying the youths along. Many youths like me love him. We want to share in the dreams he has for Nigeria. But he’s not really engaging us.

3- Money- Nigerian politics has not grown to the extent where average citizens donate money to aspirants and candidates. It is only the rich that donates. In Nigeria, the politicians give money, food items to voters for them to elect them. This is a country were politicians can easily buy our conscience with reasonable sum of money. and Atiku knows the worth, that’s why he’s using it.

In this term, Atiku is far richer. He can afford to buy delegates. Infact he is already doing it. Why do you think he said that it was too late for APC to have a consensus candidate? Before the advent of Atiku in APC, everyone had already believed that Buhari was the anointed one, not until Atiku came in. even Buhari knew this, that was why he said, “whoever was elected candidate by APC, he is ready to support.”

Many Nigerian politicians prefer Buhari to Atiku. But with the way things are going, the pendulum may swing. In the last couple of weeks, Atiku has been touring Nigerian cities, making consultations, meeting eminent men. His political campaign and supporters are growing while Buhari’s is sliding down. “It seems Buhari is feling it,” You may think.

Atiku is more relaxed now. The way he talks and the moves he makes. He believes so much in himself because he got the money. He understands the Nigerian political structure and how it works. He has been playing his game underground, buying off delegates. While Buhari is busy clamoring for support from eminent APC members. Indeed he may get it because they love him. But Atiku is busy spending his money on grass root members because they make up the majority delegates.

Remember what happened in 2010 when President Jonathan nearly lost the PDP Presidential primary election to Atiku. If not for the quick intervention of former President Obasanjo who helped Jonathan re-strategize his game plan. Atiku had offered some money to delegates. The deal was already done not until Obasanjo offered double of what Atiku had given to delegates. All for Jonathan to pick the PDP ticket. Well Jonathan finally picked it.

And that is what Atiku is not ready to play with now. Because he knows Buhari doesn’t have much money to spend on delegates. Atiku has the money and he’s spending it. Majority of the people that would vote for Atiku had already been bought by Turaki Adamawa himself. So, I won’t be surprised if Atiku picks the APC presidential ticket.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/941-3-reasons-why-atiku-will-clinch-the-apc-presidential-ticket

The experience was great But many sustained injuries

After the message, the thanksgiving offering was done, the pastor came back to the pulpit and gave his announcement. I just love my pastor, the way he jumps, shouts. His youthful orientation and alliance was appealing.

He said the coming Sunday, we should be expecting a drama group who will be performing. He ended the announcement by saying “If you are allergic to revelations, don’t come to church next Sunday.”

Most of us didn’t understand what he meant when he made the statement. He started the message fully and ended it, after the offering the service ended. He repeated the statement again. “If you are allergic to revelation, please don’t come to church next Sunday.” Still, most of us didn’t understand. We took it as his usual jokes. The service ended and we went home.

The Sunday came. I prepared myself for church. I actually want to blessed, not only by the pastor’s message but from the drama, it would be a plus.

The Sunday service started with Sunday school and later praise and worship. I was sitting at the middle of the congregation; from there, one can count about 20 rows to the last row/line in the church. The church was so filled to the capacity that there were little spaces. But thank God there was air condition. Where I was sitting was about 3 chairs to one of the exit and entrance door. It was time for the drama. The Pastor came and introduced the drama group.

Pastor was still on the alter with the microphone when I heard people from behind running towards me,

“Yay yay, bomb ! boko haram,” people were screaming.

Before I knew what was happening, the lady and the guy sitting close to me stood up from their chair to run. It was a pity, the church had scattered, there was little space for an escape.

Within 3 minutes all these were happening, my mind was wondering. How come boko haram invaded our church. With all the securities in my church. Before we entered, we were thoroughly searched and screened with the bomb detector at the entrance of the church. How come Boko boys entered. with the crowd in the church struggling to leave. I turned around, the crowd alone I saw moving with rush towards my side, because that was where the exit door is. looking at the crowd alone could make a someone collapse. I was yet to see the boko haram boys. But was I a fool waiting to see them before running for my life! Before I knew what was happening, so many are on the floor. Dis one na stampede. Come see as people just dey fall kata-kata for ground. One guy just dive untop of me. As I tried and struggled to get up, I couldn’t. I have suddenly turned to rug. Many were stepping on me to get out. many plastic chairs had broken. I was weak on the floor, not until I heard, “see dem ohh, na bomb dey inside the black nylon.” Immediately I heard that, no one told me how to struggle. I didn’t know how I did it to find my fit. I was able to struggle and I found myself outside the exit door. I was running for safety. About 40 people were struggling to get out through that door.

Getting outside the church building, I was rushing towards the gate when I saw about 20 people from that direction moving back towards my direction. I was hearing gunshot sounds from the direction they were running from. I do not need another prophecy to tell me that the bad guys were at the gate. ‘What should I do,’ move back into the church building that is not safe. As I was contemplating on what to do, I looked again towards the direction the other people were running from, I saw them; yes them! With their jihadist dressing with heavy guns. “Chaii, my own don finish today,” I thought to myself. i couldn’t still believe what I was seeing. So all those things I was reading in the newspaper about boko haram invading churches in Adamawa and Yobe, it has finally befallen my church in Abuja. “Am I going to die today? Is it the end for me,” I thought to myself. I began to think. What would my fate be if I die, have I given my life to Christ, was I clean.

I ran as fast as possible as the boko boys chased us with their big guns. I immediately ran, as I was running, I realized that one of the boko boys was chasing only me. “Chaiii, my own don finish today,” I thought. I ran as fast as possible, he still continued chasing me with his daga and gun. For my mind I was thinking, “Na only God know wetin this guy go take my neck do with that knife wey dey him hand,” “Chaiiii, dis man go kill me like chicken,” I thought and began to cry. I was shouting, “Pastor save ooo, blood of Jesus oo.”

I got to the church fence. It was too high, like 9 feet. I began jumping till my hands caught up with the top edge. Na so I pull myself, and jumped to the other side which was bush. “Thank God I am safe,” I thought. I never knew that the guy chasing me meant business. He want die untop my matter. As I was struggling inside the bush, I turned and discovered that this boko boy was still chasing me. “Chaiii, my own don finish today. Na today my own go end.” This guy no gree leave me ooo. I tried to see if I could run as fast as possible, but I couldn’t. I have even sustained some injuries on my two legs. As I try running fast, he also chased me with his gun till he caught up me while I fell on the floor. He pointed the gun to my face while I was on the ground. Then I started confessing all my sins. That God should forgive me and accept my soul when I get to his bosom. “If you move, I move you. If you shake, I shake you,” he screamed with a loud voice.

“Give me your hand,” he said to me smiling. Waite ooo, shey boko boys dey smile ! he asked me to stand up while he stretched his hand to me and helped me up. I was thing my own was finished. Now they have captured me. Maybe they would show my live execution in their video. As I followed him, he started preaching for me. Wetin com dey happen for here. I know com understand ooo. He asked if I was scared. “Of course I am,” I replied. who won’t be when you discover that the devil has invaded the church and began taking holy communion. “Everything you see that has happened today is part of the drama,” he said. He made me understand if he was indeed a boko haram member, he doesn’t need to chase me to that extent. He would have shot me long ago. And that was true. They were just chasing us and didn’t shoot us. chaii, na so I come they look like lucozade. I no fit talk again. so na drama be all these things wey them turn church upside down.

We got to the church. People had already started moving in. those who sustained injuries were being treated. A man dressed in rag and jihadist cloth was already preaching. He explained that everything that happened is part of the message and drama. He titled the message “FEAR”. He said we shouldn’t have ran away when he came into the church, even if it was boko haram. He said there was nothing wrong if boko haram came in. We are safe in the house of the lord. Even if we died, we died in the house of God.

But trust some people nah. They murmured in disagreement. Come to think of it, it wasn’t our fault we ran; nobody wants to die even inside the church. So many of us really enjoyed the message but some people who haven’t yet recovered from the shock and injury were still reluctant. After the message, the Pastor took the micro phone and said “did you remember last week Sunday when I told you that if you are allergic to revelations, don’t come to church today”. Then I realize what the pastor meant when he made the statement. The pastor said that what happened happened to us was small. He said when the invited minister went to one of the churches in a northern state were boko haram was operating more. He came inside the church dressed like a mad man and accompanied with two men dressed in black carrying a real gun and some live ammunition. Immediately he stormed the church with these men, everyone ran away and he ran after them. All of us were laughing as the pastor said it. Only God knows the number of injuries those church members will have that day, in what is supposed to be a drama. What the drama minister wants to tell us is that fear can put us into bondage and we should stand on faith with God and be not afraid of the adversary. He said we shouldn’t have ran away when he came in. But to some people that wasn’t right because you can’t use spiritual things to compare physical, we are humans that supposed to be conscious of what is happening around us, nobody wants to die before his/her time. A man sitting close to me said that in this kind of experience the “be not afraid “ in the spiritual is to stand firm but physically it means “Run for your life”. People will always run whether they know what is pursuing them or not. Though it’s not my fault I ran. If you were to be in that situation won’t you run?
http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/939-my-crazy-experience-the-day-boko-haram-invaded-my-church-in-abuja

yes oooo. no be small thing. nobody expected it. chaiiii. come see money, food yapa for the wedding gan...

I looked at my life and gave glory to Almighty father in heaven. Sitting in my room and staring at a throwback Picture of President Goodluck Jonathan and first lady, Dame Patience. I believe the picture was taken some years back. It has the President and his wife in one of her graduation ceremonies years ago. Who could imagine that they would later become the most powerful couple in the land. Our dear President was just a lecturer then. Whoever had told him he would rise up to lead the most power black nation on earth, and the sweet lovely lady beside him, his wife the first lady. Whoever had told them it would come to pass, would they believe? How about my own situation !

I could remember that day vividly. I was full of anger. So many thoughts were flying on my mind. Thoughts like, “the place I worked, the administration has said they won’t be paying some workers their full salary package, and I was part of the them. The thought of it made me want to take up a gun to kill. Even if I can’t kill any human, let me just pour out my anger on any wide animal. I was complaining that the N15,000 they were paying was not enough, now they want to reduce the one they want to pay for that month to N10,000. I come dey ask myself how I go take manage survive for that month. I don already dey calculate how I go take split the money if e come, na im dem come pour sand inside my garri.

I had earlier considered changing my job to a better one. But which certificate I wan use! I didn’t go to any university. Na even Waec na im I take get my job. At my age of 34, no husband yet, my house was boring as hell. I was just a mere secretary at a computer training firm. Day in day out as university graduates walk in to register for computer courses, I wished to be like them, have that confidence but my self-esteem had been shattered. I felt left out. So many I went to secondary school with had become successful. Many married and living happily in their homes. But me, I am being mocked by some. At my age I was yet to be married. Infact my own situation pathetic. Men no dey look my way again. The last time a guy made a pass at me was over 5 years ago. Shey my situation no worse. It wasn’t even sure I was going to get married in this planet earth.

As I was raging in anger with so many thoughts on my mind. I didn’t even mind that the rain was falling, when the taxi dropped me at my street, I went out of the car and headed straight to my house. The fine weavon wey aunty calabar make for my head, I no send, I just caryy the thing enter rain. Before I could walk up to two poles, my dress was all soaked in rain water, coupled with the gully erosion in the street. On getting to my close to the gate of my house, I met a pool of water. The rain was so heavy and I didn’t noticed it. The water had covered the hole entrance of the gate. I saw a jeep inside the water. The water had swallowed some part of the car. I pitied the owner because he sure would spend heavily when he manages to bring it out of that place.

I had to swim the water and entered my house. I je-jely locked my door from behind and started crying. Shey make I come dey swear for my Ogas at the top! I began to calculate how I was going to spend the money. Out of the N10,000, I will pay my tithe, feeding for the month is there. I had promised my mom I was going to send her some money for her upkeep, and I also want to purchase Part time form for Delta state university before it closes. Shey na with N10,000 I go take do all these things! Na God go punish devil.

The next day, I collected the N10,000 the Job paid. In anger I left for my house the evening. I got to my street. As I was heading to my house, a jeep passed me. That was the car that was immersed in water the previous day. I guessed the owner had finally brought it. It didn’t even look as something that was inside a heavy dirty water some couple of hours back. It looked clean and very expensive that I wondered why God would allow it sink inside that kind of dirty dustbin water.

The car passed, stopped and turned back and stopped at my front. “Hope say this man know think say na me send the rain wey swallow him car yesterday,” I thought to myself.

Glass wined down. I peeped into the car as saw it was a not too young man inside the car. “Hello madam,” he said from inside the car. ‘chaiii, my case don worse oo’ so I don turn to madam now.’ Na so I old reach!

“how are you sir,” I said reluctantly.

“Why did you jump into the rain yesterday,” he said.

“how,” I asked.

He said he saw me the previous day walking inside the day like a soldier. I should have waited for the rain to stop. Now, how that one take concern him!

I just smiled and told him I was in haste. I asked if he was the owner of the car inside the dirty water. He said he just brought it out and has gone to wash and service it.

He asked where I was going. I told him I was going to my house. He offered to carry me but I refused. No be that him own dey do me. “Do you just walk up to people randomly and offer to carry them in your car,” i screamed at him. I don start to dey pa-ra oo. He laughed and said he just wanted to show me good gesture. He was just talking with me gently. Me sef dey shout. Na the difference between poor people and rich people. Their IQs, attitude. I no know wetin enter me wey I waka leave the place. Na so this man follow me oo. I increase my footsteps come dey waka fast, himself come dey drive fast dey follow me. “she dis man no wan use me do juju nih,” I think for my mind. Na so I throway the black nylon, the fish wey I buy put inside. I throway the thing come start to dey run they shout, “Help ooo, help ooo, ritualist.” Shop owners in that street started coming out. Even people wey dey inside their house je-jely, na so them just come out make them see mgbeke wey dey shout. I ran into one of the nearby compound as I screamed. I met about 5 kids playing in the compound, and about 3 elderly people. As they say me running towards them, they too, ran inside. I followed them. I was about climbing the stairs I entered, the building I don’t even know the owner.

“Madam ogini, what is that! Who is chasing you,” a loud voice echoed from behind. I didn’t even bother to look. I was just climbing the stairs till I got to the first floor. I guessed the owners of the house still didn’t know what was chasing all of us as we ran. They ran into their home and I followed. As they locked the door from behind. The elderly man I saw which I guess was the father asked me what was chasing me.

Na so story start. I began telling him that it was a man that wants to use me for rituals. “Rituals keh,” he screamed. Before I knew what was happening, he had gone inside and brought out a gun. As I see the gun, na so fear begin catch. I began to wonder, maybe the man wants to complete the job by killing me there. As fear full my body. I watched as he matched towards the door with the big gun. For my mind, “Walahi talai, that gun no go enter the man wey dey chase me.” “E no go enter him body. All those ritualists wey dey use juju.” As he walked out, I just prayed that we won’t hear his obituary. He walked out and one of the kids locked the door. I was full of fear. Barely 10minutes he left, we heard a knock on the door. Na so all of us run enter their mama bedroom. The knock came harder and harder and we realized it was their father. One of the kids went to open the door. He walked in with the man that was chasing me.

Chaii, my own don finish. Na this be there plan. To kill me and I come fall into their trap. Na so I wan run enter back to their mama room. The father shouted “stop running nah, they just helped you found your I.D card and money.” I didn’t even want to listen. As I wanted to run into the room, I fell down. Before I know wetin dey happen, na so I come become laughing stock. The children come dey laugh me. na so people come dey come inside the house oooo.

After everything, the unknown man said his name is smart, and he was well known in the street. He said he found my national I.D card on a dustbin the previous day and wanted to return it to me. why him no come talk since nah, he come dey follow me, come dey fear me. He come make me injure mysef. The okporoko fish, everything wey I carry, na so I throway all of them.

He finally made me enter his car and he took me to my house. na so the guy stop, wan come still follow me enter my only room. I told him to go back but he refused. Oga smart say him wan enter my room. Well, I no wan to talk too much since I don tire. I opened the door and we entered. I no come see all the fishes wey I buy come wey I wan take cook soup. Well, thank God I was able to find my money. The small egusi soup I cooked about 2 days before, with only head of fish inside. I warmed it and made eba. As I washed my hands, smart was still inside. I no know wetin I wan tell him. I told him to come join me. I felt people like him don’t eat that kind of food. Na better quality soup dem dey chop. Before knew what was happening, smart has washed his hands to join me with the small eba and egusi soup I made. I was surprised. There was this norm that when we invite people to eat, many would say “No, thanks.” That was what I was expecting and not him joining me. the small food wey I dey complain say e no go reach me, na im he wan still follow me devour. As we dey chop, na so I dey use one eye with vex dey look smart. After eating, he still joined me in sharing the head of fish. Me sef come dey wonder the kind person wey just enter my house, shey na so the hunger hold am.

After that day, smart began frequenting my place, and today, he’s my beloved husband. A loving and caring man. At my age then, I never believed I could get married and even to a confortable man. He solely sent me to school, I did the part time program successfully. Today, we are blessed with 2 lovely kids. And guess what! after marrying my husband, I later went back to the computer training college; not to work but I and my husband bought the building and began using it as Montessori school.
http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/929-hilarious-experience-of-how-we-met

To be sincere with you, there are thousands going through that kind,of paid. People are so mean.