₦airaland Forum

[color=#808000]11. Home

As simple as it sounds especially if you wanna get laid that day. There's a 96.99% of this working. Trust ooh Mpa, it works

First, decide on which food to cook. Ensure it's a light dinner so you'll be able to carry her to the bed. Foolish bwois will make akpu for her, how you wanna get laid that night? Don't also serve beans if you don't want her to curse you that night

Second, make sure you guys cook it together. Rice with a nice sauce is okay, even peppersoup. Also, when cooking play pop songs like those from Justin Bieber and Timberlake. Ooh Mpa doesn't understand why chicks love them
Please do not play sample ekwe or danfo driver. Kiss you won't see

Now when eating, change the songs to blues from Michael Bolton, Richie et al. Please for God's sake, no lil Wayne or 2 chainz except if it's Idowuogbo

Don't finish your meal, change the song to afro pop like dem Davido, p square, etc. It's been proven that 98% of them get up and dance. If you're on a date with Marieolae, then don Moen is appropriate

No touch am anyhow, be a gentleman. Teach her some dance steps or let her school you. The latter always works, trust ooh Mpa

Now find a slow pace song and start all your touching, it's guaranteed she'll touch you pass. Don't be shy, touch touch touch Please those foolish bwois out there, this isn't the time to teach her shoki

Now kiss her, if it's with someone like Xsenga, seek consent before you find yourself flying like superman and landing at the hospital...


Do these and you're guaranteed safe sexx. Very accurate like girls on whatsapp asking for airtime after one week....
#Sai [/color]

[color=#808000]She bent herself in the twerk position patiently waiting for the iroko to harvest it's fruit in her....

Ooh Mpa instead gave her dugbe...
She still dey hospital [/color]

[color=#808000]This kind tori dey always end where the guy dey wipe hin eyes with tissue....

Do you, the girl and the 34 yr old potbellied guy (Yes, he is ) a favour by ending it now with the little pieces of heart left[/color]

[color=#808000]Carrying the bag ain't the problem so long as ooh Mpa carry those boobsies at night [/color]

[color=#808000]From micro to macro, we players have seen it all and we fancy neither anymore....

Small nyash and bootay chicks are liable to die young....
Big bootays have lines mimicking the äss crack

Just give ooh Mpa a moderate rounded bum with complementary hips and fresh, straight okpa laps and he won't cheat on you for a week

#Sai [/color]

[color=#808000]Women!!

He cheats, you complain. Now he wants to keep it within the family and you are here again....
Half weed is better than no weed....[/color]

MrsBreezy: Hahaha no comment...

Hmm then obviously I drink liquids

Lol how is he to do that?

[color=#808000]No comment means you sleep without?

You drink? How much does he produce?

Hey, Ooh Mpa's the one asking the questions. Say yes and ooh Mpa will show you not tell....What say you? [/color]

MrsBreezy: I'm wearing clothes...
Nah I cook it then eat it.
Lol to be honest I'm not very good at art.

[color=#808000]What kinda clothes do you wear in the night?

it's liquid not solid...so do you swallow it?

Well you're an art, Ooh Mpa is also one and he'd like to teach you how to appreciate yours and vice versa. What say you? [/color]

MrsBreezy: Omygosh God bless you. I feel the exact same way.

[color=#808000]Time for some new questions

What are you wearing?
Do you swallow it or do you wipe it off your mouth?
Ooh Mpa is the brush you the board, shall we make an art? [/color]

[color=#808000]Hard? Dem tie rope for your neck? Those 3 words fit give you herpes? Will your larynx close up cos of them?

Ooh Mpa is sending "I love you" sms to his 6 gfs tonight....
The fastest way to bed a girl is those 3 words...
In fact those 3 words have been used more than the number of times Ooh Mpa has taken a dump [/color]

[color=#808000]Bless this post and the pünny that gave birth to the poster. These kinds of guys always follow any moniker with (f) like their spërm depended on it. And always wanting to get laid for the sake of stupidity..... [/color]

marieolae: 1. Guys love women. They loves us. 2.because talking to a fine babe online is much more easier than approaching a girl in real life. 3. Because they love us too much to insult us bk 4. Because your a guy, she's a girl. Its normal 5. Because she has a vagiina 6. Because they prefer to follow girls

[color=#808000]Babes let ooh Mpa's pinpon get you laid [/color]

[color=#808000]Ooh Mpa doesn't wait for a girl to show him greenlight cos they're different from the next chick. Ooh Mpa just walks up to you if you flash an eye in his direction twice. Every other thing that follows na ooh Mpa's own greenlight


There's one which they do that make ooh Mpa's boneless bony: biting their lower lips. Ooh Mpa will so feck you [/color]

[color=#808000]Do not say Lmao when God no give you nyash

Marieolae and Mycoli take note [/color]

[color=#808000]Damn, just once a day and you're nagging? Ooh Mpa's exes sometimes do three course meal with his pinpon and a desert to wish him a good morning.....

He isn't doing it right probably while your libido is acting up....Believe Ooh Mpa, if he wants only you every single day and no other, just give him boobs, nyash and pünny. The only problem ooh Mpa sees is you not telling him the how and where you like it

#Teamthreecoursemeal [/color]

[color=#808000]When he positions himself standing with his legs spread apart, you kick with full force all your energy on those balls between those legs and he doesn't wince not raise an eyebrow....



That's definitely a man.... [/color]

[color=#808000]Bros, do this for the pünny....

Your dressing? No problem, reverend father overall fit dey make am wet
Your music? Who knows if she twerks to Don Moen
Your friends? No stumbling block between you and that pünny....

Go ye forth, for once you try and fail, you try try again

#Sai[/color]

[color=#808000]Let's go.....

You love her ✔
She doesn't love you ✔
She get bobo ✔
You spent a lot on her ✔
You no chow anything not even ebola hug ✔ ✔

Bros mozzino, you've been baptised by sister in her friendzone...
Keep acting like a mumu while Ooh Mpa dey find her pünny with hin GPS....[/color]

[color=#808000]So how many times you don wash her undies so far? [/color]

[color=#808000]Rule no 1 of a player....

Once a bïtch comes visiting, you get rid of any evidence. Don't SECURE!!!, DELETE

#Sai[/color]

[color=#808000]Little time, more püssy [/color]

SELENAqueensy: Mtcheeewww

[color=#808000]You're one of those chicks with microscopic boobsie?

Waka pass let's differentiate boy from girl [/color]

[color=#808000]Legally....when you're 18

Officially....immediately you leave sec school

Unofficially...immediately you leave primary school [/color]

[color=#808000]Someone wore bra and skirt to your room more than once and you're asking if you're fake...

Bro, the right question here is "I be Homo"? [/color]

[color=#808000]Why would ooh Mpa delete current, 1 month, 5 yr old ex?

Don't you have feelings for her pünny?

Don't you want to tap that pünny?

Haven't you heard of Okafor's law?

Ooh Mpa got 3 exes at his beck and call [/color]