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OohMpa's Posts

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RomanceRe: Pls Help Me Reconnect With Amaka by OohMpa: 7:16am On Nov 24, 2014
[color=#808000]AMAKA!!! AMAKA!!!!!

Pinopinoguy dey find you. If you hear this, locate here ASAP

Happy? angry[/color]
Music/RadioRe: What Music Are You Listening To Right Now? by OohMpa: 11:09pm On Nov 23, 2014
mayapop:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4YRWT_Aldo


Beyoncé-7/11. This video is cray! more like she's having fun


Shoulders sideways, smack it, smack it in the air
Legs movin' side to side, smack it in the air
Legs movin' side to side, smack you in the air
Shoulders sideways, smack it, smack it in the air
Smack it, smack it in the air
Legs movin' side to side, smack it, smack it in the air
Smack it, smack it in the air

Wave your hands side to side, put it in the air
Wave your hands side to side, put it in the air
Clap, clap, clap like you don't care
Smack that, clap, clap, clap like you don't care
(I know you care)
[color=#808000]Why Ooh Mpa's bae put pampers for her bum?

As a professional nyashologist, Ooh Mpa knows the dimensions of her nyash and her on that white is false negative twerk or without for the past 6 months...sad


@thread, Starting X 2014 by Ed Sheeran all over again smiley[/color]
RomanceRe: Help!!! How Do I Live Happilly With A Wife That Doesn't Like Sex? by OohMpa: 11:01pm On Nov 23, 2014
[color=#808000]Woman no like sex?

Dragons have a chance to exist and dinosaurs will come back from extinction before ooh Mpa will believe this statement...

You know how many times Ooh Mpa has had sex this month ± giving head? The thing don turn morning gym

Ooh Mpa can bet his future Lamborghini that the problem is you and she's taking solace somewhere else: natural or artificial

Women once they start cannot stop ooooo, write it down grin[/color]
RomanceRe: Mr Nairaland [December 2014] Contest Winner - Naijaboiy! by OohMpa: 9:29pm On Nov 22, 2014
macklef:
[size=28pt]E DON DO NAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! IF YOU CARRY FIRST NKOR?

YOUR VOTE OF THANKS GO REACH FRANCE KWANU. undecided undecided[/size]
[color=#808000]Ooh Ooh Mpa's days......grin

Akpors carried first na depending on where you're counting angry[/color]

https://38.media.tumblr.com/ab9434bd851c5c361a7809d72074651f/tumblr_mgbvb6vC9t1rzyljso2_250.gif
RomanceRe: Mr Nairaland [December 2014] Contest Winner - Naijaboiy! by OohMpa: 9:04pm On Nov 22, 2014
@ 50calibre, [color=#808000]bro calm your horses...

Both fine die na, just one had the higher fan base at 5:1
Marieolae, naihaboiy has agreed one night for you to spend at ooh Mpa's for services rendered. No undies allowed angry[/color]
RomanceRe: Mr Nairaland [December 2014] Contest Winner - Naijaboiy! by OohMpa: 5:59pm On Nov 22, 2014
missberrypop5:
My vote goes to Chibwike. I hope i'm not late sadsadsad
[color=#808000]Bia bia, at this crucial time and minute you're giving votes that won't count..

What is wrong with you? angry[/color]
RomanceRe: Mr Nairaland [December 2014] Contest Winner - Naijaboiy! by OohMpa: 1:33pm On Nov 22, 2014
Idowuogbo:
sharrap grin
[color=#808000]Fine chichi dey fall hand oooo sad

Oya take hankie for when the trumpet sounds grin

To others: Don't lose hope, you can still fight for first or second from the back grin[/color]
RomanceRe: Mr Nairaland [December 2014] Contest Winner - Naijaboiy! by OohMpa: 1:20pm On Nov 22, 2014
[color=#808000]Btw, Ooh Mpa votes for kulboy
Cc Dygeasy


If you're a chick and you end up voting someone other than kulboy or Naijaboiy, then your choice of husband should be heard by the village council sad

#Sai[/color]
RomanceRe: Mr Nairaland [December 2014] Contest Winner - Naijaboiy! by OohMpa: 1:05pm On Nov 22, 2014
[color=#808000]Who be that contestant 9 and how e take reach here? grin

The guy resemble Akpors.... grin
Rozzay, come see your match. Happy married life to you two[/color]


https://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130820204929/random-ness/images/8/8c/Hysterical-laugh.gif
RomanceRe: Am bleeped!! ,my Girlfriend Is Pregnant by OohMpa: 11:42pm On Nov 21, 2014
[color=#808000]She don tie you down, Okpo sad

We players always preach safe sex but this boy from otueke with his single digit IQ started his Bsc on stupidity for not loving her, Msc for unpulotected sex and PhD for not taking resiponsible for thisi trap


Let's hope the baby no inherit your genes, Amu angry[/color]
TV/MoviesRe: SPECIAL POWERS: Which Would You Want? by OohMpa: 8:30pm On Nov 21, 2014
[color=#808000]Why not all? angry[/color]

EroticAngelina: 1. Ability to be extraordinarily strong
[color=#808000]To toss people like Eniola Badmus to the bed wink[/color]

2. Ability to be so fast when running
[color=#808000]When she calls saying "Ooh Mpa I need you here now" 5 secs later, he's näked smiley[/color]

3. Ability to be able to read someone's mind
[color=#808000]Ooh Mpa needs this to know if this is green light or another vigil service angry[/color]

4. Ability to be able to shape shift (that is, turn into anybody you like)
[color=#808000]Ooh Mpa: Babe, what's your perfect man?
Babe: 12 inch dïck
Ooh Mpa: Babe, be back
*Ooh Mpa goes to bathroom and comes back 5.5 inch longer* smiley[/color]

5. Ability to make someone do what you want them to do
[color=#808000]Finally, no more 20secs BJ. This head will be given the right way angry[/color]

6. Ability to be extraordinarily good in maths and calculation
[color=#808000]How will this bring pünny? Seriously? angry[/color]

7. Ability to make more copies of yourself( that is, ability to split yourself into two or more yous!)
[color=#808000]Ooh Mpa: the omnipresent, Twosome, party. There'd be enough for ooh Mpa to go around smiley[/color]

8. Ability to be invisible
[color=#808000]You go see one massive conga for road wey dey do sekem sekem and you wanna feel it. You go kpoof, tap am like antenna 6x and call her name. The villagers have finally caught up with her, she says embarassed[/color]
RomanceRe: Pls Should I Trust Her? by OohMpa: 7:55pm On Nov 21, 2014
[color=#808000]33k expensive? undecided


She just dey start homie, she'll move on to 50k then 100k before iPhone 6 all within 6 months....

There's a solution though: She's to visit ooh Mpa on the 6th market day with only pant and bra by 11:59pm with durex on one hand and Vaseline on the other

Do this and she'd stop at Tecno angry
#Sai[/color]
RomanceRe: I Am In Love With A Nairalander !!! Am Obsessed !!!! by OohMpa: 11:29pm On Nov 20, 2014
100accounts:
save urself the unneccesary sweat!! I dont have times for e-fights with e-diots like u!!
i got banned from my major account cus i was stupid enuff to engage in lame n blind fights with a dumb mohfuhka like the one am quoting!
just suckk yur bros dickkk n get ur lame arse to bed!
if u knw d typa guy i am, u wouldnt evn cross my path...
u aint fit enuff, both financially n physically to word wf me!!!
[color=#808000]Guys like you ooh Mpa has for breakfast...grin

We should be the stronger sex, take balls by the hand
Instead this kid opens another moniker to kiss äss

Go ask your mom one last time, if you're the last drop of a used cöndom or you had your dïck removed at birth?

Can't believe ooh Mpa has belittled himself this low to cage this orangutan
Little things we do embarassed[/color]
RomanceRe: I Am In Love With A Nairalander !!! Am Obsessed !!!! by OohMpa: 11:16pm On Nov 20, 2014
100accounts:
he doesnt evn knw wu he z fhuckn n talkn wif!!! He clearly thinks am someone else n clearly, he has been stalkn her , for him to knw all ds infos!
[color=#808000]Who the fück are you? Please pray tell...

Your approach is fücking lame, even a 12 year old virgin could pm a chick...
If only wishes were horses, yours would be a unicorn...
Get to next brothel to save yourself some embarrassment boy


Dimwit sad[/color]
RomanceRe: I Am In Love With A Nairalander !!! Am Obsessed !!!! by OohMpa: 10:54pm On Nov 20, 2014
[color=#808000]Nïgga, STFU

You love the chick, probably using her pic now as a wänking tool, you monitor her posts, you get angry when she says sweet things to other guys, you decided it's enough you needed to come clean...

You opened another mail, registered another moniker with the sole purpose of stalking and quoting her every post
That wasn't enough, you decided to open a thread on her so she'll take you serious
Then in a bid to console the small irredeemable sense you got, you decided to put a NOTE sign on the op to show you don't give a shït which you do 10x over.....

You can't even afford CIROC, let alone haven't puffed cannabis in your entire miserable life. You probably don't know how to compete with other guys, don't know how to talk to girls or look them in the eyes

Here's the truth: You're not in her league, find your kind at Ladipo Market

Pathetic pseud sad

#Signout biatch[/color]


https://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv4y45sI9M1qj0lpf.jpg
RomanceRe: Advice! My Boyfriend Prefers To Remain An 'O' Level Holder. by OohMpa: 10:41pm On Nov 20, 2014
[color=#808000]Na because of free internet you still dey with the guy? angry

Come to Ooh Mpa's room by 11:59pm for free password to his Wi-Fi. Come alone, don't be scared. angry[/color]
RomanceRe: 3 Most Overlooked Qualities Guys Skip When Picking A Girlfriend by OohMpa: 5:43pm On Nov 20, 2014
TheWisest:
1. Is she the type that can suffer with me or drink garri with me? By their lifestyle, you ll know them.

2. Does she have the ability to reflect on her actions, self-correct herself and say I'm sorry when she realizes she was wrong?

3. How likeable is she to everyone apart from you? Do strangers easily like her or are you her only fan or the only one who gets her? This will determine how she gets on with the important people that'll play key roles in your success and life, like your new boss or old time friend.
https://persephonemagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/simba-nala-wtf-faces.gif



[color=#808000]Which kind USMLE question be this?

Even smart bïtches go look you with craze
After all these "great" questions, will it guarantee confident boöbsie and Kardashian type Conga? angry

Give ooh Mpa a wild one, funny one, sexy one, on the spot likable one and most importantly, pünneable one and we won't have a problem smiley
#Sai[/color]
TV/MoviesRe: What Series Are You Watching Now? Part 2 by OohMpa: 9:22pm On Nov 19, 2014
donhils:
How is The Newsroom?
[color=#808000]Imagine say your crush wey set for front and back come see you with bumshot, dey your room dey tease you, you look am up down, carry remote wan continue your film




That film has got to be the newsroom cry[/color]
RomanceRe: Why Do Some Men Kiss And Tell? by OohMpa: 9:11pm On Nov 19, 2014
[color=#808000]Not every time though depends on the girl but when we men have only one reason: to sell their market

If we don't tell, how will they find their spouse?
We talk, men come, they kiss too, they tell too and finally the spouse comes and tori stop


It's the order of nature.....angry[/color]
RomanceRe: Ladies I Think We Should Let Men Cheat by OohMpa: 11:07pm On Nov 13, 2014
mizzkeji44:
Not all men cheats...sum are faithful tho
[color=#808000]Please, save your speech for the virgins

Now write this down, shove it down your rectum if you choose to discard the truth:[/color]


All men have been programmed from birth to cheat

The best the better half can do is to rewrite the code for a while. Eventually, there's a hack and this workaround brings out the dog you've kept on a leash

It's a fact young lady, deal with it angry
SportsRe: The NBA Begins by OohMpa: 8:48am On Nov 12, 2014
PhonesRe: Android, Anyone? Part II by OohMpa: 8:46am On Nov 12, 2014
keandre:
[color=#000030]wadup people,is there any droid app that cn perform lyk power bank?[/color]
https://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/MAD.gif
RomanceRe: Most Awkward Moment With The Opposite Sex by OohMpa: 9:54pm On Nov 10, 2014
mikeson12:
At times I wonder whether all this stuffs you write are actually true or mere fiction.
[color=#808000]Confusing, right as to how a story sounds so true but still so false?

Even sometimes, ooh Mpa doesn't believe these things really happened to him grin[/color]
RomanceRe: Most Awkward Moment With The Opposite Sex by OohMpa: 1:10pm On Nov 10, 2014
[color=#808000]This happened some years ago with ooh Mpa's second sexcapade

After the föreplay which was one long ministry, ooh Mpa took off her panties as she spread both legs apart in the missionary position..

Ooh Mpa was looking at the Congo and was wowed by its anatomy, ugly yet so magnificent, rough yet so smooth. He stared for minutes and this one confuse the babe wey her konji level don dey drop. She come shout "Ooh Mpa ogini, enter na"

Now your boy was confused which was the hole, he's staring at three holes and no know which one e be. He no wan ask the babe cos he don brag say he no be virgin (the first was solely riding so no holes were shown) and don make noise say he be expert for holes. Ooh Mpa, you shoulda shut up cry

Ooh Mpa regained his sense, did timbo timbo which hole hin be. The God of timbo timbo selected the urethral meatus sad With all force and hubris, ooh Mpa started his 6.5 inch mace onto the urine hole. Na so the thing no gree enter, ooh Mpa was feeling his caterpillar was too big for this Ekpoma chick cünt and grinning like say nairabet don pay am. The next thing that interrupted the smile was a thunderous whoosh of piss like spray wey bath person. The next na Sango hand for hin left cheek. Ooh Mpa didn't recognize time, person and place for 65mins

#Sai[/color]
RomanceRe: Miss Nairaland December 2014 Winner: Jennimma! by OohMpa: 9:44pm On Nov 08, 2014
Sweetlemon:
Awww. Miss NL now has sponsors. That's good. Little by little, una go get there.

If only people will just learn to vote sincerely instead of popularity. What in the name of all that is sacred is Rozzay in top 5huhhuhhuhhuh I don't just gerrit! This pageant has the potentials to go places and gain media recognition if only some follow follow people will just remember that this is a damn beauty contest and not a popularity contest. Habatically! You are scaring the real pretty ones away with all these your sentimental voting. Organizers, the ball is in your court.
[color=#808000]Sis, she be 2nd runner up embarassed[/color]


https://38.media.tumblr.com/ab9434bd851c5c361a7809d72074651f/tumblr_mgbvb6vC9t1rzyljso2_250.gif
RomanceRe: Miss Nairaland December 2014 Winner: Jennimma! by OohMpa: 9:39pm On Nov 08, 2014
[color=#808000]Mackclef and Ikekings, cool it. You don't need the results to appraise Vivly....

Ooh Mpa already knew the results. He knew Jenni was for it with her whole band et al but he kept on
Slowly, she moved up and people started realising how beautiful she was. If there was another round, Vivly would simply win...

She won people over with her witty smile, her courtesy, her definition of beauty, her Einstein answers and determination.
She made voters break promises to their friends, swayed friends over to her side and made guys use her pictures in bedroom angry
She never started on a level ground but she got to the stars
That's what makes her Ooh Mpa's queen


If you're reading this Vivly, smile, bow out with a befitting, head banging, mouth watering, earth shattering, smart and ovational speech...
Congrats, Vivly, you're the best NL pünny ooh Mpa never had

Blow ooh Mpa a goodnight kiss smiley[/color]
RomanceRe: Miss Nairaland December 2014 Winner: Jennimma! by OohMpa: 6:25pm On Nov 08, 2014
idu1:
make i vote ooh mpa girlfriend...... I vote vivly
[color=#808000]May the insane gods of pünny slap you with enough pünny till you lost for one
May they dugbe with enough Congo till you see one and run to the opposite side...
May your mace of dominions never lack activity and May your rubber finish with extreme staining...

Receive it brother...smiley[/color]
TV/MoviesRe: What Series Are You Watching Now? Part 2 by OohMpa: 6:22pm On Nov 08, 2014
Fourcade:
I sometimes post on 'the music you are listening to' thread . . .You liked some set of rock,alternative tracks i posted.You offered a beer anytime i'm in Nnewi.grin

It's been long sha. . .probably before you changed your monicker grin
[color=#808000]The offer is still on brother...

Would swing one or two pünnies of your taste if need be smiley[/color]
RomanceRe: Miss Nairaland December 2014 Winner: Jennimma! by OohMpa: 6:00pm On Nov 08, 2014
henry9dayz:
I feel like a betrayer_But sorry my conscience will prick me forever if I don't do the right thing angry

I VOTE FOR VIVLY!


[color=#808000]May pünny always find you in abundance. You'll get person like Vivly but not her angry


Ladies and gents, not about popularity but doing the right thing like he did. If you're capable of typing any other thing except from that beauty with brains with charisma in name of Vivly, then you're capable of smuggling drugs via the anüs across the border...

#Justsayin cool[/color]
RomanceRe: Miss Nairaland December 2014 Winner: Jennimma! by OohMpa: 5:39pm On Nov 08, 2014
[color=#808000]Guys...It's enough angry


Time to take your hands off your shaft, carry your akamu hands and vote Vivly...
Put your hands back and continue screaming "Oh Vivly" cool

Ladies too angry[/color]
TV/MoviesRe: What Series Are You Watching Now? Part 2 by OohMpa: 5:35pm On Nov 08, 2014
Fourcade:
Haven't been here for a while. . . cheesy

OohMpa i'm with you on The Newsroom!.It's been a long wait for this final season.I've watched and rewatched the two seasons and still ain't tired.Hope the final Season wraps everything up well.

P.S: Hope you remember you owe me one! grin
[color=#808000]Ooh Mpa is blank on that aspect..

Help your boy help you to help him cry[/color]
RomanceRe: Miss Nairaland December 2014 Winner: Jennimma! by OohMpa: 4:00pm On Nov 08, 2014
[color=#808000]People still voting?

They should end this thing and give it to Vivly
Contest is when you're on par with your rivals....
Mauling is when you're at level 10 and your rivals barely reach the 5 mark

Vivly, take some selfies, let's end this thing...cool[/color]

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