₦airaland Forum

[color=#808000]Hey mate, you did what your fellow humans couldn't do...

You went from a "Friendzonee" to a "friendzoner"....

#Sai[/color]

[color=#808000]Girls love guys that can slow wind. It turns them on....

Chicks don't say no when we both slow wind to R.Kelly. The way the tempo moves with the rhythm of the waist movements together with ooh Mpa's skills leave them asking "Can we continue in your bedroom?" Every single fücking time....



#Sai [/color]

Ohwhy: Hmmm

[color=#808000]Why you put Danhumphrey in friendzone?

See the way he's smiling with open 32 teeth just because you say "hmmm" [/color]

Bootybuttchic: they are many but let me say this one
it was during one of my birthdays,18 years to be precise,i was frustrated and kinda down during dat week,and i started crying a day to my birthday cos i felt my birthday was going to be boring,like it wud pass me by just like dat,and ma mum who promised to take me out was angry with me,and i gt bounced....so i was angry,sad and was cryinh,boyfreeind cald me and i wasnt happy so was passing my agression,he didnt even gt angry and was still cheering me up but i no gree...and we are far apart now,different states and he was in school.....all in all i cried till i slept.....fastforward to the next day....woke up to start receiving strange calls ....hello bbc,my name is ****+,just wantd to wish u apy buffday,pls be happy bla bla....ur bf's cuzzin .....another calld and was just singing for me,many of his colleagues where calling too..and he kept calling tooo......one of my happiest birthdays alas
another he gave me the gift his grandmum gave him many years back....a diary,nuttin has ever been written on it,but dat day when he gave me he opened it and wrote "i love u" in d mid page and told me to write same ....i was so shy had to close my eyes to write it .......
the saddest thing is my freind he was using as an alarina,stole that diary from my bag ...till i see her again,i promise to whoop her asss......she must vomit it out

[color=#808000]Sweery, You no tell ooh Mpa you're upcoming actress....
He'd have given you better romance movies [/color]

rozzay: Una neva start be dat oo, once u guys r into each oda seriously messing is no big deal, u mess nd she says well done honey nd wen she mess u reply thank u my love. Simple

[color=#808000]Guys on pünny hunting, this is the chick for you....

You won't buy chicken and shawarma anymore, just beans [/color]

[color=#808000]Poster bro, you better leave that chick

Your height gene went through mutation, so did hers. Do you know what mutation² go be for your pikin? The guy legs fit show for passport

From today, let Aki and Pawpaw be your mentors. They're very smart

#Sai [/color]

sexyjessy: uh hell to the no..

[color=#808000]Ermmmm...sweery, try get the date first before you go follow open nyash dey shout "Hell No".[/color]

[color=#808000]If it's black Jesus, then fück dem bïtches and paper. We gonna smoke some joint together....


If it's white Jesus, ooh Mpa will slap his face with the #50[/color]

[color=#808000]This movie script won't befit our nollywood actors.

Have you tried Bollywood? Who knows, you might win an Oscar[/color]

Harbosede02: He kissed my fore head lyk in front of d whole world....

[color=#808000]Your pastor doesn't count [/color]

cc150615: You sound pained, Btw when he mentioned dead kids he was talking about the past abortions not about still borns ok?

[color=#808000]Lmao...

Why will ooh Mpa be pained over one's bs posts? His reasoning is so stupid that even the abortion part makes no pro point for being a virgin.

And he still talks BS, equating a non-virgin to an ashawo. Who knows? Ooh Mpa might have even laid coochie on his sister

What pathetic losers you two are [/color]

jmoore: 1- Virgins are brand-new, untouched. I get to commission her.

[color=#808000]Ultimate BS! She'd have been sucked and kissed from the top to bottom. The brand new you must be talking about must be Mary Amaka[/color]

jmoore: 2- No abortion, I don't want to marry the mother of dead children

[color=#808000]Amount of BS in this post is too damn high. Who said being a virgin would guarantee safe delivery and promiscuity would guarantee still birth?[/color]

jmoore: 3- I don't want to see her ex releasing a new album titled "I hit her first".

[color=#808000]And what if the virgin ex releases his own. Will you still believe she's a virgin?[/color]

jmoore: 4- Free from Stds.

[color=#808000]That's If she never experienced cunninligüs or fëllatio[/color]

jmoore: 5- It is a sign of self-control which means she has a higher chance to remain faithful when married to you.

[color=#808000]Super BS! Ooh Mpa can give you names from the back of his head of cheating spouses that were virgins. Were did you cook this insane BS from? [/color]

jmoore: 6- An Incredible Wedding Day and Night + honeymoon.

[color=#808000]Pray tell how pushing one's hymen in to exude virginal blood makes your wedding night incredible.[/color]

jmoore: 7- A great role model for our kids.

[color=#808000]How does this BS relate to the topic? You'll let the world know about your wife's personality just for kids to get half inspired. You're amazing[/color]

[color=#808000]If by raw you mean telling a girl directly you wanna fück her, the only pünny you'll see in your life will be with Mama RVD at the hotel

If by raw you mean normal gist filled with vulgarity and shared sex experiences, most girls love that kind of guy

#Sai[/color]

[color=#808000]Technically, infidelity is justified only within a marriage....

You don't own her when you guys are dating, so what he/she does is clearly "legal". You may choose to leave....like you're gonna marry her anyway OR
You may choose to place that äss in front of your crötch and ram it in


Ladies are pathetic, pünnies ain't loyal outside marriage. The best you can do to that pünny is to make her think you're loyal

#Sai[/color]

Bootybuttchic: *sniffs hand*chisos.....u shlda included ur job in dat thread of worst jobs.....dont tell me u scrape pubs

Liability: *shows her my hands*talk to my hands

[color=#808000]You girls need to be punished. Get into Ooh Mpa room and shut the door.....

*pulls down pants* [/color]

[color=#808000]Wetin be "experienced advice please"?

Sorry, NL guys aren't magas. We don't even think, we kick äss....

Go find your "experienced ones" somewhere else[/color]

1one: If you're gonna talk smack.. Please leave Jesus out of it because he's not your mate. You obviously have very little understanding in that blocked head of yours for you to call a beautifully crafted creation of God a bittch. If by happenstance you're talking from familiar experience having come from a family of bittch sisters et al. it would be worthy to note that not all families are made up of bitcches like yours. Let me reiterate the crux of this post, Incase your blocked head can't seem to comprehend-Leave Jesus out of your smack talk. He's not your mate. Be cool

[color=#808000]With all your rants, the only thing ooh Mpa noticed was you saying more bïtches and Jesus.......


Sense must be a recessive gene in your family. Don't hurt yourself cos it skipped you[/color]

Rahmas: Can't wait too see the poem. And thanks for the compliments you'all. I appreciate.

[color=#808000]That face no be for here ooooo

You sure say you no be from Oji River? [/color]

naijaboiy: Investment ko
Na business

[color=#808000]Jesus said to Adam "Go ye forth and multiply" clearly meaning we men have the responsibility of having as many bïtches as can be without any stress...

Now you 21st century lots are giving us the stress more in kind than the line of Terah to Jesus

And here you bïtches come again asking God to make men invest in our own duties

4 words for you: STORY FOR THE GODS!!!![/color]

Nastydroid: @op why is it always your friend?

[color=#808000]Good question

How convenient for her friends to tell her to ask NL about their divergent lives .[/color]

NickyPearl: If he's;

Understanding
Tolerant
Sweet talker
Caring
Respectful


Lest I forget if his hands are open

[color=#808000]Sweetie you just found the man of your dreams....


Ooh Mpa will understand when you moan in tongues during kpanshing

Ooh Mpa will be tolerant if you want to go another round

Ooh Mpa will sweet talk you to always be at the top but not the bottom

Caring, ooh Mpa is caring for your body right now

Ooh Mpa will respect your boobsy and won't let them obey gravity

And finally, ooh Mpa has open hands that can accommodate all your female friends

So what say you? [/color]

kossydiba: we don't spend much time 2geda cuz of mi work nd d kind of home she is frm. We mostly hv little time to spend 2geda at most twice a month. Nd I don't leave alone so I fear she might nt like d idea of going 2 a hotel or another frnds house cuz of he family up bringing. Dats y am tinkin of asking her abt it in a polite way

[color=#808000] Okay, this will suffice:

"Babe, we've been kissing for the past 6 months and it's time to upgrade the status. Can I please see your bwest and you see my kpontum. After we see each other thing, can we have sex?

Please? Pretty please" [/color]

[color=#808000]Prostitute is a very heavy word, mate.. It denotes the direct exchange of money for service rendered

Club girls are simply just "dïck hunters" with most of them not realizing it.
If you think Ooh Mpa is lying, you can ask him if there was ever a time he left a club without a pack of condoms being used that night[/color]

[color=#808000]Poster bro, you mean those bebes carrying akpako and jumping around in the beach while drowning people?

#Seconded [/color]

[color=#808000]Hold up....

Education status- You no go go school before? You wan speak Idoma when ooh Mpa wan chyke you?

Finances- Well, most don't work for this. They rely on the opposite sex

Intellect- Bro please, you and ooh Mpa know the only thing coding in a bîtch's brain is Brazilian hair, Mary Kay and kpansh....

So ladies, just pack enough boobsy and bootay then you, ooh Mpa and the bed won't have a problem.....

#Sai [/color]

[color=#808000]She's not picking your calls?

Better run to her apartment and ask her if she don shït. If so, enter soak away pit find am.....

Foolish bwoi wanting to pull a Hollywood tale
Here resemble U.S.? [/color]

Teespice: SEe this one.

Smh for you.

[color=#808000]You never cüm, you don dey shake head...

What if ooh Mpa made you cüm, what will then happen? [/color]

ziggy44: oooooohMpa ke ncha bu omo!biko apu di nwa.Nwa pino pino ko bu

[color=#808000]Nwa hapu ifa...

isokwa ndi otu anaghi agwa umu nwanyi eziokwu?
Nwa di ka ekuke [/color]