₦airaland Forum

[color=#808000]A waste of pünny [/color]

[color=#808000]All these your jagbajantic definitions....

Serious relationship= Pünny within marriage

Ordinary relationship= Pünny outside marriage

As ooh Mpa no dey married, na prophet go tell you say he wan serious? [/color]

Sarimah: Nah... I haven't

[color=#808000]Time to be nice.....

Sarimah, how's your pünny doing? [/color]

Sarimah: y r u lyk dis?

[color=#808000]Ooh Mpa has your photos that can make Linda buy two more Range Rover....

Come, let ooh Mpa palpate your nyash to make sure it's not pillow in there [/color]

Sarimah: Don't even wanna think bout it

[color=#808000]Sweery, come to Ooh Mpa's house at 11:59pm with only bumshots or Linda Ikeji would right get richer this night [/color]

Sarimah: wen did u change ur name to professional?

[color=#808000]Who else were you thinking of?

Professional + Pünny= Ooh Mpa [/color]

Justeenaleo: I love the write up

[color=#808000]Justeen, it's your time of the week [/color]

Sarimah: I don't need a novice..a professional is way better.

[color=#808000]Ooh Mpa heard his name and came calling...

When and where do you want it? [/color]

[color=#808000]You better carry your nyash to his flat and ask for forgiveness and offer him pünny....

You checked his phone....WRONG!!!
You stalked him in school.....WRONG!!!!
He told you in a calm manner and you got angry.....WRONG!!!

You should be happy you're in top 30, that's gf material
Go back and ask him what position you're in. If it's top 10, don't hesitate to give him pünny [/color]

[color=#808000]Even if you ask a 5 year old with downs syndrome, he surely knows the answer to this "very smart" question[/color]

[color=#808000]A device to detect virginity and number of guys have entered....

Would just come close, say hi with the device hidden and brought near the pünny, it'll read and through a bt headset would relay the info:

"WARNING!!!! Ekaette is a virgin and hasn't even been fïngered" - This is jump and pass

"WARNING!!!! Ekaette was just entered last night and has been seen by 52 guys" -This ain't a pünny anymore but a hole, another jump and pass....

"Ekaette ain't a virgin and her pünny is as tight as Theresa's own"- Operation cüninlingus

#Sai[/color]

marieolae: when?

[color=#808000]That night you gonna be on your bed feeling wanton and the first name that pops into your head will be ooh Mpa

Trust me, ooh Mpa will be there ready...[/color]

marieolae: oya let's huff and puff jorr

[color=#808000]Maybe some other night bae. She promised Ooh Mpa a 69

But that night is gonna come and will be the night of the new you [/color]

marieolae: ommpha ur high sha

[color=#808000]Got some THC rolled up and ready to puff. Ooh Mpa would happily dismiss this chick to share it with you....

What say you? [/color]

[color=#808000]Yes, this is statistically correct....

Ooh Mpa gets more chicks when he keeps skodo than when he contemplates on his new haircut

plus marieolae loves slapping ooh Mpa's gorimpapa while bedding. It turns her on...[/color]

https://www.memecreator.org/static/images/memes/1979782.jpg






[color=#808000]That's Spanish version of "You got small dïck and I can't tell the difference if you have an ërection. So I'm gonna be fücking a big dïck for the mean time while you foot bills"[/color]

[color=#808000]Sweetie, make no mistake your heart is covered by your pericardium behind your bwest and at the thoracic cavity

What he needs right now is pünny. Don't hesitate to give [/color]

[color=#808000]These are signs of an ugly babe dating a fine bobo....

This kind of chick would slap you if you even talk to the sister....
Biko, call and call for your life is at stake. Make it 5x a day and call at 5hrs intervals...

Remember, the ugly ones have nothing to lose.... [/color]

[color=#808000]The women of course, most especially the small boobsie ones like temigracie

The longer they keep a hug going, the more they want you to realize if you dey felt her microscopic boobsie even for one second. This boosts their small boobsie self esteem.....Trust Ooh Mpa [/color]

1) What was the last book you read?

[color=#808000]The Mystery Of The Pünny by Okafor [/color]

2)How Old will you be at your next birthday?
[color=#808000]8 in pünny years[/color]

3) What do you love more than anything
[color=#808000]See question. What else? Pünny [/color]

4)What is your song of the week
[color=#808000]Pünny Anthem composed by Amanda and specially dedicated to ooh Mpa [/color]

5)Do you still watch cartoons?
[color=#808000]No, even the pünny is animated [/color]

6)Have you ever gotten into a fight?
[color=#808000]Yes, pillow fight for 2 yesterday. Marie, ooh Mpa loves you [/color]

7)Favourite food?
[color=#808000]Pünny juice and bwest milk [/color]

8 Are you lazy?
[color=#808000]Do you know the energy ooh Mpa spends everyday lifting chicks to his bedroom? [/color]

9)Are you afraid of heights
[color=#808000]Yes, the day ooh Mpa wan feck for balcony, he faint [/color]

10)Zodiac sign:
[color=#808000]Gemini, always 2 [/color]

11) Favorite thing ever:
[color=#808000]Big Bootay [/color]

12) Can you die for anyone?
[color=#808000]Yes, ooh Mpa mama for letting him through to see the light [/color]

13)Ever been in love?
[color=#808000]Yes, in fact ooh Mpa would text his 6 gfs now[/color]

14)Do you miss anyone right now
[color=#808000]Yes, anything on skirt[/color]

15)Who was the last person to call you?
[color=#808000]Sade and Adu on Ooh Mpa's two phones booking appointments for tomorrow [/color]

16)Last crush?
[color=#808000]Can't really be specific. They were like 10 skirts at once [/color]

17)If you could have one super power what would it be?
[color=#808000]Ability to call any name and she'll appear with legs spread apart [/color]

18)What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant
other
[color=#808000]Her lips with tongue then the pünny [/color]

19)can you go bungee jumping?
[color=#808000]Yes, if a pünny is with me....[/color]

20)most stressful thing you've ever done
[color=#808000]Trying to lift Eniola Badmus size to the bed [/color]

marieolae: Very funny

[color=#808000]Sweery, what's your statistics let ooh Mpa know if the thongs he picked out for you are the perfect undersize?.[/color]

[color=#808000]Funny thing is most guys think we spend a lot for only one thing the girl can offer....sex

But they don't know they spend a lot to get the first sex then spend little to get the rest of the sessions. Girls actually do more of the chasing from there on...


*Ooh Mpa goes back to spelling the letters of the alphabet with his tongue on his girl's pünny* [/color]

[color=#808000]8. Get a cane and flog her bum, if it vibrates, tell her she's a good twerker...She must fück you that night

If it echoes, tell her you're an amazing äss clapper, she must fück you that night....

If it reverberates and rebounds on your face, tell her you got a great future behind you, she must have a 3some with you that night.....

Thank ooh Mpa later
#Sai[/color]

[color=#808000]Ooh Mpa and his chicks argue a lot....

Just yesterday, we're arguing over dïck size. She said she wanted 10 inches and ooh Mpa said his 9.99 inch is enough to make her cumm. She said it's a lie and we continued arguing until she succumbed to a round of ecstasy with ooh Mpa. She came within 30 mins.....


















Now we're now arguing over smaller dïcks....[/color]

[color=#808000]Bro, you can start telling God to mould one for you cos this person hasn't be created.....

Spend more time with soap and engine oil cos pünny you won't see [/color]

[color=#808000]And so? What should we do with this info?

What if boyfriend#2 and boyfriend#3 are on nl? You wan spoil her market?
What if ooh Mpa wants to fulfill all righteousness with her pünny? Don't you know you're making things harder to hit her now?

Foolish bwoi [/color]

HonourablePomk: 1..What if i ate at home before going with her?
2..What if i sent the card to her and she spent it calling me and it finished and i still used mine to call her till its finished then by 10pm when the people selling card has closed i need it to make an urgent call?
3..Yes i know most dudes who dont fancy phones
4..not possible
5..Yes because i dont fancy phones i already subscirbes for my wifi
6..What if its a sunny day and i feel like eating it?
lastly...

OP GO AND SLEEP

[color=#808000]Chai....
"What if?" rants of a typical MMS [/color]

[color=#808000]Bro, leave the story for the gods...

Did you hit the pünny or not? [/color]

[color=#808000]Long ago before ooh Mpa became a player, he's at a park with his friends, chatting, drinking beer and guffawing
Suddenly, he noticed a girl with her friend in one of dem garden seats silently reading a novel. Na so ooh Mpa leave talk, dey eye the babe so. Both eyes met and there were glances that showed interest.

His friend noticed and brought it to the group's attention whence there was a lot of talk on her. It's then decided that ooh Mpa should approach this babe since he already had a thing for her. Moreso, the chick stole more glances and at same time smiling.

With the alcohol intoxication and group cheers, a once shy ooh Mpa garnered courage, stood up and walked majestically to her. She raised her head when ooh Mpa approached her. On reaching there, he froze and looked impassive as if he were having a blunted affect. After 30 secs of silence, he gathered some words and spoke these words verbatim:[/color]

So you can read?

[color=#808000]Nice script....

Let Ooh Mpa act as the guy but you need to change the script small [/color]

[color=#808000]Tell him to tell his friend to tell him about what you want to tell him even if he can't tell him cos his friend is telling him that you want to tell him about the tale of you two even if the tail of the tale is not worth telling even to a teller...


Trust ooh Mpa, this will work [/color]