She is coming to you fast . . . to propose! ! ! L O L Z

@moremi2008, the fact that even those regarded as "holy" perform abortion does not make it right!!! The fact that it is common here and there does not make it right. This lady has come to this forum obviously because she is thinking of the abortion-way out. I will say it again, ABORTION IS MURDER.

@moremi2008, please do not refer to my God as a god of abortions because He is NOT!
He is the God of love, God of life, who loves children! And He sure says no to abortion. What would have happened to the full grown adult if his/her mother had aborted him/her when a foetus. Please do not use senseless and baseless statements to defend yourself. I have seen your trend on nl, you like to incite people. You can incite me, but dont call God names, He is not your match.

Busy_body:


Yes it is sheer hard work, especially if only you have to do it alone, but most of your married counterpart too have to do it alone, cos most Naija man's hand turns to plastic when it comes to looking after babies and they are clueless when it comes to which end to stick the bottle in and which end poo comes out of, lol.

Thank you! lol!

Who says abortion will not bring fire and brimstone from God? ? ? ? Wait until judgement day. Every bad deed has a consequence believe it or not. This one, this a GRAVE ONE. Abortion is a sin, it is murder!!! You have no right to take a person's life. You have already done the deed by conceiving this child. All of you in support of abortion be ready to answer to God on the last day that you supported the unfair killing of an innocent, blameless, spotless creation of God. 

@OP, having a child definitely changes your life. I would advise you to keep this pregnancy, but prepare your mind for the rigorous journey. The man that wants to marry you, if he truly loves you then he would accept you with the pregnancy.

queensmith:

^^erm the baby is already born, and grown?

Whoa if queensmith can make a reference to a statement without **vomitting**, it's indeed a good day. Lol.

I know the "baby" is grown but I think the OP would understand where I'm coming from.

One big mistake we make in this generation is living your life to impress others. When you are over that, then you will truly move on with what you are meant to do in this life.

@OP,

Your last post contains a bit more information than your first post. Sorry to hear about your mum.

I don't think your problem is that your husband wants you stop working because I think we both know that from your history, it would be the "wise" decision to put your health first. Your issue is that you don't want to answer housewife.

@OP
Very complicated situation after reading all these posts.
This is a lesson to never ever mock someone's situation, because you do not know what life will dish out for you tomorrow in spite of all the struggles (has happened to me).

Here is my own two cents.

Talk to someone in your life that you know has always given you unbiased advice, like your mother.
You need to share and talk with someone.

Then ultimately pray to God about this. You sound like your plans have always been to further your career. Maybe you need time to convince and sway your husband to understand your own personal aspirations in life.  Or like many have suggested, you can start a business, in your field, and that time "at home" would not be wasted because you have created something which you can call your own. We have all found ourselves in uncomfortable situations in life, but you just have to adjust. This thing called marriage requires a lot of patience and sacrifice.

The decision is still yours which can have good or bad consequences.

A & B.

baby.me:

I have one who ask where u bought every item you put on, and the price! What d heck!

Watch out for that type, they would be competing with you soon.

@OP
This same matter of August 2010?
Find another story, this one is almost 2 years old.

Nice topic. It seems I may be more introverted than I thought.

Help me tell them @OP. it is really pathetic.
The other day I was at a children's event and in walked a mother of 3 ( youngest being abt 3 mths old) wearing a dress that simply covered her b.u.m and stopped there. I just could not understand it. I almost took a snap shot of her and her n.a.k.e.d.n.e.s.s. This was most annoying because it was a children's event. Come tomorrow children would not know the difference between good and the bad.
It is very very unnecessary for women/girls to dress this way.

Can you just imagine Obasanjo? How did he help to fix all these things during his own time?
My people dont mind him o. We do not have to resort to violence for things to work in this country. We only need to weed out all the bad egg that have kept us from progressing.

All these are long story. The best punishment is death. Then you will see Nigeria sit up for real.

The roots of our problems are: selfishness and greed.

@OP

You need to pick yourself up. I think your problem is laziness need but your can overcome it by pushing yourself. You need to push yourself.

If your degree is not working out for you in Nigeria, you need to find something else that interests you that can make you some money. Get yourself TOTALLY involved in it. Do not wait for anybody to help you, no matter how small it is. With dedication and hardwork, it can grow. I think you father needs to see you work hard for something.

This is what I will call interference. It is never healthy in a marriage. It is best to leave husband & wife alone (especially in the first few years of marriage).

You need to make your wife understand that even if she thinks her dad means no harm, that he is indeed harming your relationship.

I too was wondering where he was.

I also think that he is hiding something. The scanner saw something in his stomach and this is the second time that he has been caught. Why on earth would a normal person refuse to eat? Tell me, who eats once in three days? Sentiments aside, these are clear facts that raises suspision.

The picture is photoshopped, the shoulders are unproportional to the whole body.

I heard you get flogged silly when you want to leave the church before service ends. The congregation usually stays from morning till 5-7pm.

Pathetic, we are really heading no where if the police cannot protect us.

You need to make a distinction between what you feel for the Ugandan and your girl. Set the new feelings aside if you know it is not good for you. If you really love your girl then you cannot afford to be falling for another person, not matter how long you spend together. Find those things you cherish about your girl and think about them when you are with the Uganda. You also need to reduce the amount of time you spend with her. My 2 cents.

Tom & Jerry any time any day!

@mummy3, I honestly bow for you. From VI to Ejigbo? It aint easy what you are doing. And the fact that you leave your kids at home everyday and hope they would always be ok. . .

It is also good that you have established a balance in your busy lifestyle. I am sure it was tougher before now. Thank God for your understanding husband.

The truth is that this not only happens in Nigeria but also awomen abroad go through this. They are hardly home to tend to the kids or husband. They have to work to make ends meet. If you want to give your kids the best, sitting at home wont get you there.

I am glad to read that you are moving. There is no reason to put yourself through the strees of traffic. If you have a good job then you can afford to live closer to your place of work.

This also explains the madness that Lagos drivers exhibit driving. It is just crazy!

@OP,

Do you even have any idea what your mum and dad would be going through? I am sure they did not plan to have a child after 19yrs. Listen, it's not easy to have that much gap between kids. It is tough!
You should be supportive of them because they are also feeling what you are feeling. After all you are a family and in 20yrs time that child will be your responsibility as your parents would have aged.

BTW, my younger one came 18 yrs after me.

You are certainly right OP.

Indeed marriage is wonderful. And the devil hates this union so much and threatens it with ups and downs.

And like someone said above, you reap what you sow. Sowing love and forgiveness is a good start!

Lisa, you need to let go. Forgiveness actually means freeing yourself and moving on with your life. You can testify that when you hold a grudge against someone, it holds you back from doing certain things - moving on with your life and focusing on more important things. You will not realise it until you let go.
I know that in your culture, justice is paramount but since this man is in Nigeria and far away from you and your home, your laws may not apply in Nigeria. Things are just different over here. The best thing is to be careful and inform your friends, family and everyone you know so they wont make such mistakes.
You made a mistake, lost your house and money and everything, dont dwell on it. You can still make something out of your life.
It has been two years since you started this thread. Have you recovered anything substantial? I am not saying that you should forget what he did, but find it in your heart to forgive and let go, move on with your life. He is just but one man in the midst of many.

Such people like Don will definitely get the reward for their actions. KARMA will definitely catch up with him. So don't worry about making him pay because he will, that is if he is not already.

atasteve:

Any time the balance is not maintained, chaos is inevitable!

There is no basis for indecent dressing at all.

^^^Well said.

N101:

Someone who is wealthy isn't high maintenance.

Neither is high maintenance a woman who can afford to buy whatever brand name she chooses (men do the same, let's not kid ourselves)

High maintenance are those whose lust for things is bigger than their pockets.

Well said!!!

Your life is already complicated as it is now. Marrying another wife will make it even more complicated. And at the end of the day, you will suffer for all the wahala you brought on yourself. You will never have peace in your home.

Second marriages come with a lot of baggage and you need to be able to accept them from day one. Demanding your wife to go through another pregnancy and delivery after 4 c-sections is totally unfair. It simply shows you do not love her. Please do not put her through this. She is totally wrong by not informing you about this at the begining, but that is it, a baggage.

The both of your entered this union with your own different selfish intentions. She is obviously more experienced and is securing her children very well for tomorrow. Which shows that for some reason she does not trust you. Aside from the infidelity, is there some other way you have wronged this woman?

No marriage is perfect. No human being can give you all the love and comfort you need in this life. Only God can do that. You may have made some wrong decisions or choices in your life but throwing them away and going for ready made ones will not end your mistakes. You have to learn from them (while dealing with them), turn around and amend your ways.

Since you are hurting so much, why not go to God with this. Pick up your Bible (i.e. if you are a Christian). Let your past mistakes not discourage you. God really accepts us with our baggage and all. Get your wife involved as well, you should both take your baggages to God. He alone can give you true peace!

I pray the woman and her unborn child survives this ordeal.

Depending on the situation you find yourself in, you always have to adjust. These kids can be put into cheaper schools (or if the situation is very bad a public school which is free in Lagos) while mother and father continues to find ways to earn something instead of staying at home. Apart from the school fees, I am sure they will have to cater for their other needs: rent, feeding etc. In a nutshell, you need to ensure the money is used well.

Whether you decide to give the money to him or to the church as tithe, you need to talk to your God about it. Since He alone can judge you, you must communicate to him.