₦airaland Forum

oladcity: I could not but feel concerned about your story, anyone in your shoes will act that way because our pasts have a way of influencing our actions, however, I'll say you should focus more on teaching your children how to tell you everything that happens to them while you are not around. This could be by telling them stories of your own outings (sensored) and then asking them to tell you theirs. In addition you need to make them feel secured about telling you things.
Then I think you need to tell your husband exactly why you are scared so he can understand your situation. I'm sure he made that statement in ignorance.
I'm still going to inform a friend of mine that has children about the same age as your's who told he has been able to train his daughter (2.5yrs) on such issues, he might be able to give more practical approaches.
And lastly pray to God earnestly to protect them because you can only do so much.

Thanks 4 ur advise, would appreciate ur friend's input. As for my hubby, he is aware of my past. i told him before we got married cos i wanted explain my reluctance in allowing relations live permanently in our future home.

maclatunji: In this world that we live in, I can hardly say any parent is paranoid. However, you need to have an open mind. If you see something that you think is wrong pertaining to your children, intervene. If you are imagining it, calm down and observe carefully if your fears are genuine or it is you that is being edgy.

Let your children grow normally and teach them gradually sensitive parts of their body and for them to tell you when someone touches them there. Try to relax.

Thank you maclatunji for the advise. Its just that my hubby makes it look like am making a mountain out of a mole. And my 2yr old's vocab is still so limited so trying to teach is gonna be difficult. He is at that stage wer he enjoys pulling off his diaper running abt naked. Visitors re still trooping 2 my house cos of new baby so am so uptight.
Will try 2 relax.

Hi all, i really need advise from mature family people.
I was molested from age 4 so much by the numerous cousins, uncles n family friends that usually troop to our house. Being d last child in an all girls family my sisters were much older than me so i could not confide in them.
Now am happily married with 2 young sons and am sooo scared that they may suffer what i went thru. The fear is so great that i cringe sliently each time any grown up (apart from me n my hubby) gets playful wit my kids esp my first child who is just 2.
I ve stopped my Help from giving him a bath n changing his diaper. My hubby wants him 2 move 2 his own room but am too scared 2 allow it.
Recently my hubby angrily made a comment that if i was molested as a kid that he was not so i should let my son be ( this was cos his friend was kissing him (my son) and i whispered dat hubby should stylishly call our son away)
Am really at my wits end cos am nursing a one month old baby n trying 2 also protect them. It has't been easy.
Am i worrying my self unecessarily, abi am going insane.
How do i teach my 2yr old whom i ve noticed loves 2 play wit adults, how 2 tell mama if any foul play occurs.
Kindly advice.

good riddance 2 bad rubbish!! Madam, enof already! go take care of ur daughter or better still go for Omugwo . ONWA!!

Onochie is a nice one! Grandma loph can also name him Obiajulu.

Wow! Nice!

My dear, what you re going through is normal. Believe me d grass is not always greater at d other side.
I personally don't ve regret for anything in my life cos i believe its 4 my good. What does't kill u makes u stronger.
It is well! As u get 2 knw n understand ur spouse better ur ex would be a non issue. Cheers

bc of d slight delay i had i was glad i had a son 1st at least make pressure ease off from my in-laws. But dis my 2nd baby am prayin its gonna b a gurl. Can't wait 2 ve someone 2 dress up. A mini me!
But any how i go still dey grateful

She should stick to her hubby n ask ques. I have an aunt that was sent packing cos she ate chicken gizzard instead of giving it to her hubby Lol.

ronkebp: Just let him know you can't change your first name but you can add that to your names, make it a middle name.

Nice one!

Simi is a good name but i find it totally weird him asking you to formally change ur birth name.
I think you should thread carefully so as to not 2 break ur home. My MIL calls me a diff name which am not a big fan of but i've decided to ans since it ain't a curse.

funny enof i ve been using Enterprise Mobile for all my local transfers, bill payment etc. They ve nefa failed me o! gtb crowd cares d hell out of me.

Fb i can do without but NL i checkout everyday. Although dey re not d same.

Johnny B " Hey, pretty Mama, wanna see my chest hairs? It's blond n curly" or d he dialled 911 " Hi! Dia is handsome guy in my bathroom. Hold on a sec! It's just me" love Johnny n his mum, lol

Tom n Jerry is ok cos even my granny understands it but give me
Courage d cowardly Dog (Still watch it till date)
Flintstones
Danger Mouse
Dexter's Lab
Samurai Jack
Voltron
Ovid
Johnny Bravo

My Nokia E5 works beautifully well. I ve used it all over Lagos. I dont ask for direction any more. Am loving it.

@Poster U re being too hard on ur self n u re talking as if u had married another man life would ve been rosier. It does't work that way. Each n every one of us has one thing or another dat we re battling in our marriages. Yours is not d worst. Do u knw dat during my waiting period i was so depressed that i wished dat my hubby had a love child that i can mother. Believe dat things work 4 good.

@ GboyegaD
I dont mind linking them wit d lady but not immediately if u ask me. Am sure dia is still a lot of tension bw her n her hubby hence he might kick against it. Let her change her mindset, relax n tactically romance her man. Play wit those kids genuinely n i tell u her man would be willing 2 do anything 4 her.

My dear poster, all hope is't lost. D 1st step is to stop getting yourself all worked up. You re totally blessed wiv those 3 kids around u. One thing i knw abt men is dat they can't stand pressure esp in infertilty. B4 u knw it love making would become difficult 4 him.
Am telling dis cos i ve bn der. I battled infertility 4 6yrs. My hubby was diagnosed wit severe Oligospermia. We were told dat his sperms dont live up 2 1hr. We tried so many hosps. He was gvn a lot of treatment 2 no avail. Wen ve almost given up a fellow parishioner intro 2 a lady dat is into fertility dieting n herbs. My Sis, after 3 mths of treatment plus serious prayers on our own part my hubby's SC hit d roof. I took in d 4th mth. Infact am heavy wit my 2nd now.
Relax!

Hi! Gosh am loving this thread. I ve lovely 2 yr old n also heavily preggy. My once independent son has become too clingy. He cries n Screams alot these days. Am at my wits end. My hubby says he cant notice any change in him so may be na my condition dey do me?

Ukamaka

My dear, it ain't easy really but d key is planning. Two things i hate so much are doing d dishes n laundry. The former my hubby took over while d latter was settled after i got myself an auto WM.
I go 2 mile12 mkt once in 3 mths wit hubby. We buy yam (lik 12 4 1;5k) sweet n irish potatos, onions(1k), Tomatoes, ppr n tatshe(bskt u can gt 4 1,2k) raw Ogbono n Egusi (1paint buckt each)
We then move 2 ijora buy 2 ctns of chicken, 1 ctn of croacker. usually share cow wit 3 of my friends so no wahala 4 beef( atleast 20k 4 4-5mths)
Got my hubby 2 get n inverter dedicated only 2 d deep freezers. have every thing der.
House cleaning is every sat.n even my 2yr old pitches in.
Least i 4gt i cook moi-moi every month plus ogi. All dey freezer 2 b warmed wen needed.

kindly send acct details 2 my email babytisto@live.co.uk

my dear, go and make ur marriage work! No marriage is smooth sailing i tell u. What most of us women lack is humility. For me i believe so much in stooping to conquer. Works like magic some may think u re stupid but d truth is u ld ve u hubby eating right off ur palms.

Suddenly my hubby wey dey always complain of tiredness don get im groove back. Not funny at all considering dat am 9mths preggy!

ikuku kuo afu ike okuko!! Is this 4 real?

make una allow pastor bakare say im mind joo! But i don't see impeachment in d near future o ! No be Naija we dey.

Me thinks our dear GEJ knows something about this BK rubbish. I kinda believe wat they said. A friend caught between crossfire said they were told 2 run along by the BKmities.

Damn! Am still lost 4 words. Things go harsh now no be small. Have a junior colleague dat commutes from Sango 2 V.i daily. She complains of spending up to 1k daily. Wiv a now unemployed hubby (thanks 2 sanusi reform) n 3 mouths to feed on N58k salary! dis country harsh o!

If we don't protest n continue with our usual "Siddon de look" atitude we will all be worse off.
My only prayer is dat BH won't capitalise on this.

Lord have mercy!! This would definitely not end well