₦airaland Forum

Honeycity:
let her stay there and be shedding tears, when her ex had already moved on, he got married last year or so

Obviously you did not read the article. READ READ READ

[quote author=call-me link=topic=721087.msg8807322#msg8807322 date=1311855505]pls who is Titilayo?[/quote]Titilayo is a young lady who got murdered by her husband last month. He murdered her and cut up her body after years of physical abuse

coogar:
you'd beat her up?

I don't fight my sisters but we are close enough that the silent treatment makes us examine ourselves. We are honest with each other. I will not be happy at all if my sister was that way. I am also very close to my brother in laws so I cannot see a wrong and not say something

Why would someone be so heartless. I just get tired of hearing of men behaving like this. In a country were you know that her options are very limited and you still do such a thing. It just blows my mind

Your wife is the paranoid one. Her frustration is understandable but you should not let this fly. She needs to apologize. What will it take from her. That is just terrible. I cannot even imagine. What fu*ckery. I will also suggest that you never use the "D" word. Divorce. There is no place for it in a commited and loving marriage. I can tell you love your wife. Keep being a good husband but she needs to change her ways. An apology is in order here. She must apologize. The other thing I do not like is telling people how misreable she is. What she might not understand is that many women will pay for her misery. They will take it and be happy. Your wife truly needs to work on herself please. If she was my sister there would be serious trouble

I knew it was from a childhood illness but did not know it was lupus. I was not even aware that there are different forms of the disease.

You say you have been with her for 2 years and she is in her early 20's. She just might not be ready to get married then. Early 20's is pretty much 23 or younger. Where you expecting her to marry you right out of high school. I think she is just not ready. It might not be someone else

ROTFLMAO. I know there are mad people on nairaland

Black guys will pretty much date anything you throw their way. I think in this case it is with Arab girls. they pretty much stick t their own

Black guys will pretty much date anything you throw their way. I think in this case it is with Arab girls. they pretty much stick t their own

Today it is your girlfriend. Tomorrow it might be your wife

[quote author=My-Key link=topic=718885.msg8789093#msg8789093 date=1311637780]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2bMwsF9qp8&feature=player_detailpage

SAN FRANCISCO POLICE MURDER ANOTHER UNARMED BLACK YOUTH


San Francisco Police Kill A Teenage Man After Shooting Him 5 Times In Back And While Laying Face Down On The Street After Chasing Him Down For Not Paying $2 Bus Fare!

Another splendid example of the American police state. Three different videos report to capture the aftermath of the police brutality.

San Fransisco Police Shoot Man Laying Down In Street 5 Times Over Non-Paid Bus Fare
The videos below reportedly show the San Francisco police shooting a non-resisting man in back and while laying face down in the street. The teenager in the video was lethal wounded after being shot 5 times after the police reportedly chased him down for not paying a $2 bus fare.

The Police claim this man had a gun which still has not been found and eyewitnesses at the scene say the official story coming from the police is full of lies.

Second video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeDgnP_u0p8

Read more at the San Francisco Examiner: http://www.sfexaminer.com/local/crime/2011/07/san-francisco-police-data-show-…
THIS MAN WAS UNARMED THE ENTIRE TIME FROM START TO FINISH


Black people are treated like trash in the USA. EVERYDAY.

Seriously, Ameria is on it's last legs. Owes China more than $1TRILLION in debt. SERIOUSLY F.UCKED UP COUNTRY. But if it makes you feel better for to always come to Nairaland and bleep about how "great" your life is in that hell, Be my guest.[/quote]And your point is?

imoise:
Hello Guys,
I have read through all your comments about the U.S. and Nigeria. To be honest, Nigeria is better for older people above 50s who have questionable character. Here u can steal public funds, marry an underage, do whatever you want and people still worship you for your illegalities. We talk about Nigeria when we come to Lagos, please visit other places. America is a very simple place to live, “live within your mean”. The cultural thing is the only negative thing I see but it all depends on the individual. I took a loan for my MBA but when I graduated my company paid it all. I was working in a bank in Nigeria b4 I left but I wake up 4am just to get to work and I did have a training or promotion in 3yrs. Guy, I do not need a mansion to live in and I got my condo/2-bed for 55k USD. Going to America is not force; please don’t advise people to come, LET THEM STAY IN NAIJA AND WATCH THEIR POLITICIANS STEAL THEIR MONEY TO COME BUY HOUSES HERE. E no good e no good but see naija politicians? They all have their families here now.

You are on point. People make their own lives complicated. Most people live in homes they cannot afford (americans included) and drive cars no have no business buying. People act like you are forced to get into debt. I worked through school so my student loans were not that much. I made the mistake everybody tends to make and racke dup credit card bills and I worked very hard to pay them off. Do not spend what you do not have. It is that simple. My first house was also a condo/townhouse and I paid cash for it. It was not expensive and it had everything I eeded. i was not married then. It's all about living within your means and if you want to spend more you simply make more. The idea that you have to work just to keep up with debt might be true but it is the debt that you chose to create. In rare cases people rack up medical debt but that is the only debt that makes sense in terms of having to file for bankruptcy.

lancee:
Ohh is it everyone that took loan here were able to pay back , what abt those who lost their home ,medical bills etc even their own citizens
Dont get me wrong i was only making emphasies on the way immigrants live here , every country has their own problems u just have to deal with the challenges

Like i said earlier life is full of choices some prefer not to go home again , while some re here for a while if they re lucky make somethin out of the system but i will Never BAD MOUTH naijaaaa

Lancee it is hard to feel sorry for your friend. How do you rack up 80000.00 in debt in three years and then bail and don't take responsibility for your actions. She is an example of why Nigeria is the way it is. The americans who might rack up debt that way will have to stay here and face the music. Bankruptcy was even an option for your friend if she did it the right way. There is a system. If you are smart you use the system to your advantage. You cannot come in and not have any goals or purpose and then think everything will automatically fall in place.

lancee that is not true. you plan for the future. period. the problem with many africans is that they come here and keep that old mentality and expect it to keep working for them. you have to change the way you think.

I agree that the US is more affordable to live in than Nigeria. Also every single point the OP made is not true. I totally disagree with it. Come to the US and make realistic goals. Live within your means. Maybe take some risks. Understand the system.

If you are asking specifically if you should return to the village I will lean towards no. What prospects are there? You will be wasting your life in the village.

Some of these ones are so scary. For me going into Labor was traumatizing biko  

Then I remember going to Nigeria in 07 and caught malaria. I had no idea I had it and came back to the states. I almost died. Thank God for his intervention.

The scariest thing I can remember was when my son was about 5 months old. He is my first so you know with the first you are basically learning from scratch and I had never ever cared for a baby before. I used to carry him everywhere like a handbag (according to his dad). i would not even let him cry. I would not even shower until his dad came from work and as soon as hear the garage door close and the poor man walked in I would hand his baby and tell him to rock him until I get out of the shower. So you get the idea.
So one morning I had to go downstairs to sterilize bottles and stuff and I carried him as usual even though he did not need me to. Honestly I was probably half asleep. As we were going down the stairs about5 or 6 steps down I lost my footing. JESUS. It was like slow motion. My baby flew out of my arms and I watched him fall on the floor head first facing me. He was screaming i was screaming. I have never ever be so so scared in my life. I ran to the phone and called 911. I was so hysterical. The lady kept telling me to calm down and I was shouting GET AN AMBULANCE. I NEED AN AMBULANCE. She was consoling me sha. When the paramedics got there my son was not even crying anymore. he was playing. I was still crying and shaking like water leaf. Checking his head. One of the guys said they thought he was okay but since I am insisting they will take him to the hospital. They held him and my son was just playing with them while I ran around the house packing a bag. I honestly thought we would spend time in thehospital. I rode in the ambulance with my baby. I am sure they thought I was mad. When we were approaching the hospital the yeye paramedic was saying in the walkie talkie. "Infant fell but seems to be okay. Mother is distraught." As if I was the one that needed medical attention. mscheeeew. My the time we got to the hospital my husband was already there. He was laughing at me. My son was fine. They told me that falls bring infants to the hospital all the time and that since the skull was not fully closed it helps them when they fall. I am sure my husband was secretly saying ntooooooo. Needless to say that quickly cured my need to carry him everywhere. Crying does not hurt them.

[quote author=Yours GEJ, link=topic=718674.msg8775497#msg8775497 date=1311442509]Mine was getting despoil.d in high school by three girls even though I had a crush on one of them. We were just sitting in class during the period for games studying for an exam the next day when they attacked. I got a Situation when they gave me a Bj and they began to ride away. My John Thomas hurt for like two days after that. I used it to my advantage though as I threatened to report it if any of them refused to open whenever I wanted. I had that girl as much as I wanted. But the experience still hurts though.[/quote]Stop diverting the thread. It is your most traumatic experience not your wildest fantasies

So tragic. Just readign the wikipedia updates. her lungs were working at ust 70% and she also had heart problems as early as 2008. All this from smoking so much crack. It is very possible that she died from a heart attack. It sounds so wasteful. To be so young and talented and just let it waste.

Oddly enough they say quite a few famous people died from drug related issues at age 27. Jimi Hemdrix, Janis Joplin and Kurt Cobain are the ones I saw in the comments. They all died at 27.

SAY NO TO DRUGS. May her soul rest in peace

at Poster. Did the kids die in their sleep. Tell us more about it. Something can stick out to someone and realize that this isjust a medical problem. It could also be genetic. Did they fall sick? What happened

Some of these people you are calling friends stupid. Thank God everybody is okay

dayokanu:
Personification, Might not necesarily be yours.

But alot of people benefitted from Kind gestures from people before they became on their own.

Some travelled to US and stayed with some family friends and even within Nigeria.

if neither you nor your husband benefitted from these sort of gesture from ppl then you are not obliged to repay. Not so for people who benefitted

Ok even generally speaking. You lived with someone does not mean that the same situation can work with you. There are other ways to help people whose folks helped you. I know that I cannot have someone live with me for many reasons. Especially when they are Nigerian and I want to remain cordial with them. I have a friend from warri that they kind of had this sort of communal living thing in Nigeria and their house in the states became the underground rail road in america. There was always someone passing through that ended up in their home. I couldnot have put up with half the crap she put up with.
I am sure I did not sound very supportive of her because whenever she complained I would become highly irritated. It's just the children I felt for. Sometimes empowering people to help themselves is the best gift you can give. You cannot have grown ass people come and live in your home indefintely. Further more if they must then there have to be clear and defined rules and boundaries. How many Nigerian adults will you set rules and boundaried in your home for that will not act like you are being disrespectful to them. Maybe it is just the way I am wired bt I have this mentality that if I help someone I do not expect they help me back and if they do not I will not hold it against them but at the same time if someone does something for me I feel that I should treasue it. Maybe that is why I find it hard to understand the wisdom in letting a pack of adults come and live in your home

When the abuse started from either side they should have nipped it in the bud then. One thing I know is that usually when someone stays in an abusive relationship for a long time they too become abusive. I remember feeling the same way about a friend of a cousin but my cousins husband told me that the woman has gone through hell with the man. In my mind I am thinking if the only way you can be married to this man is by being so verbally abusive and even sometimes physical then there are issues there. It seems the man changed and she could not get over the bitterness of his earlier abuse.

I am glad that a lot of single people come on here to read this stuff.

dayokanu:
Some people actually took him your husband when he was young and put up with his unruliness.

Now its his turn to reward the favour

What has the scenario below had to do with a million kids?

Whose husband?