₦airaland Forum

cramjones: I believe a number of you have been staying tuned with my page to have insider information on my party. Unfortunately, I won't be giving out information here as I used to do in the past. There are two reasons:

1. APC have been betrayed by so many, so the leadership of APC have restricted information to the top echelon of the party.

2. We want to protect ourselves from trolls that may want to use the information I give out to our disadvantage.

Recall, I leaked our plans for those we considered for presidency and vice presidency. This has caused a lot of trouble, even among party members.

As the elections come close, I will only reveal, intelligence info we get from the PDP camp, because from now on I will constantly have insider information from our intelligence sources in the Presidency and the PDP.

Stay tuned as I reel out this info from the camp of PDP.

God Bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

-CramJones

How can you be sure that you are not the only person interested in details of your "news scoop" ?

egift: What we are seeing today is an accumulated results of Jonathan's failure to tackle Insecurity in Nigeria for the last 5 years he has been in power. Throwing money and bombs will not solve it.

Since Jonathan came to power, many Nigerians have been making very useful suggestions, but this administration just turned a deaf ear to it. Nigerians asked for intelligence gathering, infiltration of the Boko Haram Organization, equipping and training of our soldiers, sending in a small team of special forces, prosecution of boko haram sponsors, negotiating where necessary, etc. But the Zoologist only care about sharing money and returning to power.

Sorry to hear about your pain, which is only set to increase, since President Jonathan is going to remain in power until 2019.

Please think up as many insults as you can, because writing them here will be the only activity that will give you pleasure in the coming years.

Maybe this man is running out of money to pay his terrorist gang, and is reduced to begging that they should not be killed by federal troops.

Well, he needs to understand that war is not a game where the referee can call for time out, so that one side or the other can rest and re-arm. War is about killing the enemy by any means possible, until there are none left, and that is exactly what the Nigerian military's comprehensive annihilation endeavor calls for now.

Tomjazzy2: then you must be a bossom crusader cum activist

Yes I would agree with that assessment. I am an unrepentant bhreast crusader, whose hands twitch every time a nice pair appears on radar.

Tomjazzy2: and what are you, a breast surgeon or expert?

Bhreasts are of great interest to me, especially nice firm and full ones like women are blessed with before they bear children, between those magical ages of 18 to 23, when those jugs just seem to defy gravity, jiggling and swaying alarmingly as they walk, and leaving all observers both male and female mesmerized and slightly disoriented. I could go on for days on this subject.

To answer your question, I have no medical background whatsoever, but I vigorously support ANY woman's desire to sculpt the perfect rack for herself.

charllyen: Sometimes ago I had what i called a fungal outbrak. ezcema, dandruff and small ringworms on my body, face, hands and hair which was backed up with itching. I started ingesting more of the coconut oil(about 5 spoons daily). later, i would combine shear butter with coconut oil to use on my skin. The result? everything cleared within little time and realised how much this natural products are. i still use them as my moisturizer till date, nothing like cream.

Ingesting any oil directly can be hard on the digestive system, and some people may develop problems if they copy the dosage you have shown above.

Mishydoo: The bigger is always d better

That may be true for lovers of BIG like you, but women carrying about anything up in the 38D range and above WILL suffer back pain, and that is no fun at all, as a long-term discomfort. Bhreast reduction surgery is a routine operation, but if performed by an incompetent surgeon, it can be a disaster for the patient, so care must be taken to choose the right surgeon, IF such a professional can be found in Nigeria, AND IF the patient can afford the operation.

obua: Do some weight training or do online search to get correct leads

Weight training will have very little effect if bust reduction is the goal. Surgery is the ONLY means of reduction for a 38D sized woman, and if the job is done by a competent cosmetic surgeon, a very natural looking pair of beauties can be sculpted using the patient's own bhreast tissue to fill out a smaller volume for a firmer, 100% natural look that will turn heads for sure.

The art of surgically creating the perfect female bhreast pair lies in an ability to ensure that the left and right sides are of precisely the same size after full healing, and in correctly re-positioning the nhipples to ensure perfect left/right symmetry after skin and fat has been removed in differing quantities on each side during the reduction surgery. Properly done, a woman with sagging, uneven 38Ds that cause back pain could by virtue of skilled cosmetic surgery, become the proud owner of a firm, full and pert 36D rack that could trigger traffic accidents.

Get surgery, and send us ONLY the "AFTER" pictures for Nairaland's Panel of Experts to examine.

People who discover the benefits of exercise late in life often feel compelled to SHOW the public how hard they are working at their keep-fit routine, such that they will go out and run down the street dodging cars, instead of buying a treadmill to use for an even better workout in the safety of their own home.

LaTendo: Iwear 38D 4 bra can sum1 help me how make my breast small to 32atleast

Your only option is bhreast reduction surgery. It must be performed by well known surgeons, otherwise you may wind up worse off than before.

agaugust: .
[size=16pt]
Pray for Nigeria, pray hard !
[/size]

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2014/09/boko-haram-jonathan-declares-full-scale-war-deploys-warplanes/

.

That picture is very moving. Very emotional indeed.

Those are men facing random, unforeseen death every day, and they are beseeching God above to grant them just one more hour, one more day, one more chance to live, and to be victorious, so that one day SOON they can go home, and hug their children once again, when the call of duty has been answered, and the path of destiny known.

Warriors of the Nigerian armed forces, the world salutes you for your acts of daily unsung heroism thus far, and, as the skies and earth rumble with the thunder of Air Force jets on the attack, assurance grows that victory against terror WILL be yours, and the invaders WILL retreat in panic and disarray with every pounding they suffer.

ratiken: This is not good.
What is the rush about? When we cannot manage the few ebola patients we have in isolated instances.
We can easily have an uncontrollable outbreak in our hands if we don't think through this action appropriately.

Until we have a cure to the ebola virus, (local or foreign), kids should stay home. One infected kid oin a school can easily transmit to a class of 30 in less than 4 days especially in the public schools where hygiene is poor and teachers care less about the health status of the poor kids. 30 infected kids could easily mean 30 infected families and the multiplier continues. This could easily result in over 100K infected cases in just a month.

Until we get our hands around ebola, Kids should stay home ...... Kapish

Common sense such as is evident in your writing here, is, sadly, NOT common among those who decide policy in Nigeria. Your fears are almost bound to become reality. Concentrating students in hostels, dining halls and classrooms NOW, when the Ebola virus is far from eradicated, will lead to wholesale infections in one or more schools, after which the same bribe-taking government officials who first postponed school resumption and then reversed that decision, will make yet another hasty about-turn, AFTER a few dozen innocent students have received their own Ebola death sentence from infection at school that COULD have been avoided IF common sense had prevailed, which it has NOT, thus far, obviously.

SiriusBlack: Hey Guys, I am hale and hearty...Keep praying for your fighting men...as you all know, I can no longer post photos or comment about happenings at the front..But I can say this..Morale is high..we are all thirsty for vengeance and blood..Right now, this is between the sons of God and Forces of Darkness..just don't believe the lies SR is putting out..Victory is assured..Its Showdown time.

It is good to hear from the main man Sirius Black, and it is even better to hear that Nigerian air power is helping along scores of virgin seekers to their dream destination where the 72 rewards patiently wait.

IdomaLikita: I pray so ooooh!
I just pray so! Because if it is the "unmentionable" the casualty figures no go funny!
Lemme move towards the direction of the blast to see what I can find!

Another possibility is that an old building in the area was being brought down with a controlled explosion, though the decent thing to do in these tense times would have been for the contractors to make a public announcement in advance of the blast. Finally, a sizable blast in a rock quarry can rattle windows for up to ten miles away.

Were this noise that you just heard actually a bomb, there would have been several posts all reporting the same thing, which so far has not happened.

IdomaLikita: There was a loud blast that rattled the windows of the building I was 30mins ago!

Can anybody confirm what it was?

Nigeran Law School, JAMB Hqtrs, Army Camp, etc are in this locality!

Make e no be bomb abeg!

It could have been the sonic boom created when a supersonic fighter jet breaks the sound barrier. Those booms will rattle windows for quite a distance.

There is a wide variety of flying military hardware exploring the nooks and crannies of Nigerian airspace these days.

Bliss4Lyfe: Air strikes and ground push coordinated together. No heroes just technicians. Come on boyz! U can do it!

"No heroes, just technicians". That has a nice ring to it. Those are the sort of words that help calm the nerves of combat pilots as well as grunts on the ground, helping them focus their every sense and instinct on the task at hand as they saddle up for launch forth into harms way.

To the Nigerian Air Force, just remember when the wheels leave the ground on takeoff for war, that the entire free world counts you prominently among today's chosen defenders of justice, sanity and righteousness, who are both duty bound and destined to comprehensively annihilate the advancing slave-trader hordes sent to scorch Nigerian soil, straight from the very bowels of Hades, whence they must soon be dispatched in droves.

All the best, Nigeria's fighter jet jockeys and helicopter gunship crews. You fight on the side of that which is right, and you must do so with the cold precision and merciless intensity essential for a swift reduction to minced-meat, scrap metal and rubble, of all assigned targets on the ground.

darlingnuel: Everyone wants to be heard, feared and respected in my country, Nigeria!

Yes, the dream of every true Nigerian is to use this phrase at least once every day: "Do you know who I am ?"

WoodcrestMayor: Make una dey there.I don see "friend of d president" complimentary card b4.
I've also seen a congratulatory message from the HOUSEBOY GENERAL OF THE FEDERATION in one of d national dailies.So dis really is nothing.

Houseboy General of the Federation. Now that is a title to beat all titles.

wheredemdey: And he speaks like the typical Myopic nigerian..you talking about money when you should be talking about contacts/networking..

this barber will have unhindered access to the president..omoh this guy go dey find better work for person etc..the president go dey even seek for his advice/opinion on several issues sef..he go dey attend presidential parties etc..dey stay for aso rock..mehn the list is endless..


BTW: I seriously doubt this sh1t

You tell the truth my brother. People are quick to forget that a stark illiterate hair-dresser to former Nigerian President Obasanjo's wife was handed multi-billion dollar oil field leases through the back door, and is now one of Africa's richest women.

I would gladly serve as the official shoe-shiner, car washer or toilet cleaner for any Nigerian president, or state governor, so that I can position myself under the dining table to catch and eat all the crumbs, remnants and contracts that fall off the master's table to the floor.

lomaxx: Why should anyone be surprised?

No big deal if true. Magic Johnson has lived with HIV for thirty years, and you could never tell by looking at him, thanks to his use of effective retro-viral drugs.

100Cents: Now you have a similarity in altitude with Obama.

Altitude is very important.

For a British man forced to fly into Nigeria on account of employment obligations, one would imagine that the mounting stress levels and primal fear of infection by an often incurable disease, could predispose someone with a weak heart to literally get scared to death, and go into cardiac arrest as the plane enters Nigerian airspace, and health advisories are issued by the captain over the public address system in the plane's cabin.

To those repeatedly calling for the Nigerian military to be "truthful" in their press releases issued for consumption by the public media, just remember that you as a civilian are not entitled to ANY battle-front details, besides periodic routine confirmation that hostilities are ongoing.

Internet forums, social media and news outlets are scoured around the clock by agents and sympathizers of the terror group invading Nigeria, in a constant search for operational details that might be divulged by loose lips in the Nigerian military, such that counter-measures could quickly be devised in place, or sought from freelance weaponry vendors ready to sell with no questions asked.

All statements credited to the Nigerian military during the course of their combat operations must be regarded more as position statements intended for the ear of an enemy to whom the benefit of truthful intelligence MUST be denied until such time as the war is over, and past military secrets are declassified in response to court petitions filed by media outlets angling to get the exclusive on juicy tales of wartime intrigue and tactical deception.

dekronik: Now that BH are moving freely in the streets of Borno, [size=14pt]can we humbly request US drones please?

[/size]

Hear hear. Drone call ! Drone Call ! Last call for alcohol ! Drone call !

pigin: Nah, still alive and well.

Assuming this is no joke, congratulations on your escape from infection, IF Ebola is the illness at work there.

On the positive side, your woman may simply have contracted typhoid fever or even just severe malaria, either of which is easily treatable.

gommex: medicine after death

Whether or not the person who started this thread is infected with Ebola already, I truly pity him for the state of mind he will now be plunged, since the fear and worry alone is more than enough to make a person lose their mind and do something really crazy.

MissMeiya: I said it before, and I'll say it again.

The only thing I did was disprove the argument that eating dog is like eating any other animal that human eat.

So eat the dogs, if you like. But it's not normal.

At least Nigerian dog meat eaters share their passion with the Koreans who offer various mouth-watering recipes featuring Fido and the odd domestic feline, but Koreans resident in Nigeria have shown some real creativity in their discovery of yet another culinary treat that even Nigerians look down upon with disgust, and that is your lowly agama lizard, often seen in social groups sunning themselves along the walls of city buildings. Koreans in Nigeria reportedly cook up the humble agama lizards into dishes that would be hard to resist in any fine restaurant, though I hasten to add that I don't speak from direct experience, at least not that I know of.

RebelLeader15: I am not a movie or cinema addict but once in a while I find myself watching movies. Whether I am watching alone or with my friends and family members, I try to concentrate in order to get the message of the movie.
One of such movies was Hotel Rwanda. This movie was no ordinary movie, it was a classic remake of the Rwanda genocide that claimed thousands of lives in that country. Whoever watch that movie without tears streaming down his eyes must have a stone heart.
Blood flowed like a river without boundaries, families were separated, houses razed and many died. Those who survived had to start life all over again. What led to the crisis was simple: the Hutus and Tutsis who had lived together peacefully were at loggerheads. Communication broke down and hate festered, the differences in both tribes were played up. Those who lived as brothers for years became enemies overnight and started killing each other.
In what was perhaps the most ghoulish scene in the movie, a Tutsi man who was married to a Hutu woman was ordered to kill his wife and children by the Tutsi rebels who invaded their home. With shaken hands and teary eyes he pulled the trigger that sent his wife and children to early graves.
The Nigerian situation may not have degenerated to this stage at the moment, but we are gradually getting there. I am not a pessimist, but the way things are going in this country, it is only a matter of time before we become another Rwanda.
It is often said that experience is the best teacher, but we don't have to go through what the Rwandan''s went through before we realise that war destroys more than it builds.

Random massacres are already being committed by the invading terror gangs laying north eastern Nigeria to waste, with grisly video footage of mass slaughter being posted on the internet in a manner that openly mimics the posting of internet videos showing mass killings of war prisoners and civilians alike, perpetrated in Iraq and Syria by the forces of ISIS, the grand daddy of all terrorist organizations.

Maiduguri, the capital of Nigeria's embattled Borno State is not far from becoming the scene of savage street-to-street firefights pitting an alliance of federal troops and untrained civilian volunteers against terrorist mercenaries and war veterans schooled in the art of war during desert conflicts that once raged in the Chad and Niger republics.

A military conquest of Maiduguri by the terrorist slave raiders would deal a very hard psychological blow to the Nigerian government and people, who would then have legitimate reason to fear a resurrection in Nigeria of the ghosts from Rwanda and Burundi, where two of Africa's most brutal, systematic and extensive genocides occurred.

oyb: I'm sure mm will be a prime delicacy with Americana flavor. Free range

Ha ha ha Free Range Menumo. Say no more ha ha ha.

pigin: I am a final year
uniport student, for
confidential purpose, don't
reveal my real name and
department. I have a problem
that has been worrying me for
the last two days now. I live
with my girlfriend also a
uniport student, for two days
now, she has been having
fever and vomiting since on
friday. I know she visited upth
last week. I am confused I
want to run away because I
don't know if it is ebola, the
problem is if I run and it turns
out its not ebola she will leave
me. She is my first girlfriend
as most other girls never gave
me a chance to show them my
love, what do I do, I need
advice before morning. Please
don't curse me, I only want
advice.

Wearing just the clothes on your back, abandon your baggage where you lived with the victim, and FLEE NOW for your life.

Do NOT even think of touching any part of the victim, or your own death sentence will be assured. Contact medical authorities to alert them of the victim's location, and leave it at that.

You can always get another girlfriend, but that will only be possible if you are ALIVE to embark on a new search for love.

MissMeiya: I'm sorry, you missed the part were I said "commonly eaten". Sharks and snakes do not fall into that category.

Carnivorous fish only make up 10% of the world's fish species. Of those, the only ones that actually eat MAMMALS, rather than other fish, are sharks and killer whales. Which are, again, not commonly eaten.

Frogs are not commonly eaten, but the only "animals" it eats are insects.

So sorry, try again.


Look, if you like to eat dog, no one's stopping you. But it's bizarre. There's a reason why humans don't naturally eat carnivorous animals unless they have no choice.

Miss Meiya it might interest you to know that in addition to snacking on dogs, otherwise known as man's best friend, quite a few Nigerians enjoy eating human flesh, which is available but hidden from view in Ogunpa Market, Ibadan and in Oyingbo Market in Lagos, where human meat is known variously as "Eran Oniyo" (Salted Meat) or "M'enu'mo" (Hide your Mouth), among aficionados.

Moving to the Cross River area of Nigeria, where dog meat is coincidentally regarded as a treasured delicacy, the market of Ob'Anang is a renowned outlet for both fresh and smoke dried human meat. Patrons to the Ob'Anang market generally walk about the stalls there holding very sharp machetes as they do their grocery shopping, in order to serve notice that they are there to buy meat, and not to become meat.

So, I guess the upshot of my small digression here is that there are far more intense eating habits practiced in Nigeria than merely gobbling down some dog meat now and then.