₦airaland Forum

Playing the victim card.

Plus educated fools on display.

Wait is it Tinapa of 12 Years ago?
The one of recent,
Obudu cattle ranch?

It's been long you were in Cross River.

Olawrites:
In life, no one is perfect. Hence, the believe that everyone deserve a second chance. How do you see it when your Girl cheat on you in a serious relationship.

The devil you know is better than the angel you're yet to know


Will you give that 2nd chance?

False in this case.

JacksonMS:
we were not made to have a partner.

Who can decide?

True.

[quote author=faithscharms post=85194666][/quote]She is just young and silly,
if the tables were turn she will be squealing all over the place.

Apus:
Too late. For me, I have come to accept the fact that I enjoy my own space too much and the benefits therein. Family can't even place why at 27 I haven't been in any serious relationship. Though I hide under the guise of building myself, career-wise and all of that, but I know deep down nothing of such is happening at least not soon.
I have become so independent that even solitude doesn't scare me anymore. About tomorrow's X-mas, trust me, I know how to catch all d fun in world all by myself

Have been there, and I must tell you it scared me, cos I was worried I was actually a robot (Prime - Pryme), that was soulless and without feelings.

But The first time I fell for lady I was really relived, not because of the excitement of being with a beautiful women (which is most times the case for many guys), no it was because it means am human and able to give and get love (cos one day I would like to carry my own kids and spoil them silly with love, but that has to start somewhere - the Mother.
Even now I don't like that word "love" cos in most cases its either it's a disease of the mind or it's a scam.
But when you experience true love from another woman, it could be bad cos it will ruin you - yes in a world filled dishonest people and where relationship is mainly for convenience, you won't last long in shallow relationships that is the norm (most times).
And for the fact that you prefer being alone means you will only be with someone that offers you something extraordinary that you can't give yourself.
But it will be a miracle for you to find a person
with a beautiful soul that loves you and only you,
and add something extraordinary to your life,
you love her back just the same,
at the same time living a comfortable life.

The stars have to align, which I hope it happens for you.
When it happens, you will fall hard and you will love hard and for a good reason.

I just hope you guys find a real life companion sooner than later, cos when you are on your own for so long, you tend be more dependent on yourself, and enjoy solitude more.
While others may do everything to make the relationship work cos they can't stay alone, you tend to take the relationship as an "option" cos you have your self to fall back on (where others find this difficult to do), you don't have a problem being alone, this could be a problem.

But it gets worse, introverts are just too picky, shrinking the possibility of finding a life partner from 1 in a 1000 to 1 in 10,000 or even 1 in a million.

With this in mind, I have made my peace with the fact that I may die alone in solitude.
It's all or nothing, it's either it the right person or nothing.

GrabHisBalls:
There is absolutely nothing wrong in being fragile, be it male or female but guys generally move on faster than girls when it comes to heartbreaks. On Nairaland, there are more guys to ladies, but out there, there are at least 3 female births to a male: making ladies more than guys. Guys hardly show off a weak emotional state and the few who do, do so, codely. Perhaps, they easily cry out on Nairaland 'cause of the anonymous state the forum gives members and being that they're more here, you can't help but always read tales of how they were cheated on. In reality, they're really not the victims. Ladies are.

Come again?

donbachi:
Her ex said that to make ur friend dislike and see her as a cheat..to enable him have her all to himself and u guys fell for it.

Honestly am amazed how you can even load a recharge card.

WAECMATHEMATICS:
Good day all.

Please, I need your advice on one wicked stubborn tenant. My family gave this our tenant a quick notice since February this year 2019. As a matter of fact, the tenant and our family went to Lagos Arbitration and Mediation Centre. It was at the Mediation Centre that we both reached an agreement that he should leave our apartment.

So, we gave him 6 months quit notice in February, 2019. His previous house rent elapsed that same February, 2019. So, for the 6 months quit notice we gave him, he didn't pay any money. He actually said he would need 6 months to search for another apartment at that meeting we had with him at the Mediation Centre in February. So, we gave him the 6 months for free.

The 6 months we gave him elapsed at the end of August, 2019. When the 6 months elapsed, he refused to vacate the apartment. So, my family went back to the Lagos Mediation Centre to complain. The Mediation Centre sent him (the tenant) a letter giving him 7 days ultimatum to vacate the apartment. At the end of the 7 days, this man refused to leave. My family complained again to the Mediation Centre and they said they would look into it.

After another 3 months again by last November, 2019, this tenant refused to leave the apartment. My family went back again to the Lagos Mediation Centre and one of the officials there said "So, the man has not left the house since?". We responded yes. At the Mediation Centre there, they said something like they are incapacitated by the law to take any action.

This is December now going to an end. The tenant is still in the house. He has refused to vacate the apartment. It's about 10 months now living in our apartment without any payment. He has refused to leave.

The apartment is a 2 bedroom flat in Aguda Surulere, Lagos. The tenant's name is Mr Chigozie Okongwu James.

We don't want to take law into our hands as it seems there is no solution to the problem through the Lagos Mediation Centre. It's about 10 months now!

What can my family do to get the man ejected from the apartment? Your advice are welcomed.

Why am I not surprised?

AAA593:
Thunder fire wetin. Do you even understand ASUU points?
IPPIS is the fact that it is a blatant violation of the concept of university autonomy. University autonomy is a global practice associated with universities all over the world and it has four main dimensions namely: academic, organisational, financial and staff autonomy. Perhaps, some little words about university autonomy would suffice. Academic autonomy simply means the university’s capacity to manage its internal academic affairs independently. Such academic issues include students’ admissions, academic content, quality assurance and the introduction of new degree programmes. Organisational autonomy has to do with the university’s ability to decide freely on issues like decision-making bodies, executive leadership, legal entities and internal academic structures. Financial autonomy s all about the university’s ability to decide freely on internal financial matters like managing its funds independently and setting its strategic aims.

All these must be added the fact that university autonomy gives absolute powers to a body called the university governing council. This body is officially recognised by the laws establishing universities in Nigeria. It is this body that is saddled with the responsibility for the control and management of university funds, employment and promotion of staff. All edicts and statues establishing universities and the nation’s constitution give full powers to the governing councils as the supreme body concerned with the day-to-day operation of the university. In the profoundest sense, university autonomy means that all powers academic, managerial and financial are vested in the governing council. All the agreements signed between the Federal Government and the Academic Staff Union of Universities since 1992 have shown abundantly that Nigerian universities should be allowed to operate in compliance with their enabling laws, statues, rules and regulations.

Sadly this act left out generating of funds for payment of salaries "independently".
It's strange that the most educated group of individuals could not spot this grey area.

bukatyne:
What is your definition of love?

The question is do you love yourself?

"No one can love or hate like a mad man"

nanauju:
When your esteem enables you to eventually meet a financially successful woman, (not the riff raff your 5k can afford) after she finishes picking u like beans and finds that you have nothing to offer her, she's gonna thrash you in the can.

True,
But where does respect come in?
Will you respect a billionaire that calls you a rat because he feels you are just a cheap LovePeddler that you can't afford Rolex watch?
Even though that man is the richest man in the planet you will NEVER respect him because of how he treated you.

It's the same context here, you have money but will that automatically bring you respect? (consider the above paragraph)

How many female celebrities have landed the perfect man?
Your young experience is too limited to think money equals happiness and a perfect life partner.

I have read your order post, if they are anything to go by, then you have to edit this thread to

"Ladies being financially independent will make you less dependent on men"

Ryan03:
even if a woman have respect and is as submissive as submissive can be, without a level of financial stability, she will be very prone to abuse in relationships and marriage. We are talking about financial stability here, what's all these respect and gbogboyen that I am seeing? We have been preaching how women should stop depending totally on us, now someone posted about it and what are the male folks doing? Its like most of us don't really want our women to be financially independent cause that is their only strength in marriage

No you don't get,
It's about respect, will you respect someone that is rich but have a repulsive personality? Man or Woman?
This is what we are trying to drum into the person that created this thread.

Financial Independence can never get you respected if you don't give respect.

They are many homes that the man is the bread winner with a wife from a poor background, yet the wife enjoys more respect from the husband, why is that? Was the woman financially independent before marriage? No.
So how come she commands so much respect in the home? Your guess is as good as mine.

The problem here is most young girls in their early 20s or late teens will come here opening misleading threads from their limited and immature experience about life.

nanauju:
You're probably lacking in understanding, and don't go about saying someone else's post, which totally agrees with mine is more refining because we're saying the same thing. How u understand is utterly Ur problem to deal with

No, I understand you.
When you are handed exactly what you mean, and you find that you goofed, you want to change the narrative.

Being independent is not the only way you can get respect from a man.
Obviously your experience about men is limited.

bukatyne:
You clearly don't understand the OP

She is saying 'women have your own money' so you look beyond provision from a man.

When you are content with what you have, you are better positioned to review a prospective husband critically because you are not blinded by money.

A fantastic advice if you ask me.

Your post is more refined,
I understand the Op,
But you only missed the part she said "money will GET you respect from men"
This is what I think is misleading, even women can't stand a man that is rich but is very disrespectful to women.
Same thing with men, just because a woman has money they think men will feast on their shiit.
If you want respect give respect, the world still have men that respect women because of who they are, not what they have.

nanauju:
Is a woman too little to get respect from her man? I don't need to go figure how to make a man respect his woman. It's natural. If he lets down his ego, respect will be mutual

As far as respect is concern, you get what you give.
Dont expect any because you have money.

nanauju:
Don't feel soo much of yourself as a man. As a matter of fact, this topic is still centered around woman that should strive to be more financially independent and successful, so that when they (women) the start thinking of how to settle down, they will look beyond money (which as much as is a necessity shouldn't be the only thing they look out for), and start looking at the behavior of the man, and how he shows leadership skills, reactions to issues, and overall manner of approach.
Or do you really think it's only men that look out for a woman that will respect them? I'm sorry if you are not respecting your woman too, especially one who is financially independent, you are not ready for something lasting yet. Let it be mutual.
If a man is always screaming about being the head, deserving respect, then there's a problem. He probably hasn't put himself up to the position to deserve such from his woman. A woman will always submit to a man, who has proved beyond doubt that he posses finesse leadership qualities, respect himself and his woman, and every other thing will fall into place. You cannot give what you don't have

This post only contradicts the title your thread. Money does not get you respect, unless you are paying for it.

This thread is about women getting respect,
Respect from who? The "men".
Yet a "man" told you it's not money that gets a woman respect.
You replied him with this post, if I were you I would try to figure out what makes a man respect a woman FROM A MAN.

Perhaps you are seeking respect from "women"

AfroKnight:
Thank you bro. Tell them.

They think all we care about is them not fleecing us. This is what we are talking about. They should see beyond their immediate needs.



When men ask for what you’re bringing to the table, we are not talking about only your personal finance.

No, you must have sense. Don’t just have money of your own. Have a logical mind to go with it. Learn to have civil conversations. Don’t turn it into a question and answer segment. Contribute to the discussion like a fellow sensible adult. Don’t be insufferably salty with your signature nonsense monosyllabic response.

Be peaceable. A number of women derive fulfilment from frustrating men. Like, that’s how they know they are progressing in life - frustrating men who show them love. Hope you know you are practising witchcraft and thunder will faya you.

Respect yourself and respect your guy. Not every argument is an opportunity for you to be savage. Leave that for juvenile brawlers on twitter.

Being a strong young woman does not mean being rude and unreasonable.

Just be reasonable.

Just as your signature - Poignant.

Newguyhere:
Tbh I never knew female negros were attracted to white guys.
I hope you're intelligent enough to land one.

And you think we dont have "white" numskulls?

lavylilly:
He is your boyfriend and not your husband!
So.Stop.Giving.Him.Husband.Privilages.

What are husband privileges? You ask. I will tell you, just keep reading. Boyfriend and husband privileges are NOT the same. Almost all the ladies here have MISTAKENLY given their boyfriend 'husband privileges'. If you are guilty of this atrocity, don’t sweat it, you can still redeem yourself.

Here are the difference between Boyfriend and Husband Privileges.

1. Husband Get Sex but Boyfriend DO NOT.
Giving up your VAGINA and doing very intimate things with a man that may not end up marrying you is improper and downright NASTY!

Instead of allowing random men access to your precious punany, it is recommended that you build a connection outside sex.

2. Husband Get Home Catering But Boyfriend DO NOT
Cooking and cleaning for your boyfriend is a total TABOO.

Many have cleaned and cooked like pros yet they were jumped and forgotten. If he wants you to cater to him, let him first “put a ring on it”

Disclaimer
I strongly encourage you to stop giving your boyfriend ‘husband privileges”.
Note, doing so will most likely cause him to flee, but don’t worry, you are now in Nl and can easily find a husband material.

Say NO to Boyfriends that wants Husband Privileges.

Really?
Have you even find out if all girls will agree to a no-sex relationship?

Do you know how many women are looking for guys that will give them husband "privilege(s)"?

Are you kids getting bored of Disney channel?
Why not go learn how to knit or something.

Riele:
Because you wrote waec at age 22 doesn't mean others make achievements late in their lifes .

Shut your trap, and go watch a cartoon or something, at what age do you even know about men, or you have started fuuking in your teens so you know about "men"?

Just look at this teenager that can't even wash her own panties coming here talk about her father.

Nairaland should introduce an age verification process so that teenagers like you that have no business opening a thread like this will be placed on kids section.

Such audacity from a someone that is still in secondary school.

Macsjebs:
Really long, don't do random girls, don't do favour in return for sex...
Can't have sex without attachment or feelings/affection coz it will amount to mere activity

I dig this.

Jgoldie:
Commenting like this on a public forum is not good for business.

Some times I wonder if they have any idea what "targeted audience" means. They dont know they come across as scammers,

ZionMyWorld:
Self centeredness is a right word I think, though she comes from a broken family, she lost her mother at very young age, have deep resentment towards her step mother till date, she had literally lived all by herself even while living in her father's house.

This idea of working together as a team is alien to her, there are some things she does and never told me, like doing monthly contribution or keeping cash with someone to keep for her, and she won't let me know, while am so open to her, because that's how I grew up, my mom n dad work as a team.

I sometimes tell her to carry me along whatever she does so that I can be in the picture. I buy everything with our names, our cars, house, land, everything carries my name and hers, even we both signatories to our bank accounts. Despite I do the work, while she handle home front and recently start managing a nursery and primary school we setup.

Seems her upbringing caused irreparable damages to her mindset. Now am facing it.

Sorry about the situation you are in,
I can relate to the fact that she started with you when you had nothing.

Her background or character has nothing to do with her present behavior, what is lacking here is her WILL to change.
If she knows some of her excesses will make you unhappy, and it will make you to be distant from her she will have no choice but to change if you are very important to her.

The problem here is your wife is now in a very comfortable position, she has a man that can't leave without her, she is married, money is coming in, what else is there.
She can now do as she pleases because you can't do without her (and she knows it)

Am sorry but as military personnel you should have a hint of how human beings are, if you don't do something drastic or do something extreme, there will be no law and other, people won't change.

I don't believe in all this talk of "sit her down and talk to her", how can you talk to someone that has been with you for 10 years and clearly knows what you hate.

It's not too late, lay down some ground rules, get tough if you have to,
if you can't, give her space let her feel your absence, she has no idea of what she has until she loses it.
Give her the silent treatment if you have to, isolate her from your decision making and your plans, this is like a divorce but within the marriage (you must understand it won't be difficult for her to cheat on you as it stands) . tell her to enjoy her life of seeking attention you won't stop her again.

You must put yourself in mind state that you have already lost her, cos if you don't you won't go all the way, she may think you are bluffing at first until she finds you are dead serious.

And trust me she won't take it for long,

There is a saying
"some people are better off when denied their
privileged"

She wont change until something drastic happens, am sorry but that's human beings for you.

Crazyblue:
The irony of this comment is on another level.

Asking if a wealthy woman is married ( the only true definition of success for a woman)

Then continue to advertise a service to help spy on MARRIED couples

For the whooping sum of 3k

oh, To hell with the paid advert section that's for broke people.

I thought free advertising was for broke people