₦airaland Forum

Mindfulness:
Or equally/smilarly successful ... but yeah, you are right.

But then, how many successful men will value a woman when they know they are highly sort after, the chance of finding a decent man just shrunk even further

safarigirl:
Career

Once I have established myself, I can enter marriage knowing I have something to offer my partner. It is hard to find footing in your career after marriage.

I don't want to be anyone's liability, so, I would rather I have built myself to a reasonable extent, before joining forces with anyone

Spoken like someone that understands partnership.

The only downside of being a successful career lady is that your choice of men will shrink drastically, you will only fancy men that are more successful than you.

midnighter:
Haha! Now I know for sure that you are partial.

You can see throughout the thread where he literally harangued and pursued people who didnt agree with him, to the point that somebody had to beg him to leave them alone

Suddenly because I disagree with his irresponsible behaviour, Im the one who is flaring up. But you didnt see him flaring at so many people, including me a few pages back



So this is not flaring? You are not serious!

hahaha let me be learning ooo..chai. People only want praise-singing and not constructive comments, shame

From the way I see it, you have some very very very good points in you post, what you are trying to do is call a spade a spade.
But your point falls on deaf ears, not that you are wrong - No.
It's just your temperament, it's like yelling to child when you can "talk" most times the yelling is counter productive.

I understand you are passionate about this, so forgive me when is use "emotional" in the same sentence.

On your last part, his flare up does not absolve yours. If you guys had super powers, his will be ice, yours will be fire.

Amesiere.

Harlequeen:
Wow, sir, i applaud your abilities of selective reading and misinterpreatation.

I try to list a few things in a bid to be humble and you call me proud? Well a man will be blessed to have me because he who has found a wife has found a good thing. I never said i will be blessed to have the kind of man i am looking but, but i consider myself fortunate when i do. There is no arrogance in that statement sir.

What were you expecting me to write, that i can cook and clean, give all the sex styles in kamasutra, be at a man's beck and call and be his to command. I am not trying to satisfy everybody.

But then everyone is entitles to their opinion

Don't change the narrative my dear, from your post you made it known you will be a blessing to the man, in other world you will become the light in the man's dark world.
You forget you are not even a blessing, if you were you would not open this thread.

Has it occurred to you that the kind of man you are looking for is a man that is already blessed?

Has it occurred to you that these kind of men may not even need you, that you need them more?
Ofcos not, a highly intelligent girl like you with so much education won't need scraps that can't even afford to leave the country. I mean
humble girls demand that her man relocate to another country because that is part of her specs,
is she arrogant for thinking a man the that will marry her will live a blessing filled life because she is without flaws? No.
Heck am sure you are angel that crash landed in the market, cos you never for once said you are a human being that also have their own baggage, You must be very humble indeed.

Go back and read your initial post with all your "requirements" write them down somewhere so you won't forget, cos you will need to revisit that post 5 years later.

midnighter:
I am not "emotional", Im just irritated by what these people are writing. Or maybe you should qualify your use of the word "emotional".

Insults have been flying left, right and centre throughout the thread, people have written all sorts but because I disagree vehemently with you people, you want to undermine my points by dismissing them as "emotion". Well, you cant!

If I were in OPs shoes I would have gone straight to the point when the girl showed up at my elder sisters house, lying and pretending. He is posting here and you people are hailing him because the girl is still alive. What if she wasnt? Even if she took fake sniper, it still could have gone wrong.

Somebody ended up at a police station just so that he could bear the name of "strong man" and feel like he's doling out justice and punishment.

What do I need to learn from the OP apart from passive-aggressiveness, situational ineptitude and immaturity? What exactly

Not to flare up when people are not on the same page with you.

Ladylite:
Aunti
Aunty

Calm down, go and enjoy your life.

You may not believe in religion now but I bet you when you are 35 you will know life is spiritual.


All this you explained here are normal for teenagers and under 25 girls.

Lady to Lady I tell you that you know even if you meet a mature guy with all that standard, he may not be interested in you and you are too proud to chase or beg.


See, you are not ready so move on and have fun with your life and other areas of your life.

IN your 30s try again by then the standards you spent so much time explaining now will not seem important to you.

Ciao

You deserve fresh fish for this post.

Harlequeen:
Yes i am. I am feminine, soft, good company, intelligent, just starting out my career, well read and so much more. The man who i end up with will be truly blessed.

These are the kind of women am worried about,
Those that think they are perfect.

In other words you will be doing the man a favor by being in his life.
That's a red flag with bright colors.

midnighter:
Thank you for your advice, in fact I'm smiling replying these and don't have an issue with my temperament but as you can see, some of the people in this thread are quite irritating to talk to.

I know you wont like to hear this but you can learn a thing or 2 from the Op, and thats being less emotional.
I for one feel if you were in the Op's shoes you would have skinned the girl alive, and this happens when you are a slave to your emotions.

midnighter:
This has nothing to do with being nice or generous.

If he had confronted her and reported her to their family members in the first place he wouldn't be wasting his time visiting her in hospital.

The woman has been whining him with stupid behaviours since he caught her with that guy and he just allowed her continue until the whole thing ended with him and her father in the police station. Is it not the biggest pile of rubbish you have ever heard of

How can the stupid girl show up at your sisters house without informing you after clubbing all night with a strange man and you have nothing to say about it

He couldn't even answer the sister who has been buying clothes for her since, as her baby in-law. Very soon he will bring a new girl without even explaining WTF happened to this one. So your sister should keep buying clothes every time you change girls without any explanation right

No serious person behaves like that. He was just being dramatic to entertain himself and you people giving him morale, simple!

I get your point of view, but the way try to put your message across needs some refining. You should work on your temperament,

KoiceReloaded:
So you're still going on about this, something I had forgotten. You're so wrong on the bolded though. Seems you don't know what feminism is all about.

The whole point of feminism is to fight for parity for women. To empower women to do more within the society, to be part of decision making process that they are previously denied. Feminism is not willing to be a second class citizen because of your gender. Feminism is the process that engenders power in women over their own lives, society, and in their communities. Women are empowered when they are able to access the opportunities available to them without constraints, and restrictions such as in education, profession and lifestyle.

Being a housewife or a "damsel" (whatever that signifies) undermines the very essence of feminism. A housewife is someone who is willing to be an object for their husband's gratification. A willing housewife is not a feminist for the fact that she doesn't want to be empowered. She doesn't want to be part of a decision making process. Feminism is not for all women, because not every womon has the compulsory qualities needed to procure enlightenment.

Pertaining to your number 2, I concur that a female lead can be anti-feminist, which is why I emphasized "strong" in the "strong female lead". Some female leads are just there to promote misogyny and the misconceptions that women are dumb. These female leads are the antithesis of strong, and you're liable to find them in B-horror movies.

Margaret Thatcher was a feminist, even if she didn't know it. The first female UK prime minister, she reached the apex of political potency, and had men quaking in their boots. She was nicknamed the "Iron Lady" for a reason, you know? Thus, tagging her anti-feminist doesn't make any sense. It's ironic.

You should read more on the subject, and stop this Bechdel test bullshit. That shit doesn't factor in here.

A willing house wife is also empowered, to raise and nurture a human being is one the crucial role of a woman, to divert from this is to become something less, in summary if you take away what makes a woman unique, then its no longer feminism, its now a competition with a disadvantage.

There can be no feminism without choice, so if a woman "CHOOSES" to retire and become a housewife does that mean is not a feminist? in terms of decision making how many men even make decisions that affect the society in the first place, if you are in no position to influence decisions it doesnt matter the gender, you input wont count.

The reason for feminism in the first place is what is happening in the Arab countries.
To have a choice and equal respect is one of the main reasons for feminism, cos as it is women already have their hands full due to their biological make up. A man cant compete with a woman's strong point, same with a woman, but to cross them over is where folly begins.

Feminism is all about what you choose to do with your life (just like how a men choose what they want to do with their lives), if a woman CHOOSES to be a housewife, while all her friends decides to be career people, is she still a feminist? ofcourse.

TheGoodJoe:
She called this morning and afternoon letting me know her movements. Like hinting that she has taking correction but I am not buying it.

I believe you love this girl very much, am not going to promise you that she will change, but I can assure you one thing, you wont be happy with yourself when you start thinking later on you should have given it your all.

People make mistakes - its inevitable, maybe she took your warnings as a bluff.
If you are going to break up, it should be something you wont have second thoughts about, but for this one its obvious you are having second thoughts - thats why you are here.

My advise? take the stress off your heart/mind and make up with her,
I first asked if she was communicating, but since you said she is keeping in touch, then its a good sign. She is trying to put up fight to make it work (ofcos she wont throw herself on the ground for you like she is going to die because of you even when they are dying inside - wont give you that), I dont forgive easily but sometimes I do it to have a clear conscience that i did not make a mistake (its called second chance). If she is not ready to make this relationship work, it will fall apart again in no time, by that time you wont need our opinion, you would have seen it clearly and take a decision.

REMEMBER
People are raised from different backgrounds, what may be irritating to you maybe the norm for some people.

If you meet another lady the chances are is that she may have been fvcking another guy(s) for years before she comes your way, so its all about who understands you and make you happy that counts, not her body count.

Its ok to have these kinds of fights in a relationship, but you must make sure to the issue is given a good trashing so that it doesnt repeat itself (talk about it).

No one is perfect.

We all make mistakes.

You are not without flaws, so is she.





She may be hurting because of what you have done, so when you guys make up, you owe her an apology (and I believe she will do same - if not thats a red flag).
Best of luck.

MrCork:

NOW WE NO!

1. They are lightskin..this means they look like half cast or white women with natural curve & more beautiful (fact)

2. They don't cheat.. lightskin women are calm..they never cheat

3. They never wear weave. Lightskin females have natural long hair like half cast chicks or white women. (Real talk)

4. They always spek good English & never pigeo
English (true story)

5. They usually go for cute guys around 5"1, from London, who drives BMW, loves women, romantic & make them happier..guys like the Mr CORK! ( Real talk)

Another stupidity harvest, Pls fill up your baskets.

TheGoodJoe:
Thank you. Very nice.

I have a job but where we had problem was I had another source of income from another company to complement my salary. So this extra source gave us a lot of leverage to leave a bit flamboyantly.

Unfortunately, I lost that extra source and our lifestyle reduced. However, I still bear most of the burden while I source to get my contacts to plug back the extra source.

Pointed noted.

How long have you guys been without communication, and has she contacted you since then to find out why the sudden change?

Shibaraba:
Make I no lie this list some men go happily pay for an akwa ibom lady or a calabar lady.
Sweet kpekus...... Present sir.
Hard working...... Present sir.
Solid cooking....... Present sir
Overly caring.........present sir
Thick Yansh......... Present sir.
Solid body............ Present sir
Good manners..... Very present sir
Respect for husband... Present sir.

What else does a man want. You think say na small thing dey make aboki chop plenty koboko because he wan marry? Once you know the value of wetin you want you can go to any length to acquire that thing. We sef know how we starve ourselves to buy that our special car, house or phone. If she is great she is worth it.


Unlike some ladies wey I no fit pay ordinary stick of cigar for.

Another sweet lie.

Rokia2:
What’s the story though?

Do we know if he fu...ck..Ed her sister or probably cheated with 20 other women.

The fact that he will go to this length the sin must be great.

I have a theory, some of these guys that come back to beg have just realized that the main chick is far more better in bed and as person than the girl they cheated with.
That's why they come crawling back suddenly realizing what they have.
This guy won't be kneeling his weak ass down here if the reverse was the case.

Dimples0303:
I'm obviously playing along...

Apologies then, to my initial post.

Dimples0303:
Dump the he-losho, you can do better! All men are scum

Exactly even though you are a product of the scum.

More like "can you die for cancer? "

Pinkie2018:
I mean the relationship shouldn't be based on whether she's intellectual or not, relationship is supposed to be about being their for each other, companionship, preparing for marriage. Trust me most ladies that display their intelligence all the time sometimes scare men away. I for one usually always show my intelligence in talks with guys trust me, they don't always feel comfortable.

Then you are rolling with the wrong crowd.

A ruthless display of worthlessness.

Born2Freak:
Transgender, actually.

And no, it is just a moniker that helps me escape bans

Ahem...

How does a guy with hairy balls decides to front like a female (f) on social media, doesnt it makes you sick to your stomach that guys maybe shoving their diicks in your DM becuase of the name on your moniker?

dont you think its better to start the prospect of entertaining multiple diicks on a honest note? at least this can separate the straight(s) from the faggs (sorry - the chaffs).

Viking007:
Terminator? Is it that bad? I thought the trailer was great and I've already planned on going to watch it this weekend.

Watch the movie and give it your own thoughts, I have seen some great movies that were trashed here.

Frank123Tim:
Boys like sex, girls like money. If the boy doesn't ask for sex and the girl doesn't ask for money. Who will lose and win?

The girls will loose,
Girls enjoy both sex and money,
Girls stand to GAIN money AND sex

Boys enjoys sex, BUT will loose money for it.
So boys gain sex, but DONT GAIN money.

So in summary, the girls stand to loose.

safarigirl:
where did she state that she recognized a camera in the room?

She only inferred that since there was a compromising video of her from that room, there must have been a camera. She clearly said "I didn't know there was a camera....."

What is wrong with some of you? Did you not learn English comprehension in school?

ok ma, so you were present in the room to know all this? what if the guy came out to say the lady in question consented? what then? you are just blabbing about charges. So in the video clip the guy possessed voodoo powers to bend her will to make it look consensual? it people like you that pushed a lady to accuse Neymer of rape only for them to find out how stupid there are, someone said she used rape to defend herself, with all your education you are utterly useless where common sense is needed.

safarigirl:
1.it is not established that the boy is under the influence

2. He cannot even claim drunkenness, because he placed a recording device in the room with the INTENTION of recording a SEXUAL ACT.

3. He did this, without duly informing the girl that there was a recording device in the room. His intent was malicious, so, he cannot plea drunkenness.

Furthermore, the recorded video that was in his possession, has ended up with her boyfriend; distribution of pornographic material, conspiracy to blackmail.

God should help that boy, because the charges against him are so many and no pleas of drunkenness will help him.

He had actus reus and mens rea.

And you were in the room to establish the girl gave no consent?
How could a girl that claim to have blurry vision recognize a camera set in the room?

Her statement stinks.

pamelaayomide:
After raping me he left before I woke up.
I was inebriated by the effect of the alcohol to stop him.
Since the act I haven't set my eye on him,so where will I find him to confront.

just stop all this you hear,
So now you stand on the fact that you were raped? which rape victim calls her rape scene a sextape?

look at the name you gave this thread "MY BOYFRIEND THREATENED TO LEAK MY SEXTAPE" no victim of rape will open a thread like this without seeking justice first, what happened to naming this thread a rape thread? the incident of rape came up in your last paragraph after you suspect your careless act will go online.
you are not sorry for what you have done, you are only concerned about the your sex video ending up on pornhub. So you now change the narrative to rape.
Brace yourself and get what is coming to you.

midnighter:
Yes, they can arrange a time to meet and thrash the issue out later down the line so that they will both get their stories straight and get some closure.

What I am disagreeing with here is the notion that the OP should indulge her childish antics and bow down to her cheap manipulations. She is the one who should to do the running here and not him.

Why is she writing rubbish on whatsapp instead of going to meet her husband Is he a monster that she can't go to his house or has she suddenly been struck dumb that she can't call him?

If she wants to get a message across to him she should behave like an adult and explain what happened, and not resort to cheap emotional blackmail and subliminal messages on whatsapp.

You guys are acting like she made so much effort and went through so many channels to communicate with him but he's not listening, which is not the case

Such energy,
it's like you are one that won't quit a relationship without a fight.

Depressed101:
not her, but you, you would have felt better, no doubt. Forget what everyone is telling you.

You are talking about closure, in this case it's not necessary.

They both looked each other in the eye, and both know what is coming next, that's why the girl was in shock, followed by that cryptic message on the girl's whatsapp dp.
The girl knew it's over, any other thing that will make the Op contact the girl will be for make up, unless you only want the Op to go meet her and state the obvious.

LoveThemChubby:
Don't play the scum card here madam. You went to a party without your bf expecting to dance and grind with who? Of all the three the guy didn't rape any but you why? You termed it rape but didn't report(understandable) and even when your bf confronted you with it you denied at first. Then later 'defended' yourself that it was rape. If tables had turned, would you have believed him that it was rape? He wasn't a scum until you did what you did so stop using that incident to call him names.
From what you said, the guy is a gentleman that's why he even asked you first so you can clear your name. From what you said, you certainly didn't feel any remorse while saying it and am sure that's what got him angry.

Am surprise many people are blind to this fact, rape accusations is not something you throw about lightly all the bid to "defend" yourself. She should be very careful or else she will end up like the lady in Neymer's case.

Imagine her trying to take advantage of cheating on her fiance.

Depressed101:
the way you broke up with her wasn't the best way, i can assure you psychological/emotionally you will not be ok, you should have confronted her in the present of that guy, i once broke up with a girl like, i was not ok for sometime.. You should told that guy the kind of lady she is or something. Now your family members who know about your relationship with her will think you were not probably serious with her with the way you left, to seek sane mental health, we must sort things out by communication instead of just walking away.... I wish you peace of mind and a better partner.. Don't give up on relationship

She is not worth the trouble.

NaijaDonCast:
the best way is to trace and threaten the rapist guy of charges in connection with felony, breach of privacy and conspiracy, by so your fiancee will see he will also go in for it, because how come he got the tape if they don't mutually know each other

Be careful about the kind of advice you give here, the law is like a double edged sword, it cuts both ways, she may end up paying for damages for false accusation on rape, the Op said she was drunk, she knew what's was going on, and it was blurry and weak and bla bla bla,
then out of the blue she mentioned rape, if the guy gets a competent lawyer she will beg for out of court settlement.

cao:
In the Shadow of the Moon.

Wasted his life tracking down his own grand daughter, for some reason there was no butterfly effect on changing the past. Its a good movie, just a few loose ends as always with time travel.