₦airaland Forum

JustforMen:
Domestic Violence is totally evil and inexcusably bad. It has no place in civilized human society.

Now, what is domestic Violence?

What does it mean?

What are the forms it takes?

Questions begging for answers

Ladies& Gentlemen!!!!!!
What is the first thing you will check the first time you'll visit your partner?
Me: Kitchen, bathroom and bedroom

TheWolfen:
And u think online the best place to get a mate?
Think again

Let him try

RoyalBlu:
*Living within your means helps a great deal in WHEREVER you find yourself.

True but most Nigerians don't know that abroad you pay bills like kilode

Kobojunkie:
Oh, she eventually left? That is good to know.

I don't agree that children born in the midst of abuse grow up to become abusers themselves. Instead, children who are not well trained do.

Research Institute of human psychology has done research in over 80 countries about the bolded and the advise that victims of domestic violence shouldn't give birth because it will be a continuous circle. There are about 8 cases of domestic abuse at Panti all the abuser mother told us that they were abused by their sons father

In January 2019, Omotola Jalade shared on her IG that she was grateful that at 40, her last child is already in the University. Remember, she has four kids and she married quite early.

Funke Akindele (Jenifa) congratulated her on the post. Funke is 41, and just had her first babies in December of that same year.

Now, if you try to compare these two women, you'd fail at it because they are both accomplished. Will you say Funke is unfortunate for just having her first babies at 41 while Omotola's last child is already in the University?

My point here?
Stop comparing yourself with others! Your life journey isn't the same with anyone, irrespective of societal expectations.

Not everyone will get married in their twenties, not every couple will have a baby nine months into marriage, not everyone will become a millionaire in their thirties. Some people will get their dream jobs at 40, it doesn't mean they've failed. Some will become CEOs at 55.

Please, learn to focus on your life. I know it's a difficult thing to do in this era of social media where everyone seems to be doing well in life except you. Don't compare your life journey with others, not even your classmates or siblings.

There are only CLASSMATES, there are no LIFEMATES. You're your only mate in life.

Whenever you're tempted to compare yourself with others (which makes you to feel pressured and sad), come back to this post and digest every word...
Good afternoon fam❣

Foodqueen:
That's cool. But be careful of the journey you are about to start o ....

Why? Explain

Kobojunkie:
I said it before...women need to start having these serious conversations amongst themselves.

Unfortunately we wouldn't. A friend married an abuser, all the red flags were there for all to see(smoker, drinker and womaniser) but she went ahead to marry him, she has broken ribs, hospitalized countless time, STD's and in the end the last beating was what made her leave.

Women in abusive marriage please � don't give birth because you are only producing an abuser. Go to the hospital and insert it in your vaginal

Jbn11:
Who will help me with fund to start my business?

I will remain loyal and respecful.
Am losing hope my dream is dying down

Ask your pastor neighbors colleagues at work and siblings

Domestic Violence Is An Accepted Nigerian Epidemic
Domestic violence is a funny problem because everyone online fights against it and indoors dey practice it

Domestic violence is not an issue of today its something that is done regularly in our society and its often commonly overlooked , there is no Nigerian that hasn't seen a man beating his wife , from neighbors to friends even movies show it, its a common thing here, when kids or young boys see men beating their wives they accept that its the way to handle issues , the fact the social media has made it possible for people to reach out Doesn't mean that it will stop , its normal to nigerians so stop hoping for any change , instead be observant

The problem is the women not the men b4 u eat me raw hear me out

Antelope when know wetin lion be has no business staying in the same house with it - jude 2017

If a woman is dating a man , it only takes one incident for her to know that he is a violent person , maybe one day she annoys him and he insults her or slaps her a normal woman with brain in her head will run away from that relationship no matter how hard the guy begs but when this happens to most women they will stay because of love or they are desperate for marriage if he is rich , they will be hoping that he will change over time. When you marry a man that has slapped u b4 or is quick to insult u , expecting marriage to change him is desperation my sister

If u know that ur man is hot tempered and you're desperate or u love him them learn to handle him , dont talk back at him when he is angry , become a sheep after all you're the desperate person , if ur brain they work u learn to live with it

When u see news or stories of a man beating a woman , don't be deceived the man didn't just beat her for the first time that day , he has been doing it for a very very long time , na that day own u hear

Most women will talk bad about it but when it happens to them they are quiet , the common nigerian thing of no be my matter people go hear

Conclusion; Nigerian society encourages it , even our leaders beat their wives , ebonyi state governor , if a random man beats his wife and he is arrested , he wouldn’t be convicted because even if its a crime they dont see it as one , police will tell him to calm down and na woman she be , in short they will call the beaten wife and advice her to learn to respect her husband

This is us , its the way we are , when we now see threads about it , guys that beat women will be shouting no its wrong as if they are any better , all na internet holiness


its simple my sisters

From you're mad to a slap to push to punch to beating to knife to strangle to I will kill you till he eventually kills you

The domestic violence thing isn't an individual problem its a Nigerian problem

if a man slaps u, insults u or gets angry easily dont marry him run as fast as ur legs can carry u

Are these things real?

I don't understand what you have written

bamideleoyin:
Hi am oyindamola by name
Stayed in ibadan
Am 24yr Old
Am a journalist and script writer by profession,i need a someone i can talk and rub minds with not a boring type.
I want a serious relationship.

You are a journalist and you write like this

Then why get married?

Wahala

How? That age is the prime age for the average Nigerian man

dxdiag:
She took in like 4 times but miscarried on those occassions, now nothing is even popping up again.
One of the tube got blocked, but one is still active.
Then this fibrods too, done surgery once but the fibrods re back again and we both don't want another operation again.
We ve seen specialist countless of time, used herbs,expensive drugs, spent money, prayed and all that.
Pressure from family member too is there, @times everythings seems not to make sense again.
I just ve to be strong, but am human.........am weak at times too

try eekfertllity on Instagram

dxdiag:
It will be well bro, you re not alone.
God will glorify himself in this situation.
Mine is 5years plus and we still believing God.
Its not easy i must say.

What's the issues?

Hormonal imbalance
Blocked tubes
Low sperm count
See a fertility specialist not a regular physician

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When I retire to bed every evening ruminating over life, I discovered that:
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Sometimes, to succeed in life you need ENEMIES.... Yes!!!
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You need people who will mock you, so that you can run to God.
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You need people who will try to intimidate you, so that you can be courageous.
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You need people who will say "NO" so that you can learn how to be independent...I mean how to do it yourself.
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You need people who will disappoint you so that you can put all your trust in God alone.
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You need people who will work towards you loosing that job, so that you can start your own big business.
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You need people who will sell your 'Joseph' so that 'you' can get to Egypt and be a Prime Minister in a strange land of captivity.
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You need a cruel landlord, so that you won't be too comfortable in someone else's house, then you can build your own house on time.
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But sometimes, when we are disappointed, we feel very bad and we tend to remain on that spot. Not knowing that the end-point of disappointment is the beginning of your accomplishments.
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Understand this, "that every disappointment you once had came with a blessing!" However, it is not everyone that partakes in this blessing that I'm talking about.
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You cannot see a new OPEN door while you are still putting all your attention, time and energy in trying to force the closed one to open.
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And again I say, "No disappointment can ever come without an attached blessing!"
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So, when the disappointment come, thank God for it and tell "HIM" to open your eyes to see the new blessing that HE has for you!
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Disappointment is PHASE 1 while accomplishment is PHASE 2. I doubt if one can jump the protocols.
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That is why it is called BREAKTHROUGH Something must BREAK so that you can go THROUGH!
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Encourage someone today....you are lifted.
Please don't thank me for this post but bless others by sharing this. God bless you all.
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eglobalcafe:
Hello roommate, please I need advice on my marriage please, I should have ask this questions to people around me but I don't want them to use that against me later, that's why I prefer to come here and ask this question anonymously, please help me,

My problem is, I got married 3 years ago and me and my wife have been finding it difficult to get pregnant, we went to hospital and it's hormonal imbalance, we have tried and it's still not working and we were advised to come for IVF, which will cost me 1.5m,
Please note I b met my wife as a virgin.
I love my wife and I have never used this pregnancy issues against her like making her feel bad or insulting her, rather I have been the one talking her out of depression because of this child of a thing, am confused because am getting feed up, my mother said, na God they give person piking, and we should focus on herbs. But am getting fed up and my wife loves me so much, same to me but whenever I see my friends who are not even married shows their children or visits me I get weak and pained same as my wife. Am Confused and my mum always tell me this, do what you need to do at this your early age so you won't suffer when you're old so you have children to take care of you, am 35 and my wife is getting to 30 this year. My wife is so jealous, she said she's greedy when it's comes to her husband that she doesn't want to share me with anyone. And she said if I want to get another wife I should let her know so she can goto her father's house, I never told her I want to marry another woman but due to she can't give me children now makes her say all this . Please help me as I have the urge to impregnate another woman just because I need a child. Please those who are married help me. I wish to be patient with her till God bless us. But me and my wife not happy. We are doing well atleast conformable and she does not lack anything.

And who says hormonal imbalance can't be cure. Oga, you need to be patient or you just want to use it his as an excuse and cheat.

What's happens to death do us apart, in sickness and in health, now is the time to man up and look for the best doctor, wait a minute! You could be even be the problem what's your sperm motility, guy go check yourself too. Anyway check eekfertllity on Instagram Thank me later.

Lovely write up

Dear Mummy and Daddy......

Daddy, don't wear ordinary boxer at home, you sit down, your 'thing' is dangling and your daughter is seeing it. There are things you should not wear beyond your bedroom, just for your spouse. Don't say because you want to enjoy your freedom in your house. It's not your house alone, it's a family house/home. You are putting your children into sexual bondage through these acts. The initiation starts from home.

Mummy, wearing ordinary bra around the house in the presence of your sons is dangerous. Yes, they won't lust after you, but you might be messing up with their sensuality; and increasing their curiosity to see the breasts of ladies out there.

Let's stop being 'pornographic materials' to our children. Raising sexually pure children, it begins at home.' It begins with me and you.

My Counsel:

Thank you very much for the issues raised in family section. It is still our responsibility to build virtue into our family. We need to learn from others.

Still on building virtuous homes.
Look at this:

*HABITS THAT SHOW IMPROPER UPBRINGING IN CHILDREN*
Please, carefully look into the list below to see where you may want to make amends on yourself or the young ones you are caring for.

Children, if not properly groomed may never get to the top in life, even if the parents are at the top of their career.

Manners take you to where your education can't take you, irrespective of your status, money or the "who you know" factor

This is not meant to hurt anyone or pinpoint on someone for their upbringing. Its a general message targeted to all the parents of today.

*1.* Going to your child's school dressed indecently? Think again.

*2.* Speaking rashly to your child's teacher.

*3.* Cursing, using foul words or swearing in front of your children.

*4.* Using makeup on children.

*5.* Dressing with tight clothes and indecently for children (they loose the sense of their princesshood and may not listen to you in future)

*7.* Your child holds the cup or glassware by the brim and you don't make a correction.

*8.* Your children don't greet and you just feel they will come around one day because they have a mood swing. (You will be blamed for it)

*9.* Your children eat with their mouth opened and you feel they will grow up some day.

*10.* Your children brought home something you did not buy for them and you said nothing. (That is the beginning of stealing)

*11.* They talked back at you and you concluded it's okay since you're a 21st century mummy. (You will hate yourself if they do that outside and they are disciplined)

*12.* They interrupt when you are speaking with another adult and you think they are bold and clever. (It's really bad manners)

*13.* They exercise authority over their nanny and domestic staff and you let them be. (That is bad parenting)

*14.* They say things like "my driver is on his way..."

I am not an advocate that children should call your domestic staff aunty or brother but, calling them by names when they are not young people is not poise either. The use of Miss, Mr or Mrs will look good on them.

*15.* Your children don't say- 'Thank you' when they have been helped or served something. They don't know how to say "please" when they need someone for help; and you are cool with that. (Bad parenting)

*16.* When your children cannot stand children who are less privileged.

*18.* When they pick their nose with their hands.

*19.* When they don't wash their hands after visiting the washroom.

*20.* When your children take something from the fridge without taking permission. (Bad parenting)

*21.* When your children don't knock on closed doors.

*22.* When your children don't collect from your hands the stuff you brought in as you walk in through the door.

*23.* When your children request for a bribe to carry out their home chores or extra task. (That is disgraceful)

*24.* When your children act like their grandparents are irritating them.

*25.* When your children have not learnt to get up from the chair for the elderly or visitors to sit.

*26.* When your child tells a lot of lies. (You will both cry in the future if such is not put to check)

*27.* When your child asks "who is that?" at a knock on your door instead of "please, who is there."

*28.* When your child is always seated by your visitors when being served drinks etc.

*29.* When your children still point their fingers at other people.

*30.* When your children play and jump around when prayers are going on. (age 4 above).

Don't be a 21st Century parent who cannot correct a child. Train your child in the way of the Lord, so that when he grows up he will not depart from it.

*IT IS BETTER TO LET YOUR CHILDREN CRY AT AN EARLY AGE WHEN YOU CORRECT THEM, IF NOT YOU WILL BOTH CRY AT NIGHT WHEN THEY BRING DISGRACE TO THE FAMILY WITH BAD AND TERRIBLE BEHAVIOURS!*

May Almighty God never let this be our portion. Amen.

"A STITCH IN TIME SAVE S NINE.

toffyz:
Are you 100% sure she's still alive?
Are you still seeing her online?

Yes and her accomplice is Blessing she has been traced to Badore Ajah. I will update you soon