Richy4's Posts

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Family › Re: My Life's A Mess by Richy4(m): 12:48pm On Aug 28, 2019

Watercarrier:
Somehow, he figured it out

Good for you!!.. this matter is adjourned

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Family › Re: My Life's A Mess by Richy4(m): 12:35pm On Aug 28, 2019

Logobenz3:
Excuses to make underachievers feel good with their useless selves.
Leave Invictus out of it.
Atleast he is more useful to the FBI and FG more than most self acclaimed HONEST Nigerians.
Yeye dey smell
At 23,a young man must not have a lot of money but should have direction atleast.
Either business, corporate world or labour.one of the 3.
Without any at this point,then I would say the person is heading for destruction seriously.
Nwanne leave your comfort zone and go hustle with your mates.
Whether legit or illegit,you will get your hailings from men own this side.
Chose wisely

I don't mean to quote you, But I can't wrap my head around the motives behind your advice.. is this advice meant for OP or someone else?

Based on the information we were able to gather from him, He is a student in some college.. So what's do u mean by him not having a direction?

Secondly, what do u mean when you said he should go and hustle with his mates.. I did not read where he said money was his problem.. Besides, it's not as if Nigeria is an advanced country where you can study and find a part time work at the same time.. there are millions of people looking for a full time employment all over the cities.

Don't you think that your advice will be putting an unnecessary pressure on him.. and in the name of being an achiever you have even encouraged him to do illegal things.. This is an Internet, it's not only Nigerians that comes to this website.. I know our ID and image is not good anywhere in the world.. some of us are trying to salvage a little dignity from what was left.. please stop promoting or encouraging kids to go to the wrong path

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Family › Re: My Life's A Mess by Richy4(m): 8:40am On Aug 28, 2019

blackpanthar:
Lets solve your issues. by addressing them one by one.

1) YOU HAVE NO DIRECTION... this is because you must be very good at many things BUT not fulfilled in ANY ONE THING. You feel indebted to helping others become better rather than helping yourself. This is called SELF VICTIMIZATION. You need serious continuous sessions of counseling and a break... you need to take a break from your life as you know it.

2) YOU HAVE NO REAL FRIENDS.... People around you are very parasitic, they only come around to FEEL GOOD and to get you to satisfy them... WELL, you need to cut off from them till you can have real friends who are there for you, and not for what you can offer.

3) YOU ARE COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS... This affects everyone but to cure this, YOU NEED A MENTOR or GUIDE who can help you with DIRECTION and CAUTION and HELP you focus on one thing at a time till you complete it.

4) YOU HAVE A SOFT WEAK HEART.... you can not make tough decisions to break this endless cycle of frustrating boredom. You need to really be strong. Much of ADULTHOOD is being able to be internally strong and deliberately make your life what you want it to be.

5) YOU ARE SEEKING FOR BALANCE.... and this is good BUT sadly.... no one has achieved balance yet... not even the wealthy peeps... Its a lifelong quest. So this is where you need God in your life... so you surrender your stress and psychological pressures to him via prayer and worship... The solution to the ENDLESS DESPERATE SEARCH FOR BALANCE issss....... PEACE. You need to be at peace even in the midst of the STORM... ITS OKAY IF SOMETHING ARE NOT YET WORKING... ITS OKAY... They will work later.

6) YOU NEED LOVE.... At your age, you should have a girlfriend for emotional succor and support... not just for sex. Someone you can just allow yourself to relax with. kindly consider this.

7) ASIDES A MENTOR OR GUIDE, You need to REWARD YOURSELF at every point where you achieve some level of success... it can be a vacation or even a treat....

I WISH YOU WELL BRO, DEPRESSION IS TOO WEAK TO CLAIM YOU. You are strong.

I'm not doubting what you have said here but I want to know how you figured out what he wanted... he wasn't talking and was not giving anyone any information to work with... And it is wrong to assume what he wanted without him talking.. at least what we can do is to let him talk some more.. and Nairalanders asking few questions without being aggressive about it..He needs to clear his head and let some air out.. before diagnosis

1 Like 1 Share

Politics › Re: Sagay: Nigerians Traveling Abroad Will Be Subjected To Inhuman Treatment by Richy4(m): 1:26pm On Aug 27, 2019

I can't even remember the time we had good name/image oversea.. So what's his point?

1 Like

Family › Re: I Need Advice On What To Do by Richy4(m): 2:37pm On Aug 26, 2019

I don't know why this write up reminds me of Romance section those days here in Nairaland around 2009.. when i couldn't differentiate family section from Romance Section

... It doesn't look like family section thread lipsrsealed

......

Science/Technology › Re: Russia World's Only Floating Nuclear Power Plant Can Power 100000 Nigerian Homes by Richy4(m): 4:39am On Aug 26, 2019

Speaking of Power supply.. Some times I think that Nigeria and the Citizens are kind of lucky.

Let us say assuming that Nigeria is a country that has winter.. How will the citizens cope with the constant epileptic power supply especially when the temperature drops to -10 or less degrees?

6 Likes 1 Share

Family › Re: I Will Marry A Northerner, Likely. by Richy4(m): 11:46am On Aug 25, 2019*

I'm gonna act like your big bro here and suggest that you stay a little while ( single i mean) before you jump into anything.. promiscurity know no Ethnicity or Country...

Speaking of the north.. how well do you know the language? If she starts making fluent and rapid conversation to an unknown person in her language over the phone, u asked, and she tells you that it's her brother, uncle or former school mates, are u gonna doubt her?.. How will you figure it out that it was whom she actually claims that it was? Please be careful..

Don't commit on a relationship just because of stereotypes.. Relationship is about trust not where you came from..

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Family › Re: 27-year-old Woman Marries 83-year-old Man, Says It Was Love At First Sight by Richy4(m): 8:05pm On Aug 24, 2019

Bravery... How did this young woman managed to look into her ancestor's eyeballs and profess her love for him..? shocked

Family › Re: Please Advise Me On This. by Richy4(m): 12:32pm On Aug 24, 2019

I'm just curious.. Do Nigeria have people working as social workers? have anyone encountered one before? I just want to know..

@ OP.. thanks you for your kindness.. In my opinion, U know that some people were not meant to be fathers.. Going to his house or work place to confront him to check his daughter, is that even what a stranger should remind a father? Is that what u want to be doing every month? .. to tell an adult that it's time for him to check on his daughter? Why do you want to make yourself sad?

Just assume that you have adopted a daughter through default.. I will only add that if u have the means to track her mother down.. it might be better for her to do the visiting.. It will also reunite her with the other sibling.. she might not be well off.. but her daughter can stay at your place while her mother visits..

Once again, Thank you and may God enlarge your coast because of your generosity

7 Likes

Family › Re: Nigerians Are Dirtiest Africans Ever by Richy4(m): 6:00pm On Aug 23, 2019*

Kendumazy:
Op seems to be a troll. Check her previous threads, it's all about Nigerians this, Nigerians that.

That in my opinion is not even the main issue.. I was expecting a statistical analysis of Nigerians and the names of the African Countries she was comparing Nigerians with..

How many Nigerians and other african countries that took part in her research before arriving at that conclusion... At this day and age, do people still throw unsubstantiated assertion without care?

Is it that she doesn't know anything about statistics or what?

1 Like 1 Share

Family › Re: My Three And Half Year Old Son Inability To Speak Properly: Please Help by Richy4(m): 6:15am On Aug 22, 2019*

Sir.. please go and sit down and leave that boy alone.. There's nothing wrong with him.. just 3yrs , what do u want him to talk about at that age? Compering him with other kids is gonna be a big mistake u will be making as a parent.. is he competing with anyone? Is he not unique in his own way?

Assuming he was talking too much @ the age of 3, you would have been here again to say that your son pronounces everything under the planet, and you will be asking if it was normal...

I bet you would want him to graduate from the university @ 13.. and get a mouth watering job @ 15.. you are a good example of Y2K parent... but hey don't take my word for it.. if u have cash to hand over to someone for no reason, just look for a speech therapist.. he/she will help you spend your excess money.. he/she might figure out what to have a 3yrs old kid to pronounce.. since he will be doing his convocation at 13 from the university of Lagos .. lipsrsealed

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Family › Re: This OSU Thing Want To Separate Me With The Woman That I Love by Richy4(m): 9:46pm On Aug 21, 2019

needful:
I just fell in love with your write ups. Best comment in nairaland since this 2019. Your comment just described how intelligent and matured you are. Keep it up dear

Thanks

Family › Re: This OSU Thing Want To Separate Me With The Woman That I Love by Richy4(m): 7:51pm On Aug 21, 2019

Obataosu:
sir/ma'am, I'm too responsible to fake this type of information. is still in practice in my village. I'm not begging you to believe me.

I believed you man 100%.. though it seems as if it has been abolished but the stigma attached to anyone marrying from a different caste is a different ballgame...

if u think that you can endure the sidetalks from your family members, community and age mates, then go for it man.. what matters is what makes you happy.. others are just secondary..

But don't marry her now then tomorrow u start acting as if u did her a big favour by marrying her.. u succumb to pressure from family members and taunts from the community.. It is better for you to chicken out now that you can, instead of making her life a living hell in future.. Remember she has no fault in all of these.. she didn't asked to be born in a place where she will be discriminated upon

Just saying all these because the coded taunts will happen, Stupid remarks will occur, Some will try to annoy you deliberately.. are u ready to deal with it the best way that you can? Are you really ready to ignore their ignorance and stupidity? .. Are u ready to fight for your love for her? If yes then you are good to go..

just email me some cake after the wedding man.. I am crazy about lemon flavoured cake for your information .. I will appreciate it

... good luck buddy

Politics › Re: EFCC Denies Planning To Plant Foreign Currencies At Ambode’s Residence by Richy4(m): 2:27pm On Aug 21, 2019

How did the youths or whatever obtain the information that the EFCC were coming to search his home

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Family › Re: It Has Been 4 Years Now We Had Sex- A Husband Plight by Richy4(m): 1:02pm On Aug 21, 2019

My brother, I am not an expert in this kinda situation but in my humbly opinion, U have started pretty well by opening Business and all in terms of empowering her Financially...

You prayed together, do everything together.. That to me is a positive development if you ask me.. The thing is that you have been away throughout this relationship.. which was not any of your fault.. what u did is referred to as a man got to do what a man got to do... I got your back on that.. Do not beat yourself up.. You did nothing wrong in that aspect.

u want to have a normal relationship just like any other couple, just maybe Courtship is what might save it. Do it as a challenge... "act" as if you were courting her again for the second time.. Can you remember and do those things you did 10 years ago that made her came running to you?, maybe it is time to rekindle the spark and Fire u guys used to have .. romantic text message, Dinner once in a while in a Restaurant.. a time alone somewhere in a park without the children.. etc.. It's not compulsory that it must cost money..

FYI no one is too old for love/ Romance..just give it a go. there's no harm in trying.. Since we are all doing some suggestion here, if it doesn't work u try another..

2 Likes

Family › Re: Groom And His Family Chased Out Of His Wedding by Richy4(m): 10:48am On Aug 21, 2019*

Acidosis:
Bride price to a Christian is not an ancestor thing. To a Christian, bride price has its origin in the Bible. And no, we are not supporting injustice in any form, the late husband's family did not come to the woman or the bride to give them 50m or sponsor their vacation. They only came for bride price which in most instances is the least of all a parent stands to benefit from their children. While hang on to mere bride price (some few Naira notes, tubers of yam, red oil, and stuff like that).. Is that enough reason for a mother to create problems for her daughter?

Greed and perpetual hate are the reasons anyone would allow this thing create both physical and spiritual problems. We shouldn't nurture hate because some folks didn't care. That's the origin of witchcraft in Africa. What if they never had the capacity to? We make up so many stories about how someone didn't take up our burden and personal responsibilities even while they're yet to figure out their own lives. The responsibility is first on the parents.. whatever anyone does is a privilege.

Bride price by the way is not a reward to a father that spent millions training up her daughter. This is why some traditions accept as little as N100-N200, and then tell you to provide a few items. Holding this thing shouldn't be the pay back for a failed father or uncle?

It's even very wrong to do such a thing and proceed with any form of wedding (traditional or church) because all supports the payment of bride price to the father (and his relatives) of the bride.

Can the wedding proceed? of course, there are many magistrates that require only the couple and 2 witnesses so they're very free to join themselves the registry way. However, it doesn't take away the fact that traditionally and by the standard of their religion, no marriage has taken place.

First I just want to say that You are one of the guys I admire here on family section. due to most of your Intelligent posts.. But in this case, I don't think we are gonna be on the same page.. and it is normal for humans because we all got choices.. However, I will try my best and answer some of the issues you pinpointed..

Ancestors/ Christianity .......Ancestor a person, typically one more remote than a grandparent, from whom one is descended. If Biblical we were descendants of Abraham, So what do you think? Is he not one of our forefathers of Old?.. Is he not our ancestor?

Bride price mentioned in the Bible.. I believe that you are a Christian hence you have mentioned a lot of spiritual stuffs here..
If I am not mistaken, the first time a Bride Price was mentioned in the Bible was when Abraham asked his servant to go and get a wife for his Son Isaac... On his way, the servant prayed that God should help him and make his journey a success.. He said he is gonna stay at the well if any girl comes to draw water if he asked her for a drink and the girl says let me get for your animals too... that means she was the one that Isaac will marry.( meaning that she was well brought up, a wife material) When Rebecca cat walked to the well with her pot on that day, and repeated what the man had prayed for, The man's first question was who are your family or your people.. When he came to their house, he gave her immediate family gifts to show his gratitude for raising a kind-hearted and wonderful girl like Rebecca ...

Now in this case, what was the contribution of the paternal family of the lady in question?... Remember not everything is equated to money.. let us say that they were not financially capable. was there any moral support for the girl or for the mother during their struggle? Assuming one of the uncles of the lady in question was there for them, Do you think that the mother would have excluded him?..

According to the OP NONE of the Paternal Family was in their lives...People give gifts to people that merited it.. The paternal family should have come for their gift items if they were there to show moral support as the woman was raising her child.. even if it was my daughter study hard ok we are proud of you.. does that cost anything?.. You don't just do things just to be politically correct. It is wrong.. Assuming she turned out to be a no good in the society, would they have claimed she was their daughter?

And Sir, I do not agree with you that the mother was the root cause of the problem... please forget about gender card and be a little realistic. Even the Bible believed in sowing and Reaping.. If the girl was a gang star, we won't be debating here about bride price.. because it was the mother who made her so... Now that she was ok in the eyes of the society, The paternal family remembered they got a say in her marital life..

Family › Re: Groom And His Family Chased Out Of His Wedding by Richy4(m): 7:03am On Aug 21, 2019

olajigaolmid e:
he bri de's paternal family should immediately be arrested and jailed for causing kiosk and havoc

My brother, you are correct.. I didn't even want to take it that far but in a sane society, that should have been done.. I can't believe that some people were supporting this injustice in the name of tradition... As if it was wrong to question some tradition.. even nations including Nigeria some times check constitutions and double check were amendment is needed before it becomes a law..

I don't blame them. They were raised in a family were parents were supporting/ still supports each other.. no death issues, no abandonment... no divorce issues .. Nothing... So when you speaks of injustice it will sound like u were speaking Latin.. therefore It is safe to say that it is wise to experience or witness, certain things before passing judgment..

I have seen a single mother struggle to raise 2 kids..She put up a bold front every day but we that were working with her sees her daily struggle... The other day, her 12yr old wanted to go for school excursions.. no money to pay.. because if she pays for mortgage/insurance, car insurance, and other bills few amount will be left for groceries until the next fortnight payment .. and I know that Some single mothers were passing through the same phase in Nigeria..

Speaking of tradition, those supporting this injustice forgot that killing of twins were also part of African tradition.. It was a 'Norm' too.. It was someone that put a stop to it..

In terms of Bride Price, The question is the ancestors that introduced it, Are we leaving the same lifestyle that they lived long time ago? How many of them abandoned their children? Was there an alarming cases of divorce then? most of the daughters of the house grew up with relatives of the husband even in the cases of the demise of one of the parent.. So when they collect bride price, it is justified because they contributed towards the child's upbringing .. I believe in the idea of sowing and reaping.. Someone cannot just work at First bank and receive his or her salary at Standard Trust Bank.. it is not normal..

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Family › Re: Groom And His Family Chased Out Of His Wedding by Richy4(m): 11:36am On Aug 20, 2019*

Gloriagee:
This! Had to check your gender again tho

My mother raised me right.. I am proud of her. and my Dad raised a gentleman with Class... what kind of male species were u surrounded with that made u have some doubt

Family › Re: How Can She Bring Her Husband Back Home? by Richy4(m): 10:08am On Aug 19, 2019

The man registered his displeasure by embarking on a Strike action just like workers due to unfair treatment @ home...

The wife (as the federal government ) instead of addressing the issue raised about unfair treatment or making life a living hell for him..threatened arrest grin

Does that sound familiar

Culture › Re: How A Tribe, Kilba, In Adamawa Bury Their Dead (Photos) by Richy4(m): 6:58pm On Aug 18, 2019

Was it because there was scarcity of burial site or what..? That's just weird..

How can one be motivated to get rich in that state..
So after everything.. say 5yrs or 4yrs in University..got a good career... turned to a big business man, or successful in any career of your choice.. Built a good reputation and all... at the end u got forced into some hole.. no dignified funeral nothing...

Family › Re: Groom And His Family Chased Out Of His Wedding by Richy4(m): 6:07pm On Aug 18, 2019

sisisioge:
Thank you o...a very simple matter. In fact, they shouldn't have wasted money on a big ceremony in the first place.

Very simple option to take ... The kind of thing we hear happening in reality these days are things we thought only exists in soap opera..

Can you imagine such nightmare? How will that girl ever forgive the father for that? The money spent on food, clothes everything

Anyways he did it because he knows that the daughter has no place in her heart for him

Family › Re: Groom And His Family Chased Out Of His Wedding by Richy4(m): 5:46pm On Aug 18, 2019*

bukatyne:
I get you and I am saying while it is tempting to do so, it is not necessary.

To u it's not... But to others it is... Don't forget that a lot of people were invited to the wedding that didn't take place.. Few will be invited for the court wedding... How will they know that they have married through other way or means? With the pictures posted, he will use that means to thank everyone for coming for his first that suffered mishap and apologise for what happened..A lot of people will understand if they were not invited to attend the second..

If I were to be in his shoes, and another wedding was done successfully, I will tag it..." thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemy.." with a huge cake well decorated.. me and his daughter smiling behind the wedding cake..

I will take the pic and send it to him ... it's not compulsory anyone must like it... since I can't stoop to his level, that's my way of getting back at him even if it's 5mins anger on his face.. it is enough..

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Family › Re: Groom And His Family Chased Out Of His Wedding by Richy4(m): 4:58pm On Aug 18, 2019

bukatyne:
To what end?

Not necessarily.

And it is the girl's family that determines when a couple is married traditionally.

Same religiously.

Maybe you dI'd not understand me.. hope I wasn't speaking German.. I guess U quoted me wrongly... all I was saying is this, if the groom should send a picture of his court marriage to his 'father in law ' after what they did to him, I won't blame him for that..

1 Like

Family › Re: Groom And His Family Chased Out Of His Wedding by Richy4(m): 4:47pm On Aug 18, 2019

peepydelano:
Exactly,i think they reacted too harsh,but some people think the mum deserves that reaction she got from them.Mehn I no look back ooo as i headed straight back to base.The cake should be in the mercy of sympathisers or what will i call them.

People are really quick to pass judgment.. there's nothing new based on that fact..
They didn't know how the mother managed when the girl was sick.. How she might have had a sleepless night thinking about where the next school fees might come from.. how they will eat, if the landlord will chase them away due to inability to pay rent.. they don't know and they don't care... If the man was not there during all these storms in her life , why is it necessary to invite him when the ocean is calm..

People especially Nigerians should differentiate between a father and a sperm donor.. The difference is clear..

17 Likes 2 Shares

Family › Re: Groom And His Family Chased Out Of His Wedding by Richy4(m): 4:38pm On Aug 18, 2019

bukatyne:
After a successful court wedding, who is he advertising to by posting pictures online?

Would lack of public announcement annull or make the marriage void?

And some people that cannot build can destroy. The young couple should be mindful of the paternal family.

The paternal family disgraced them publicly.. he has the bragging right to let them know that the wedding still took place.. ie if he's into stuff like that... People cannot just be afraid for the rest of their life.. Every one will die someday... The fact that we are alive today, does not mean we will not go...It only means that the inevitable is being postponed for another day until the appointed time....
So if he send some pictures.. I won't blame him.. we are just reading it.. that is a total nightmare that shouldn't happen to anyone...

If I'm to be in the groom's shoes.. I will let him know that we got married eventually..

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Family › Re: Groom And His Family Chased Out Of His Wedding by Richy4(m): 4:04pm On Aug 18, 2019

Court wedding... He should take her lady and head straight to the court now that the whole marriage fever is still in the Air.. He should select few people to bear witness... After the wedding, If he was in social media crazy bandwagon, he can post the pictures on social media and make sure that the paternal side sees that he was not defeated... Two wrong cannot make a right.. If they can do something so disgraceful like what they did, I won't even want to see them if I was to be in that groom's shoes...

They shouldn't have done that stupid thing on their daughter's wedding day... That's the kind of things Christian women might see in their dreams/ nightmare and starts pleading the Blood of Jesus..

Though my concern is the cake.. the cake!!.... what happened to the cake? grin

13 Likes

Family › Re: . by Richy4(m): 1:06pm On Aug 18, 2019*

Number 5..

.. I don't remember ever being punished by my parents.. All my punishment was in boarding school.. as a junior those days From JS1 to JS3 ...

Though my most embarrassing moment in that school was not from a student but was carried out by our French Teacher..

She woke up from the wrong side of the bed that day... entered into the Classroom with all the french text book and distributed it to all of us .. she opened one chapter, read it 5 times and ask us to read locker by locker... see me see French...

Anyone that can't read was asked to submit the book, go outside and wait.. When It gets to my turn, I didn't even disturb myself trying.. I gave her back her book and waited outside.. Out of 34 students in JS3B, only three was able to read a little.. ..

She made us form three lines and asked us to parade the whole school doing marching.. under the Abuja hot sun.. The whole school were looking at us through the window and were laughing.. If her fellow teaching staffs asked her what happened, she said we don't know anything... I wanted to die of shame that day...

After that day, whenever her period comes up, we will all disappear.. she will only meet 5 or 6 students.. most of us will go to the library or another class just to stay away from her

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Family › Re: Counselors In The House Please Advise by Richy4(m): 10:53pm On Aug 17, 2019

OP, I did not want to say anything before because I believe you were looking for qualified counselors and yours truly is 99.999% far from that.. but I just want to say this as someone who cares...

You seems to have forgotten the greatest achievement that you have made/ keep making and that is why I wanna remind you of it... U have been taking care of your son singlehandedly for 6yrs.. Indirectly/ unknowingly instilling great value and moral in him by not turning your home to a brothel..U have been putting food on the table for him . That in my opinion is world class achievement.. not saying it to get your head swollen. That is just the truth..

In terms of the masters degree you were dreaming to pursue .. it is achievable. you can consider doing it as a part time. I know that people take billion years to achieve masters degree in Nigeria because of their sluggish academic style and strike actions.... just do it any time/year it is completed, good and fine..

In terms of relationships, hmmm!!!.. There's nothing wrong with you.. Just that u were stung by a bee and any housefly or mosquito that buzzes around you now seems like a bee.. Give a relationship a chance if that's what you want. . .. and try and be honest with the guy u were dealing with on why u were sceptical about taking it to the next level.. so that he himself won't think that there's also something wrong with him (u never can tell)... he might also help in terms of taking the baby steps with u as u heal emotionally...

In terms of depression.., This is what I used to tell my friends.. If u feel a sign of depression, Take a trip to the nearest Government Hospital or a busy clinic.. u will be energised.. u will feel blessed.. If u wanna take that trip to the next level, just ask if they got palliative care unit or ward..take a 6mins peep..I don't wanna say anymore... Goodluck

1 Like

Family › Re: My Husband Is Boldly Cheating On Me, Help by Richy4(m): 4:32pm On Aug 15, 2019*

Reading some of the heart breaking stories here on Nairaland sometimes makes me imagine/ wonder what the Reverend Fathers must have been hearing during confessions..

I can't just imagine how a man will look into his wife's eyes and say that he won't let got of the other woman.. That is the highest disrespect that...I'm speechless..

OP please tell me that you are not jobless.. because I can't see what will make a talented, young, beautiful 26yr old daughter of the land to remain in that house and swallow garnished Sh!t.. If he can't let go of her you should have shown some class and withdraw honourably..

Some times I blame parents for interfering and putting unnecessary pressure on their kids to get married.. it's not compulsory that every relationship must end in marriage..

Take your baby, Go to your parent's home and cool off temporarily...While you were there, Think if it was possible for you and your baby's to have a good life and future without him in the picture.. this is because He has made up his mind to have a second wife, The other woman has agreed to be in his life... So now the decision is yours to make if u want to be be the first wife or separate from that bull$h!t

If you were my sister, I would seriously advise that you don't allow your parent to reconcile this matter.. Let him finish what he has started.. because if they forced him to leave the other woman, his business might suffer..and his anger would be on u.. if you asked for an upkeep money... He will angrily tell u he doesn't have... He might be bold to tell you that the person helping him on his business is no longer there, where do u expect him to get money.. That I believe will hurt u..

If u are not working, dust your certificate and Start submitting CVs. At least within 5months u might get something... You rent a little granny flat and settle with your son.. suggesting that you go to your parents house was just for u to think.. not for u to bash him in any way... and it's not for intervention..

Modified:
I have missed those days on Nairaland around 2010, 2011.. When there were so many people here on family section giving good advice irrespective of your gender when ever a topic like this comes up. those days kids like us then don't even talk we only hits the like button..

Nowadays, I have noticed that people gives advice based on gender.. an advice they can't even give to their family members or friends in distress they just throw it out without giving any duty of care..

In this case, Assuming OP was cheating on the husband and she boldly told her husband that she can't let go of her sugar daddy she met while in Uni..That he meets all her financial requirements ... Besides that he has been helping her restaurant business grow..

and the husband comes to Nairaland and seek for advice, would you guys have given him the same advice you have given the OP?

Would you have said oh, he should not let another man take over what belong to him.. He should stay in that relationship and pray for her to change there's nothing prayers cannot do .... he should fight for the marriage he shouldn't let her go since she doesn't nag too much at home after all a lot of women cheats...

Most of you got sisters and I bet no one messes with them yet.. why the double standard while dishing out advice.. from page 1 to 6 that I managed to read is so infuriating..

159 Likes 15 Shares

Family › Re: I Lost My Dad Today. by Richy4(m): 10:40am On Aug 12, 2019

ZIMDRILL:
i might seems heartless

but it doesnt make sense to me if you lost your father today and you would have time to open a thread about it unless if you were not that close

If there a particular way to grieve? If yes who endorsed it?...Is it ok then that he has the time to drink to the extent of getting drunk? was that the better way?

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