₦airaland Forum

This isn't your story. You simply edited someone's true-life family experience she shared on a thread here a few weeks ago, parading it as a firsthand experience. You can't fool everyone.

BlackPantherxXx:
No matter your rants...it is an indisputable fact that your kinsmen cheat their brothers wives over wills. They shave their heads and make them drink corpse water.

Deep down you know this.

Yours is the typical opinion of a hypocritically bigoted, greedy, disingenuous, and wannabe sophisticated element. Only small-minded people like you and your ilks live on hearsay.

Now scram and direct your further mention to small-minded people like you.

If only the hypocritically bigoted, greedy, disingenuous, and wannabe sophisticated lots and their self-hate contentious and contemptuous fellows who are usually in the habit of peddling lies that the Igbo men and culture are the ones that do treat widows and women in general unfairly even when news and evidence every passing second like this one have continually shown the actual culprits, I would have been glad to proffer an answer.

Anyway, leniently, such is only avoidable where everyone involved wears the garb of justness. Unfortunately, there are and will always be more unscrupulous men and women than the scrupulous ones everywhere, regardless of gender, tribe, race, and social class.

I wonder where the hypocritically bigoted, greedy, disingenuous, and wannabe sophisticated lots and their self-hate contentious and contemptuous fellows are to come and continue peddling their lies that the Igbo men and culture are the ones that do treat widows and women in general unfairly even when news and evidence every passing second like this one have continually shown the actual culprits.

Toks2008:
Hey just negodu there. When i say write simple English it is nit because i can't comprehend but it just doesn't make sense writing big grammar to make simple sense. I hear English and possibly speak am pass you so don't get over your head.

Your point is my stand view so i guess we are on the same page.

No, my point can't be your stand view since you termed Eyinju112's post "This is sweet." and didn't see the hidden danger embedded in Jay-Z's submission and supporting it fully without dissection as I did. You are simply anywhere a belle face kind of person; you stand for nothing worthwhile and lack discernment.

About your false claim on English, as a magnanimous man, I will allow you to revel your delusion.

Bye-bye!

Toks2008:
Bro biko write simple English habba!

I don't have a cure for you if truly everyday words appear heavy for you and your likes. Actually, one major problem you have is that you lack discernment, citing that you termed "sweet" Eyinju112's post, which is a clear pointer that you did not see Jay-Z's submission beyond its pleasing surface.

Before I go on, I haven't seen any sane man who can't cook and do house chores in general under normal circumstances or who will idle away at home and watch his reasonable wife handling all the house chores without helping out directly or through the employment of house helps. On the other hand, I have not seen a sane woman who has the wherewithal who doesn't generously support her reasonable man financially in running their home

There is a great difference between when a man goes into an intimate union with a woman working on the reality notion that he is a man and relating with his equal of a woman in that regard compared to when he goes into the union with the unpronounced selfish notion of no gender roles. One with the former notion, for instance, will always cheerfully and intuitively get the physical heavy chores done no matter how many times it occurs and without minding whether his woman has done anything beneficial for him within the intervening time, the same way a woman with a similar notion will cheerfully and intuitively see nothing wrong in seeing cooking regularly for the household, provided that time permits her, without minding whether her man has done anything beneficial for him within the intervening time. All this doesn't mean that in the absence of the woman, that the man can't cook or won't have food to eat, same as it doesn't mean that in the absence of the man, the woman can't get heavy physical chores done directly or indirectly.

There is nothing wrong with equality, provided that its intent isn't to propagate and commit greed, contentiousness, and negation of common sense, and provided that it encourages selflessness, thoughtfulness, deference and discretion, and fairness in general

maestro299:
The guy just wrote nonsense. He use big English take cover the rubbish him write...

One can only pity the bumpkins who brought you into this world; if only they know that all their investments in you are a simple waste. Now, scram and continue living your ignorance and interacting with your fellow ignorant and small-minded types in general.

His concept of equality can never breed a mutually healthy and happy relationship in the long run because even though it's centered on mutual selfishness, animosity and contentiousness are inevitable.

The concept of equality that has always bred mutual healthiness and a happy ending is one that is mutually centered on scrupulousness and conscientiousness in general. Here is the equality that doesn't negate and abhor selflessness, thoughtfulness, deference, and discretion.

I don't hold a brief for the lady; however, you never wittingly or unwittingly loved her, at least not altruistically but self-absorbingly or opportunistically. You were instead in love with her/you fell in love with her. People fall in love unwittingly because of the pleasure and happiness they consciously gain or intend to gain from the other party materially or immaterially. This explains the reason why even while she was intentionally meting out unpalatable attitudes towards you, you still indulged her. More so, whatever assumed good thing you might have done for her was mostly done from the position of strategic kindness - expediency and servility rather than principle. Worse still is the fact that you fell in love with her because of her material (physical) possession not because of her immaterial possession (the quality of her soul), according to the connotation of your message - a man who doesn't practice genuine love and has no standard will always fall for anything and will always get used or become a beast. You don't have to agree with me, but a fact remains a fact.

When you love, instead of falling in love, she will never be a source of happiness or pleasure for you and her failings will always repulse you and be unacceptable to you, and your good deeds for her will always be from the position of principle/altruistic kindness rather than expediency and/or servility.

As a man, you are supposed to love a woman, but you are not supposed to fall in love with a woman - this is one way to rein and enjoy the glory of your authority genuinely. Falling in love is a woman's thing, and when she does so based on the quality of your soul rather than your material possession, you do everything possible to protect her heart and treat her queenly continually with everything you have, while if you observe that she's in love with your material possession rather than the quality of your soul, you give her the treatment deserving on a frenemy.

No one can afford to wreck you when you love genuinely/altruistically, provided that you are sane.

Of course, Salah. Apart from sentiment and myopia, which are understandable in a case like this, I wonder how anyone will fail to accept the reality that Salah has outachieved the legendry Drogba within and outside the Premier League in almost all important individual indices. Drogba, in his active playing days, can only be said to have been more physically imposing than Salah, that's all.

Telegram234:
In this hard season, a man goes out to hustle to find the bag, pay school fees, house rent, water and light bills, food bills and miscellaneous items, after thinking and thinking and the same wife will still bring problem, insulting him, and swearing on him naked.
The issues is that women are illogical and senseless, they go about causing troubles day and night, jealousy .
Gosh!!!!
If you go and ask a married man what he is passing through day and night, Omo u never ever think of getting married..

The scenario you painted cannot happen where a man married a scrupulous woman, who in other words is conscientious regardless of whether or not she has an altruistic interest in him, and only a servile man will condone the act in your painted scenario from a woman he's intimate with not to talk of one wearing the wife tag.

Mercychen:
What right have you to tell me what to comment and where?

So I look like those you go about trolling on here like your life depends on it?

Come on!..... buzz off my mentions and don't ever mention me again!

After deactivating that your most recent last moniker CharisEleos, after being called out because of your usual petty attitudes, and now using this one, one would have expected you to start living your age fair-mindedly. But no, you can't afford fair-mindedness because bigotry and pettiness in general are ingrained in your DNA. Lol.

Mercychen:
You too, drop that your ego and always try resolving your issues with your wife before getting to the office.

By the way, what is that thing you do to her that gets the uncle so upset to the point of threatening you?
Can you stop it? At least for peace in your home.

This might just be a way to keep you in check because I'm sure if you were working somewhere else, your marriage would have prolly packed up because you won't feel the need to apologise in time to save nine anytime there's a misunderstanding.

Ignore those saying you should look for another job. They are only encouraging you to be wicked and uncontrollable which is not healthy for your marriage.
At least, with your present experience, you'll learn self-control and how to better manage your home and handle your marriage issues amicably.

If you and your ilks cannot stop making a bigotry contribution, and exhibiting pettiness in general on this kind of matter, then do not cry bullying when sternly called out for your pettiness. There are other sections of the forum to exhibit pettiness other than this section. Be warned.

TheOldGods:
you have time to be arguing with a woman, who bends down to pee. These people are beneath us. Just read her comment, smile, because it is irrelevant, they are not the one paying the bride price or heading the family. Only reply your fellow men, the only thing they know is to insult and good in the other room.

I wonder where some of you acquire the school of thought that women are beneath men. Women are simply different from men biologically and physically to an extension; yet, they are equal to men. Every human being, regardless of gender, age, race, and status, is equal and unique. Differences in this regard don't mean unequalness.

Ours is a people that the majority do see, accept and applaud opportunism as cleverness - anyone who wittingly or unwittingly is a proponent and/or practitioner of this school of thought has no moral right to cast aspersions on both mentioned and unmentioned practitioners of the nonsense act under discussion, and the two evil cuts across both genders.

Nwachi22:
Inukwa! So you think that once a woman is a virgin, it automatically makes her fertile. Lol.

Stop trying to be too clever by half. A responsible man who got married to a true scrupulous woman, virgin or not, who turned out to be infertile won't find it difficult bearing with her, but the same can't be said of a hypocritically disingenuous unscrupulous woman who wears the garb of scrupulousness and whose infertility is as a result of her wayward lifestyle.

Nwachi22:
Well, you’re entitled to your opinion.
Ladies should beware and watch before accepting any proposal from men to avoid regret. There are a lot of irresponsible guys without conscience out there.

Irresponsible - wannabe-woke - people cut across both genders, so don't make it a male issue. In fact, don't blame men who insist on having the non-virgin women in their lives proving the potency of their fertility by getting pregnant before formalizing their relationship - however unpalatable it seems - citing the kind of life most women live.

One is in my house as a guest presently; her fiance, who happens to be the godson of one of my trusted associates, pleaded that I host her in my house and allow her to stay in my guest room because she told them that she's here on an official assignment on behalf of the Nigeria branch of her employer. Her fiance even made me understand beforehand that she's a scrupulous woman, which fortunately or unfortunately she appears to be like in her persona and demeanor, but the reality from what I have observed and seen as her character is that of a typical high-end corporate LovePeddler who is here not just only running high-end hookups, but also fighting a man she's unconsciously told me made her abort severally for him when she was younger. All this is happening without the knowledge of her fiance, who's back home believing that he has the best kind of woman as a fiancee, citing how he boasted to me about her scrupulousness.

The unpronounced reason behind this thread is simply to announce that you are single, available, and looking for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage as soon as possible because of pressure from different quarters for you to marry. There is no need to be ashamed of saying it as you want it because it isn't a crime.

Your problem is bigger than meeting a good wife, citing your submission. Self-deceit is your main problem; unfortunately, it's the biggest of all problems. The truth is that any sane woman, or man, can master the art of cooking food of any kind so good within one month - it will simply take willpower and dedication to make it possible.

More so, there is no shortage of women and men for healthy marriage; there is, however, a shortage of people who lack the discernment and grace to choose and transmute the available to desirable or change from the available to the desirable; no thanks to conceit, sanctimony, self-absorption, and greed.

He might not be a supposed "simp" as many might allege; instead, it could be that infidelity isn't a dealbreaker for him. It's one thing for one to have a weakness - everyone has one or more since no one is perfect - and it's entirely a different thing for one to delight in hir weakness or refuses to heed advice from the special one in hir life to strive to conquer self. Anyone who's a weakness; is remorseful about hir failings, and strives hard to conquer self deserves the understanding of hir spouse, and this might be the case here.

I don't hold a brief for the family involved.

Nothing else can best exemplify hypocritical disingenuousness than the act of anyone giving out vibe of being a proponent and practitioner of unconditional love - or selflessness or altruism - but believes and practices classism or hypergamy; that thread where the SSCE holder guy said that a family prevented him from marrying its graduate daughter because he doesn't have a degree certificate is still there for one to see the position of most different individuals in this thread and their classism positions.

No proponent of classism or hypergamy has love - only self-absorption glossed as love/fake love - to give their spouses, neighbors, etc., since altruism is the soul of love, and using altruism in the same sentence with classism or hypergamy is not only considered an oxymoron but also an abomination.

Don't allow all these wannabe-just people to mislead you and sow a seed of discord in your marriage. They're always quick to see injustice or oppression where there is none but are usually quick to turn daft where there is one. More so, they do the worst covertly and overtly. I wager your husband's mindset right from when he bought the land has always been to make it a residential house for the immediate family and still holds on to that mindset now that the nuclear family has come and is part and parcel of the immediate family.

Provided that he has told you that the land/house is his, which by extension is yours and the kids, don't bother yourself. You can, however, go further to ask him to show you a copy of the C.O. if he hasn't done that and if truly he has always given you justifiable reasons to doubt his good intentions towards you and the union in general.

The fact that he allegedly didn't tell you engagingly and have your consent before allowing his brother to move into the other flat isn't enough reason for you or anyone to automatically conclude that the house belongs to his mother or that he doesn't acknowledge your contributions and consider you part owner of the house or has bad intentions toward you. It could instead have been as a result of him not knowing that you don't have full confidence in him or are contentious - once more, this is assuming that he has.always had a good intention towards you and the union in general.

Given that he isn't coming from an affluent background - the fact that his mother and sibling have a need to move into the house is evident to this - and has now managed to build a residential house while still living abroad with the nuclear family who probably visits twice a year on vacations and has no plan of relocating back permanently anytime soon, I don't see the reason why the flat shouldn't be giving out to the sibling to occupy like he did, at best he can just permanently lock one or two rooms, depending on the number of rooms in the flat, for you and the kids for now.

There is always nothing beneficial in leaving a house/apartment unoccupied on an instance like this; in fact, it's usually energy draining. Meanwhile, if you fancy an exclusive nuclear family residential house, you and your husband can now start making a plan for one.

The lady is even a member of this forum.

You've never loved that girl, and she's always known it - you've simply been a slave to lust. Assuming that you love her, you wouldn't have been pandering to her whims and caprices, and your givings to her at any given would always have been in principle rather than on servility and expediency, which are the norms so far. Whether or not she loves you is inconsequential at this juncture.

Strive to conquer yourself, hate nonsense with all your might, and start loving genuinely.

No, at least for sane people. Any given time the union loses justness as the bond that holds it, there will be no need of remaining, maintaining, and sustaining it because of the kids or anything else in this world. Justness will always be a standard.

The highest and most fulfilling point of living is reaching the height of not minding losing anyone/anything in principle - thereby staying conscientious.

She did not go anywhere, she is using one of her alternative monikers, Octopu...., in a bid to appear scarce, Lol. I pray that follow-follow will not wound her.

ethicallyright:
Any "Nigerian" who has been a fourth republic Governor in Nigeria, even for a month, can buy a Private jet.

Look at Fayose's phone which is captured in his picture on the bike.

A vip direct helicopter shuttle in Nigeria costs not more than NGN 250,000. His phone can pay twice for that if he didn't just want to use the Bike.


Remember the old man in Squid Game? 001? Remember how he craved his youth when he could play with his friends? He had everything but wanted to experience the days of his early beginning.

The fat boy's perception of life is limited, like that of most Nigerians. Those who should build beautiful mansions close to green vegetations as their homes would rather a tiny concrete ugly rat hole in Lekki which has been devastated by lack of good drainage systems, as well as noise and air pollution from its ghetto surroundings just to feel among.

If you don't understand the point in my preceding paragraph, I am trying to state that the Nigerian problem is that Fat Cubana genuinely believes that an ex-governor should not use the road an average Nigerian uses and anything other than that means that the ex-governor is broke.

That is a very wrong mentality from someone who wishes that Nigeria should be restructured to be like the developed society (where a parliamentarian walks with his legs house to house soliciting for votes).

It's obvious that you and those who have liked your post lack comprehension. A true discerning person can easily see from the connotation of his submission that he was talking about the leaders in power leading with conscience so that when they leave office and lose the top security immunity, they can feel relatively at ease to take public transport like an Okada in an eventuality, like in the case of Fayose under discussion, without fear of being attacked/gunned down.

Balderdash! It seems humbleness now has a new meaning. I wonder how her act makes a useful meaning to her and anyone supporting her.

@OP

Don't mind that family and all its fellow bumpkins and low self-esteem here and elsewhere supporting it and talking about class erroneously, provided that you are certain that you are occupationally engaged, ambitious, and do not have poor demeanor and disposition, thus the reason for its objection.

It is always appalling seeing people who are merely existing, not living, talking about class - the only class that is worth consideration in a genuine interpersonal relationship is the ethical class. All of them making noise about the social class here have no single doctoral certificate and/or just USD100,000 worth of assets anywhere in the world; yet, you will see them talking about social class. If a class in an interpersonal relationship is truly twerked towards such a myopic direction and definition, it means that a select privileged few of us will not be sharing a platform like this with you bumpkins and low self-esteem people not to talk about exchanging words with you all.

Only bumpkins and low self-esteem can assert that a sound, skilled, and gumptious non-formal-certificate holder is an illiterate, worse still someone with a post-primary formal education. The absence of formal education doesn't automatically make anyone illiterate and unrefined.

These same bumpkins and low self-esteem people will not think twice before agreeing to marry, or give out all the females in their families, people like Abdulrazaq Abdulrahman (present Kwara State governor), Jacob Zuma (former South African president), C. Ronaldo, Messi, Ifeanyi Ubah, Ahmed Musa, etc., let me just mention these ones whom you lots can identify with as popular figures. Hypocritical and dumb lots. You have until the day you die to obtain a degree or any other form of formal certificate if you need one, so do not allow anyone to guilt trip you into going for one if you are certain that you do not have a need for it now. Most of the shrewdest and sagacious experts I have known in most spheres of life do not wittingly or unwittingly have post-secondary certificates or do not depend on their formal certificates to make things happen.

Education is good; it is power, but no one should ignorantly and automatically mistake the education here only for formal education. In fact, anyone that does not have at least two doctoral degrees from the Ivy league schools and assets that are worth at least USD100M ought not to be caught discriminating against people based on material possessions in the name of class. Truly, you underprivileged lots are your own worst enemies.

LordVoldermort:
Yorubas remain the most logical and reasonable tribe in Africa, funny enough Yorubas don't claim to be Jews

You unscrupulous citizens from all the different tribes of the country have always been the reason why the country is a mess - and it is even more appalling that you underprivileged ones in this unscrupulous act are the arrowhead in this absurdity.

No, there is nothing logical and reasonable about anyone - it does not matter whether one is Yoruba, Igbo, Hausa, or Fulani or whether it is about a national relationship or personal relationship - who lives in peace maintained with servility, that is unhealthy peace. An unhealthy peace is not better than no peace. The absence of war does not always automatically equate to peace.

It is about time for most of you to stop mistaking disingenuousness and feeble-mindedness for diplomacy/maturity/wisdom. And of course, neither contemptuousness nor opportunism equates to bravery and cleverness respectively. The country has a fundamental problem and everyone has a stake to make it better. Enough is enough of all this bigotry, opportunism, self-absorption, and hypocrisy from almost everyone from different parts of the country.