₦airaland Forum

Sorry for him, if he isn't bearing the consequences of opportunism and treachery from a woman who was altruistic and conscientious in general towards him, and to hell with the woman. If it is otherwise, however, good riddance to bad rubbish to him, and sorry for the innocent victims.

A typical case of one who was late to realize that he has mistaken a woman (or a man) with special needs for a special woman, which by extension, reveals his lack of discernment - discernment is one quality even the best quality of formal education cannot confer on anyone. Unfortunately, the majority of people lack it. Wannabe libertarian/ignorant man.

Women with special needs need to be loved, yes, because everyone deserves love. However, it is always suicidal getting intimately involved with one committedly if, in addition to her not having an altruistic interest in you, you don't have an affinity for people with special needs and possess the grit that is usually required to continually help jolt them to reality, stability, and appreciative level of decency.

Apart from hard drugs, nothing else can be more destructive to a man's life than being intimately committed to a woman that has a personality disorder, especially when you lack discernment, do not have an affinity for people with special needs, and do not possess the grit required in handling them effectively.

Although I am against Putin's invasion of Ukraine, his justifiable reasons for doing so notwithstanding, someone like Leonid Nevzlin, however, ought not to be taken seriously by any sane and informed person. Only those who are either outright foolish or ignorant of his person, clique, and company (Yukos oil) and their activities even before Putin's first presidency will side with him.

Yokos oil and its American associate in crime then (Enron Corporation) ruined many individuals and companies globally with their nefarious activities.

Myopia and self-deceit at their peak. You are just looking for a woman you can subjugate, not the one who can walk and work with you on your lead fairly. Unfortunately for you, you are so self-deceitful that you have validated your myopia. An unemancipated woman is a like time bomb waiting for an explosion.

There is nothing wrong with a man that chooses a village woman to marry, just as there is nothing wrong in picking one from the city. There is, however, everything wrong in telling yourself that a woman that does not own social media presence/has not emancipated is automatically more scrupulous than the one that has social media presence/emancipated - of course, being a virgin is an added advantage.

Also, not seeing that a supposed virgin woman whom you are not married to yet that engages in amorous kissing with you is not ethically different from an unmarried woman who is sexually active is another pointer that you wittingly or unwittingly live on self-deceit.

Nothing beats an emancipated woman, who is from strong ethical leanings, whether she is a village or city dweller is irrelevant; a woman who neither condones nonsense nor has delight in nonsense.

You're paying the ultimate price of equating a woman with special needs for a special woman and marrying her when you know that you don't possess the grit to jolt her to a harmless and refined woman. Your obvious condoning of abuses shows that you are a typical wannabe libertarian. You are the type that has always cheered up women who exhibit and mete out contentiousness and contemptuousness, validating their crass and opportunistic acts as signs of them being strong and independent women.

It can be possible to have her start working and walking with you on your lead fairly and harmoniously; unfortunately, from the indices available, you don't possess the grit that is required to bring such to fruition.

Servility is as bad as cruelty; none of them should be any sane person's standard. The latter, however, should be inevitable when trampled on.

Foremost, literally, ghosting can only be said to happen where one of two people who are, or seem to be, an item - mutually/officially or one-sided/unofficially - becomes incommunicado where the bonding/interaction moment before that was so refreshing and while he/she is still visibly around and healthy in the cause of being incommunicado often going into a long time and after being reaching out to at least more than twice by the other party.

That said, not everyone can feel hurtful when being ghosted, just as one can ghost another just for the benefits of the person being ghosted, thus:

- You can never feel hurt if you have a mentality that is strongly rooted in standard rather than expectation and/or entitlement. It takes one whose mentality is strongly rooted in libertarian and altruism to make this possible.

- Also, one whose mentality is strongly rooted in libertarian and altruism can ghost someone whom he/she holds dear when he observes that she has fallen in love with him and wants something serious and long-lasting even when there's nothing defining between them, while he is not ready for such. So, in this instance, it isn't a case of him taking delight in evil; instead, it's a case of him not wanting to be a stumbling block to her.

@OP

Don't allow any of these wannabe-self-sufficient and hypocritical elements to shame and guilt-trip you, provided that your expectation from her and your rage on her failure of living up to it comes from the fact that you're a student or a teenager and can't earn money for justifiable reasons and isn't coming from the place of greed. More so, provided that you are certain that your late brother's business/assets under her control can cater for both her immediate and the extended family to a reasonable length, assuming that a just person is in her position.

Supposing that your same late brother didn't leave a business/assets behind and without her earning money on her own, these same sanctimonious and hypocritically disingenuous elements would've expected you and other of the family members, especially the assumed well-to-do ones among you, to start catering for her and the children welfare, which is the right thing to do under normal circumstances anyway.

Whenever you see them striving to form woke and more Western than the Westerners here, always remember that none of them in this category has either crossed any of the country's shores or is a stakeholder in their country of refuge.

crismark:
I simply won't marry from my tribe(igbo) because of the high cost of bride price and the wedding ceremonies (white and traditional). They want the man to foot all the bills starting from introduction.

I don't see myself spending over 1m simply because i want to put a woman in my house.
Never!

I see my yoruba guys getting married even tho am way richer than them. Yoruba culture has made things easy for the men while my stupid igbo culture keeps making life difficult for we young folks.

I will never please others and displease my pocket. The very moment i see a yoruba girl that ticks 80% of the boxes, am getting married.

Most of you in your desperate bids to appear woke, if Igbo by tribe, or maintain ethnocentrism and revel in bigotry, if not Igbo by tribe, have always proved that commonsense is not common. Given that there are a lot of men who are menial job holders and who might have not had up to 50,000 naira savings at any point in their lives but are legally married from the same Igboland, that should tell any sane person, but definitely not a mentally parochial element like you and your ilks, that Igbo culture does not mandate that any man marrying from Igboland must spend money in millions.

A typical greedy person. If the success of other people has always caused you depression, or unsettles you, you're inherently greedy, but if it's always motivated you rightly, then you're gritty. There's nothing wrong with being gritty, but there's everything wrong with being greedy.

In the context you described overeducated women, no, the ones from strong ethical leanings among them do not make bad wives - women from strong ethical leanings that have advanced degrees even up to PhD level have always been blessings to their chosen professions, families, and the society in general.

In the real context and meaning of overeducated women, or overeducated men, however, they have always been known to be more like cancer to their chosen professions, families, and society in general. An overeducated person notionally and theoretically knows everything, but realistically, completely understands nothing in any meaningful area of life - think of a typical conceited person then multiply his/her flaws by two, you will understand the ignorance and toxic level of an overeducated person.

The act of equating vices like callousness and perfidiousness, from the majority from both genders, as cleverness/wokeness is the cause. I, however, don't see a man from strong ethical leanings subjecting a conscientious woman, who has an altruistic interest in him to the debasing act, but he will definitely not hesitate to subject one from weak ethical leanings to such if she happens to be the only available option and provided that he is established.

GT84:
Always self centred, always what he or she can gain from you and not the other way round...over money conscious...they are never selfless...smh

Sanctimonious, hypocritical, disingenuous, and ethnocentric elements like you never cease to amuse me. The Igbos are always self-centered, you said, yet you and your types are nowhere more altruistically philanthropic and supportive to individual and communal causes than them locally and internationally; they are over money conscious, you said, yet they are not the ones that have been known for killing human beings for money ritual every second and are not the ones that are internationally known for both small and large scale frauds in both formal and informal settings; they are never selfless, you said, yet they are not the ones that want power all to themselves in Nigeria and are not the ones that have looted and almost ruined the country at the center.

Are the Igbos perfect; no, and no one is perfect. Scram and face your fellow small-minded elements. Bumpkin.

Not entirely true. It's just that those who do not love, who, of course, are also in the habit of abusing every confidence placed on them, are in the majority. That said, building your hope around your career and aspirations and staying focused is a necessity.

A good wife surely deserves the best of everything from her husband. Congratulations to them.

A man without a sound philosophy which he walks and works on personally and with everyone that comes close to him can never reign supreme in his glory and have inner peace, even if he makes the latter possible for others. Enact a philosophy today and let it be a standard in your world - and say no to expectation because it always leads to depressing disappointment.

The absence of war does not automatically mean peace, and peace obtained and maintained with servility is slavery - unfortunately, only cowards find fulfillment in slavery and revel in it. One of the highest and most fulfilling points of living is reaching the height of not minding losing anyone/anything in principle - stay conscientious.

An undeniable fact, however, is that you gave her an impression from the inception that she could always do anything that pleases her and get away with it scot-free. Servility is as bad as cruelty; say no to both of them.

Ishilove:
This guy can't you just write in a less convoluted manner?? Ahn ahn what is all these na

You are not afraid to address an elder statesman as this "guy;" I wonder what gave you the morale.

You like hearing what will make you appear unblemished, and of course, they will always tell you what you want to hear here on a matter like this. Unfortunately, that will not make you a better person going forward, offline, and in sharing closeness with anyone that means well for you but values their peace of mind. The fact remains that someone like you is among the most difficult kind of people to share closeness with. This does not make you an evil person, though, no. It has to do with your disposition and anima.

Sharing closeness with you entails one putting up their sixth sense and being readily alert with their defense mechanism all the time for the neutralization of the psychological stress - which in many cases lead to abuse - you do wittingly and unwittingly cause them. It is better imagined than to witness how draining she would have always been, unless she has always known her way around putting you in your place, which I believe her said action here is one of the ways she has devised, however unpalatable it seems - she can do better for the sake of the existing and everlasting bond. Your type of person is always best enjoyed in a scenario where you are doing quite well for yourself in all the areas of life that matter the most to you and the person(s) sharing closeness with you is someone you wittingly or unwittingly consider a part of yourself and is a humbly disciplined person, better if they are still trying to find their way around life.

The fact that you later agreed to pay for her transportation fare and other good things you asserted in this particular story that made you appear like the understanding one between the two of you do not change my posits above.

A wife material isn't an atom that can neither be created nor destroyed. So, as a man, you can always create wife material from almost all kinds of women. Just be truthful to yourself and focus on either one or two attributes that always tickle your fancy on the opposite sex and magnify them on a woman you see that possesses them and who's in sync with you - this requires a good level of discernment to perfect - and boom understanding will automatically be created. Of course, understanding breeds love, where sane people are involved.

One can always avoid being in your kind of situation, so do not allow anyone to deceive you into thinking that the unfortunate place you have found yourself is a standard - it can only be for small-minded people. To avoid experiencing it from another woman, master the act of connecting in bond with a woman of interest mentally rather than emotionally. One can only find himself in your kind of unfortunate situation when he/she falls in love, not when he loves. Those who love (selflessly or because of the quality of the soul of the person they are involved with) do not fall in love and those who fall in love do not love selflessly or because of the quality of the soul of the person they are involved with but because of what they gain or envisage gaining physically/materially.

When you love someone selflessly or because of the quality of their soul, your connection with them will automatically be mentally and only their death can break you not their treachery or other petty attitudes which will always rather cause you to gradually lose every form of neural connection you might have formed with them before the permanent separation.

Altruism neutralizes the negative effects of expectations, and conscientiousness makes disappointment/setback ineffective.

Congrats to her. Culture has never been about the way how the dead people did their things but about the way the living people choose to do their things. To antagonists of culture on social media, brace yourselves up and meet with the custodians of the culture where you belong and suggest any aspect of it you think should be scrapped or amended instead of crassly being antagonists on social media.

Submission without love is slavery, and vice versa. So, while you expect her to submit herself/money to you, you've to be loving her - to love her is to be altruistic towards her and conscientious in general - because love is a greater sacrifice of the two.

This is one of the indirect ways she has used to announce that she is available and ready to mingle - a typical marketing strategy of reaching out to a wider audience.

There are two ways to take charge of your home as a man:

- Genuine love. Being a sucker for goodness and an irredeemable hater of nonsense. This will entail striving to conquer yourself in all fronts to the best of your ability and magnifying one attribute she possesses that is core to your life philosophy and disenabling her shortcomings with all your might, thereby building your mental connection with her on something intangible but formed. Nothing else can be more effective and pleasing in having a woman walk and work with you on your lead other than genuine action love, unless the woman is either totally insane or never had any atom of genuine interest in you from the inception.

- Subjugation. In the absence of respect, it's better to be feared than to be admired. In the event that you observe that the above could not bring her to your lead on her own accord, then make her your slave through psychological and emotional abuse, with or without physical abuse. You can always work out a quick and simple blueprint to bring this to fruition, provided that you hate nonsense/delight in oppression.

However, being contentious, contemptuous, and opportunistic don't make a woman an alpha female, if there is an alpha female at all, just as they don't make a man an alpha male. Forget about whatever nonsense you've been reading on that, especially on the romance section of Nairaland.

It's wrong in all shades to take for granted a woman, or anyone, that genuinely and wittingly places her confidence on you. Quickly reimburse her money and also win her back with a resolution not to unjustly take her for granted again.

Polyamory is as old as the marriage institution itself, and 99.9 percent of ladies of all strata will give you their consent if you tell them upfront genuinely or otherwise, provided that you are a man of means/have glaring potential. After all, someone like Melinda Gates didn't waste time before she gave her consent to Bill Gates.

Mercychen:
You and your entire village people are the ones who need a low thinker like her to improve yourselves, not me.

Someone who could not address a simple issue and give unbiased advice but took the whole thing personal with resentful sentimental judgements, throwing shade at me is whom you're saying I need?

I used to think you're smart but now I know better. If this her kinda approach to issues is what gives you orgasm, then I fear for your IQ and what it will further degenerate to for setting her as a standard for you and your likes.


Uchu!

Work on your narcissistic attitude and pettiness in general; that's my point. There's nothing wrong if you wish to have one child, or anyone not wishing to have a child, provided that the reason for anyone who falls in the latter category is pure and not because she has damaged her womb like that little brat that personifies pettiness and anti-procreation in this family section, she is even on this thread already, who has always tried hard to gloss the main reason why she does not want to have a child. Only people that do not know her dirty past and story before she deactivated her old moniker some years ago will fall for her lies and posturing.

@OP

Michelle.55's posts here might not be palatable to you and your ilks hearings, but you need them for your advancement and betterment. The worst enemy people like you have always had with or without knowing is the disingenuous and/or bigoted lots that abound here, of course, you are part of them; those who are always eager to either feign carefree and allow you lots to continually destroy yourselves or tell you lots what you want to hear and lend support in your failings in the name of needless gender solidarity, wannabe gentlemanliness and other nonsenses under different guises. Her kind of person who will not mind losing being in your good book if she calls you out, as she has done here, is the kind of lady you need around closely if you mean well for yourself. Of course, it is also her kind who will stand solidly behind you when the chips are down.

Not in support of unjust cruelty, nonetheless.

Taking pleasure in losing in principle when necessary is both strength and wisdom, while always wishing to win all the time and at all cost is both weakness and foolishness.

Her kind of person never loves, at least not altruistically, but does fall in love helplessly, which is the reason why she is always easily wrecked directly or indirectly. She does not possess the anima and disposition to love a man, at least one not biologically related to her.

The mother has the right to treat you the way she has done or might wish to under the circumstances. The onus is on you to do everything possible to secure her understanding, especially if you have good intentions for her daughter and granddaughter. You can secure her understanding and have her and the daughter walking with you on your lead diplomatically/fairly and without being servile or cruel to her.

This is not the kind of situation to exhibit too clever by half attitude unless you delight in others' pains.

They don't run where the man is a man of means unless he rejected them; forget about any false claim any one of them might put up here to feel good.