₦airaland Forum

tonyson010:
well said lack of preparation, but I don't think marriages are crashing that much, as suggested by the OP.

Go to any Federal marriage registry close to you and see.

Dshocker:
In the olden days, there was nothing counseling, seminars or reading any blue print for marriage.

Truth is that you married your husband.

Is it not from the experiences of the people from the olden days that these books and counsel are given?

Even thee bible that we read is from a people of a certain olden days.

edoairways:
Why are most marriage seminar centred more on women than men

They are not centred around women, women just show more interest.

hustla:
Some other people did this too and still chop breakfast

There is no formula to life

No one said there's a formula to life or marriage but it's best to put in some effort and let God handles the rest.

BigBashiru:
Finances is simple...let everyone make their own money and use it to take care of themselves.... females shouldn't stress their hisbands financially....as in a woman should be able to make the money she will use to be caring for her self....tho I will feed her (basic food only).

Everyone can make their money and economic changes can hit where one or both lose their source of income?

Is this a reason for a marriage to pack up?

No.

BigBashiru:
What are the harsh realities of marriage?

Finance

Individual differences (background/ upbringing, social status, personal preferences and ways of doing things)

Compromise

thoth:
Total Nonsense...

You're entitled to your opinion as I am entitled to mine.

Jovialjune1:
Your first paragraph is what a sound Christian should know without counseling and listening to tapes, but I get your point

Your second paragraph is exactly what I mean.

You'd think a "sound Christian" should know these things but most of these divorce cases are from "sound Christians". Many with fornication as a foundation of their marriage.

Like I said, counselling taught me what is on my second paragraph including learning to know how God speaks to me so I won't fall into the hands of "prophets".

UyaiIncomparabl:
All these doesn't guarantee a good marriage.

All these prepares you for what marriage is about.

How to date for marriage, harsh realities of marriage and how to safeguard your marriage through prayers and putting God first.

Jovialjune1:
Reading books and counselling doesn't prepare anyone for anything, that's my point, even pastors divorce, cheat etc, didn't they go also through all that process? No amount of books will prepare you for challenges or when , the devil decide to spoil your union, it is only the determination plus wisdom and prayer of both husband and wife that can make the marriage work.

The determination, wisdom and prayers from both husband and wife part, I learned from counselling and listening to tapes.

I already knew this before getting married that it takes three to make a marriage work. God, being the centre of your marriage, then the husband and wife.

AbleBouncer:
If you like read encyclopedia or church hymnal back to back, if you don't invite God who is the originator of marriage into your home, just wait for it. It will crash

I learned this from counselling and listening to tapes from the late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya.

Yusufisraelj:
True, however the foundation of any marriage is the vision that births it. Why are the two people coming together and what do they want to fulfill?

These are things people come to realize from counselling and premarital counseling.

Womanizer:
You mean you're married?!

Your name is on my radar o

Eya.

Jovialjune1:
No amount of counselling, seminar, in fact nothing can prepare one for what lies ahead in marriage, I and hubby didn't do anything like that because we felt it is a waste of time yet we are 5 years strong, so it is not about counselling cos when challenges come it will still be like shock to you, we just have to pray for the patience and ability to absorb and overcome the shock and challenges when it shows its ugly head, that all.

I am not saying all the things I listed makes a happy home but I'm saying it prepares you for some harsh realities you'd meet in marriage. Even the praying for patience and ability to over come challenges, you'd learn from what I listed up there.

Some marriage have packed up over the slightest issues and you'd just ask yourself "did they think marriage is sugar, spice and everything nice"?

It's best to do all these things I mentioned and not need it than to get into marriage and let the devil spoil your union over a challenge that could have been surmounted.

ugodson:

Your face isnt showing am guessing you look very pretty. Ur kind of woman is very few. From what you said before how many ladies will read books on marriages or listen to marriage couches?

Book reading and listening to counselling coaches isn't only for the women but for everyone.

It help you know the kind of people to not marry, what to expect in marriage(harsh realities of marriage).

MNDY:
Nice one
On this quarrel, you and I know your gender to be the one to love drama/trouble more than the other gender.
A lot can be settled amicably if your gender chooses the peaceful approach to settle matters.

You'd think my gender are more troublesome bit I've seen the reverse o. And it's not pretty at all.

They are disgraceful children with no regard for their parents.

This shouldn't have been posted on social media.

ugodson:

I totally agree with all you have said. But dont be offended with this question am about to ask,if you are married, from your pic,you have no RING on

Lol. I was pregnant then and my ring didn't fit anymore so I had to take it off.

DreamersVille24:
Yes one needs to be prepared however that preparation doesn't necessarily have to come from marriage seminars or reading books on marriage - that's his point.

I'll add that it takes maturity and wisdom from a man to make a successful marriage (minus the case of adultery or abuse by the woman) cos you women will always be women.

You think it doesn't take maturity and wisdom from a woman to make her marriage work?

Read Proverbs 14:1 first.

DaFuhrer:
Even all these doesn't guarantee good marriage. Just marry someone that have the same goals and ambition as you or someone willing to fuel your ambition.

The best marriage counseling I received was from my grandpa. The man told me "marry your friend".

Now I'm married to my best friend and I thank God everyday for the advice my grandpa gave me. I and my wife see ourselves more as friends rather than husband and wife.

Shebi you got counselling?

Some people don't. Some who get counselling just go there to fulfill all righteousness cause the church demanded it.

All what I mentioned there doesn't guarantee good marriage but they prepare you for possible things you'd experience.

It's best to go with some knowledge than to go in blind.

Most of what I use to make my marriage work is from the preparation I had before marriage.

It also helped me pick a suitable partner. Men plenty for town but not all can lead a woman sensibly and with kindness.

zed7:
I didn't go for counselling, didn't read any books and didn't even wed in a church. Been married 10 years now and I can't remember having issues with my wife. Never reported each other to anybody. We don't even raise our voices on each other. My sister went for marriage counselling, church programmes, wed in the church and yet, I keep settling issues.

I guess I'm lucky or maybe not. What I did was to carefully screen my partner and go for personality instead of just appearance alone. Yes, my wife is good looking but good looking isn't enough.

Anyway, my submission is that a successful marriage is between two people who click. All the counselling and prayers wouldn't do much if both parties don't know what they want and don't click.

People click and still divorce.

The reason many marriages fail is because people go into it without any preparation. They go in blind not knowing left from right.

One thing I learned in the course of preparing for marriage is to "pick my battles wisely". This way, you'll understand it's not everything that should lead to fight or quarrel.

Now I understand the need for it.

The 2002 and 2007 notes are from politicians that were in position from 1999 to 2007.

The NIN or BVN then, the banking system no too dey sophisticated like today so they withdrew huge sums and stored at home.

A lot of people don't know what marriage is about.

Societal pressure force people who know next to nothing about marriage to marry.

Some men think it's only to provide, have sex and have a woman to birth and raise kids that marriage is all about.

Many women get married just to be Mrs. No preparation for the journey ahead.

I remember before I got married, I attended marriage seminar, read books, listened to messages from seasoned counsellors like Bimbo Odukoya, marriage counsellors from my church and pastors whose marriages I admire.

These days, how many young people will even read books about marriage and it's preparation or listen to messages or go to seminars for intending couples?

Make the person wey post this thing carry her pant after she done chase clout finish.

May God not allow us enter the kind of trouble.

The nanny probably didn't look out for the boy cause she was counting on the many people in the house.

The many people in the house probably didn't pay attention to the boy cause they assumed he's with the nanny.

Goalnaldo:
Romanoff why you dey cover your face na?

Wetin u wan see na?

With an imagination like OP's, he should just call Kanayo O Kanayo to shoot a movie.

EmeraldJD:
. Aunty, she didn't go to shop or office, she traveled with her man o leaving a toddler with caregivers. There's a difference between people looking after your kid when they know you'd be back in few hours and when they know you won't be back for some days. Stop defending wrong decisions because you like the person.

Even if she traveled and left the toddler behind with care givers, there's nothing wrong with it.

No parent can be glued to their child 24/7.

If e possible, try am with you own make we see.

Cypress042:
Even with those net around the pools a child that want to drown will still drown

Just pray that stuffs like this don't remember you.

I'm telling you.

SmartPolician:
I totally get your point, but I don't totally agree.
If that's how things truly work, then we will all be averting death. The Bible says that God will have mercy on whom He will have mercy on (Romans 9:16).

Although prayers and fasting may help, God's mercy doesn't totally depend on those. We cannot totally understand Him - that's what makes Him who He is - God.

God showed mercy to Hezekiah, true.

But God's plan for us doesn't include sorrow. This I know.

SmartPolician:
There are prayers that God will never answer for reasons best known to Him. He's an all-knowing God and Creator of man.

In the other news, those who say they are atheists still fool around because they have never encountered a life-threatening challenge.

Hezekiah averted his own early death by crying to God.

A prophesy is sometimes a warning. If it's bad, it can be prayed against. If it's good, you pray for it's manifestation.

BRATISLAVA:
A lot of people are alive, and they were swimming from infancy.

The only thing to do is watch and instruct your children about swimming. There are infant/children pools. Can't be celebrity show offs and not know that.

Toddlers can stray to where they are not spos to. With older children, they understand consequences but toddlers do not. One minute you know where they are, the next they are off being mischievous.