an 'unknown land"

Oh!!!! here we go!!

jennykadry: Your mother get mind. After all these years?

My thoughts too. hmmm!!!!

Sisi_Kill:
Lmao! I think we can safely say men don't know exactly what they want.

You ask them what qualities they want in a wife and before you can say think carefully. . .they start listing
She must know how to cook,
She must know how to clean,
she must know how to bathe me,
she must know how to kick in the air ten times before landing while dusting under the couch.

Is it any wonder they leave a trail of broken relationships in their wake?

My dear i tire, the funny thing is they actually get all they want and are still not satisfied. "oliver twist",
- A faithful wife, one who knows how to take care of the home, good in bed, beautiful, nice dresser, good cook and would comeout here to say " i don't know why i don't love my wife?" we've been married for 10years...bla.bla.bla!!!!

Diligence: I will encourage the guy to do it in an 'organised manner and professionally, too' - outside of working hours (before and after close of business and during lunchtime). He can also hire some guys to help out, since the biz is growing and will keep growing.

This is reasonable. very reasonable.

Abali1:

I wouldn't want to marry a "FAITHFUL VIRGIN MARY" whom I may have to send back to her mother to go and learn how to run a home. I need a well rounded African woman who I can live with her faults. I am not looking for a perfect woman, cos am not Perfect, but one I can ACCEPT HER FAULTS.

you want an 'all round African woman" and yet do not want a perfect woman. hmmmm!!! i am confused. If you have it all is that not equal to perfection?

Abali1:

@Ronke, & Sisi_kill
She was dating another guy on the side. Cheating is one thing I don't condone. And yes, I know that am not perfect.

Woh!!! the lady with a 'wife material" quality is not perfect after all, despite all her sweeping and cooking, she still had to cheat on you? hmmm!!! that is something else.

breezy047:

If you can't cook and you eat 80% of the meal in eateries that's definitely not wifey material. . .

it depends on where you pick the babes from, there is nothing wrong in paying her a visit once or twice and see if she will make you a nice meal.

breezy047:
If you are dirty, disorganized, don't bathe atleast twice a day and you wear an underwear for more than a day glued to your 'power house' that's definitely not wifey material. . .

So a dirty man with dirty boxers is a husband material?, that is the bone of contention here, the dude in question is a dirty lazy arse, they are the ones that will poke their nostrils and rub it on their bedsheets or chair, we also have men that wear one boxer for upto 7 days.

breezy047:
If you are too rude, dont take corrections and everyone looks stupid in your eyes thats definitely not wifey material. . .

and what will you say of an agressive man, who is pompous and lazy? the chauvinistic kind of men?

breezy047:
If you dress exposing 90% of your b.oo.bs and your mini skirt is always extraordinarily high thats definitely 'ashi' material. . .

again, show me your friend and i will tell you 'who you are" or "birds of a feather flock together", if you are going and patronising "all dem joints", you will end up with one. Or if it is the skimpy dressers that appeal to you first, then what is stopping you from keeping one of them too at home?.

breezy047:
If you feel your 'independent' and dont need no man and you've become an expert in giving orders to MEN! thats definitely not a NIGERIAN wifey material. . .

Now, you want a woman that would fold her hands and say "yes" to every order you give, then i wish that man luck.

Sisi_Kill:

Don't get it. . .why aren't married to her if she had the qualities of a GOOD WIFE?

Nice question!!!!!!

tpia@:


i think a bit of selling is allowed during lunch hours- it depends on company policy and the product must not be a competitive one.

In addition, small stuff wouldnt be sweated unless the manager is somewhat a.nal.

I've bought small items at work before, years ago.

but in nigeria where everyone is trying to hustle, i dont think it should be a big deal inasmuch as the guy isnt in a top managerial postition.

Even if he is sef. Assuming he's selling cars, would it be an issue.

Will he bring the car to the office and be dishing it out as chin-chin.? we need to develop work ethics.

braveheart2012: I am a bit surprised at the responses on this thread. It's obvious that most of the replies are coming from people with limited corporate experience. The man's action is unprofessional and this type of activity is expressly forbidden in most mid-size to large corporations in the West. In fact, the only other type of "employment" or "business" most employers will tolerate is non-profit work or volunteer work. Selling merchandise in the office is grounds for immediate dismissal. He is technically representing another business interest (his sole focus during working hours should be on the business he is getting paid full-time wages for.) In addition, he is using corporate property (i.e. the office premises) for unapproved personal gain.

Besides, it's just reflects poor judgement. It's a different thing if his wife came in to the office everyday to sell her chin-chin. But the man is selling it himself? Is this the same man I am supposed to promote to a leadership position and trust to safeguard my company's resources? What will he do when he becomes office manager? Convert the office into a supermarket? How are his subordinates supposed to look-up to a man that will jeopardize his career for less than 20k naira in profits per month? This is the type of man that will sell/rent-out office property and collect bribes to make extra-money on the side. If I were his boss, I would fire him immediately.

PS - My viewpoint is very westernized (although I was born and raised in Nigeria, I have no work experience in Nigeria). Given how upside-down and backwards most of Nigeria is, it wouldn't surprise me if this type of behavior is endemic at Nigerian corporations.

I am actually with Braveheart on this, i love the fact that the man is helping his wife to sell chin-chin...but sorry not in my organization, if i am paying you to do a job, you had better be doing that job or else you will find yourself outside, what if his boss caught him selling chin-chin to his colleagues?...and i am sure since people are beginning to raise their brows, he should be weary of amebos'.

Debrief....Congratulations dear...i am so happy for you. And i am glad you ex, is doing better, he actually came on NL to pour out his mind, i really felt pity for him....but what has happened has happened, and i am glad he got an opportunity to repent and acknowledge the real-woman you are. God will bless you and your husband and the two lovley Princes.

The children, all things being equal.

Neeky1: Thanks guys,well i'm married (just celebrated 1 yr)so don't need a bf lols,so why can't I talk to hubby,cos I don't want him getting hung up bout this issue too cos it
Kinda affects us both,I just wish there was a magic solution. can't talk bout it here cos its embarrassing, and no hobby can help me get over this,it just gnaws constantly in my mind. Yeah and friends can't be trusted actually don't even have a lot of em to begin with. Hope and faith is all I got.

If it is a problem that has a solution, then you don't need to be sad, all you need is just the solution.

You would have known first if she was capable of doing such by looking at the faces of her children, starting from your hubby or wife, and if they have marks, that should have been the starting point of the discussion you should be having with her on her arrival and not after you have left your children.

Now to answer your question....i would sit on the floor and cry my eyes out,i would cry to the point that neighbours would come and knock on my door.i would be too angry to utter a word...her child would take the action to be done over.

modath:
Let it heal properly,if you don't you may do worse damage to yourself. stress fracture takes sometime to heal and we wouldn't want that.
I've also slowed down on my exercise(strenght training) cos the rain(+ the attendant cold) has flared up my dormant pain. I have gained about 2kg but am not letting it get to me,when the weather becomes nicer,I'll intensify my efforts.

Thanks jare!!!! i am holding off....but watching what i am eating, been feeding on chinese mixed vegetable for lunch, because if i should 'download rice or poundo" into my system as i am right now...it won't be funny... , so just a mixture of brocolli, beef, carrots, string beans....so that as i am not exercising for the week i am not gaining too. EEyah pele!!!...yoga can help with cold oooo....i have tried it severally and it has worked....

Nice Shymmex.....thank God for the other thread that was locked, i was ready to '"lambast" that guy that insulted msdarkskin, that nonsense he was spewing out was really uncalled for. we are all human beings and should be treated with respect irrespective of gender or colour.

jennykadry:

@ronke
I have lost count of the number of shoes and bags I have in my "dress up" room. All the men can do Is nag, kpa kpa. I Will hide it in my car and sneak it in when I can. I guard my car keys so jealously at times like that.

My dear, i used to love shoes oooo, but this days na bag...get me, my hubby is always asking what i am doing with all dem bags....it will soon shift to something else, i know.

Abali1: @Ronke,
This topic is not about me, so don't personalise it. As a matter of fact, I can boldly hit my chest and say that my apartment is far more neat than that of so many ladies out there. As you said before you did not have to clean any guys house before you got married. And to that I say, GOOD FOR YOU.
But on a serious note, why will people refer to Lady A as being a "Wife Material" and tell you to keep away from Lady B, cos she does not possess "Wifely qualities". Or are you trying to tell me that you have not heard of the phrase, "She is a wife Material".
The topic is simply asking, how do you measure these access those qualities that are refered to as "Wife material".
Afterall, we guys also have to show certain qualities that will make our girlfriends or our prospective brother/sister in-laws rate us well as someone who will make a good HUSBAND.

What do you think makes a good wife?, or what are the qualities you would expect your-wife-to- be to possess??, if you are not married yet.

I will start ROnke Bishop. you can link that up to my face book account.

For me,
1. Nigerian
2. Nigerian
3. Nigerian
4. Nigerian
5. Nigerian meals all the way....i have tried food from every culture i have been exposed too and i won't lie, it just did not go down well and maybe because i am a very picky eater, though i love Ghanian's dunkunu and fish, that is just the only meal i enjoy. Liberia's cassava leaf soup, is not bad too, but when you eat it from different people, it has different taste, so will stick with Naija meal any day.

kola oloye:
That guy won't be allowed in this house. He has eyes for beautiful ladies. NOT TO BE ENGAGED.NO NO NO.

As for Jamace, he is a gentle man but sorry, leave him out of this.I'm not ready to take any chances.

Is that jealousy i sense in the air?

^^^^^ Mr Abali...you are the one still sleeping and snoring....i am talking on behalf of myself now, my mum taught me well gan sef, if my boyfriend were to come to my house, i would be climbing, cooking and cleaning so that my house would look presentable and my food tasty, if i am to go and visit "my guy", i expect him to do the same, make sure his home is neat enough for my arrival, if he thinks he will leave his apartment dirty, with dirty dishes every where even under his bed and dirty and smelling socks on the dinning table....that is just my sign or enough sign "for me to run away from that dirty relationship", you would imgaine how his boxers would be (don't even wanna think about that).

If you think, when a lady comes to her boyfriend's house, wears her tee-shirt, borrows the guy's boxer, wears bathroom-slippers, bundles her hair up, and she is sweeping the whole compund and scrubbing the gutters, makes her a "wife material", then the guy is on "a long thing".

So just because your mum and sisters are looking for a wife that has a "house-girl" qualities does not make her a wife-material....it is just a quality that a good woman should add to her resume.

No exercise for me this week, my morale is low....my ankle is hurting me bad from the "insanity" i did on friday....yesterday i wore all my exercsie attire and just lay flat on the floor....no strength for exercise...thanks to the U-V.