I am present.....just watching from behind the curtains

ayox2003:

I think the OP assumes we are talking to somebody here. You may want to re-define it based on one person.


Frawzey.

read it again, you will understand it better!

You can love as many people you choose to love, but you can only truely be 'inlove" with one person, that special person that you see in others, that person that you still love against all odds, the person you can never ever forget.

@ Poster, if you marry someone that loves to eat in the morning, Oh yes!! you will have to cook him some food. if you can't cook, then remain in your fathers house, there are so many women out there that would cook him, breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner and after dinner snacks....willingly with love in their eyes.

Goodmorning everyone, how was your weekend?... so i am back to exercising....

Saturday: 55 mins of dancing, it was really reviving, i felt better and stronger.

Sunday: 1hr of dancing....felt great....had to, because i had too much groundnut, gari and milk.... enjoying some songs presently, so might be dancing more...still have to go and get me, insanity dvd,not backing-down yet. take care guys and be good.

Tgirl....ask her what she really wants?

^^^^^^ True dat!!! CC, true that.

^^^^^yeah!!!! you still do not see anything wrong in the way the man treated his wife

Miss_Ife: You are twisting what I just wrote. I said it is understandable, under some circumstances, that either spouse could be emotionally attached to someone else/emotionally withdrawn from the marriage. I am not saying it is a good thing, but it is human and understandable. Denying it or looking for someone to put the blame on wouldn't change anything. People can find themselves in situations they never thought they would be in, the point is to understand what is going on and decide wisely on what to do next.

That is how Dayo knows how to argue, to twist the whole post.....we are talking about someone who is not connecting to her husband because of ABUSE, he is justifying reasons to cheat in a marraige/union. i don't know how they look or sound alike.

dayokanu: ^^ Just to understand you better, You mean there are some situations where its understandable for a man to be emotionally attached to another woman outside his wedding.

In some circumstance Cheating is allowed? Good to know!!!

Also you also think its okay for a wife with kids to be going to every party in town?

Personally I think all those jumping to every party in town is a sign of irresponsibility and most men would frown at their wife and mother of their kids being that outgoing. But to you its understandable as long as its the woman doing it

^^^^awaawii...

Even if is not allowed (infidelity) men still do it. Majority of Nigeria men cheat on their wives, some do it blatantly others do it discreetly. So what questions are you asking all the vibe am getting from you, is that, it is good for the man to maltreat his wife, but not good for the woman to be emotionally attached to another person.

dayokanu:

This is not about a woman cheating again , not loving her husband again , Would rather go out than be with her family.

But from your opinion, It was the nagging can make the woman start to cheat, while nagging is not a reason for the man to cheat

is the nagging from the man enough reason for a woman to have an affair? to be more interested in going to owambes than stay with her kids and husband?

See you stuttering all over in your write-up....read No 4 of Tgirls, post and tell if it is only 'nagging" you saw there.

You know when one thinks really deep, you will have alot of fears lined up for you. But i have Something and Someone that is Greater than all my fears, so for that i Really do not have anything to worry about or Fear. HE IS IN CONTROL.

Efemena_xy: Waking up one morning to find that there aren't anymore Huggies disposable nappies or baby cosmetics.

Really?? as if your baby will remain a baby forever... you are so funny.

The lady said "hang-out sometime"" did she say she wants to sleep with him? that is what happens when you chat with a baby that has baby-carrots in between his legs.

Awwww!!!! nice....congrats!! Thank God for journey mercies. They are the best gift EVER!!!!

Dayo...your case is a lost one. I don't know the mentality you want to carry into your marraige that is if you are planning on marrying anyway.

1. Men do not need to be nagged at before they start having an affair.
2. Men do not need to have a wife that respects and adores them or insults them before they start having extra marital affairs and it goes for some women too.

This is a woman that married her husband either out of love or whatever but did not sign up for the abuse she is getting in the "so-called marraige"..you did not see anything wrong with the way he treated the woman but you saw something wrong in her "emotions"?....you have just disgusted me...to the point of no-return.

This is not about a man and woman thingy...but a HUMAN BEING. Even your child deserves to be respected and not treated anyhow.

Hey!!!!!!! God!

Dayo please read No 4 again of Tgirl's post.... if a woman treated a man, in this manner apart from the beating part, and has been doing it for a longtime, would you blame him if he starts to see another woman who treats him right?

Exponental: Not all marketable pdts are 4 sale.
.
Some display 2 remain in vogue,
some do it cos they feel comfortable in them,
some do it cos they are copy cats,
some do it cos they are stupeeeed!

You got me laughing!!!!!! true that!!!.

blackbalang: Are u serious. Do you expect ladies to dress anyhow just because they don't want guyz to approach them. The funny thing is that what you see as gorgeous may be termed Simple to another. meaning a lady may jeje put on her tees n jeans to go and buy pepper down d street but u'll see her dressing as gorgeous.lol

Another truth!!!

Seriously Tgirl, i really do not know how people take verbal abuse from their spouses and just keep silent. I can't, i am not created to. i really wanna take it and keep quiet for "peace sakes". By the time i am quiet...you will just hear an exploding sound ""kpaoooo!!!!" that means my head emotions, anger has exploded....no way, you will verbally abuse me infront of friends and family and i will keep quiet for you. "that guy would smell his mama yansh" that day, by the time i am done with him.

Now!!! this is the result, pent-up feelings/emotions have turned...you can't touch me in the bedroom.

I had a cousin who did the same thing....for long, for like 10 years...she just packed herself and 2 children one day and fled. and there is no way she is going back to her hubby, because all the feelings she once had were no where to be found.

Mr Lee:
Hmmmm.... These one na war o! If she marry's d man she will regrete it later cus the man will force her 2 be a muslin and will be marrying others wemen after her which is againts her faith. If abort d child and leave d man now and suffers it now and njoy 2morro. Let her choose one.

I agree with this, moreso, marraige is more than 'i love him" and 'he loves me"...you will be surprised how after many years down the road, it would be a different song. Nobody is trying to scare you or your cousin. the truth is before you seek for advice always try to advise yourself first. Getting pregnant was not the way to go at all. Your parents have every right to say no to a muslim spouse....especially when it involves their own child, a muslim parent has the right to say No to a Christain spouse (husband tobe) and so on and so forth.

Eloping is not the answer, God forbid something happens to either one of them<it would be a big problem for both families. in as much as i support marrying someone with whom you are "inlove" with, it would be better it is done with common sense.

Hmmmmm!!! akiika!!! now i know where the problem lies........SHE HAS FALLEN COMPLETELY OUT OF LOVE. The husband has lost on that one. there is no way you will treat someone like trash and expect them to love you in return. She has no cure for that one, unless he changes and turns a new leaf...if he doesn't he has lost his wife emotionally, mentally and psychologically... she is no longer his wife perse, only on the signed lines of their marraige certificate.

It is going to be a matter of time before she really sleeps with the person she is emotionally attached to and treats her well and when that happens, it is a big 'BYE-BYE' to the current union. she has not opened -up to you yet on how and what she is truely doing with her "real" feelings.

Tgirl...download the 411 of the lady,so we know where to start...what is her appearance like? the truth is, we really do not know the problem so helping her would be a major task...if she was the one that cheated on her husband, then there will not be any attraction especially if she was emotionally attached to that person (just my thoughts though).

if it was the husband, then the lady is still holding grudges and making love to him, would be hell in the sense that her mind would be wondering if he was thinking about "tina", or "was this how he used to handle them"?.

Now if the guy is not a sex guru...a strong lady with bed-prowess will be easily turned off. because it will still be the same issue...just "cum and stand up".

She has to realise that this is her husband and has to do everything possible to bring back that fire.

Tgirl from my point of view..i think the lady

- has fallen out of love completely with her hubby. and am sure it was due to the issues they had in the past.it is easy for some people to forgive and compltely forget, why for others na wire!!! let your friend sit and ponder on the issue and let her find herself again, from there she can revive the feelings she once had for him.

- Also, she can start by taking control of what goes down in the bedroom....she should take charge and do it to him the way she likes it. crazy kpekusing would bring out the excitement once again.

WHEN THEY BRING BACK THE LIVES OF THE NIGERIANS THEIR USELESS FLIGHTS HAVE TAKEN, then the ban can be removed OR lifted.

@ Poster, just sleep with your aunty's husband already and save the both of you the headaches of this text you are sending each other....if he did not see you as that "type", he would not be texting or harrassing you.

Hmmmm!!!!!!

Sisi_Kill:

Couldn't agree more!!

While I don't want to hold a brief for mom here, I won't be surprised if it's just that she is still in the "Ehn, What will people say, my daughter is twice married" mode (that "what will people think" mentality is so hard to do away with, especially with the older generation) I'd like to believe if she thought beyond that, she won't have made that statement.

Exactly.....i know she is thinking that the ex has changed, but it took him another 4 or 5 years after Debrief left him to 'change", and i know if she had not left, she might have lost her life. Moreso, he changed only because he fell ill.

The guy has nice muscles.....imagine if he grabs one bread seller, that one own don burn be dat!!!