₦airaland Forum

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Mayflowa:
I had probably exchange my late dad for your drunkard dad!

What did he do?

edoboy33:
fiction

Yeah, we all know its fictitious but I like it

DY20:
Hi Nairalanders!

"My dad talks too much" and by saying too much I did not mean he's crazy or something, I mean he talks sensible thing for an absurd long period of time.

Let me use 5 out of million of scenario to define my case.

1. Anytime the family is complete inside the house, and everyone is quiet; busy with something, I browsing on my phone, my little brother playing video game, my sister using beads, mum watching TV and my dad? Talking. When it is very obvious that no one cares to listen, he continue talking.

2. If any of my friends came to visit me, they will become my dad's guest. From the very first moment they say "Good morning" to him, he started talking, asking them questions, essp about their work, school, and talking about his own life too. Like what is happening now, I can see awkward smile on their face as they listen but just don't want to walk away leaving him embarrassed.

3. One day, I was chatting with girlfriend till late in the night, he woke up and say a light in the male children's room, he came in and started accusing me of internet fraud. We talked and talked till we settle it at dawn. From 2 to 4.30. In the morning, my dad started the topic with my mum again.

4. He talks every seconds when he is in the house or when anyone is with him.

5. He make anyone he saw with me (or any of my siblings) to introduce themselves. Indoor or outdoor.

I don't usually talk about my family affair with people but nobody knows me here or my dad.

I just want to know how to handle situation like this because I've started thinking of leaving the house. Maybe I'll learn to accept him when I don't see him everyday.

See? He is starting already... continues to talk when I'm not even looking at him.

Oh, you complaining ust because your dad likes keeping his lips in motion. Look, I have a drunkard father who has been embarassng us since the beginning of time. He would fall inside a canal, gutter, vomit everywhere etc. Now that we all have grown and left home, he still does his shiits, and the stains are still unwashed till this moment. I would exchange him for my drunkard dad anytime anyday. Go thank your stars

God help us

Garrirevenge:
I dont really do friends, best friends and friends for life stuff. I just miggle and flow with anybody i think is of credible charater. Cause i dont want friend wahala.
I have always have close friends at school, my area and other places like that, but our friendship is limited to where we met each other. At a time i thought something was wrong with me, but i later realize that its just who i am. So i cant remember any real betrayal from a friend.
But then i can sacrifice alot for anyone if we are close sha.

@Your signature. Abbegg chose one na. Dancing or dangling?

Nma27:
Roger that.

Is that you on your dp?

Nma27:
One devil back stabbed me and stole my bf... Swore to keep only male friends after that. Male frds get their own wahala though

Never keep male friends when you have a boyfriend/fiance/husband. Never!

amokeme:
OK... that's fine..

I do appreciate this. Thanks.

I just sent you a PM

amokeme:
By simply doing what you just did now, mention her.

And that girl is you.

Spent a whole lot of time going through your profile (posts and topics, picture and signature etc), and I am impressed!

I would like to know you off Nairaland.

Could you please give me the opportunity to become a real life friend with you?

amokeme:
Hanahn what do you mean?

Please I need your help. As a lady I am sure you can help in this situation that I have found myself in. How do I get the attention of a girl om Nairaland?

Thanks so much.

Wiretransfer:
I am scared of marriage cos of the responsibilities involved.
I think marriage is an unnecessary burden especially with kids.
It becomes more difficult to achieve your goals and dreams as you are now responsible for others and not yourself alone. Coupled with the economic situation in this country.
I sometimes feel for my married colleagues and friends cos its really not easy.
Family issues, In-laws, Kids, Health, School fees, disagreements with spouse e.t.c
not worth it.

I do not look forward to getting married. I dont even think about it. NOT A THOUGHT

I was once like you. I vowed never to get married, but I thought, if you stay single you will have problems in life. Loneliness will kill you one day when all your friends are married. If you get married you still have problems. Why not get married and have problems than being single and miserable.

Now I have put my not so good lifestyle away and searching for a soul mate.

This is a joke, right?

It can't be publicity stunt 'cos the Jet company posted a tweet with their verified Twitter account.

My guess is that his record label is seizing the opportunity of his tribulations to promote this single.

PS: Just wasted my precious 3mb in downloading the thrash song. It is the worst song I ever listened to since birth. Bad beats, bad song, stuipid lyrics. Inam deleting it straight away.

PSS: Or could it be that the song wasnt done by Dammy (The voice doesnt sound like his). Probably the OP just wanted to promote his virus infested website, and our mods who have a knack for pushing shitty materials to frontpage wasted no time in nodding it to the promised land.

Funky123:
Smiles......U cant expect all d ladies on nairaland to be irresponsible nw,out of the bad some good ones are still dere

Well...

Funky123:
U cant say bro....even d one u met in church aint angels...Only God can direct our path

Well... I agree. But I still find it hard to believe matured and responsible ladies exist on Nairaland. Maybe the responsible ones dont post all the time, abi why am I not seeing them

amokeme:
Hanahn what do you mean?

I have paraded the Romance section of Nairaland a couple of times to see if I could lay hands on a good lady for a serious relationship but majority of the girls here are immature, hence my reason for saying coming here is a No No.

shaydeenamz:
I feel u bro,was getting addicted to betting n to be honest it almost ruin mebt I thank God I won't say am 100% out bt it has reduced.The worst was we. I couldn't raised my sch fees something dat am above it I wept profusely dat day BT am coming out.

Dont let it reduce bro. You have to kick betting out of your life completely...Continually tell yourself that you cannot win money from betting, you cannot make a life from betting, you cant marry or raise kids from betting proceeds, no one became rich through betting.

Please kick it out

My younger brother who stays with me was addicted to betting (sport betting, ajansare owonjono etc). He would bet with my money 'cos he doesnt work, just an aspiring footballer. He stole 12k, 20k and 40k from me to bet, just to mention the highest amounts. His whole life was crumbling, he became a menace, everyone in the family hated him, he didnt even like his own life but couldnt help it. I would send him to my Dad's place, the family will beg me to take him back. This is a boy I am planning to send to Europe to play football. I have spent up to a million on his football career already. A very skillful footballer. If I share his videos to watch you woould want to put your money on him. He is so good I can bet he can win the Ballon D'or someday, but betting was ruining his life.

So I stopped complaining and went online to get every material accessible, I became a psychologist for his sake. I counselled him with love deveryday and gradually he dropped his addiction. He is so completely free now that he feels like burning down every betting shop he sees. I have tested him on countless occasions and he passed. He cant even steal 50 naira from me again.

Most addicts are aware of their wown problems but they cant help it. They need love and patience to help them get rid of it. Scolding and reprimanding them wont get them out of their misery.

This fallacious write up is Not written by me. Copied from FB


If your boss pays you N30,000 per month, assuming you decided to save all without touching a dime, it will take you 36 months to make N1million. (Did I hear you say 3years?) Absolutely!

On the other hand, if you can convince an organisation like Dangote Group, to print and supply 5000 umbrellas to them (to be used as souvenirs) and you make just N200 profit per umbrella, in just one day you must have made N1million.

What about becoming a billionaire, that's where it gets crazy!

OK, now let's increase your pay to N1,000,000 per month and you decide to save all without touching a dime.
In a year, you must have saved N12million.
It will take about 84 years before you can make N1billion.
(Please subtract your current age).

On the other hand, Nigeria has a population of about 200 million people.

If you can supply salt to just 12million, once in a month and you make just N200 from each person supplied, in one year, you must have made N2.9billion.

This shows that to become rich, you have to stop talking to bosses and start talking to clients.

You have to stop thinking inside the box and even stop thinking outside the box.
Yes..."The box" is still a limitation.

You have no idea what your mind is capable of, do you?
This is what you have to do.

SET YOUR MIND FREE AND THINK LIKE THERE IS NO BOX AT ALL.

Bro, na the same thing dey do us o. I feel the need to settle down and seriously in search of a good woman who can stand the chance of becoming a wife soon, but sorry, coming here to search for a wife is a no no

They should Ban Shisha (Hookah)...

Current evidence indicates shisha may cause numerous health problems. Hookah smoking appears to increase the risk of several cancers (lung, esophageal, and gastric), pulmonary diseases (impaired pulmonary function, chronic bronchitis, and emphysema), coronary artery disease, periodontal disease, obstetrical and perinatal problems (low birth weight and pulmonary problems at birth), larynx and voice changes, and osteoporosis. Many of the studies to date have methodological limitations, such as not measuring hookah use in a standardized way. Larger, high quality studies are needed to learn more about the long-term health effects of hookah use and of exposure to hookah smoke.

axortedbabe:
superstar?
On what profession. .

The Kardashians are superstars too without a profession... So, free her

A thread about Davido's baby mama smoking shisha (Hookah) made it to frontpage recently, and I read the comment of someone who claimed she was doing nothing wrong as shisha is only some kind of flavour. Here is the thread: https://www.nairaland.com/3830692/davidos-baby-mama-amanda-smoking

I hear a lot of youths in Nigeria saying Shisha (Hookah) has no side effects. Sorry to burst your burbles, the effects are worse than smoking cigareth and marijuana combined.

Well, I decided to do some googling and landed on Wikipedia. Below are excerpts from wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hookah):

Shisha smoke contains multiple toxic chemicals. Water does not filter out many of these chemicals. Hookah smoke contains toxic chemicals that come from the burning of the charcoal, tobacco, and flavorings.

Shisha smokers inhale many chemicals that can cause cancer, heart disease, lung disease, and other health problems.These chemicals include tobacco-specific nitrosamines, polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs; e.g., benzo[a]pyrene and anthracene), volatile aldehydes (e.g. formaldehyde, acetaldehyde, acrolein), benzene, nitric oxide, heavy metals (arsenic, chromium, lead), and carbon monoxide (CO).[72] Hookah smoking increases the amount of carbon monoxide (CO) in a person's body to eight times their normal level. Compared to smoking one cigarette, a single hookah session exposes users to more carbon monoxide and PAHs, similar levels of nicotine, and lower levels of tobacco-specific nitrosamines. Because of inhaling these chemicals, hookah smokers are at increased risk of many of the same health problems as cigarette smokers.

Current evidence indicates shisha may cause numerous health problems. Hookah smoking appears to increase the risk of several cancers (lung, esophageal, and gastric), pulmonary diseases (impaired pulmonary function, chronic bronchitis, and emphysema), coronary artery disease, periodontal disease, obstetrical and perinatal problems (low birth weight and pulmonary problems at birth), larynx and voice changes, and osteoporosis. Many of the studies to date have methodological limitations, such as not measuring hookah use in a standardized way. Larger, high quality studies are needed to learn more about the long-term health effects of hookah use and of exposure to hookah smoke.


Read more here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hookah

Airforce1:
"Shisha" is nothing but just a flavour

I see nothing wrong in what she's doing
Even Davido her baby daddy Liked the photo so...


But dis girl set o

Its not just a flavour, thats what the girls tell you to justify their evil doings. Below is what I found on Wikipedia:

Hookah smoke contains multiple toxic chemicals.[71] Water does not filter out many of these chemicals.[71] Hookah smoke contains toxic chemicals that come from the burning of the charcoal, tobacco, and flavorings. Hookah smokers inhale many chemicals that can cause cancer, heart disease, lung disease, and other health problems.[72] These chemicals include tobacco-specific nitrosamines, polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs; e.g., benzo[a]pyrene and anthracene), volatile aldehydes (e.g. formaldehyde, acetaldehyde, acrolein), benzene, nitric oxide, heavy metals (arsenic, chromium, lead), and carbon monoxide (CO).[72] Hookah smoking increases the amount of carbon monoxide (CO) in a person's body to eight times their normal level.[73] Compared to smoking one cigarette, a single hookah session exposes users to more carbon monoxide and PAHs, similar levels of nicotine, and lower levels of tobacco-specific nitrosamines.[4][72] Because of inhaling these chemicals, hookah smokers are at increased risk of many of the same health problems as cigarette smokers.[6][71]

redbeans:
4. Modelling/video vixiens - models are like 'semi-gods' in the world of pretty ladies. It's a criteria for models to be pretty naturally. They are well chosen out from a myriad of girls. Nice body with killing eyes and heels.

5. Presenters/O.A.P: presenters tend to attract affluent men due to their looks, intelligence and packaging. If you are privilege to wife them, it will be the talk of the town. They've got a large followership.

They are mostly good for flings. Marry them and experience heart attack cum cardiac arrest

AZUH:
But once you speak Good English they will run away . I remember my encounter with them . They stop me at bode Thomas and first was your a criminal Me : with your father? SARS : I will slap and beat the hell out and nothing will happen. Me : tell that to touts " no much words need . SARS : where are you coming from ? Me : gon ask your father I have my freedom as a Nigerian and who's looking for me ? SARS : big slap on my face . Me : I returned it and said we can die here and it's two fighting I wasn't saying much . The team leader asked me what's wrong with clean simple English . I deserve your protection or nothing . SARS : what do you for a living Me : non of your business . SARS : let him go he's a fool Me : like your father Till today once they sight my car the next thing is let him go . Nigerians won't die if they stand for their right . P:S my lawyers always told me if you don't look for trouble you will never be bold enough to handle police . Those people are scared just like normal citizens don't ever let them intimidate you but don't talk too much . Just be calm .

Oga, seems you dont know how devilish these people are. Just make sure you dont try this your stunt at night. They can drive you away and shoot you dead, then throw you into the bush.....IT HAS HAPPENED SEVERAL TIMES

IhateAfonjas:

West Ham ??

This is why you don't start playing for big clubs when you're just 20 years old

Ronaldo began with Lisbon [b](Second biggest club in potugal)

James Rodriguez : Fc porto (Biggest club in Portugal)

Neymar : Santos (Biggest club in Brazil)

Messi : even though he graduated from Barcelona academy, they left him on the bench at the senior team (Barca na Barca)

Pogba : left united to go start from Juventus which is a small club (Juve is the biggest club in Italian football history)

Zlatan : Ajax[b] (Biggest club in Holland)[/b]

Van dar sar : Ajax[/b]

Going by your analysis, one should start with a big club

Headlesschicken:
whom no like better tin,big n thick rock's buh i would never settle for one.... Dey just suit my appetite 4now....

I can relate bro cos I am in you shoes. I can do them for flings, but serious relationship and marriage, slim all the way

webincomeplus:
@OP,

There are some things you need to realize about Adsense.

Forget about the high-paying keywords shit. Adsense doesn't float high-paying ads on new or struggling blogs. They reserve those ads for high traffic sites and highly targeted authority niche sites.

As for your earnings, 500 views won't fetch you anything tangible. That's even if the so-called 500 views are genuine human visits and not hits by bots and search engine spiders.

From my experience, to earn at least $100 monthly from Adsense, you'll need to attract at least 1,500 unique visitors per day (Google Analytics figures). And to get to that point, you still have a lot work to do. The biggest secret to earning big on Adsense is TRAFFIC! There's no getting around that!

As for ad selection, that might play a role too. The most lucrative Adsense banner is the 300 x 250 banner. I mean, it comes with the highest cost-per-click and is most commonly used by advertisers. But in terms of attracting links, text link ads are the best (though they generate very stupidly low cpc). So, your best bet is a combination of both banners and text links.

Ad placement matters as well. The best position to get clicks is the top of a blog post, just under the header. From my experience, this position gets better clicks than even header banners that most visitors have developed some blindness to. In short, banner and text links inserted at intervals within your content and below it perform best. Even sidebar banners are trashy because they get pushed to the bottom in mobile browsers (which most people use).

At the stage your blog is at right now, your focus shouldn't be on monetization. You should focus more on growing your blog with quality content and well-played out SEO implementation.

I have a blog that presently generates around $1500 monthly on Adsense, but trust me, I didn't place any ads on the site until it started generating about 2,500 visits per day. Right now, it generates around 25,000 unique visits per day and over 2 million page views monthly (GA stats). You too can get there with consistency and hardwork.

If at this stage you're already getting too worried over earnings, I doubt that blogging is the right thing for you.

Where is your blog address. I can pay you any amount to mentor me

@lawyer, I want to be a property agent. If I need your service to help search and authenticate(plus dees of assigment) a property for a client, how many percentage from the agency fee will you collect.

And (2) I have always had this issue: Who pays the agency and legal fees. The seller or the buyer?

Tokziby:
Its highly impossible. The reason is simple, human are social animal meaning that we cannot survive without being around people. Human are easily bored especially when u live alone. Living alone is dangerous cos u can develop illness at any time and when there is no one to call, u are as good as dead. Majority of people that live alone surfer in silence, they are never happy either because they are not married or childless. Living alone also has psychological effects causing the person to be a saddist, get upset easily or over thinking.

In the developed countries where old people live alone, they usually die of depression. That is why they have old people home where they can interact with their fellow mate and live a longer life. In places like Nigeria, u will discover that they are the nicest of people, this is because they want to lure people around them and always have someone to chat with. That is why they prefer to live in the village where they have friends than to live in the city where their children will leave them at home doing nothing and nobody to interact with.

In case u are planning to do that its never the best thing to do. You might enjoy it when u are still young but the moment u reach ur forties expect something different.

Seun, read this guy's post carefully and do the needful asap