₦airaland Forum

Congrats Serena, my younger sis! Your best is yet to come....you surely learned from me...

I think james brown is regarded as the best dancer of all tym...followed by mj..

Django unchained, les miserables, zero dark thirty, the hobbit and the master

semid4lyfe:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00zC4oFmxEw

I am so not feeling the trailer. . .the voice dey one kind and acting looks sub par.

Reminds me of that wack Obi Emelonye film Mirror Boy

Did you just call 'Mirror boy' a wack film? It's either u were high when u typed this or u saw d movie with your left eye closed. Bad belle!

Pastor Adeboye
Daniel day-lewis
Kate winslet

toluxe0075: 10 tyms beta than 24,24 is just jack bauer n nothing more, in jumong there is shift of power, itz funny, they plan coup n itz wel executed(no b d type wey dem go shoot person wey dem go come flash back sey he wore bullet proof) encouragement n determination in it(mo pal mol,jumong) betrayal, drama, suspense,luv, and many more...wat i gbadun most is d shift of power evrybody had a taste of power, d king,dae so, jumong, young po,prime minister,jumong's mum, dae-so's mum,even hyeen to city governor also had a taste of power not dat d whole power is bestow on just one character thruout d movie, mehn jumong is the best(season 1-

Were you high when u typed this?

'By the time I'm through with you, you will go back to your village singing children rhymes'.

And you think 'jumong' is better tha '24'? abegi!

mufex: You are a very talented writer. Nice dialogues, story.....I would like to read more of your works.
Write down your e-mail so that we will talk more.....thanks.

Am very grateful for d compliment. Here is my email- oladesuolusola@yahoo.com.

VillageBoi: Well said Lynx. He has a very good idea and as you rightly said just the class conflict can make a feature film.
@ Sholay - Remeber how we come from a society that 'respects' elders? Queen could be the one person that gives him hell because he's much, much older... that could play a bit more intersting than the class prefect thing IMO. I also think you should write it as a feature; you're onto something very good here.

Tnx very much everybody. actually, I am used to writing for a feature film and not a short one and this is my first attempt which 'really showed' . Nevertheless, I am grateful for d encouragement and corrections.
PS Mr Villageboi, I used 'class representative' which is very well used in our naija universities (also 'governor'), not 'class prefect'. lol.

May God have mercy on your ignorance...my people perish cos of lack of knowledge.

Hello. I am by God's grace a christian. I just read about one Pastor's encounter with our Lord Jesus Christ and the revelation of heaven and hell that was shown to him. After reading, I fell into a deep thought about those things I'm currently doing that were maybe mentioned amongst acts that could get one to hell.
Then something came up- I know God is an omniscient God and also wishes us the best because we all know his plans are good and not for evil to give us an expected end.
So, this begets my question of 'does God already know those that would end up in hell, no matter who they are now, maybe pastors, elders, prostitutes or a pope?'
Are people destined to go to hell or heaven right from their creation?
If not, then what should we say about Judas in the bible? If he didn't betray Jesus Christ, would He have been crucified, dying for us? Though, his role was evil in nature but maybe he was fulfilling purpose or something.
Then I remembered God's purpose is always for good and not evil; but if one's destiny is not to fulfill his or her actual purpose?
We hear of pastors going to hell or prostitutes repenting at the die minute and going to heaven...some say they changed their destiny...but what if their destiny was to alter the already-destiny they had supposedly? I am confused.
I believe in destiny but the best thing I think I can do for myself is to though acknowledge its existence but never put into reasoning while acting because it may limit one's personal efforts in solving life problems. (Don't be surprised, some 'religious' Nigerians have termed the boko haram impasse as Nigeria's destiny.)
I ask myself again, why does God still allow people to give birth in places the gospel may never reach before they die and that may not be an excuse in heaven?
Then, I remember the word 'grace' which has been bestowed on people that have heard the word.
Or why did God just prefer Jacob to Esau from the womb, without any reason stated? So, is that Esau's destiny right from the onset?
Apostle Paul said, then potter can do anything with the clay...whether to mould a fine cup or a spoilt basket...so I can't question God.
I just pray he moulds me into a vessel unto honour and shapens my destiny as that of a man after his own heart.

Back to the topic, what's your take on 'destiny'?

VillageBoi: I do agree with Consgliere about making it more about 'the challenges faced by Rotimi as a student' - that's where the story is. Also give much more thought to how people 'really' behave - Would Ronke be calling her dad just after intimacy especially if she doesn't want him to kow she spent the night with her boyfriend? Doubtfull... rather the call would come to her phone; not her making the call - that immediately causes 'conflict' in the scene. Think deeply of the 'why' X, Y or Z happens in every scene when you write. Well done.

E se gan an sir

Consigliere: @sholay..i read ur script and found it very interesting,But lemme tell u wot i expect...i expect dt d story will b more of d challenges face by Rotimi as a student..n u should try to visualize more ...n i dont think Mama ronke should easily agree with her husband like dt...U knw women dey love to nag about issues b4 dey actually made up their mind...
Good write up any way keep it Up

Thanks v much. I would take note on that mama ronke issue...maybe because i wanted it to be a short script drama and so didnt explore d challenegs faced by Mr Rotimi but the one I was sure he would face unlike every other student was the age factor thing which the story's villain-Queen tried using to get at him but he never felt ashamed cos he had a goal. the objective of the drama piece is actually to show that 'it's never too late' which inspired his own daughter, Ronke, after series of failed relationships, not to show that 'schooling at an old age is challenging'. tnx all d same.

Titanic, Training day, Inglorious basterds, figurine, my sister's keeper.

VillageBoi: Yo Sholay, nice one. Good effort, well done! Here are a few pointers. When we first see Rotimi you say – “His friend sits down…” Add in a line of ‘description’ so we right away know he is as old as Kizito.

Remove the bit is scene 2 where Mama Ronke ‘falls into deep thought’ and as in every Nollywood film, miraculously figures out the answer – RE: The books - Rotimi could simply say “They don’t belong to Ronke, they are mine’. A few lines down she cries two tears and says “Ok, you can go and realise your dreams”… where is the ‘conflict’
The ‘resolutions’ up to this point are far too easy! Kind of a cop out.

The next scene – excerpt –
Ronke is in her sitting room and dials a number on her cell phone. We saw that happen so why does she tell her boyfriend ‘she has to call her dad’? Then she tells ‘us’ “It’s ringing” – your audience isn’t deaf – they can ‘hear’ the ring tone.
I’m saying these things to make you start visualising in ‘images’. Don’t tell, tell, tell; do much more of show, show, show.
I would have expected – she’s on the phone, we hear the dial tone, her bf comes in and hugs her, she raises a finger to her lips as in shhhhh, points to the phone and whispers “My dad”. We’d get that without all the ‘explanatory’ dialogue.

I’m not sure about Uni in Nigeria but ‘Class Representative’?? That’s so secondary school prefect. And you character Queen talks too much.

A lot more to say but I’ll end with this – What is your ‘story’? It starts off as the tribulation of an older man wanting an education – very good, then in descends into some classroom stuff which you should cut all of that out. Find something else to link to his ‘graduation’. Let’s be honest – the classroom stuff is a bit of a hot mess and take a lot away from the original story.

Also as a tough writing exercise – cut out two-thirds of your dialogue – only write words that move the story forward and have a place in the script and don’t let your characters keep on repeating themselves.

PS – His wife does not have to die

You can write an amazing story with practice and it reminds me of ‘The First Grader’ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0790663/ – If you can watch that film.

Thanks very much, my bro for d correctns. but lemme talk frm my view:
As regards the scene 2, I was trying to show that Mama Ronke already knew her husband had interest in going back to school but never took him serious and didn't know he would go that far. (She was not too dumb to figure that out...lol). Still, i will take note of the 'go and realise your dreams issue'. I will also take note of the Kizito's age description.
As regards where Ronke was calling her dad, she just finished having sex wiv her supposed boyfriend whom she didnt want her father to know that she spent the night with him...so, she had to literally alert him that she wants to call her dad and congratulate him on his admission.
Well, as for Queen, as much as I wanted her to be villain of the story; being talkative also made her distinct. Don't you think some ladies could be very insulting and talkative or do you mean she should 'tell' less and 'show' more...lol
Villageboi...thanks very much.

Hello, I'm here again. Just drafted this short drama piece. Pls criticise constructively, thanks.
In addition, the short story is contained in the file attached to d thread by the name- 'A legacy'.

I trust the rare talent of Bimbo Akintola...she would do an exceptional job...

Also, denzel washington as 'Alonzo' in 'Training day'...wat a villain...

lol...nice dad

Super1759: Is OAU a school? Mchewww,anyway congrats bro

U re a glorified m.o.r.o.n....

We've been guilty of this in one tym or the other in our lives jare...NEXT!

But in movie making for example, there are areas of the art that still kind of test your IQ like writing and directing compared to acting where you rely purely on your talent, just doing what the director asks you to do.

Writing is nt rily a measure of IQ but rather, maybe artistic brilliance. But I always feel personally that creativity is another level of intelligence because putting words together to create a realistic plot and very real characters is no beanz! But stil, IQ is not the same as talent.