₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Orton1_0 link=topic=587659.msg7552029#msg7552029 date=1295302170]Lmfao, Wisyno bro, do you know how it feels to finally see one's lost rib?
Bro its like the feeling you get after a finding a needle in a haystack,lol, Then talk more of proposing to her,
As for me o, God knows i've been fooling arround wif the wrong women all my life,
But the moment I set ma eyes on  dat rib, dat 'wife material', huh, i don't mind  licking her feet or
even kissing lil' a** while proposing, regardless irrespective of the fact that the She loves me or
even wants to gat married by all means.lol[/quote]Well - Today I Have Had the Pleasure of Reading from a "REAL MAN." I cannot bow to you - because my knees belong to "my man." But I can definitely remove my head-scarve and curtsey.

SAY IT LOUD Mr. Orton, SAY IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.

My 2 cents - as many times, in countless way, I will be on my knees for my man - the owner of his rib (me).

My heart will melt to see him on his knee [few times - because I don't want him down there much] during our different life-cycle events. (engagements, marriage, etc.)

To see him on his knee [those few times] - will make me gladly drop to my knees [all the time].

And a man that can't understand that or see its necessity in my regard - isn't the man for me.

Knee-dropping isn't about the "romance or the movies," it is about showing your significant other, your life partner that you definitely possess the "rare competency" to be willing to "give all" to the relationship. Giving your time, your pride, your self [being selfless] - walks your talk for you, as you no longer have to open your mouth - because your actions speak louder than your words.

If I am willing and will in deed - wash his feet with my hair (no weave), massage, kiss, lick, etc. his entire body; his dropping to his knee on rare and special occasions should be spontaneous and come from the heart. If it doesn't - he belongs to another and not me.

[quote author=Orton1_0 link=topic=587688.msg7552352#msg7552352 date=1295306864]Well at my former work place, this newly tansferred chick was kinda being a pain in the arse wif her unending orders and demands to her subordinates, I hated her wif a passion and almost all of ma co-workers felt the same way.
A board of Directors Kinda meeting was going on, so she was asked to make a designated number of copies of a given doc for the board, and this old printing machine jammed on her, Stood there for a coupla minutes trying all she could to no avail, fellow workers giggled and worked by, I felt sorry for her and saved the day. Dat day we got acquainted and We walked and talked our way back home. We were frnds for like four more months before i left. Still close till date.[/quote]Thank you for that comment - I as well found out some years back that the very people you dislike [as most people that you meet in person and over the internet] you only meet a certain side of that individual and that if you open your thought and/or meet that person under different circumstances/locations there is a HUGE LIKELIHOOD that you will not only have common ideas and aspirations but sooner than later - enjoy their company as well.

rokiatu:
Beauty is not everything. But when you truly luv someone, you love their whole being. From head to toes including their imperfections. In your case, you luv her but you are not attracted to her. Well end it right now mate cus you aren't doing her any favour by marrying her. None whatsoever.


Let her find someone who thinks she's fantastic in every shape and form which obviously isn't you. Trust me no matter how bad she looks to you, there are many guys
out there who will find her physically attractive. Although U have mentioned a few of her great qualities, in your eyes thats not enough to substain you. To spend your life with someone, their whole being should be appealing to you.


In answer to you question, I have no ideal how you're gonna handle this but read my advice above and think twice, infact wait, there will be many more great advices from nairalanders. But can a marriage last without attraction? The answer is a resounding NO! I guess it would be fair to say that you could get along well cus she has a lot you're looking for in a wife. But the main question is, will you stay with her if you find someone you're physical attracted to tommorrow?

I completely agree with Rokiatu

End it! She sounds like she could be a great friend - but the wife/husband connection needs more than emotional attraction/attachment

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=586446.msg7550326#msg7550326 date=1295284935]Thank you, Shyone. I guess he had to hear from you because I basically said the same thing with different delivery.

You are exactly right Shyone because many people who are Muslims with multiple wives are not married in the court system and that practice were adopted by the blacks during the NEW DEAL era please let me say that before he start preaching about what he never read. Goodness. Blacks adopted the that practice to ensure family tradition and was still using the government for benefits.

The shift in Nuclear Black families made black women the head of household and many of the brothers are in jail.[/quote]Thanks Chima

I second that emotion.

[quote author=isale_gan2 link=topic=586446.msg7545242#msg7545242 date=1295214220]I noticed this topic and thought it was interesting - with no intent to participate since I had nothing to contribute.

But I have to highlight some things that really conflicted with everything I know.  I'm not AA, but pursuing Pol Sci in the US means, to my utter consternation, I know more about American History and Politics than that of my own.  

Really, I have to address the following, and feel free to reply me :

1) I think you meant FDR's "NEW DEAL." You're conflating Great Depression and New Deal.

2) "JIM CROW" was not in the 1960s.  Jim Crow happened in the period after the civil war, during Reconstruction, 1865 onwards.  You must have meant to say, 60s = time of the Civil Rights Movement, MLK's time.
 
3) This is surprising. I have never heard of this. While I am not NOI, I have had a lot of contact with them, plus other "mainstream" Muslims in the US. Black muslims in America, mainly the Nation of Islam, did not approve of or enable single motherhood. I have seen nothing referencing the practice, in the 70s or beyond, where women were encouraged to get married by an Imam under "Islamic Tenet" so they could continue to collect welfare from the government.  To the contrary, the Black Muslims emphasised economic independence and, in some cases, separatism.

4) To what extent did Blacks participate in the New Age Movement in 70s?  The prevailing view is that the 70s for AA was a time when they were proclaiming the "Black Power" and "Black Separatist"movements, along with  "Black Liberation Theology."  I always thought Black  participation in the New Age Movement was very limited.

Other than that, interesting thread.[/quote]Here's my quality education and I AM AA.

I am going to reply to the above via number format.

1) You are definitely correct on the above corresponding point

2)  You are incorrect - you might need to take a few more classes [just a suggestion, not trying to be rude].  Jim Crow Laws were in effect through over half of the 60's -that is ONE OF THE MANY REASONS FOR THE EXISTENCE OF the "Civil Rights Movement"  - I have family members that marched with MLK and several other AA and White leaders - http://academic.udayton.edu/race/02rights/jcrow02.htm

3) Because you haven't seen it - doesn't mean it doesn't exist because the red highlighted area is definitely occurring on various scales in this country - even to THIS DAY - regardless to your understanding and/or personal close experience with a few muslim associates.  In North Carolina there is a very large group of Muslims - which my 1st cousin is a member and she is a 2nd wife to an Imam and was married under Muslim Law (tribal) and didn't marry in the court system.  They have a HUGE following in that area.  She married in 2010 and this EXISTS TO THIS DAY.  (No one knows everything - what we assume, and even much information we gather in school - in theory is a "good read" however, in practice and application - It is a totally different story.

4) In the 70's Republicans ran this country for 3/4's of the 70's through 1977.  So blacks who had just been released from segregation and were largely uneducated, homeless, jobless - didn't progress in that era as they should have had different conditions been available to them.  SO I agree about their lack of progression in that critical time period as you have mentioned.

Well - I have an extremely early day tomorrow - my plate is over flowing I wasn't myself in the last 10 days (ill) and need to catch up with some major clients of significance.

Have a wonderful evening.

ttyl

@ Mz. Chima:

Yes - I completely agree with you.  But my guy doesn't want me in this section anymore - AT ALL - so you will see much less of me.  But I still every now and then enjoy reading and saying hello.

@ Mz. Dark:

Thank you very much.  The insults thrown at you were venomously reptilian in nature and the level of attack was unnecessary and time wasting - if it isn't fruitful financially, inspiring spiritually, uplifting academically, correcting in nature - why put forth the effort or energy?  I just don't get it.

One thing I do know - is that if you "weren't all that and a bag of chips" - she wouldn't be wasting her time attacking you.  You know if someone isn't worth my effort - I DON'T EXPEND.  It's that simple.  Who stops on the side of the road to pick up insignificant others?  NO ONE.   You stop to speak to those that are significant.  So the next time you change your profile picture - girl throw ya head back - grin real wide for the camera and wink at the same time.  

Everything she says to you in her insults proves that she is doing the exact opposite of what she said or she wouldn't even speak to you.  She sounds insecure like she can't wait for someone of your quality to "bow down to her."  That's how she sounds.  Someone is "slaving her" - so she wants to "slave you."  Remember that,  Every time I run into someone who is screaming or nasty or really negative - I don't have to look far to find a bunch of mess in their video.  They treat others as they are being treated.  I PROMISE YOU THAT.  Everything she wants you to do - someone at home is doing to her.  So continue to overlook her.

Hi Mrs. Chima

I too have missed you and your threads - I do enjoy reading your comments. You know I was just catching up on reading the last 2 pages of this thread - wooowwww

what is wrong with that writer attacking Mz. Dark and soo many "yesteryear" racist slurs at her - "bow to her master" lrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrl - I thought a "little bit of education" - "living in 2011" - "waking up and smelling the coffee" - deleted that "poverty level" thought process

I see I am wrong - lrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrl

"Lord forgive them for they know not what they do"

@ Mz Dark and Mrs. Chima:

What in the world is with the lunatic - e-following and e-mimicking you ladies?

Some hate us foreign women that much to waste time stalking?

lolololololololol - wowww

Well - I hope you ladies had a very good day today.

First of all M

Yes, I have a Nigerian man - but let me say loud and clear that if "anything happens to him" - if we don't make it or we separate - guess what, I am not going to date ANY other Nigerian man because simply put, I didn't date him because he is Nigerian - I dated him because he is WHO HE IS AND WHAT HE HAS PROVEN HIMSELF TO BE FOR ME.

I haven't met a man like him before American or Nigerian. So his nationality had nothing to do with his selection of me and my acceptance of him. My guy and I have been together for almost a year before he told me about NL. So I am not on NL looking for African men.

I am observing the culture on NL and the interactions and I also read the news and am in the Fashion and Cooking and Political and Tribal Sections and Literature Sections. And because I am not looking for a man - I am less and less in the Romance Section these days.

I don't like your thread - it isn't fair.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=581673.msg7525024#msg7525024 date=1294942158]Why are you surprised? Hey! Are you sure MOBO isn't guy you are chatting with online? You know online personas can be deceiving.[/quote]what??!!! ooooo you are soo funny - but only because I like you

noooo-we do much, much more than chat online - my fiance and I - he definitely isn't MOBO but thank you, hahahahahaha, oll - you gave me a very good laugh today - I hope you have a very fine and productive afternoon

MOBO444 - I just like him, I feel a sense of kinship to him. He is probably having a rough time somehow right now. SO I forgive him.

MOBO444:
I never even have an once of respect for you, you just another black lady,ok.

you have broken my heart

I cannot wait to tell him I love him ALL THE TIME

I tell him I can't live without him - I love to hear his laugh - he tells me he loves me as well - he loves to hear my laugh.

FACT:  Love God more, Love yourself, Love Life - focus on yourself as that is your "protection" against fear of rejection or fear of getting hurt because of what some crazy ex did back in the day.  Basically If there is anything you don't like about yourself - WORK ON IT.  So if he leaves you wish him well and you aren't "devastated" - give what you can give of emotion, truth, love, etc.

I love "loving" both myself, God, my man.  Why would I deny or miss an opportunity to openly express love for fear of "what if" - "what if he is playing me, what if he is lying, what if he is cheating," etc.

I am not going to rob myself of happiness void of fear of the "unknown."  What I am going to do while I am Freely Giving my All in All is to build myself up so that if he does decide to move on - I will be "irresistible" to a line of replacements.

Also - retain your love for yourself - be jealous and selfish to a degree of giving an allocated amount of "your time" to "yourself."  Love spending time with yourself - Love being alone so that if he roams away - you still "love being with you."

That is KEY to allowing yourself to "love him" without restraint.  My baby ain't going to be frequenting strip bars for affection - I am his stripper, his lover, his friend, his wife, his teacher, his cook, his support system.  Don't withhold your words or your emotions to him or to "yourself."  Because you best believe my man will be my lover, friend, stripper, confidante, support system and motivator.

I will quickly tell him to "come on and get ya supper," from whispering in his ear to make him laugh and blush, to making suggestions to different ways we can swing from chandelier, to playing hop scotch like 2 kids in a candy store, to rolling up our sleeves on business endeavors, to fixing his plate and simultaneously washing his clothes while running his bath water and asking him 'baby what fragrance bath salts do you want today?' - I will clip his toenails, manicure his fingernails and if it ever grows there - I will be available to clip the hair out of the crevice of his nose.

I don't want a man unless that is the type of relationship we have - I love my life and I love living it.  And for all of you NLer's getting ready to "clown me" - take it or leave it boo boo.

[quote author=Mrs, Eve link=topic=583788.msg7510515#msg7510515 date=1294771012] [/quote]Mess = you are humorous, funny - thanks for the laugh

have a good day today

hahahahahaha

@ eve

woman!!!! u r a mess, lolololol

[quote author=Orton1_0 link=topic=583747.msg7509312#msg7509312 date=1294760591]My gf n I usually go to a hill in the desert to fast and pray for 3days for the forgiveness and atonement of the sins we always commit during s'ex.[/quote]hahahahahaha

noooo - no funny moves

i am very verbal - i will shoot an email or a text or call him on the phone and we will bust out laughing and get started - he at me and me at him - we go at it.

it is very enjoyable for both of us. whooopppeee - lololol

We talk about God a whole lot!! The joy in his voice and the sincerity in his voice is passionate and moving - we enjoy talking about God and business projects as well as estimates. We also love to laugh a whole lot about all kinds of different things.

Foods - fruits and vegetables.

Spclst900:
can't agree less.

I have seen your posts - they are very interesting - so you don't agree with mine - I'm good - give me your thoughts.

Help me out - I love diversity, new and different. What would you tell the poster?

question - "is yours a christian marriage?" or has your husband mentioned his desire to have 2 wives?  Your father-in-law mentioned that he won't marry but one of you which makes me think that "he will marry more than one."  The father-in-law knows about the relationship as he didn't deny it and I am sure that your husband has discussed with his dad the possibility of having 2 wives - hence the reason the father-in-law mentioned it in the first place.  So it has definitely been discussed between both father and son.

answer to your post - IF YOU ARE OF THE BELIEF THAT YOURS IS A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE and that you didn't sign up to be in a marriage with 3 people (you, your husband and another wife):

1) get on your knees IMMEDIATELY AND TAKE IT TO GOD in prayer
2) talk to God as frankly as you would talk to your closest friend
3) pray constantly and with sincerity
4) don't talk to anyone else
    the husband doesn't deserve a second thought
    don't talk to the father-in-law, the sister, your family, your neighbors, strangers
5) go completely mum - SILENT until God tells you to talk
6) don't cook for him, don't clean for him, don't argue with him, don't sex him, nothing
7) don't even look at him
write him a letter - let him know that until he is a husband to you in action and deed - you are only a wife to him in name and name only
9) let him know that he should straighten up and straighten this mess he has created out for the sake of the marriage, your honor, love and respect and until he handles this - you have nothing to say or do with him or to him

Continue to go about your business in the home, continue to care for your child, talk to God about monies and assistance that you need from God who is your ALL-N-ALL,  your everything - look to God for your direction and he will supply it to you.

Yes and we are going to marry

I told my family and they thought I was NUTS!!  They were completely against the idea.

Now they LOVE THE GROUND he walks on - he has proven himself to my parents and siblings.  God is soo good - I prayed FIRST, internet came second.

The naysayers have been proven WRONG AGAIN. Anything is possible with God in it and wrapped around it.

Mobo

I am soo very, very disappointed in you,

run in the opposite direction from whence she stands, walks, talks, glances in your direction even from the corner of her eyes.

[quote author=MzD@rkSkin link=topic=582307.msg7494314#msg7494314 date=1294581004][color=#0055bb]
Well well! Ms. ShyOne! How are you doing maddam? I hope the year is treating you well so far! [/color][/quote]Good morning to you Mz Dark

I have been enjoying your posts on other threads - I am very impressed with much that you have had to say in several areas. The new Year has been very good. I have been very, very busy.

I am having to limit my contributions to NL - I have soo much coming up in the very near future. I hope your New Year is going well for you as well.

Thank you very much

I love this. I have been in deep, deep discussions with my mate about this topic and he has recommended some absolutely wonderful articles.

I will add this to my daily collection that is growing quite large.

Please, please keep them coming. I love this very much.

Thank you

I followed the link and it didn't open up to the topic.

Please investigate and report the link - as I am very interested.

JUO:
yes they are

I agree

hahahahahahahahaha

whewwww

yes - "bash his head open til the white meat show."

hahahahahahahahahah

oooo "just kidding"

no - would cry, uncontrollably and walk away "knowing there will be a new day."

never

if he wasn't in the past with me and it doesn't affect our togetherness "today" such as "blacklion's" post (I agree completely with that writer's words - ALL OF THEM) - he will never find out

if it affects our "today" - children, status of credit, education level - tell him everything

we talked about "past bf/gf" and I didn't want to hear it (his past gfs and their activities together) - so we agreed to keep the past in the past (for us both)

I love small or average - large turns me off - is too difficult to manage - never dated anyone large - too frightening for me.