₦airaland Forum

Son walks in on his Dad screwing his Mom. Dad just laughs in his face and shuts the door. Later on, Dad walks in on Son screwing Grandma.
Son says, "Not so funny when it's YOUR Mom!"

Lysaa to Bashy: "Why is it that if a girl has sex with more than one guy she is a tagged a slut but if a guy has sex with more than one girl he is seen as a legend?"
Bashy to Lysaa: "If a lock can be opened by more than one key it is a useless lock but if the key can open many doors, it is a master key. Don't you agree?"

See dis chimp-monk (chimpanzee & monkey mixed together)

Which day you enter Brimz wen you dey form say you sabi read how much more write.

Make you dey wait o. You go grow grey hair for pubic.

^
O boy, you sabi read at all? Even with all the corrections from replies above you, you still dey find am hard to comprehend say Okechukwu dey very different from Ikechukwu when be the youngster for Real Zaragoza.

If e too hard you, go google, click images and then type Ikechukwu Uche and also Okechukwu Uche and you go see the difference.

I nor even sure say you dey watch live match of football unless the football when dey console (that na if you sabi play sef).

@Efemena. . .I go soon charge you for this acclaimed free show. But nor talk again for the matter sha make I handle her well well.

@Lysaa. . .You're blabbing again. See spit everywhere on your halter abi na alter neck top . You should learn to walk around with a bib to clean your mouth always. Disgusting!
How else have I been communicating with an odi such as yourself if not for the fact you know how to read and write?

A maid went to church and the pastor asked, "how many of you want to go to heaven?" Everyone put their hand up except the maid. An usher standing close to her asked, "you nor wan go heaven? Why you nor raise your hand?"
Maid replied saying, "my madam say after church make I no go anywhere. She say make I come home straight."

One day an old woman walked into a shop and got some dog food, she went to pay for it and the cashier said, "you can't buy that dog food, we need evidence that you have a dog." So she brought in her dog and she got the dog food.
The next day, the same old lady went to get some cat food and the cashier said, "you can't have that cat food we need evidence that you have a cat". She went home and got her cat hence she got the cat food.
Next day the same old lady went in again and had a box, she told the cashier to put her finger in it which she did. She claimed it felt warm and soft to which the little old lady then said, "now you're satisfied, can I have some toilet paper, please?"

I nor like fight o I like quarrel pass fight and nor be my fault na. Lysaa nor know as she wan tell me say she like me no wonder she dey always pull my original fake shirt anyhow. (Na the hem of the shirt she pull or but the neck of my shirt don slack )

You nor see her stunt with the wrapper? (See as you use style avoid the matter)

A cop pulls a young guy over:

"Hello officer" said the smart aleck kid.

"Young man did you see that stop sign?" asked the cop.

"Yup, but I didn't see you!" said the chap.

Kenneth Emuobo Gbagi Jnr, son of the Nigeria’s Minister of State for Education, Mr. Kenneth Gbagi allegedly locked up a six months pregnant woman in his father’s hotel in Warri and repeatedly violated her on February 22, 2011 in one of the most bizarre violation cases.

The violation victim, one Mrs. Oghenekobiruo Solomon, 26, who is said to be scared of losing her unborn due to the trauma was treated in an undisclosed hospital for minor injuries sustained while her husband, Mr. Solomon Okpame has threatened to “deal with” his wife’s abductor.

A source close to the minister told Pointblanknews.com that Gbagi Jnr who is in his late 20’s, met Mrs. Solomon during a reception last year in honor of his father who was appointed a minister and started the hunt. He was told the woman is married but insisted he wanted to meet her. After months of overtures, it was learnt that the minister’s son invited his victim to his hotel room under the pretext of securing her a multi million naira contract in the Education Ministry. She fell for it, and her ordeal began.

Pointblanknews.com gathered that unknown to the lady; the meeting place was Geekay Hotel, Jakpa Road, Effurun, Warri owned by Kenneth Gbagi. She was allegedly locked up in one of the rooms and violated repeatedly despite telling her abductor that she is married and six months pregnant.

It was further gathered that out of fear, Mrs. Solomon did not go to the police to file a complaint but rather tabled her experience with the Oginibo Village Council. The ugly incident is currently being handled by the Oginibo Village council. The head of the Gbagi family is said to have been invited to appear before the council.

Gbagi Jnr is the Managing Director of Woodridge Hotels and is said to be involved in running is father’s many other illicit contract.

It pays ALL the time that we readers pay attention to details or every line of a report and take up criticism thereafter before blowing hot air and curses cause for a fact, it cannot be ascertained the real issues on ground most especially coming from the so called involved pregnant lady.

Today is 4th of March and let's assume the case has been on since the 1st of March (I said ASSUME), now tell me, what happened from the 22nd of February till the 28th of February asides the acclaimed VIOLATION of the woman? Since it was said that she was LOCKED in his HOTEL ROOM and I take it to mean she spent over 3 days and was continually f[i]uc[/i]ked
Have you tried to follow up the stories of where she must have told her "now loving and ready to kill" husband she was going especially in her condition?
Even if she mentioned her whereabouts, going by the story, she must have been violated for days (unless the repeatedly violated must have begun in the morning and taken till late in the evening giving the said Gbagi Jnr time to re-energize and build up his s[i]pe[/i]rm bank) and if it is so, did the husband declare his wife missing?
Now she got out, nobody has mentioned exactly how she was free and she refused to go to the police to report the issue but the town council (make dem invoke gods for her kpekus abi?)

Yes, the point I am trying to arrive at; definitely, she must have been f[i]uc[/i]ked but until I read more facts, I refuse the violation part because like Bluetooth pointed earlier, it could have been consensus but since tis a deal gone wrong, she decided to bring it public. And in no way am I trying to exonerate the Gbagi Jnr (who obviously likes to think and act with his p[i]ric[/i]k) but it pays to get more and basic facts before judging.

bashy_demy:
Lysaa and sledge una don start again abi you guys r gonna make a great couple

How is the bolded ever considered a question or a statement?

lysaa:
My odi friend, i see u're basking in your odi euphoria. . Nobody reach u o. After all, odi nor! Lol.

Otenwen, I see you've come again especially now that you have folded your wrapper to fit in your mother-care pant to give your flat yansh (used for grounding pepper and tomatoes) shape.

lysaa:
Whats a compliment to me?
Flat nyash? LOL

Someone is finally agreeing to her qualities.

lysaa:
U have no idea who an odi is so how do u know it applies to me oga mouth piece?

You cannot run from your traits embedded in your roots Lysaa. You give what you have and should be able to take it also when it is returned, innit?
So enjoy your ODIcism cos it's a trait you can't cure. (That's you spitting uncontrollably again)

NB: I'm sure the tax collectors got to you, right? No wonder your spell or I can presume my earlier comments took you away.

Anyway, thanks to Efemena for bring your flat yansh back here but if she see that wrapper wen you fold inside your pant, she go fex for you o.

Why does it have to be duplicate? Is there no case of triplicate or more? I did hear of a particular dude who registered twice. His reason being that he did not like his facial appearance in the first picture taken

I guess many of you need to read in between the lines and understand simple English, Logic and Software application reasoning. Especially you Shagman screaming Excel.

wales:
The Chairman of the Independent National Electoral Commission, Prof. Attahiru Jega, on Wednesday said some unnamed influential Nigerians were involved in double registration during the recent voter listing.

The INEC boss, who said the number was not up to one per cent of the number of registered voters, also noted that the commission was aware of similarities in the names of people in different parts of the country.

Tell me if Excel will not reduce the number of registered voters to 5 or is that not your plan?

Just wondering if any of you watched "Sunrise daily" on Channels TV as an addendum to the debate of yesterday in which the Ass. Pub. Sec  (If I'm not mistaken) of ACN in Lagos was called on to justify the morality and ways in which BRF handled his opponents most especially Randle. Well I must say, those guys in ACN (Lagos) sure know what they are doing and are pretty good with words.
Immediately after he left, an acclaimed lawyer representing Dosunmu's camp (PDP) "Taofeek", was made to justify Dosunmu and his words during the debate and from my observation, he proved what majority of PDP members are made up of; digressing from real isues, noise making, empty promises. . .The one question Dosumnu should answer is how does he intend to make Lagos better without Tax?


Anyway, all of them are still bonkers (though BRF is best) cos none of them were able to say anything on Agriculture in their Manifesto. Which brings forth the question, what are we gonna eat in time to come? Tarred roads, Electricity? Some dude claiming to work with the Lagos Government on "AGRIC YES (Youth Empowerment Scheme)" talked of an ongoing training of young farmers and gave statistics as if progress were made in that sector until another speaker "Shedrack Madlion" called him a liar   that all those figures were LIES . This Madlion stated the reason why ONIONS is the most expensive product today since when we gained Independence and talked of more problems likely to emanate in the Agricultural Sector calling them the biggest fraud in Nigeria. Take for instance, "Subsidizing the prices of fertilizer and making this fertilizer available at the end of the planting season"-Why bring it in the first place? None of the cows you folks eat in Nigeria is from Nigeria as they belong to the Chadians and people of Niger brought in through Yobe.

What I have come to understand is don't be a loyalist to any frigging party but look at the works of those in power and those intending to be in power and judge from there. Support the Individuals, Vote the individuals and never look up to the party they stand for. Only by that means are you sure of improvement in Nigeria.

Girlfriend: I cheated
Boyfriend: So what? Did you think I love you? I have also cheated on you for the past 2 years. You are just for fun
Girlfriend: I was talking about my exams

I know Fashola is right for Lagos State but my observation and point is this. . .POWER, when it lies longer than expected in the hands of a particular individual, they begin to see it as their birth right and other individuals are lesser humans. Fashola seemed and used to be humble but having watched and listened to his comments and below-the-belt-jabs at mostly "Randle and Dosunmu", it is clear cut evidence that power is and can be intoxicating.

No wonder Ghadaffi thinks Libya is for his family.

For those who have links to the so-called Governor of Lagos State, tell him to remember his roots and go back to being humble and respectful especially when dealing with elders of high repute and I do not mean elder like Obasanjo or Anenih or Tinubu. (And I'm sort of wondering this Fashola of a human would dream of being in Aso Rock in time to come).

We are watching.

(Story of a lady's night out);

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed. . .3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'. . . he didn't seem pissed off in the least . . .Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.' When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times then said 'oh excreta.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

It got crowded in heaven so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept people who had really bad day on the day they died.

St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, of which I died from."

St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in. He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"

St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. "Tell me about the day you died?” he said to the third man in line. "OK, picture this; I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator, "

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question.

After consulting the Bible, the priest says, ” My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays.”

The man thinks: ” What does a priest know about sex?” So he goes to a minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter.

He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath!

Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge. In other words, he goes to a rabbi. The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, ” My son, sex is definitely play.”

The man replies, “Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?”

The Rabbi softly speaks, “If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it.”

Correct

I dey wait una 2

^^^Someone needs to watch a certain movie and you're there asking for the storyline. I laff @ u in Zulu.

Abeg use GOOGLE if your eyes nor dey scratch you jor.

Wetin sef

Oya nor fex

Sowie

Efemena_xy:
Ah!! Now I think the last joke's funny

but seen the previous 3 before

Cool, Entertaining, Funny & Crazy thread you've got here Sledge

keep 'em coming pls - remain small, Efe go become disciple of this your thread

Wetin you dey think? If e funny, e funny jare
Ah! So you want make I go bring joke when you never see before? Wait, I dey come!
As for my follower, I rather you stand in front of me make I see your yansh dey shake. I like my female followers in front but not the flat-yanshed ones like Lysaa . Those ones go dey last in line

By the way, if you see Lysaa, tell her make she nor fex say na becos of wetin I tell her na im make her don take more than 5 days leave. I fear o!

Mother: Son, I am sorry I slept with someone that is not your dad 23 years ago and that person is your real father.
Son: Mum, what rubbish! How am I to deal with this? You should be hanged.
Mother: I am sorry he was my first and could not just marry him because we are of different religion. He is on the phone at the moment and wants to speak with his son for the first ever.
Son: No! I am speaking to no one. Mr Alani is the only father I know and so will that be.
Mother: Please don't be so upset. Just talk to him.
Son: I will give him a piece of my mind!
Phone: Morning son. I am Mallam Aliko Dangote. I am your real father.
Son: THANK GOD. I always knew there was something special about me. Thank you mum. You are the best mother in the world!!!

A man was going on a three day trip so he called his best friend and handed him a key.

Man: I am going on a trip and would be back in 3 days. Here is the key to the padlock of my wife's private part. If I don't return after 3 days, please open the padlock so she can get some air.
Friend: No problem. I would do just that.

The man got into his car and drove off. Ten minutes later, he looks at his rear mirror and saw his friend flaging him down. He pulled over to one side parked the car and got out.

Man: What is the matter?
Friend: (Panting) You gave me the wrong key

A man gets home early from work and hears strange noise coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife n[i]ak[/i]ed on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he asked. "I think I'm having a heart attack" cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance but just as he was dialing, his 4-year old son comes up to him and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Nelson is hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The man slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally n[i]ak[/i]ed, covering on the floor "You bastard!" the man shouts," my wife is having a heart attack and you're running around the house n[i]ak[/i]ed and scaring the kids!"

A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well" says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she wants to go to heaven a virgin but can have anal sex though. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise."Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"

awwww!
She enters her jalopi and zooms off (And yes, I am happy you did not deny the fact you're an odi )
No need to be thankful for your odi-gifted traits. Just continue to uncontrollably like you've always done.

lysaa:
Is there still N10 bread? LOL

No, but I have a vivid picture of what it used to look like and your yansh is not and never would be worth bigger than a N10 bread that's in existent

lysaa:
Nah, just casting out that Odi spirit outta them. U know one of it'sits traitstrait's stubborness that alludes urs. LOL
Tell them in your next union meetin that i mean well for us all. Odi is not a good thing at all. .

You this bloody odi r[i]ap[/i]ist![/i] See your lame excuse for being with your [i]odi kind. I hope you're brought to justice soon. BTW, I have no idea where the meeting takes place. Be sure to let me know and I'll drop your message that you're ready to f[i]uc[/i]k the odi clan/community once again.

lysaa:
LOL sledge sledge, u could have passed for a real man if not for your odi condition.

You this babe housegirl! You'd do anything to make sure those your odi traits are claimed by me, innit? Heard all the odi(s) in your hood left cos you molested their life. What an odi lover you are with your small and flat yansh like N10 bread.

Ask what I know or ask because you want me to ask? Anyway google has been insightful into revealing more about the word odi and you and how you relate to one another

Oya walk in front of me so I can see you shake your flat yansh

@Bashy. . .look no further for the real description of odi. Go to google, click images and then type in odi. You'd see Lysaa's picture right from infant to present because she is a real definition of the word.

@Lysaa. . . (you spitting uncontrollably)