₦airaland Forum

Pharoh:
Please why is it only a presidential debate? is that the only problem we have in this country?

Are you in Nigeria? Have you been watching the various actions taking place in the various states? Anyway, to answer your question, like a MAN who is to be considered head of a family seeking a to marry a woman, he has to be properly checked and considered fit because once he assumes that role, he would be responsible for things that emanate from that family moreso when the family has his SURNAME.
Take Nigeria to be our surname and the Presidential post one not to be toiled with.

We have more problems in Nigeria and one by one, they shall be tackled but people all over the world including Nigeria have seen it that it is best to start from the top/head before bringing the tsunami to lesser quarter.

Pharoh:
What is the plan of this organization to ensure that there are credible candidates in other positions like the national assembly, house of representatives, governors, local government chairmen and councilors?.

I asked if you have been watching the programmes aired on TV. Don't say you didn't hear of various states holding a debate too asides Lagos state. Channels TV has been consistent in handling all those. Infact I have read so many things on NL alone (which I didn't need to watch) and it shows that actions are being taken in those little quarters like that of the Governorship post. As for the House of Reps and Senate, well their time will come if not now but as the popular saying, Rome wasn't built in a day. Consider this election to be a TEST RUN to things to come in the future so the way it is handled now will determine how things will go in the future and remember it cannot be entirely perfect because the system (both man and machine have not been totally purged).

Natasha,,:
hmmmmmmmmm after all your ranting, tell me what exactly has it changed? are there no other important things to discuss, why waste your time debating on a woman who must be blowing another bombastic grammar right now? . You all have said the poo in your soul but come to think of it has it changed anything?

Natasha, when you were born, did you have big brea[/i]sts as a infant? (Unless you have something less the size of an [i]agbalumo on your chest which is what you've maintained from birth till date). Changes come with time and it will take phase right in your face. Keep watching!


As for the lots of you coming up with crappy excuses about English language not being our lingua franca, have you tried reading about FACTS OF NIGERIA? I'd rather you shut up or stick to pidgin (which is generally accepted unofficially in Nigeria as well) instead of murder the English language embarass yourself in an attempt to speak. If English language is NOT our lingua franca, then why not go leave Adamawa for Ebonyi and speak Hausa with a fellow Ebonyi man so her gets your drift?

Yes, people have accent problems but a sound person knows one when s/he hears one so also does a sound person detect a grammatical blunder. When these blunders are excessive in a particular sentence and continous in a paragraph, do you expect these sound minds to sit in peace and not cry foul? Do you know the level of torment the ear goes through when all these happen? I have walked pass several times when Dame Patience Jonathan is aired on TV while speaking and I will never sit to listen to her instead I rather READ about them and have a laugh, keep quiet or sometimes counter people who act in her defense like it doesn't matter. Worse findings as stated her shows she's a graduate of a renowned and respect Federal University in Nigeria, Worked in a financial institution and even headed the Education Ministry in her State. How uncool are all these when till date, there has been no significant improvement in her speaking which is even made public. I think I'm more concerned on how she must have handled her PROJECT in her final year in the University unless she wrote it in her native language.

You try to compare her to other "First ladies" in other countries who cannot speak English, right? Now find out the lingua franca of these women and even when they are made to speak publicly or on air, many go with an interpreter to save them the troubles and embarassment. So what Dame Patience Jonathan from speaking pidgin or her ijaw/native language whilst an interpreter/translator does the rest?
Kind of reminds me when "Windhoek" tried making a speak in English language after receiving an MTV award in Lagos in the recent MTV MAMA award and he had to CUT himself short and smiled. English is not for everyone, true, but in an attempt to force it out without proper training/learning, you end up a laughing stock.

Dame is the laughing stock of the WORLD whether you like it or not. Afterall she made YOUTUBE, didn't she?

NB: Like it or not, Dame Patience Jonathan represent Nigeria and Nigerians one way or the other whether she was voted first lady or not.

And if I don't reign (rain) I bet you, it will snow (Iceprince- - -Like a bottle)

I'm number one and the rest you keep counting (M.I.- - -Like a bottle)

Belle never full but im slippers don chop (Sauce kid- - -Keep it pushing)

You go like go whisper to deaf man?
Imagine say your british bull dog dey cat walk just to form sexy (Sauce kid- - -E don dey madt)

A Nigerian who had won the American visa lottery, traveled to the U.S with his 8 years old son. The son who had grown used to incessant electricity outage, water scarcity and dirty environment in Nigeria, thought it was the norm all over.
He woke up the first day, surprised that there was no power outage; that water was running and the streets clean. By the third day, the boy seeing things in perfect state couldn’t contain himself, now remembering the story of paradise that he was taught in the Sunday school where people who die go. He ran and asked his father,” Daddy when did we die?”

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and de-flower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Now don't you just love that? Is there a job anywhere in the world that even comes close?)

He said and I quote

if u carry 1 million zimbabwean currency, na only tomatoes u go use am buy

I have Died!!!

lysaa:
SMH that was cowardly
u couldn't even say it urself that u had to edit my post back at me. The weakest ish!

Your mouth has been running like a tap consecutively and guess I have to let you slide since you're wanting it to take a different dimension.

lysaa:
Bbz, u took that out of sledge's mouth. .u for let am talk am but i see him wagging his tail now that u've mentioned it.
meanwhile, I was only going thru my replied posts then i posted.
He he don't go my Honey.

I didn't want to embarass you by not stating the obvious fact but guess it took a lady like you to expose you, abi?
So you're going as far begging me not to go? Wonders shall never end truly.

Tah!
Which curtain close?
Abeg I need light jare. I nor fit for darkness. Besides wetin you want make we do behind curtain?

You think she'll forgive you this time for detecting her weak points abi?

Well na to my advantage ojare!

Ehen, Lysaa, goodluck but not Jonathan in your campaign to lock this thread. Infact this is a good time to lock it

lysaa:
. .LOL rgdless, I love you Sledge and I'm never ashamed to admit it damn it! lol

Now come have a bear hug!

Efemena_xy:
ah! the dawn of realisation - I understand now, won't tease you anymore girl

but see - you yourself don admit say - even as you be wan sleep, na Sledge be the last thought for your mind!

You too Wucked jor (with pidgin accent)

Lysaa, so much for defeated man speech.
I leave you to explain to Efemena.

Who read wetin you write now go say this gal na God pikin true true.

So much for concerns about Sledge

Who dis one dey speak English for?
You better comot for hia before I call on the MODS that you're derailing my thread with all these English.

BTW, your varieties are truly divine and rare else how often do we see flat chested and flat yanshed ladies?

Federal Government of Nigeria woke up this morning looking for President Jonathan, only for men and women of the SSS to say he just left the country this morning wit D'banj & Don Jazzy. They went to see Rihana to hook Dame Patience Jonathan up with the remix of Umblerra!


Death!

lysaa:
Really? I need proof. .give me substance to hold on 2. . I won't believe in a mirage.
I for say u be nepios but u don't cut it. .U just are stunted in growth plus u be odi!

See dis giant (in your midget world) who isn't stunted. You'll get exhausted before you know it and there's nothing you can link me with ojare!
A confirmed Odi who thinks everyone around her is having same predicament. Just because you don't talk and people don't talk around you doesn't mean they are like you. They actually keep shut and wave hands in your face so you don't feel slighted or cheated.

It is high time someone took green leaf or vegetable and start chewing them raw in front of you.

Ranoscky:
shey 30naira note don dey exist ni?

Then you still nor know wetin dey happen for Okija Shrine. Wait, make the grandmaster Okija Juju con confirm am imself.

Na 2 nights ago dem bring her and her name na Lysaa.

She like me well well but I nor send her infact, I go like run the babe for you since na your specs.

Mention my name and tell am say I dey come in 20 minutes to join you. Nor let her madam catch you o. She nor dey wan hear say customer dey toast sales gals.

lysaa:
Myhead go test negative sef. .zero naira. God dey forbid bad thing finish!
Don't let it get into your head too quick i said it was a mistake If i'd left it your head would get bigger than humpty-dumpty's and soon we'd hear of your great fall!

How a whole me go start a thread in your name on purpose . .lol. .if i even call ya name na freudian slip.

Who dey talk of test? You head go be wastage, non-recyclable.
So because you care, you nor wan see my fall? When you hear say Wall of China fall (abeg nor mention China and their Original fake product o)

Whether Freddy slip or Lysaa slip, e go let you cash. My name fit help you break bank.
hahahahaha. . .Who say you be WHOLE? With 30 naira note producing head, flat yansh and flat chest you dey shout WHOLE? I laff in Irish!

Efemena_xy:
you nor too try
at least you for upgrade am reach £30 notes now

Ok I go help her change the symbol make she get small lever but I actually mean £30naira.

Position yourself for Mama Phillip shop dey drink for my head.
I go join you soon!

Under the bed!

Who you dey blow rejoinder for dis joint for?
Abeg go smoke your dried pawpaw leaf jare!

Meanwhile you dey happy say person place bet on top ya head and loose? Na person like you if dem wan use im head for ritual, e go dey produce 30 naira notes.

Efemena_xy:
^^ Nor mind am - she sabi confuse person nor be small

Oya Lysaa - post joke now for thread wen you open give us

nor make me loose ma bet!!

You dey bet for Lysaa head? Death!
Your cowries don enter voicemail be that.

lysaa:
Are y'all hard on hearing? Arrrrrrrgh
yea right! FYI the thread kicked off with your name on it, a post i directed at u. .had to modify at once. thanks for nothing.

No!
Meanwhile could you stop making shout in this libraryjokes section cos we like it absolute noisy-less.
It is actually seeing/reading.

So I don reach for you to start thread in my name, dis is serious and risky busyness. Well you shouldn't have been too scared and too quick to modify. Kpata kpata, na to send Shakara to use cane flog your flat yansh.
You're welcome!

Okija the juju man, where you hide since abi na work make you hide your head dis one wen be say election time don reach again and I know say those your customers go don dey come for serious balming for your shrine.
Abeg do well to release some list of people when don come pledge loyalty and pay royalty to the forces of Okija.

How paroles na? For the new and young generators generations, them say them wan chop wetin deir fathers dey chop. Man, you really need to enter shrine again and show them what you're made of.

Efemena_xy:
well it kinda makes sense

the Homo Sapiens are animals - aren't they?

By Homo sapiens, you mean [b]WO[/b]men/[b]FE[/b]males abi?

Efemena_xy:
OJ - wetin u bring come for me from your travels?
pls no Agege bread this time

Human skulls and bone to take make better Afang soup

@Bashy and Shakara. . .Una do well o for the thank me
Nor worry, I go buy crate of pure water share for this thread soon. It is high time we all got refreshed.

Dani!!!
You're predicatable I swear!
Just spoke few lines and you locked Chykason's complain topic. . .all these people with Ghaddafi reasoning sef, a tsunami is coming your way.

And yes, Chykason is Jackpot (not) and Jackpot (not) is Chykason. So remove you hand from the brothers throat and allow him speak freely. Which kind oppression be that sef? And I think say you be get conscience.

^^^
You nor get mouth jor

Na small thing Ghadaffi take pass you (only say im nor sabi use computer) but like all dictators, UN go sanction, US and UK go send bombers and wipe una clean.

As for you Chykason aka Jackpot (not)- - -according to Efemena- - -I saw from the Calabash of red paint that you have not been able to make shout due to the actions of Dani1[b]hate[/b]. Na im be the babalawo when dey do you strong thing after Idowu pay am in cash and kind to press your neck.
Na church go fit solve your problem since you nor wan bring those things I ask of you.

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”

The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”

In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire. A drunkard with ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position. The director of the factory wondered how to send him away and decided to test him.

They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, "It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers." "That's correct", said the boss.

Another glass. "It's red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south western slope, oak barrels."

"Correct!" The director was astonished.

He winked at his secretary to suggest something. She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it.

"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the work office. And if you don't give me the job, I'll also tell who's the father!"

The boss collapsed.

Nor worry, you go see the fresh jokes after we don harvest finish.