Great people of this forum, honestly things have never been better ever since that incident and I wish our minds are like show glass so that y'all would see how sorry I am inside of me. I messed up and I'm really sorry.
5 days after I created that post above, My wife traveled with my daughter to her parents house to stay without telling me. Since that incident my wife haven't said a word to me, Not a single word. Sometimes I wonder if she's the same woman I married. I'm frustrated, incoherent and I'm losing my mind.
I've been good to her, I provide 85% for my family while she bring just 15% yet I don't complain, I'm romantic and good looking, since we married I don't keep female friends not to talk of cheating. Yet She denied me sex over 2 months without any reasons, that was why I acted that way and I'm so sorry.
On Tuesday here, My friend and I traveled to her parents house, they did not even welcome us well, I don't know what she must have told her parents but I explained myself, knelt down and asked for forgiveness.
She refused to come home with me, her parents were just starring at me like I'm some demon, I requested for my daughter but she refused to release her and I've already paid my daughter's school fees for the term. Her parents said they would register my daughter in a new school, that my wife need some space for now.
Please don't call me a weak man, I'm family oriented, I don't want broken home, if she needed some space that's not a problem, I can give her all the space in the world but let her come home. It's not proper raising a child in a broken home...I'm really losing my mind.
I faced query today at work because I traveled without informing my Boss which I know he won't allow me and I know how much would be deducted from my salary. what I'm going through now I can't wish my enemies and I wish I could turn back the hands of time. I messed up.
Beloveth Pls I need advice.
Oga, focus on your self and stop this character.
In this one life you have, you have to stay strong.
When people perceive you as "weak" "dependent" and "predictable," they'll trample on you.
Go cold on your wife and put yourself first.
You're being to emotional and quite sentimental - that's what led to all of this.
Now, the hunter has become the haunted.
You had no right to rape her but the deed is done.
Try to guard your emotions and stay strong. Get a grip on yourself.
For now, give your wife some space and Focus on yourself and personal growth.
If you let this sink you, you'd lose your job and will only fall deeper into the hole of SIMP-hood.
donbachi: You'all want traditions dat has to do with female circumcision abolished.but,not ready to abolish bride price,transport fare,abortions and entittlements.
Ashawo everywhere.
My God! What's with this ashawo y'all are calling women everytime? Besides, your statement makes absolutely ZERO SENSE.
If you don't want to date a woman who asks you for anything, then go for an independent woman.
It's not hard!
The problem with you crybabies is that you keep going for women whose lifestyles do not match yours.
ChiomaCa: Hello everyone, I'm in need of an advice, I got married to a man 5yrs+ ago. He relocated some months after marriage to Canada, I went to meet him 2 years after. And we had a baby 10months after my arrival. Immediately I arrived his place, I noticed he flirt alot onlline, Sex chats, Video sex chats, Visit porn sites, visit Prostitue Sites, and the rest. I caught him red-handed twice and he begged and pleaded not to do such again. I forgive him and I believe maybe because of the distance we had in two years.
We move on and I promise myself not to even go near his Laptop or mobile phone anymore.
I adhered to that for more than a year, which I'm still doing that till December 23 of 2021.
My daughter threw his I-watch inside water. Then I picked it up to drain for some minutes, after I drianed, I realised a message popped up , which Read " Do you enjoy me yesterday Do I book you for tomorrow again"
I was forced to check what's this. I saw hell. In short, he visited two different Prostitues in a hotel to book 30 minutes session with them for $160 and $220, I also saw other messages asking for Anal sex from these Escorts. I realised, he visited them 3rd, 1st 22nd of December. During these period, I was the one begging him for sex. He said he's not interested that he's Fixed with many activities and Shifts at work.
I was in the house hopping my husband as gone to work, not knowing he's doing something else within his short break and free time.
Immediately I saw this, I was devastated,I was mad at my self. We are very religious. Why all these for God sake, this is the 3rd time, what have I done to myself, have made a wrong choice?
I called his brother back in Nigeria and I inform and sent all what I saw to him, he called and talked to him, the next day, my husband came to me, apologize and promised not to do that again. I accept and forgive him.
Few days ago, I have been having this kind of feeling, I feel like I'm not beutiful because why will my husband prefer a Prostitue than me.
I hate myself, I think about it every minutes, whenever I see him, my mind keep breathing fast. I'm sad and I'm not happy, I don't know what to do.
I can't discuss with my parents, because they see my husband as the most religious person.
He doesn't talk much, keep friends nor drink.
I need advice dear mummy and daddy please is this a red light?
The first thing to do is to STOP blaming yourself for something that another human is entirely responsible for. Please, don't let this man's immoral vices reduce your self-esteem. Some men are like this - perverted, irresponsible, and randy. It's not your fault, it's his fault. He doesn't mind that he's disrespecting you. Stop forgiving him and try to be strong emotionally.
matrix199: Your sexual narcissism is misplaced. Your assumption that she settled for less may be wrong. Her new man might just make her realise you were a toddler in the act of s*x.
Thank you so much for your comment. I was going to quote him when I saw what you wrote. He doesn't know that people, feelings, and bodies change.
stampo: Good morning fellow Nairalanders. This is real matters that needs your advice..
A very close friend of mine has found himself in a confused state and will need best advice on how to handle a critical situation.
This guy is already planning to get married with his girlfriend later this year ...plans going on. During the last holidays, he ran into his ex girlfriend after a long while, they exchanged number and he invited her over to have a drink then hang out somewhere.
During the course of the meeting one thing lead to another they had sex...this happened 2 months ago.
My friend just got a call from the ex girlfriend that she missed her period and she is pregnant for him.. My friend was like trying to explain to her that he is get married in few months time and has no plans for her as regards marriage.
The ex girlfriend says she is keeping the pregnancy that my friend should do what ever he feels The issue now how can he tell his girlfriend and parents about it.
Should he stop the planning of the wedding or should he continue with the ex girlfriend ?.
pocohantas: And who designed you not to stay with one woman? For a gender that knows they are designed to fck about, why cry so much when you discover your woman is another man’s side pussy? Why not take it as a contribution to the brotherhood? Mtcheew
Because marriage is not all about sex. Stability, companionship and long term goals. If not you would have married a porn.star and live in a brothel!
Help me ask them! It's a huge jab at their egos when they realize that another man is comfortably chopping their woman. Bro code in the mud.
Barrister026: My wife left me December 18th during the festive period to her home town, til this moment I haven't had sex. Trust me it hasn't really been easy we can't fight nature. All the temptations at work and along the roadside when am on wheels my eyes are seeing.
So I decided to visit a popular relaxing spot this evening to while away time, ordered gulder to quench my taste... to my surprise they were girls displaying their markets.
At first I ignored, but body just did me one kind, I signalled one to come sit with me bought her drink and from there ask her how much she charge.
(Which she told me, saying she go do me well) Then I had a war going on in my mind, hope you know say you be married man?.
Seriously I got married since 2019, I haven't had another lady apart from my wife.
So we went to her room, I gave her money..she was about to pull her top.
I don't know what got into me, I say "hi please don't bother....." She was surprised.
I went outside sweating.... the money I gave her didn't pain me.
What pain me is am so ashamed of myself for even having that thought.
Even though I didn't do the act, I feel like have cheated already for entering her room.
(This feeling didn't come because she's a prostitutes, I know I feel same way if it's a normal lady)
So married men how do you confidently cheat on your wife without remorse?
May God bless you and continue to strengthen you! Amen.
Maks27: So I had this Local dog I love very well, I feed her all the time.
She eats whenever eat. She is so fresh unless you take a close look you won't know it's a local dog.
But during the Christmas holiday I travelled, by the time I came back my precious dog doesn't stay In our apartment again, she now spends all her time at our neighbors, if I call her and my neighbors call her at the same time she will answer them first.
This dog has completely forgotten about me. Sometimes I will go pick her up there feed her and before I look again she has returned to our neighbors house.
So I ask my dad what could have happened and he told me they beat her when I travelled because she dog a hole in the backyard. Please how do I draw my dog back to me Please help me I don't want to loose her.
Awwww! As a Dog Lover, this is the sweetest thing I've read today! God bless all the doggos
Giftlove11: I was being blinded by love to the extent that my boyfriend and I took a blood covenant, that was about some years ago..
The truth is that I was so madly in love with him, and when he brought out the ideal, I thought that was the only way he will be mine forever. So I agreed with him, and we made the convenant.. We use needle to cut out blood from our thumb, and we made a vow never to live each other or make love with another person..
i've been discussing with him to end this convenant, but he always refuses. We took the convenant when i was 17yrs, and Its been 8years now, and i've loved only him. Even though i don't love him again, i'm afraid to have or make love with another person. he say we can't end it and that we must mary each other.
I already found someone else i love, i'm planning to report him to the police or his parents if he dosn't give me a chance to go away..
*i don't kno if it will actually hurt me if i love another person.
i really want to go away from him
Report to which Police or whose parents? Are you kidding me? Wow! I'm sorry to burst your bubble but there's no way out!
ChizzyBuna: I had a fling with one of my work friends. She lives 15 mins apart from my area We have been having sex for over a year She is a good friend.
Long story short, i was given promotion at work. My job is one of the hardest. I'm in charge of recurring new workers and im the one that submit the names of those who will be sacked. The M.D is my uncle and he trust me so much
Today i opened a file and saw this girls name on list of people to be sacked. I have to submit it and prepare their letters. I have defended her when my uncle wanted to sack her last year. If i defend her again, my uncle will suspect im having fling with her. He almost caught us kissing so he is suspicious If my uncle find out, he might sack me. He sees me as an angel and i want to keep that reputation. So i can become M.D
modified For those asking why they want to sack her Last year, during staff meeting. She kind of challenged a senior collegue's idea infront of everybody, the man was not having it. It caused a riff between them. Since then the man has been trying to sack her. Based on he is my uncles alley. I defended her privately to my uncle. They didnt sack her.. Last year my uncle annouced that he will be going to uk for hip surgery. His wife has taken over as of January. Maybe the wife has a hand in this. And i cant ask her why..
Both my uncle and wife are not on nairaland. So its safe to bring this topic here
Abeg guy, come give us update of! Mr. Romeo, Romeo!
Dr Chikodili Nwigwe, a consultant pathologist at Military Hospital, Yaba Lagos, speaks about Sylvester Oromoni's autopsy results. She was among the 8 doctors that witnessed the autopsy at LASUTH.
She said: 'Yes, due process was followed. All the necessary protocols, methods, laboratory tests, radiological testing, were performed. We had about 8 pathologists there.at the Lagos State University hospital morgue where the second Autopsy was carried out. The autopsy was recorded from start to finish. Photographs were taken, not by one by many. So whatever you have documented can be corroborated with video and picture evidence.....'
pompeiimagnus: If you conduct a real life survey of marriages, 7 out of 10 times, the man is the breadwinner. Your aunty and the women you know are the exceptions. That’s reality. Women get married to men who usually make far more than them.
Untrue.
You'd be shocked to see the number of women picking up bills in their homes. Funny thing is that they don't even complain.
pompeiimagnus: As someone who works, I’m sure you know the mental and physical stress it takes to earn a decent living in Nigeria. Men and women don’t have it easy as you clearly know. It is a smart decision to have financial discussions with your man before even getting married.
Number of kids and finances are discussions that must be had, else you guys are going into that marriage with deception. If you intend on staying at home to look after the kids, I think you should be honest with your man about your this too. If you and your man cannot have these discussions before getting married, do you really think marriage and kids would make it easier
I think you've said it all!
Yes, it's pivotal to have these discussions - finance is such a big issue in marriage. And that's why it's best if the Op and his lady go their separate ways if things don't work out. No ill feelings.
He would get a perfect woman, and maybe she would get her perfect man.
You see, there are women who have made plans in place for when they have children and how they plan to cushion their families.
benqo01: I see plain stupidity in what you wrote,who is not a breadwinner in the family? You talk like a lad,as if its only women that are bread winners in the family.
Lol what has pregnancy got to do with all this? You re just bringing up irrelevant issues here to cover up your stupidity nd greediness.
Lol shiloh awaits you people like you, cry in your closet for husband but come online to form rubbish gettat
You better change that your mentality now,its never too late
I feel so sorry for you. So much bitterness and pettiness in a man.
nextstep: To the women bread-winning. Kudos to them. But I must argue that if a woman's not going to be carrying financial burden for the children she chose to make, she should have let her parents know early on so they won't have bothered spending money educating her. I'm being intentionally mean, but that's the logical conclusion your statement is taking me to.
Makes sense and quite logical. But oga, maybe when you visit a labor ward and come back, you'll know that Women are trying.
Being a mom takes a toll on you mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and all.
It's unfair to put financial pressure on a woman. This doesn't go to say the woman will not use her discretion to "come through" for some expenses.
I have friends who are still depressed and somewhat suicidal after birthing babies.
Personally, would I be a stay-at-home wife? Nope.
I'll work extra, extra hard. And would contribute without being forced or pressured.
Furcko: No such thing as a real man, but only blackmailwomen to make a man do her bidding
Newsflash; Growing old without fulfillment is tortue and carrying Children in Marraige and being a mother is not an achievement, bcus if the man isn't involved in their lives the responsibility you runaway from will still be shouldered by you
Only simp men slave away their youth to please their wives
One thing that makes me so happy is that WOMEN ARE WORKING EXTRA HARD THESE DAYS to make it legitmately.
And what makes you think that a man abandoning his family is the end of the world for the woman? Guy, you fall my hand o with your myopic thinking. Looooooool.
Cry hard as you may, there are millions of men out there buying diamonds and expensive gifts for their wives. It has always been so and will always be so! The greatest gift a woman prays for is being a mother, not being married to your wahala gender.
nextstep: So are you implying that all the money and time educating the girl, so she too can work in modern society and contribute to her household financially... are you implying that was all for nothing? I mean, she also went to the same schools, took the same exams, made the choice for career, etc. And somehow it's not cool for her partner to insists she deploy her earnings into the household?
She too is not ready for marriage, running away because she was given a bill.
As you can see, she works. I'm glad she's not idle.
And you can never ever truly tell why people make the decisions they make.
I've seen women start out very supportive only to be left with the huge responsibility of taking care of the family and their husbands.
pompeiimagnus: Everyone knows that men bear the bulk of the family financial responsibilities 90% of the time. The women making more than their men are probably less than 10%. If you can’t have an educated discussion with your spouse about finances before getting married, are you not setting yourself up for failure? Remember this guy is a salary earner who can lose his job at anytime!!! Moreover, this was just a proposal!!!!
As I have asked before, as a single lady who pays these bills for you?
Wrong. He says he hustles and I think that means a business.
Where did you get your statistics from?
About Everybody knowing that a man foots most of the bills in the family?
What I'm saying is that he has options to NOT get married or look for a woman who earns more.
As a single lady, I work extra hard and pick up my bills myself - feeding, rent, upkeep.
It was only recently when business became very rough someone helped out in a relationship. Prior to then, I was the one picking up my ex'es bills and NO ONE heard of it.
Kooldame: The lady is very lucky to have this kind of man as her fiance.What of we ladies that are responsible for 80% of the family responsibility all in d name of she is working in a better place
This is the comment I've been searching for. What some of these men do not know is that some women are the breadwinners in their matrimonial homes. But they keep quiet about it just to respect their husbands.
I can't carry our babies for 9 months, push them out, change my body and clock in motherhood just to be stressing myself carrying financial burden.
Marriage is not a must. I'll work hard for my money but no man will tell me how to spend it.
Romance › Re: Why Do The Uneducated Ladies Get Married Before The Educated Ones? by SoapQueen(f): 10:36pm On Jan 21, 2022
